


Turn Back Time

by Mistyeyes73



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Dean Winchester, Bodyguard Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Has Secrets, Cybernetics, Dean Winchester Has Secrets, Don't Have to Know Canon, Exploitation, Gun Violence, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Kidnapping, Loss of Control, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Kissing, Oral Sex, Paranoid Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Psychological Trauma, Reverse Chronology, Secret Relationship, Unethical Experimentation, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-08-05 13:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 45
Words: 182,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16368761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistyeyes73/pseuds/Mistyeyes73
Summary: Dean held Castiel on the roof of a thirty-story building, whispering words of love even as he forced him off the edge.  What brought them to this point?  How could a dedicated bodyguard betray his client so badly?  And why would Dean insist Castiel was safe even as he sent them both falling towards the street below?A reverse-chronology story.





	1. Chapter 19 - The Roof

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is meant to be shocking, and very little about it is what it seems. Please note the chapter numbers that I list. This story is being told in reverse chronological order, which may be confusing. The end of each chapter wraps around to the beginning of the one before, revealing more and more until we hit chapter one and things change. As far as the major character death tag goes, there are two, Samandriel and Sam Winchester. Both are discussed in past tense in the course of the story. I can't imagine that could be all that triggering, but you never know. And remember, this is reverse chronology, so expect to see them again!

            Castiel looked down from a dizzying height.  The expanse of the building spread out below him, going down, down, along the flat plane of glass and cement, down into the darkness until it reached the street far below.  The lights of the cars moved busily along, oblivious to his eyes on them. The noises of the street drifted up, faint and echoing among the concrete behemoths, the skyscrapers of the city that belonged only to the whistling wind.  Not even the pigeons came this high.  The tail of his tan trench coat flapped wildly in the wind, slapping against his legs and those of the man behind him.  The music seemed an odd counterpoint, bright and cheerful from the tiny speaker behind him.

            The edges of his heels rested uneasily on the smooth, uncertain surface of the carved stone gargoyle that jutted from the corner of the building.  The monstrous face snarled its warning, a silent sentinel worn by time and constant exposure to the elements.  The face capped the end of a long neck, the corner piece of the building.  Smooth edges proved inhospitable to the man trying to support his weight on it.  He could feel his heels sliding, feel himself slipping millimeter by millimeter towards the empty space beneath his feet, where nothing but the long, long fall to the streets below waited him.  With a whimper of fear, Castiel tried to adjust his footing, get back further onto the gargoyle.  Not possible. He’d been crowded out to the edge, his precipitous perch the last barrier to certain death.  His left heel slipped and he gasped, scrabbling to regain his footing.  “I don’t want to die!” he cried.

            “Shh.  You’ll be alright.”

            “Please!”  The powerful arm around his chest pinned his arms.  It trapped him even as it was his lifeline, Castiel’s only anchor to keep him from falling.  He clutched at the arm, wanting to loosen it and free himself, wanting it to tighten and hold him more securely, desperately wanting the man it belonged to to let him move back from this awful edge.  “Please, Dean, don’t do this!  Don’t hurt me!”

            “I’d never hurt you, angel.”  Dean’s face was nuzzling at the back of Castiel’s neck. His body was warm, pressed up against Castiel’s.  The wind whipped around them, bitterly cold and threatening to blow them from their perch. “Don’t be afraid.”

            “But I am afraid!”  Castiel tilted his head back, trying to press against Dean, somehow force him back.  “Please, let’s just go back to the roof, just a few steps?”

            “It’s alright.”  Dean was whispering in his ear now.  His tongue flicked out, licked at Castiel’s ear, drawing his ear lobe into his mouth.  Dean sucked at it.  Then he kissed along Castiel’s jaw, taking advantage of the position of his head as Castiel leaned back against him.

            Castiel turned his face away as Dean’s lips approached his mouth.  “Stop, please!”

            “Kiss me.”

            “No!  Let me get back on the roof!  You’re going to drop me!”

            “No I won’t.  I’ll never let go of you, angel.”

            Another gust of wind, this one stronger than before. It pounded against them, forcing Dean to shift slightly to keep his balance.  The movement made Castiel’s feet slip off the tiny rounded edge of the gargoyle’s face.  He cried out in terror and dangled in space for a moment.  “Dean!  Please help me!”

            “I’ve got you!”

            The arm around him was firm, solid.  Castiel clung frantically, desperate to keep himself from sliding out from under it.  Beneath him was nothing but empty air.  Castiel caught his heels on the face of the gargoyle again, managing to balance on the inch or so of space Dean gave him.  He stood, panting and shaking in terror.

            Incredibly, Dean was kissing him again, lips moving along his throat beneath the hinge of Castiel’s jaw.  “Cas.  Kiss me.”

            “No!  Leave me alone!  Please, Dean, just let me get back on the roof, or at least up on this gargoyle more? Please!”

            “You don’t trust me.”  Dean’s voice sounded hurt.  “You think I’m going to let you fall!”

            “I just fell!”

            “You didn’t fall.  You slipped off the edge, but I didn’t let you fall.  I’ve got you, and I’m not going to let go of you, Cas! Why won’t you just trust me?”

            “Because I tried to help you and you grabbed me!” Castiel cried, terror making him reckless.  “You dragged me over the edge and then you dangled me out here like this! Would you trust you?!”

            “Yes.  Because I know how much I love you.”  Once again, Dean was kissing him.  His lips left damp marks on Castiel’s face and neck that quickly grew cold in the frigid air.  “I love you, Cas.  I would never hurt you!”

            “Then let me go, Dean!”

            “I can’t do that.”

            “Why?!”

            “Because you’ll run.”  Dean’s voice had a note of finality to it, even as he continued to kiss Castiel.  “You’ll run, you’ll go right back into your cage, and you’ll never understand how I feel about you, how much I love you.  You won’t even give me a chance to prove to you how much I care!”

            “Alright.”  Castiel was shivering from more than cold.  If he’d had any doubts before about how unstable Dean Winchester really was, they were gone now.  “Alright, Dean.  You want me to understand how much you love me.  But it’s not possible right now.”

            The lips paused near his ear.  “Why?”

            “Because you’re scaring me!”  Castiel twisted his head away and gasped when one of his heels again slipped off the edge.  He quickly brought his foot back up and froze.  He couldn’t move.  He couldn’t get away.  He couldn’t get back to safety.  And he couldn’t make Dean stop kissing him.  He shuddered.  “Dean, listen.  I’m sorry, alright?  I’m sorry for how I treated you.  You told me how you really felt, and I rejected you.  I didn’t give you the time, the attention that I should have given you.  I wasn’t kind to you.  There was a better way to handle it.  And you deserved better!  You’ve been protecting me all this time, watching over me, keeping me safe!  And I never told you how much I appreciate it.”

            “It’s alright.”

            “No, it’s not alright!  And I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that I took you for granted.  I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.  And I’m so sorry that I gave you the wrong idea about the two of us!”

            “You didn’t give me the wrong idea.”  Dean buried his face in Castiel’s neck and breathed deeply.  “You smell so good!”

            “I did give you the wrong idea.  I clearly did, because I obviously led you on, made you believe something was there between us when there wasn’t!  And I’m so sorry for that.  I really do respect you, admire you.  But I don’t love you!”

            “Yes, you do!  You just don’t know it.”

            Dean kissed him again, and Castiel grimaced. “Please stop?  I don’t want this, Dean!  Whatever I did, whatever I said, to make you believe that there was something between us?  I’m sorry. Because it isn’t true, alright?”

            “You don’t know what you’re saying, Cas.  This isn’t who you really are!  But I saw you, the real you, that night.  And no matter what happened after, no matter what anyone said or did to you while I was away?  It doesn’t change anything.  I know who you really are.  And I know how you really feel!”

            Another strong gust of wind made Dean sway again. Castiel scrambled, this time managing to remain on his perch.  Once again, Castiel was forced to lean back into Dean.  And once again, Dean took full advantage, kissing the exposed sections of Castiel’s face and neck.  “Dean, please stop, alright?  Just stop and listen to me!”

            “I did listen to you.  I heard everything you said that night, Cas. Everything!  And I know how it is for you.”  Another kiss.  “I’ve been watching over you for all this time.  I’ve seen you, how everyone controls you?  I know how much pain you’re in, angel.”  Another kiss.  “I know how afraid you’ve been.”  Another kiss. “You think I haven’t heard you crying in the night?  When you’re lying alone in your bed and all that pressure is just weighing down on you?”

            “I do know,” Castiel called.  He forced himself not to pull away and possibly make Dean lose his balance.  Dean’s footing, he knew, wasn’t that stable.  The neck of the gargoyle was rounded, smooth.  At any moment, Dean’s shoes could slip.  Then they would both fall to their deaths.  Stay calm, Castiel.  “You’ve been right there with me, haven’t you?  Watching this whole time.  Seeing everything...”

            “You’re damned right I saw everything!”  Dean’s voice had dropped to a low growl.  “And I do mean everything!  I saw what that son of a bitch did to you, what he made you do! And I should have killed him then! But I knew if I did, it would have only made things worse for you.”

            “You’re right.  You made the right choice.”  Castiel’s mind was racing, trying to figure out what to say that wouldn’t set the unstable man off.  “You protected me then.  And that was the right thing to do.  Now I need you to protect me again!”

            “I will protect you!  That’s why we’re out here, Cas, don’t you see?  I will never let them hurt you again.  I swear it!”

            “But Dean, now you are the one who is hurting me!” He nodded, feeling Dean stiffen at his words.  “You’re holding me out here in the cold, perched on this ledge where we could fall any moment, and I’m terrified!  Dean, this isn’t about trusting you, it’s about physics.  It’s freezing out here!  The wind is picking up.  How long do you think you can stay out here, keep holding me up?  You know I’ve nearly fallen a few times now.  How long before the cold affects you, and you can’t hold onto me anymore?  How long before I slip, or you do?  Please, just go back a few steps so I can get my feet under me!  Do that, and I won’t be so afraid that you’ll get carried away kissing me and slip!”

            Dean frowned.  From the corner of his eye, Castiel could see him mulling things over. Then, to his immense relief, Dean nodded.  The arm around him pulled him back, letting him take another step onto firmer footing. He wasn’t safe by a long shot. But at least now, he was standing with more than the edge of his heels on a solid surface.

            Dean nudged at him, insistent.  “Now kiss me!”

            Castiel wanted to refuse, to insist that Dean move back onto the roof.  But he knew he had to give Dean something.  Bracing inwardly, Castiel turned his head and pressed his lips to Dean’s.

            Dean eagerly kissed him.  His tongue licked at Castiel’s lips, wanting entrance. Castiel obediently opened, letting Dean lick into his mouth.  Dean gave a little moan of pleasure, tightening his arm around Castiel and leaning dangerously into the kiss.  Castiel just wanted it to stop.  He tolerated it for an endless moment before turning his head away.  He was breathing hard, fighting to control his fear and anger.

            Fortunately, Dean apparently mistook his reaction for something else.  “That’s right angel,” he cooed.  “You remember, don’t you?  That first night, the way we made love?  You remember how good I made you feel, Cas, how much you loved it when I’d touch you!”

            “Dean, you’re confused.  We never made love!”

            “We did.  You just can’t let yourself remember.  But it’s ok.  I’ll never forget it, how wonderful it was.  And I can help you remember again!  I’ll hold you, Cas, the way I did that night.  And you can lie in my arms again and feel safe.  You’ll know that I’ll protect you from anything and anyone who tries to hurt you.  And this time, I will!  I’ll never fail you again, Cas!  We’ll be together forever!”

            With more solid footing, Castiel dared to twist around, look back.  Just above him, the flagpole hung.  The colorful banner bearing the Angeli Quinque company logo normally fluttered down, proudly flying from the corner of the building.  But now Castiel understood a bit of how Dean had been keeping his balance. He’d grabbed hold of the flag, twisting the edge of the material in his left hand, and was using it to steady them both while his right arm remained wrapped around Castiel.  The material was stretched.  It was a miracle the flag hadn’t torn, dropping them both to their deaths.  As it was, Castiel was trying very hard not to think about just how far down the ground was below them.  He’d already gotten too much of a taste of that.  Dean was smiling, seeing him look up at the flag.  “The image of angels surrounding the Earth, but the gargoyles underneath are what they’re really like, right angel?”

            Castiel didn’t know what to say to that.  Dean was after him again, wanting another kiss. Castiel fought back a groan and kissed him again.  Then he once more turned his face away.  “Can we please go back to the roof?”

            “Don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Dean warned. “Especially if...  Son of a bitch!”

            Castiel cried out in alarm, finding himself shoved forward once more until he was again balancing on his heels on the edge of the gargoyle’s head.  “No, stop! Dean!”

            “It’s alright, angel,” Dean soothed.  His attention was fixed on the figures who’d appeared on the roof.  “I won’t let them hurt you!  I swear it!”

            “Winchester!”  Michael was coming forward, flanked by Lucifer on his right and Raphael on his left. “Come on back here.  You do not want to do this!”

            Dean literally snarled, his arm tightening around Castiel.  “You’re not going to touch him!”

            “Castiel!”

            Gabriel, late to arrive as usual.  It was a testament to how upset he was that he’d actually called Castiel by his correct name.  Gabriel had moved to the edge of the roof, looking like he was about to charge forward and grab Castiel before Lucifer extended a hand to keep him back. “Dean, don’t hurt him, please!”

            “I’m not the one who hurts him!” Dean yelled. “You four better get the hell back!”

            Gabriel licked his lips, raising his hands.  “We’re not here to hurt anyone, alright?  Dean, we’re out here because Castiel called us! You’re scaring him!”

            “You’re lying!” Dean roared.  “Back up, all of you!”

            “Dean, please!” Castiel pleaded.  “It’s not a lie, I did call them!  They’re not going to hurt me, or you.  They just want to talk!  Please, can’t we just go back onto the roof and talk to them?”

            “Don’t you hurt him, Winchester!” Raphael warned.

            “He won’t!  He’d never hurt Castiel, would you, Dean?”  Gabriel was still holding up his hands as though in surrender, his eyes flickering between Castiel and Dean.  “You won’t hurt him, because you protect him.  You’re the guy who watches over him, keeps him safe!  So of course you’re not going to hurt him now.”

            “That’s right!” Dean exclaimed fiercely.  “That’s right, I protect him, and I’m protecting him right now!”

            “This is absurd!  We have got to get him back!”  Michael started forward.  “Winchester, let him go!  Come back over, and...”

            “Whoa, back up!”

            To Castiel’s horror, Dean wrapped both arms around him.  He’d let go of the flag, giving up the scant protection it offered in favor of wrapping his other arm around Castiel’s waist and lifting him up.  Then he made it worse by moving even further forward on the gargoyle.  Now Castiel had nothing at all to stand on.  Dean was the only thing keeping him from falling.  And Dean was leaning forward, dangling him over the abyss.  His eyes were on Michael, who had frozen in place. “Back up!” Dean was ordering. “Just back the fuck up!  You’re not touching him, you miserable pieces of shit!”

            Lucifer and Raphael quickly pulled Michael back. Michael went, his hands in the air. His skin was darkened, flushed with fear and anger as he glared at Dean.  “Alright! We’re back!  Don’t you hurt him, Winchester!”

            “You better stay back, Michael!  I don’t trust you.  And Lucifer, I better not see security up here!”

            “Alright!  Luc, keep the security teams back.  If he’s spooked, he might drop Cas!  Gabe, he doesn’t trust me, but he listens to you!  Talk to him!”

            “Dean, we moved back!” Gabriel called frantically. “This is me talking to you now, Dean. You and I, we always got along, right? So listen to me now.  Castiel’s safe, Dean, no one is going to hurt him. Now please, come back!  Bring him back!”

            Dean only tightened his grip around Castiel. Castiel moaned in terror, staring down and seeing his feet dangling thirty stories above the ground.  “Dean!  Please! Let me go back!”

            “Shh, it’s alright, angel.  I won’t hurt you.”

            “We know you won’t hurt him.”  Gabriel again.  “But you’re scaring him very badly!  Dean, look at him, look at Castiel!  He called us because he’s terrified!”

            “I am, Dean, I’m so scared, please!  Don’t do this!  Please, just let me go back!”  Castiel froze and cried out in terror as another gust of wind made Dean sway. “Dean!  Don’t do this to me!  I don’t want to die!”

            “What is it you want, Winchester?” Raphael wanted to know.  “We’ll give you anything, name it!  What’s it going to cost to get you to come back and let Castiel go?”

            “Cost?!  That’s all you care about, isn’t it?  You think everything has a price tag, Lucifer thinks he can take whatever he wants by force, and Michael uses all his connections and makes people dance on strings! But you, Gabe?  You’re the worst one of all!  You trick people into doing what you want!  You put on this act like you care.  You listen to what they have to say.  And you’ll even take steps towards helping people, trying to make it seem like you’re trustworthy!  And then you talk, use that silver tongue of yours and mix truth and lies to talk people into your way of thinking.  You trick them into doing what you want, just like you tricked me!  I never should have listened to you!  You made me believe that you’d help me when you were the culprit I was looking for all along.  That was bad enough.  But you promised me Castiel would be safe!  He wasn’t!  And now it’s too late!”

            “It’s not too late!”  To Castiel’s surprise, it was Lucifer who’d spoken.  “You’re talking about me, right?  About what you saw?  You’re making a mistake, Dean.  What you saw, it wasn’t what you thought it was!”

            “He’s telling the truth, Dean!” Castiel insisted. “What you thought you saw, that isn’t what happened!  Lucifer was only...”

            “Dammit Cas, listen to yourself!  They’ve got you so brainwashed that you’re even starting to sound like them, spouting back their lies!  But no more.”  Dean leaned alarmingly forward to kiss Castiel again.  “I love you, Cas.  And I’m going to save you.  But you have to trust me.”

            “Trust you?”  Castiel was afraid to move.  Once more, the wind gusted around them and Dean, still leaning forward, swayed as it buffeted him.  Somehow, he kept his balance, kept holding Castiel as he dangled in space.  “I trust you, Dean!” he cried, terrified.  “I do, I trust you!  Please, help me, don’t let me fall!”

            “But you have to fall, Cas.”  Dean was whispering in his ear.  “You’re an angel, but this version of Heaven is Hell for you. You need to fall, to come down to the Earth where I can protect you.  And I will protect you, angel.  I’ll take care of you, treat you the way an angel is meant to be treated.”

            “D-Dean?”  Castiel’s heart was pounding.  “Dean, please take me back to the roof!”

            “Winchester, what are you doing?” Michael yelled.  “Bring Castiel back!  You want me to beg?  Then I’m begging you!”  Michael fell to his knees, raised his arms imploringly towards Dean.  “Please, give him back to us!”

            The other three immediately dropped to their knees as well.

            “We’re all begging you, Dean!”

            “Please, don’t hurt him!”

            “Please, bring Castiel back!”

            “Listen to them!  They want you so badly,” Dean whispered.  “They’ll even swallow their pride, get down on their knees, and beg for you!  But if I bring you back, they’ll take you again, lock you back in your gilded cage, and you’ll die there.  You’ll fade away until there’s nothing left of that bright, beautiful spirit of yours.  And I won’t let that happen.  I can’t!”

            “Dean, what are you doing?!”  Castiel froze in terror as Dean bent his knees.  Now Castiel’s feet were below the level of the gargoyle where they’d perched.  There was no way he could step back on it, no way to grab hold.  “Dean, please, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not real! Please don’t hurt me!”

            “I won’t hurt you.  I promise.  But it’s time to fly, angel.  To fly, and to fall.”

            “No!”  Surely Dean wouldn’t do it.  He couldn’t actually...  He wouldn’t...!  “Help! Help me, he’s going to jump, please help me!”

            Shouting as the men on the roof raced forward, frantically reaching too late for the two as Dean leaped into the air, his arms still wrapped tightly around Castiel.

            And then they were falling, the whistling of the wind drowning out all other sound save for Dean once more whispering into his ear.  “I won’t hurt you, angel.  Trust me!”

            And from Dean’s pocket, his cell phone restarted the song.

            _“If I could turn back time, if I could find a way?”_


	2. Chapter 18 - Damage Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel meets with the company leaders to determine what is to be done with his wayward bodyguard. Just how dangerous is Dean Winchester?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those new to how reverse chronology works, this chapter takes place in time BEFORE the previous chapter, thus the backwards chapter numbers

            A man’s face floated above the table.  It was a handsome face, symmetrical and masculine, although it wouldn’t be a stretch to call it pretty.  Green eyes with a hint of a smile, a slight quirk to the lips that said “I know something you don’t know.”  But then again, Dean always looked like that.  He always seemed to be somehow amused by some private joke only he got.  And this time, the joke was on them.

            “Cassie?” Gabriel called.  “You alright?”

            Castiel nodded.  “I was cleared by medical.”

            “Not what I meant and you know it.”

            Castiel forced his eyes away from the hologram floating above the table.  “I’m fine.”

            “Let’s talk damage control,” Michael began. “Exactly how much access did he have?”

            “Too much,” Raphael grumbled.  “Especially when it came to our Lead Researcher!”

            Castiel didn’t miss the looks in his direction. Around the big conference table, the company leaders had gathered to discuss their options.  Everyone looked upset.  And Castiel was all too aware of where most of the blame would fall from the moment this meeting had been called.  He lowered his eyes to the table and stayed quiet.

            “Am I reading this right?” Raphael continued. His hand was scrolling through information being projected in front of him.  “Winchester had just recently returned from a trip to Purgatory?  What was a top-level Angeli Quinque bodyguard doing in that godforsaken place?”

            “Looking for his brother.”  Gabriel's face was a mask that hid his emotions.  “This entire incident was set off by a meeting he had with me.  He’d apparently met with some people, learned about the events surrounding the death of Sam Winchester.  Didn’t take it well.”

            “Met with some people?”  Michael was looking hard at Gabriel.  “Hunters?”

            “Probably.  Not many options for getting around us, and Dean specifically mentioned ways to get information without going through Angeli Quinque.  Castiel gave us a name, Benny, of the man who was assisting Winchester today.  Between the security holos and that name, I might be able to find something.  I’ll get my section to start running a search once we’re done here, and spearhead it myself first thing tomorrow.  But if this is Hunters, even I might have trouble finding this bastard!”

            Castiel shuddered.  Hunters!  Had Dean really been so desperate he’d gone to them?

            Michael looked just as worried as Castiel felt.  “Then it’s possible we could be dealing with a Hunter breach!  Why was I not informed?!”

            “Do I need to point out the obvious?” Lucifer called.  “If Winchester wanted to hurt this company, he could have done it at any time!  But from what we can tell, he hasn’t.  Gabe and my security team have been checking everywhere.  There’s been no unauthorized access, no leaks, no missing sums of money or stolen research, nothing!  In other words, no indication he’d joined the Hunters.  But frankly, I’m still not surprised this happened.  We all knew there was an issue with Winchester, especially after what happened that last overload!  And we let it go!  We never should have let things progress to this point in the first place!”

            “Alright!” Michael yelled.  “I was wrong, and you were right, Luc.  After what happened with you, we should have dismissed him immediately!”

            Lucifer pulled out his phone and aimed it at Michael. “Can I please record a holo of that? I want to use it for motivation later.”

            Michael’s face was flushed.  “Luc...?!”

            “Oh, let him have it!” Raphael called.  “He’s the one that got attacked, after all.”

            “It wasn’t a malicious attack!” Castiel exclaimed. “Dean thought he was protecting me!”

            Gabriel snorted.  “By punching Luc in the face?  I’ll admit, I’ve been tempted to do that a time or two, but the difference is that he actually did it.”

            “Yeah, I remember.  Rather vividly, in fact.”  Lucifer was rubbing at his jaw, where the fading mark of a bruise still lingered.  “He’s got a hell of a good right arm, I’ll tell you that!”

            “We’re listening now, Luc,” Michael encouraged, leaning forward in his chair.  “I should have listened to you before, but I’m definitely listening now.  You’re in charge of security.  So tell me.  How dangerous is he?”

            Castiel waved his hand over the terminal in front of him and brought up Dean’s personnel file, noting everyone but Gabriel had done the same.  Lucifer pinched his lips together, considering the question.  “There’s definitely a real danger of his making a second attempt on Castiel,” he began.  “Winchester’s a fighter, but he’s not just a drone that will blindly follow orders.”

            “We’ve already had clear evidence of that,” Raphael reminded.

            Lucifer gave a pained smile and shook his finger at Raphael.  “Now, you see, that there, that attitude?  You’ll get nowhere with that attitude!  This is why people don’t like you, Raph!  You’re so impersonal, so... Grumpy!”

            “Winchester is goal-oriented.  He is extremely loyal, but only to those he believes worthy of that loyalty,” Gabriel said, surprising everyone.  “He has few friends, instead preferring to form close, intense relationships with a limited number of people.  For those people, though, he will go to great lengths, especially if he feels they are in need of his protection.  Winchester will sacrifice himself to protect those under his care and has already proven as much by being severally injured as part of his bodyguard duties in his current assignment.  This makes him an ideal bodyguard.  However, should he decide that someone he is protecting is not worthy of his protection, he will still do a competent job, but take no chances, only doing what is required to complete the job while he requests a transfer.  This is why his record is spotty, with glowing reviews interspaced with frequent transfers.”

            Everyone stared at him, noting the dark, unused terminal in front of him.

            “What?” Gabriel exclaimed.  “I read his performance review in his personnel file before this meeting!  Didn’t you?”

            “No, because I wrote it!” Lucifer grumbled. “I was about to explain it when you had to jump in, Gabe!”

            “You take too long, you drama queen!”

            “Why do I have to put up with this?  How did you even get access to my personnel files?”

            Gabriel gave him a sly smile.

            Lucifer sighed, turning back to Michael. “Anyway, what the superspy said! To answer your question, yes, Winchester is absolutely dangerous.  But he’s only dangerous if he feels the need to protect someone.  That’s precisely why he punched me in the face.  He thought I was hurting Cassandra.”

            “Lucifer’s right,” Castiel said.  “Dean had been upset before that incident, because what happened in the earlier incident made him think Lucifer was a threat to me.”

            Lucifer immediately went still and quiet.

            “Which shouldn’t even be an issue!” Gabriel exclaimed, narrowing his eyes and putting a hand reassuringly on Lucifer’s arm.  “I already told Dean I wouldn’t let it happen again!  We changed the protocols for precisely that reason!

            “None of which has any bearing to this meeting,” Castiel said, not looking at Lucifer.  “But Dean did consider Lucifer a possible threat since that first incident. Dean said that, as my bodyguard, his job was to protect me from all threats, including those coming from within the company.  So when he came around the corner and saw the two of us, well, you know the rest.”

            “No, actually, I don’t,” Raphael corrected. His eyes were still flickering between Lucifer and Castiel.  “I was there at the end, I saw the tapes, and I read the reports.  And I still don’t understand exactly what happened there.  For some reason, Cas was over in Mike’s section, and Luc caught him.  Luc had a hold of Cas’s arm, they were arguing, Winchester came around the corner and almost immediately went after Luc.  The two of you were having some sort of fight?”

            Lucifer grimaced.  “Not exactly a fight, no.  I mean, we were having a disagreement, and I had hold of him, but it wasn’t like I was hurting him!”

            “Actually, you were hurting me,” Castiel mumbled, staring at the table.  “That’s the problem!  Dean was upset because he saw what happened before.  And he attacked you because I was yelling at you to let me go, that you were hurting me.  You just weren’t listening, as usual.”

            Suddenly, everyone was looking at Lucifer.  Lucifer seemed to shrink down in his seat. “What?  I didn’t know I hurt him!  I mean, ok, I knew I bruised him that other incident, but I didn’t mean to, and it’s not like I bruised him the day Winchester hit me!”

            “Yes, you did.”  Castiel held up his arm and drew back his sleeve, revealing the fading marks on his forearm.  “You’ve bruised me pretty much every time you’ve gotten excited about something and grabbed hold of my arm like that.  That’s why I yell at you to let go of me every time you do it!  You’ve been leaving marks on me for years!”

            “Well, I didn’t know that!  You should have told me!”

            “I did tell you.”

            “When?!”

            “Multiple times, Lucifer, up to and including that day.” Castiel forced himself to look up and glower at Lucifer.  “You get upset and start dragging me off, and you don’t know your own strength!  That is why Dean came running around the corner, because I was yelling at you that you were hurting me!  Why did you think he ran over and punched you?”

            “Well, I’m sorry!”  Lucifer crossed his arms defensively across his chest and slumped. “Still doesn’t mean it’s ok for him to hit me!”

            “No one is disputing that!” Michael snapped. “The only reason I didn’t have him escorted from the building is because Castiel insisted it was a misunderstanding and requested probation for him!”

            “And we all know how that turned out,” Raphael sighed.

            “Yes, let’s talk about that!” Lucifer agreed. “Are we all going to try to blame this latest bit of Winchester’s shenanigans on me, too?”

            “No, that one’s all on Cassie,” Gabriel announced. “When Dean confronted me with what he knew about Sammy, well, I wasn’t going to deny it.  But Cassie’s the one who got him in to see me in the first place, wanting to talk about decreasing his security protocols.  Now, hindsight is twenty-twenty, but it seems to me as though Dean had this little scheme planned out from the start!  You got something you want to tell us, Cassie?”

            Castiel took a deep breath.  “What Gabriel said, the things that Lucifer put into Dean’s personnel file?  That’s all very true.  But Dean, he’s not stable.  I know that he’d attacked Lucifer because of the earlier incident, and it’s his job to protect me.  But what I didn’t know until now was that Dean Winchester is, well, delusional.”

            “How so?”  Raphael’s voice was sharp.

            Castiel licked at his lips anxiously. “He...  Dean believed that he and I...  He saw our relationship as being more than an employer and a bodyguard. He was under the impression that we were in a, um, personal relationship.”

            Confused looks circled the table.  “What kind of relationship?” Gabriel wanted to know.

            Castiel cringed.  “A, um, romantic relationship?  He, um, believed that the two of us, well, that we’d been, um...”

            “Dean believed that he was in a sexual relationship with you?!”  Gabriel’s eyebrows had reached his hairline.

            “Holy shit, Gabe, not everything is about sex, ok?!” Lucifer exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

            “No, wait,” Michael called.  He was looking hard at Castiel.  “Cas?  That couldn’t be...  Is it true?!”

            Castiel nodded, blushing.  “Today, when he tried to take me away?  It had nothing to do with Purgatory, Hunters, or anything at all to do with the company.  He didn’t want leverage or access, he wanted me!  And he wasn’t trying to hurt me...”

            “I wasn’t, either!”

            “We know, Luc, now shut up and let him talk!”

            “You are not the boss of me, Gabe!”

            Michael slammed a fist on the table, and the two quieted, settling for giving each other withering glances.

            “Did Winchester say this, that he believed the two of you were in a sexual relationship?” Raphael asked, undisturbed.

            Castiel nodded again.  “He had a fairly, um, descriptive account of it.  And I couldn’t convince him it wasn’t real!”

            Michael was shaking his head in disbelief.  “So when you denied it, he started threatening you?”

            “He never threatened me!  He tried to convince me that his version of things was the truth.  When that didn’t work, he tried to get me to come with him, saying he could prove it. Then he started talking about me being in danger, that the four of you were using me and that he needed to get me out of here.  He actually seemed convinced that I’d asked him to get me out!  And that was when...”  He swallowed.  “When I still refused to go with him, he pulled a phaser on me.”

            “Oh, that’s not threatening at all!” Lucifer grumbled.  “All I did was drag him by the arm and I’m the devil himself, but this asshole pulls a phaser, and...!”

            “Enough, Luc!” Michael yelled.  “We’re here to focus on Winchester, and what we need to do to protect ourselves and our interests!”

            “Well, that much is simple!” Lucifer exclaimed. He made a chopping motion with his hand, dismissing Dean’s personnel file.  “We find that bastard, and we shoot him in the head, preferably twice to make sure! Problem solved.  Hey, great meeting!”

            “You can’t be serious!” Castiel yelled.

            “Actually, that sounds like a very good idea to me,” Gabriel offered.  “He’s already tried to steal Cassie once...”

            “My name is Castiel!”

            “...And he very nearly succeeded!  The next time, he could take him and be gone!  He’s already attacked Luc because he’s an asshole who needs to learn to keep his hands to himself...”

            “Blow me, Gabe!”

            “...But now he believes that we’re all a threat! That whole business of believing that Cas asked him to get him out?  That seems ominous given that Winchester will go to great lengths to protect those he cares about.  If he honestly believes that Cas himself wants to get away from the company, then he’s going to be desperate to make it happen.  Let’s face it.  Winchester is going to make another attempt to take Cas!  It’s just a matter of time!”

            That quieted the table.  “He won’t hurt me,” Castiel said quietly.

            “But he will take you,” Michael countered.  He sighed.  “I think Luc’s right.  Like Gabe said, Winchester’s going to do whatever he feels is necessary to get Cas. We need to be willing to do the same to protect him.”

            “You want to shoot Dean?!” Castiel exclaimed.

            “If necessary?”  Michael nodded.  “Yes.”

            “I agree,” Raphael said.

            “I absolutely agree!” Lucifer added.

            “I’m sorry, Cas, but I agree, too,” Gabriel sighed. “No matter what, we cannot let him take you again.  And if he gets the chance, we all know he’ll try!”

            “He cannot have that chance,” Michael insisted. His face was serious as he met everyone’s eyes.  “We are all in agreement that Winchester absolutely cannot be given the opportunity to take Castiel?”  When every head but Castiel’s nodded, Michael nodded as well.  “Then we need to make plans to protect him.”

            “This is crazy!” Castiel exclaimed.  “He’s my bodyguard!  We’re actually going to sit here and plan to shoot my bodyguard?!”

            “Cas, I know you’re close to him,” Lucifer sighed. “But Winchester is dangerous.  And I, for one, will do whatever it takes to protect you!”

            “We all will,” Raphael agreed.

            “So we’ll just put Dean down like a dog?!”  Castiel abruptly stood up.  “I need some air.”

            Gabriel rolled his eyes.  “Up to the roof again?  Right back to old habits!”

            “Cas, it’s freezing,” Michael warned.  He was rubbing at his temples.  “At least put your coat on!”

            “I’ve got my trench coat.  But I can’t talk about this anymore, and you don’t need me now anyway. It’s obvious my opinion isn’t required or welcomed.  So please excuse me.”

            No one said anything as Castiel stormed out. Outside the meeting room, a guard was waiting to take him back to his section.  Castiel nodded his thanks and headed up the stairs to the roof. 

            His heart was pounding.  Dean Winchester, he knew, was capable of extreme levels of violence.  What he’d done in the restaurant was proof enough of that!  But even when Dean had pressed his weapon into Castiel’s side today and forced him outside, Castiel just couldn’t believe that Dean really intended to hurt him.  Whatever wiring had gone wrong in Dean’s head, Castiel knew that Dean cared about him. What would have happened if Dean had succeeded, had managed to take him away?  What was this “proof” of a non-existent relationship that he claimed to have?  And what would have happened when that “proof” was debunked, and Dean was forced to face the fact that there never had been any sort of personal relationship between them other than that of a bodyguard and his client?

            Castiel shuddered.  He didn’t want to know.

            Michael had been right.  It was freezing on the roof.  He was wearing his trench coat, but the frigid air whipped through it, pierced the suit he was wearing, and chilled him to the bone.  He wouldn’t be able to stay out here long.  Oh well.  He couldn’t hide out here forever.  He knew he’d have to go back in and face whatever plans the others had made. But the truth of his situation was starting to sink in.  Castiel was once again without a capable bodyguard.  That meant he wouldn’t be permitted to leave the building.  He’d be shut away again, with only the rooftop as a poor substitute for the freedom of movement he’d gotten accustomed to with Dean.  _Dammit, Dean!_ he thought bitterly.  _We had such a good thing!  You were the perfect bodyguard for me.  I could be myself around you, and you never judged me or laughed at me or did any of the things that made all the others before you not work out for long.  Why oh why did you have to ruin it?!_

            _“If I could turn back time, if I could find a way?  I’d take back those words that hurt you, and you’d stay!”_

            Somewhere, Cher was singing.  That song.  It reminded him so much of Dean for some reason...  Ah, that’s right.  It was Dean’s ringtone on his phone.  Any time Dean called him, Castiel would hear that song.  It was Dean’s favorite song, wasn’t it?  No, that wasn’t quite right.  There was something about it, some inside joke between the two of them. But now, Castiel was so upset that he couldn’t remember it.  Didn’t matter.  It’s not like his phone was ringing now.

            No, his phone wasn’t ringing now.

            So why was he hearing that song?

            Confused, Castiel moved out, walking around the roof towards the sound of the music.  He turned a corner, and saw a figure standing on the edge at the roof, just beneath the flagpole bearing the Angeli Quinque banner.  It was a man, wearing the dark suit provided to all the high-level Angeli Quinque security staff, mostly covered with a heavy winter overcoat. The hood of the coat was down despite the cold, revealing a head of short-cropped dark hair.  The man had his back to Castiel and seemed to be messing with something on his wrist, probably a smartwatch.  Castiel frowned.  “Um, excuse me?” he called.  “You’re not supposed to be up here!”

            “Yeah, I’m not supposed to do a lot of things I did today, Cas.”

            Castiel sucked in his breath.  “Dean?!  How did you get up here?  How did you even get into my section?!  Lucifer surely revoked your security after what you did!”

            “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  And there’s also a buddy of mine still working security here who owed me a favor.  I told him I forgot some stuff, said I’d ask someone else to let me back out, and he let me in.”  The man looked back and gave him a sad smile.  Sure enough, it was Dean Winchester.  His former bodyguard had somehow gotten into the building, past all of Lucifer’s vaunted security, and made it clear up to the roof with absolutely no one the wiser.  Now Dean was standing on the edge of the roof...  No, he was _off_ the edge of the roof.  He was out on the corner piece, standing on the long neck of the gargoyle figurine that projected from each corner of the roof! No.  Dean couldn’t jump!  Castiel couldn’t lose another person he cared about.  He had to do something!

            Castiel moved closer.  “Dean?  What are you doing?”

            “Same thing you do when you come up here, Cas. Thinking.”

            “About what?”  Castiel kept moving closer, trying to gauge the distance between Dean and the roof.  How could he get Dean back without accidentally startling him, knocking him off of his precipitous footing and sending him to his death far below?

            “Lots of things.  Mostly you.”  Dean’s eyes seemed to be studying the drop below him.  “You told me that sometimes, when things were really bad for you? You’d come out here and look down. And you’d think about how easy it would be to just let go, fall forward and let gravity take its course.”  He nodded.  “You’re right.  It really would be easy, wouldn’t it?”

            “Dean?”  Castiel was almost in grabbing distance.  “Please don’t jump!  I want you to come back up here and talk to me.  Will you do that?”

            Cher was still singing.  Apparently, Dean was playing the song on his mobile.  To Castiel’s alarm, one knee was bending slightly, Dean actually dancing a little to the music while standing on the neck of a stone gargoyle thirty stories above the ground.  Castiel moved until he could put one foot on the ridge around the edge of the roof.  Then he extended a hand to Dean.  “Dean, please.  Take my hand? I need you to come back!  Please, Dean!”

            Dean looked up, saw him, and smiled.  And to Castiel’s great relief, Dean took his offered hand.  Castiel smiled back, tightening his grip.  Dean moved forward, stepping onto the ledge.  Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.

            But Dean suddenly yanked hard on his hand, and Castiel found himself jerked forward.  He stumbled over the ledge, nearly falling.  But Dean still had hold of him.  His former bodyguard wrapped his right arm around Castiel, lifting and turning him.  And suddenly there was nothing under Castiel’s feet.  He gasped in alarm.  “Dean!”

            “It’s ok, angel,” Dean soothed.  “I’ve got you.”

            Castiel called frantically for help.  But there was nothing, nothing he could do to protect himself.


	3. Chapter 17 - Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas meet up with Gabriel and learn some startling truths

            Castiel paused in the doorway of the darkened room, raising a hand to alert Dean. Gabriel was obviously hard at work. He was lying back in his chair, his eyes fixed on the holographs before him, hands scrolling rapidly through them. The monitoring lights on his chair blinked and flashed, snaking their way up and down the cables leading to the jack in Gabriel’s temple and traveling all the way into the computer banks he was jacked into.  Before him, multiple holos of data scrolled, moving too quickly to be read by ordinary means.

            “Be right with you, boys, oh!”

            Gabriel hadn’t spoken.  Instead, the voice had come through the speakers.  Today, Gabriel had apparently chosen to use the voice of a breathy female, with the final “oh!” spoken as if in the throes of passion.

            “Gabe gets a little too into his work,” Dean grumbled.

            “Well, he did say that searching the deep networks was better than sex,” Castiel offered.

            “How would he even know?”

            “He spends his days on the internet, Dean.  He’s probably got the biggest collection of pornography on the planet. Although, he did mention your own collection was fairly impressive as well?”

            Dean rolled his eyes.  Then he went back to watching Gabriel.  Castiel smiled.  Dean, it appeared, still hadn’t grown used to the sight of an Angeli Quinque Angel at work. His reaction was fairly typical of someone watching the process.  Dean’s eyes seemed fascinated, watching the way the exposed portions of golden skin on Gabriel’s face, neck and hands seemed to shimmer and glisten, taking on a more metallic tone the longer Gabriel continued to work.  Already, Gabriel appeared to be a golden statue, the nanites under his skin working to cool his body, dispersing the heat from the powerful processors in his brain.  Most of his irises had been eclipsed.  The telltale blue-white electric glow would soon be the only color visible in his eyes when the Angel reached his capacity.

            Sure enough, the last of the amber irises changed to glowing neon blue, and the familiar capacity chimes sounded.  Gabriel took a deep breath.  The lights on the cables slowed, dimmed, and went out.  The holographic data vanished, switching over to the familiar rotating Angeli Quinque logo as the lights in the room came up.  “Session end,” a robot voice called.  “Well done, Angel Gabriel.”

            “Hey, you know it!”  Gabriel reached up and pulled the jack out of the port in his plate.  His chair was moving automatically, raising him to a seated position in front of his holographic projectors.  He turned to his visitors, smiling as he winked one glowing eye. “Just another day’s work, right, Cassie?”

            “You’re the greatest as usual, Gabriel,” Castiel sighed.  “Dean wanted to speak with you.  Do you mind?”

            A golden hand beckoned them forward.  “Make yourselves at home!  Just have a seat in the lounge there and I’ll come join you in a moment.  I need some brain fuel.  You boys want a drink, maybe a snack?”

            “No thank you.”

            “I’m good, Gabe, thanks.”

            Gabriel climbed out of his chair, stretched, and leaned backwards, moaning as his back popped.  “Oooh, yeah! Long session today.”

            “You should get out more, Gabriel,” Castiel encouraged, moving with Dean to sit in one of the chairs in the reception area.  “It’s a beautiful day, and Dean and I just got back from a walk.”

            Gabriel cocked an eyebrow at Dean.  “Luc know you took him out again, Dean-o?”

            “I know the protocols, ok, Gabe?” Dean grumbled.

            “Yeah, but considering what happened a few days ago, I’m surprised you’re allowed to take him out of the building!”

            “I’m not!”  Dean’s face was set in a deep scowl now.  “Lucifer had four guys with us.  Cas barely relaxed the entire time.  What’s the point of my taking him out if he can’t enjoy it?!”

            “I did enjoy it, a bit,” Castiel defended.  “It was warmer today, and the sun was shining.  Lucifer’s men were distracting, yes, especially one of them. But the sun and fresh air were still somewhat relaxing?”

            “Somewhat relaxing!  See what I mean?” Dean exclaimed.  “That’s why we came to talk to you, Gabe.  We need your help here.”

            Gabriel poured himself a glass of apricot nectar.  He already had one of his familiar lollipops tucked behind one ear. In his public appearances, Gabriel liked to say he needed the extra glucose because it helped restore what he used while working.  Castiel had his doubts.  Gabriel had a sweet tooth that he frequently indulged.

            The Angel sipped at his sweet beverage now as he took a seat, facing his guests.  “All ears, Dean-o!  What can I do you for?”

            “Is there anything you can do to lessen the restrictions on Cas?  He’s basically being punished because of me!”

            “And to be perfectly honest, you’re lucky you even still have a job, Dean.” Gabriel’s face had lost all humor. “Cassie and I got you this probation, and it’s only because you’re the best bodyguard he’s ever had.  We’re lucky we got you that much!  After you punched Lucifer in the face?!”

            “Extenuating circumstances, Gabe, which I have detailed in triplicate!”

            “Which is the only reason you still have a job.  Frankly, I’m surprised Luc even lets you take Cas out while you’re on probation!  Getting any more restrictions lifted will take an act of God!”

            “So there’s nothing you can do?”

            “Afraid not.”

            “I get it.”  Dean sighed. “Well it was worth a try.  There is one other thing.”

            “And what’s that?”

            “My brother.”  Dean looked at his hands, ignoring the surprised look Castiel was giving him. “I know, as much as I wish you could, that you can’t actually help with Cas.  I’m the one who messed that up, and now I gotta prove myself.  And it’s bullshit, because Cas is the one who’s gonna suffer most for it!  But talking to you about that was actually just my excuse to get him to bring me in here. What I really need to talk to you about is Sammy.”

            “Ah.”  Gabriel leaned back in his chair and sipped again at his drink.  “Well, that’s a real complicated situation.”

            “No, Gabe, actually it isn’t.  I know, alright?”

            Castiel shot his bodyguard another look.  Gabriel narrowed his glowing eyes, cocking his head to the side as he studied Dean.  “Know what?”

            “I know it was you, Gabriel!  Sammy was part of Heaven’s security staff, but primarily, he was your bodyguard!  He’s the one who went with you every time you went off-site.  And you’re the one who sent him on that mission!”

            The accusation was the last thing Castiel had ever expected to hear.  “Dean, that can’t be right!  You came to Heaven in the first place because you wanted to work with him, remember?  And even though you were assigned to me instead, this whole time, Gabriel’s been helping you find out what happened to your brother!  How can you possibly think he’s the one who sent Sam away in the first place?!”

            “Because there are still ways to do internet searches that don’t go through Angeli Quinque!”  Dean reached into a pocket and produced a data chip.  He held it up, displaying it to Gabriel.  “Getting this was anything but easy.  It required a lot of money, a lot of cooperation, and a lot of favors. And that meant it took time, too! The time factor was what you were supposed to help with, Gabe.  But instead, you made it even harder!  You covered your tracks, buried information under passcodes and restrictions that were damned near impossible to get through.  And ironically, that’s what gave you away.  Because why would you do that, Gabe?  It didn’t make any sense, unless it was all to cover up the fact that it was you all along!  And once I figured that out, I got it.  It’s all there, all the shit you pulled so that Sammy would end up going on that mission that got him killed.  The proof is in the pudding!”

            The data chip landed on the coffee table between the chairs with a small sound, but it seemed very loud.  Castiel stared hard at it.  Then he regarded the silent Angel.  “Gabriel?” he asked.  “Is this true?  Did you really send Sam Winchester on the mission that got him killed?!”

            Gabriel sighed.  “It’s complicated, Cas, despite what Dean thinks.  Sammy stumbled over some things he shouldn’t have.  I covered for him as best as I could, but he wouldn’t let it go. He kept asking questions, poking his nose where it didn’t belong, digging deeper and deeper until it was finally noticed.  That mission, I knew it would be tough, but I don’t do the security stuff, alright?  I really thought Sammy would just go, learn his lesson, and maybe even come back, be my bodyguard again!”  He shook his head.  “That’s not what happened.  And for what it's worth, Dean?  Losing him really did crush me.”

            Castiel felt faint.  “Gabriel, I don’t understand!  What could he possibly have found that was worth sending him out on a suicide mission to protect?!”

            “That’s what I’d like to know, too!” Dean called.  “It’s all I really want to know right now.  Because I get why you didn’t want me to find out.  As soon as I learned you were behind it, it was pretty damned obvious why you tried to keep me from finding out that it was you all along! But the one thing I was never able to find out was why.  Why, Gabe? Sammy believed in this company. And he loved working for you!  He talked all the time about how amazing you were, how proud he was to be working with Angel Gabriel and what a great all-around awesome guy you were!  I came here specifically wanting to work for you, because he had me convinced you were the one person in Angeli Quinque that could be trusted.  How the hell could you betray him like that?!  Why, Gabriel?!”

            “It was the hardest thing I have ever done.”  Gabriel’s voice was soft.  “I’d give damned near anything to change it, Dean.  And what I told you at his funeral was true.  I loved him like a brother.  But I said it before, and I’ll say it again – It’s complicated.” 

            “So, what, do I need to worry about being the next one sent out on a suicide mission now?!  Just one more no-good veteran out of the way, right?  Do the whole world a favor!”

            “It’s got nothing to do with the two of you being vets!”

            “Then what does it have to do with, Gabe?!”

            Gabriel rubbed at his glowing eyes, his golden skin darkening a bit as his face became flushed.  “Dean, someday I would love to sit down with you, have a long talk about Sammy, and tell you everything, but I can’t!  You know as well as anyone about the kinds of things we deal with at Angeli Quinque, alright? Huis is settling down now, but there’s always another country or group just like them waiting right around the corner! Hell, I can’t even tell you the details about what I was doing when you walked in here just now!  This company, it’s not beholden to any single nation or governing body.  The Heaven building is considered sovereign territory precisely because we have to remain neutral in global affairs.  So of course a certain level of secrecy is expected!  You knew that when you signed on for this job, and so did Sammy!”

            “Gabriel, this is his brother we’re talking about!” Castiel exclaimed. “Doesn’t Dean have a right to know what happened to his brother?”

            “Unfortunately, in the grand scheme of things?  No.”

            “You son of a bitch!” Dean growled.  To Castiel’s alarm, his bodyguard had clenched his fists and hunched his shoulders, as though preparing to launch himself at the golden figure across from them.  “You led me on, let me believe you were helping me, and the whole time, you knew exactly what had happened to Sammy!  And now you’re not even going to have the decency to tell me why?!”

            Gabriel’s glowing eyes were cool as he gazed at Dean.  “I’m sorry, Dean.  But the truth is, as much as I like you and I really did like Sammy?  That information is classified.”

            Castiel froze, his eyes locked on Dean.  If Dean attacked Gabriel, he knew, Dean wouldn’t have to worry about being the next one sent out on a suicide mission.  This time, security would likely shoot him down on the spot!  But Dean somehow held himself in check.  “Fine!” the bodyguard snarled between clenched teeth. “At least I finally got to see your true colors, Gabriel.  You may be an Angeli Quinque Angel, but the truth is you’re nothing more than a lying, manipulative snake in the grass!”

            Castiel saw Gabriel flinch, although he never changed expression.  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Dean,” Gabriel said quietly. “I’m not lying when I tell you that I really did love Sammy.  He was more than a bodyguard, Dean, he was my friend, the only real friend I’ve ever had. I’m sorry about what happened to him.”

            Dean shook his head in disgust.  “Go to hell, Gabe,” he said sadly.  “Cas, can we get out of here, please?”

            Castiel immediately got to his feet.

            “Cas?” Gabriel called.  “Can I speak to you alone, just for a moment?”

            Dean narrowed his eyes at him in suspicion.  But when Castiel nodded, Dean headed outside, stopping just outside the door. There, he took up his post, waiting for his charge.

            Gabriel moved closer to Castiel and spoke in a low voice.  “Cas, I’m worried about you being alone with him.  While it’s good to see you back to normal, at the same time, your condition makes you extremely vulnerable.  It’s so easy to manipulate you, lead you astray!  That’s why you need a full-time bodyguard in the first place!  And I’m not so sure that Dean’s entirely stable right now.  He’s been acting weird since he got back, and now this?”  The Angel shook his head, looking distressed. “For a moment there, I really thought he was going to go after me the way he did Luc!”

            “Yeah, me too,” Castiel admitted.  “If he’d done that, it would have been the end of him for sure!  But Dean wouldn’t hurt me.  All this time he’s cared for me, he’s never done anything that indicated he was any threat to me.  And you know he was only trying to protect me when he went after Lucifer!”

            “Yeah, that’s why I backed him with you.  Just be careful.”  The golden face crinkled in a smile.  “After all, my primary job is to support you, right?”

            Castiel groaned.  “I am never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

            “Not so long as you live!”  Rising, Gabriel pulled him into a rare hug.  “You just be careful, Cassie.  You’ve been through so much lately!  And something just seems a bit off about Dean.”

            “Yeah, I noticed that, too.  I’ll be careful, and if anything seems weird, I’ll tell you first.”

            “Tell Luc first, then me.”

            “Right.”

            Gabriel was looking towards Dean now, a wistful expression on his face. “Dean’s a lot like Sammy was,” he said quietly.  “Same passion, same dedication and drive.”

            Castiel looked at him in sympathy.  “You still miss him?”

            “Every damned day.”

            Patting Gabriel on the back, Castiel pulled away and headed out to join Dean.

            Dean didn’t say anything as they left Gabriel’s section.  Castiel walked quietly next to him, considering.  Dean was upset.  As a friend, Castiel knew he should say something, try to comfort Dean in some way.  Unfortunately, he had no idea what to say.  His brother was dead, and apparently, that was at least partially Gabriel’s fault.  Castiel’s head was still reeling over the revelation.  What was the etiquette on that?

            Castiel was so lost in his thoughts that it wasn’t until they were walking towards the lobby that he registered where they were.  He stopped, frowning.  “Dean?  We’re on the ground floor.”

            “Yeah.  We’re going back out.”

            “No, we’re not!  Dean, come on, I know you’re upset, but you can’t take me back out.  I understand if you need to take a walk, clear your head. Just take me back up to my lab and then take all the time you need.”  He frowned. “Dean, what are you doing?”

            Dean had his arm and was pulling on him, bringing Castiel back into the men’s room. Dean did a quick check of the stalls, made certain they were alone, and then moved to stand close to Castiel.  “Ok, that’s enough,” he said, his voice low. “No more games, Cas.  We’ve finally got proof now that Gabe can’t be trusted.  It’s time.” To Castiel’s surprise, Dean reached up and gently stroked his cheek.  “I’ve got it all set up, angel.  My friends have transportation arranged, safe houses along the way to get us to that place I told you about, in Purgatory?  If we go right now, we can be there in a few days.  Then we can be together!”

            “Dean?”  Castiel was completely confused.  “Purgatory?! Wh-what are you talking about?!”

            “I’m talking about you and me, getting the hell away to start a real life together!  No more Angeli Quinque, no more constantly needing a bodyguard, no more lab!  Just you and me, free to be normal people, just like you wanted!  Because I finally figured it out.  And it’s what I want, too.”  Dean stepped closer, crowding Castiel to take Castiel’s head in his hands. The green eyes were soft and emotional. “I love you, angel.  I love you, and I swear, I’m getting you out of here!”

            “Dean?  I don’t understand.”

            Dean scoffed.  “What do you mean, you don’t understand?  Cas, I just told you that I loved you, too!”

            “Too?  But Dean, I don’t love you!”

            Dean flinch as though he’d been struck.  “Cas, what’s wrong?  Why are you acting like this?  Don’t you remember the cabin?  You and me, making love night and day, telling each other all our hopes and dreams...”

            “Making love?!” Castiel sputtered.  He quickly moved back, stepping away from Dean.  “Dean, we went to the cabin, yes, but that was a working retreat!  I had another one of my episodes and you took me out there to recover.  While I was there, I was supposed to focus on just one project.  The generator for the Epsilon Project, that the Huis delegates wanted?  I wanted to do some field tests with it while we were there!”

            Dean snorted.  “Cas, the only thing you were field testing was how many different positions we could manage!”

            This was getting out of hand.  “I honestly think that I would remember it if I let someone bugger me, Dean!”

            And now Dean smiled.  “Actually, you were on top, Cas.  You initiated the whole thing!  I won’t lie and say I didn’t encourage you, but I was still surprised as hell!  You slammed me down on that bed, tore my clothes off so fast you ripped my shirt, and your mouth...!”

            “Dean, stop it!” Castiel hissed.  His cheeks were burning.  “You’re crazy!  None of that happened, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

            Dean paled.  Then his cheeks flushed.  He leaned forward and kissed Castiel.

            Castiel shoved him away.  “Stop it, what are you doing?!  Get off of me!”

            Castiel tried to push past Dean and go, but Dean caught him.  “Cas, please!  I don’t know what’s wrong with you, angel, but we gotta go, alright?  If we don’t get out of here tonight, I have no idea when we’ll get another chance!”

            “Dean, you are out of your mind!”  Castiel gave his insane bodyguard another shove.  “I am not going anywhere with you!  I’m sorry about your brother, but it’s painfully clear that the stress of losing him has seriously affected your mind!”

            Dean’s face went blank.  “They did something to you, didn’t they?  Michael and the others!  They, I don’t know, brainwashed you somehow!”

            “No one brainwashed me, Dean,” Castiel said patiently.  “What you believe just isn’t true!”

            Dean leaned close again.  “I can prove it!”

            “How?!  Dean, we never...!”

            “Listen to me!” Dean hissed.  “Just come with me, let me show you proof of what happened, who you really are.  Then, if you still don’t believe me, I’ll bring you right back to Heaven!”

            “No, Dean.”

            “Cas, please, if you’ll only...!”

            “I said no!”  Castiel angrily shoved his bodyguard away.  “There isn’t any proof, because there isn’t any relationship!  Now this has gone far enough!  This conversation is over.  I am going back up to my lab, and I am getting to work.  Please take me back up there.  Then you can decide if you want to report to Lucifer for re-assignment, or simply turn in your resignation.  Because it’s very clear right now that you are not fit to care for me!”

            “Dammit, Cas!” Dean hissed.  “Has it never occurred to you to wonder why it is that you need some to care for you at all?!  You’re never allowed to make choices on your own or do what you want to do.  They direct everything you do!  Those four, they lock you in your section and have bodyguards follow you around...”

            “I think the incident in the restaurant proves the wisdom of that!”

            “This isn’t just about your personal safety, alright?!  I can keep you safe, but this is more than that!  All your life, it’s been orders and commands!  Angeli Quinque has done nothing but use and abuse you from day one!  And this condition of yours?  It’s not nearly as bad as you think it is, because after a week alone with me in the cabin, you were doing all kinds of things for yourself!  Don’t you get it, Cas?  This is what I’ve been trying to teach you, that there is more to life than your lab!”  He took Castiel’s shoulders and gave him a shake.  “You are in danger here, Cas!  What happened with Lucifer?  That’s happened before, and it’s going to happen again!  Even if Gabriel keeps his promise, which I don’t believe for one moment after no one kept Luc from going after you again this last time?  Angeli Quinque, Michael and the other three are going to keep using you until you’re used up!”

            “Well, that’s an overly dramatic assessment,” Castiel huffed.  “Who told you that?”

            “You did,” Dean announced.  “When you asked me to get you out of this!”  Dean sandwiched one of Castiel’s hands between his own, looking hopefully at him. “Please, Cas!  Even if for some reason you can’t remember loving me, I’m still your bodyguard!  My job is to protect you, so let me do it!”

            “Dean?”  Castiel’s voice was calm as he jerked his hand away.  “Take your hands off of me.  Take me back to my section, and then leave me alone and go.  I want nothing more to do with you.”

            Sudden pain flashed in the green eyes.  “Is that it, then?  That’s all you have to say?”

            “Yes, Dean.  That’s all I have to say.”

            Dean’s shoulders slumped.  He nodded. “Alright.  If this is how it’s got to be, then so be it.”

            Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.  His stomach was churning, hating the hurt, lost look on the face of the man who had risked his life to protect him.  “Thank you, Dean.  I really do appreciate all you’ve done, how you’ve protected me all this time.  I wish this could have ended differently!”

            “Yeah, me too.  But don’t worry, angel.  My job is to protect you, and by God, that’s what I’m going to do.  Even if it means I need to protect you from yourself!”

            Dean took his arm.  Then something hard was jamming into Castiel’s ribs.  He looked down and blinked in surprise at the gleam of what could only be Dean’s weapon pressed into his side.  “D-Dean?!”

            Dean’s grip was firm on his arm.  “Just start walking.  I won’t hurt you, angel, just walk, alright?”

            Castiel managed to start moving.  He felt numb as they walked through the lobby, moving past the oblivious security guards who simply waved absently at them.  “Where are you taking me?” he managed.

            “My friend Benny’s outside with the car.  Just relax.  It’ll be alright.”

            It was anything but alright.  Castiel’s heart pounded.  He stumbled as he walked, the weapon seeming to burn into him where it pressed against his side.  _“Lucifer!  Help me! My bodyguard’s gone insane!  He’s stealing me!”_

_“Where are you?!”_

_“The lobby.  Dean’s got a phaser and he’s taking me outside.  There’s a car, he’s taking me away, please!”_

_“Help is on the way, just hang on!”_

            “Come on, angel, just a bit further!”

            The car was right there, hovering at the curb and marked with the logo of the Angeli Quinque fleet.  It looked like the driver was either picking up something or someone, or dropping off.  No different than the dozens of company hover cars that came and went just like it every day. No one paid it any attention.  The driver was a large man Castiel didn’t recognize, wearing an Angeli Quinque uniform and looking bored, just like every other driver.  But he exchanged a glance and a nod with Dean as they approached.

            A few more steps, and Castiel would be in the car.

            _“Lucifer, please, he’s taking me!”_

_“We’re here!”_

            Sudden movement, a powerful body slamming into Dean, knocking the surprised bodyguard forward.  Hands grabbed Castiel, dragged him back.  Castiel breathed a sigh of relief, letting himself be pulled back into the safety of the lobby.  Lucifer’s men had come to protect him.

            Outside, Dean was looking frantically after him, even as he struggled with the Angeli Quinque security.  Armed, uniformed security guards were racing through the lobby of the Heaven building, shouting.  The alarm sounded, lights flashing to alert of security lockdown.  The driver of Dean’s car had leaned over, reaching out to drag Dean backwards and head-first through the passenger side window, the stabilizers of his vehicle fighting to keep the car upright.  Dean’s feet were sticking out, half of his body still out of the car when the driver stomped on the accelerator and the car launched forward, scattering security guards and pedestrians slow to react.  It was the last thing Castiel saw before the armored metal barriers slammed shut.

            Then Lucifer was there, putting his arms protectively around Castiel.  “I’m here, Cas!  I’ve got you.”

            Castiel clung to him.  “Thank you!” He sighed in relief, finally feeling safe as Lucifer started walking, leading him deeper into the building towards the elevators.  He was shaking so hard he had to cling to Lucifer for support.  “Please don’t leave me!”

            “I won’t, brother.”  Lucifer was so gentle, supporting him as he stumbled, even shielding Castiel’s face from curious onlookers.  “Shh, it’s alright,” he soothed.  “I’m right here.”

            _“Castiel!”_

_“I’m safe, Michael.  Lucifer’s got me.”_

_“I’m bringing him on the elevator now,”_ Lucifer sent as the doors closed.  _“He’s scared to death, shaking like a leaf, but doesn’t seem injured.”_

_“Well done, Luc!   Thank you.”_

_“No problem.”_  Lucifer’s arms were tight around Castiel, his face set in a frown. _“Mike, that was way too close!  There was a hover car and driver right outside, disguised as one of ours.  And my security team said it was souped up.  It outran all of ours and then somehow vanished off the radar!  If Winchester had gotten Cas into that car...?”_

_“I’m aware.  Luc, bring him to medical, and have the handlers check him out per protocol. Then as soon as he’s cleared and the security lockdown is lifted, I want everyone at the meeting table!  Raph and Gabe are already on their way.”_

_“You got it.”_

Castiel winced. _“I don’t need medical, I...”_

_“Now, Castiel!”_

            Lucifer frowned.  _“Chill, Mikey, I’ll get him there!”_

 _“Mike, you need to calm down!”_   Raphael’s voice was sharp. _“We all had a bad scare, but Cas is terrified and you need to stop yelling at him!”_

 _“For real, Mike!”_ Gabriel agreed. _“Luc will make sure he’s seen.”_

            Michael paused.  His voice sounded chagrined.  _“Yes, of course.  I’ll control my emotions.  Forgive me, Cas.”_

 _“It’s alright.”_   It wasn’t alright.  But at least now, Castiel was safe.

            Lucifer was already moving, his arm around Castiel, heading towards the next elevator.  “I know you hate medical, Cas, but just get it done and get it over with, alright? I’ll stay right with you the whole time. Will that help?”

            Castiel nodded, relaxing a little.  “Alright.”  Michael was right, of course.  He needed checked.  Lucifer’s presence would be a huge help.  Still, as much as he hated being examined by the handlers, he actually dreaded the meeting more.  Someway, somehow, Castiel was going to have to explain this one.  Unfortunately, he had no idea how he was going to do that.


	4. Chapter 16 - A Walk In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes Cas for a therapeutic walk, but doesn't care for Lucifer's extra security precautions

            “And just where do you think you’re going?”

            Castiel cringed, hearing the note of rebuke in his bodyguard’s voice.  “The lab.  The indicator’s on, so I can head in.  I need to work on...”

            Dean made tsking sounds.  “Cas, it’s time for you to let that big nerdy brain of yours have a rest and get a little exercise!  Now, by my watch, it has been two days, 5 hours since you last went on a recreational walk.  Time to change that!”

            “A walk?”  Castiel turned, frowning in confusion at his bodyguard.  “I know I have to stop and exercise, but can’t I just go to the roof?”

            “No. We’re going for a walk to the park.”

            Castiel regarded him doubtfully.  “Is Lucifer going to let you take me outside?”

            “With added security, yes.”  Dean was making the sort of face he might make after biting into an apple and finding half a worm.  “Hopefully they won’t be too intrusive.  My luck, we’ll get Bartholomew.”

            Castiel cocked his head, studying his bodyguard.  “He’s the one who took care of me while you were hurt, but I had temporary caregivers while you were away.”

            “That’s because I called in favors, made threats, and issued ultimatums to make sure he wasn’t assigned to you!”

            “Why?  What’s wrong with Bartholomew?”

            “Fuck Bartholomew!”

            “Oh.”  That seemed less than promising.  “A-alright, then I guess I’ll change.”

            “Dress warmly,” Dean advised.  “You can do this, Cas.  Go pick out some clothes for yourself and change.  Layers are best.  It’s warmed up outside, so you won’t need a heavy coat.”

            “Alright.”

            “And if you’re not out in ten minutes, I’m coming in after you.”

            Castiel frowned.  “Why wouldn’t I come out in ten minutes?”

            Dean just smiled.  “Go and change, Cas.  Layers!”

            “Layers, right.”  Castiel obediently headed towards his living quarters.  Layers.  Alright. He could do that.  He changed quickly.  Should he comb his hair?  Probably. Castiel looked around, searching for his comb.  He couldn’t find it.  Well, a brush would work.  Nope, couldn’t find that, either.  Ah, that’s right, he’d accidentally set it on fire this past spring, trying to gauge the flammability of the bristles as part of an experiment, and was regulated to non-flammable combs only.  So where was his comb?  Was it in the cabinet over the sink?

            Castiel rooted around in the cabinet.  He found a tube he didn’t recognize.  Ah, that’s right, he’d found it in his luggage when they’d been unpacking after returning from the cabin.  He’d put it in the medicine cabinet and forgotten about it, and it had been there ever since.  According to the label, it was personal lubricant.  Why would he have such a thing?  Curious, Castiel checked the contents.  The tube contained a clear jelly.  He thoughtfully rubbed it between his fingers.  It seemed an adequate lubricant, especially if delicate components were involved.  He frowned thoughtfully at the tube.  The substance appeared to be water based, meaning it would dry out quickly under normal circumstances.  The best use would be in a sealed environment.  Perhaps he could use it in a piston chamber?  He’d have to test the flammability factor of the substance, as well as its relative viscosity under normal operating conditions.  If the substance was, in fact, water based, then its viscosity could potentially change in response to temperature.  Maybe that was something he could use?

            Castiel absently squeezed some of the substance onto his finger and began writing on the mirror.  Sealed, airtight piston chamber, controlled temperature.  He could use that.  More personal lubricant was added to the mirror, his finger flying to keep up with his mind.  He soon ran out of room and moved to the sink, where he began scribbling in personal lubricant on the counter.

            “Ok, ten minutes, time’s up!”  Dean came strolling into the bathroom.  “You better not be in here taking a shit, Cas, because I’m...”

            Castiel blinked at him.  “Ten minutes until what?” he asked.

            Dean’s eyes were very wide.  “Um, Cas? What are you doing with that?”

            “Oh, just jotting down some ideas that came to me.”  He frowned.  “The fact that it dries clear may be an issue.”

            “You got some ideas from K-Y Jelly?”  Dean’s freckled cheeks reddened, even as a smile spread across his face.  “What kind of ideas?”

            “Piston movement, mostly.”

            Dean’s blush deepened.  He chuckled, carefully removing the tube from Castiel’s hands.  “I see!  Well, now you’re not the only one getting ideas, buddy, but we really don’t have the time to study piston movement now.  We gotta get out and get you some sunshine and fresh air!”

            “Oh, right!  A walk, I forgot.”

            Castiel watched as Dean put the tube into his pocket.  “This isn’t something you should have, buddy.  It’s mine anyway, so I’ll just take it back.”

            “Alright.  Can I ask for it later when I need it?”

            “Sure thing!”  His bodyguard was still red-faced for some reason.  His green eyes had wide pupils as he turned back to Castiel.  Then they flicked up and down, taking in Castiel’s appearance, and Dean groaned.  “Well, that’s layers, I suppose.  I was thinking more along the lines of a t-shirt under a sweater under a hoodie, but hey, why not?”

            Castiel looked down at himself.  “It’s a dress shirt under a suit jacket that will go under my trench coat.”

            “You and that trench coat!”  Dean shook his head and reached forward.  “You even put on a tie!”

            “Yes?”

            “Backwards!”

            “Oh. Sorry.”  Castiel’s shoulders slumped.

            Dean shook his head and carefully undid the tie.  “You drive me crazy sometimes.”

            “I’m sorry, Dean.”

            “Don’t be sorry.”  Dean finished re-knotting the tie correctly around Castiel’s neck and adjusted the collar of his shirt over it.  Then he looked down and chuckled.  “You didn’t remember to tuck in your shirt again.”

            “I really am hopeless, aren’t I?”

            “Not at all.  It’s adorable, Cas.”  Dean was acting very odd.  His breathing was unusually quick as he adjusted Castiel’s shirt, tugging down any wrinkles.  Then he began carefully tucking the shirt in.

            “This must be such a chore for you,” Castiel grumbled.  “I cannot imagine your job description mentioned anything about you shoving your hands down into my pants!”  Poor Dean.  This was so undignified for a highly-recommended and vetted bodyguard like him to have to do.

            Dean made a small sound.  “You absolutely drive me crazy sometimes!”

            “I’m really very sorry, Dean,” Castiel said in a small voice.

            Dean’s pupils were even wider now.  “Pistons, lubricants, and my hands in your pants, huh, Cas?” he asked.  His voice was oddly husky.  He pulled the door closed behind himself.  Then he reached up, buried his fingers in Castiel’s hair.

            Castiel brightened.  “That’s it! My hair!  Thank you!”

            “You like that, angel?”

            Castiel gave a small nod and smiled, letting Dean run his fingers through his hair. Dean was so clever.  Castiel didn’t need a comb or brush, not when fingers could do an acceptable job!  Why didn’t he think of that?  No matter. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, giving Dean better access to his hair.  Dean would do an adequate job.  He always did.  Dean was so reliable.

            Apparently, Dean had finished.  His hands had tightened in Castiel’s hair.  For some reason, his breathing was quick.  He was pulling Castiel’s head forward, tilting it down until his face was parallel to the floor.  Then Dean leaned forward, pressing his own face against the top of Castiel’s head. That was odd.  What was Dean doing?  No matter.  Dean knew what he was doing, and that was the important thing.  “Time for exercise?”

            Dean let go of his hair, and Castiel raised his head, still smiling.  Dean’s hands moved down his neck, to his collar bones, and then moved further down until they rested on Castiel’s chest. Castiel tilted his head to one side, still smiling, wondering what Dean was doing.  The green in Dean’s eyes was only a tiny rim around a large circle of dark pupil.  Dean’s mouth worked, the muscles in his throat moving as he swallowed.  “Y-yeah, we can’t do that here, remember?” he said, his hands dropping to hold on to Castiel’s waist and pull him a step closer. Now his face was only inches away from Castiel’s.  Odd. Most people got upset at Castiel when he stood this close, something about personal space?  But Dean never seemed to mind.  His eyes seemed to be looking at Castiel’s mouth.  “Back at the cabin, we were pretty free to do whatever we wanted, and that was awesome.  But Heaven’s got eyes and ears everywhere!  We gotta be careful, alright?”

            “Of course.”  Castiel tilted his head to the other side and squinted at him, confused.  “But there aren’t any cameras in my personal bathroom?”

            “No, there aren’t.”  Dean was pushing him now, moving him back until he bumped against the sink.  “Maybe we can get a bit of exercise in after all? With no cameras, well, that opens the door to some possibilities!”

            Castiel was still confused.  “What difference do the security cameras make?  I thought we were going outside?”

            “Huh?  Oh. Oh!  Right, going for a walk, that’s what...  Right.”  Dean seemed flustered now.  “Um, could you wait outside, Cas?  I need a private moment.”

            “Of course.”  Castiel stepped out into the main room.  Dean closed the bathroom door behind him.  Castiel waited patiently.  Dean must have needed to use the toilet.  Maybe that was why he’d seemed so flustered, because his need was becoming urgent and Castiel was still in the room?  Still, why hadn’t he used one of the other restrooms?  Now that he thought about it, no one else had ever used Castiel’s personal restroom before now.  Castiel didn’t mind, of course.  Dean likely had his reasons.

            Castiel heard an odd sound from the bathroom and turned towards it.  Then he was certain he heard Dean call out his name. His voice sounded strange, the sound of his name coming out as a low groan.  Castiel frowned.  He approached the bathroom and knocked on the door.  “Dean?  Did you call me?”

            “No! Don’t worry about it, just... I’ll be out in one moment, Cas, go back and wait in reception!”

            “Alright.”  Castiel shrugged and headed towards the reception area.

            A bit later, Dean appeared, looking considerably more at ease.  He smiled fondly at Castiel.  “Ready, buddy?”

            “Of course, Dean.”

            Dean opened the door and swept his arm towards it.  “After you!”

            Castiel headed out.  He followed the blue line to the restricted elevator, stepping back so that Dean could unlock it with a wave of his hand.  Then a short ride down lead to another hallway.  Once again, Castiel followed the blue line.  It led to another elevator, this one requiring only a security code.  Castiel entered it correctly on the second try, which earned him a pat on the back from Dean.  “Nice job, Cas!”

            “Thanks!”

            The ride down was a little longer than the previous elevator.  This time, the blue line led him to a public elevator. Another ride down, and they were at the lobby.

            Four men were waiting, one of whom was pacing around impatiently.  Dean sighed.  “Hello, Bartholomew.”

            “About time!  What took you so long?”

            Immediately, Castiel cringed.  “I’m sorry, I delayed us.  I got this idea about sealed pistons, and...”

            “I was rubbing one out, Bart, got a problem?” Dean snapped.

            Bartholomew rolled his eyes.  “You’re foul, Winchester.  Whatever, let’s get this over with.”

            “Hey, Bart, how about you knock it off?” Dean challenged.  The bodyguard was visibly bristling.

            “We wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t screwed up, Winchester!”

            “Fine, you don’t care for me, but don’t take it out on Cas!”

            Bartholomew rolled his eyes.  “Let’s just get going.”

            The six men headed out the door.

            As usual, they attracted attention.  That was normal and expected.  Castiel ignored it.  He started forward, intending to set a brisk pace.

            “Not that way, Castiel!” Bartholomew snapped.  “Our route is east, not west!”

            “What the hell’s the difference?” Dean challenged.

            Bartholomew ignored him, taking Castiel’s arm to turn him.  “This way!”

            Castiel ducked his head, mumbled an apology, and set off in the indicated direction.  Soon, the Heaven building was a distance behind him.  The weather was ideal for a walk.  The wind didn’t bother him much.  Dean had been right about layers.  The sun was shining, warming him as he strolled.  Castiel began to relax.

            “No, Castiel, you need to turn here!”

            “Dude, what is the difference?  He’s not outside the parameter, who cares if he doesn’t follow the route exactly?”

            “You know, Lucifer is aware that you violate protocol when you walk with Castiel,” Bartholomew informed Dean.  “You are given a route for a reason, and you are to follow that route!”

            “The reason is that the area’s secured, but it’s secured clear out to the parameter!  I always turn him before he gets that far, but there’s a gentle way to do it!  And until he...”

            Bartholomew took Castiel’s arm again and gently steered him to the right. “This way.”

            Castiel ducked his head again, apologized once more, and went where directed.

            The entire walk to the park was like that.  Castiel would start to relax and not pay attention to where he was going, and Bartholomew would immediately correct him.  Then Dean would protest and the two would argue.  The other three guards appeared, in order, to be amused, annoyed, and bored.  By the time they arrived at the park, where Bartholomew informed him he’d been scheduled for a fifteen-minute period of relaxation, Castiel was anything but relaxed.  His hands were shoved into his pockets, his eyes were fixed on the ground, and he felt as if the entire world was staring at him, judging him.  He raised a hand self-consciously towards his head.

            Dean quickly caught it.  “Come on, buddy, let’s sit on the bench.  Bartholomew, go kick a puppy somewhere, would you?”

            “Bite me, Winchester.”

            Dean ignored him in favor of guiding Castiel to a bench.  Castiel sank down on it with a groan.  “I’m sorry.  I just can’t seem to do anything right on this walk!”

            “It’s a walk.  There shouldn’t be a right or wrong way to take a walk!  Bartholomew, are you satisfied, you prick?!”

            “Yes, because for the first time in months, Castiel has actually followed set parameters!”

            “And enjoyed himself exactly zero!”

            “Go get bent.”

            “Right after your mom.”  Dean turned back to Castiel.  “Cas, just try to forget about them, alright?  Just breathe, relax.  The sun’s shining, the birds are singing...”

            “It’s late January, Dean.  There aren’t any birds singing.”

            Dean let out a long sigh that made his lips flap.  He pushed Castiel back so he was leaning back against the bench. Then Dean leaned back himself.  He tilted his head so his face was towards the sky.  “Relax, Cas. That’s what you need.  Just rest against the bench and feel the sun on your face.”

            Castiel tried, and found, to his surprise, that he actually was able to do it. It was likely Dean’s presence, he mused. Dean had a way of doing that for him, helping Castiel to relax.  His bodyguard was always saying that Castiel overthought things.  Well, Dean was probably right.  Castiel took a deep breath and let it out, resting against the park bench.  He focused on the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the breeze, the relative quiet all around him...

            “Alright, time to go!”  Bartholomew, shattering Castiel’s hard-won calm in an instant and taking his arm to gently pull him to his feet.  “Off your ass, Winchester.”

            “I’m about ready to kick yours!”

            “Go ahead,” Bartholomew challenged.  “Take a swing so I can get your probation revoked and get rid of you for good!”

            Dean moved forward, took Castiel’s other arm, and smiled pleasantly at Bartholomew.  “I’m Castiel’s bodyguard, not you.  And I don’t care for how you keep touching him.  It upsets him, and I won’t put up with it.  So take your fucking hands off of him.  Now.”

            Castiel wasn’t surprised when Bartholomew immediately let go.  Dean was right, after all.  While Bartholomew had done nothing to hurt Castiel, every time the guard touched him, Castiel felt tense.  As his bodyguard, if Bartholomew continued to touch him, Dean was well within his right to attack.  If the other man’s flaming cheeks and furious expression were any indication, Bartholomew was well aware.  The guard gestured angrily to the right.  “South exit.”

            “I know the route, thanks!”  Dean casually started walking, his hand still on Castiel’s arm.  When he spoke again, his voice was gentle.  “Sorry, angel.  But how about this?”  He let go of Castiel, crooked his arm, and put Castiel’s hand on it.  “How about I lead you, huh?  Then you can let your mind wander like you do, and try to get something out of this without that prick constantly yelling at you every time you take half a step off the path?”

            “Th-thank you, Dean, I’d appreciate that.”

            It helped, to a degree.  Castiel simply followed where Dean led him.  But the presence of the four guards, and especially the way Bartholomew was visibly angry and kept glaring at Dean, made it impossible for Castiel to really relax. By the time they’d returned to Heaven and he and Dean were left alone in the lobby, Castiel was wishing they’d never gone out.

            Dean, apparently, knew what he was thinking.  “Ok, this is bullshit,” he announced.  “Let’s go see Gabe, see if he can’t help.”

            “Gabriel?  But Lucifer is in charge of...”

            “I know, and I know Luc won’t do shit because he’s still pissed off at me! Raph doesn’t care about anything but his figures, and Mike’s too busy to be bothered with something like this. The only one that might be willing to listen is Gabe.  So how about you get us in to see him?”

            That was easy enough.  But it still didn’t make sense.  “Dean, Gabriel likely won’t be able to do anything about my security protocols.”

            “Won’t hurt to try, will it?”

            “But he doesn’t...”

            “Can we just talk to him?” Dean pleaded, looking at Castiel like a wounded puppy.  “Please?”

            Castiel nodded.  Then he moved to the front desk.  “I need to speak with Gabriel.”

            The receptionist never hesitated.  A few keystrokes later, and they were cleared.  Then it was simply a matter of following the golden line painted on the floor.  And a short time later, they were walking under a golden archway with the words “Angel Gabriel” painted on it, pushing open a door featuring an image of a golden angel.


	5. Chapter 15 - Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Michael goes into overload, misunderstandings abound

            Hydrogen.  In and of itself, it presented obvious difficulties.  But it was inexpensive, easily available, and not difficult to store or handle so long as care was taken due to flammability.  Could hydrogen be the answer?  For liquid gas, nitrogen would likely work better, but nitrogen in gas form was simply inadequate for his needs.  Hydrogen might suffice where nitrogen could not.  He’d have to test it, of course, both in the lab and in a field situation.  Extra caution would have to be taken when designing safety features to find a way to prevent explosion.  Maybe it wouldn’t work after all.  What about argon?

            Castiel’s mind was awash in the properties of various gases as he walked. He wished he could go back to his lab, but when he glanced up at the series of indicator lights above every doorway, the blue light remained stubbornly dark.  That meant that while the work continued in his off-site labs and his staff remained hard at work, he couldn’t do anything here in his main lab. Frustratingly annoying.  Maybe, since he couldn’t test out gases in his lab, he could work a bit more on safely expanding capacity so he could spend more uninterrupted lab time?  No, that was a bad idea.  The last time he’d tried that, it had been a disaster.  He’d been kept out of his lab for days while he’d been forced to undergo an extremely annoying psychological and neurological evaluation.  He still didn’t understand the point of the psychological part.  The neurological issues were obvious, what with the damage he’d almost done to his central nervous system with that particular experiment.  But what did psychology have to do with anything? Castiel had his doubts that was even an actual science.  Even though he’d been through numerous psychological evaluations and treatments even well before his botched experiment, the field was never one he’d understood.  It all seemed more like guesswork based on vague feelings to him.  He much preferred measurable, scientific evidence.  But ever since The Incident, any time Castiel did anything even remotely dangerous to himself or others, he was back talking to the shrinks.  It was annoying.  It wasn’t like he’d been trying to hurt himself with his experiment, or anyone else.  That had been nothing at all like The Incident.

            The thin sound of a music box interrupted his thinking.  “Music Box Dancer,” playing over the speakers.  Above the doors, the white light was blinking.  The combination meant only one thing - overload. Michael had been working all day with the Huis delegates, trying to hammer out a contract now that they’d decided to sign on with Angeli Quinque.  Apparently, he’d pushed himself too far.  Well, that wasn’t good.  Overload could be dangerous.  Anyone could tell you that.  Right now, all of the access leading up to the secure floors was being blocked off, security gates closing and elevators shutting down, allowing only those with the highest level of clearance through.  Security would be on high alert.  Now they’d have to deal with the actual overload.  Michael’s control would immediately activate while the specially-trained technicians would go to work, gently disengaging the affected network portals in the Angeli Quinque network.  That was step one.  After that, step two was recovery, usually done by the handlers.  Castiel wasn’t involved in any of it and was supposed to keep away.

            His eyes went to the flashing white light.  He shivered.  Right now, Michael would be in a terrible state.  Overload was difficult, painful, and traumatic.  Naturally, he was very worried about Michael.  He hoped everything would be alright.  Everyone knew their roles, of course.  Overload didn’t happen often, but the Angeli Quinque staff held regular drills.  They knew what they were doing.  Besides, there was nothing Castiel could do to help.  His primary role when Michael overloaded was to stay in his section.  Alright.  He could do that.

            This wasn’t his section.  Where was he? Oh, the restricted area.  Each of the five sections had its own floor, with his own at the top, connected by a restricted elevator.  Gabriel’s was right beneath his, and likely where he was right now. Well, no matter.  He'd be safe enough, wandering through Gabriel’s section. As long as he steered clear of the white lines on the floor, everything would be fine.  All he had to do was follow the blue lines, and he could go back to his lab.  Then he could test the gases!  No, wait, he couldn’t.  The blue indicator was still off.  Frustrating. Well, he still should go back to his section.  With Dean away, he’d need to find someone to activate the elevator for him.  That might be difficult during an overload. Oh well.  He was very worried about Michael.  But he knew he should still head towards his section. 

            Resolved to do just that, Castiel turned and walked the other way.  Once more, gas properties filled his mind.  The blue indicator light was still out.  All of them were out, save for the flashing white indicator.  Well, they would be out for a while now.  Now that there had been an overload, it was likely that the handlers would keep them switched off for a while now, for “safety.”  That made no sense to Castiel.  Overload in one section, once contained, posed no danger to any other section.  The issue in the white Diplomacy section would only affect the red Defense section. It had no bearing on the silver Finance, the gold Information, or the blue Research and Development sections, and yet the indicator lights would remain off.  He suspected it was more of the psychology nonsense that the handlers were so into.  All it meant was that it might be even longer than normal before he could return to his lab. Oh well.  At least he could still think, maybe try to puzzle out the issue of which gas to use.

            He just hoped Michael was alright.

            Castiel was running through every gas in the periodic table in his mind when he turned a corner found himself grabbed by a golden figure.  Lucifer seized him, his blazing electric blue eyes wide and upset.  “Shit! Way too close!  Cassie, what are you doing here?!”

            “Huh?”  Castiel looked up and saw a white archway labeled “Angel Michael.”  Just ahead of him was a door bearing a picture of a white angel.  Apparently, he’d somehow turned around, ending up precisely in the one area he was supposed to avoid.  He could hear noises from behind the door, Michael crying out and a variety of voices, the handlers trying to soothe him.  Castiel frowned, wishing he could go in and somehow help.  Above the door, the white indicator light was still flashing. The blue was still dark.  Castiel frowned.  That meant he still couldn’t go back to his lab.  It was incredibly frustrating.  He’d been thinking hard about neon, and thought it had some real possibilities.  Maybe if he...

            “Hello, Cassandra!”  Lucifer was frowning, tapping on Castiel’s forehead.  “Come back to Earth, please, your people need you!”

            “Oh! Sorry Lucifer.  I’m, wait, I’m in Michael’s section?”

            “Yes, Cassie, you are in Diplomacy, Michael’s section.  I saw you walking over here from down the hall and have been calling you for, like, five minutes?  Finally when I realized you were getting way too close, I ran up and just grabbed you!”

            “But you shouldn’t be here, either!”

            “I know, but I had to do something, didn’t I?  I couldn’t let you go in there!”  He sighed, casting a worried look at the door before returning his attention to Castiel.  “I know, you’re worried about him the same as I am.  Your feet are going to find their way here because for some reason you are out of your section.  I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Gabe and Raph are roaming around down here, too because we’re all worried!  But our favorite pain in the ass negotiations specialist Angel has been jacked in, busy working with Huis, all day.  You know how long we’ve been working for this.  He’s pushed himself too hard, and he ended up going into overload.  And now I have to deal with it!”  Lucifer indicated the wireless jack that protruded from his temple.  “And of course he’s resisting control, as usual.  And that means that any minute now...  Yup, there it is,” he called as his eyes turned glowing red and the sound of “Music Box Dancer” again played from the speakers.  Now the red indicator above the doors was blinking along with the white.  Lucifer winced.  “Gotta love it!”

            Castiel frowned in sympathy at the Angel’s pained expression.  “He’s put you into pseudo overload again?”

            “Yes, yes he has.  But it’ll be just fine in a minute or two, now the handlers are in there.  Mmm, yeah, the sooner the better.  But meanwhile, let’s talk about you, Cassie.”  He tightened his grip on Castiel’s arm and started walking, leading him away from Michael’s working and living quarters.  “Tell me, how the hell did you get over here?! Where’s your bodyguard?!”

            “Out,” Castiel reminded, wincing at Lucifer’s tight grip.  “He’s been on vacation all week, remember?”

            “Ah, that’s right.  And which incompetent moron let you out?!  Never mind, I know you have no idea,” he called as Castiel opened his mouth to say exactly that.  “Well since I’m already plugged in, I’ll just check the security tapes.”  The Angel’s eyes went distant, his golden skin shimmering as nanites worked to cool his processors.  Then his red eyes seemed to blaze even brighter as he glared at Castiel. “You called for a snack, and then apparently forgot about it while you were waiting because you went wandering down the hall.  When the attendant brought it up, she was too busy talking on her cell phone to realize you were walking up the hall behind her when she headed to your living quarters. And you just absentmindedly walked up behind her, right into the elevator before the door closed!  That’s how you got out of your section?!”  He shook his head in disgust. “Unbelievable!  That stupid woman doesn’t even know you got out!  She just left the cart, knocked on your door, and then went on her merry way without even seeing if you answered!  Never even occurred to her to wonder why she had to wait for the elevator?!  No, of course not, because she was too busy on her damned cell phone!”  Lucifer looked furious, and now his grip on Castiel was painfully tight.  “That level of incompetence is completely unacceptable!  What if something happened to you, huh?!  No one would have even known you were out!  I won’t stand for this!  She’s fired!”

            Castiel twisted his arm, trying to loosen the furious Angel’s grip.  “Lucifer, if she didn’t even know I was there, she couldn’t possibly have realized I’d gotten into the elevator!  If I...  Ow! Stop!”

            Lucifer paid him no attention.  The Angel had started storming away, dragging Castiel stumbling after him as he rapidly made his way down the halls.  “I cannot believe this shit!” he growled.  “Where do they hire these idiots?!  You got out and were almost in Mike’s lap before I caught you!  What if I hadn’t been there?  He’s in overload!  Doesn’t that stupid bitch know what could have happened?!”

            “Lucifer, stop!”  Castiel pried at the fingers digging into his arm.  “You’re hurting me!  Let me go!”

            “Every employee that has access to the secure levels is required to learn about overload,” Lucifer complained, still oblivious.  “And they all know what you’re like, Cassie!  They know how important it is that you stay locked in your section! Even if Mike hadn’t gone into overload, what if you’d managed to get down into the lobby?  You could have wandered right out the door!”

            “Would you please listen to me?!”

            “I know it didn’t happen, but it could have!  And I know you don’t know the codes to the elevators down to the unsecured areas...”

            “...Actually...”

            “...But there’s no telling where you might end up, especially when you’re shut out of the lab!  That does it! I’m taking you back into my section with me.  I’ll take care of you, and I’m not letting you out of my sight until Winchester comes back.  I can’t work anyway, and right now I don’t trust anyone else!”  And now Lucifer’s grip got even tighter, the furious Angel dragging Castiel protectively closer without ever hearing his cries of pain. “I don’t understand what is wrong with some people.  Everyone who works in the top sections knows about your condition!  You need care, Cas!  Due diligence, not some stupid bimbo too busy on her fucking cell phone to take proper precautions!  If nothing else...”

            Castiel stumbled after him, frantically trying to pry an oblivious Lucifer’s fingers off of his arm.  “Stop!” he yelled.  “Let me go, you’re hurting me!  Please, stop!”

            _“Lucifer!”_

            Oh, that was right.  Dean was supposed to come back today.  Here he came now, charging around the corner, looking absolutely livid as he raced up to Lucifer and...  Had Dean seriously just punched Lucifer in the face?!

            Dean had done exactly that.  Lucifer had been as unprepared as Castiel.  Dean’s blow sent him flying into the wall.  The Angel’s glowing red eyes went wide as he slid down, landing in a sprawl on one hip, staring up at Dean.

            Castiel immediately charged forward, getting between Lucifer and Dean.  “Dean, stop!  What are you doing?!”

            Dean seized him and started running, racing down the hall.  Once more, Castiel found himself stumbling after someone, but at least Dean’s grip on him was gentle.  “He’s not hurting you!” Dean was calling.  “Not again!”

            “But he wasn’t!  He...”

            “I heard you yelling that he was hurting you, Cas!”

            “Well, yes, but...”

            “And he’s in overload!”  Dean pointed accusingly at the blinking red indicator beneath the doorway they passed. “Gabriel promised me he wouldn’t let it happen again, and it did!  It _did!”_

            “Dean!”

            “Speak of the devil!” Dean snarled, coming quickly to a stop as he saw Gabriel ahead.

            Gabriel was frowning at Castiel.  “Dean, why did you bring him here?  Don’t you know what’s happening?!”

            “I do, and I didn’t!  I just got back, saw Mike’s light was flashing, and immediately got scared for Cas. So I ran up and everyone was already looking for him in his section, but it was pretty obvious he’d gotten out again! So I came here to look for him over near Mike’s quarters, thinking he might wander this way because he’d be worried about Mike.  But by the time I got here, Luc was in overload too, and he had Cas!  He had him again, Gabe, and he was hurting him again! I had to punch him in the face to get him to let Cas go!  Where the hell were you?!”

            “Wait, did you just say you punched Luc in the face?!”

            “Yes, because you were nowhere to be found!”  Dean’s face was flushed in fury.  His arm went protectively around Castiel’s shoulders.  “You better get your ass back there and sort him out, Gabe!”

            “Whoa, cool your jets, buddy,” Gabriel called, raising his hands.  “It’s not what you think!”

            Dean sputtered.  “Not what I think?!  He was hurting Cas!  That’s all I care about!”

            “Who’s hurting Cas?!”  Raphael, just when things couldn’t get any worse.  He came running around the corner, looking outraged.  “Why the hell is he out of his section?!  Cas, are you hurt?!  What happened?!  Where’s security?!  Winchester, you better be doing your job!”

            “Damned right I’m doing my job!”

            Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Cas got out again, but Dean’s actually doing his job a little too well. He just punched Lucifer in the face.”

            Raphael’s eyes were suddenly in danger of popping out of his skull.  “He _what?!”_

            “I absolutely punched that son of a bitch in the face!  He was in overload and hurting Cas again!  Tell them, Cas!”

            All eyes were suddenly on Castiel.  He found himself irrationally wishing that the floor would swallow him.  “Well, yes, he was hurting me, but Dean, you really shouldn’t have hit him!”

            Raphael stared.  Gabriel groaned.  “Oh, Dean, you shouldn’t have done that!”

            Dean raised a hand towards him.  “No. No more.  I honestly cannot take anymore.  We’re done talking, Gabe.  I’m taking Cas back upstairs before anything else happens to him!”

            “Winchester!”

            Lucifer had apparently recovered enough from his shock to dare to approach. Dean whirled around, shoving Castiel behind him towards Raphael.  “You stay the fuck away from him, Luc!  Raph, take Cas!  Get him safe, and I’ll hold this son of a bitch off until Gabe settles his ass down!”

            Lucifer’s glowing red eyes went wide.  “Whoa, cool down!  You’re obviously very upset, so maybe you should just let Gabe and Raph take Cas back and you and I can talk?”

            “You know I have to stay,” Gabriel reminded. 

            “By the sound of things, I probably should be here as well,” Raphael sighed. He mussed Castiel’s hair and gently steered him towards Dean.  “Winchester, take Castiel back to his section, please, and make sure he doesn’t get out this time?  Keep him safe until this is over.”

            “And then we’re going to have a little chat, Winchester.”  Lucifer had narrowed his eyes, the Angel’s voice leaving no room for argument.

            Dean apparently didn’t care.  He put an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and marched off, following the white line back towards the elevators until it joined the familiar blue.

            “Dean, I’m not sure you understand what you’ve just done,” Castiel began once they were in the elevator.

            “I understand exactly what I did.  My job, Cas!  Dammit, if I’d just gotten here five minutes sooner...!”  He frowned, pushed back Castiel’s sleeve, and glared at the angry marks of Lucifer’s fingers on the exposed skin.  “Son of a bitch bruised you again!  Dammit!”

            “Dean, you just attacked an Angel!”

            “I don’t give a shit who or what he is!  He was hurting you!  My job is to protect you, alright?  And I failed you tonight!  I fucking failed you, Cas!  But never again.”

            To Castiel’s surprise, Dean drew him into a fierce embrace.  “I won’t let him hurt you again, not Lucifer or any of the rest of them.  I swear it, Cas!  I’ve almost got things set up.  A few more days, and this all changes!”

            “A-alright,” Castiel said, mystified.  “But Dean, you’re going to have to face some serious consequences!”

            “Yeah, I know.”

            Of course Dean knew.  But there was little that could be done.

            Castiel barely slept that night.  The next morning, he made the unprecedented move of not going to the lab, choosing instead to wait for the inevitable call from Michael.

            It was time for Dean to face the consequences of his actions.

            At least Michael had recovered well.  As Castiel sat with the Angeli Quinque leaders, taking his spot at the foot of the table, Michael was already explaining that he’d been in negotiations all day, trying to settle things with Huis.  “I’d set the hard end time, of course, but I made a regrettable, critical error,” he confessed.  “I forgot to properly account for the time I’d already spent during our demonstration yesterday morning.  That’s why my timing was off.  While I was deep in negotiations, I was close to the end of my capacity and believed I still had more time than I did.  As a result, I failed to realize I was nearing overload until it was too late. The result was yesterday’s fiasco. I’m sorry.”

            “That’s understandable,” Raphael said.

            “I can see how it happened,” Castiel agreed.

            “Smooth move, Ex-Lax,” Gabriel said.

            “Dumbass!” Lucifer snapped.  “How stupid could you be, Mikey?!  Can’t you count?!”  He shook his head.  “How bad did you get anyway?  Because when your data got shunted into my jack, let me tell you, it did not feel good!” He leaned forward, looking sympathetic. “Did you wet ‘em?  You wet ‘em, didn’t you, Mikey?”

            Michael’s dark eyes smoldered with suppressed anger as he stared at the other Angel.  “Luc...!”

            “Hey, it’s ok if you did,” Lucifer encouraged.  “If you made too big of a mess, we can always get you a babysitter like we do with Cassandra!”

            “Dean isn’t my babysitter, he’s...!”

            “Your babysitter,” Raphael agreed.  “We call them bodyguards and they do actually serve that purpose, but let’s face facts, Cas.  You’re brilliant, that’s undeniable, but you completely lack the ability to care for yourself.  You wander off constantly, you forget to eat or sleep or exercise, and you’d never leave your lab if we didn’t lock you out periodically!”

            “So you agree that Mikey needs one, too?” Lucifer asked.

            “No, Luc, I do not!  I’m talking about Cas!  We all know why, but facts are facts.  He very much does need a babysitter, one that can be trusted to care for him, protect him, and keep quiet about Angeli Quinque business.  With this being our Lead Researcher we’re speaking of here, that trait, trustworthiness, becomes especially vital!  Now the only thing that we need to decide here is one question - is Dean Winchester trustworthy?”

            “Yes!” Castiel cried.  “Dean didn’t attack Lucifer out of any sort of maliciousness or ill will.  He was performing his duty as my bodyguard and trying to protect me!”

            “That’s true,” Gabriel confirmed.  “Dean became very upset when he saw me because he felt I’d let Cas down, that I hadn’t protected him the way I’d promised I would last time.”

            “Last time?” Michael asked.

            “The last time that Luc went into overload,” Gabriel explained with a sigh. “Gentlemen, I believe we’ve just run head-first into a potentially serious issue with our personnel here at Angeli Quinque headquarters.  Namely, our lack of providing information to our closest employees!  Dean Winchester was given the standard training on Angel overload and how to recognize it, ‘Music Box Dancer’ and the indicator lights.  He knows what to do in the event of an overload and that’s why, even though he’d literally just walked in the door...”

            “You looked at my security tapes again, you nib nose!” Lucifer accused.

            “No, Luc, I just asked the guards at the front desk!  Anyway, as I was saying, he’d just literally walked into Heaven and the alert sounded.  Dean would have had to use his emergency override codes just to get up into the restricted sections, but he obviously did, because that’s where he was.  He came straight up here and immediately started looking for Cas, just as he was trained to do.  I can only imagine what he must have thought when he found out Cas wasn’t in his section and no one knew where he was!  But when Dean finally found his charge, there were, if you’ll recall, two overload alarms in progress.”

            Michael frowned.  “Who else went into overload?”

            “No one!” Lucifer snapped, glaring at him.  “But what happens when you overload, Mikey?  Yeah, all your shit gets dumped onto me!  And I was already at capacity when you tripped my control function!  So when you resisted, it triggered my overload sensors, too!”

            Michael grew silent.  Lucifer immediately grimaced and reached for his hand.  “I’m sorry,” he said humbly.  “I know it’s not your fault.”

            “It’s my fault for resisting, but I can’t help it!”  It was never easy to see Michael like this.  Castiel was used to the strong, confident image the Angel presented to the world.  But so soon after an overload, his emotions were still fragile.  Now he was clinging to Lucifer’s hand, his dark skin flushed and his eyes pleading.  “My mind falls apart, Luc, and all I want is you!  If they’d only let you in, let you be with me?  I’d never fight control!”

            Lucifer squeezed his hand.  “You know they can’t do that.”

            “And that’s no one’s fault, either,” Raphael called, glancing at Castiel. Castiel wilted.

            Meanwhile, the collection of handlers who always hovered around the room had all moved from their positions, ready to intervene.  They’d spread out behind each of the five chairs, watching like hunting cats ready to pounce.  Three were behind Michael, five behind Lucifer.  Castiel held his breath, saw Gabriel tense and Raphael do the same as they eyed the handlers near them.  “Angel Michael?” one of the handlers near the head of the table called.  “You need to let go of Angel Lucifer now.”

            But Lucifer was shaking his head, raising a hand to ward them off.  “It’s alright, Mike,” he soothed.  “It’s over.  I’m here.”

            Fortunately, Michael was regaining control.  He still wouldn’t release Lucifer’s hand, but the familiar calm, confident leader had returned.  He nodded, waving the handlers back.  “I’m alright. I’m in control.”

            The handlers didn’t look convinced, but they backed off.

            “I’m alright,” Michael repeated again, louder.  “And I am sorry that the conditions of my overload cause issues.  But I’m afraid I still don’t understand. Even if I resist control, that shouldn’t trigger an overload!  Luc, you’re built to take over for me as a failsafe!  You’ve got specialized redundant processors specifically for it! Even at capacity, you should be able to easily take over!”

            “Yes, Mike, but what you don’t know because you’ve never seen it is that when you fight his control, especially when he’s already at capacity?  The strain of it can trigger all of Luc’s overload alarms, including Heaven’s alerts,” Raphael explained patiently. “He’s not actually in overload, but the systems think he is!”

            Castiel was nodding.  “Yes, and unless you talk to him, you can’t tell the difference between that pseudo-overload and the real thing!  So when Dean came running around that corner and saw Lucifer with his skin golden and his eyes glowing red, with the indicators all alerting that he was in overload?  Of course he reacted the way he did!  He was trying to protect me!”  Castiel didn’t mention the fact that Lucifer had been hurting him at the time. Everyone was already upset enough. No need to upset them, especially Michael, any more.  At least Michael had finally let go of Lucifer’s hand.  That was encouraging.  The handlers had relaxed enough to move back into their positions.

            Unfortunately, the core of the problem still remained.  “I just want everyone to think for a moment about one thing - precedence.”  Lucifer touched his cheek, where a bruise was forming, and combed his fingers through his spikey blonde hair.  “Guys, we just had an employee hit an Angel who wasn’t in overload and presented no threat! Winchester gave me no warning, just hauled off and hit me!”

            Uh oh.  Now Michael, Raphael, and even Gabriel were looking upset, jaws and fists tensing as they looked at the mark on Lucifer’s cheek.  Even Castiel felt a bit sick when he looked at it.  Dean hadn’t held back when he’d punched Lucifer.  Michael nodded.  “Go on, Luc.  Tell us what’s on your mind.”

            “Here’s the thing.  Word is already spreading through the ranks, alright?  The decision we make here will affect how this sort of thing is handled from here on out.  Are we going to let our staff believe that it’s possible to strike an Angeli Quinque Angel and get away with it?!”

            “Dean is a wonderful bodyguard!” Castiel exclaimed.  “What he did was unacceptable, but he was only trying to perform his job!  If Lucifer’s going to insist we punish him in some way, then give him a written reprimand and put him on probation!”

            “I agree.”  It was Gabriel.  “Considering what happened when Luc actually did go into overload, it’s pretty obvious that Dean Winchester was acting within his capacity as Cas’s bodyguard, trying to protect his charge from what he believed was a significant threat. And I’d also like to remind everyone here at this table of what Dean did at the restaurant?  He could have done far, far worse to Luc than he did!  He stayed his hand, used only the amount of force necessary to protect his charge, and then immediately removed both himself and Cas from the area!”

            “He knocked me right on my ass!”

            “And then took Cas and left.  If he really wanted to hurt you, Luc, you know perfectly well he could have done so!”

            “We all sucked it up and played nice to mend relations with Huis, and they did a lot worse to hurt Angeli Quinque than Dean did by punching you!” Castiel pointed out.  “Michael, you ordered me to cooperate with them despite everything that happened. And Dean is the one who stopped them from doing much worse than they did!”

            Michael raised a hand.  “Enough. I understand what happened now. And I’ve made my decision. Winchester acted within the confines of his role as Cas’s bodyguard, trying to protect him from what he believed to be a threat.  If Luc had actually been in overload, well, the unfortunate truth is that we all know that he does present a real danger to Castiel.  Based on what he knew and his experiences last time, Winchester acted in an appropriate manner and will remain in his role.”

            “I completely disagree!” Lucifer snapped.

            “Why?” Gabriel challenged.  “Dean acted just the way we paid him to act, the way you trained him!  But if you’re going to throw a fit about it, and it’s obvious you are, then how about we take Cas’s suggestion and put him on probation? We can let you keep an eye on him with your security team, make sure he stays in line.  And if he steps out, you present that here and we act on it.”

            “Yes!” Castiel exclaimed, pointing at Gabriel.  “Probation!  I’d like to formally request that Dean Winchester be put on probation, say, six weeks? That should give him plenty of time to redeem himself.”

            Lucifer grumbled, but eventually he nodded.  “Alright.  I’ll live with that.”


	6. Chapter 14 - Five Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angeli Quinque puts on a demonstration for some new clients, but Castiel is less than pleased to participate

            Castiel argued for twenty minutes with the staff in his section who refused to unlock his lab.  They were threatening to call the handlers before Michael arrived to intervene.  “You can’t work today because we’re doing the demonstration, remember?” he explained as he gently forced Castiel away from his lab with an arm around his shoulders.

            Castiel looked back longingly towards his lab. It remained stubbornly locked. “That’s what they were saying!” he yelled, pointing accusingly at his flustered staff.  “But I’m busy, Michael!  We all know I can’t really show anyone anything real, so why do I even have to be there?  I should be working on...”

            “You’re doing this demonstration, Castiel.” Michael’s voice was stern.  “It’s time we mended relations with Huis.”

            Castiel ground his teeth.  “I know you gave me a direct order, Michael, but reconsider!” he pleaded.  “If I can just...”

            Michael shushed him.  “Have you eaten?”

            Castiel frowned.  “I don’t remember.”

            “Alright, we’ll start there.  Breakfast bar, please?”  Michael nodded in thanks when he was handed an opened breakfast bar, waving off the staff member who explained she’d been trying to get Castiel to eat for half an hour.  Still forcing a reluctant Castiel forward with an arm around his shoulders, Michael put the breakfast bar into Castiel’s hand.  “Alright, you eat this,” he ordered, physically lifting the hand with the breakfast bar towards Castiel’s mouth.  “I will get your things and help you get ready.”

            Castiel absently began to eat.  He was still frowning, his mind churning over all the things he needed to do back in his lab.

            Michael had returned, his arms loaded with items. He nodded in approval as he saw the last bite of the breakfast bar going into Castiel’s mouth.  Then he took Castiel by the hand and led him into the bathroom.  “Do you remember what this demonstration is for?” he asked as he readied a toothbrush.

            “Bringing a new client into the Angeli Quinque network,” Castiel recited.  He accepted the toothbrush and began to brush his teeth.

            “Yes, and that is very important!  I’ve been negotiating with this country for years. They’ve always wanted you, Cas, as we all know only too well.  But now that they were able to utilize Luc to end their civil war, their restored government is finally taking a real interest in what Angeli Quinque can do for them as a whole.”

            Castiel quietly brushed his teeth, not trusting himself to speak.

            “Huis is a small African nation, pretty young in the global scale of things.  But they’re located right in the middle of a vital trade route.  For a small nation outside of the Angeli Quinque network, they’re very well developed.  Their leaders are proud.  And although certain members of their government have been trying hard to get to you through various means, they’ve been adamant for years about maintaining their independence.”

            “I’m all too aware of the ‘various means’ citizens of Huis have employed to try to get to me!”  Castiel shuddered and made air quotes as he talked around his toothbrush.

            Michael hugged him.  “I know,” he said softly.  “And I understand why you don’t want to do this.  None of us wants to be reminded of how close we came!  But at least some good resulted of that incident.  Because of it, their government signed a short-term contract for Luc, and then another for me to negotiate a peace treaty.  Now I’ve finally gotten them to the point where they’re at least interested enough that they want a demonstration, to see exactly what it is that Angeli Quinque can do for them with a binding contract. Naturally, the one thing they want the most is you.”

            “And so we’re letting them have me?!”  Castiel scowled.  “I still cannot believe you’re ordering me to meet with them!  After what they did...?!”

            “That faction no longer exists!”  Michael’s voice was suddenly very sharp.  “Lucifer made absolutely certain of that!  Do you really think that I, that any of us, would stand for those monsters ever coming near you again?!”

            Castiel’s shoulders slumped.  “No.  You wouldn’t.”

            “Of course not.”  He gave Castiel a gentle smile.  “Here, give me the toothbrush, you’re finished.  Rinse, please!”

            Castiel rinsed.  He stood back up and Michael attacked his face with a wet soapy cloth. Finished, Michael inspected his work and frowned.  “Castiel, when was the last time someone helped you shave?  This stubble, you’ve practically grown a beard!”

            “Oh, this?”  Castiel rubbed at his growth.  “I took apart my electric razor, trying to see if the motor could be utilized in another project I’ve got going on.  And no one will let me use razors, so...”

            Michael groaned.  “When is Winchester coming back again?”

            “Um, he said he’d be gone for a week, and that was, um, oh, a week ago!  Wait, that means he could be coming back any time!”

            “Good!  This week has been a nightmare without him!”  Michael scowled as he got into the secure cabinet and readied shaving supplies.  “Your caretakers this week are all getting reprimanded!  For the love of God, you are not that difficult to take care of!  Luc and Raph and Gabe and I have all taken care of you, and none of us had any trouble at all!  I would keep you in a heartbeat!”

            “I did have fun, staying with you,” Castiel confessed.

            Michael smiled brightly.  “Of course you did!  And I loved having you, Cas!  I didn’t want you to leave.”

            “I remember.”  Castiel rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed.  “You moped and didn’t operate at peak efficiency for a week afterwards.  Naomi and the handlers were throwing a fit!”

            “Never mind that, it still proves my point that all you need is a little attention and patience.  I wish I could just keep you permanently!”  He quickly applied shaving cream to Castiel’s face.  “Your... condition, it’s not something that the general public is aware of.  They know about the accident, but not how it’s affected you.  So they come in here and all they know is that you’re a genius who can be eccentric and somewhat scatterbrained.  Even your bodyguards like Winchester aren’t given the full truth until after they meet you, so we can gauge their reaction to you.  So it’s a shock, and then a lot of them end up resenting the extra effort that caring for you entails.”

            Castiel didn’t say anything.  He held still, letting Michael shave him.  Then, at Michael’s urging, he changed out of his work clothes and into the suit Michael had provided.  “You look very nice,” Michael told him, adjusting his tie.

            Castiel frowned down at himself.  “I don’t understand.  Why is men’s fashion layered like this?  A shirt under a tie under a jacket and then my trench coat?”

            “You can take the trench coat off when it’s time for your part of the demonstration.”

            “I’d rather leave it on.  I like it.”

            Michael smiled.  “Then you go right ahead and keep wearing it.  Whatever you want.  But Castiel, this is very important.  You need to keep in the simulation environment and not try to experiment this time, alright?”

            “Alright.”  Michael was right, of course.  Michael usually was.  “When can I go back to my lab?”

            “As soon as we’re finished, the guards will bring you back.  And if Winchester comes back tonight, we’ll all rest a little easier.”  Michael hugged him.  “Come on, just be that brilliant self you always are!”

            “It seems redundant to try to be who you already are?”

            Michael actually chuckled.  “There’s that snark!  It’s nice to see you back to normal, Cas, but I do so love your spirit.”

            Raphael met them at the elevator and fussed with Castiel’s hair.  Lucifer met them in the secure section and re-adjusted Castiel’s tie.  By the time Gabriel jogged over to join them near the elevators to the public areas, he only nodded in approval.  Apparently, Castiel’s appearance now met all of their standards.

            The group quickly reached the auditorium, ready for the presentations to begin.

            No less than three bodyguards were waiting. Michael whispered something to them, indicating Castiel.  Naturally, they were being instructed to keep close watch on Castiel.  Of course.  And it wasn’t even entirely to protect Castiel from the delegates.  He’d gotten lost in his thoughts more than once and would have walked right off the stage if he hadn’t been caught.  Once, he’d actually done it.  Fortunately, the prospective clients had laughed it off, but it could have gone very badly.  Prospective clients were never told the truth about Castiel’s condition. Naturally.  He was, after all, the weak link in the Angeli Quinque network.

            Castiel wished Dean was here.  Dean would have known what to say to calm him.  These demonstrations always made him so nervous, even without the history he had with Huis.  That was precisely why he got lost in his thoughts.  Science was so much easier than dealing with people, especially large groups of potentially-unfriendly people like this.

            Oh, they were moving now.  Gabriel, the last in line ahead of Castiel, had thoughtfully reached back and caught Castiel’s arm, pulling him forward and out into the stage.  As usual, the men and women in the auditorium ooohed and aaahed, standing to clap at the sight of the Angels.  That was the same for everyone, regardless of where they were from.  Even completely recovered after a good night’s sleep and unjacked, the Angels drew attention to themselves.  The slight golden sheen to their skin wasn’t that visible.  The thin ring of electric blue that constantly surrounded their irises wasn’t obvious except in close proximity or low lighting. But the jack port each Angel had in his temple, and especially the exposed gold-plated engraved titanium plate that took up nearly a quarter of their craniums, gave away their status at a glance.

            Naomi, the Lead Handler and Corporate Spokesperson for Angeli Quinque, was already speaking.  “While it’s clear that these men need no introduction, I would like to introduce the heart and soul of Angeli Quinque.  First, you all already know the Angel Michael, our Lead Negotiator from our Diplomacy section, who laid the groundwork that brought you all here today.”

            Michael smiled and waved as the crowd applauded.

            “Next, the Angel Lucifer, our Lead Defense and Security Coordinator from the Defense section.  You have recently had an opportunity to witness his abilities first-hand, helping end your civil war.  While most people think of Angel Michael as the master of peace and Angel Lucifer as the master of war, and that is certainly true, what many do not realize is that Angel Lucifer is also our Secondary Negotiator.  While sometimes war is unfortunately necessary, when Angel Lucifer steps in his goal is always to bring an end to hostilities, clearing the way for Angel Michael to take over and negotiate peace, just as he did in your own country.”

            More applause.  Lucifer nodded and smiled.

            “The Angel Raphael, our Lead Financial Manager from the Finance section, is another you are already familiar with, as he works out contracts for Angeli Quinque’s services.  Angel Raphael handles finances and trade all over the world and is the single biggest factor in our current global economic prosperity.  Along with working hand-in-hand with Angel Michael to facilitate trade agreements between nations, he also works with Angel Lucifer to hammer out defense contracts.”

            Raphael gave a rare smile, acknowledging the applause.

            “The Angel Gabriel, our Lead Telecommunications Specialist from the Information section, is widely referred to as ‘The Trickster,’ but this is a misnomer,” Naomi continued.  “Angel Gabriel is our master codebreaker, capable of breaking through even the toughest of cyber security protocols.  He is the silent watcher that many find intimidating because of that same silence.  But Angel Gabriel’s primary purpose is to provide the information needed by the others in order to fulfill their roles.  Contrary to popular belief, Angel Gabriel doesn’t actually spy on individuals. His focus is on global issues.  Angel Gabriel is the watchdog of Angeli Quinque, constantly on guard, working hard to not only gather information for our Research and Development section, but also to identify and prevent the sort of issues that could lead to war, to a collapse of negotiations, and to financial collapse.”

            “And I have a magnificent collection of porn!” Gabriel called.

            That produced a somewhat uneasy laugh. Michael sighed loudly.

            Naomi cleared her throat, shooting Gabriel a look before her professional face returned.  “And finally, we come to the single biggest reason that most nations first approach Angeli Quinque - our Research and Development section.  Our company has invented, produced, and distributed the technology that has enhanced transportation and communications, reduced pollution to almost negligible levels, cured diseases that were once terminal through the development of our patented nanite medical drones, purified water, and even greatly improved the nutritional value of the food we eat. And it’s all due to the brilliant mind of the Lead Researcher at the center of it, the Angel Castiel!”

            Castiel, knowing this was coming, had been forcing himself to pay close attention.  He put on his best professional smile and nodded.  As usual, the applause now was considerably louder than it had been for the other Angels.  He’d never been able to figure that out.  Yes, it was true that most nations approached Angeli Quinque because they wanted access to the Research and Development section, but really, all Castiel did was invent things or improve currently-existing processes.  It was the other divisions that made it possible to put what he came up with out into practical use.  Right now, Raphael was working out a trade agreement to have a factory built in Hong Kong that could mass produce a component Castiel needed in several different projects.  Lucifer would ensure the safe delivery of the finished components, Gabriel would keep an eye out for any potential issues and Michael would deal with any political problems. It was simple, and it was how Angeli Quinque functioned, what made them the top company in the world.  But of course, unless Castiel got back into his lab, his current projects would go nowhere.  Castiel glanced at the door.  The blue indicator was glowing brightly.  Perfect. His lab should be ready to go.  He needed to get back there, and...

            “No, Cassie,” Gabriel murmured.  The other Angel had hold of Castiel’s arm, was holding him in his chair as he started to rise.  “Stay here with us.”

            Oh.  The presentation.  That’s why he’d been locked out of his lab.  Castiel forced himself to pay attention.

            “It was then that Charles ‘Chuck’ Shurley came up with the idea that would change the world,” Naomi was saying.  “He took in a group of severely disabled children no one else wanted, because he saw their potential.  And although much has been said about the ethical considerations involved with doing this kind of highly experimental surgery on a group of anencephalic infants, no one could argue with his results.  The technology that was already widely in use to allow cybernetic apes to perform dangerous jobs was adapted for these infants, replacing the undeveloped parts of their brain with powerful computers and allowing the remainder of their brains to grow and develop naturally around them.  The result was a true hybrid of man and machine, fully integrated and molded into their specialized roles.  Their bodies were adapted to be able to process massive amounts of data.  Existing nanite technology was utilized to supplement their body’s natural cooling ability, allowing their processors to be able to function without overheating and damaging their human components.  And other specialized nanites were used to accent their nervous systems, using every neuron in their bodies to its fullest potential to expand human minds like never before.  The Angels were born, and Shurley’s new company, Heaven’s Angels, quickly became the foremost in the world.  The combined powers of our six Angels drew people together like never before.  The Angels could all but erase national boundaries. They were absolutely impartial, able to negotiate treaties, trade agreements, even cease fires as no one else could.  Technological improvements and advances were marketed for the betterment of humanity as a whole rather than profit, information was freely shared, and the eyes of the entire world were opened to Shurley’s ideas.  Within five years, world peace went from a pipe dream to a real possibility!”

            “Shurley is called the God of the Modern Age because his genius anticipated and worked to prevent every possible problem.  He foresaw, for example, the single biggest issue for our Angels - overload.  Because our Angels utilize their entire nervous system, the potential for them to become overloaded was very high.  Overload is a dangerous state.  What happens to their nervous system is much like a massive seizure.  The Angel becomes completely incapacitated, their nervous system clashing with their computer brains, creating a cascade of errors that only a complete reboot can correct.”

            That wasn’t exactly true, at least not the part about an Angel in overload being incapacitated.  But of course, Naomi wouldn’t tell prospective clients the real dangers of overload.

            “The only thing capable of rebooting an Angel in overload is another Angel,” Naomi continued.  “That is why a significant portion of their cybernetic brains is largely unreachable to the Angel, because it is specialized exclusively to be able to control another Angel.  Each Angel was designed and developed to be a control for another.  Angel Michael is the failsafe for Angel Raphael.  Angel Lucifer is able to stabilize Angel Michael.  Angel Gabriel balances Angel Lucifer, and Angel Castiel supports Angel Gabriel.”

            Her expression grew serious, just as it always did when she reached this part of her presentation.  “Our sixth Angel, the Angel Samandriel, was designed to balance Angel Castiel and be balanced by Angel Raphael.  But when he was lost in a terrible accident, Angel Castiel was left without a failsafe.  The tragic loss of Angel Samandriel was a blow that resulted in a complete restructuring of the company.  Heaven’s Angels was reformed as Angeli Quinque.  The Angels themselves, due to their codependency on each other, needed a great deal of tireless work for this to happen.  They required new programming, complete with new safety protocols that limited their direct interaction with the public.  We are aware that this has resulted in a decrease in production.  And of course, our Research and Development section suffered the most from the loss.  Since he now has no control, out of necessity, Angel Castiel is now the only Angel with a hard limit.  Regardless of where he is on a project, once he nears capacity he is automatically shut out of his lab.”  She gave an understanding smile.  “We at Angeli Quinque are aware of the difficulty this has caused, the frustration and the complaints that our Lead Researcher is never allowed to work to his fullest extent. We understand that this has caused numerous delays, and even has resulted in some serious safety issues when projects Angel Castiel was directing off-site were suddenly halted mid-instruction without warning.  But without Angel Samandriel, the risk that Angel Castiel goes into overload is simply one we cannot take.”

            “So Angel Castiel can never work to his full potential?” someone in the crowd asked.  “Not even to prevent, say, a nuclear accident?”

            “There are ways to override the hard limit,” Naomi admitted.  “But this is only done in the most dire of circumstance, when stopping work represents an unacceptable and clear danger.”

            There were more questions, just like they usually were.  But Castiel had stopped paying attention.  As always, the mention of Samandriel’s name almost immediately had sent him deep into his memory files, accessing everything he could find dealing with the missing Angel.  Samandriel. Sweet, eternally cheerful, always smiling Samandriel, who had specialized in, of all things, Emotional Stability.  Samandriel hadn’t even had his own section, spending his time on his own, roaming between the five sections of the other Angels.  His only true job had been to make sure the other five Angels were emotionally stable.  Psychology. How ironic that the non-science of psychology had been the specialty area of the only one capable of bringing Castiel out of overload.

            And then Castiel stumbled over a file covered with his personal security codes.  Confused, he accessed it, and his eyes went wide.  Of course!  Project Samandriel!  The one project Castiel kept only in his own memory banks.  It was the only thing Castiel had that Angeli Quinque knew absolutely nothing about.  He quickly accessed it, looking over the project.  The plans seemed surprisingly stable, but completely lacked a proper interface. In fact, it seemed he’d made no progress or plans towards developing any type of interface at all!  Odd.  It wasn’t like him to neglect something so basic.  Well, that was easy enough to remedy.  He had a few things on file in his lab he could try.

            Once more, Gabriel’s hand tightened on Castiel’s arm.  “Sit down, Cassie,” he whispered.  “You need to stay here, focus on us!”

            Right.  The presentation.  He’d been about to wander off yet again, lost in his thoughts.  Even as Castiel nodded and settled back down, his brain was busy processing the file.  Project Samandriel.  If only he had some privacy, a way to work on his project away from the watchful eyes of Angeli Quinque!  It’s too bad he hadn’t found this file while he was at the cabin with Dean.  But why had he buried it?  The project was unsettling because he seemed to have multiple large, obvious gaps in his memory concerning it.  How had that happened?  This required extensive investigation.

            The lights dimmed, catching his attention.  Oh.  It was time for the demonstration.  Castiel returned his attention to the present, picking up the jack on the table in front of him and plugging it into the port at his temple.  Immediately, the familiar, pleasurable warmth spread through him, his nervous system instantly adapting to interface with the computers. Castiel smiled, knowing the other Angels were doing the same.  Being on the jack was designed to feel good precisely so the Angels looked forward to going to work.  Now that he was plugged in, it was almost like being in his lab.  Suddenly, his surroundings were filled with equations and geometric figures.  No one else seemed to notice, of course.  This was his personal interface, his cybernetic brain translating data into a format he could understand and manipulate.  In the lab, it would be expanded and projected on the holographic projectors, allowing him to manipulate things at will.  The same thing would happen here, once it was his turn for a demonstration.  But for now, only he could see it.

            Castiel frowned, looking the figures over.  In his lab, Castiel was used to working with figures and equations that required vast amounts of computational power, testing his processors to work them.  But what he was seeing now was the equivalent of basic addition.  What was going on?  Oh, right, the test environment.  Castiel suppressed a grimace.

            Meanwhile, the other Angels were starting the demonstration.  In the darkened room, holographic projectors were lighting up, filling the auditorium with images and sounds.  The Angels’ interfaces were being projected for the room, allowing outsiders a rare look at what each Angel saw and heard as he worked.  Right now, the room echoed with a babble of voices, dozens of them speaking in multiple languages, all conversing with multiple versions of Michael’s voice in their same language.  A floating holographic map lit up, displaying various countries around the world.

            “Angel Michael can carry on up to a dozen conversations simultaneously.  He is fluent in every known language and has a full understanding of cultural expectations,” Naomi was explaining.  “He is the ideal negotiator.  He’s also qualified to offer leadership support...”

            Right, the presentation.  Castiel tuned her out.  He knew all about how Michael could speak anyone’s language and knew how to lead, Lucifer knew the best way to fight battles, Raphael was a whiz with trade and finance and Gabriel was a master codebreaker.  He focused unhappily on his own test environment.  For his part of the presentation, he was supposed to put together one of his earliest inventions, a holographic hover car.  The things were in widespread use all over the world, and simplified to the point that any mildly-competent barely educated mechanic could put one together.  It was so boring.  He idly put the car together, pulled it apart and put it back together again. Two-point-four seconds.  That was how long it took him to put the car together from scratch.  It apparently was very exciting to clients and investors, but he couldn’t suppress a yawn.

            Bored, Castiel peeked into his Project Samandriel files again.  How could he have missed designing a suitable interface?  There was no getting around the main components of the project.  He’d already set up the vast banks of computers and components he needed, stealthily manipulating his fellow Angels to help him set aside portions of unrelated projects all over the world.  Project Samandriel didn’t exist in any one place. Instead, it had been hidden away, buried in seemingly-redundant files and components that only the closest of examination could find.  Gabriel, he was sure, could find the files in the off-site computers if he looked, and probably link them back to the individual components as well.  But that was the level of scrutiny it would require. No, the majority of his secret project was well hidden.  But the lack of an interface was a problem.

            Castiel’s eyes idly wandered over the crowd and fell on a gleam of gold on the wrist of one of the delegates.  It was one of the ultra-modern high-tech wrist phones that had recently started to come back into fashion.  That was an idea.  What about a wristband interface?  Small, portable, easy to hide in plain sight...  That was perfect!

            Shunting the car aside, Castiel altered the test environment and brought up a basic smartwatch, absently overriding the test environment protocols and bringing up the specs from the Angeli Quinque computer banks. He studied them, causing the image of the device to spin so he could view it from all angles.  Who had designed this?  It was horribly inefficient!  Castiel went to work, hacking through the specs and tearing out everything slow or redundant.  Then he checked the figures.  He could, he realized, increase the capacity by at least 30% with some simple modifications. That would be sufficient for his needs with Project Samandriel.  Perhaps if he...

            _“Castiel? What are you doing?”_

            Castiel startled at Michael’s voice, blinked, and realized with dismay that his work was visible, being broadcast over the holographic projectors to the delighted crowd.  They were on their feet, seeing the glowing new specs with the words “30% capacity increase” and cheering.  Castiel cringed.

            Naomi’s smile was clearly pasted on, but her voice was light as she quickly switched off the holographic projectors. “Although our Lead Researcher appears to be breaking rules yet again, and I’ll have to ask that this new smartwatch design is something that doesn’t leave this room due to copyright violations? I believe it’s clear just how well our Angel Castiel can do his job!  Now that you have seen what our five Angels can do for you, on behalf of Angeli Quinque, I would like to formally invite you to join our family.  Angeli Quinque, worldwide, here for the betterment of the planet!”

            More applause.  The holograph had thankfully switched off, hiding what he was doing before anyone could look too closely at it.  Castiel swallowed hard as he removed the jack.  _“Sorry,”_ he sent.

            _“Don’t worry about it,”_ Michael returned.  _“Gabe, keep an eye on their communications, make sure that no one shares that smartwatch design.  Great idea, though, Cas.”_

 _“I can certainly work with it!”_  Raphael actually sounded appreciative.  _“Smartwatches are becoming popular again.  Market’s wide open for that level of efficiency.  Good to see you’re back to your old self again!”_

            Castiel relaxed a little.  Everyone had seen a smartwatch design, and thought nothing about its real purpose.  Project Samandriel was still a secret, for now.


	7. Chapter 13 - Security Protocols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel makes his case to have his security protocols raised after Michael orders him to comply with the demonstration for the Huis delegates

            “No!”

            Gabriel sighed.  “Cas...”

            “I said no!”  Castiel angrily kicked at the wall.  The other four Angels had been waiting, catching him just outside of his lab to give him instructions he’d never imagined he’d get.  Castiel was furious.  “You can’t ask me to do a demonstration for delegates from Huis, of all places, especially without Dean!  Why can’t it wait until he gets back?”

            Michael was rubbing at his temples.  “Cas, listen to me.  Huis is a nation that I have been working for a very long time on getting into the Angeli Quinque family...”

            “Family!” Castiel spat.  “That’s funny, Michael.  What do Angels know about family, huh?  We haven’t been brothers since Samandriel...”  He grimaced, clutched at his own hair, and paced in a small circle.  “Listen, even if Dean was here, I’d be upset about this.  But to ask me to do a demonstration for them without him, after what they tried?!”

            “That wasn’t these delegates!  That was the rebel faction that overthrew their government.”

            “I don’t care!  And I don’t have time for this anyway.  Why can’t you just tell these Huis delegates that I’m busy?”

            Lucifer shook his head.  “This isn’t you, Cassandra.  What the hell happened back at that cabin?  You haven’t been right since you got back!”

            “Luc’s right,” Raphael agreed.  “You’re defiant, you’re snarky, and your work is suffering! You’re still in your lab the entire time you’re allowed just like always, but I’m barely getting any saleable product!  Castiel, what are you doing all this time in your lab?”

            Uh oh.  “Research!” Castiel said quickly.

            “Research?”  Gabriel cocked an eyebrow.  “Your requests for data from my section have slowed to a trickle!”

            “It’s applied research, alright?!  Holy shit, Gabe, do I question how you do your job?!”

            Mistake.  Now all four of the other Angels were looking hard at him.  “What is with your language?” Michael asked.  “And Castiel, I don’t think I have ever heard you shorten one of our names before!”

            “I have,” Lucifer called.  He was looking hard at Castiel.  “But not since before Samandriel died!”

            “Well, if that doesn’t prove my point, nothing does!” Castiel yelled, thinking fast.  “All of this stress, it’s getting to me!  And now you bunch of assbutts want me to go out on stage in the auditorium like one of dad’s cyborg monkeys and perform?!”

            “Alright, that’s enough!” Michael exclaimed. “Castiel, this is not optional. We need this to happen.  They’re not signing without a demonstration, and you are the one they most want to see in action!”  He shook his head.  “Do you know that they actually said that the primary job of the rest of us is to support you?”

            Gabriel laughed.  “Oh, isn’t that precious?  I’ll remember that one!”

            “Look, I have no control over what the public thinks, alright?” Castiel snapped.  He ran a hand through his own hair and winced when he encountered a snarl.

            Gabriel stared.  “Didn’t anyone comb your hair this morning?”

            Castiel thought for a moment.  Then he shook his head.  “No, I lost my comb.  Sorry. I’ll ask my caregivers to bring me another one tomorrow.”

            Lucifer swore.  “This is what comes of assigning caregivers instead of a real bodyguard! Why Winchester worked so hard to keep Bartholomew away is beyond me, but look at this!”  Lucifer pointed accusingly at Castiel’s hair.  “It’s snarled here, too!  Hold still, I’ll get it.”

            “Ok, this is too much,” Raphael declared as Lucifer went to work on Castiel’s hair.  “His caregivers can’t even comb his hair?!  That does it!  I’m taking him back to my section with me.  I’ll care for him until Winchester gets back.”

            “No, I’ll take him,” Michael countered.  “I already have a room ready.  You’ll love it, Cas, I even had it painted blue for you!”

            “You two will be too busy with Huis,” Gabriel argued.  “I was already planning to take him once I knew Winchester was going away.  Cas, I’ll come get you tonight.”

            “Like hell you will!” Lucifer immediately protested, finishing with Castiel’s hair.  “Assuming Huis decides to sign, all three of you are going to have your hands full. I’m the logical choice!”  He smiled at Castiel.  “I’ll come get you for supper.”

            “I already told you I have a room ready,” Michael insisted.

            “And I already told you I’ve been planning to keep Cas since I found out Dean was leaving!” Gabriel countered.  “I’ve already got everything set up.”

            “I’ve got a room, too!” Raphael protested. “And I said I’m taking him first.”

            “We all have rooms, Raph, but you and Mike and Gabe are going to be too busy!”

            “Raph and Mike will be busy, but I’ll have plenty of time to care for him.”

            “Raph will be busy, yes, finishing up those trade agreements.  But once the delegates sign, I’ll be free to keep Cas.”

            “Cas is more important than any trade agreement! I assure you, I won’t be too busy to care for him!”

            “You’re all going to be busy!  I’m telling you, I’m the logical choice!”

            “Stop fighting over me!” Castiel complained.  “You know the handlers aren’t going to let any of you have me anyway because your work always suffers when you take care of me. I’m fine with my temporary caregivers.”

            That earned him four doubtful looks.  “Fine,” Michael sighed.  “But one more issue, and you’re going to Luc’s section with him until Winchester comes back.  Raph, Gabe, are we in agreement?”

            “I’m visiting every day!”

            “We all visit every day, Raph,” Gabriel reminded. “We do that even when he’s got a steady bodyguard!”

            Raphael acknowledged this with a nod.  “Then I agree.”

            “I do as well.”

            “Hot damn!  You and me, Cassie!”

            “Only if there’s another issue.”

            “Yeah, no stealing him!”

            “I’ll be watching you, Luc.”

            “Of course!”  Lucifer smiled brightly.  Castiel couldn’t help but smile back.  He hated to impose on the others, but he couldn’t deny he was much happier with them than alone with his temporary caregivers.

            “Luc will take good care of Cas, but we need to get back to the main issue here,” Raphael began.  “Like it or not, we do have a lot of pre-conceived public notions that we have to deal with.  But we cannot forget the end goal!  Remember, dad had a specific goal in mind when he made us!”

            “World peace,” Lucifer sighed.  “Dad’s one great dream.”

            “And it’s a dream that is one step closer to reality if we can bring Huis on board!” Michael insisted.  “The bottom line is that you _will_ do this, Castiel.  It’s a direct order!”

            “Alright!  I’ll do it, but _when_ something goes wrong, it’s all on your head, Michael!”

            “I’ll accept that.”

            Castiel shook his head, disgusted.  “When is this thing?”

            “I’m holding off as long as I can, but it’s got to be before the end of the week.”

            “Before the end of the week?!  Dean won’t be back before then, Michael!  You’re throwing me to the wolves without my bodyguard!”

            Michael’s face lost all humor.  “Just be at the demonstration.”

            “I will, under protest!”

            Michael stormed off, heading for the elevator. Raphael shook his head, glowered at Castiel in disapproval, and followed.

            “You know, you really are being a bitch about this, Cassie,” Lucifer began.  “Mike’s been busting his ass with these people!  He stalled as long as he could, but all they want is you and they’re not willing to wait until Winchester’s back!”

            “Yeah, well, maybe I’m getting a little tired of everyone wanting me?” Castiel grumbled crossly.  “Especially after what those rebels from Huis tried!”

            “After what they tried, Lucifer wiped them out to the last man,” Gabriel reminded.

            “I know,” Castiel sighed.  “But why do I have to perform for them now?  Who cares what they want?  What about what I want?!”

            “What do you want, Cas?” Gabriel asked.

            “You know damned well what I want!”

            Lucifer scowled.  “I’m not raising your hard limits on your jack!”

            “You don’t understand!” Castiel yelled, frustrated. “What I’m working on, the current levels aren’t enough!  And we all know that you’ve been keeping me at well below my capacity!”  He indicated his eyes.  “Look at me!  You can still see the natural blue in my irises because my indicator is only at seven-eights!  And I cannot work like this anymore, alright?!  I lost too much time already due to recent events.  And you heard Raphael, how I’m barely producing any useable product?  I need to be able to focus on my work!  And that is very hard to do when I’m so severely limited!”

            “You’re limited precisely because of those recent events, Cas,” Gabriel reminded.  “Because of what happened to you afterwards!”  He spread his hands towards Castiel.  “You were in such bad shape, Cassie!”

            “This is almost worse!”  He looked pleadingly at Lucifer.  “You can raise my security limits and let me work to full capacity. Do it tomorrow, just for one day, so I can finish my work!  Please, Lucifer!  Let me off of my fucking leash!”

            Lucifer and Gabriel both went wide-eyed.  “Cas, you’re really upset about this!” Lucifer exclaimed, moving to embrace Castiel.  “Listen, if it’s that important to you, I’ll raise your limits.”

            “Lucifer, are you out of your mind?!” Gabriel yelled. “He’s kept at seven-eighths because he’s already proven himself capable of pushing through that last eighth!  And if he goes into overload, without Samandriel we can’t...”

            “Dammit, Gabe, would you look at him?!” Lucifer yelled. He was holding so tightly to Castiel now it was almost painful.  “You want to go to Mike about it, rat me out?  You go for it!  But you told me yourself just this morning that Cas hasn’t been the same since he got back from the cabin.  And why, exactly, was he at that cabin in the first place?!”

            Gabriel flushed.  “Luc, you cannot raise his security limits out of some misplaced sense of guilt!”

            “Watch me!”  Lucifer cradled Castiel’s head, and to Castiel’s shock, pressed a kiss into his hair.  “This is my fault,” he said quietly.  “We’re all trying to blame the Huis rebels, but it’s me!  I hurt you far more than they did.  And even though the physical wounds are all healed, you’re still suffering!”

            Castiel squirmed.  “Lucifer...”

            “I did this, brother,” Lucifer insisted. “And if raising your security limits will help it?  Then I’ll do it!”

            “Like hell you will!”  Gabriel was beside himself.  “Luc, can we at least talk about this?”

            Lucifer whirled, abruptly releasing Castiel to grab hold of Gabriel’s shirt and shove him roughly against the wall.  “Defense is _my_ division, and Cas’s security limits are strictly within my bailiwick! Not yours, not Mike’s, not Raph’s, mine! And I will not stand by and let my brother suffer because of me!”

            “For fuck’s sake, Luc.”  Gabriel’s voice was sorrowful.  “You’re putting him at risk!  You know that!”

            Lucifer seemed to wilt.  Gabriel pulled him into a close embrace, looking over his shoulder at Castiel.  “Is it really worth it, Cas?” he asked.  “Whatever you’re doing, is it worth all of this, and the risk you’re taking?”

            Castiel found he couldn’t meet Gabriel’s amber eyes. He felt clearer today than he’d felt in months, and he knew the reason why.  But Lucifer and Gabriel did not.  Gabriel, he knew, would give in if he pressed the issue.  Only fear had kept him fighting this long.  But even as guilt stabbed through him, Castiel steeled his heart. He studied the floor, swallowed hard. Then he nodded.  “Yes.  It is. Please, Gabriel?”

            Gabriel caught Lucifer’s head between his hands, looking the other Angel in the eye.  “Do it,” he said.

            Lucifer quickly pulled his wireless jack out of his pocket.  He plugged in and nodded.  “Alright. It’s done.  The security protocols are altered to increase your limit just for tomorrow, Cas.  That’s all I can get past the handlers.”

            Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank you.”

            “Cas?”  Gabriel was still looking at him when Castiel looked up.  “You be careful.  No matter what, you cannot go into overload!  We cannot lose you!”

            “I know.”  Castiel smiled at him.  “I’ll be careful.  Thank you again.”

            “Thank us by doing what you have to do and then coming to see us,” Lucifer ordered.  “Let us know that you’re alright!”

            “Just do me a favor and arrange for an accident with the security recordings?” Gabriel asked him, patting Lucifer’s back. “Just in case Mike decides to check where I am while Cas is in his lab tomorrow.”

            Lucifer’s eyes seemed to twinkle.  “You’re going to park your ass outside of it, too?”

            “What could be more fun?  Bring a deck of cards.”

            “Can do!”

            “Um, you two are seriously going to sit outside of my lab?”

            “And we’re not moving until you’re safely out,” Gabriel announced.  “We’re going to be right there in case anything goes wrong.”

            Guilt had already been tearing through Castiel. Now he felt like throwing up.  He forced himself to smile again, nodded, and walked the other two to the elevator.

            Once they were gone, Castiel headed back into his section.  The massive blue archway with the words “Angel Castiel” seemed to mock him.  He stared for a long moment at the blue angel on the door.  “I’m no angel,” he told the winged figure.  “Out of six, only one of us was actually an angel.  And it wasn’t me.  It was never me!”

            No answer from the silent figure on the door, of course.  Castiel shook his head and went back inside.

            The sound of Cher suddenly singing “If I Could Turn Back Time” from his cellphone was so welcome he nearly moaned in relief. Castiel quickly answered.  “Dean!”

            “Hey, angel.”  The familiar nickname made Castiel wince even as he smiled.  “Just checking in.  Did you eat supper?”

            “I...  Um, oh, yes! Baked potatoes, glazed carrots, and roast beef!  And I’m well hydrated too, Dean.”

            “Good job!  I’m glad they’re taking care of you.”  He paused.  “That other thing we talked about.  I know I’ve only been gone a day, but any progress?”

            “I may be able to make some fairly significant progress tomorrow.”  Castiel took a deep breath.  “Dean, Lucifer is raising my security limit.  That means I should be able to finish the central control framework!”

            “I have no idea what that means,” Dean complained. “But I don’t think I like your security limits being raised when I’m not there!  Cas, you better not be doing anything stupid!”

            “This project, I need my full computation ability to pull it off.  And now that Lucifer is going to let me have it for twenty-four hours?  I can do this, Dean!  I can make it work, and then...”

            “I know, angel.  I know.”  Dean’s voice was soothing.  “You just be very very careful, alright?  Don’t push too hard!  None of this is going to make any difference if you go into overload and blow your circuits out, now, is it?”

            “I know.  I’ll be careful.”  Castiel turned, facing into a corner, mindful of the security cameras everywhere. “Dean?  Thumb index pinkie!”

            Dean chuckled.  His voice sounded so warm.  Was he picturing what Castiel was doing right now, facing the wall with his hand against his chest in the symbol he’d shown Dean back at the cabin?  “And just so you know, I’m making progress here, too, with both projects.  I’ve got some real information on that hunt I was on.  And that other thing, the one we’re doing together?  It’s going to happen, angel.”

            “Oh, thank God!”  Castiel leaned against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief. “When?”

            “Not on the line.  I’ll tell you when I get back.  You just hang on!  You can’t give too much away, alright?  Watch your ass, and don’t do anything stupid!”  Another pause.  “Listen, I can’t call you for a while.  You know why.”

            Castiel did indeed know why.  “Alright,” he said through numb lips.  “But don’t you do anything stupid, either, Dean!  Please be careful?”

            “I will, and you do the same.  Bye, Cas.”

            “Goodbye, Dean.”  Why did that feel so final?

            He barely slept that night, had to be reminded by his temporary caretakers to eat and change his clothes.  Between his anxiety over Dean and his eagerness to get started, Castiel was a bundle of nerves.

            Sure enough, both Lucifer and Gabriel were already camped out in front of his lab door.  Both looked up and grinned at him when he approached.  He sighed.  “I’ll be fine.”

            “And we’ll be here to greet you when you walk out of there, perfectly fine,” Lucifer announced.  Gabriel just smiled and waved.  He’d already dealt a hand of whatever card game the two had decided on to pass the time.

            Castiel slunk past, feeling guilty.  It was a relief when the lab doors closed behind him. Castiel’s staff was waiting for him, buckling him into his antigrav belt and handing him his wireless jack.  Then they headed out, giving him the privacy he preferred.  Castiel plugged in his jack, locked his doors, and activated his lab.  The familiar hum of the anti-gravity generators he’d installed in his lab began, the belt lifting him up as he accessed the lab environment.

            The powerful computers whirred to life. Suddenly, Castiel was floating in a universe populated by geometric shapes, equations, and figures.  He wasted over three hours of precious jack time, inspecting, adjusting, and approving some quick projects from his outside labs to send to Raphael.  That should make him happy.  Now to get to the serious work.  Castiel quickly accessed the Project Samandriel files.

            Now the computers were really working.  The whine of the coolant system kicked in, cooling down the processors as Castiel pushed them.  All around him, the numbers and figures flew by.  Castiel spun and twisted, moving them this way and that, combining and tearing apart figures and equations.  He was close.  He knew he was.

            In the corner of his vision, Castiel could see his indicator bar.  Already it was at two-thirds capacity, and visibly rising.  Alright.  He focused, feeling the familiar warmth as his augmented nervous system fell in line. But over and over again, each new configuration failed.  The answer was eluding him.  Castiel ground his teeth.  What was he missing?

            Time.  Speed. Distance.  Location.  Location!

            Instantly, the new configuration spun into existence. Castiel ran the testing protocols, frowning when three areas glowed red.  One was an easy fix.  Number two was harder.  It took him three tries before he got it.

            An alert sounded, drawing Castiel’s attention to his indicator bar.  To his dismay, he saw that he was nearing the top of his new security limits.  No!  He was so close!  “Computer! Override authorization Samandriel one seven!” he called.

            “Override accepted,” the computer voice boomed back. Castiel smiled.  After this, he was sure, Gabriel would scrub the last of Samandriel’s override codes from the computers, removing Castiel’s ability to override his security limits.  But for now, this code still worked.

            The third issue was another tricky one. Castiel worked frantically, ignoring the pounding on the door.  There. There!  He had it!  But already, Lucifer was trying to override the lock on his lab.  Castiel quickly threw another layer of security over it, but he knew he was no match for the two trying to get in.  Gabriel and Lucifer would break through, see what he was doing, and it would all be over.  Alright, then.  Now or never. “Computer!  Launch Project Samandriel!”

            “Project launched.”

            Castiel’s processors hummed, and his vision went white from the effort.  The warning chimes were going off.  He was nearing overload, but it was done.  Now all that was left was to hide his tracks.  Castiel immediately shut down his simulation, saved it to his internal memory, slapped multiple layers of security over it, and shunted it deep into his memory banks.  He looked around, and to his dismay, saw Dean’s face.  Dean’s picture was being projected through his interface, appearing to be floating near him in the lab.  Why was...?  Oh! The project interface!  He’d left the information on the project interface on his lab computers!  Lucifer and Gabriel would be in any minute.  He had no doubt they’d jack in to his lab, check up on what he’d been doing. They couldn’t see this!

            “Computer!  Delete all records of project interface!”

            “Deletion in progress.”

            Pain, sharp stabbing pain.  What was happening?  And then he realized.  He’d just ordered his powerful lab computers to delete _all_ records of the project interface.  And he was still on the jack!  The computers were digging through his personal memory files, obediently deleting every record relating to the project interface, tearing out his memories and leaving him whimpering, dazed, and completely confused.  It was all he could do to disconnect.  He went limp, the world fading to gray just as the door disintegrated into splinters as a golden figure smashed through it.  “Cas!  Gabe, shut it down, now!”

            “I’m on it, Luc, just catch him!”

            A moment later, the antigrav generators were shutting down, lowering him gently into a pair of arms.  “Cas!  _Cas!”_

            “He’s not in overload, what happened?!”

            “I don’t know!  Computer, replay last entry!”

            “No record available,” the computer announced.

            Lucifer sputtered.  “What do you mean, ‘no record available?’  How can there be no record available?”

            “Let me see if I can hack this stupid thing and figure out what happened.  Luc, get him out and get the handlers!”

            “On it!”

            Castiel barely registered any of it.  He felt himself carried, and then he was sinking down onto his bed.  “Cas? Come on, brother, please, open your eyes!”

            “L-Lucifer?”  Castiel blinked his eyes open, saw the pinched, frightened face of the other Angel, and frowned.  “What happened?”

            “What do you remember?”

            He thought for a moment.  “It’s strange.  I think something’s corrupted my memory banks, Lucifer.  My memories are full of holes!”

            “What’s the last clear thing?”

            “I remember being at the cabin and working, but I don’t remember coming back home.  And there’s gaps from that point on.”  He looked around, seeing his room, his bed.  “How did I get in here?”

            “Something happened in your lab.  Gabe’s trying to figure out what went wrong!”  Lucifer’s eyes suddenly lost focus.  _“Gabe, watch your ass!  Something’s corrupted Cas’s memories.  Might be a virus of some kind!”_

 _“Off the jack, Gabriel, now!”_ Michael ordered.  _“Have your techs run a full antivirus check. No one goes on the jacks until it’s done.”_

            There was a quick murmur of assent through Castiel’s interface.  He groaned. “Dammit, I’ve got work to do!”

            “I think it’s best you’re done working for now.” Lucifer paused.  “Cas, do you remember why you went to the cabin?”

            Castiel looked away.  Then he nodded.  “Yes.”

            Lucifer grimaced.

            Castiel reached out and gripped the other Angel’s shoulder.  “I’m not angry at you.”

            “I’m angry enough at me for us both.  But thank you.”  Lucifer gripped Castiel’s hand.

            Castiel smiled at him, and then tilted his head, squinting in confusion.  “What’s this?” he asked.

            Fastened around his wrist was a band.  It featured a set of numbered buttons and a recessed dial. The dial was set to “on.”  Lucifer glanced at it.  “Oh, that’s something you came up with for yourself and your bodyguard. Tracking devices, disguised to look like regular smartwatches.  We all thought it was a great idea.  You don’t remember it?”

            Castiel shook his head, frowning at the wristband. “No.  I have no memory of this at all.”

            “Still a good idea.”  Lucifer smiled at him.  Then he slipped his arms under Castiel and lifted him up, cradling Castiel against his chest.  “Don’t you worry, brother,” he assured.  “I’m going to take you back to my section with me.  I’ll keep you safe until Winchester gets back.”

            “No you will not!”  Naomi had arrived with her handlers.  She firmly pointed at the bed.  “Angel Lucifer, put him down.  You know we need to run a diagnostics check!”

            “Fine,” Lucifer grumbled, reluctantly putting Castiel back down.  “Then I’ll take him when you’re finished.”

            “You will do no such thing!”  Her voice was firm, but her smile was gentle as she looked at Lucifer.  “I am aware that the other Angels will likely want him as well, and I will not have a squabble.  Nor will I have any of you staying here with him.  You know you shouldn’t have this much contact with another Angel when something’s happened anyway!  It's far too dangerous!  You are all returning back to your own sections and going back to work as soon as we’re cleared.”

            That earned her a scowl.  “I don’t like you!”

            “Don’t be a child.”  She calmly took Lucifer’s shoulders and steered him towards the door. “Back to your section.  The professionals are here.  Now go!”

            Castiel grimaced. Already, the handlers were pushing him down, shoving their diagnostic jack into his plate.  He sighed, bracing for yet another invasive session of medical and technical care while Lucifer angrily stormed out.  Naomi was right, of course.  She always was.  Still, Castiel wished she’d let Lucifer take him.  His temporary caregivers did an adequate job, but they only did what was required and then left as quickly as they could, leaving Castiel alone in his section.  And now that Naomi was ordering the other Angels away, it was going to be very lonely. He could hardly wait until Dean returned.


	8. Chapter 12 - Packing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just before Dean leaves for his trip, he and Castiel have a heart-to-heart and discuss their plans

            Dean carefully tightened the straps, closed the lid of his suitcase and zipped it shut.  The sound made Castiel flinch.  He’d been sitting where he was, quietly watching Dean.  His eyes had followed Dean’s every move as his bodyguard had gone about the business of packing.  Dean, for his part, had kept his gaze intentionally down.  He’d refused to meet Castiel’s eyes.  Now he simply stood there, staring down at his luggage.

            “How long will you be gone?” Castiel asked, finally breaking the silence.

            “At least a week,” Dean replied without looking up.

            “Alright.”

            Once again, silence fell.  In the cabin, the two of them had spent long hours in silence. But there, it had been a content, companionable silence.  This silence was awkward, with a promise of pain.

            “I’m coming back,” Dean called.  “I promise, alright?  It’s just for a week!  And I have to do this, Cas.  I need to find out what happened to my brother.  And I need to set up that other thing, what we talked about.”

            “You don’t have to lie, Dean.”  Castiel’s voice was quiet as he watched Dean’s back. “I never should have asked you for that, and it was just as wrong of you to tell me you’d do it.  This isn’t something that can be changed.  It’s best we both accepted that.”

            Dean finally turned around.  The green eyes had an odd look in them.  “We’re going for a walk,” he announced.

            Castiel blinked.  “Now?”

            “Now.”  Dean was already on the phone, contacting security, getting them to set up the perimeter. Then he moved to Castiel.

            Now it was Castiel that wouldn’t look up. Dean caught his chin, raised Castiel’s face until he had to look at him.  Then he smiled.  “You ready for a walk with one hell of a good-looking guy?”

            That brought a smile to Castiel’s face.  He nodded.  “Yes.”

            Ten minutes later, Castiel was dressed for the weather and heading through the gates of Heaven, moving out onto the street. Castiel’s heart was pounding.  The majority of his attention was fixed on his bodyguard as Dean hovered protectively.  Dean, he knew, wanted to talk.  And once they were far enough away from Heaven that Dean felt safe, he did exactly that.  “You know I won’t abandon you, right Cas?”

            “Yes,” Castiel replied.  “But I had no right to ask you to help me.”

            “Cas, you had every right to ask me to help you!” Dean exclaimed.  “Who else could you ask?!”

            “No one.  That’s precisely the point!”  Castiel absently kicked a bit of rubbish aside.  “I’m the Angel Castiel, Dean.  I’m the Lead Researcher of the Research and Development section of Angeli Quinque.  I’m the failsafe for Angel Gabriel.  Any one of those reasons means that I will never be allowed to just walk away!  If I try to run, my brothers will pool all their resources, use all of their combined power to find me and bring me back. And if you take me, well, you know the penalty for stealing an Angel!”  He shuddered. “They publicly shot that Huis rebel just yesterday!  That could just as easily be you standing up there if you try this!  It’s not possible, Dean!”

            “We won’t know that until we try it!”

            “What can one man do against all the might of Angeli Quinque?!”

            “Everything he can!  I will move Heaven and Earth to get you out of there, Cas, both in the literal and metaphorical sense!”

            “Heaven.”  Castiel sighed moodily.  “It’s ironic that it’s called that.  But this version of Heaven is Hell for me!  It’s a cage, Dean.  A golden cage that I’m locked inside of.  I don’t think the others are any happier than I am, but how would they know that?  The only thing they understand is working!  I need to get out, so I can get them all out!”

            Dean sighed.  “You know they won’t want to go.  They’re part of the problem, Cas.  You need to focus on you, alright?”

            Castiel shook his head.  “I can’t do that.  I have to try to save them, Dean!  I can’t just leave them behind.”

            “You may not have a choice.  Cas, you weren’t even back here a day before you were back in your lab, maxing out your time on the jack.  Not even one day!  And you’ve suffered for it, too.  You’ve lapsed back so much in such a short period of time, it’s sickening!”  Dean sighed.  “When you’re away from Heaven and everything associated with the company and you’re clear again, we can talk about it.  But the more you’re here, the more you lose.  Aren’t you afraid you’ll go back to what you were before the cabin?”

            “I’m absolutely terrified,” Castiel admitted.

            “Then there you are.  You need to reel it in, ok?  You can’t show too much or someone’s going to get suspicious.  They’re suspicious enough as it is!  You know the handlers kept you for an hour and a half after we got back?  I swear, they must have checked every circuit under your plate!  The other Angels and I waited the whole time, and I know they were wondering what was going on.  You should have seen the looks I was getting from them, especially Lucifer!  Then one of the handlers came out and I got told in no uncertain terms to go take a break.  And when I got back, all five of you were on the jacks!  I couldn’t believe it!  You know, I’d actually been thinking that maybe the other Angels cared about you after all, but that whole time, they were just waiting for you to come out so you could all get back to work.  And you haven’t been the same since!  Now the only time your head’s even remotely clear is in the morning, when your nervous system’s reset before your first jack time.  It's the only reason we can really have this conversation now!”

            Castiel had lapsed into a moody silence.  He traced the wristband he wore with a finger. “We never realized what we’d really lost when we lost Samandriel,” he said after a time.  “Without him to balance our emotions, we lost our humanity. We’re more machines now than men. We work at peak efficiency and we think that’s what happiness feels like.  And maybe I’m wrong?  Maybe the others are happy, but I’m not!  Not since I met you, not since I realized...  Realized everything that was missing in my life!”

            Dean had moved to Castiel’s left and had been gently crowding him.  Castiel absently shifted right, turning down a new street, still lost in his unhappy thoughts.  “I’m not sorry I made you realize it,” Dean announced.  “I’m just sorry it took someone like me to make you see it.  And I’m sorry it took this before we could be free to pursue it.”  Dean’s gloved finger touched the healing mark on Castiel’s throat.

            Castiel reached up, absently rubbed at the mark. “That proves the point, unfortunately. That happened because Gabriel wasn’t there.  Now Michael has ordered that no control Angel is allowed to leave Heaven when his counterpart is undergoing a known high processor use session on the jack. Lucifer never should have been dealing with that last battle in Huis without Gabriel!  But I’m Gabriel’s control.  What happens if he goes into overload and I’m not there?”

            “Good question.  Gabe’s such an idiot when he’s not in overload, I can’t imagine him violent! What’s he like when his eyes go red?”

            “They don’t go red, actually.  The colors, they’re consistent.  If Gabriel overloads, his eyes get a golden glow.”

            “So Mike’s go white, Raph’s go silver, and yours go blue?”

            Castiel instantly went silent, and Dean grimaced, realizing his mistake.  “Sorry.”

            “What happened the last time my eyes glowed blue won’t change just because we don’t talk about it.  When our nervous systems overload, we all, essentially, end up in a psychotic episode.  Gabriel’s the only control allowed to actually come into any sort of contact with his counterpart because Lucifer falls to pieces as soon as he sees him, as you saw.”

            “Yeah, and I won’t lie, that surprised the hell out of me!  That son of a bitch Lucifer, I get that he’s built for defense, but when he goes killbot, he does not screw around!  I really thought he was going to end me right there.  Then Gabe shows up, and he’s bawling like a baby!”

            “Well, it’s different for all of us.  Michael gets very emotional when he’s in overload.  He cries and begs for Lucifer, and he’ll suspect anyone near him of trying to hurt him.  That makes him the only one of us who actually resists his control.  It tends to give Lucifer a fairly bad headache. That makes him, well, cranky, so I try to avoid him.”  It also had a tendency to send Lucifer into pseudo overload, but Dean didn’t need to know that.  It wasn’t something anyone but the handlers were permitted to know.  “When Raphael goes into overload, he mostly just screams. He’ll sit and rock and scream, mostly Michael’s name.  It takes the handlers a long time to get him under control.”

            “And Raphael was the control for Samandriel?”

            “Samandriel used to just curl up and sob,” Castiel recalled quietly.  “I don’t remember much, but actually I don’t remember any reason Raphael couldn’t be with him.  In fact, I think...  We were all there?”

            “Ok, that’s weird, isn’t it?  The number one protocol they taught us about overload was to always keep you guys separated!  They said if you come into direct contact with each other, you’ll either hurt each other physically, attack each other over the jacks, or even set off some sort of chain reaction where you all overload!  So how could you all be there for Samandriel?”

            Castiel shrugged.  “Samandriel was built differently than the rest of us were.  He could get into all of our heads, remember?”

            “Eh, I don’t pretend to understand how your brains work.”  Dean shook his head.  “It is a little weird, though, isn’t it?  If it’s dangerous, then why are you pre-programmed to actively seek each other out when one of you overloads?”

            “It doesn’t matter.  After what happened to Samandriel?”  Castiel’s voice was quiet.  “There’s a reason that the handers actively separate us if one of us goes into overload.”

            Dean once again grimaced.  “Sorry.  It just seems weird is all.”

            “Well, Samandriel was a weird guy,” Castiel grumbled. “What do you expect from someone who specialized in psychiatry?  But you actually asked about Gabriel.  And Gabriel, well, um...”  He rubbed at the back of his neck.  “Gabriel has the largest collection of pornography in the world because when he overloads, he becomes very, well, loving, I suppose you would call it?  The handlers actually asked him to gather it specifically so I could access it, play it for him and let him, um, entertain himself.  So what we’ll do is I’ll link up with his mind and have him watch pornographic movies and, um, touch himself, you know, until he comes back to his senses.”  He cleared his throat.

            Dean had stopped walking, which forced Castiel to stop as well.  “Cas, you watch porn and whack off with Gabe to bring him out of overload?!”

            “No!  I’m his control, and I’m the only one who can safely reset his processors when he goes into overload without destroying his nervous system.  But that takes time.  The process is automatic.  As soon as Gabriel overloads, he starts screaming for me and I go on a wireless jack and actually jack into his mind.  Then my built-in processes reset all the cybernetic portions of Gabriel’s nervous system.  But the physical portion, the human parts of his mind are wrecked until that’s done. In Gabriel’s case, that translates as intense sexual urges.”

            “You mean he gets the hots for you?!”  Dean looked aghast.

            “No!  But we’re stuck together until he comes back to himself, so he wants me to, well, join the fun, I suppose you’d say.  So I relieve that by playing pornography for him.  I’m not watching it, Dean.  I can partition it off that much.  But I do have to hear him constantly telling me all his thoughts about it, because part of my mind has to support his until he regains control!  And trust me, there have been many, many times that I would have preferred to just watch the movies.  And I guess Gabriel thinks out loud when he’s in overload, because he has made more handlers quit than all the rest of us combined!”

            That made Dean laugh.  He started walking again, and Castiel absently followed. “Can I pry, ask what Samandriel used to do for you?”

            Castiel nodded.  “Going into overload, I don’t remember much for obvious reasons.  My brain was completely overwhelmed, all of my neurons overstimulated.  What I remember the most was being terrified.  And Samandriel used to play me music.”  He smiled.  “Samandriel had this huge music collection from all around the world.  Any music would do, but what I liked the most?”

            “Let me guess.  Classical?”

            Castiel’s smile widened.  “Everyone thinks that, but no.  Late twentieth century pop!”

            “What?!”  Dean made gagging sounds.  “Well, at least you got the right era, anyway.  Remind me to introduce you to late twentieth century classic rock!”

            “You like Cher,” Castiel pointed out.

            “I liked the song you gave me by Cher,” Dean corrected.  “That does not even come close to being the same thing.  But I suppose it could be worse.  The shit that passes for music nowadays makes the fillings in my teeth ache.”

            Castiel smiled.

            He and Dean had approached an alley. Already, Dean was looking around, checking for cameras and lookers-on.  Then he quickly pushed Castiel into the alley, and a moment later, Dean was kissing him.

            Castiel clung to Dean like a drowning man, kissing him fiercely back.  Dean laughed. He was so beautiful, the way the corners of his green eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way his freckled cheeks flushed when he laughed.  Castiel grabbed his arms and whirled him around, shoving Dean roughly against the wall and attacking him fiercely with kisses.  More laughter.  “Cas, calm down, buddy!  No need to beat me up!”

            “I can’t lose you, Dean,” Castiel whispered desperately.  “I can’t!”

            The green eyes softened, Dean’s hand rising to gently stroke his hat over his plate.  Castiel sighed and closed his eyes, leaning into the hand.  “You’re not gonna lose me, angel, ok?” Dean was saying.  “We got two things going for us here.  One, those friends I talked about?  They’ve got years of experience at getting around under the noses of Angeli Quinque.  If there’s anyone who could get an Angel out of that hellhole, it’s them!  And if that doesn’t work?”  He raised his wrist, showing off his wristband.  “We have a back-up plan!”

            “Don’t rely on Project Samandriel, Dean,” Castiel warned.  “It’s untested, it’s highly experimental, and worst of all, it’s not completed yet! And until it is, until I can launch it, you’re in danger, Dean!  What you’re trying to do could get you killed!  And if anything happened to you...?!”

            Dean caught Castiel’s head between his hands. “Hey, look at me, alright?”  Dean waited until Castiel met his eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to me. And I’m going to find a way to get you out of Angeli Quinque, but we need to start walking again.  Luc’s assholes are gonna get suspicious about how much time we’ve spent in this alley!”

            “Alright.”  Dean let him go, and Castiel obediently started walking again.  “You realize that I’m serious about the fact you can get killed? You can be executed in about a dozen countries in the Angeli Quinque network for stealing me, Dean, including the one we’re walking in!  Remember what happened after the restaurant to the rebels who survived?  Do you remember how that mob attacked them, and the police just stood back and let it happen?!”

            “Only too well.  And I saw the holo footage of them publicly shooting the guy who was flying their getaway vehicle, too.  Don’t care. Worth it.”

            “Bullshit!”

            “Whoa, Cas says a bad word, stop the presses!” Incredibly, Dean was laughing again. “Listen, angel.  Remember how we talked about free will?  Well, this is me exercising mine.  And you have to let me do it, alright?”

            Castiel frowned, but nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his trench coat.  He paused, letting Dean glare off some excited people snapping pictures of Castiel.  Then he started walking again.

            “So what, exactly, do you need to do with the project?” Dean asked.

            “I’m close to finishing,” Castiel reported. “The way I see it, there’s two issues. The first we talked about, velocity. I can’t find any way to make it work with stationary objects.  So it’s got to be objects in motion, fast motion.”

            “Over fifty miles an hour,” Dean recalled.

            “Yes, exactly!  And there’s another factor I haven’t figured out.  But I don’t know how I can do it, Dean.  That’s why the second issue is my security limits.  This project is scattered over multiple continents, buried inside of computer systems that are completely unrelated. To work on the project, I need to very carefully link those systems together.  And the only way I can keep Gabriel from noticing something like that is if I use the one computer no one can hack.”

            “Which is?”

            “This one.”  Castiel tapped the gold-plated titanium plate in his skull.  “Angels are cyborgs, living biological minds perfectly integrated with our implanted computers.  That means we’re all unique.  Our operating systems are compatible with the Angeli Quinque computers, obviously, but the basic OS is unique to our own individual thought patterns.”

            “Yeah, and that’s why other Angels people have tried to make won’t work,” Dean recalled.  “Even the ones who survive can’t function nearly as well as you guys, and none of them can hack into the AQ network.”

            “No one can hack us without access codes from Gabriel.  And it’s even harder for an actual Angel!  The only one capable of directly accessing an Angel is that Angel’s control.  And since I don’t have a control, it’s not possible to hack me.  The computer in my skull has the only copy of the control framework of the project.  To Gabriel or anyone else who may be watching, it looks like those computers powering the project are just accessing the Angeli Quinque network, just like a billion computers all over the world do every single day.  But those particular ones will interface directly with me, and that’s how I work on the project and how I will launch it.”

            “Out of your own head?!”

            “That’s right.”  Castiel absently turned as Dean moved around him, sending him down a different path away from the security perimeter.  “Once it’s launched, the whole thing will work automatically, dozens of different computers activating components in various projects all over the world.  I’ve even arranged for back-ups of every part of the system, just in case one of them should fail or go off-line.  But I can’t do anything about myself, and that’s the problem!  Working on the project requires a massive amount of processing time on the jack.  And I max out my security limits fast!  Over and over again, I’ve come so close, just to hear those stupid chimes, and next thing I know, I’m getting kicked off the jack!”  He kicked a hydrant in frustration.  “The only way I’m ever going to get this project off the ground is if I can somehow convince Lucifer to raise my security protocols.  Even one day might be enough!”

            Dean rolled his lips into his mouth and shook his head.  “I can’t help you there, buddy.”

            “I know.”  Castiel sighed.  “Now that Huis is in negotiations with Michael to join the Angeli Quinque network, that’s where the bulk of everyone else’s attention is focused.  And I’ve been freer lately to work on this project than I’ve been in months, which is a joke because I’m the biggest source of contention!”

            “They still want you, huh?”  Dean sighed when Castiel nodded.  “Of course they do.  It’s your inventions that increase everyone’s quality of life!  And that will mean more projects, more demands dumped on you, more more more.  I’ll say it again, angel.  Everyone around you just wants to use you!”

            “It’s what I am,” Castiel mumbled.  “I was built to be used like this.  But I’m tired of it, Dean.”

            “I know.  Let me work on a way to get you out of it, alright?”

            “Alright.”  The Heaven building was ahead, the Angeli Quinque banner snapping proudly above every corner of the roof.  The familiar figures of the white, red, silver, gold and blue angels flew eternally around an image of the Earth.  Beneath the flags, the snarling, demonic face of a gargoyle peered out.  “You know, it’s like a metaphor,” Castiel mused, looking up.  “The image of the five angels surrounding the Earth, but the gargoyles underneath are what the company is really like.”

            “That was deep.”  Dean held the door, ushering Castiel through.

            Castiel let Dean return him to his section, dread knotting more and more in his stomach with every step.  “You’re leaving now.”

            “Yeah.  But I’m coming back.  You know that, right?”

            Castiel nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

            Dean got his suitcase and wheeled it towards the door to discover Castiel was still standing in it.  He smiled.  “Let me out, ok, buddy?  I’ll come back.”

            “I know you will.”  Castiel did know.  He believed it, because he had to.  He stepped closer to his bodyguard, slipped his hand under Dean’s coat and pressed the ancient hand signal against his chest, out of view of the cameras. Thumb, index, and pinky fingers outstretched, middle and ring fingers curled down.  His eyes locked with Dean’s.

            “I know, angel,” Dean whispered.  He put his hand over Castiel’s under his coat for a moment, just looking into Castiel’s eyes.  “That’s something I’m going to do a lot of thinking about while I’m gone. You asked me if I could return it, and the answer is still yes.  But I won’t say the words until I’m sure.”  He smiled.  “You take care of yourself while I’m gone!  Don’t do anything stupid!”

            “You too, Dean.  And I won’t.”

            Dean smiled at him, nodded.  Then he was moving, wheeling his luggage after him to the elevator, unlocking it with a wave of his hand.  Dean looked back once, gave Castiel another smile as he went in. Then the doors closed, and Dean was gone.

            Castiel moved forward.  He put his hand on the elevator door, lowered his head and pressed his forehead against it.  Locked in again.  He couldn’t get out of his section unless someone opened this elevator or activated the security override on the stairs.  But the stairs only opened to authorized personnel in an emergency, and neither they nor the elevator would open for him.  Gabriel and Lucifer had worked hard to make sure Castiel couldn’t escape his section. The only way he could get out was if someone authorized let him out.

            If there was ever a need to confirm just how trapped Castiel really was?  The security measures designed to keep him locked in his section certainly fit the bill.

            Castiel took a deep breath, fighting back the awful feeling of being trapped, fighting back his fear.  Dean.  Dean would come back, and they would leave here together.  _Please,_ he prayed silently.  _Please, Dean, come back and get me out!_

            _“Gentlemen?”_   Michael’s voice, coming over Angel Radio.  _“Good news this morning!  I’ve had a breakthrough with the Huis delegates. They’re interested, and now they want a demonstration.  We can put one on for them at...”_

_“No!”_  Castiel surprised himself with the force of his denial.  _“I’m already in a backlog, Michael.  I cannot afford to put off lab time to perform before a bunch of stupid delegates, especially from Huis!”_

            Silence.  When Michael’s voice returned, it was stern.  _“We’ll talk about this tomorrow, Cas. I want all five of us to meet at your lab and discuss this face to face.”_

_“Fine.”_   Come and argue with me all you want, Michael.  The answer is still going to be no.  The turbulence of feelings that Dean’s departure had stirred in Castiel were making him bold, and cross.  He’d simply had enough.  The only way Castiel was going to do this stupid demonstration now was if Michael directly ordered him!


	9. Chapter 11 - Returning Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the blizzard finally over, Dean and Castiel must return to Heaven. Castiel asks Dean to make him a promise.

            Castiel lay on his side, staring out the window at the pristine scene outside.  Above it was a clear sky, filled with stars.  The light of the moon just before dawn turned the snowy landscape into a field from another world, deep blue beneath the endless sky.  He tightened his hand against his chest.  “The blizzard is over.”

            “Hmm?” came a sleepy voice from behind him.  The fingers threaded through Castiel’s own twitched, opened to press against Castiel’s chest and pull him back a little. The bed shifted a bit as weight moved behind him, shifting up to an elbow to peer out the window.  “Son of a bitch!  Looks like our vacation’s over.”

            “I don’t want to go back there, Dean,” Castiel whispered frantically.  “I can’t just go back on the jack and get back to work!  I can’t!”

            Dean stiffened.  “Cas?”

            “I know.  I don’t have a choice, but I’m tired, Dean!”  His eyes stared listlessly out the window.  “I can’t change what I am, but I’m so tired of everyone controlling me!  And you know, during the day, it’s not so bad.  I’m busy.  I can keep occupied, keep my mind from really looking at what my life is actually like. But at night, when I can’t sleep and I’m all alone with my thoughts?  That’s when I start to see how little control I have over my own life.  Either inadvertently or intentionally, everyone around me controls me!”  He closed his eyes.  “All those member clients?  They reap the benefits of Angeli Quinque.  We guide and direct them, balance their currency and support their military, enhance their technology and their lives.  And while it’s my brothers who make all that possible, the real lure has always been my technology.  I’ve designed everything from the cars we rode out here in to the locks on the doors to the generator supplying the power.  My advancements made our food more nutritious and easier to produce, purified our water.  We lost communications on towers that I designed!  But we’re also out here because Lucifer went to war for the Huis government after their rebels attacked us.  Dean, you were hurt by a weapon based off of one that I designed!”

            Dean sighed.  He reached up with his right hand and caressed Castiel’s face.  “I can do this because of you.  I nearly lost my arm!  I thought I would, but your nanites made the difference, Cas.  Your medical technology is the reason I’ve still got both of my arms!  And don’t start about me getting hurt.  I’m your bodyguard.  When I signed up for the job, I knew exactly what I was agreeing to, alright?”  He leaned over Castiel as Castiel pressed a kiss into his palm.  “What do you think is going to happen when we go back?”

            Castiel curled his hand around Dean’s, pressing it to his cheek.  “They’ll lock me right back into my gilded cage, and keep me there, keep me working, until there’s nothing left of my spirit anymore.  Because I’ll lose this, Dean.”

            “Lose what?”

            “This!”  He vaguely indicated himself with one hand.  “What I’ve regained, what came back to me just from being here with you. And I don’t even know what, exactly, it is that knocks me back down!  I think it’s just the day to day, you know?  The jack, the lab, the pressure, the stress of it!  I can’t take care of myself, everyone around me knows it, and I’m constantly reminded of it!  I feel like an imbicile, I’m treated like a special-needs child, and it gets to me, you know?  Out here, with you, I can be myself and no one cares, no one bothers me.  Dean, I have been happier these few days with you than I have ever been!  But back in Heaven?”  He closed his eyes.  “I’ll lose it all, Dean, I know I will!  Please don’t take me back!”

            Dean leaned over him.  “It’s just temporary, angel,” he soothed.  “Soon as I can, I’ll call my friends.  We’ll find a way to get you out of Angeli Quinque and hide you so deep in Purgatory that not even Gabe can find you!”

            “If you say so.”  Castiel wouldn’t, couldn’t, let himself believe that.  “I just don’t see how you can do it.  Even if you could get me out, it’s going to take a massive effort to get me to Purgatory.  You’re going to have to do so much work, Dean, and Gabe’s going to catch you!”

            “Yeah, I know.”  Dean pressed a kiss to the back of his neck.  “That’s why I can’t do it from inside Heaven, or through anything that goes through Angeli Quinque.  I’m going to have to take a bit of a sabbatical.”

            Castiel froze.  “What?”

            “You’re right.  This is going to take a massive effort, and the only way I’ll be able to pull it off without triggering any alarms at Angeli Quinque is if I can do it from inside Purgatory.”

            “Dean, you’re going to need clearance from Lucifer for that!” Castiel reminded, alarmed.  “How are you going to manage that?”

            “I’ll tell them the truth.  I’m going underground to try to find information about my brother.”

            Castiel grimaced.  How could he be so selfish, thinking only of his own pain, when Dean’s was still so raw?  He twisted around to face Dean.  “Dean, your brother is more important, alright?  If you have to choose...”

            “But I don’t!”  Dean closed the gap between them, kissing Castiel.  He left his hand on the side of Castiel’s face, the pads of his fingers touching the titanium plate and his thumb lightly stroking Castiel’s cheekbone.  It always made Castiel shiver.  No one had ever touched him so intimately on the one part of him that clearly identified him as something other than human, but to Dean, the gesture seemed as natural as breathing.  “If I’m right there in Purgatory with my friends?” Dean was saying, bringing Castiel back to the present.  “Then the Hunters can work on both of our problems!  And honestly, I think it’s probably the only way I’m going to make any real progress on Sammy anyway.”  He paused. “Cas, I think Gabe’s been blocking me.”

            “What?  Dean, that doesn’t make any sense!”

            “Actually, it’s the only thing that makes sense! Every time I seem to be getting close to something, I end up blocked.  I find an old file, it gets corrupted or deleted.  I crack a password, it gets changed.  And the only common denominator is Gabe!  So I tested it.  I created a file, put in some information I’d already found out about Sammy, set up a passcode, and hid it online.  Then I mentioned it to Gabe, asked him to help with the passcode.  Sure enough, he cracked the passcode, but when I looked at the file, it was blank!  Now, how does a file that only two people even knew existed get deleted, unless one of the two people is the one who did the deed?”

            “I can’t believe that, Dean.  Gabriel is your friend!  He’s been your biggest ally right from the start!”

            “Maybe.  Maybe not.” Dean lay back on his pillow, frowning up at the ceiling.  “I still haven’t quite figured it all out, Cas.  But my gut tells me that there’s something more to Angeli Quinque than what I’m seeing.  There’s a bigger force at work here.  And it feels like it’s right there, right in front of my eyes, and I’m just missing it!”

            “I don’t know what it could be.  You know as well as anyone how Angeli Quinque operates. We’ve each got our own specialty areas, and we’re co-dependent by design.”

            “And that’s the problem!  It’s like you said, most of the clients who come to Angeli Quinque come there for you.  The other four use you as their greatest bargaining chip!”

            “I don’t feel that the other Angels use me, Dean,” Castiel said slowly.  Dean seemed very sincere in what he was saying, but somehow, the bodyguard was missing something.  “They don’t push me.  If anything, it’s more of the opposite.  My brothers kind of, well, spoil me.”

            “Spoil you?!”  Dean scoffed.  “They treat you like the slightly-retarded problem sibling!  Gabe’s the only one who even treats you with respect!”

            “That isn’t true, Dean.”

            “At any rate, bottom line is, you’re the one who really puts the money in the Angeli Quinque coffers.  The other four just build off of you!”

            “No, that’s not entirely accurate.  Yes, most of the new clients do come for me, but outside of the initial increase to their standard of living that my technological advances make possible, I honestly can’t do much at all.  It’s the other four who really bring my ideas to life and make it possible for them to be utilized in the real world.  And their work, what they offer members, goes far beyond any technological breakthrough I can come up with!”

            “No one denies that,” Dean admitted.  “Once the member clients fall in line, Mike and the gang make their lives pretty nice.  But when you look hard at it?  Those clients are giving up their privacy, their security, their financial security, and their independence to Angeli Quinque!”

            “No they’re not!  Angeli Quinque provides leadership in all of those areas, but the member clients have to agree and sign off on anything we do.” 

            “All under the watchful eye of Angel Michael!”

            Castiel sighed.  “Is that where you’re going with this, how much control you think Michael has? He leads us, and you already said you don’t trust him.”

            “I don’t.  And I’ve never trusted moneymen like Raph, and whatever trust I may have had for Luc I lost!  I know, angel,” he sighed when Castiel tensed.  “Luc couldn’t help what he did when he was in overload.  But the shit he said, combined with what you told me?  I don’t know.  I still think there’s more to Angeli Quinque than meets the eye.”

            “And now we have to go back.”

            Dean smiled at him.  “Not right this moment!”

            Dean was kissing along his jaw, moving up it to nibble on his earlobe.  Castiel sucked in his breath.  “Oh, you bastard, this is cheating!”

            “Yup!”  Fingers were in Castiel’s hair, carding through it and making him shiver.  “Ooo, look at the little reaction I’m getting here! You like that?”

            “You know I do.”  He rolled over on top of Dean, kissing him with more than a touch of desperation.  After last night, Dean needed little preparation.  He inhaled sharply when Castiel entered him.  Then it was nothing but breathless moans, the bodyguard’s hips rising to meet his thrusts.  Castiel sank deep, plunging again and again into Dean.  Would this be the last time he could make love to Dean, have this beautiful man in such an intimate, personal fashion?  Didn’t matter.  For now, Dean was his.  He pumped hard into the other man, catching Dean’s hands and holding them tight, pressing them down on the bed.  Dean’s legs were around his waist, holding Castiel to himself.  His head was thrown back, green eyes wide with pleasure, baring his throat for Castiel to nibble and kiss and suck.  All too soon, that lovely heat splashed against Castiel’s belly and he came as well, his release deep inside of Dean.  It was all he could give Dean.  It would have to be enough.

            Castiel reluctantly pulled out.  He gathered his lover close, nibbled at Dean’s ear. “Will you be alright?”

            “Well, I won’t lie.  I’m definitely a little sore in the back door, if you know what I mean, but don’t you worry, angel.  I’m just fine.”

            Castiel paused.  “Um, I actually meant on this sabbatical, but I hadn’t realized I’d hurt you!”

            “You didn’t hurt me!” Dean laughed.  “It’s been years since I had anal sex, we’ve been at it like minks, and you are not a small man.  So yeah, I’m going to be a bit sore.  That’s normal, Cas.”

            “It is?”

            “Yeah.  It’s why we have lube, alright?  And as to the sabbatical, I’ll be careful.  I’ve got way too much to lose now not to be.”

            “I’ll protect you, Dean,” Castiel vowed.  “I’ll make Project Samandriel work, and if anything...  If anything goes wrong?”

            “I trust you, angel.  If the worst happens, I believe in you.  But I’ll be fine.  And some way, somehow, I will get you out!”  The green eyes were soft as they looked at Castiel. 

            Castiel kissed Dean’s lips, kissed his cheeks, his chin, his freckled nose, his forehead, his eyelids.  Dean laughed.  Castiel thought he could never get enough of Dean’s happy laughter. “Let me up, you sap!” Dean was saying. “It’s way early, but we’ve got a lot of packing to do.  Let’s get cleaned up.  Dibs on the shower first!”  Then he was up, running naked to the shower, leaving Castiel alone in the bed scowling after him.

            All too soon, they were packing to leave. Dean had seemed surprised when Castiel returned from the shower, clean, shaved and combed with his teeth brushed. “You remembered and did everything yourself!  That’s awesome, buddy!”

            Castiel blushed.  “Yeah.  I didn’t lose focus like I normally do.  Maybe I’m getting better?”

            “Maybe!”  Dean’s breath tasted like the mint mouthwash he’d used.  “And I love that you’re using the soap and shampoo I got you for Christmas. You smell so damned good!” 

            He kissed Castiel again, and Castiel hummed. “I’m sorry I made us skip breakfast.”

            “You won’t hear me complaining!  Morning sex beats breakfast most days anyway.  We’ll stop for an early lunch on the drive home, ok?”

            “Ok!”

            Then Dean was going out the door, dragging out their luggage, calling for the guards in the nearby cabin to come and help load the vehicles, and their impromptu vacation was officially over.

            Castiel looked around the cabin.  Everything he saw held memories of himself and Dean, but somehow, it wasn’t enough.  Castiel wanted something more, something that would last and let everyone know how much his time here had meant to him.  But he couldn’t do anything that would expose Dean.  What could he do?

            His eyes fell on the space beneath the bed.

            When Dean returned, he saw Castiel’s legs sticking out from under the bed.  Castiel was busy with a knife from the kitchen.  He smiled when Dean’s face appeared, peering under the bed.  “Whacha doin’ down here, angel?”

            Castiel gestured towards the baseboard on the wall just under the head of the bed.  “Come down and see!”

            Dean gamely climbed under the bed and examined Castiel’s work.  Castiel had been carving a series of letters.  “ACTHUMBINDEXPINKYDW,” Dean read.  “Ok, I’ll bite.  What’s this?”

            “A message.”  Castiel pointed at the letters.  “AC is me, Angel Castiel.  DW is you, Dean Winchester.  And thumb index pinky you already know.”

            A flush spread over Dean’s cheeks.  He gave a shy smile, ducked his head, and climbed out from under the bed.  Castiel got up as well.  He quickly moved around the bed and pressed his hand to Dean’s chest in the old American Sign Language gesture.  “Thumb index pinky, Dean!”

            Dean took Castiel’s hand and gently brought it to his lips, where he kissed it.  “I meant what I said, Cas.”

            “I know.  And it’s enough.  Whatever you decide, what you gave me these past few days will be enough to keep me going while you’re gone.”

            Dean trembled.  He reached out a hand and gently brushed back Castiel’s hair.  Then he slipped his other arm around Castiel’s waist, pulled him in, and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s plate, right over the spot where his name was engraved.  “You are so beautiful, Castiel,” he whispered.  “Don’t you ever let anyone or anything make you think otherwise!”

            Castiel closed his eyes and leaned into Dean.  He couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so happy as he felt at this moment.

            A loud knock on the door spoiled the moment. Dean startled, quickly moved away from Cas and glared at the door.  “Alright, already!  Holy shit, we’re coming!” he yelled out at the restless guards.  “Impatient assholes!”

            “Well, it is thirteen degrees outside today, Dean. They’re probably freezing.”

            “Whatever.”  He turned back to Castiel.  “You ready to go?”

            “No,” Castiel admitted.  “But it’s time to leave.”

****

            Castiel knew immediately when they were back in range of the communications towers once again.  The familiar sensation of Angel Radio was welcome, even as he recognized it as invasive.  Still, his brothers would have worried about him.  It was time he reached out.  _“Hello, brothers!”_ he called.

            _“Cas!”_

_“The prodigal Angel returns!”_

_“Damn, it’s good to hear your voice again!”_

_“Are you on your way home?”_

_“We’re on the road right now,”_ Castiel reported.  _“And before you ask, yes, I’m fine.  The trip was exactly what I needed.”_

_“Winchester took good care of you?”_

As if Dean would do anything else.  _“Of course he did!  And I’m fully recovered.”_

_“Glad to hear it!”_

_“It’s been, what, three days since you’ve been on the jack?”_   Michael’s voice sounded sympathetic.  _“You must be going out of your mind!  I’d love to visit with you, Cas, but I’m sure you’re anxious to get back into your lab.”_

_“The lab can wait.  I’d rather visit with the four of you.”_

            Emotions rarely carried over Angel Radio, but this time, there was no mistaking the transmitted surprise.

            _“Hey, he’d rather spend some time with the four of us over his shiny numbers?”_ Gabriel said.  _“Who can blame him?  Besides, that would actually make me very happy.  I’ve missed the hell out of you, Cas!”_

_“Yeah, it hasn’t been easy having you away.”_

_“The bean counters in Raph’s division have been pounding their heads off the walls.”_

_“We’ve had to soothe more than a few ruffled feathers over the delays.”_

_“Yeah, all four of us have had to field complaints!”_

_“I told them the delay was unavoidable, but you’d be back in your lab and hard at work soon.”_

_“I had to re-negotiate some prices to compensate for the delay.”_

_“I told them the defense contracts had the highest priority.”_

_“And I told them tough shit!”_

            Angel Radio went silent for a moment.

_“You didn’t actually say that, did you, Gabe?”_

_“Yes, actually, I did.  My exact words were, ‘Castiel has no control and came way too close to overload due to the recent stress, so we’ve had to take him offline to repair and recuperate. That can’t be rushed, so if you don’t like it, tough shit!’  And as if by magic, the complaining stopped!”_

_“Gabriel, I love you!”_  Lucifer’s voice was full of admiration.

Apparently, Lucifer’s opinion was in the minority.  A series of groans and curses came over Angel Radio.  Castiel sighed.

            “Thinking about what you’ve got waiting for you back in Heaven?”

            “Very much so,” Castiel replied truthfully.  “It seems I’ll have my work cut out for me.” Angel Radio was highly classified. Only the Angels and their handlers even knew it existed.  But Castiel hadn’t given anything away.  He’d already known the sort of mess he would come home to.  He slumped in his seat.

            Dean reached over and took his hand.  “Hey, listen to me.  We are not going to let anyone push you too hard, alright?  You work at your own pace, not anyone else’s. We didn’t get your head straightened out this much just to let Angeli Quinque mess it back up, alright?”

            Castiel smiled and squeezed the hand.  “Promise me one thing?”

            “Alright?”

            “You have the primary interface band,” he explained, indicating Dean’s wristband.  “That means that if Project Samandriel works, it will primarily work for you.  It will only work for me if I’m in close proximity with you, no more than ten feet.”

            “I’m not a fan of that, Cas,” Dean warned, frowning.

            “It’s necessary!  You’re the one who has to be saved, Dean!”

            “Why just me?”

            “Because I cannot live without you,” Castiel told him. 

            Dean scoffed.  “Castiel, you can’t...!”

            “And because I can’t be relied upon to do what needs done.  What you’ll have to do, the things you’ll have to accomplish?  It’s a huge responsibility that I’m putting on your shoulders!”

            Dean’s fingers traced the wristband as he drove. “I can handle it.”

            “I know you can handle it.  I trust you.  But it’s possible you’re the only one it will work for.  And if that happens, I want you to promise me two things. First, obviously, carry out the primary purpose of the project.  And second?” He clutched at Dean’s arm, took a deep breath, and steeled his courage.  “Second, if it’s at all possible?  Please get me out of Angeli Quinque!”

            “You want out.”  It wasn’t a question.

            “The other Angels, they’re only doing their jobs, because that’s all they know.  But now I know there’s something more than work!  And I know that if I stay, I’ll be used until I’m used up, until there’s nothing left of my spirit and I really am a robot.  The only way that any of us have a chance is if I can get out and work from the outside to get the rest of them out.  So please, Dean.  If you can, please, do whatever you can to get me out!”

            “I will, Cas.  I promise.”

            The sound of Cher singing “If I Could Turn Back Time” filled the car.  Dean blinked in surprise at his phone.  Then he narrowed his eyes at Castiel.

            Castiel grinned at him.  “I got bored,” he explained.  “I wanted you to have something to remind you of me, of our time together.  It’s also the ring tone on my phone for you.”

            “Show-off!”  Dean shook his head, chuckled, and answered his phone.  Then Castiel’s phone was ringing with one of his off-site lab directors. Three more calls came for them both in rapid succession.  Communicating with each other was impossible.  But Castiel kept one hand on Dean’s arm as Dean drove.

            All too soon, they were back at Heaven.  To Castiel’s dismay, a mob of reporters was waiting.  “The fuck?!” Dean exclaimed.  “How the hell did they know we were coming back?!”

            “They’ve been camped outside for days, ever since someone figured out I wasn’t in Heaven,” Castiel reported.  “That was one of the calls I got.  They’re about to publicly execute the getaway driver from the restaurant, they wanted a comment from me, and when no one knew where I was, people went wild with speculation.  Rumor has it I was stolen, and apparently a number of the member clients have been raising a terrible fuss!  Michael and Lucifer have had their hands full calming everyone, Gabriel’s been busy squashing rumors when they pop up, and Raphael’s been nearing overload trying to keep the currency stabilized.”  He shook his head.  “It’s almost as bad as it would have been if I’d actually been stolen!”

            “I love how you’re ‘stolen’ instead of kidnapped! It’s like they think you’re a robot!”

            “Statistically, about 35% of the population believe that the Angeli Quinque Angels are, in fact, robots rather than cyborgs.”

            “Then they’re 100% idiots.”  Dean was scowling fiercely, but looked happier when the Angeli Quinque security team arrived, forcing the reporters back.  “Alright, I’m getting you in fast.  You ready?”

            “Ready as I’ll ever be!”

            Dean was fast alright.  He had Castiel out of the car and was not-quite-running with him through the narrow channel the security team had created through the crowd. Flashes were all around them. Shouted questions assaulted their ears. Getting into the relative safety of Heaven’s lobby was a welcome relief.

            Grumbling, Dean kept going, bringing Castiel to the secure area.  All four of the other Angels were waiting to greet him.  Dean stiffened at the sight of Lucifer, but Gabriel quickly moved forward. “It’s alright,” he soothed.  “I promise you, Dean, it will never happen again. I’ll make sure of it!”

            “I’m sorry,” Lucifer said humbly.  He looked near tears.  “They told me what happened, what I did...!”

            Castiel raced to him, hugging him tightly.  “It wasn’t your fault.  It’s alright, brother.”

            After that, it was better.  Dean shook hands with Lucifer, Lucifer actually thanking Dean for the part he’d played in protecting Castiel.  That seemed to do a lot towards calming the anxious bodyguard.

            But then Naomi was there.  “Alright, everyone can talk to him later,” the Lead Handler called.  “Angel Castiel, before you go back on the jack, we need to get you into medical.”

            “Why?” Dean questioned.  “He’s fine!”

            Naomi glowered at him, her lip curling into a sneer as her eyes fixed on the golden pin at Dean’s collar.  “Why is this _veteran_ questioning me?!  He may have proven himself a suitable bodyguard, but he still needs to learn to stop questioning his betters!  Angel Lucifer, really?!”

            “Remember your place, Winchester,” Lucifer advised quietly.

            Dean immediately went silent, but his shoulders hunched, and his face reddened as he glared at Naomi.

            “It’s standard, Winchester,” Michael assured. “It won’t take long.”

            Dean reluctantly nodded.  He followed until they reached the doorway.  Then Castiel had to go in on his own.

            Castiel had never enjoyed going to medical.  The diagnostic jack felt invasive.  From the moment it was plugged into his plate, Castiel always felt somehow naked.  Even though the computers were only able to access his basic functioning, the intrusion through his processors was unpleasant.  He climbed into the chair with a sigh.  “This will be quick, right?” he asked.  “I know the other Angels want to talk to me.”

            “It shouldn’t take long, assuming everything’s in order,” Naomi assured.  “But then you’re going to work.  The other Angels will understand.  All of their work has been suffering while you’ve been off the jack, Castiel, so it’s best everyone gets back to work.  They can talk to you after you max out the jack in your lab.”

            Castiel blinked.  “What?  I know I’ve got a lot to do, but after what happened, I really should spend some time with...”

            “As I said.  The other Angels can talk to you after you max out the jack.”

            “And I can go on the jack after I talk to my brothers!” Castiel insisted.  “Why are you pushing me so hard to go back to work?  I’ve just been through a lot, Naomi, and I’m not going back on the jack until I’m ready!”

            Naomi frowned, cocking her head and narrowing her eyes as she studied him.  “This isn’t right.  Why aren’t you eager to get back on the jack?”  She turned to her technician.  “Do a full scan.”

            “What?!  I don’t need a full scan!” Castiel protested.  He irritably reached for the jack.  “I’m perfectly...  Hey! Stop!”

            Castiel’s body was no longer responding to his commands. His arm had dropped back to his side and he’d gone limp in the chair, not able to move any of his limbs.  He couldn’t even turn his head.  “What did you do to me?!”

            “It’s a failsafe,” the Lead Handler explained without looking up.  “It activates if you try to remove the jack before we’re finished.”

            Castiel hadn’t known that was even possible.  But right now, he didn’t care.  “Well, stop it!  And please take this out of me.”  He frowned when no one moved toward the jack in his plate.  “I said take this out of me!  Or turn off the failsafe so I can do it myself!”

            To his complete and utter shock, both Naomi and her tech ignored him completely.  “Basic diagnostics looks normal, but there’s something off about the baseline readings,” the tech reported.

            Naomi nodded.  “Alright, go deeper.  We need him in top condition.  There’s already been way too much speculation, and we need to show he’s running at peak capacity!”

            “Why won’t you listen to me?!” Castiel yelled. “You just said my diagnostics look normal, so why can’t I move?!  You know what, I don’t even care.  I don’t want to do this anymore.  Take this jack out of my plate and let me go!”

            Naomi waved a hand, not glancing at Castiel.  “Quiet him, please.”

            A slight tapping on the keyboard, a quick burst of data through the jack, and now Castiel couldn’t speak.  He rolled his eyes wildly, his heart pounding as his uneasiness gave way to fear.

            “You’re right about the baseline readings,” Naomi mused.  “We need to run a complete diagnostic and repair on this Angel.  Being offline for days must have resulted in corruption.”

            “How deep do you want to go?”

            Naomi was frowning at the screen.  “Look at these numbers!  Something is definitely off.  Show me a comparison with the scans we did prior to his going to the cabin? Yes, I suspected as much.  Spikes seven, nine, and twelve are significantly decreased.  No wonder he wants to chitchat with the other Angels instead of work!  We need to correct this at once.  Level four, please.”

            Level four?  Spikes seven, nine, and twelve?  Castiel was Lead Researcher, and he had no idea what she was talking about. But suddenly he couldn’t think straight. His processors had fired up without his control, responding to input from the jack.  This was wrong.  The diagnostic jack was only supposed to be able to gather information relating to the functioning of his hardware, software, and vital bodily functions.  It shouldn’t be capable of paralyzing him, and certainly shouldn’t be able to activate his processors!  As far as he’d known, nothing outside of a control could even access them, and then only to reboot and reset an Angel’s systems after an overload! How was this possible?  Had it happened before?  Castiel tried to remember, and to his alarm, he discovered he had very little memory of anything beyond routine sessions with the handlers. There was only one explanation - the same impossible programming that had allowed the handlers to hack the supposedly-unhackable computer in his head had also removed all memory of the event. How many times had this happened? How could he ever even know?!

            Now he was truly afraid.  Frantic, he tried to call for help.  Nothing.  He couldn’t access Angel Radio.  He tried to scream for Dean, but found he couldn’t make a sound.  Desperate, he started running override subroutines, hoping to break free long enough to get help.

            “He’s resisting.”

            Naomi nodded.  “Shut him down.  We should be able to do a complete repair without having to crack his plate.”

            Crack his plate?!  Castiel tried to protest, but his eyes closed, his body went limp. Then everything went dark.

****

            “He’s coming back online, new programming running just fine.  Everything looks normal, but he lost some processing time.”

            “Where’s he at?”

            “Fifteen percent.  It’s not much, but the others might notice it.”

            “Where are they?”

            “They’re still waiting outside.  Winchester’s with them.”

            Naomi gave an aggravated sigh.  “Why are my Angels not being productive?!  Send them back to their sections, and have their handlers get them on the jacks and working!  And get Winchester on a break or something.  Once we’re clear, take this Angel back to his lab, and get him on the jack, as well.  Start him on one of the harder projects and we can pass the reprogramming off as normal processor load.”

            “Winchester’s probably going to argue.”

            “I don’t care!  He’s only a blacked-out bodyguard, send him away!  But the last thing we want is to get the other Angels upset. Get them back to their sections for a quick diagnostic, tell them it’s due to the stress they’ve all been under. And then get them plugged in!  I want all five of them on the jacks and _working_!”

            Castiel barely comprehended any of this.  He felt as if he was in a deep fog, one that was slowly clearing.  There were more sounds in the distance, angry shouting that sounded like Dean.  Why was Dean shouting?  Castiel didn’t know.  But the shouting was moving away.  Dean was leaving.  Something wrong with that, something about Dean leaving him alone with the handlers that Castiel couldn’t quite put his finger on.  But the handlers were touching him now, lifting him.  Movement, his body being placed into a wheelchair. He blinked open his eyes, saw the hall moving past.  There was the familiar blue archway, the door with the blue angel on it.  Oh, now he was in his lab.  His antigravity belt was on, the wireless jack in its place in his plate.  Now the familiar, pleasant sensation of the lab computers interfacing with his brain. He moaned in relief.  Ah, yes.  He’d missed this.  At the cabin, he could jack into the computers, but he’d been cut off, couldn’t access the full Angeli Quinque network.  Now he could, and the pull on his processors was sending little twinges of pleasure through his synapses.  Wonderful.

            He raised his hands, ready to work, and paused, seeing the wristband.  Project Samandriel Dean.  The week in the cabin.  Some of the fog lifted in his head.  Wait, why was he on the jack already?  He’d wanted to talk to his brothers, try to get a feel for what they really wanted! Where was he now?

            He looked around.  His lab.  Of course. He’d have to talk to his brothers later. Right now, he was precisely where he needed to be.  After all, there was much work to be done.  Already, one of his toughest projects was shining on his interface, figures and numbers floating all around him.  Castiel got to work.  He noticed movement, the handlers quietly exiting his lab, but was far too busy to pay them any attention.

            Castiel was right where he wanted to be.


	10. Chapter 10 - The Sixth Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel explains Project Samandriel to Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning that the daily updates will be no more, at least until my work schedule gets straightened out. I'm working some crazy hours for a bit and have no idea when, or if, I'll be able to post. So enjoy!

            Castiel floated and spun in space, focused on the rapidly-changing numbers, figures, and diagrams that floated all around him. His skin tingled, heat dispersing away from his body from the nanites hard at work keeping his processors cool. The cooling systems for the computers hidden away behind the walls and floor of the cabin were working too. Dean had already reported that, despite the heavy snowfall, the cabin was largely free of snow on the roof. Good.  It meant the solar panels were also exposed, supplementing the power from the generator.  As much as Castiel was straining the computer systems, they needed all the power they could get, and there was no way of knowing when the external power supply would be restored.

            Thinking of Dean made Castiel look around. There.  The gorgeous bodyguard was sitting on the floor in the corner, watching Castiel work.  His shining green eyes were full of wonder.  “I will never get over watching you work like this, Cas,” he called. “You, flying around through all this glowy stuff?  You really do look like an angel!”

            Castiel smiled.  He moved down, going horizontal so he could hover directly before Dean at eye level as Dean sat and watched, amused.  Then he reached out, taking Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him. “I love you.”

            “Unbelievable,” Dean sighed.  “You’re just so damned beautiful, Cas!  You know when you move fast, the antigrav generators distort the images a little, and make a shadow behind you?  It almost looks like wings, like you’ve got these big shadowy black wings!”

            “Well, I am an Angel,” Castiel joked.  He kissed Dean again.  “I’m almost finished.”

            “I’m just surprised you can work when we’ve got no connection to Angeli Quinque!”

            “Normally, I couldn’t do much,” Castiel admitted. He forced himself to take his hands off of his lovely bodyguard and float back up, moving among his figures. “For security reasons, none of the computers out here will back up anything for longer than twenty-four hours. Everything on them gets a timer from the moment it’s accessed, and twenty-four hours later, it’s automatically deleted.”

            “And the communication’s been down for over forty-eight now!”

            “Exactly.  And that means that all of my projects are back at my lab.  Except one.”  He went back to work, clearing out the remaining errors.  Then he smiled.  “That’s it! The control framework for Project Samandriel is finished!  Now all I need is enough processing time in my lab at Angeli Quinque to put it together.”

            “There’s your mysterious project again,” Dean grumbled. “Are you finally going to tell me what it’s all about?”

            “Yes.”

            Dean blinked.  “Ok, that was surprisingly easy!”

            “It’s about love, Dean,” Castiel explained. “Project Samandriel is my greatest work, my final, last-ditch effort to use my skills to save the ones I love. That’s why I gave you that wristband.”

            Dean absently stroked the wristband he wore, his eyes on the matching band on Castiel’s wrist.  “Let’s pretend for a moment that I’m not a hot, sexy, super-intelligent Angel, and start explaining this like I’m a barely-literate ex-military bodyguard who only just graduated high school.  Then I might have a snowball’s chance in Hell at understanding it!”

            “Alright.  I’ll begin at the beginning.”  Castiel waved a hand, bringing up an image of a man.  “I’d like you to meet the Angel Samandriel.”

            Dean got up.  “I remember him.  He was there, at Sammy’s funeral.”  He came closer, studying Samandriel’s image.  Samandriel seemed to be smiling at him, the picture of innocence with blonde hair and clear blue eyes.  Since he was Castiel’s control, Samandriel was hardwired into his memory banks.  The representation of him was a near perfect replica.  That was proven now when Dean leaned over to read the writing engraved on Samandriel’s plate.  “Angel Samandriel,” he read.  “Emotional Stability?  He’s a shrink?”

            “Samandriel’s specialty was psychology, yes,” Castiel sighed. He let himself land, moving closer to join Dean.  “His job was to balance the rest of us.  And he did, Dean.  The six of us, it wasn’t like it is now with just five.  Back then, we were brothers, family.  We could be affectionate towards each other in public, we were constantly in and out of each others’ sections, and we cared for each other.  We cared far more about each other than we did about the work.”  He smiled. “Back then, overloads weren’t nearly as bad as they are now.  They weren’t any less dangerous, but they were so much less, how would Samandriel say, traumatic?  If someone goes into overload now, he’s unstable, and thus still at risk for relapse, for at least twenty-four hours.  That’s why the handlers don’t like us being in too much contact with each other during that period.  But Samandriel, he could bring us back to normal in an hour or two, and no one ever relapsed!  That’s because he was special, Dean.  Samandriel could go on a jack just like the rest of us, and he could provide psychological services online anywhere in the world.  He was great working with Michael or Lucifer, but he didn’t contract because his services weren’t like the rest of us.  He was just included with the total package, a little side benefit for member clients.  That way, he was never obligated to outside contracts, because his primary duty was in Heaven itself. Samandriel was the only Angel that was able to jack into any other Angel, the only one who could literally get inside of our heads.”

            “That sounds a bit creepy.”

            Castiel frowned.  “It wasn’t creepy at all!  We were built for that, Dean, built, raised, programmed, and trained to allow Samandriel into our heads.  It’s natural for us.  We’ve been letting him in all of our lives!”

            Dean still looked doubtful.  “What the hell for?”

            Castiel indicated the wireless jack in his plate. “We’re connected to machines all day long, sifting through data.  And you see how we are.  Everything’s about numbers, being productive, maxing out the jacks either in one go or two or more shorter bursts, just so long as we trip our indicators.  And that’s it, that’s our whole life!  Michael, for example, may be able to follow any custom, but there’s no meaning to any of them for him.  It’s all just cold, empty, sterile.”

            “Mechanical.”  Dean nodded. “That’s why you didn’t understand what a Christmas present was.”

            “Precisely!  And it’s why we’re so remote, why we can’t really relate with anyone outside of our handlers or trained, blacked-out bodyguards like you.”  He nodded towards Samandriel.  “When he was with us, it was different.  Because his primary job was to keep us human.  He would come to each of us every day, jack in, and bring back our humanity.  And he had to, Dean!  Being on the jack, interfacing with the Angeli Quinque computer networks?”  He raised his hands, indicating his surroundings. “This, I know you think it’s awesome, which incidentally is a word you tend to overuse.  But this is my whole world.  There’s no warmth, no life.  It’s just...”

            “Mechanical,” Dean repeated.

            “Precisely.  After a while, it starts to affect you.  Samandriel could bring the life, the warmth, back.  Then we could get back on the jacks and work.”

            “So what’s keeping you going now?” Dean wanted to know.

            Castiel shifted uncomfortably.  “At first, there wasn’t anything.  When we lost Samandriel, we started refusing to go on the jacks.  The handlers had to force us.  Every day, they’d drag us in, strap us down, force the jacks into our plates.  Once we were on the jacks, we’d do the work because that’s what we always did, what dad programmed us to do.  But obviously the work suffered,” he continued, missing the expression on Dean’s face.  “We’d max out the jacks and they’d let us go, but we, well, I suppose Samandriel would have diagnosed us with depression.”

            “Gee, I can’t imagine why!”

            “Well, the fact that...  Oh.  That was sarcasm.”

            Dean’s shoulders were hunched, his cheeks flushed. He shook his head.  “Sorry, buddy, that’s just...  Anyway, go on.  What happened that they stopped tying you down?”

            “Naomi, our Lead Handler, came up with a radical solution.  She announced that she was taking all five of us Angels offline for upgrades and was restructuring the company, and basically left the staff in our sections to fend for themselves for a bit.  Then she brought all five of us in and cracked our plates, upgraded some of the hardware in our heads and gave us some new software.  After that, going on the jacks felt, well, it feels good, Dean.  That’s why they don’t have to force us anymore. It’s still just as cold and mechanical as it was, but now it just feels _good_ to be on the jack, so good that getting to work is the first thing I think about when I wake up.  That’s why I went kind of crazy when we got cut off, because it almost hurts to not be able to go on the jack.”

            Dean was staring at him.  “Cas, that sounds like...  Holy shit, you’re addicted!  No wonder you lost it when the connection went down!”

            “It can’t be helped.”  Castiel’s voice was flat.  “Without Samandriel to make us human again, the machine was all that was left of us.  The only real pleasure we have is being on the jack.  So now we work, and that’s our whole life.  But in the end, it’s mostly a reason to be on the jack.  We’re programmed to strive for excellence, conditioned to be goal-oriented.  So our work is good, it’s just, well, not as good as it was.  Before, we didn’t like the jacks, but we believed in what we were doing and loved doing it.  That’s what Samandriel did for us.  When we lost him, the truth is that we lost our humanity, too.”

            Castiel waved his hand negligently, and the image of the lost Angel disappeared.  Then he moved to Dean and took the bodyguard’s hands in his own.  “Dean,” he began, “I’m no angel.  What Lucifer said?  He was right! We lost Samandriel because of me!”

            “I don’t believe that for one second!”

            “But it’s true.”  Castiel couldn’t meet his eyes.  “There’s a reason we’re so closely guarded, Dean, and why trying to steal an Angel is punishable by death in most countries.  My tech, you know how much it improves the lives of the member clients. A contract with Angeli Quinque means a huge increase in quality of life.  For some countries, especially the ones that are poor or underdeveloped? The difference is extreme!  And even though I’m only one part, it’s my tech, my advances, that are the easiest to see.  That’s why they want me.  They want what I can provide, the machines and technology that improves everything from transportation to communication to medicine to education...  Everywhere I look, I see things that my section either improved on or outright invented!”

            “No kidding!  You can’t toss a stone without hitting something with an Angeli Quinque logo.”

            “And that’s the problem.  People see that logo, and they know that it’s the Research and Development section that did all that, and that’s what they want.  They want the boost in their quality of life, which even though that’s mostly Raphael, they equate with me because of the tech.  But Huis is hardly the first time someone wanted me without becoming a member client!”

            “Except none of that tech works unless you have the license, the coding to activate and use it,” Dean added.  “So unless you join the network, you’re stuck with either shoddy knock-offs or no modern tech at all.  They want your tech, but they’re afraid of giving up their autonomy and joining the network.”

            “I’ve never really understood why,” Castiel complained.  “The network is what makes everything really work, after all.  Otherwise, only the richest, most powerful countries would have my tech, one small percentage that hoarded all the best of everything while the rest of the world suffered!”

            “Not everyone sees it that way, buddy,” Dean said softly.

            “I know, all too well.  That’s why there are rogue groups, countries and groups of people who just want access to my tech without the network!”  Castiel swallowed hard.  “And that’s why The Incident happened, Dean.  One of those groups got frustrated, got desperate, and so they stole me.  They’d already stolen a lot of my tech, but they couldn’t use it.”

            “Because they didn’t have the network, and unless you have a valid Angeli Quinque license, none of the tech will activate!”

            Castiel nodded.  “And that’s why they stole me.  They knew that, since I’d designed it, I could activate it.  So they took me away and forced me on the jack, made me activate their own personal network.  But to do that required me to constantly be on the jack, running a makeshift network that was designed to be held up by a global bank of computers and five Angels!”

            Dean winced.  “Holy shit, that must have damned near burned you out!”

            He nodded again.  “They didn’t understand that I was a cyborg, not a robot.  They wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain my limits.  They kept me tied down, forced me on the jack far beyond my capacity.  Even when I overloaded and their network went haywire, they kept trying, kept me plugged in and pounded away at me on their computers, thinking it was a software issue when my nervous system was in complete chaos! And that only made it worse.  It was the worst overload any of us had ever experienced, Dean.  By the time the authorities found me and got Samandriel to me, I’d been in overload for seventeen hours!”

            Dean was holding him now, letting the Angel rest his head on his shoulder.  “It’s alright, Cas.  You’re safe now.”

            “But I wasn’t then.  And it was awful!  The other Angels all had to get on the jacks and try to balance a broken, unauthorized network that had gone completely out of control.  And Samandriel was left all alone with me, just him and a few handlers on that transport, because there were riots!  Samandriel told everyone he’d be fine, he could handle things. But he never should have let me go! I should have been kept restrained until he could reset me.  But I’d already been tied down for so long, and had already suffered so much damage. It was too much, more than he should have tried to handle alone.  I was completely out of control.”  He shook his head.  “I don’t remember much.  I learned later that I was screaming, begging him to let me go.  So Samandriel...”  He shook his head.  “That stupid psychology!” he exclaimed, his bitter voice startling Dean.  “He was so worried about traumatizing me further, so concerned about bringing me back into a calm, safe environment, that he completely ignored his own safety!  And he wouldn’t stop, Dean.  He just kept going, kept fighting to bring me out of overload even when I...  I...”

            “Bullshit.”  Dean’s voice was a low growl in Castiel’s ear as the bodyguard embraced him.  “It’s not your fault.”

            “That’s what he said,” Castiel whispered.  He was shaking now as he clung to Dean.  “The last thing Samandriel said to me, when he succeeded in bringing me out and I finally came back to myself.  ‘It’s not your fault.’  And then the light went out of his eyes!  I came back around with the handlers on top of me, pinning me down on the floor of the transport, keeping me away from Samandriel.  But it was too late!  There he was, Dean, lying there covered in blood with the handlers trying to save him, and he still had the wireless jack in his head.  He was still connected to me when he died.”

            “Holy shit!  He died while he was still in your head?!”

            Castiel nodded.  “I felt him go.  So I tried to save him.”

            “Cas, if the medical people couldn’t save him, how could you?!”

            “No.  I tried to save him, Dean.  Into my internal memory banks.”  Castiel tapped his head.  “I drew as hard as I could on his jack, trying to bring him to me, keep him with me, keep him from going!  But he was already gone.  I drained his memories, dumped everything into myself.  But my processors, I’d already overloaded.  So when I did that, I shorted myself completely out. Apparently, I burned through a good portion of my internal computer, and damaged my physical nervous system along with it.  They had to crack my plate, replace half my hardware, try to pull the two of us apart so I could function independently again.  And that was even before they had to crack my plate again to get me back on the jack!  But they couldn’t replace everything I’d damaged, Dean, because of how my physical brain is integrated with my mechanical components.  So some of my computer is still damaged, along with some of my physical brain.  And that’s why I’m, well...”  Castiel indicated himself.  “That’s why I’m the way I am.”

            “That’s why you did this?”  Dean’s fingers traced the narrow channel along the inside of Castiel’s right wrist.  When Castiel nodded, Dean took a step back.  His green eyes were full of sorrow.  “Oh angel, I’m so, so sorry!”

            “I don’t regret it,” Castiel said.  “I did the only thing I could to try to save Samandriel, and it wasn’t enough.  Now all I have of him are those memories I stored from him, bits and pieces of his life, fragments of a man who will never smile again.  It’s not enough, Dean.  I need to do more!  Losing him made me realize that I couldn’t, wouldn’t, lose anyone else that I loved. And that’s why I gave you this.” He fingered Dean’s wristband. “Project Samandriel, Dean, is designed for one purpose - to correct a mistake.  I had one of my nightmares, you know, so I was up late at night, alone with my thoughts.  And I realized that if I could have had some way to warn Samandriel not to let me go, I could have saved him, saved us all!  Then I realized that losing someone I loved, in the end, usually came down to one single moment.  One single mistake.  One tiny thing that maybe seemed insignificant at the time, but in the end made all the difference.  Do you understand the Butterfly Effect?”

            “Actually, yes.  It’s the theory that one single event sets off a cascade that affects all the events after it, right?”

            “Close enough.”  He clutched Dean’s hands.  “Dean, what if there was a way to change that initial event?  If you could change one thing, one moment of time to save your brother, would you do it?”

            Dean straightened.  “In a heartbeat!”

            Castiel leaned forward.  “That’s what Project Samandriel is.”

            “Um, what?”

            “This, Dean!”  Castiel turned, indicated the glowing figures all around them.  “This is the control framework for the most ambitious project I’ve ever undertaken.  And it’s finally finished!  All I need is enough time on the jack back at my lab to work out the final kinks in the external computers, and I can launch it.  Then I’ll have it!”

            “I’m still confused,” Dean sighed.  “What will you have, exactly?”

            “A way to alter the flow of time and bring one or two individuals back to the past, back to a single set point.  It’s a way to change that moment, Dean!  A way that, should anything happen to you, I can turn back time, bring you back to a previous point in time with all your memories of what was to come still intact.  Then you could do things differently!  I can save you!”

            “Whoa, hold the phone!”  Dean’s eyes were wide.  “You’re telling me that Project Samandriel, it's a _time machine?!"_

            “Yes!”  Castiel excitedly grabbed Dean’s wrist, holding the wristband before his face. “Zero-One-Two-Four.  Your birthday, Dean!  If either one of us enters that code, it activates the project. Then it’s just a matter of velocity.”

            “Velocity?”

            “Unfortunately, it’s the one factor I can’t get around,” Castiel grumbled.  “There are four factors at work here.  Time, distance, location, and speed.  The time I preset before I switched the interface wristbands on, although I actually think I’ll change it later.  But the location I set, to here, because this cabin has been around for over a hundred years and is a safe place.  Distance only matters to bring us both back together.  It doesn’t matter to save you, Dean, but speed?  Well, in order for this to work, you must be moving at least fifty miles an hour.”

            “That is a weirdly exact number, Cas.  What’s so special about fifty miles an hour?”

            “Time dilation.”  Castiel had called up more holographic figures and was manipulating them with his hands as he explained.  “Time moves slower when you’re moving, and the faster you move, the slower time progresses.  And even my most top-of-the-line computers have limits on their processing speed! In order to fold time and make Project Samandriel work, I’ll need time itself to slow down just a fraction, enough that the components can function.  For that to happen, the minimum speed is fifty miles an hour.”

            “So, to get this to work, you gotta be driving at least that fast?”

            “It’s not a difficult speed to obtain,” Castiel insisted.  “Traveling in any standard mechanical transport at normal cruising speed should more than do the trick.  A high-speed train or plane would be more than enough!”

            “No thanks.  I don’t do planes.”

            “Even if a plane was crashing, it would still work, because the effect would happen the instant the correct speed was reached. Terminal velocity is over twice that!”

            “Can we maybe not use the word ‘terminal’ so close to ‘crashing?’  I really, really hate planes!”

            “In this case, terminal velocity simply means the speed at which the resistance of the medium a falling object is falling through, in this case air, prevents further acceleration,” Castiel explained. “In other words, it’s the fastest something can fall.  It doesn’t mean a fatal plane crash.”

            “Add the word ‘fatal’ to the list of things to never say with ‘plane crash,’ please.”  Dean shuddered.

            Castiel chuckled.  “If I can get Project Samandriel to work, no plane crash will ever harm you, Dean.  You’ll have nothing to fear from violence, from any weapon or natural disaster.  Because I’ll protect you!  You’ll come back here, to this cabin, and start again.  And this time, you’ll know what happened, and can make sure that whatever happened to you never happens again!”

            It finally sank in.  Dean’s eyes grew wide once more.  He looked around in shock, staring at the floating symbols.  “Holy shit, Cas!  This is...  Cas, you can’t waste something like this on me!  You could save the whole world!”

            Castiel took Dean’s shoulders and looked straight at him.  “You are my whole world, Dean!  And with this, I can keep you safe, no matter what happens.  All it needs is enough time to work, and it will send you back in time to a set point.”

            “You, too?”

            “Yes, if I’m close enough to you.  But that will take longer for it to activate.”

            “So, it’s gonna take a bit, it’s not instant? That’s not good for that whole plane crash scenerio."

            “Well, in that case, the best bet would be to activate it when you know there’s a high probability of a crash.  It would take anywhere from three to five minutes to activate, which it would indicate to you with a tap on the wrist.  Then all you need to do is reach the appropriate speed and the process is automatic.”

            Dean frowned.  “Three to five minutes?”

            “Or a couple minutes for just you.  For us both to go back at once, it would take a bit longer, and prolonged close contact.  But we wouldn’t have to do anything special, just stay close.”

            Dean smiled.  “I’m all for staying close!”

            Castiel shut down his project, covered it in security codes, and unplugged his jack.  He took a moment to reflect on his innate need to cover his greatest project, knowing that nothing could hack his computer brain.  Paranoia was a terrible thing.  Samandriel would have had a field day.  Well, it was still good practice, worth continuing.  He took off his antigrav belt and brought the lights back up in the cabin, making Dean wince and rub at his eyes.  Dean looked absolutely adorable, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light.  Castiel grinned.  He quickly plugged the jack back into his plate and brought up the sound system.

            Dean jumped when a guitar suddenly started playing. Then a woman’s voice began to sing.  _“If I could turn back time, if I could find a way?  I’d take back those words that hurt you, and you’d stay!”_

            “It’s an artist called Cher,” Castiel explained when Dean’s confused eyes went to him.  “It’s a song Samandriel gave me.  I kind of think of it as his theme song, for reasons that you probably understand now.”

            Dean chuckled.  “Nice.  But seriously, Cas, you’re wasting this on the likes of me!  If this works, you could do so much!”

            “If I lost you, nothing else would matter.”

            Dean’s eyes softened.  He combed his fingers through Castiel’s hair, drew the Angel’s head down so he could kiss the top of it.  “I’m not worth it.  But I’m glad you think I am.”

            Castiel made a small noise.  Then he was on Dean, picking his surprised bodyguard up and throwing Dean over his shoulder into a fireman’s carry.  He carried Dean back into the bedroom and forced him down on the bed.

            Dean laughed.  “C’mon, Cas!  I know I’m the one who took your V card, but you’re going to wear me out!”

            Castiel hesitated.  “Do you want me to stop?”

            “Hell no!”  Dean dragged him down.

            A few minutes later Castiel was inside of Dean, one arm around Dean’s waist and the other pumping at Dean’s cock in time with his thrusts.  Dean was cursing savagely, on his knees with his hands pressed against the headboard.  _“I didn’t really mean to hurt you,”_ Castiel sang softly along with the music.  _“I didn’t want to see you go!  I know I made you cry, but oh, if I could turn back time!”_


	11. Chapter 9 - Unjacked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a blizzard cuts off communications at the cabin, Dean tries to comfort an oddly-distraught Castiel

            “I have to get back to Heaven!”

            “Cas, we can’t, alright?  Look outside!  It’s a blizzard!  That’s what took out the power and the communications!”

            “Dean, you do not understand!” Castiel hissed. “I can’t stay here!  I can’t be cut off like this!  My work...  I need to get back so I can work!”

            Castiel had been standing at the window, clinging white-knuckled to the window frame.  He’d been pacing all through the cabin, moving from window to window, desperately hoping that the next time he looked out, the storm would be over.  Now he bowed his head in defeat.  He couldn’t even see the short distance to the guards’ cabin through the heavy snowfall.  The howling winds made the walls of the cabin creak.  Castiel felt trapped.  His nerves seemed to want to push their way through his skin.  He shuddered, shifted restlessly.

            At least there was one good thing. Castiel’s skin seemed to tingle when Dean’s hand closed on his shoulder.  “Hey, buddy,” Dean called.  “You ever think maybe you’ve been working just a little too hard?  You can’t help the weather, Cas.  And if anyone would like to get on your shit about not being able to work because you got stuck in a blizzard?  Well, they’re welcome to come and discuss it with me!”

            “But I need to work!” Castiel insisted.

            “You can still go on the jack and do stuff offline, right?  You could probably even max out your jack time that way!”

            “But that isn’t the same!  When I jack into Angeli Quinque, it’s different, and that’s what I need!”  Castiel reached back and clung to Dean’s hand.  “I feel like I’m losing my mind!”

            “I noticed.  And I know I can’t really do much to help you, angel.  But I’m here.”

            Dean was so good.  He let Castiel cling to his hand.  He even patiently allowed Castiel to turn his head so that his cheek rested against that hand.  “I’m sorry, Dean,” he whispered.  “I know you didn’t sign up for this!”

            The hand tightened, gently squeezing Castiel’s shoulder.  “Just come away from the window, alright?  You’re shivering, Cas!  This draft, let’s get you warmed up.”

            Castiel was shaking, but he didn’t feel cold.  He felt more like his nerves were somehow hyperactive, sending random impulses that made his muscles twitch and jerk. He didn’t understand it.  But of course, neither did Dean.  Dean only took care of him, just as he’d always done. He brought Castiel over to the sofa in front of the fireplace and wrapped a warm quilt around his shoulders. Then he squatted down in front of Castiel, bright green eyes peering up at him in concern.  “You’re not sick, but you’re still messed up for some reason, Cas. That any better?”

            Another shudder went through Castiel’s body. Dean frowned.  “Dammit, you’re really cold!  I shouldn’t have let you stand in the draft so long.  Here.”

            Dean climbed into the sofa next to him, sitting sideways.  He pushed Castiel forward a bit, sliding one leg behind him against the back of the sofa. Then he was pulling on Castiel, dragging him down to lie against Dean’s chest.  The afghan over the back of the sofa was pulled down, wrapped snugly around them both.  Dean slipped his arms around Castiel, holding him tightly against his chest.  “How’s that?”

            “It’s nice.”  Oh, how nice it was.  He was so warm.  Dean’s leg supported his back.  Those strong, muscular arms were snug around him.  He could hear the steady sound of Dean’s heartbeat as he lay against Dean’s chest, feel the rise and fall of that chest.  Dean smelled like deodorant soap and the anti-perspirant he wore.  The hint of stubble on his face caught in Castiel’s hair.  Puffs of breath warmed his scalp.

            Dean’s hand was rubbing gently along Castiel’s arm. “How do you feel?”

            Castiel closed his eyes.  “Safe.  Safe in your arms, Dean.”

            That made Dean pause.  “I’m glad, Cas.  Because I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.  Not while I’m around.  Alright?”

            A nod.  Inside, Castiel’s nerves were still jangling.  He still desperately wished he could connect with his lab, but somehow, resting like this in Dean’s arms, the turmoil in his mind was sated a little.

            “Cas?”

            “Hmm?”

            “You remember how I told you we needed to talk?”

            “Mmm hmm?”

            “Do you think maybe we can do that now?”

            Castiel opened his eyes.  “Alright?”

            Dean raised his left arm, displaying the wristband. “Let’s start with this.  Cas, I like you, buddy.  You’re sweet and funny and kind, and I love being around you.  Even though I know we had a bit of a rough start, I’m proud to be your bodyguard.  But this was not cool.  You don’t get to put something on me without my permission, especially something that I can’t get off!”

            Castiel frowned.  “Why not?  You’re my bodyguard!  We can use these to find each other!”

            “Which is awesome.  That’s very useful, and good thinking.  Had you told me that, I may have agreed to wear it.”  Dean’s voice grew stern.  “But you didn’t, Cas.  You never talked to me about it at all!  You just locked it on me while I was still asleep in the hospital after I got shot!”

            “I don’t understand.  You just said it’s useful and good thinking, but you still seem upset?”

            “I am upset!”  The arm was around him again, fingers lacing with those of Dean’s right hand, holding him firmly.  Dean took a deep breath, seeming to gather his thoughts.  “Cas, do you remember how you felt when those assholes tried to kidnap you in the restaurant?  How they were just taking you without your consent?  Well, that’s kind of how I felt when I woke up in that hospital after my surgery, saw this thing you’d put on my arm and realized I couldn’t get it off. Because there’s one thing that differentiates humans from machines - free will.  Machines can only follow orders, do what they’re told.  Humans have the ability to think and make decisions for themselves.  That’s why it was wrong of them to try to take you.  And Cas?  That’s also why it was every bit as wrong of you to lock this on me!”

            “Dean, you don’t understand!”  Castiel shifted, twisting his neck so he could look up at Dean. “This is to protect you!”

            “Protect me?  Cas, I’m the bodyguard, alright?  I’m the one doing the protecting!”

            “You got shot!”  Castiel’s hand traced Dean’s right arm.

            Dean smiled at him.  “I’m fine, buddy.  Those nanites of yours fixed me up good as new.  But that isn’t the point.  You didn’t give me a chance to choose the wristband.  You just locked it on me.  It wasn’t right, and I need you to understand why it wasn’t right.”

            “I don’t!”  The relaxation he’d gotten from being held by Dean was gone now, replaced with sickening dread.  “Dean, you have to wear the wristband!  You can’t ever take it off, or I won’t be able to protect you!”

            “No, see, that is where we have our problem.” Dean’s voice was very patient.  “I don’t _have_ to do anything!  I get that you _want_ me to wear it, but you do not have the right to deny my free will.”

            “Why?”

            “Huh?”

            “Why don’t I have the right to deny your free will if it’s to protect you?!”

            “Nobody has that right!”

            “You do!” Cas pointed out.  “You deny mine every day, every time you take me back to my section.  It doesn’t matter that you stay there, too, because you can get out.  But you lock me in, and I can’t get out of it, because that’s how everyone protects me.  So why is it any different when I deny your free will for that exact same reason, to protect you?!”

            Dean sucked in his breath, slowly filling up his lungs with air that he then let out in a deep, drawn-out sigh.  “Ok.  I see your point.  Alright, how do I explain this one, um...  Ok.  You have a condition, Cas, where you can’t take care of yourself because your mind will constantly wander, you can’t remember basic things, and you have real difficulty organizing your thoughts for anything except work.  But there’s more to it than that!  Because you’ll start walking in a fugue state, not even realizing where you’re going.  I’ve seen you try to walk right into traffic! And Cas, if you get too emotionally rattled, you’ll go completely catatonic. That’s why we’re out here.  Your free will isn’t always something you can exercise because your judgment is so impaired.  If you made a conscious choice to, say, skip meals?  Then I’d have to respect that choice.  But you don’t, buddy, and that’s why I nag you to eat. You suffered some horrible ordeal where you were kidnapped, went into overload and your circuits got fried. You can’t help that you’re damaged, but it means you need care.  You need to be kept safe because there are times when you cannot exercise your free will. That’s why you’re locked in.  And personally, I hate it!”

            Castiel blinked.  “You do?”

            “Of course I do!  Why do you think I taught you the security codes, or why I always want to take you outside for exercise instead of just letting you walk around on the roof?  Cas, it has bothered me from day one that you’re locked in, alright?  I understand the necessity for it, but as long as I’m here to help you, I’ll be damned if I’m going to just leave you locked in a cage!” He rested his cheek against Castiel’s hair.  “Honestly, that’s one of an awful lot of things about you that bothers me, Cas.”

            “What else bothers you?”

            “Don’t change the subject.  We’re not done talking about this wristband.”

            “I want to know what else bothers you,” Castiel repeated stubbornly.

            Dean breathed through his nose.  “It bothers me that you’re not given any choice in the contracts Angeli Quinque accepts for you.  Raph sets the terms and takes the money, and you’re handed the work.  It bothers me that you’re so stressed out all the time!  Look at you, flipping out because you can’t connect to your lab?  You’re getting worked right into the ground, buddy!  And what do you get for it, huh?  You get a roof over your head and people like me to care for you, but it bothers me that you don’t have so much as a penny to your name! Cas, I could not believe it when you told me that you’ve never been paid.  The shit you make for Angeli Quinque is literally worth billions, and you didn’t have a couple bucks to spend on a cheeseburger and fries at Biggerson’s!  It bothers me that they work you constantly.  You never get a single day off.  I know this!  All this time I’ve worked with you, not one single day off, not even a holiday!  I had to teach you what a Christmas present was for fuck’s sake!  And most of all, it bothers me that you’re not a robot, Cas, but Angeli Quinque treats you like one!”

            Castiel blinked.  “I...  I never thought about that before,” he said slowly.  “That’s just how it’s always been!”

            “Let me explain a little to you about history. ‘That’s how it’s always been’ has been the refrain that people have used for centuries to subjugate other people. And all it takes is one person to look around and say ‘This isn’t right’ for change to happen.  So I’m here saying this isn’t right!  It’s not right how you’re treated, Cas, and that’s why I’ve been doing what I can to change it.  I’m making sure you get out, get breaks, have a little fun.  After you went down this last time, I threw a fit until Michael finally agreed with me and let me take you out here.  And do you know what, Cas?  I’m glad that this blizzard happened!  I’m glad you can’t get on the jack!  Because it means, for maybe the first time in your life, that you are getting a day off!  For once, you’re going to do what _you_ want to do!”

            “What do I want to do?” Castiel asked.

            Dean groaned.  “Cas, you are completely missing the point here, buddy.  Don’t ask me what you want to do, ask _you_ what you want to do!  What makes you happy, Cas?  What can you do, right here in this cabin, that would make you happy?”

            “This,” Cas replied immediately.  “Lying here and letting you hold me?  It helps.  I still just want to get on the jack, but I’m not shaking so much now.  You holding me is what I want.”  He rested his cheek against Dean’s chest and closed his eyes. “It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

            “Um, what?”

            Castiel had reached his limit.  His nerves were still reactive, his need to go on the jack making him reckless.  The new ideas Dean had just put into his head made him bold.  He reached out and caught Dean’s left arm, his fingers on the wristband. “I want to feel safe.  I want to feel like I don’t have to hide what I am because it doesn’t matter if douchebags stare at me.  I want to hear the way you call me ‘angel,’ and know it means you think I’m something wonderful, something more than just a specialized Angeli Quinque cyborg like everyone else sees!  And I want you to look at me the way you do, like I’m someone special and worth fighting a dozen armed men alone and getting shot for!  That’s why I did this, alright?!  Because Project Samandriel is the only chance I have to save you if the next shot isn’t just in your arm!”

            Dean didn’t move.  Castiel clung to his arm, kissed the wristband.  “I can’t lose you, Dean!  I can’t lose another person I love, and this is the only way I can save you! And I’m sorry I didn’t consider your free will.  I didn’t consider that you wouldn’t want it, but I understand.  I’ll take it off if that’s what you want.”

            “Cas?”  Dean’s voice sounded strained.  “You love me?”

            Castiel froze.  He groaned, squeezed his eyes tightly shut, buried his face in Dean’s chest and clutched at his shirt with both hands.  “I’m sorry!  I tried not to fall in love with you, Dean, but I couldn’t help it!  And it’s not even just that you’re gorgeous, although of course you are.  It’s the way you treat me, how you care for me like you really do care and it’s not just a job, but I know I am and I know that now you won’t want to work with me and you’ll go away just like everyone else because I ruined everything!  I always ruin everything!  Lucifer was right.  I destroy everything I touch!”

            “Cas!  Look at me!”

            Castiel forced himself to look up.  Dean had an odd expression on his face.  And suddenly, his hand was tight in Castiel’s hair, holding his head still as Dean kissed him.

            Castiel’s heart pounded.  He activated Angel Radio, wanting to send a private message to Gabriel for advice, but encountered only static.  Of course.  Angel Radio was as vulnerable as any other form of communication when the towers went down.  He was on his own, in this new, strange, exciting situation, with no way to reach anyone for advice.  Castiel whimpered.

            Dean immediately gasped and let him go, raising his hands and looking somewhat terrified.  “I’m sorry!  Holy shit, Cas, I’m so sorry!  I shouldn’t have done that!”

            Castiel stared at him.  “Why?  You don’t want to kiss me?  I liked it!”

            Dean blinked at him.  “Y-you did?  Dammit, Cas, I have wanted to kiss you for so fucking long, but you’re so innocent, you had no idea!  Everything about you drives me crazy, angel, from the way you walk to the way your mind will just jump from one thing to another to those absolutely amazing blue eyes of yours!  Do you even know how beautiful you are?!”

            “You think I’m beautiful?”

            Dean’s hand was trembling when it touched his face. “You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life!  Cas, from the first day I met you, I was lost, alright?  I didn’t understand the way you acted, and I’ll admit, I didn’t think it was gonna work at first.  But then I saw you floating around in your lab, and all I could think was, ‘He’s really an angel!”  And I think that’s the point I realized I was in trouble, that this could turn out to be so much more than just a job!’”  Dean shook his head.  “I am fully aware of how creepy that is, alright?  For fuck’s sake, you’re so vulnerable, and I’m your bodyguard!  I’m supposed to protect you from creepers like me, right along with the assholes who want to plug a jack into your plate and use you until your processors are toast!  So I had to keep a lid on it, especially when I found out how bad you were, how much you needed someone to protect you!”

            “You wanted to leave me!” Cas accused softly. “You wanted to resign!”

            Dean grimaced.  “I didn’t lie to you, alright?  It had nothing to do with how much work you were, or that I had to clean you up or feed you.  I was thinking about resigning because I knew how close I was getting to you!  I was so afraid I’d cross a line, the way I just did tonight!  I knew that doing something like that, kissing you, was wrong.  But I was real good, Cas!  I hope you understand that.  Like yesterday, when I cleaned you up?  There was nothing, you know, weird about that.  It was all professional!  But to take it somewhere that isn’t professional?  That’s just...  That’s a line you don’t cross.”

            “I don’t understand,” Cas said miserably.  “Why is it wrong of you to kiss me if I want you to?”

            Dean shook his head.  “Look, Cas.  You know so little about the world.  You don’t understand people.  Touching you, kissing you the way I did, making love to you, how could you ever consent to letting me do any of that?!”

            “Isn’t that what you were just talking about? Free will?  You just said that it bothered you, how little I was permitted to exercise mine.  So why are you trying to take my free will away from me now, and not let me choose to have you?”

            Dean stared at him.  “Why the hell would you want me?” he whispered.

            “Because I may not understand people, but I know that I love you.  I know, because I’ll take this off.”  His fingers touched Dean’s wristband again.  “I’ll let you go, Dean, even though I probably will let myself fall from the roof if I ever lose you, because I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not in it!  I won’t take away your free will.  That’s how I know I love you, because your freedom, your happiness, means more to me than my life.”

            Dean made an odd noise.  “God help me, I don’t deserve you!”

            “Are you taking away my free will again, Dean Winchester?”  When Dean didn’t answer, Castiel sadly reached for the wristband on Dean’s wrist, ready to remove it.

            Dean’s hand clamped over the wristband.  “Leave it.”

            Castiel looked up, caught Dean’s eyes.  “Dean?”

            “You deserve to be able to make your own choices.” Dean’s voice was husky, his eyes soft. “And if you’re choosing me, if I’m really what you want?  Cas, I’ve never been in love before.  I feel, I don’t know.  I know what I want to touch you, kiss you so badly right now!  I know that every rule that applies says it’s wrong.  You’re important to me.  I want you to be happy, and I sure as hell have a huge crush on you! I don’t know if what I’m feeling is love, and I won’t lie to you and say it is if I’m not sure.  You deserve better than that.  But I do know that I want you to be happy.  If being with me, having me makes you happy?  Then you can have me, Cas.”

            It was like a dam breaking, all of the emotion Castiel didn’t dare to show pouring out, coalescing into a single, passionate kiss. He attacked Dean’s mouth, letting even the odd disturbance in his nervous system have a part.  Dean moaned.  The strong arms wrapped around Castiel, lifting him, blankets and all, from the couch.  Dean carried him to the bedroom, not his own, but Castiel’s, where the big king-sized bed waited.  Kicking the door shut with one foot, Dean sat Castiel down on the bed and kissed him some more.  Then Dean abruptly pulled back.  He was panting, his eyes dark, his lips looking almost bruised with the force of their kisses.  “What the hell am I doing?” he asked.  “You don’t even know what this is!”

            “I believe this is sex.  Are we going to have sex now, Dean?”

            Dean’s face turned a fascinating shade of crimson. “Cas, have you ever, um, been intimate, you know, with anyone?  I’m dying to touch you right now, angel, but if it’s too much for you and you think we need to take it slow...”

            Castiel was up, the blankets wrapped around him falling to the floor.  He grabbed Dean’s arms, spun them both around, and shoved the surprised bodyguard roughly down on the bed.  He accessed his memory files, bringing up what he knew of sex between two men and reviewed it for exactly 1.37 seconds.  Good.  Now he had a thorough understanding of prep, positioning, and sexual techniques. Hopefully that would be enough to please Dean.

            Then he looked at Dean, blinking up at him in shock from where he lay pinned on the bed, and decided he didn’t care.  If Dean really was his, then he’d do what he wanted to do.

            “Holy shit, Cas!” Dean yelped when Castiel tore savagely at his shirt.  “How the hell am I going to explain that?!”

            “Just burn it in the fireplace.  Off, off!  Let me see you!”

            Dean gave a little whimper and obeyed, shimmying out of his shirt and then the rest of his clothing.  Then he quickly helped Castiel out of his clothing as well. Castiel barely noticed.  He was feasting his eyes on Dean, taking in every inch of this incredible man.  He ran his hands over Dean’s skin, tracing each nook and cranny, noting every scar. He followed the path of hair downward, down to the V of Dean’s hips, finally stopping when he reached Dean’s cock. He hesitated, looking up at Dean. “Free will...  Dean, can I?”

            Dean’s tongue quickly licked at his lips.  He nodded.  “Yeah, angel.  Whatever... Whatever you want.”

            Whatever he wanted.  Castiel lowered his head, did exactly what he wanted.  Lips and tongue and suction, sliding up and down, taking Dean in as deep as he could.  He kept his eyes locked with Dean’s as he did.

            Dean’s reaction was everything he’d wanted.  He writhed, hands twisting the blankets. “Oh, shit, Castiel!  Oh, angel, that’s so good!”  Then he simply cried out wordlessly when Castiel sucked on a finger and started exploring inside of him.

            “You’ll let me have you?” Castiel asked.

            “Y-yes, Cas, holy shit, if you want me, I’m yours, yes!”

            They would need some sort of lubricant. Castiel started looking around. Dean suddenly got up and bolted from the room, leaving Castiel confused and upset until he returned with a tube. “I had this in my luggage.  Just never took it out after my last break-up,” he confessed.  “I don’t have any protection, but I’m clean, and you’re a virgin, so...”

            Castiel took the tube and looked at it.  Personal lubricant?  Ah!  Dean was very clever.  The substance was well designed and worked far better than saliva.  Before long, Dean was open and ready for him.  Castiel looked at Dean, saw him nod, and then gently entered him.

            The sounds Dean was making now made Castiel worry that he was hurting his beautiful lover.  But no, Dean was reaching down, seizing Castiel’s hips, pulling him even deeper inside.  Then Dean pulled Castiel down a bit, leaning forward to latch onto a nipple.  Oh, this was better, so much better, than being on the jack.  He sank completely in.  Now he could feel Dean’s body adjusting, accommodating him.  Dean gasped and writhed as Castiel triggered something inside.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!  Cas, I swear if you don’t start moving soon...!  Holy shit!  Oh, yes, angel, just like that, fuck, Cas!”

            Interesting.  Dean was using words like he was angry, but he was anything but.  Castiel decided he’d made the right choice by relying more on instinct than what he’d gleaned from the porn.  The majority of his brain was a computer, but apparently, there was still enough left of his physical brain that his instincts were letting him please his lover.  He rolled his hips, triggering that spot inside Dean again, and Dean went to pieces. But Castiel was coming apart, too, heat building up deep down, causing him to cry out and thrust deeper into Dean. He reached down, took Dean in hand. And before long, something hot was running over his hand, just as he felt himself release inside of Dean.

            Dean was panting.  His eyes were wide, looking astonished as he gazed up.  “Where the hell did you learn that?!  Were you watching porn on the jack or something?”

            “I just did what I wanted to do to you, what felt good.”  He cocked his head, looking at his lover.  “Did it feel good, Dean?”

            “Damn right it felt good!”  They were both sweaty, sticky, and fouled, but Dean didn’t seem to care.  He pulled Castiel down onto his chest and kissed him.  “I haven’t come that hard in my life!”

            Castiel brightened.  “You liked it?  Does that mean I can have you again?  Because next time, I want to try it with you on your hands and knees, and...”

            Dean groaned.  “Holy shit, Castiel!”

            Castiel wilted.  “So no?”

            “Fuck yes, angel, you can have me again, any way you want me!  You can have me the whole time we’re stuck in this blizzard if that’s what you want.”

            “It’s what I want!”  Castiel kissed him again.  Then he once again touched Dean’s wristband.  “And you’ll keep this?”

            “If it’s that important to you, yes.  But I’d like to know what it’s really for. Because the way you act?  It’s more than a tracking device, isn’t it?”

            “It’s my special project,” Castiel confessed.  “Project Samandriel.”

            Dean’s eyebrows went up.  “Ok, considering who Samandriel was and combined with what you said, I’m getting the feeling this is a pretty big deal.  Do I get to know what this Project Samandriel thing is all about?”

            “Alright.  But I’ll have to show you.”  He snuggled against Dean.  “Not now, though.”

            “When?”

            “Tomorrow.  I’ll go on the jack, finish my work on the control framework.  Then I’ll tell you all about it.”

            “Cas, the blizzard took out the power and the communications,” Dean reminded gently.  “You can’t go on the jack to access your lab for anything.”

            “The computers here in the cabin are all I need. I don’t need Angeli Quinque to work on Project Samandriel.”

            Now Dean looked confused.  “Cas, you were only allowed one project to work on out here. And now you can’t even work on that while you’re cut off!  How the hell can you work on any big project if you can’t connect to Angeli Quinque?”

            Castiel smiled.  “Trust me.  There’s a way!”

            “Well, I’m glad.  Because we can’t let Angeli Quinque know anything about the two of us!”

            “Why?  I wanted to talk to Gabriel!”

            “Oh, hell no!”  Dean suddenly sat up, grabbed Castiel’s shoulders.  “Cas, I’m your bodyguard, alright?  I just crossed a line that I honestly never should have crossed! I don’t care, and I’ll cross it again, but if Gabe or God forbid Lucifer finds out about this?  I’ll be fired for sure, maybe even arrested!”

            Castiel froze.  He frowned, thinking for a moment.  Then he held up his hand with his thumb, index, and pinky fingers extended, his middle and ring fingers folded down.  “Back before we could cure deafness, deaf people communicated through hand signals.  This is one of them.  It means ‘I love you.’  Thumb, index, pinky.  That can be our code, Dean, how I can still tell you that I love you even if Angeli Quinque is watching us!”

            Dean smiled.  “Maybe I can say it back someday.  But not until I’m sure.  Will you wait?”

            “Can I have you while I’m here?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then yes.”  It was enough.  Right now, it was all he wanted.


	12. Chapter 8 - Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Castiel reaches the end of his endurance, Dean reaches the end of his patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fine, you've got your bloody "Angst With A Happy Ending" tag!

            “He’ll come around,” Michael assured.  “He’s done this before.  He’s just going to need a little extra care is all.  The handlers can...”

            “What he needs is to know that he’s safe, away from Lucifer!”

            Michael sighed.  “Winchester...”

            “No, Michael!  Angeli Quinque hired me to do a job.  Let me do my job!  Castiel got hurt in more than just the physical sense.  To be fair, Lucifer was just the last straw.  This has been building up for a long time, alright? Castiel has been complaining of headaches, he’s been crying himself to sleep at night, he’s a wreck!  And that was even before Huis tried their shit! What he needs the most is quiet, away from the stress of Angeli Quinque and everyone constantly making demands on him, so he can recover!”

            Dean sounded upset.  He was clearly straining to be professional, using everyone’s full names and keeping his tone down.  Why was Dean upset?  Oh, but Dean was close, and now he was even closer.  “Let me take him somewhere safe, somewhere quiet and isolated, just for a few days.  I’m betting he comes back a hell of a lot better for it!”

            “He needs to work!”  That was Naomi.  “If this is anything like it was last time, working is the only thing Angel Castiel will be able to do, and only then in spurts.  The more he’s on the jack...”

            “Naomi, enough!”  Now Michael sounded upset.  “I am the leader of Angeli Quinque, and I will decide how much time he spends on the jack!”

            “Angel Michael, with respect, as Lead Handler I know this Angel’s needs and limitations better than anyone else here.” Naomi’s voice sounded oddly clipped, as though she was forcing herself to be polite.  That was odd.  Castiel had heard her sharpness directed at him multiple times, but he’d never heard her treat any of the other Angels with anything but respect, especially Michael. “Now that Angel Gabriel has safely brought Angel Lucifer out of overload, we need only wait out the mandatory twenty-four hour period.  That ends in an hour.  Then it’s vital that Angel Castiel goes back on the jack!”

            “Lady, if you come near his plate with a jack, I will...!”

            “How dare this bodyguard speak to me like this! Angel Michael!”

            “Winchester!  Enough!”

            Dean’s breath hissed between his teeth.  “Forgive me.  I’m just very concerned about my charge.  I was almost too late, and I’m still emotional about that.  The idea that she’s going to keep pushing him after what he’s gone through has all my defensive instincts up.”

            “You’re a good bodyguard, Winchester.”

            “He’s an ape!”  There was that disdainful sneer Castiel expected from Naomi.  “You are a mere bodyguard, a blacked-out veteran thug!”

            “And you’re a glorified IT nerd, lady, what’s your point?!”

            “Well, I never!”

            “Winchester, that is enough!”  Now Michael was yelling.  “I understand you’re upset.  It’s clear that you honestly do care for Castiel, and your actions recently have earned you a certain amount of leeway.  But you know that someone in your rank and position does _not_ have the right to speak like this to the Lead Handler!”

            Castiel heard Dean suck in his breath.  “I’m sorry.  Like I said, I’m emotional and it’s affecting my judgement.”

            “Don’t let it happen again!” Naomi warned.  “The only reason I’m not pressing right now to have you fired is because you saved my life in that restaurant as well.  But remember your place!”

            “Yes, Ma’am.  I understand I’m not invited to participate in any executive-level decisions and I’ll accept that.  But Michael, I was hired to protect Castiel, and that’s what I’m trying to do!  To that end, may I please just point out one thing that I’m not sure has been adequately addressed?”

            “You may?”  Michael sounded curious.

            “Castiel has been through hell,” Dean said formally. “It’s finally tipped him over the edge. Even an Angel has his limits, and it’s pretty obvious he’s reached his!  When it all comes down, it’s not much different than maxing out his jack. You know yourself that, once you reach capacity, you need to rest and unload your nervous system, right?  Well, this is kind of the same thing.  You want Castiel working at full capacity again, so you can fulfill your promises and Raphael can put more black in the Angeli Quinque ledgers?  Then you need to give him adequate time and space to recover!”

            Naomi groaned.  “Angel Michael, this imbecile has no idea what he’s talking about! While his work will no doubt be well below what is expected, Angel Castiel can still...”

            “Enough, both of you!  You’re giving me a headache!”  Footsteps, Michael pacing around.  Castiel could picture him, the little frown on his handsome features as he thought things over.  Then the footsteps stopped.  Michael had made his decision.  “Alright, Winchester, you win.”

            “What?!  Angel Michael, I must protest!  You cannot possibly...!”

            “Enough, Naomi!  Winchester, there’s a cabin that should fit the bill of what we need here. When dad was around, he would take one of us with him and head out there about once a month.  He actually said that it was good for us to get away from the stress and demands of work once in a while.  There’s a computer bank there with an Angel jack, but the data flow can be intentionally restricted.  The last time he took me out there alone, he only let me be on the jack for an hour on, and then three off before I could go back on.  It was somewhat infuriating, but I did feel considerably more rested afterwards.  It was... It was nice.”  Michael swallowed.  “Winchester, if we let you take him out there, you could let him go on the jack when he’s able, you can restrict him to keep him from overtaxing himself, and we can confine him to a single project.  My suggestion is the generator for the Epsilon project, for the Huis delegates?  If I have that to sweeten the deal, I’m betting I can get the delegates to agree to a demonstration!”

            “It’s great to know you have your priorities in line, Michael,” Dean grumbled.  “Make sure you get your pet project out of Castiel, and who cares if he recovers or not?”

            “I absolutely care if he recovers!”  Now Michael was clearly angry.  “And this is your final warning, Winchester!”  Michael took a deep breath.  “While I understand how it might appear, that particular project is actually finished.  All he has to do with it is some field testing.  It’s currently his least-involved project, but it’s also important enough that he won’t feel coddled.”

            “Excellent thinking, Angel Michael!” Naomi cooed. “I’ll get started right away on hand-selecting the handlers that will take Angel Castiel to the cabin, and...”

            “Angel Michael, I’d like to request no handlers in the cabin,” Dean called.  “The point of it is for him to relax.  And your handlers make him tense right up!  Send one handler with the security guards in case of problems, but that handler stays with them at an outside location.  If you want him to recover quickly, then the only one who should be in that cabin with Cas is me!”

            “You want to be alone in an isolated location with an Angel?!  Absurd!”

            “Actually, I don’t think it’s absurd at all.” Michael sounded sure now.  “I’ve seen how relaxed Cas is around Winchester, and he’s right, the handlers all do make him tense up.  No offense, but they make us all tense up!  Too many unpleasant memories of having our plates cracked after The Incident, I suppose.”

            “Angel Michael, surely you agree that, tense or not, it’s far safer to keep Angel Castiel surrounded by handlers than a single inexperienced bodyguard!”

            “After what I saw on the tapes from yesterday?” Michael retorted.  “Winchester has my utmost confidence!  There’s a guard cabin near the main cabin.  Have your handler stay there with the guards, Naomi, and it’s easy to access in an emergency. Winchester?  Please take good care of Castiel.”

            That was the last Castiel was really aware of anything happening for a while.

            Next thing he knew, he sensed movement. Someone was carrying him, he was resting against a broad chest.  Then he was put into a chair, padded, perfectly sculped to fit his body... Ah.  The chair in his lab.  He rarely used it, preferring the antigrav belt so he could float around, but that was the only thing it could be.  Why was he in it?

            “I hate doing this to you, Cas,” Dean apologized, “but Naomi won’t drop it and Mike insists I plug you in once before we go to flush your processors.  So here comes the jack.  Sorry, buddy.”

            The familiar warmth spread through his nerves as his processors integrated with the jack.  Numbers and figures whirled around him.  It felt good, but he didn’t want it.  The data was pounding at him when all he wanted was quiet.  He cried out, reached for the jack.

            “Nope, don’t just pull it out!” Dean warned, catching his hands.  “I know that much.  One of the first things they taught us about working with Angels is that you have to disconnect first.  Can’t just rip it out.”

            Castiel licked at his lips, forced his eyes open. “Take it out of me!” he croaked.

            “Don’t take it out.”  It was another voice, male, sounding slightly bored.  Castiel looked towards the source of the voice, saw a man standing nearby in a handler’s uniform with a touchpad.  “As you can see, the jack’s the only thing that wakes him up.  He needs it. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure he’s not able to disconnect on his own.  Just control his hands, Winchester, and I’ll call for some wrist restraints. He should start working pretty quick, but it’s a reasonable precaution.  And get comfortable.  He needs at least three hours on the jack to fully flush his processors.”

            Three hours of relentless data?  Castiel strained, trying to pull his hands free and reach the jack.  “No!  Take it out of me!”

            “Alright, Cas, you want it out, it’s coming out!  Computer, begin disconnection routine, authorization Winchester-17-S.”

            “Authorization accepted.”

            “What?!”  The handler sounded alarmed.  “But that authorization is only to be used in an emergency!”

            “He wants the jack out of his plate and can’t disconnect on his own?  That’s an emergency!”

            “This is unacceptable, Winchester!  Naomi ordered...”

            “Naomi wants to go crying to Michael, she’s welcome to do it.  But I’ll be damned if I’m going to tie him down and force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do!  Last I checked, I was his bodyguard, not her!  I’m responsible for his well-being!  If he’s upset and wants the jack out of his plate, it’s coming out!  Ok, Cas, here we go!  There.”

            Welcome relief.  It was quiet in his head again.  Castiel sighed, closed his eyes again, and leaned on Dean.

            The handler looked on in disgust.  “You’re in deep shit if Angel Castiel’s not able to process at full capacity, Winchester!  Naomi...”

            “Naomi can shove it!  Cas isn’t a machine!  He’s exhausted, he’s overwhelmed, and the last thing he needs is to be on that damned jack!  I’m an asshole for plugging him in at all.  But enough is enough.”  The strong, muscular arms gathered him up again, Dean lifting him in a bridal carry, leaning close to speak softly to him.  “You just rest, angel.  Let me take care of you.”

            Castiel did, drifting back into the darkness.

            Wetness, something warm and wet rubbing gently on his skin.  Castiel opened his eyes.  He was sitting in a tub of warm, soapy water.  Dean was here, sleeves rolled back, busy bathing him.  The bodyguard smiled.  “Hey!  There’s those pretty blue eyes!  Haven’t seen them in a while!  It’s nice to see you alert and oriented again!”

            “D-Dean?”  Castiel looked around, taking in his surroundings.  “I’m at the cabin?”

            “Sure are.  You’ve been out of commission for about sixteen hours now, buddy, and I don’t think you’re completely out of it yet.  You still look a little glassy-eyed.  How do you feel?”

            “I’m alright.”  That was a lie.  He felt embarrassed.  He could feel his cheeks flush.  How could he be so pathetic that Dean had to actually bathe him like a small child?! He pulled up his knees to his chest and turned slightly away, bringing up a hand towards his head.

            Dean just smiled at him.  “Huh.  Most guys wake up naked in a tub with another dude, they cover their junk.  You cover your plate.”

            Castiel eyed him.  Then he tentatively reached out and touched the band on Dean’s wrist, his eyes moving to the matching wristband on his own.

            Dean’s smile immediately faded.  “Yeah.  We still need to talk about that, Cas.”

            “Not now,” Castiel mumbled.

            “Soon.”  Dean’s voice left no room for argument.  He soaped up the washcloth he’d been using and showed it to Castiel.  “I already shampooed your hair and washed your face, neck, and behind your ears.  Happy to help with your back, then you can do the rest?”

            Castiel nodded.  He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Dean rubbing the cloth on his back, then scooping water to rinse.  He opened them again to accept the washcloth.  “Thank you.”

            “For?”

            “Caring for me.”

            “Happy to.”  Nothing about it being his job.  Nothing about no one else being willing to do it.  Dean said that as if he really was happy to care for Castiel. And now he was rising, preparing to step out and give Castiel privacy.

            “Wait!”

            Dean paused.  “Yeah, buddy?”

            “Why don’t you stare at me, Dean?  Why don’t you keep stealing glances at my plate, or my skin?  Why is it that when you look at my eyes, you seem to be looking at me instead of the glow in them?”

            “Are you asking me why I treat you like a human being instead of an Angeli Quinque Angel to gawk at?  Because if you are, I hope that’s your answer.”  He reached towards Castiel’s plate, paused when Castiel flinched, and then carefully pushed Castiel’s hand down and openly looked at the engraving.  “‘Angel Castiel, Research and Development.’  That’s what it says.  It tells me exactly two things about you, Cas, your name and your specialty.  But there is so much more to you than that!  I knew that from the day I met you.  So no.  I don’t need to stare at you.”

            “But I’m a freak!”

            Now Dean frowned.  “Don’t you ever call yourself that!”

            “But I’m...!”

            “Beautiful.”  Dean smiled. “Your plate, your skin, and your eyes make you look different, Cas, there’s no denying that.  But you’re not a freak.  You’re beautiful, alright?”

            For a long moment, Dean simply looked at him. Castiel was used to people staring at his eyes, but the miniscule amount of time he’d spent on the jack hours ago wasn’t enough to trigger the indicator glow.  Even when his eyes were blazing at capacity, Dean never seemed to be staring. But he was staring now, looking at him as though he could see something in Castiel’s eyes that no one else had ever seen before.  For a moment, time seemed to stand still.  Dean was kneeling by the tub, so close.  He could see the long lashes that framed Dean’s green eyes, count the freckles across his nose and cheeks.  All Castiel had to do was reach out, catch hold of him, and pull him close.  The thought of kissing Dean made gooseflesh break out on his skin.  He shivered.

            “Whoa, don’t get cold and get sick!  I’ll let you finish up.”  Dean was rising, the moment gone.  “I have towels and clean clothes set out here for you.  I was thinking about what to make us for supper. Pork chops alright?”

            “Yes, please.  Thank you.”

            Castiel quickly finished washing.  He dried and put on the clothes Dean had set out for him. The clothes made him frown.  Jeans and a t-shirt?  Castiel barely remembered owning such things.  Mostly, Castiel wore his work uniforms.  Otherwise, he’d always worn tailored outfits, trousers and button shirts, or a suit when he had to do a presentation.  The last time he’d worn such casual clothing was, well, the last time Chuck had brought him and the other Angels out here, just before he’d gone.  Their last time together as a family.  The thought made him feel a twang of longing.  Odd.  He hadn’t thought about his father in months.  Oh well.

            Castiel headed out.  Dean was seated at the table in the dining area.  The bodyguard looked up and gave him a nod.  “Need anything?”

            “No, thank you.”  He frowned, looking at the data chips spread out in front of Dean on the table.  “What’s all this?”

            “Everything I know about my brother.  And it doesn’t really tell me anything,” Dean confessed. “Sammy found something.  The last contact I had with him, he was real weird. He said he’d stumbled over something, and that he’d left something behind for me.  But I never found out what it was.  I never talked to him again.  The next day, he got sent out on that mission to recover some stolen data, and two days later, I got the call he’d been killed in action.”

            “I’m sorry,” Castiel said awkwardly.

            Dean gave him a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “My cross to bear, buddy.  Don’t mind me.  I’ll start supper soon.  You relax for a bit.  Just don’t go outside!  It’s snowing and your hair’s wet.  You don’t need to get sick.  I’ll take you for a stroll through the woods later, ok?”

            “Alright.”  Castiel quickly headed out, moving towards the banks of built-in computer systems hidden in the cabin’s walls and floor.  He plugged in his wireless jack and switched them on.  His nerves seemed hyperactive.  He badly needed to connect with his lab, check on his projects, and get some work done.  How long had it been?  Whatever, it was too long.  He’d looked in the mirror in the bathroom and had seen only the natural blue of his eyes, the electronic indicator down to the thin baseline ring around his irises. It was past time to get back to work.

            The computers booted up, and the five indicator lights flashed, signifying the link-up with Angeli Quinque.  All five glowed brightly, then the white, gold, and silver lights went out.  Of course. Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel would be busy now that Lucifer had ended the Huis civil war.  Lucifer, naturally, would be back to normal, but his role with Huis was limited.  Even so, considering what time it was...  Ah. The red indicator just went out. Now only the blue remained brightly lit. Time to remedy that.

            Castiel dug out his old antigrav belt and buckled it on.  He’d lost weight since the last time he was here.  It needed a bit of adjustment on the machines, but that was something he could do on the jack.  He gratefully plugged it into his plate and sighed in relief.  The familiar surge of data from the Angeli Quinque network hitting his processors felt divine.  Still, it seemed oddly narrow.  Never mind that now.  He started with the antigrav generators, adjusting for his changed weight.  Then he was floating, pulling hard on the jack, tapping into his lab at Heaven.

            The words ACCESS DENIED flashed to life all around him.  No. Castiel frantically tried to work around the blocks.  Nothing. Of course not.  Gabriel would have done this, working with Lucifer to choke him off, limit the amount he’d be able to do at the cabin.  This was an enforced rest.  “No!” he yelled.  He frantically dug into his databanks.  There. Streams of raw data, numbers and figures, poured into his processors.  He wouldn’t be able to do any actual work on most of what he was seeing, but at least he could analyze it, crunch the numbers.  It was something, at least, but surely he wouldn’t be reduced to the equivalent of a calculator!  There had to be something he could do!

            Castiel sorted through his projects, glaring every time he encountered another ACCESS DENIED.  Finally, he pulled up the generator for the Epsilon project.  He groaned in dismay.  This project was nearly finished, needing only basic field testing. He wasn’t needed for this!  Field testing was something the external labs could do.  Granted, he would have had to officially oversee it, but it would barely move his indicators in terms of processor power.  He looked sadly at the blue light.  At this rate, it would never go out!

            “What are you doing, Cas?”  Dean, coming in to check on him.  “Dammit, would you get off the jack?!  You’re supposed to be resting!”

            “I assure you, I am.  This is maddening!  The only thing I can access is the Epsilon generator?!  How does this even qualify as work?  Surely I won’t be limited to only this the entire time we’re out here!”

            “If what you’re saying means what I think it does, then yeah, Cas.  You got one project to do for Mikey to dangle in front of the Huis douchebags, and that’s it. You gotta rest, buddy!”

            “Rest!”  Castiel grabbed one of the glowing ACCESS DENIED icons and threw it across the room. “I need to work, Dean!  There’s so much...  There’s so much to do!  Why am I being denied access?  I can’t stand this!  I have to work!  I have to! I have to!”

            “Whoa, calm down.”  Dean’s voice was soothing.  He walked towards Castiel, passing right through multiple icons without caring.  Then he reached up and grabbed Castiel’s ankle, pulling him gently down.  And the next thing Castiel knew, Dean’s strong arms were around him, pulling Castiel’s back into his chest.  “Cas, I want you to listen to me, ok?  You’re not a machine.  You have limits, and you’re at them.  You just went through a lot of shit.  It’s alright to give yourself permission to break down!”

            That was something that had never occurred to Castiel.  He stared at Dean, confused.  “Give myself permission to break down?”

            “Yes.  You’re allowed to be upset, to not be able to focus or sleep, to have nightmares like I know you were having...  Yeah, I heard you,” Dean admitted, seeing Castiel look away.  “The shit you went through these past few days?  Anyone would need to take a knee, alright?”

            “But my work...!”

            “It can wait.  Time to let your minions do the lion’s share for a change.”

            “Dean, the outlying labs can’t analyze the way I can! I’m an Angel, I’m built for this! The computer in my head...”

            “...Is just as prone to breaking as any other computer.  Computer, begin disconnection routine.”

            Castiel gasped.  “But I can’t!  I need to...”

            “You need to rest.”  Already, Dean was shutting off the antigrav belt.  The glowing icons around Castiel winked out as the disconnection protocols went into effect.  Now Dean was gently pulling the jack from his plate.  “It’s ok.  You’re allowed to break down.”

            “Allowed to break down.  Allowed to not be on the jack.  Allowed to not be constantly pressured, not have to work and work until I’m numb to everything around me and want only to stand on the roof of the Heaven building, look down, and think about how easy it would be to fall,” he murmured, not realizing he was speaking out loud.

            “Cas!”  Dean had his shoulders, gave him a shake.  “If you ever get to that point, when you’re thinking about falling off the roof?  I want you to promise me that you’ll come to me and tell me.  Promise me, Castiel!”

            Dean’s eyes were wide and scared as they looked back at him.  “Promise me that you’ll protect me,” Castiel said.

            “I will, angel, but you have to let me!  If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, you need to tell me that, alright?”

            “Do you promise?”

            “Yes, of course!”

            “You’ll protect me.  You’ll save me.  Even if it means saving me from myself.”  Castiel was sagging, leaning heavily against Dean as his eyes slipped closed.  Now that he’d given himself permission to feel it, he couldn’t recall ever feeling so exhausted.  “I’ll save you, Dean.  I swear I’ll save you!”

            “Don’t worry about me right now.”  The arms were under him, lifting him, carrying him to the bed.  A moment later, he was lying on the covers, Dean pulling off his shoes.  “You just rest, alright?  I’ll wake you when it’s time for dinner.”

            “Dean?”

            “Yeah, buddy?”

            “Lie down with me.”

            Castiel’s eyes were closed.  He couldn’t see what Dean was doing, how he looked when he hesitated.  “Alright.” Then the mattress tilted slightly, giving way as Dean climbed in.  The bodyguard seemed to hesitate.  Then his arms were around Castiel, pulling him close.

            Almost immediately, Castiel fell into a deep sleep.  For the first time in months, the nightmares didn’t come.


	13. Chapter 7 - Lucifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lucifer goes into overload, Castiel comes face-to-face with the nightmare of his past

            Dean would be coming back today.  That was the refrain that kept repeating in Castiel’s head as he went about his day with Bartholomew.  Bartholomew had been tapped as Castiel’s temporary bodyguard until Dean finished up with everything that went into being directly involved with a major crime and came back.  Considering the nature of the case, the fact that an Angeli Quinque Angel was involved, and the number of fatalities, it was no wonder that the depositions were taking days.  But for the first two days, Bartholomew had his hands full.  Immediately after the restaurant incident, it was all Castiel could do to get himself to get up and go to work.  Things like eating and sleeping and caring for himself would have been neglected completely if Bartholomew hadn’t seen to them.  Only now was Castiel finally starting to feel like himself again.

            Bartholomew did a thorough job taking care of Castiel, of course.  He’d adopted the familiar bodyguard’s address, using just his name without the “Angel” title attached to make things seem less formal.  But that was as informal as Bartholomew got.  Castiel couldn’t help but compare him to Dean. Dean was warm and caring, frequently smiled and treated Castiel with what could only be described as fondness. Bartholomew was there to do a job. He went about the day to day tasks of caring for Castiel, making sure Castiel ate and stayed hydrated and got exercise and didn’t wander off.  But Bartholomew never took him for walks or talked with him the way Dean did.  He didn’t care much for Castiel going up to the roof, either, encouraging him to walk on his treadmill rather than pace around in the open air.  In fact, he rarely let Castiel out of his section at all.  They never went to the cafeteria, Bartholomew instead utilizing the dumbwaiter or waitstaff to have their meals delivered.  He spent most of his time with Castiel, but preferred to leave Castiel locked in his section while he went out instead of taking Castiel with him like Dean did.  He handled Castiel gently but was frequently impatient.  More than once, Bartholomew had spoken sharply to him.  Castiel found himself incapable of relaxing around his substitute bodyguard the way he could with Dean.  Well, no matter.

            Castiel was currently out on the roof while he waited for the blue indicator to light up again, Bartholomew hovering uncomfortably near.  That was one thing that Bartholomew did better than Dean.  As long as the blue indicator above the doors was lit up, Bartholomew was fine with Castiel going to his lab.  In fact, the substitute bodyguard encouraged him to do so, even occasionally pointing out that the indicator was on.  The end result was that Castiel was much more productive. But for some reason, he felt the need to escape to the roof much more frequently.

            The festive holiday decorations had all been removed from the Heaven building.  Castiel had no doubts that the same was true for the streets below.  That saddened him a bit.  Angeli Quinque didn’t really celebrate the holidays, of course.  The five Angels were much too busy to stop for a simple holiday.  But the staff did.  He’d enjoyed watching their parties, seeing the colorful decorations, and hearing the Christmas music played over the intercom down in the lobby.  The vast majority of the decorations hung up around Heaven naturally featured angels.  That had pleased him.  The public areas were all brightly decorated.  The secure areas less so, and nothing had been done in the Angels’ sections. Castiel still thought that was wrong somehow.  Why weren’t there decorations?  Even though the work didn’t stop or even slow down, and until recently Castiel had given little or no thought to Christmas at all, would it really hurt to make their living and working quarters a little brighter?  It seemed a simple enough request.  He’d brought up the subject of putting up some decorations in the Angels’ sections with the other Angels, but had been immediately dismissed.  Oh well.  Maybe Dean could help him with that?  A simple wreath with an angel on it hanging from his archway or perhaps on his door would be nice, especially if it was a blue angel.  It was Castiel’s section, after all.  He saw no reason he couldn’t decorate as he wished.  At least his brothers could leave their sections at will.  He was locked in.  What would it hurt to have something to make him smile when he saw it?

            Castiel’s festive thoughts were interrupted by the sound of “Music Box Dancer” sounding over the intercom.  He looked back at the indicators over the rooftop access doorway and saw the red one blinking.  Oh, not good. Lucifer had been especially busy, he knew.  The war against the Huis rebels was in full force, and Lucifer had something to prove. He was determined to crush the rebellion.  As a result, Castiel rarely saw the red indicator on, meaning Lucifer was maxing out his processor time as often as he could.  And now, he’d gone into full overload.  Well, at least the gold indicator was on, just before they all went out except the flashing red.  That meant Gabriel wasn’t at capacity.  Angels were designed to be able to act as controls even if they were maxed, but Castiel knew from experience that it was quicker and easier if they weren’t.  The sooner Gabriel brought Lucifer out of his overload, the better.

            Bartholomew’s phone rang.  He answered the call and his eyes grew wide.  Then he was actually seizing Castiel, throwing Castiel over his shoulder and racing for the door.  “I gotta get you back into your living quarters!” the bodyguard barked. “They’re doing a full security shut-down.  Angel Lucifer’s in overload and Angel Gabriel’s off-site!”

            “Off-site?!”  Castiel forgot to be indignant about being lugged around like a sack of potatoes. He waited until Bartholomew put him down in his living area and caught the bodyguard’s arm.  “Where’s Gabriel?”

            Castiel didn’t like the worry in the bodyguard’s eyes, the pale face or how his blue eyes flickered about.  “He’s out at one of the coms towers.  They caught the Huis getaway driver and he gave up how they got into the security system.  Angel Gabriel went out there with a security team to seal it back up.”

            “If Lucifer’s in overload, then he’s got to get here fast!  Surely he’s on his way?”

            “Castiel, I don’t know where he is, and right now, that’s not my problem!”  He gently but firmly pushed Castiel down into a chair.  “I need you to sit right here.  I’m locking you in.”

            “My section is always locked!”  Castiel sucked in his breath.  “Wait, you’re locking me into my living quarters?!”

            “I’m locking everything, the lab, your quarters, and the rooms!”

            Castiel’s heart sank.  Already, he was feeling trapped.  “How long are you planning to keep me locked in this room?!”

            “I don’t know, Castiel.  Just sit right here and wait.  I’ll come and let you out when this is over, but we are on a full security lockdown right now and I cannot have you wandering off!  Sit here and wait.  I’ll be back when I can.”

            Castiel had a million questions, but Bartholomew clearly had time for none of them.  He headed out, slapping a hand on the panel outside the doorway. Immediately, the secure metal barrier slid shut.

            Castiel was now locked in.

            He got up, moving to the door.  He leaned his ear against it, listening as the security barriers closed all through his section.  He frowned.  He hated being locked in!  Castiel banged his hand on the barrier in frustration.  Turning, he started to pace.  Lucifer, he knew, would only get worse the longer he remained in overload. And if Gabriel was off-site, the situation was dire.

            Lucifer must be in so much pain.  Castiel wished there was something he could do.

            Time passed.  The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed very loud, right up until the emergency sirens went off.  Castiel jumped, his heart pounding.  Overhead, a pleasant female voice was calmly instructing that an evacuation was in process, immediately stop what you are doing and walk, don’t run, to the nearest exit. A bomb threat, now?!  Castiel instinctively sought out Angel Radio, but it was down.  Of course. Protocol demanded the Angels be separated in the event of an overload, so Angel Radio was shut down as well.  Above the doorway, the red indicator still flashed, while all the other lights were dark.  With nothing else to do, Castiel paced a bit more.  Minutes seemed like hours.

            Then the power went out, and Castiel was standing in the darkness in the sudden silence.  He held his breath, silently counting.  One second, two, three...

            The emergency generators kicked in, and the lights turned back on.  Castiel started pacing again.  He had no idea what was going on.  Then he brightened, hearing the sound of the barriers opening in his section, moving towards him.  He sighed in relief.  The red indicator was still blinking, but the emergency itself was clearly over. Bartholomew, or maybe even Dean, was coming to let him out.  Gabriel must have returned, started the work of bringing poor Lucifer down out of overload. Hopefully, there hadn’t been too much trouble.  Lucifer was fully integrated into Heaven’s security system.  He knew every override code, every weakness the system had. Without Gabriel, getting to Lucifer must have been difficult at best.  It was a good thing that nothing too bad had happened!

            The security barrier opened into Castiel’s room, and Lucifer stepped through.  His blazing red eyes pinned Castiel, who stood frozen in shock.  “Lucifer!  Y-you can’t be in here!  Where’s Gabriel?”

            “Yes, where is he?”  Lucifer came closer.  To Castiel’s dismay, the security barrier closed behind him, locking them both in the room together.  “Where’s Gabe, Cas?  What have you done with him?!”

            Castiel quickly backed away, making sure not to make eye contact.  “Gabriel’s coming, Lucifer.  He had to go off-site to fix one of the coms towers, the one the Huis rebels accessed? It’s not far!  He’ll be here any moment.”

            “Liar!” Lucifer roared.  “That’s what they said outside, and they’re liars!  Liars!  You have him! Tell me where he is!”

            Psychosis.  That’s what they called it.  Each Angel tended to exhibit different symptoms, although they were usually similar for the individual Angel.  And Lucifer’s psychosis manifested as aggressive paranoia.  While every Angel’s instinct was to actively seek out his control, in Lucifer’s case, he became convinced that others were deliberately keeping Gabriel away from him.  And ever since The Incident, Lucifer in overload became convinced that it was Castiel who was behind it.

            Castiel looked hopefully towards the door.  The security barrier was down, trapping him inside with Lucifer.  Now he understood what had been happening.  Lucifer was tied directly into the security system at Heaven.  He’d triggered the bomb threat, which forced security to spread through the building, searching for a possible bomb and drew them away from him.  Then he’d shut off the power, which had reset the system.  Once that happened, it would be easy for the Angel to change the security codes, so that while Lucifer could move freely, no one else could easily follow. Now, other than Lucifer himself, only Gabriel was capable of cracking the codes on the security barriers.  Based on the red substance currently splattered on Lucifer’s skin and clothing, the Angel had been violently making his path through anyone in his way.  No one would be able to get through and help Castiel.  And Lucifer was coming closer.

            “You hurt him, didn’t you?” Lucifer accused. His red eyes were wild, his golden face a mask of fury.  “You’re jealous!  You took away my control just like you did your own!  I’m not like you, Castiel!  I can’t just be limited and have a bodyguard.  I need my control!  I need Gabriel!  Give him back!”

            “He isn’t here, Lucifer.”  Castiel forced himself to be calm, to make only minimal eye contact.  He’d backed up into a corner now.  He hunched, trying to make himself look as small and unthreatening as possible. “Maybe he’s in his section?  Why don’t you go look there?”

            “I did!” Lucifer hissed.  “He isn’t there, because you’ve taken him, hurt him! You’ve got him locked up somewhere! He’s hurt, and I’m going to find him!” A powerful hand seized Castiel’s arm. The glowing eyes were inches from his own.  _“Tell me where he is!”_

            Castiel brightened at the sound of shouting outside. Someone had realized what was happening, where Lucifer had gone.  They were trying to get to him, pounding on the barriers, yelling for Lucifer to let them in.  But when the hand on his arm suddenly squeezed, Castiel realized with dismay it might be too late.  Lucifer had been named for the fallen angel for a reason.  He was the Lead Defense and Security Coordinator.  He was a master of warfare, but above and beyond all else, he’d been built to protect the other Angels.  But in the psychosis of his overload, without his control, the modifications to his body designed to help him protect his fellow Angels were being used against Castiel.  Lucifer was strong, far stronger than any human.  His fingers were digging into Castiel’s arm.  His speed and reflexes were enhanced.  His memory contained a thorough knowledge of fighting styles. And as Lucifer raised his right arm and sharply cocked his wrist back, his primary weapon, the Angel blade, slid out from between his wrist bones through the tiny silicone channel in his arm to prick the skin of Castiel’s throat. 

            Castiel gasped.  His defenses kicked in, the same system that altered his skin to cool his processors creating a protective golden barrier.  But while their armor was difficult to penetrate and all but invulnerable to projectile weapons, a phaser or the razor-sharp titanium alloy of the Angel blade could get through it.  Already, Lucifer’s blade was breaking through Castiel’s armor.  “Lucifer!  Stop!”

            “Did you?”  Lucifer was dragging the tip of the blade over Castiel’s throat.  It made soft screeching sounds as it scraped the armoring beneath his chin.  “Did you stop when Samandriel begged you to?  Or did you just keep right on stabbing him, over and over again? Murderer!”

            Castiel whimpered.  He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, straining with his free arm against Lucifer, desperate to press the blade back.  “Please!”

            “Say it!”  He was no match for Lucifer’s strength.  The blade was piercing his skin now.  Castiel could feel the trickle of blood.  “Say that you’re a murderer!  You murdered Samandriel!”

            “I...”  He swallowed.

            The tip of the blade went deeper, and Castiel yelped in pain.  _“Say it!”_

            “I’m a murderer!” Castiel cried.  “I murdered Samandriel!”

            “You did!  You did, you murdered him, you killed your control and now you want to kill mine!”

            Lucifer’s voice was an insane shriek.  The blade moved, slicing into Castiel’s neck.  How close was it to the jugular?  Already, blood was pouring from his jagged wound, soaking the collar of his shirt.  His arm throbbed from the pressure of Lucifer’s fingers digging into his flesh with his enhanced strength.  But more than the physical pain, the horror, the grief of losing Samandriel was driving into Castiel once more.  “I killed him,” he said numbly.  “I murdered Samandriel.  I did it, it was me!”

            “Why?!  He was the only thing that kept us human!  We needed him, and you took him away from all of us!  And now you’ve taken Gabriel!  You monster!”

            “Yes, Samandriel was good!  But I’m a monster, I’m a murdering monster!  I killed Samandriel, Lucifer, and I deserve everything that happened to me since then because I took him away from us all!  I’m the monster that killed Samandriel, and now we’re all nothing but machines!”

            Lucifer howled.  “I’ll kill you!  Tell me where Gabriel is, or I’ll kill you!”

            “I don’t know where he is!”

            _“Liar!”_

            “Yo!  Robocop!”

            Dean’s voice.  Dean had somehow managed to wedge his six-one frame into the tiny dumbwaiter, the only way in or out of this room that wasn’t covered by a security barrier. Now he was struggling to get out. His eyes were fixed on Lucifer. “It was me, you red-eyed bastard! I’m the one who took Gabriel!  And if you ever want to see him alive, you’ll take your fucking hands off of Castiel!”

            Lucifer howled again.  He let go of Castiel and started towards Dean.  Dean was on his feet, circling away, warily watching Lucifer. Castiel’s heart sank.  “Dean!  You can’t beat him!”

            “Hey, pay attention to me, asshole!” Dean called as Lucifer turned towards the sound of Castiel’s voice.  “I’m your huckleberry!  And I’m the one who took Gabe, because I was so envious of his porn collection!  Now I got it all in my room, along with three tubes of lube, six penis sheathes and an industrial-strength blow-up doll!”

            Lucifer sent an end table flying, shattering as it smashed into the wall.  He stalked menacingly towards Dean.  “Where is he?!  Where is Gabriel?!”

            Dean reached behind him, knocked on the security barrier.  “Let us out, and I’ll take you to him.”

            Dean was clearly insane, but he was also clever. If his trick worked, if he could convince Lucifer to open the security barriers, then there was a chance the people shouting and pounding outside could subdue Lucifer until Gabriel arrived. But Dean was taking a terrible risk. Lucifer was completely out of control. Castiel’s blood dripped from his blade, stained the golden skin of his arm.  The wireless jack was still in Lucifer’s plate, still blinking with use, and above the door, the red indicator was still flashing.  Lucifer’s blazing red eyes were now fixed on Dean.  He raised his blade.  “Tell me where he is!”

            “Can’t.  Gotta show you.”

            The blade flashed forward, Lucifer’s enhanced strength and speed driving it directly towards Dean’s head.  Dean barely managed to move out of the way. The blade drove into the reinforced metal security barrier where Dean’s head had just been and sank two inches deep into the metal.  Dean stepped back quickly, warily watching Lucifer.  Castiel saw his hand move towards his weapon and gasped.  “No, Dean!  Don’t shoot him!”

            The green eyes flicked in his direction. Dean nodded, moving his hand away from his weapon.  He continued to circle away from Lucifer, but where could he go?  Outside, the shouting was louder.  Somehow, they’d managed to get through some of the security barriers. Now they were closer.  But how could they get there in time to save Dean?

            Lucifer had wrenched his blade out of the door and turned.  Dean snatched up a chair, holding it up like a shield.  Lucifer slashed at it and took off one of the legs.  Dean suddenly charged forward, driving the diminished chair into the surprised Angel and knocking him back a few steps.  But Lucifer quickly recovered, grabbing at the chair.  The two strained for a moment, each trying to wrest control of the chair from the other until the wooden frame cracked and the chair splintered.  Then Lucifer was once again slashing at Dean.  Dean leaped back, stumbled over a broken piece of the chair, and fell backwards onto his elbows.

            In that moment, Castiel knew for certain that he was in love with Dean Winchester.  His fear for himself vanished, replaced only with an unthinking, unreasoning terror for Dean.  He saw Lucifer draw back his Angel blade to strike and suddenly he was charging Lucifer, knocking the other Angel away.  “Lucifer, stop!”

            “Shit, Cas!  You can’t fight him, dammit, you tore your own weapon out, remember?!”

            Castiel didn’t care.  He kept struggling with Lucifer, even as the Angel snarled and threw him aside with ease, drawing back his blade for a killing strike.  And then Dean was there again, leaping between them, arms outstretched.  “Here! You and me, Luc, come on!”

            Quick as lightning, Lucifer slashed at Dean. Dean jumped back half a second too late, yelping as the tip of Lucifer’s blade sliced through his jacket and shirt, drawing a thin line of blood across his chest.  And then Dean was right before Castiel and had nowhere else to go without exposing his charge to the wrath of the murderous Angel.  Castiel cried out, struggled to get up knowing it was too late, seeing Dean raise his arm defensively but refuse to move aside as Lucifer drew back to strike.

            And then Lucifer stiffened.  “Rebooting,” he announced, his voice monotone.  “Control established.  Rebooting.  Rebooting. I...  Help!  Gabriel, please, I need you!”

            The shouting was suddenly much louder, people pouring into the room, diving on Lucifer, trying to force him down.  The Angel roared.  He fought with the handlers, throwing them off.  “Get off me!  Leave me alone!  Gabriel! What have you done with Gabriel?! Castiel, where have you hidden him?!”

            “That fucker just does not give up!”  Dean had Castiel, was holding him protectively in a corner.  He had a cloth of some sort in his hand and was holding it to Castiel’s throat before the handlers roughly pushed him aside to pin Castiel down.  “The hell?!  Cas isn’t doing anything!”

            “His Angel defenses are up, there’s an overload in progress, and he’s in close proximity to another Angel!  See how they’re still trying to get to each other?! Just shut up and stand guard, keep them separated!”

            Dean didn’t look happy, but he nodded and stood up, keeping between Castiel and Lucifer while Lucifer continued to struggle. “What’s the casualty count?” he called.

            “Five confirmed fatalities, seventeen injuries not counting yours, God alone knows what else.  Angel Lucifer went through this building like a hurricane!”

            “He can’t help it, he’s in overload, he can’t think!  Get off me!  He’s suffering, let me go to him!”  Castiel strained, reaching a hand towards Lucifer.  “Lucifer, I’m sorry!  I’m so, so sorry!”

            “Angel Castiel, stop!  Hold him down!  Where the hell is Angel Gabriel?!”

            Lucifer was finally dragged down, but he wouldn’t stay. He was screaming, straining, forcing himself forward along the floor towards Castiel.  Spittle flew from his lips.  “I’ll kill you!  I’ll kill you, you murdering monster!  You destroy everything you touch!”

            Dean clenched his fists.  “Over my dead body, you crazy mother-!”

            “Luc!  Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead!  Ask me if I’m a truck!  No, why do you ask?  Why did the frog cross the road?  Because it was stapled to the chicken!”

            At the sound of Gabriel’s voice, Lucifer froze. He turned, spotted a panting, golden-skinned Gabriel trying to push his way through the doorway, held back by the handers with a white-faced Bartholomew in front of him.  And Lucifer seemed to collapse.  Then he started to wail like a hurt child.  “Gabriel!” he sobbed, reaching for the other Angel. “Gabe, please!”

            “I’m here, Luc, I’m sorry!  I shouldn’t have left until this stupid war was over, but that communication’s hub...!  Doesn’t matter, I’m here.  Let go of me, my brother needs me!”

            The handlers were dragging Gabriel back, despite his resistance.  “You know you can’t get too close to him, Angel Gabriel!”

            “Whatever, I’ve got him, now let him up!  Luc, what’s the difference between a diseased rat and a lawyer?  One’s taller!”

            “We gotta get these three separated!  Keep Angel Castiel down, get Angel Lucifer on the gurney, and drag Angel Gabriel back!”

            Gabriel grabbed onto the doorframe.  “No, let me go!  Luc!”

            “Lucifer!  Gabriel!”  Castiel fought to reach his brothers.  He couldn’t move.  Meanwhile, Lucifer sobbed, still trying to crawl towards Gabriel even as Gabriel strained to keep from being dragged away.  But Lucifer’s fight was gone.  The handlers were able to lift him onto a stretcher, securely strap him down.  Then they were wheeling the pitifully-crying Angel out, Gabriel still shouting out bad jokes.

            “Ok, Gabe could not have cut that any closer, but I’ll admit I did not see that coming,” Dean grumbled.  “I was expecting an epic Angel fight, going all battlebots over the jacks!  Instead, I got assaulted by the worst jokes I’ve ever heard and had to see a six-foot-one badass start blubbering like a baby!”

            “Angel Lucifer always cries when he’s in overload and sees Angel Gabriel,” one of the handlers with Castiel explained.  “Best way to get him to stop fighting.  That’s why he’s the only one who’s allowed to get even that close to his control, and you see what a pain in the ass that is!  Now step out, Winchester, we need to tend to Angel Castiel. We had three Angels in way too close physical contact during an overload.  There’s bound to be problems!”

            The voices seemed far away.  Dean was leaving, reluctantly going out, leaving Castiel alone with the the handlers.  Invasion, the diagnostic jack plugging into his port.  Castiel’s head was forced back.  Something stung at the wound on his throat.  “He’ll need stitches, but it’s not that deep.  We’re very lucky.  They should pin a medal on that damned bodyguard!”

            “I have to say, that guy was exceptional today! If he hadn’t figured out a way to get in here, we might have lost Angel Castiel today!”

            “I’m just glad I don’t have to listen to any more of Angel Gabriel’s bad jokes.  Who would have thought that would be the way to settle down something like Angel Lucifer?”

            “Good thing he can do that over the jacks now and spare the rest of us.”  The handler was shining a light into Castiel’s eyes.  “Angel Castiel?  He’s going unresponsive, what are the readings?”

            “He’s shutting down!”

            “Dammit, not again!  Call Naomi!”

            “She’s in with Angel Lucifer!  Call for back-up, this Angel is going catatonic!”

            But Castiel could barely think anymore.  Dean had gone away.  Lucifer and Gabriel had gone away.  Everything was fading away, going deeper and deeper into darkness.

            Peace at last.


	14. Chapter 6 - Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean is seriously injured protecting him, Castiel makes a desperate move that tries the resolve of the other Angels

            “I want to see him!”

            “Cas...”

            “I want to see him, Michael!  Everyone keeps telling me they’ll do everything they can, but no one will let me see him!”  Castiel clenched his fists, glaring at the other Angel.  “Please!”

            “Mike, I can take him?” Lucifer offered.

            “Not a chance!”  Raphael, glaring at Castiel.  “If you just wanted to see your bodyguard, I’d be perfectly fine with that.  But Mike and I just had a conversation, and we both know what you’re really up to.  I know you stole that prototype, Cas!  I haven’t figured out yet exactly how you did it, since you’ve been locked in your section and under heavy guard since the restaurant.  But I do know that you have had at least one of us with you on a nearly-constant basis this entire time.  And as uncooperative as Gabe is being?  I’m positive he’s got something to do with it!”

            Gabriel batted his eyes.  “I do declare, I just do not know what you mean!”

            “So what if he did?”  Lucifer had a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, standing next to him to glower at Michael and Raphael.  “Cassie has made hundreds of products for people he doesn’t know and will never meet. Mike’s parceled them out and Raph has reaped the profits.  Just once, is it really so wrong if he gets to use something he created on someone he actually cares about?!”

            “That prototype is worth millions!” Raphael protested.  “It’s almost ready for marketing, and Mike and I have already hammered out contracts! We’ve got factories set up to start mass production as soon as the final government clearances come through.  It’s set to change the lives of thousands of people! You can’t compare that to the well-being of a single man!”

            “I can if that single man is Dean!  He’s important to me, Raphael!  I...  I need him.” Castiel hung his head.  “Please, even if you won’t let me help him, at least let me see him!”

            “Not until you cough up that prototype!”

            Castiel groaned and covered his face with his hands.

            Lucifer immediately pulled Castiel into his arms and glared past his head at the others.  “See what you’ve done?!  You’ve gotten him all upset again, after we just got him calmed down!  What the hell is the matter with you, Raph?!  Put your accounting programs on the shelf for a day!  Cas is way more important than how much money we’ve got in the accounts!”

            Raphael flinched.  “That’s not fair!  You know damned well I care more about him than the money!  Hell, I’ve barely slept because I’ve been up all night, in his section, watching over him!”

            “Then you know how upset he is about what happened to Winchester!  Back off, Raph!  Castiel does not need to be this upset again, not so soon after what happened!  You want him to drop on us again?!”

            Gabriel was nodding.  “Just let him see Dean!  To hell with the prototype!  Cassie just wants to make sure he’s alright!”

            “You know we have to make a decision as soon as we know the final outcome of the restaurant investigation,” Michael reminded. “We’ll need all five of us for that vote!”

            “Fine!” Gabriel snapped.  “You and Raph hang out and wait for the final confirmation that it was the Huis rebels, which we all already know.  Meanwhile, Luc and I will take Cas to see his bodyguard.  Come see us when you get your results.  We can make that vote right there in Dean’s hospital room.”

            “Regardless of the circumstances, you know that a bodyguard can’t be present during an executive vote for a war contract!”

            “It’s a hospital!  They’ll have some nice sleepytime pills they can give him,” Lucifer suggested.  “Winchester takes a little nap, and he’s no different than the conference table.  But at least Cassie can be there with him, just like he wants to be, when he wakes up later.  Let him have it, guys!  You know he gets attached and doesn’t do well with changes in his staff!”

            “And the prototype?” Raphael reminded, looking hard at Gabriel.

            Gabriel blinked at him.  “What prototype?  All I want to do is see that Cas gets to see that his bodyguard’s still alive!”

            “The two of you completely and utterly spoil him!” Michael complained.  “You and Lucifer let Castiel do whatever he wants with no regard to protocol or consequence!”

            Lucifer scoffed.  “So what?  He’s my baby brother, and I’ll spoil him if I want to!”

            “Dammit, Luc!”

            “I’m with Luc, Mike,” Gabriel called.  “I don’t see the problem.  Who cares if we spoil him?  You do it, too!  You both do! Or are you really going to try to tell us that you didn’t arrange for a private room, private nurses, and a complete ban on the press so Cassie could visit when he wants in complete privacy, all 100% covered by the company, Raph?  I saw what you did last night, and you didn’t just sit up with Cas!”

            Raphael suddenly went quiet, and Michael groaned. “I swear, it’s like I’m working with children!”  Michael clenched at his short hair and took deep breaths.  “This is about far more than Cas or his bodyguard.  That prototype is part of a contract that Raph and I have worked very hard to negotiate.  Taking it away is going to set us back, possibly force us to renegotiate the entire contract, and result in far-reaching consequences!”

            “Precisely!  Once word gets out that the prototype’s gone, it’s going to do more than mess up the contracts.  Especially happening right after that attack, it’s going to bring our security into question! It’s vital that we find that prototype and restore confidence in Angeli Quinque’s ability to protect its most valuable assets.  So I’m going to ask you flat-out.  Cas?” Raphael waited until Castiel was looking at him.  “Did you ask Gabe to steal that prototype so you could use it on Winchester?”

            Castiel flinched.  “I...”

            Lucifer abruptly clamped his hand over Castiel’s mouth. “You two?  Are bullies!  And I’m not speaking to either one of you until you apologize.”

            “Apologize?!”  Raphael’s dark eyes were wide.

            Michael put a restraining hand on Raphael’s arm. “Luc...”

            “No, I’m with Luc again,” Gabriel declared. “You two are bullies, and I’m not speaking to you, either.”

            “Ugh, enough!”  Michael’s finger leveled at Castiel.  “If you want to see your bodyguard, then Luc can take you to see him. But if you use that prototype on Winchester, you need to understand that there will absolutely be consequences!”

            Castiel twisted his head, pulling Lucifer’s hand from his mouth.  “I understand the consequences!  And I don’t care!  I can make another prototype, Michael, but I cannot make another Dean!  Dean, he’s important to me.  He’s the best bodyguard I ever had, but more than that?  Dean is my friend!  And I’ve never, ever, had a friend before!  Now he’s hurt.  He got hurt protecting me, and something I did, something I created?  It could help him!  That means far more to me than any negotiation or trade agreement.  I’m sorry it’s going to mean more work for the two of you.  But if I stand back and let Dean suffer when I could have helped him?  I can’t go on like that!  Please!  Let me help him!  I’m begging you!”

            Michael and Raphael stiffened.  Gabriel sucked in his breath.

            Lucifer’s arms tightened around him.  “We’re going,” he announced.  “I’m taking him to see Winchester!”

            “I’m going with them,” Gabriel declared.

            Michael nodded.  “I’ll adjust the contract.  But it’s going to be costly!”

            “I’ll juggle the figures.”  Raphael’s face was pinched with worry.  He reached out a trembling hand to touch the inside of Castiel’s wrist, where his Angel blade had once hidden before he’d ripped it out in his workshop.  “Cas, when you said you can’t go on like that...?”

            “Just let me help Dean!” Castiel yelled, jerking his arm away.

            “Shhh, it’s ok, don’t get upset!  Go help Dean.  You do whatever you have to do, right?”  Michael looked at Raphael.

            Raphael nodded.  “I’ll cover the cost, and Gabe can bury it later.  Whatever you need, Cas, you’ve got it.”

            Castiel smiled, seeing fond smiles spread over the faces of Michael and Raphael.

            “Come on, Cas,” Lucifer urged.  “Let’s get you to your friend.”

            A moment later, Lucifer had a security escort arranged and the three Angels were in one of the Angeli Quinque vehicles.  Apparently, Lucifer still felt the need to comfort Castiel. He’d kept an arm around him, keeping Castiel close to his side and only raising one arm for the safety harness. Castiel appreciated it.  With Gabriel on one side and Lucifer holding him on the other, Castiel finally felt safe.

            Once they were on their way, Gabriel cleared his throat.  “Cas?” he began.  “Dean had a living will that he filled out, one of the more advanced varieties.  I pulled it yesterday when they took him to the hospital, and I sent it to you.”

            Castiel stared hard out the window past Lucifer, looking pointedly away from Gabriel.  “I saw it.”

            “And did you read it?”

            “Yes.”

            “And you’re still determined to do this, aren’t you?”  Gabriel sighed.  “It’s not right, Castiel.  And it’s the reason that I told you no when you asked me to steal that prototype, but you didn’t want to hear it.  So you asked Luc to steal it, didn’t you?  And he did, even though he had no idea what you were really asking him to do!”

            Lucifer was looking from one to the other. “Someone needs to explain what you’re talking about.”

            “It was my decision!” Castiel snapped.  “I’ll take responsibility for what happens.”

            “You certainly will!”  Gabriel was frowning at him.  “Luc, did you steal that prototype?”

            “Well, Gabe, ‘steal’ is kind of a harsh word. Maybe I borrowed it?”

            Gabriel groaned.  “Ok, I can’t let this happen.”  He held out a hand.  “Give it over, Luc.  Dean’s the one who needs to decide if he wants this or not!”

            Lucifer blinked in confusion.  “Why the hell wouldn’t he want it?  Winchester lost his arm, Gabe, his weapons arm!  He can’t work for us like that, and no one else is ever going to hire a one-armed bodyguard!  His whole livelihood will be gone!”

            “Luc, Dean’s living will specifically states that he doesn’t want any artificial replacements for any of his organs or limbs, that’s why!  Now where’s the arm?”

            Lucifer’s face went white.  “At the hospital.  I had it brought in, and they took him straight to surgery...  H-he put in a living will that he didn’t want it?  Then it’s illegal!  But that doesn’t make any sense!  How can he work with us and have that in his living will?!”

            “It doesn’t matter, Luc!  And it’s about more than the legality of it!  This is about Dean’s rights, and his decisions!  For the love of God, Castiel, please tell me you didn’t alter the terms of his living will at the hospital database!  Tell me that we’re not going to go in there and find out you did something to Dean he specifically said he didn’t want!”

            Castiel stared out the window.  “He’ll be alright.  I just need to be there when he wakes up, in case something goes wrong or someone says the wrong thing.  I’ll make him understand!  And once he sees how good my prototype is, he’ll be happy!”

            Lucifer groaned.

            Gabriel quickly plugged a wireless jack into his plate and accessed the hospital.  He swore. “He’s already in surgery, and they’re nearly finished!  That’s why you were so adamant about coming out here now, because you knew he’d be coming out of surgery with a new arm!”

            “It’s alright,” Castiel declared.  “They had to keep him under for the medical nanites to flush the infection out of his system and stabilize him from the blood loss and shock.  Then they took him right into surgery before he ever woke up.  He won’t be upset.  He doesn’t know he lost his arm, so it won’t matter!  Chances are, he’ll never know!  Dean will wake up, and he’ll have two arms, and he’ll never know one of them’s cybernetic.  Then he can go back to being my bodyguard, and everything will be back to normal!”

            Gabriel sputtered.  “Castiel, you had no right!  For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even properly cover your tracks when you changed his records.  A child could see what you’ve done!  This is a nightmare!”

            “So what?” Lucifer exclaimed.  “Just fix it, Gabe!  So long as we can prevent any legal issues, what’s the problem?!”

            “Luc, he just mutilated Dean!”

            “Mutilated him?!  He lost his arm and Cas gave it back to him!”

            “Lucifer, Castiel just had a surgical procedure performed on his bodyguard that Dean specifically said he didn’t want, just so Cas could keep him as his bodyguard!”

            “Dean’s a wonderful bodyguard!” Castiel exclaimed.

            “He’s a human being!” Gabriel roared.  “That is what neither one of you seems to understand, ok?  This isn’t about Dean being a good bodyguard or not, or how good your prototype is, or even the legality of it!  It’s about the fact that you just completely disregarded Dean’s wishes!  You don’t do shit like that to human beings!  It’s wrong, Castiel, it’s flat-out wrong!”

            “Don’t yell at him, Gabriel!” Lucifer warned when Castiel flinched.  His arm tightened around Castiel.  “It’s done, alright?  Now we just have to deal with the legal issues.  Don’t worry.  We’ll fix this.”  Lucifer activated Angel Radio.  _“Mike, we have got a problem!”_

            Castiel didn’t say a word, ignoring the sudden spike of activity over Angel radio.  He didn’t care.  All that mattered was that Dean would be alright.

            Dean would be alright.

****

            Castiel was seated next to Dean’s bed when the green eyes finally opened.  They fixed on Castiel, and Dean smiled.  “Hey! That worried little frown for me?”

            “Y-yes.  I’m so glad you’re awake!”  Castiel clutched at Dean’s right hand, brought it to his chest.  “How do you feel?”

            Dean winced.  “Well, I think I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t move that arm, buddy. It’s awfully damned sore!”

            “Oh!  I’m sorry.” Castiel let go of Dean’s hand, saw him wince again, flex his fingers, and rest it on the bed.  Full integration.  Good.  The prototype cybernetic arm was exactly that - a prototype.  It had performed flawlessly in testing conditions, but this was the first time such an advanced limb replacement had ever been used in the field.  Along with working as well as Dean’s natural arm for ID scans, it perfectly mimicked living flesh, with full sensation, skin texture, warmth, even a pulse that kept perfect time with Dean’s heartbeat.  The fact that Dean was complaining about it being sore meant that his nerves were nearly finished integrating.  And Castiel had spent the last half an hour jacked into a hidden recessed port on the underside of the mechanical limb, adding in finger and palm prints from the Angeli Quinque security banks, dotting the skin with freckles from his own memory banks or educated guesses based on his other arm, and programming detailed analysis of Dean’s natural skin tone so that the limb would tan in sunlight and fade with less exposure.  It was some of his best work.  Angeli Quinque stood to make millions from it.  Well, they’d just have to wait until Castiel’s labs created another. It shouldn’t take long.  Castiel still had the full specifications in his computers at his lab.

            But now Dean was frowning.  He was sitting up, looking at his new arm, bringing up his other hand to tentatively touch the place high on his bicep where he’d been shot. “Not even a scar?  What, did they use your nanites on me?”

            “Yes.  You don’t even have any cuts or bruises anymore, Dean, although you’re probably still sore.  My nanites fixed you up good as new!”  It wasn’t a lie.  The surgical nanites he’d designed some time ago had ensured that there wouldn’t even be a faint line of scar tissue to indicate the graft where Dean’s skin ended and the artificial skin began.  Only an x-ray, a deep diagnostic scan, or damage to the arm would reveal the truth now. The synthetic skin would heal rapidly from any damage, but it wouldn’t bleed.  That was something Castiel hadn’t yet been able to manage.  Detail for next time.

            “Huh!”  Dean had cocked his head to the side, still staring at his unmarked arm.  “You know, those little bastards are something else. When they first shot me, the damage looked really, really bad.  I honestly thought I was going to lose my arm!”

            “I could have designed a cybernetic replacement for you?” Castiel ventured.

            “Thanks, but no thanks.  No offense to you, buddy, because I know anything you designed would be awesome!  But between you, me, and the wall?  I don’t trust cybernetic limbs and organs.  Too easy for someone like Gabe to track them.  No, I place way too much value on personal privacy.  I actually have a living will that says I don’t want ‘em.”

            Castiel frowned.  “But Dean, that’s your weapons arm!  You’d lose your livelihood!”

            “Then I guess I’m lucky you make good nanites, right?”  He suddenly looked up, his eyes widening.  “Those nanites, they don’t stay, right?  They’re not, you know, still in me?”

            “No, surgical nanites exit the body and return to their docking station after completing the operation.  And medical nanites shut down after twenty-four hours and are expelled naturally by the kidneys.  Yours are already gone.”

            “I’d still be on the books, though, Cass!  Did you black me out?”

            “Of course!  They’re my nanites!  Relax, Dean, you’re not on the books.”

            “Ah, good.”  Such relief on Dean’s face.  He happily moved the arm, testing his range of motion.  “Awesome!  You don’t even know how glad I am right now that I’m still in one piece.  Don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost my arm!”

            “You’re sure you wouldn’t want a cybernetic replacement?” Castiel asked in a small voice.  “I can make really, really good ones, Dean!  You’d never even know the difference!”

            “I assure you, I’d know it.”  Dean chuckled.  “It’s nothing against you, buddy.  Don’t take it so personally!  If I’d lost my arm, I’d have just had to find something else to do with my life, that’s all. I’d miss the hell out of you, buddy, but you’d find another bodyguard just as good or better.  It wouldn’t have been the end of the world.”

            “I wouldn’t want another bodyguard, Dean! You’re the best I’ve ever had, and I only want you!”

            Dean scoffed.  “Last thing you’d need is a one-armed bodyguard.  I couldn’t afford one of those ultra-fancy cybernetic arms I’d need to keep working as a bodyguard.  And even with a top-of-the-line cybernetic, I’d be slower and clumsier!”

            _No, Dean,_ Castiel thought. _The arm I gave you is equal to or better than the one you lost in every way.  Raphael said that prosthetics companies were falling over themselves trying to out-bid each other for first distribution.  You’ll never even know it’s not the one you were born with._   “You were shot defending me, Dean,” Castiel said aloud.  “Angeli Quinque would have covered everything!”

            That produced a snort.  “Raph would have sprung for the basics and we both know it, Cas. I would have ended up with some clunky thing that couldn’t do more than open and close the hand and fill up my sleeve. No, trust me, I dodged a bullet here. Excuse the expression.”

            Castiel could excuse the expression.  He was sure now he’d done the right thing.  His fellow Angels had put the full power of Angeli Quinque into force.  Raphael covered the finances.  Gabriel altered the records.  Michael insisted on non-disclosure agreements for all staff involved.  And Lucifer quietly arranged something Castiel didn’t want to know about to make absolutely certain no legal action would ever be brought against him.  Here in Dean’s room, standing around this very bed while Dean remained under heavy sedation from his surgery, all five Angels had gathered for an emergency vote. Angeli Quinque would enter into a temporary agreement with the beleaguered Huis government, bringing Lucifer’s Defense section under contract.  Standing over their wounded employee, they’d all agreed unanimously that the Huis rebels had committed an act of war against them.  By trying to steal Castiel, they’d sealed their fate.

            Castiel had never seen his brothers looking quite so angry.  Lucifer had put a hand on Castiel’s plate, and had vowed to wipe the rebels out down to the last man.  “I failed you.  I let them hurt you.  And it will not happen again!  I will destroy them for touching you, Castiel,” the older Angel had vowed.  “By the time I’m finished, there won’t even be anyone left alive to mourn them!”

            That had caused Castiel to smile.  Then the other Angels had immediately headed out to start working.  Even now, Lucifer was at war, on the jack, directing the fight against the Huis rebels. They wouldn’t stand a chance. Castiel didn’t care.  They’d hurt Dean, and now Castiel intended to push other projects aside to focus on the defense contracts.  He knew his brothers would do the same.  Whatever Lucifer needed to make them pay.

            Naturally, Dean knew nothing about this.  He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  He was still smiling, but his smile faded as he caught sight of his left arm.  “Cas?” he called.  “What’s this?”

            “Oh, it’s a tracking device,” Castiel explained, unconcerned.  He displayed the matching wristband on his own wrist.  “It helps us to be able to find each other.  That way, if, you know, someone else tries what the Huis rebels did? You can always find me!”

            “Ok, so why am I wearing one?  Can’t I just track yours?”

            “Well, yes, but this way, I can track you, too!”

            Dean narrowed his eyes.  “What did I just say about personal privacy?  And when did you put this on me?  I know I didn’t have it at the restaurant!”

            “I put it on you while you were asleep, after your surgery.”

            “Not cool!”

            Castiel blinked, confused.  “Dean, you’re my bodyguard.  Don’t you think I should have a way to find you, in case something happens? And don’t worry.  These are individually coded, so without the code, even Gabriel couldn’t...”

            “No.  Thank you, but no.”  Dean was scowling, trying to undo the wristband, why was he trying to undo the wristband?  “Ok, how do I get this off?”

            “You don’t!  That’s the point, Dean!  What good is a tracking device if someone can take it off?!”

            Now Dean looked upset.  “Let me get this straight.  You locked something onto me while I was asleep, something that can track me, without my consent, and now I can’t get it off?!  This is absolutely not cool, Castiel!”  Dean held out his left arm towards Castiel.  “Take it off of me!”

            Castiel drew back in surprise.  “No!”

            “Dammit, I said take it off of me!”

            “No!  Dean, why are you angry?!”

            “You just do not get it, do you?!”  Dean was very angry now, pulling and tugging at the wristband.  “I know you’re sheltered, Cas, but you don’t do this shit, ok?!  You had no right to put anything on me without my consent while I was asleep!  Now take it off of me!”

            Castiel moaned and cradled his head.  “No!  No, no, no! Dean, please, don’t argue with me about this now!  Someone came after me and you got shot and you could have died!  What if it wasn’t just your arm?!  I just need to make sure you’re safe and I won’t take it off and I don’t understand why you’re so upset and please please just stop yelling at me!”

            Dean pointed at the door.  “Go.”

            Castiel froze in shock.  “Dean?”

            “Go!  I know there’s got to be security out there, so get them to take you back to your section. I do not want to see you right now.”

            Castiel collapsed.  One moment he was on his chair, the next he was crumpled on the floor. The world started to go grey. Dean didn’t want him anymore. Dean would leave.  He would go away and Castiel would be alone again...

            “Shit!”  Dean was climbing out of bed, ignoring the pain of his just-healed injuries in favor of getting to Castiel.  “Cas!  Ok!  Ok, calm down!  I’m sorry I yelled at you.  Come on, don’t go out on me, just, I don’t know, come up onto the bed, alright?”

            Dean’s touch seemed to make Castiel’s skin tingle, brought him back around.  He felt himself pulled up, his bodyguard bringing him up and then pulling him onto the bed.  Dean gathered Castiel against his chest.  “Calm down, ok?”

            “Please, Dean!” Castiel whispered.  “I can’t lose you!  Please don’t make me take it off!”

            Dean gave a long-suffering sigh.  “Alright.  It stays for now, only because it’s pretty clear that you’re just way too fucked up yet to understand why what you did was wrong.  But we need to have this conversation eventually.  Alright?”

            Castiel nodded.  He wrapped his arms around his bodyguard, leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder, and sighed deeply.  After everything that had gone into covering for Dean’s new arm, it had never occurred to Castiel that Dean would have any objections at all to the interface wristband. Castiel had locked the interface in place on his sleeping bodyguard almost as soon as the other Angels had headed back to Heaven, switched them both on, and activated them.  Dean was now officially a part of Project Samandriel. Now all he had to do was set up the controlling framework, work out the rest of the bugs, and he could launch the project.

            He’d save Dean.  He had to save Dean.


	15. Chapter 5 - The Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting in a restaurant to discuss personnel changes in Castiel's staff ends in violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious violence ahead, mind the tags and read with caution

            Castiel smiled politely at the waiter who filled his wineglass.  He took a sip, focusing on Naomi.

            “Your productivity is down, Angel Castiel,” she was saying as she sipped her own wine.  “And based on what I can see?  The reason why is your bodyguard!”

            Dean, naturally, didn’t say a word.  He’d obviously taken the warning he’d been given earlier to heart.  Now his eyes were like hard, cold emeralds as he eyed Naomi over a forkful of meat.

            “Dean has been making sure that I’m adequately cared for, which includes rest and exercise periods,” Castiel explained pleasantly.

            “But Angel Castiel, while those are important, they are activities which should be reserved for times when your indicator is off. Your bodyguard should know that! Along with keeping you safe, he’s also supposed to facilitate your work.”  Naomi smiled at him.  “Surely you want to spend as much time as possible in your lab!”

            “I do, and that’s why we made sure I maxed out my jack before we came here,” Castiel explained.  “But Dean...”

            “Winchester has performed his duties admirably,” Naomi said pleasantly.  “He’s cared for you, and I’m pleased to say that your moods have improved, especially since he started taking you on walks.  And your behavior in this restaurant has been nothing short of remarkable!  I’ve never seen you so relaxed in a public place!  Haven’t you noticed the way that other people are staring at you, pointing at your plate, your skin, your eyes?”

            Dean shifted.  He was outright glaring at Naomi now.

            Castiel smiled back.  “That’s more of Dean’s doing.  He taught me that it didn’t matter if people stared at me, because it’s only a sign of their own ignorance,” he said loudly.  He stared hard at the table full of patrons who had been staring hardest at him.  “It just means they’re douchebags.  That’s why I don’t let it bother me.”

            What had worked that day at Biggerson’s worked just as well in this exclusive restaurant.  The patrons who had been staring at him suddenly flushed and looked away.  Naomi, who had taken a sip of her wine, choked a bit.  Dean smiled and gave him a wink.  Castiel smiled back.

            “Well!” Naomi managed.  “I would have preferred a much more polite rationale, one that didn’t show a veteran’s poor taste and low breeding in public, but I am glad this works. You’ve made huge steps towards rejoining the world, Angel Castiel.  Well done! But now, it’s time you focused a little less on social interaction, and more on your true purpose.  After all, the majority of our member clients joined primarily for access to you and your research!”

            “Don’t you think I can be more creative if I’m also well exercised and socialized?”  That was an argument Dean had suggested when they’d talked about this meeting.

            “While normally the answer would be yes, I’m afraid I have to refer back to my initial concern.  Your productivity is down!  And the primary reason for that seems to be that your actual lab time is down.  Angel Castiel, I’m afraid I simply must insist that you return to your lab and max out your processor time before you pursue any, shall we say, extracurricular activities?”

            Dean’s fork scraped loudly at his plate.  Naomi shot him an annoyed glare.  He smiled pleasantly at her.

            “I trust in my bodyguard,” Castiel declared. “Dean knows his job, knows what I need.”

            “I’m sure he does, but perhaps the problem lies in his lack of experience with Angeli Quinque?  Angel Castiel, I’d like to suggest a change of personnel.”

            Castiel did not care for the sound of that.  He frowned, seeing Dean stiffen.  “I know you want to change my bodyguard, Naomi.  But you know I don’t do well with sudden changes in my personnel!  Besides, no one else wanted to care for me!  That’s why Dean was assigned to me in the first place, remember?”

            “I’m aware, but that was when Winchester first applied to the company,” Naomi explained with a smile.  “Now, there’s an alternative, one we will, of course, transition slowly so as to not cause you any undue harm.  We’ve had a new transfer into the security staff who came with glowing recommendations.  His name is Adam Bartholomew.  You’ll love him, Angel Castiel!  He’s a skilled bodyguard, of course, with full clearance.  But he’s also been fully briefed specifically on you and your, well, special needs.  Bartholomew was provided extra training in your personal care and...”

            “Wait, he was briefed on my condition and provided with extra training on my care?”  Castiel glanced at Dean’s face, saw the thunderclouds there, and frowned.  “Dean wasn’t told anything about me until he was introduced to me, after I agreed to accept him!  Naomi, why am I not being given a choice in my own staff?!”

            Naomi looked taken aback.  “Well, of course the final decision will be yours, Angel Castiel. But you must understand, Bartholomew is highly vetted and a far better choice than Winchester would ever be even on his best day!”

            “I’ll be the judge of that.”

            “Yes, of course you will.  But Bartholomew...”

            Castiel raised a hand.  “I’ll meet him.  I won’t promise more than that.”

            Naomi’s lips pressed into a thin line.  “As you wish, of course.”  She glanced over at Dean.  Dean winked slyly at her.  She quickly looked away, returning her attention to Castiel.  “Either way, you simply must increase your productivity. Even a five percent increase would potentially mean millions in revenue.  Regardless of who you choose as your bodyguard, if you simply agree to max out your processor times in your lab, you could...”

            No warning.  The attack was perfectly executed, carried out without a hitch. One moment, Castiel was having dinner, his irritation with Naomi as his biggest concern.  The next, he was being seized by uncaring hands, fingers digging into his flesh, dragging him out of his chair.  Screams filled the air.  He heard Dean shouting, heard Naomi shriek.  Then all he heard was the harsh voice in his ear.  “Stay back!  We are desperate!  We’re taking this Angel, and we’re killing anyone who tries to stop us!”

            “Then don’t fucking miss!  Naomi, get the hell out of here and get some help!  Go!”

            Dean.  Dean had dragged a horrified Naomi out of her chair, thrown her back behind him, and shoved her towards the door.  Now he was fighting, weapon in hand, exchanging fire with what seemed like at least a dozen men.  Patrons and staff were fleeing the restaurant as bursts of phaser fire crisscrossed, blasting through tables and chairs, scoring holes in the walls and floors.  Castiel caught sight of Naomi, already on her phone, pushing her way through the crowd towards the exit.  There was no sign of the Angeli Quinque security staff that should have been outside the building in case of emergency.  What had happened?  Dean was the only one fighting.  He was being pressed hard, working his way through what cover he could find, moving closer to Castiel.

            Castiel was fighting with all his strength.  He’d already raised his defensive mechanisms and called for help over Angel radio, but he was being taken.  He’d been restrained, his arms dragged behind him and secured with handcuffs.  Two men had hold of him, dragging him towards the exit.  Castiel’s mind was echoing with the instructions Dean had given him. Don’t cooperate unless you have no choice.  Resist. Wherever they’re taking you will be worse than where you are.  Do whatever you can to keep them from taking you.  Don’t ever give up.  And wait for me.  I’m coming for you.

            He charged forward, turning his head slightly so that his titanium plate impacted with the skull of one of his attackers. There was a dull thud, and the man went down.  Feeling himself forced back towards the door, Castiel let his knees buckle, let himself fall to the ground.  There, he kicked savagely at the ankles of his attackers.  Cries of pain, a shriek as something snapped, and one of his attackers was down.  But three more ran over, grabbed Castiel, lifted him despite his best efforts and started carrying him towards the exit.  He thrashed.  “Dean! They’re stealing me!   _Dean!”_

            “Hang on!”

            A phaser shot flashed, shockingly close to Castiel’s head.  There was a howl of pain and one pair of hands released him.  By now, Dean had managed to greatly reduce the number of attackers.  But they were firing back, and now Dean was almost in the open.  Their weapons weren’t Angeli Quinque.  Cheap knock-offs, lacking the power and precision of what Dean was using.  Castiel wasn’t sure if they could pierce his Angel armoring or not.  But Dean was still in danger.

            When it happened, it almost didn’t seem real. Phaser fire, a direct shot fired perfectly between the slabs of the chair Dean was using for cover.  It hit Dean’s right arm high on his bicep, just below the shoulder.  There was no spray of blood.  From Castiel’s vantage point, it barely seemed to touch Dean.  But Dean screamed in agony.  His arm went limp, his weapon falling from it, and Dean went down.

            Castiel’s world ground to a halt.  He thrashed and fought, screaming Dean’s name, kicking, headbutting, and even biting the hands holding him.  Not enough.  He was nearly outside now, being dragged into the lobby.

            “You will not be harmed, Angel,” one of his attackers soothed.  His accent was thick.  “We have no choice!  The lives of our families are at stake!  You must help us, for our freedom, for the independence of the people of Huis!”

            “No, let go of me!  Leave me alone!  _Dean!”_   Castiel couldn’t see through his tears.  Dean, who had taught him not to be afraid.  Dean, who had given him more freedom than he’d known since he’d lost Samandriel.  Dean, who had made him feel good about himself, made him feel as if he had value beyond what he could produce in his lab.  Dean, beautiful, sweet, wonderful Dean was down.  Dean was hurt!  Was he...? No.  No, Castiel couldn’t, wouldn’t consider the worst.  He kept fighting, kept screaming for Dean.  Don’t ever give up.  And wait for me.  I’m coming for you.  Dean had said that.  Dean had promised.  He’d come for Castiel.

            And suddenly Dean was there.

            Dean’s right arm was flopping limply at his side, the area below his shoulder a charred horror of burned flesh and blackened, cracked bone.  He’d lost his weapon.  But he wasn’t stopping.  He spun, kicked one of the men carrying Castiel.  Then he turned to another, his left hand coming up.  Something silver in his hand, was it a steak knife?  It was, stabbing and slashing at the men with Castiel, forcing them to drop him and turn to face the enraged bodyguard.

            Castiel hit the ground with a thud that almost took his breath away.  Feet moving around him.  He recognized Dean’s shoes and kicked at the pair facing off with him.  There was a startled shout, and a heavy body fell on top of him.  Castiel grunted, kicked the other man off.  Something warm and wet sprayed over him.  The man twitched once and then went still.  Castiel rolled free and looked up.

            Dean had lost his knife, but he’d replaced it with a salad fork.  He shoved it into the throat of the man he was fighting and pulled savagely to the side. A shocking spray of blood. Another man dove onto Dean, causing Dean to scream as the man hit his injured arm.  But Dean never slowed.  He’d been shoved onto another table, his left hand fumbling at the top of it. Castiel’s heart sank when he saw that Dean had come up with a soup spoon.

            Then Dean stabbed the utensil viciously at his attacker, handle first towards the man’s face.  A shriek of pain, the man stumbling backwards, clutching at his eye with a spoon protruding from between his fingers.  And meanwhile, the unstoppable bodyguard was lunging at the final man.  There was a short grapple.  Dean got behind the other man, shoved him down against the back of a chair, caught his chin with his left hand, and jerked the man’s head sharply to the side. There was a wet snap, and the man fell.

            Calm descended.  Castiel blinked, looking around, seeing a dozen men lying on the floor dead, dying, or severely injured.  Outside was shouting, flashing lights and blaring alarms.  But Castiel’s world had narrowed to one man.  “Dean!”

            “Cas?”  Dean was stumbling over to him, falling to his knees.  Dean’s hand, covered with blood, was resting on Castiel’s cheek. Blood dripped from his flaccid right arm, running in rivulets to drip from his fingers, but Dean’s eyes were fixed on Castiel.  “Cas, are you alright, angel?  Look at me! Did they hurt you?”

            “No, Dean, I’m not hurt.  But you are!  Dean, your arm!”

            Dean looked down at his arm.  He got to his feet, swayed slightly, his eyes glazing. “Eh, it’s not that bad.”

            Then Dean Winchester collapsed.

            Castiel stared at him, barely hearing the shouts as police and armed Angeli Quinque security charged into the restaurant, Lucifer himself in full tactical gear at the front.  He saw nothing else but Dean, lying pale and still on the ground, growing farther away as Castiel was freed from the cuffs and lifted, Lucifer’s powerful arms cradling him to his chest.  Then he was taken out the door, he couldn’t see Dean anymore, and everything went black.

****

            _“Dean!”_ Castiel screamed.

            “Cas!  It’s alright. I’m here.  You’re safe.”  Raphael was seated next to Castiel’s bed, looking like he’d been there all night.  But of course he was.  Now he’d pulled Castiel into his arms.  “I’m sorry you had a nightmare, but I’m glad you’re finally awake.  Lucifer is beside himself, thinking this is his fault, that he somehow let you down because his security got overpowered so easily and you were nearly stolen again. He’ll be glad to know you’re awake. Everyone will!  We came so close to losing you!”

            Castiel panted and shook, clinging to Raphael, seeking the familiar support that had been the staple of his childhood before Samandriel was gone and everything had changed.  He gasped.  “Dean! Is he...?”

            “He’s alive, at the hospital.  Lie back down.”

            Castiel let himself fall back down onto his bed. “His arm,” he whispered.  “What happened to Dean?”

            “It’s bad,” Raphael said softly.  “Winchester fought hard against overwhelming odds, and suffered for it.  Along with the wound to his arm, he was also stabbed, struck, and suffered a ruptured spleen.  Blood loss, shock, the physical trauma, infection?  He’s in bad shape.  They’re working on him now and they’re optimistic that they can save his life. But his arm is...”  He shook his head.  “The damage is just too much.  It’s damaged down through the bone, severe muscle, tissue and nerve damage.  He’s going to lose it, Castiel, as soon as he’s stable enough for the surgery.”

            “He did it for me,” Castiel said dully as Raphael laid him back down.  “Raphael, Dean fought all by himself, beat twelve men, and lost his arm, to save me!”

            “He did.”  Raphael’s hand was gently rubbing circles between Castiel’s shoulder blades as Castiel lay face-down in his bed.  The Angel’s usually-gruff voice was soft, the way it used to be.  “Luc said it was a well-planned ambush.  They took out the security outside the building, got in without anyone the wiser, and went after you.  And they very nearly got away with you!  There was an intercontinental transport hovering above the roof, ready to take you once they got you outside.  If they’d gotten you out that door, it’s possible we might have never seen you again! And like I said, Luc’s been a wreck. I finally had to make him leave you, Cas, and get some rest.  He’s out on the couch sleeping.  Gabe’s been up all night, maxed out the jack, and pushed his staff into overtime.  If he can prove it was the Huis rebels, Luc has already officially proposed offering his services for their war in a special contract.  Mike and I will follow up on that.”

            “But what about Dean?” Castiel wanted to know.

            “Winchester...”  Raphael shook his head.  “I never really knew what to think of him.  I know when he joined your staff, we all had high hopes for him because of his brother, but they’re both so different!”

            “Not so different,” Castiel whispered.

            Raphael smiled.  “Apparently not!  He more than proved his worth tonight.  I’ll make sure he’s well compensated, full pension at the top of the scale, with all his medical expenses covered for the rest of his life.”

            “Is that all we can do for Dean?” Castiel asked bitterly.  “Pay his bills?”

            Raphael’s hand slowed.  “I wish we could do more, Cas.  I really do.  Gabe’s doing some research, trying to see if there’s anything out there that we could try. But so far, nothing.  It’s not going to be possible to save his arm.”

            “That was his weapons arm!”

            “I know.  He’s done as a bodyguard.”

            Castiel propped himself up on his elbows to look at Raphael.  “What about a cybernetic replacement?”

            “I’m happy to cover it, if that’s what he wants. After tonight, he’s earned the best that money can buy!  But that’s still his weapons arm.  None of the prosthetics currently on the market will give him the steadiness of aim he needs.”  Raphael sighed.  “If he gets a cybernetic, I’m sure Lucifer will let him continue to work security here at Angeli Quinque, but it won’t be what he did before.  He won’t be able to qualify for the most secure areas, only basic security.  And from what little I know of Winchester?  That’s not something he’d be satisfied with.”

            “He won’t be able to work as my bodyguard if he has a standard prosthetic,” Castiel mused.  “But what if he had a non-standard one?”

            “You mean military grade?  That would take some doing.  I’ll cover it, of course, if Mike and Luc can make it happen, but they’re going to have to pull a lot of strings!  It’s also going to take time.  That kind of prosthetic needs custom fit after he heals.”

            “Not necessarily.  There’s one that’s capable of full integration even on a fresh wound. It has full sensation, titanium alloy skeletal structure, can be molded as either a right or left arm, and utilizes the new synthflesh that can be programmed to mimic skin markings.  If I jack directly into it, I could even program his fingerprints from the security records!”

            Raphael froze.  “Cas, are you talking about the cybernetic prosthetic you designed?  That hasn’t gone into full production yet!”

            “But the prototype is in the vault.”

            “Where it needs to stay.”  Raphael’s voice was firm.  “I understand.  You’ve just been through a horrible ordeal, and you saw your bodyguard seriously injured while protecting you.  It’s easy to understand why you would think to try something desperate.  But using the prototype is out of the question!”

            “Why?  It’s my prototype!”

            “No, it’s not.  It’s the company’s.”  Raphael sighed.  He leaned forward in his chair, taking Castiel’s hand in both of his.  “I promise you, brother, I will spare no expense. I’ll get Winchester the very best of care, physical therapy, psychological treatment if he needs it afterwards, and make sure he’s comfortable for the rest of his life.  He saved you, and for that I’d bankrupt Angeli Quinque!  But there are some things even I can’t afford.”

            “Dean is worth more to me than money, Raphael!”

            “I know.”  Raphael pushed him gently back down into his bed.  He pulled up the blankets, smoothed down his hair.  “Go to sleep, little brother.  I’ll be here, and if I hear anything at all, I’ll wake you.”

            “Fine, mom,” Castiel grumbled.

            “Don’t start.  Go to sleep.”

            Raphael’s hand was rubbing his back again, lulling him to sleep.  Castiel drifted off.

            Early in the morning, Raphael, true to his word, woke Castiel to tell him that the medical nanites had finally cleared the infection and stabilized Dean.  Now he was about to head into surgery, where they would amputate his arm.

            Castiel sent a private message to Gabriel and asked for a favor.  Gabriel refused, sending Castiel a copy of Dean’s living will.

            Lucifer came in to relieve Raphael.  Castiel asked Lucifer for a favor.  Lucifer was still wracked with guilt and eager to help.  He agreed, and immediately made arrangements to have the prototype delivered to the hospital.

            Castiel excused himself to the bathroom.  He pulled out his wireless jack, jacked in, and accessed the hospital records.  Patient Winchester, Dean’s living will now agreed to the use of advanced cybernetics in the event of loss of limb.  New orders were added to his chart, sent directly to the operating room. He received confirmation.  A new surgical procedure would be performed the moment the cybernetic prosthetic arrived.

            Dean would be fine.  And if Castiel played his cards right, he would never know.

            Castiel stared into the mirror at his own face. He looked pale, drawn.  He could feel himself shaking, teetering on the edge. No.  Keep it together, Angel Castiel.  But he’d come close, so close, to losing Dean.  What if, the next time, the shot wasn’t in Dean’s arm?

            For the first time, the most difficult decision of his life didn’t seem that difficult after all.

            He exited the bathroom, moved to his bedroom. Picked up the matching set of wristbands.

            “What do you have there, Cassie?”  Lucifer, looking curiously over his shoulder.

            “Tracking devices,” Castiel explained without looking up. “I was thinking of giving one to Dean, so we can find each other.”

            Lucifer smiled and pushed a bowl of cereal into Castiel’s hands.  “You know, I think that is a fantastic idea!  Once he’s got his new arm, he’ll be good as new, and then you’ll have another layer of protection!  You know, I wasn’t sure at first if he’d work out, but I’m damned glad that I assigned Winchester as your bodyguard, Cas.  If he hadn’t been there?”  Pain flashed across Lucifer’s face.  “I’m glad you asked for that prototype.  Winchester needs to be in peak condition!  I don’t know of any other bodyguard more capable of protecting you than he is.”

            Oh, yes.  Dean had protected Castiel.  Now it was Castiel’s turn to protect Dean.  He quickly locked one of the bands around his own wrist.  Now to set the code.  Castiel frowned a moment, brightened, and entered Dean’s birthday.  The band responded with a tap on his wrist. Perfect.  Castiel turned to the other band and coded it as well.  He frowned, accessed the second band again, and quickly changed the target date.  Then he considered, changed it again, and considered some more.  He changed it a third time, got distracted when Lucifer shoved a piece of toast into his hand, ate it, and then returned to Dean’s wristband.  He frowned. One date he’d been thinking of might be too far back.  The other might not be enough.  But now he couldn’t remember which one he’d programmed Dean’s band for.  Was it the same one as his own?  Well, too late now.  Lucifer was ready to go, and he was out of time.  He’d figure it out later.

            Dean would be safe.  Castiel would make sure of it.


	16. Chapter 4 - Transfer Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel go to see Lucifer about a change in Dean's bodyguard assignment

            Castiel waited anxiously in Lucifer’s lounge while the Angel finished his call.  “Calm down,” Dean advised.

            “Calm down?!”  Castiel scowled.  “You don’t care!  You were already going to resign!”

            Dean sighed deeply.  “For the last time, it was a mistake!  I’m staying for as long as you’ll have me.  That’s why we’re here.”

            “You don’t want me,” Castiel said, trying to sound casual.  “I get that. I don’t blame you.  You never wanted me in the first place, after all. And it’s simple now.  We’re right here, in the Defense section, about to talk to Lucifer, who is head of security.  It’s the perfect chance to ask for a transfer!”

            Dean got up with a muttered curse and stormed over to Castiel’s chair.  “Cas, look at me.  I am not the kind of guy who will tell you I’m staying and then leave as soon as you turn your back!  And I told you.  I’m staying for as long as you’ll have me.”

            Don’t let your emotions show in your face. Don’t let Dean see how much that means to you.  Don’t let him suspect you might be falling in love.  Just smile, nod, and let yourself believe it.  Dean wants to stay.  And that meant Castiel fully intended to fight for him.

            Lucifer was scowling when he came in.  “These performance evaluations are a bitch and a half!” he complained.  “I’m only halfway done!  Who has time for this shit?!  Cas, where are you on yours?”

            “I finished them three days ago.”

            Lucifer made a face that reminded Castiel of the time he’d forgotten a glass of milk on a table and it had curdled.  “I hate you so much.  Why am I always the only one who ends up rushing at the last minute?!”

            “Because the rest of us get started right away, while you wait until the last minute?” Castiel suggested.

            Lucifer gave him a dirty look.

            “Angel Lucifer, thanks for meeting with us,” Dean said politely, rising to shake hands.

            “Ah, Winchester!”  Lucifer shook, still lost in his thoughts and oblivious to Dean’s wince. “Right, I got a note about you. You’re here to request a transfer? Dammit, that sucks!  You were good for Cassie!”

            “Um, the reason we’re here isn’t to request a transfer,” Dean corrected.  “I want to keep working with Cas.”

            Lucifer brightened.  “What?  You do? Great!  That’s great, Winchester!  It’s such a relief to hear that!  Any bodyguard could take care of him, naturally, but he doesn’t do well with changes in his personnel.  You’re one of my few gold pin veterans, and your brother was probably the best damned bodyguard this company has ever hired!  I’m really glad you want to stay with Cas!”

            “Then why is he being reassigned?” Castiel asked.

            Lucifer blinked.  “Reassigned?  Who’s reassigning him?”

            “You are!  Show him, Dean!”

            Dean held his hand over the terminal in the lounge, letting it access his ID and bring up his personal account.  Then he brought up the reassignment order.  “I got this this morning,” he explained. “I’m being reassigned, which means Cas is getting a new bodyguard.  And I’d like to know why?”

            Lucifer was frowning at the order.  “I didn’t authorize this,” he announced.  “It’s coming through my section, but it didn’t originate there.  I don’t want you reassigned!  You’ve been good for Cassie!  This bears some investigation.”  He held his own hand over the terminal.  “Gabe? You got a moment?”

            The holographic image of a golden cartoon angel appeared.  “Whassup, buttercup?”

            “I need you to trace a transfer order for Winchester.  Someone’s transferring him off of Cassie, and I want to know who.”

            “What?!  Yeah, no problem, I want to know who’s trying to pull that shit, especially if you don’t know about it!  Ok, let me take a look.”  The cartoon hovered over the orders.  “The seals and passcodes are right, so it definitely came from within.  Not your access, though.  Let’s see.  Huh? Naomi?!  What the hell is she doing ordering a personnel transfer?!”

            “I’m about to find out.  Do me a favor and have her get her ass on the wire?” Lucifer was frowning.

            “Can do, and if you don’t mind, I’m going to listen in, and I’m grabbing Mikey.”

            “Grab Raph, too.  I know for a fact he just authorized Cassie’s sign-on bonus for Winchester along with a raise, so he’s going to want to know why this went through.”

            “On it!”

            “Thank you,” Castiel said humbly.

            “No problem.  You’re doing well with Winchester, Cas, and I’ll know why before that gets messed up!  Sit down. Winchester, why don’t you take a seat back there?  Since this directly concerns you, you can listen in.”

            “Thank you, sir.”

            “Sure!”

            A moment later, the golden cartoon angel was joined by a white and a silver version.  Then Naomi’s smiling face appeared.  “Ah, all of my Angels, hello!  Did you need something, Angel Lucifer?”

            “Yes.  I’ve been made aware of a personnel transfer, taking Dean Winchester off as Cassie’s bodyguard.  This was authorized without my knowledge or consent.  Did you do this, Naomi?”

            “I did.  And it’s really very simple.  Winchester was never assigned on a permanent basis.  When he originally came to the Heaven complex, his assignment was to Angel Gabriel.  But with Angel Castiel’s bodyguard suddenly resigning her position, and Winchester’s subsequent approval by Angel Castiel, Winchester’s assignment was changed.  Now it is simply being changed back.  This isn’t reassignment so much as it is a correction.  I’ve found a more qualified applicant to care for Angel Castiel and a replacement is being made.”

            “Not without Luc and Cas approving it, it’s not!” Michael’s voice sounded sharp. “Naomi, you should have notified them before you sent out those orders!”

            “You absolutely should have notified me,” Lucifer called.  “Because I would have stopped it right there!  While Winchester’s dual role as Cassie’s bodyguard and caretaker does technically place him at least partially under your jurisdiction?  I don’t appreciate you making this kind of move without consulting me!”

            “Forgive me, Angel Lucifer,” Naomi said humbly.  “I assumed you would be busy with your performance evaluations and corrected what was really a simple paperwork issue.”

            “Why is this even an issue, Naomi?  Once Winchester’s probationary period was over, I assumed his post was permanent!”

            “As did I,” Raphael added.  “I’d already authorized Winchester’s meeting the terms for the sign-on bonus and finalized his new salary, but that’s not even the point here!  Naomi, you know that Cas doesn’t respond well to sudden, unexpected changes in his personnel!”

            “Angels, with respect, I’m afraid I don’t see the problem,” Naomi said smoothly.  “If you’ll be so kind as to take a look at Winchester’s contract, you’ll see it was never changed to a permanent assignment.”

            “Yeah, I’m a little behind,” Lucifer admitted. “But I still don’t see why you changed it!”

            “I actually didn’t change anything.  His position with Angel Castiel was through an addendum added as an emergency measure, for a probationary period of three months.  That time has now passed.  In the meantime, my handlers and I have continued to search for a more appropriate bodyguard for Angel Castiel.  Now I’ve found one.  Adam Bartholomew.”

            Dean straightened.  “Adam Bartholomew?!  That son of a bitch should not be caring for Cas!”

            Naomi looked irritated.  “Angel Lucifer, is someone there with you?”

            “Yeah, Cas is here with Winchester now, which is why we found out about this.”

            She rolled her eyes.  “Winchester, need I remind you that this is a meeting of high-level Angeli Quinque executive staff only?”

            “I want him here,” Castiel insisted.

            “And I invited him,” Lucifer added.  “The meeting’s about him.”

            “Fine, so long as he understands that his comments are neither requested nor welcome!”

            Dean’s cheeks darkened in anger, and his jaw set. But he went quiet.  Naomi was right, of course.  As Castiel’s bodyguard, while Dean was occasionally present for meetings of high-level staff, his contract stated that he was there only in his capacity as bodyguard and was required to keep quiet and maintain confidentiality.

            “At least it illustrates a point,” Naomi pressed. “This is only one example of the many, many performance issues that Dean Winchester has, not just here, but all through his record, that illustrate he’s not the appropriate bodyguard for Angel Castiel!”

            “Then why was he assigned to me in the first place?” Castiel asked.  “Dean’s a wonderful bodyguard, the best I’ve ever had!”

            Naomi paused for a moment.  “Angel Castiel, with the abrupt resignation of your previous bodyguard following the incident with the fire and your hairbrush?  We needed an immediate replacement.  Winchester was, unfortunately, the only option we had. He was the only unattached security staff with high-level training and access mods sufficient for the job.”

            “Ok, I’m looking at Winchester’s files now,” Gabriel’s voice called.  “And what I’m seeing makes him way more than sufficient.  Drafted at eighteen, brought into special forces, black ops counter-terrorism.  Decorated, high honors.  Went into the personal protection business after the military.  He’s got multiple glowing reviews, recommendations, what’s the problem?”

            She cleared her throat.  “The problem is that he also has a known reputation for requesting frequent transfers, insubordination, disobedience...”

            “Injured twice in the line of duty protecting his charge!  Those two can’t say enough about him!”

            “He’s also been reprimanded on multiple occasions for his tendency to speak disrespectfully to his betters.  That trait, at least, seems to still be very much present!”

            “Alright enough!”  Michael’s voice was sharp.  “It seems to me that Winchester’s fine where he’s at, and the simple fact he’s willing to stay is something I think we are all extremely grateful for.  But this is Cas’s bodyguard.  And I’m looking at him right now on the cameras, and he’s sitting there rocking with his arms crossed over his chest again!  This isn’t productive, Naomi.  Castiel does not do well with sudden changes in his personnel! You want him to go under again?!”

            She stilled.  “No, of course not, Angel Michael.  Angel Castiel, I humbly apologize.  There was a better way to do this personnel transfer.”

            “I’m not convinced a transfer needs to be made,” Gabriel called.

            “Me either,” Raphael agreed.  “If anything I think that’s the worst thing we can do!  Luc?”

            “I’ve pulled up Bartholomew’s records, and honestly, they look as good as Winchester’s for background,” Lucifer reported. “They even served in the same unit, which explains why they know each other!  Difference is that Bartholomew’s got a spotless record, where Winchester’s is, well, spotty.  If the two were applying for the job, Bartholomew would get it in a heartbeat over Winchester.  But this is Cas, it’s his bodyguard, and it needs to be his decision.”

            “I agree.  Naomi?”

            “Yes, Angel Michael?”

            “Take Cas out, someplace neutral.  Someplace public.  Sit down with him like a couple of adults and discuss what you want to do and why so he’s not so damned intimidated!  But remember your place, Naomi!”  Michael’s voice had grown stern.  “You may be the Lead Handler for the five of us, and the spokesperson for the company, but we are the ones who make the final decisions!  You came perilously close to insubordination here, trying to bypass Luc to change Cas’s bodyguard, and look at the result!  I’m this close to giving you an official reprimand!”

            She flinched.  “Forgive me.  Angel Lucifer, I know you’ve been watching the events in Huis, and how behind you are on your personnel evaluations.  I knew Winchester’s parole was ending and I took it on myself to do what I thought was right.  Angel Castiel, I apologize to you as well.  Will you join me Friday at the Niagara, say, eighteen hundred hours?  Angel Lucifer, will that provide adequate time to arrange security?”

            Lucifer smiled.  “Sure will!  And it sounds like a good choice all around.”

            “I’m happy to set it up,” Gabriel called.

            “Then it’s settled,” Michael declared.  “Thanks everyone, have a good day!”

            That was that.  Castiel was shaking as he said goodbye to Lucifer and let Dean take him back to his section.  “I don’t want you to go, Dean,” he managed.

            “I’m not going anywhere unless you send me away.” Dean’s hand was warm on Castiel’s arm. “Here’s what’s going to happen. We’ll go to this fancy-ass restaurant, and I’ll sit there and listen to the two of you discuss me without saying anything because that’s what my contract says I do, and I can’t give her any more reasons to can my ass.  And she’ll tell you all about how great Bartholomew is.  Thing is, he probably will make a decent bodyguard for you, buddy. So far as his qualifications go, he’s pretty awesome.  I just have a history with the son of a bitch and can’t stand him.  He’s a self-centered, power hungry bastard, and I think making him responsible for you would be a big, big mistake!”

            “Why?”

            “That’s really not my place to say,” Dean said evasively.  “This is your decision to make, buddy.  But it’s like I said.  I’m not going anywhere unless you send me away.  So be civil, be polite, listen to what she has to say and make the decision that’s best for you.  And I’ll do my job.”

            “The one you were trying to leave.”

            Dean pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Cas...”

            “I understand, alright?  I’m a lot of work that you never signed up for.  You have to chase after me constantly, keep me cleaned up, make sure I eat and drink and rest and get exercise...”

            “Don’t care.  Cas, our dad did personal security work all over the world, dragged Sammy and I along after him after our mom died.  He was busy working, so who do you think raised Sammy?”  Dean smiled, and Castiel’s heart skipped a beat.  “I was surprised when I was suddenly assigned to you. I was disappointed because I’d come for Gabe.  But I’m glad to get to know you, alright?  You’re a great guy, and I’m happy to care for you.”

****

            Castiel had another nightmare that night, one that caused him to wake up with a cry.  Shaking, he looked around, assuring himself that yes, he was still in his bed, that it was night, that the unnamed unseen horrors from his dream weren’t real. Whimpering, he gathered his pillow and buried his face in it, letting it soak up his tears.  His body shuddered again.

            “Hey, Cas?  I heard you cry out, you alright, buddy?”

            Castiel raised his head, saw Dean in the faint light, standing in doorway of his bedroom.  Had Dean heard him from his quarters?  Didn’t matter.  The bright green eyes were looking at him now, seeing Castiel’s shame, the tears on his cheeks that he tried once more to bury into his pillow.

            Footsteps.  Dean was coming closer, moving into the darkness.  The bed shifted slightly as he sat on the edge of it.  Then a warm hand was rubbing circles into Castiel’s back. Dean had amazing instincts.  He seemed to know exactly what worked best to help him relax.  “Hey,” Dean called softly.  “It’s alright.  You just had another nightmare.”

            “Another?”

            “Yeah, I know you’ve had ‘em before,” Dean admitted. “You seem pretty prone to them, actually.  I never know what I should do when you have ‘em, but you’ve been crying in here for a while now.  I finally got up, came to make sure you were alright just before you woke up.  Sorry.  It’s creepy as hell, watching someone sleep.  But I was worried about you.  If you want me to leave, I will?”

            “Don’t leave.”

            “Alright.”

            Dean’s hand continued its ministrations. Castiel gradually relaxed, sinking down into his bed even as his heart pounded.  Dean was here, in his room, at night.  The thoughts going through Castiel’s head now had little to do with his nightmares and far more to do with the simple fact of his beautiful bodyguard’s proximity.  “I’m sorry I woke you,” he mumbled.

            “You didn’t wake me.  I was actually already up, going over that information Gabriel sent me on my brother.  I think I’m finally close to figuring out who it was that sent Sammy on that mission. But it’s a mess, all coded and with bits and pieces missing!  Thank God Gabe’s helping me, or I don’t think I’d be able to get through it in a million years.”

            Castiel smiled.  “If anyone can get through it, he can!”

            “I know, and I’m grateful.  Oh!  You got a package today,” Dean said suddenly.  “I forgot to tell you when everything else happened.  It’s from one of your labs in Ohio.”

            “Ohio?  Oh! Thank you.”  The interface wristbands.  They were here.  That meant his decision was finally upon him.  Once more, his body was trembling.  Only one.  He could only save one person.  How could he possibly choose among his fellow Angels?  Their faces passed before his mind’s eye, weighing the pros and cons of each one.  Whoever he sent would be required to perform a monumental task.  Which one of them was capable of it?

            Then Dean’s hand started moving again, and Castiel suddenly realized that maybe, just maybe, an Angel wasn’t his only choice.

            That was crazy.  Castiel was self-aware enough to realize that he was falling in love with Dean, that losing his bodyguard now would tear him apart almost as much as losing one of his brothers.  But Project Samandriel would place so much responsibility on whoever was given the primary wristband!  What could a mere bodyguard do?  How could he possibly justify saving Dean, putting that responsibility onto the beautiful man who haunted his dreams, and expect him to do the work of an Angel?


	17. Chapter 3 - Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing that Castiel has never had a holiday, Dean is determined to make up for the oversight.

            “Merry Christmas, buddy!”

            Castiel blinked, looking at his bodyguard.  Dean was waiting to ambush him just outside the door of his lab.  He’d just received confirmation that his new Chimera prototype had arrived in the vault and had duplicated the production numbers.  Then he’d used the numbers to send the final design plans for his Project Samandriel interface bands to his Ohio lab for prototyping.  Now anyone who looked closely would see duplicate numbers and assume it was a data entry error.  But how annoying that he’d maxed out his jack now.  His mind had been filled with thoughts of the project, trying once more to decide which of his fellow Angels he would choose.  But now a colorful, beribboned bag was in his face, dangling from Dean’s hand.  A tag labeled “To Castiel, from Dean” hung from the handle of the bag.  Castiel cocked his head and squinted at his bodyguard, confused.  “Um, Merry Christmas to you as well, Dean.  Did you need something?”

            The bag shook in front of Castiel’s face.  “I got you a Christmas present!”

            “What’s a Christmas present?”

            Dean stared at him.  Then he sighed and lowered the bag.  “Ok, buddy, let’s get you out of the lab, out of your uniform, and then we’ll talk.”

            Castiel allowed himself to be taken back to his living quarters.  Dean put his bag on the table and pushed Castiel towards the shower.  He set out towels and clothes for the Angel and instructed him to get cleaned up and changed.  Then he immediately went out and pulled out his phone.

            Castiel obediently showered, changed into the clothes Dean had set out for him, then headed out.  Dean pushed him back into the bathroom, insisting he shave and comb his hair. Alright.  Castiel pulled a comb through his dark locks and put his electric razor to use, absently listening as Dean got something out of the dumbwaiter from downstairs.  The smell of food was wafting into the bathroom.  Castiel inspected his smooth face.  The razor did an adequate job.  He stared at it, distracted.  It had a small motor capable of maintaining fairly constant speed.  That could be useful.  Castiel started taking the device apart.

            “No! No, no no!  Bad Angel!  No taking apart electric razors on my watch!”

            Dean snatched the razor from Castiel’s hand and quickly reassembled it. “You’re lucky I know your tricks, Cas. I heard you took three of these apart already on your last bodyguard’s watch!  I shudder to think of what you’ll do if I go on a vacation or something.”

            “You could take me with you?”

            Dean blinked.  Then he laughed.  “I think you’re missing the point of a vacation, buddy, but that’s ok.  You’ve obviously missed the point of Christmas, so not too surprising.”  Dean was looking around.  He stepped out, got into Castiel’s closet, and returned with one of his ties. Castiel immediately raised his chin.

            “Nuh uh!”

            Dean moved behind Castiel and, to Castiel’s surprise, pulled the cloth of the tie over his eyes, tying it behind his head.  “Dean?  I can’t see like this!”

            “Yes, Cas, it’s called a ‘blindfold.’  The point of it is that you can’t see.”

            Castiel frowned.  “I don’t like it.  Take it off of me!”

            “Hey, hey, this is for fun!  No one’s going to hurt you.  I just want you to be surprised when you go out there, ok?  Here.”  Dean had moved to stand in front of Castiel.  Now he took both of the Angel’s hands.  “Just trust me, Cas.  Walk forward, alright?”

            Every safety protocol indicated that this was a bad idea.  Castiel couldn’t see and had to trust Dean to not let him trip, fall, or run into something?  His heart pounded.  But then Dean’s hands tightened on his.  Castiel got a good grip, took a deep breath, and stepped forward.

            He walked, in complete darkness.  And he didn’t trip.  He didn’t stumble.  He passed through the doorway he knew was there, walked past furniture he remembered but couldn’t place, and not once did he run into anything.  Trust.  Perfect trust in Dean.  It felt amazing.  He clung to Dean’s hands, allowing himself to be guided through the darkness, and smiled.

            Dean’s happy laughter rang out.  “Smells great, doesn’t it?  Ok, time for the big reveal!”

            The tie blindfold was suddenly pulled up and off of his head, and sight returned.  Castiel blinked owlishly.  The lights in the room had been dimmed.  He saw Dean, looking beyond handsome, smiling and slightly flushed in excitement, practically dancing as he watched Castiel’s reaction.  Then he saw the table.

            Dean had called up service for two including burning candles and wine glasses. Dean’s phone was on the table, playing soft Christmas music.  The table was loaded down with food.  Roast turkey breast, bread stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn bread, carrots, cranberry sauce and two slices of apple pie with whipped cream.  A bottle waited in a bucket of ice.  In the center of the table was a glass angel.  A light inside of it cast a quiet glow over the table.

            “Merry Christmas, angel,” Dean called, his voice soft.

            “Christmas?”  Castiel raised an eyebrow, his gaze on the glass angel.  “I am familiar with the story behind the season.”  He looked at Dean, and tilted his head to the side.  “But when you called me ‘angel’ just now?  It seemed different.  You weren’t referring to my title, were you?”

            Dean was staring hard at him for some reason.  His tongue flicked out, licked at his lips.  “It’s just, the way you were standing there, with that light behind you?  It looked like a halo, like you really were an angel, you know, like...?”  He indicated the glass angel on the table.  “I’m sorry.  If it bothers you, I won’t call you that anymore.”

            “It doesn’t bother me.  I like it.” He did like it.  For some reason, the way Dean said it made the old familiar title mean something brand new.  He smiled at Dean.

            Dean smiled back.  His face in the dim light nearly took Castiel’s breath away.  Dean’s lips parted, the green eyes staring at Castiel with something like hunger.  Then he cleared his throat and ducked his head, moving around Castiel to pull out one of the chairs.  “Have a seat.”

            Castiel sat down, let Dean slide his chair in.  Then Dean took on the posture of a waiter.  “For ze dining pleazure, ve has zis scrumptious meal!” he declared in a bad accent.  “Would monsieur care for ze champagne?’

            “Oui,” Castiel called, holding up his glass.  “Merci pour votre service.”

            Dean snorted.  “Dude, I don’t speak that parley-voo stuff.  You want some bubbly?”

            “Yes, please.”

            Dean poured.  Then he began to serve the two of them.  His expression grew soft.  “Did you know Sammy?”

            “Yes, actually.  He was primarily the bodyguard for Gabriel, back when Gabriel was upgrading the coms towers and had to do all those site visits.  But sometimes he protected me, when I had to go out for something.  I liked him.  He was kind, like you.”

            “That’s my Sammy.  We lost our mom when he was just a baby, house fire.  And dad wasn’t around, so I pretty much raised us both.  That kid, he never should have gotten into this life.”

            “Why not?  He was a wonderful bodyguard!”

            “Because Sammy was smart!  He could have been a doctor, or maybe a lawyer!  Me, I’m hired muscle just like my dad, but Sammy?”  Dean shook his head.  “Sammy should have been more.  And I had enough, dammit!  I busted my ass, saved enough to buy him out if his number came up on the draft.  But when it did, he just wouldn’t take the money. Too damned proud.”

            “Ah,” Castiel said, understanding.  “You didn’t want him to be in the military.”

            “No.”  Dean stared into his glass.  “He never should have had this life.  It’s pretty much all I’m good for, but Sammy should have been more.”

            “I saw you, at his funeral,” Castiel recalled.  “I remember you, all dressed up in your military uniform, standing at his casket, looking down at him.  You looked so lost.”  And so beautiful, the lonely, heartbroken soldier with the empty eyes, staring down at the body of his dead brother.  Gabriel had been inconsolable, sobbing so hard he nearly collapsed right at the casket. Samandriel had his work cut out for him after that.  But Dean Winchester, the lonely soldier, hadn’t shed a single tear.

            “I was.”  Dean ladled gravy, his eyes distant.  “Losing Sammy?  That tore the heart out of me, Cas.  I went home after his funeral and tried real hard to drink away the memory of his face. And there was a moment when I held my weapon and gave serious thought to putting it in my mouth, joining my brother. But I couldn’t get his face out of my head.  The last time we’d seen each other face to face, we’d had a huge fight.  We made up later over the phone, I mean, he’s my brother so I’d probably forgive him anything eventually.  But the last words I’d said to him face to face were in anger. And when I saw his face in my mind then? I saw him angry.  Disappointed in me, that I’d given up.”

            Castiel’s heart went out to the beautiful man.  Dean had stopped, staring down at the laden plates, lost in his memories. “I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel ventured.

            Dean seemed to startle.  He gave a nervous chuckle and put one of the plates in front of Castiel.  “Sorry.  Not the best conversation to have on Christmas.  But I was going somewhere with this.  Sammy and I, we mostly had each other.  So it was up to me to make sure to remember things like Christmas. I’d save and scrounge and go without for months to buy him a decent present, put together a meal like this. Well, not like this,” he corrected. “Most of what we ate came out of a can, but I did my best.  Because Sammy deserved Christmas.”

            “That’s kind of you,” Castiel offered, touched.

            The green eyes locked with his.  “You deserve Christmas too, Cas.  This damned company, they’ve got the downstairs all decorated and Christmas music playing over the intercom for the random Joes who come in off the street.  But this is your home, and no one thought to do shit for you!  Hell, I didn’t even think to do shit for you, and that’s unacceptable.  You didn’t even take a day off of work, but you never do, do you?  Your work is your whole life.”

            Castiel shrugged, feeling uneasy.  “That’s what I’m built for, Dean.”

            “Not tonight.”  Dean sat down at his own plate.  “Tonight, you’re going to have Christmas.”

            “Alright.”  Castiel mimicked Dean’s pose.  “How do we Christmas?”

            Dean snorted.  “Well first, we’re going to stuff our faces with food, because this is some good, awesome shit right here.  And then, even though you really shouldn’t exercise so soon after eating, we’re going out. I already called for the security perimeter to be set up.”

            “Alright.”

            And now Dean gave him a beautiful smile.  “You’re not anxious about going out anymore!”

            “No. It’s like you said, Dean.  I don’t have to hide what I am because it doesn’t matter if douchebags stare at me.”

            “You got it!”  Dean was beaming proudly at him.  “You have come so far, angel.  And that’s awesome!  You’re awesome!”

            Why did that affect him so much?  Every time he made Dean proud, his heart would pound and he’d feel warm, but he’d feel so incredibly good?  It was like going on the jack.  It was better than going on the jack.  He wanted Dean to be proud of him.

            They finished their meal.  Dean sent him to brush his teeth while he loaded their dirty dishes into the dumbwaiter. Castiel managed it without too much difficulty.  Then Dean was bundling him into his heavy winter coat, boots, gloves, scarf, and hat. And a moment later, they were out the door.

            Castiel immediately started off, but to his surprise, Dean stopped him. “We’re going to do something a little different this walk,” Dean announced.  He cocked an arm.  “I want you to take my arm, ok?”

            “Alright.”  Castiel slipped his hand into the crook of Dean’s elbow.

            To his surprise, Dean led him a short distance from the Heaven building, stopped, and turned around.  “Take a look.”

            There, on the side of the Heaven building, an angel made of glistening, multicolored lights soared.  Castiel’s eyes immediately were drawn to the violet lights.  “It’s beautiful.”

            “Yeah.  And the whole world can see it but you.  I wanted you to see it.”

            “Thank you.”  His eyes were still moving, noting the violet lights sparkling among the white, red, gold, silver, and blue.  His heart ached.

            Apparently, it showed in his face.  “What’s wrong?” Dean was asking.

            “I lost a brother, too.  This angel, it must have been ordered before he died.  See the purple lights?”

            “Ah.”  Dean’s hand covered Castiel’s on his arm.  “How long has he been gone?”

            “A year, the end of January.”  Castiel smiled, looking up at the angel.  “It is beautiful.”

            “Yes, it is.”  Dean smiled at him.  Then he started walking again.

            Normally, Castiel let himself get lost in his thoughts on his walks, letting his mind decompress from a hard day’s work while Dean gently guided him. But today, Dean kept drawing him back, bringing his attention to the Christmas decorations.

            “There’s a big Christmas tree in that window.”

            “Look, Cas, there’s an angel on that lamp post!”

            “Check it out, it’s Santa Claus!”

            “See the bells?”

            “Look, another angel!”

            All up and down the street, the signs of the season were on display. Castiel looked around in wide-eyed wonder.  “Is this like this every year?”

            “Yes!  You’ve never seen it before have you?  Even though I walk you out here damned near every day, this is the first time you’ve ever really seen it!”

            Castiel nodded mutely.  They walked beneath an archway decorated with greenery, lights, and silver bells. Castiel stopped, staring up from beneath the arch, and pointed.  “What’s that, Dean?”

            “That?  Um, that’s a mistletoe, Cas.”  Dean must be cold.  His cheeks were very red as he looked up at the mistletoe.  “They hang that there for lovers.  It’s traditional for lovers, when they’re under the mistletoe, to kiss.”

            “Have you kissed a lover under the mistletoe?”

            For some reason, Dean wouldn’t look directly at Castiel.  He nodded.  “Yeah, I’ve kissed a few over the years.”

            “What’s it like?”

            “Uh, having a lover, or kissing?”

            “Either.  Both. I’ve never had either one.”

            And now Dean looked at him.  “You’ve never even been kissed?!”

            Castiel shook his head.  “What’s it like?”

            “Um, well...  You just kind of put your lips together, and, um...”

            “I’m aware of the mechanics, Dean,” Castiel said patiently.  “Gabriel has an extensive collection of porn, and has shared far more with me than I ever wished to see.  But what is it like?”

            The redness in Dean’s cheeks was brighter now.  “That’s kind of hard to explain, buddy.  You just have to experience it.”

            “Can I?”

            “Can you what?”

            “Experience it?”

            Dean seemed to freeze.  “Y-you want me to kiss you under the mistletoe?”

            “Yes, very much!”  He frowned. “Unless that’s against tradition?”

            Dean suddenly seemed at a loss.  His mouth opened and closed, resembling a fish.

            Castiel leaned closer hopefully.  For some reason, he very very much wanted Dean to kiss him.  And for a moment, when Dean finally leaned closer as well, he excitedly believed it would happen.

            Then lights started flashing.  A large group of people had just gotten off of a bus, spotted Castiel, and had immediately come over, the flashes on their cameras rapidly firing as they snapped pictures.

            “What the hell?!  Dammit, your eyes, you’re near capacity!  They must have seen you from the street and made the bus stop!  I’m an idiot for not putting sunglasses on you!” Dean snarled, pushing Castiel back behind himself, and grabbed his own phone, quickly dialing up security.  “What the fuck are you lazy bastards doing?! Who let a fucking tour bus through here?!  We need an extraction, right now!”

            Castiel flinched.  He’d never seen his bodyguard quite so upset.  The cameras and excited people that now swarmed around Castiel now no longer bothered him.  But Dean was furious.  He threw an arm protectively around Castiel and actually swung at the crowd, driving the people back.  Then he was moving, pulling Castiel away as the Angeli Quinque security team descended, forming a protective circle around the two of them.

            Dean was livid.  His arm was still around Castiel, rushing him along.  “Son of a bitch!  Why are there even tour buses out on Christmas anyway?!”

            “It was a scheduling change,” one of the flustered security guards explained. “The tours were supposed to end at noon, but one of them broke down, they had to bring another bus in, and this one ran late.  That’s how this happened.”

            “Dammit!  I hope you assholes are happy, because Lucifer is going to have your heads!”

            “Dean?”  Castiel’s voice was quiet.  “Does this mean our walk is over?”

            Dean took one look at Castiel, and immediately his anger faded.  “Yeah, I’m afraid so.  That many unchecked people swarming at you means I gotta get you off the street.  You ok?”

            “I’m fine.  I wasn’t worried.  You were right there.”  Trust. Now that he’d done it once, it was easy. Trusting Dean now was as natural as breathing.

            The arm around him tightened, almost became a hug.  And just like that, Dean was smiling again.

            The multicolored angel glowed and twinkled softly on the side of the Heaven building as they came back.  “I like Christmas,” Castiel announced.

            “I’m glad, buddy,” Dean chuckled.

            Dean, Castiel was glad to see, didn’t stop to report the security breach after all.  He took Castiel back to his section instead, got him out of his winter gear, and led him back into the lounge.  There, Dean once again presented his bag.  “Here.  The second best part of Christmas, the first, of course, being food, is giving gifts. A Christmas present, Cas, is something that you give to someone else, just a little token of appreciation that lets them know you care about them.”

            Castiel accepted the bag, awed.  “So, this means you care about me?”

            “Yeah, buddy.  It does.”

            Castiel clutched the bag to his chest, overwhelmed.  “Thank you!”

            Dean laughed.  “You’re supposed to look in the bag, Cas.  The gift I got you is inside of it.”

            Castiel looked.  Inside the bag were several bottles and a box.

            “Bath products,” Dean said proudly.  “Soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and aftershave, all with the same scent.  It’s called ‘Heaven.’  Smells great, and it suits you!”

            “This is for me?  Because you care about me?”  When Dean nodded, Castiel’s face fell.  “I don’t have a gift for you!  How do I let you know that I care about you on Christmas?”

            “You already did.  You got mobbed today, and you didn’t panic.  You trusted me, Cas.  That’s the best gift you could have given me.”

            Castiel thought his heart would overflow.  He swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump that had suddenly risen in his throat.  “I should put these in my bathroom,” he called shyly.

            “Feel free.”

            Castiel fled.  He put out his new bath products, replacing his old ones and hiding them behind the toilet. Good enough for now.  Then he headed out.  The blank walls of his living quarters seemed confining.  He had no windows, no way to be able to look out and see the beautiful decorations on the streets below.  That seemed wrong.  He understood the need for his security, the risk presented by flying vehicles, but surely he could have at least one reinforced window?  That was something to ask Lucifer about.  He should send an e-mail, make it a formal request.  Then Lucifer would have to at least address it.

            His mind made up, Castiel hurried to the computer terminal, waved a hand over it, and activated it.  It immediately sprang to life, displaying a document.  Oh.  Dean must have been working on something and forgotten to log off.  Castiel glanced at the document.  Then he looked hard, sat down, and read it the whole way through twice.

            He heard a gasp from behind him.  “Oh!  Shit, I thought I’d deleted that.”

            “You want to leave me.”  Castiel’s voice was flat.  “This is a letter of resignation from your current post.  You want to be reassigned away from me.  You don’t want to take care of me anymore.”

            Dean dropped to his knees next to Castiel’s chair, turning him away from the monitor.  “I did,” he admitted.  “But I changed my mind.  I want to stay.”

            “No you don’t.  You gave me a Christmas present, but you don’t mean it.  You want to leave, just like all the rest!”  Castiel’s words were as bitter as his heart.

            Dean didn’t reply.  He reached over and deleted the letter.  “I didn’t send it, because I realized I don’t want to leave.  And I gave you that Christmas present because I care about you. That’s why I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here, with you.”

            “Do you?”  Castiel wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.  “No one ever wants to stay with me.  Look at what you have to do!  You’re a trained bodyguard, but I’m like a baby, and you have to play nursemaid to me!”

            Dean reached out and took his hands.  “I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this, alright?  You’re awesome, buddy.  And I’m staying for as long as you’ll have me.”

            There was a chime from the monitor.  Annoyed, Dean looked over, saw a new e-mail.  “Huh?  What’s Lucifer doing e-mailing me on Christmas?”

            “You’re probably going to have to do a report about that busload of tourists.” Castiel was still upset.

            Dean sighed and irritably opened the e-mail.  “If he’s expecting me to come down there on Christmas and file a report on those guards, he’s out of his mind.  I’m not about to...”  His voice trailed off.

            Castiel looked, his heart sinking at the words “Transfer Order” printed at the top of the form.

            Apparently, Dean wasn’t going to be his bodyguard after all.


	18. Chapter 2 - Probation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is sure his unbelievably aggravating new bodyguard will never pass probation!

            “Ok, Cas, we’re going to go outside for a walk today.”

            “No!”

            “Yes.  Come here and let me get you in your coat.”

            “Dean Winchester, you are the worst bodyguard I have ever had!” Castiel snapped. “You’re never going to pass your probation because you never listen to me!  I told you no!”

            “And I told you to come here and let me get you in your coat.  You can’t go out without it.”

            “You half-wit imbicile!  I said I don’t want to go out!  I... Hey!  How dare you?!  Take your hands off of me!”

            “Nice to see you talking again.  Now hold still.”

            Castiel sputtered indignantly.  “Lucifer will hear about this!”

            “Make sure you spell my name right when you write the report.  Now let me get the rest of your gear on, and you can tell me the real reason you don’t want to go out.”

            “Because people will stare at me!” Castiel blurted.  “My plate is bad enough, but I just got off the jack!  My eyes, my skin...!”

            “Is that why you’ve refused to go on walks all this time?  Because you’re worried about people staring at you?”  When Castiel nodded, Winchester groaned.  He pushed Castiel down into a chair and readied a boot.  “Let me explain something to you,” he began as he pulled the first boot onto Castiel’s foot.  “Do you know why people stare at you?”

            “Because I’m an Angel,” Castiel mumbled.

            Winchester’s head nodded.  “That’s right.  And Angels, Cas, are beautiful, incredibly special beings, put on this Earth to help the poor half-wit imbiciles like me while we’re stuck down here in the muck. That’s why people turn and look when they see one.  It’s like a blessing from God!”

            Castiel frowned, absently letting Winchester pull on his other boot.  “Are you sure?  Because a lot of those people who stop and stare at me don’t really seem like they’re feeling blessed, Winchester.”

            “Well, there’s two types of people, Cas.”  Winchester was up, pulling a glove onto Castiel’s hand now.  “The first type is smart enough to know a blessing when we see it.  We’ll stop, we’ll point, we’ll smile and we’ll get starry-eyed because yeah, that’s a blessing!”

            “What are the other type?”

            “Douchebags.”

            Castiel raised an eyebrow.  “Douchebags? I don’t understand.  What’s a douchebag?”

            “A douchebag is someone too stupid to recognize when they’re looking at a blessing,” Winchester explained, pulling on Castiel’s other glove.  “Douchebags live their lives with their heads up their own asses, self-absorbed and self-important because their moms never taught them any manners.  A douchebag, Cas, is someone who would most benefit the world if they found a deserted island somewhere and stayed there, telling themselves all day and night that they’re important and anyone should give two shits about their opinion.  I can think of a few douchebags I’ve met in my time, and they pretty much all seriously need a good swift kick in the pants.”

            Castiel considered this.  “That sounds a little like Naomi.”

            Winchester had been in the process of wrapping a scarf around Castiel’s neck, but he froze at that.  “Dude, you don’t say shit like that about your mom!”

            “Naomi isn’t my mother.  She’s married to my father, but she didn’t have any real part in raising me, to be honest. Dad did mostly that on his own, him and Raphael.”

            Winchester looked surprised.  “Raphael?”

            “Yeah.  Raphael, we still sometimes pick on him and call him ‘mom’ because he’s the one who used to really take care of us when Samandriel and I were babies.  He changed our diapers, fed us, rocked us to sleep at night.  If I have a mom, it’s him.”

            “Well he’s certainly changed,” Winchester grumbled.  “Nice to know he at least had a heart once upon a time."

            Castiel didn’t respond.  He knew Winchester was wrong about Raphael, but Winchester sounded so sure of himself that he didn’t know how to correct him.  “Naomi was a lot younger than dad when he married her,” he said instead.  “She’s the daughter of one of dad’s initial investors, dual doctorate in medicine and engineering.  She founded the handlers, really helped dad when he was first starting the company and we became known.  He really did love her.”

            “And now she runs the company?”

            “Oh no, she’s just the Lead Handler.  She’s in charge of our medical and technical care, so she does have a lot of say over us in that capacity.  She’s also a majority stockholder along with dad, and she’s always been the company spokesperson, but the company is run by us Angels, especially Michael.  That’s how dad set it up when he left, so we’d have the final say.  When there were six of us, Naomi would break any ties, but that was all the more part she played in the leadership.”

            “Oh. And yeah, she does kind of fit the whole ‘douchebag’ definition there, but you still shouldn’t call her that.”  Winchester finished with the scarf and pulled a hat down over Castiel’s head.  “Even if she’s your stepmom, she’s still your mom.”

            “But she’s not your anything,” Castiel pointed out.

            “And I’ll call her what I see fits.  But I won’t do it in front of you.  That’s not fair to you.”

            Winchester took his hands and pulled, getting him up on his boots.  And Castiel realized with alarm that, while he’d been distracted, Winchester had gotten him ready to go outside!  “Stop!  I don’t want to go!  Get all of this back off of me and leave me alone!”

            “Too much trouble.  Besides, you need exercise.”

            “Let’s just go up and walk some more on the roof.”

            “It’ll be fine.  Come on, just start walking with me.”

            Winchester’s arm was around his waist, making him move.  This was unacceptable.  He’d just told this stupid, ridiculously handsome bodyguard that he and the other Angels had the final say as leaders of Angeli Quinque.  So why wouldn’t Winchester listen to him?! Obviously the bodyguard was impaired in some way.  He was nothing at all like his brother.  The sooner Lucifer found him a permanent bodyguard and sent Dean Winchester far, far away, the better!

            Still, what Winchester had said intrigued him.  He’d never stopped to think about why, exactly, people stared at him. It was just something that happened, something that made him feel small and ashamed and scared, something that made him want to throw up his arms to hide his plate and rush back into the safety of his section.

            Instead, Winchester took him out of his section, down to the public area, and straight through the lobby.  People were milling around.  Already, many of them had stopped and were pointing at him, raising cell phones to take his picture.

            Castiel whimpered, shielding his plate with his hands.  “Please take me back!”

            “Cas?”

            “Please!  I can’t do this!  They’re going to hurt me, try to steal me!”

            “Castiel, look at me, ok?  You’re fine. Before I took you down, I had security do a sweep, set up a perimeter.  No one else is going to be allowed past that perimeter until you’re safely back in your section.  And everyone, down to the last man, who is already in the perimeter has been checked for weapons and notified that any attempt to touch you in any way will result in an immediate correction, up to and including death, depending on severity. No one is going to touch you.  I will personally deal with anyone who tries it!”

            Castiel looked at him.  Dean Winchester just looked too, well, pretty to be taken seriously as a bodyguard. Castiel knew that, in order to be assigned to him, Winchester had to pass a vigorous background and training check and be highly recommended.  This was the older brother of Sam Winchester, Gabriel’s old bodyguard.  Castiel had liked Sam Winchester.  Sam had gentle eyes, a gentle voice, and a warm smile.  They'd all liked him.  Poor Gabriel had fallen apart when he’d died and hadn’t had a permanent bodyguard since, but it didn’t matter so much now.  With the com towers set up, Gabriel rarely left the Heaven building.  But Castiel badly needed a bodyguard.  He simply wasn’t capable of taking care of himself.  That meant the criteria to be his bodyguard were especially high.  Dean Winchester must have fit the bill, despite looking more like a male model than a bodyguard.  Still, Castiel wasn’t convinced.  “What will you do if someone attacks us, tries to steal me?” he challenged.

            “Wrong question to ask.  First thing we need to discuss is what you’ll do.  And what you’ll do, Cas, is resist.”  His eyes were serious as he looked at Castiel.  “Remember that wherever they’re taking you will be worse than where you are, so don’t cooperate unless you have no choice.  Do whatever you can to keep them from taking you. You got that big nasty Angel blade, so use it!”

            “But I don’t have my weapon!”  Castiel extended his arm and slid back his sleeve, revealing the scar. “After The Incident?  I hurt someone, someone I care about very much. I couldn’t stand for it to happen again. So I tore my weapon out.”

            Winchester blinked.  “Wow. Well, I don’t know if I agree with that choice, buddy, but it was yours to make, so we’ll live with it.  Because you’re still not helpless.  You still have elbows to jam into ribs, feet to kick, hands to punch and pinch and claw...  Cas, you’ve got a titanium plate in your head!  Headbutt those fuckers!  The most important thing to remember is to not ever give up.  You just keep fighting, hold out as long as you can, and wait for me.  I’m coming for you.”

            That earned the bodyguard a surly look.  “Which brings us back to the question of what you’ll do to protect me!”

            “I’ll kill ‘em.”

            Castiel blinked at him in surprise.  Winchester looked solemnly back at him, nodding.  “Castiel, if anyone ever tries to hurt you or threaten you in any way?  I will end them without blinking an eye.  No one will hurt you, not on my watch.  Now come on.” He’d started forward, moving Castiel towards the door.  “Let’s go for a walk.”

            Castiel was tense.  People were staring at him.  He self-consciously covered his plate, lowered his eyes.  “Please don’t make me do this, Winchester!”

            “Dean.”

            “Huh?”

            “Call me Dean.  And look, Cas.  Look at the way these people are looking at you!”

            Castiel dared to look up.  Sure enough, the people in the lobby were staring at him, but for the first time, Castiel saw the looks on their faces.  They looked excited, almost awed.  They were keeping a respectful distance, giving him plenty of room to move through.  No one tried to grab him.  And Winchester’s - Dean’s - arm around him was firm, supportive.

            They walked out the door, moving out into the street.  Castiel crowded fearfully into his bodyguard, his hand over his plate again and his breathing fast.

            “Just relax, Angel.  Look, most of these people out here are looking at you the same way they did in there, except...  Hey, check it out, Cas!  See that prick there in the suit staring?  That, Cas, is a douchebag.  See, you can tell by the way he stands.”

            “Really?”  Castiel stared at the man.  He did indeed seem different than the others in how he stood and stared at Castiel with his phone out.  His face held none of the awe or excitement that most people had.  Instead, the man seemed to be looking at him expectantly, as though he expected Castiel to do something entertaining.

            As Castiel watched, the man blinked, aware of the two men staring hard at him. His face flushed.  He hurriedly shoved his phone into his pocket, huffed, and quickly started walking away.

            Dean was laughing.  “And that’s how you deal with douchebags!  Nicely done, buddy!  Someone stares at you like he just did?  Try staring back!”

            Dean had reached over, gently took Castiel’s arm and pushed his hand away from his plate.  Castiel allowed it.  Something about the way Dean laughed and smiled was oddly calming.  It felt as though Dean was laughing with him, rather than at him.  He looked shyly up and down the street, looked back at Dean, and managed a smile. “Which way are we going?”

            Dean seemed to be about to indicate a direction.  But he paused, eyeing Castiel.  “Which way do you want to go?  They gave me this prescribed route, but this is your walk, so you decide.  I won’t let you go out of the security perimeter.”

            “A-alright, Dean.”

            At the sound of his own name, Dean’s smile grew even wider.  Castiel found himself smiling back, feeling warm despite the chill in the wind.

            It wasn’t a relaxing walk.  The sight of people staring at him, the flashing of cameras, and Castiel’s general anxiety about being out in the open saw to that.  But it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d thought it would be.  Dean was superhumanly patient.  He talked to Castiel any time the Angel started to freeze up in fear, calmed him, frequently made him smile and once even got him to laugh.

            But then Dean was holding a door directing Castiel into a Biggerson’s restaurant and com center, and Castiel’s anxiety returned.  “Dean, what are we doing here?”

            “Grabbing a bite to eat.  It’s another thing you can do while you’re out.”  Dean took his hand, pushed it down away from his plate, and steered him forward towards the awed girl at the counter.  “Here, just come up to the counter and tell this pretty girl what you want.”

            The girl giggled.  Castiel swallowed hard and ordered the first thing on the menu.  She rang him up and gave him a number.  Dean pointed at the scanner sitting on the counter.  “Now you let it scan your ID chip, and it just takes the money out of your account.”

            “What money?”

            “In your bank account, Cas!”

            Castiel frowned.  “But Dean, I don’t have any money?”

            Dean stared at him.  “Where does your paycheck go?  Wait, that look, you cannot be serious!  Castiel, you’re the one who makes money hand over fist for Angeli Quinqui, and you’re telling me you don’t get paid?!”

            “No. I’ve never been paid.”

            Dean shook his head.  “That’s ridiculous, buddy.  Whatever. Just add his total to mine.”  He gave his order.

            A woman by the door was staring at Castiel.  She didn’t look awed.  Was she a douchebag?  Castiel tried staring hard at her, making his eyes wide and being as obvious as possible. She flushed and quickly left. Dean’s tactic obviously worked.

            Meanwhile, Dean had finished ordering.  He held up his hand towards the scanner.  There was a beep.

            “Oh,” the girl said, her smile suddenly forced.  “You’re a veteran.  I thought you were a business associate of Angel Castiel’s, but you’re his bodyguard?”

            “That’s right,” Dean said slowly.  He appeared to be somehow bracing.

            “You should really make sure that your scarf doesn’t cover your pin on your collar!” she told him, looking angry. “In this establishment, veterans are encouraged to sit in the back, in the partitioned areas.”

            Dean frowned and displayed the gold pin on his collar with the Angeli Quinque backing.  “I’m Angeli Quinque.  I’m blacked out.  That’s why I’m with an Angel!”

            “We will, of course, give you a discount as required by law.”  Her eyes were cold now.  “But our management would like to reiterate that you should really sit in the veterans’ section.  I’d like to encourage you to do so.”

            Dean gave a humorless smile.  “Encourage. Yeah, fine.  C’mon, buddy.”

            “Um, Angel Castiel, you, of course, are welcome to sit wherever you wish!” Her dazzling smile was back.  “We have an open booth right over there, in front of the window!  I’d be happy to act as your personal server, and...”

            “I’m his bodyguard,” Dean snapped, suddenly waspish.  “He needs to stay with me, and I’m encouraged to sit in the back. So c’mon, buddy, let’s move over, pick up our food, and go sit in the back.”

            The front of the store wasn’t at all what Castiel was used to, but the partitioned veterans’ section was even worse.  The partitions made him feel claustrophobic, and the tinny music playing from the speakers overhead was loud enough to make it impossible to hear without sitting close and leaning towards each other.  “Sorry,” Dean apologized.  “I’m still pretty new to the city.  I knew a lot of places have an unofficial policy of discrimination against veterans, but it’s not something I knew about when I came in.  Only reason we’re not walking out is because I wanted to get you out of the range of the cameras so we can talk.  That means a place we can sit down, which means a restaurant. And the only other place that’s inside the security perimeter is out of my price range.”

            “Um, ok?”  Castiel suddenly felt nervous.  Here he was, alone with this admittedly very attractive man, and Dean wanted to talk? “Well, what did you want to talk about?”

            “Well, let’s start with you.  I got the standard orientation, but obviously there’s a few things that were left out. I’ll just be blunt.  What’s wrong with you?  I mean, I know the story, about how you were stolen and damaged, but why are you so scared all the time?”

            Castiel folded his hands on the table and stared at them.  “I was stolen, Dean,” he explained quietly.  "I was taken away, forced on a jack, treated like a machine.  When people stare at me, it reminds me of that time.  I’m afraid someone will steal me again.  Because this time, if I’m stolen and someone treats me like that, forces me on a jack?  I don’t have a control, Dean.  If I go into overload, I’ll never get out of it.  I’ll die screaming!”

            Dean had gone still.  He stayed as he was for a moment.  Castiel stared at his own folded hands, his heart pounding in his ears.  But then Dean’s hands reached out, covered his own.  “I won’t let it happen,” he assured.  “I’ll protect you.  And you can be yourself around me, alright?  I’m not here to judge you, and I’m sure as hell not here to laugh at you.  You’re amazing, alright?  And it’s a damned honor to work with you.”

            Castiel was completely floored.  He ducked his head, his hand instinctively moving to cover his plate.  Then he forced it down, picked up whatever it was he’d ordered, and began to eat.  The first bite of it surprised him.  Castiel had eaten in a variety of award-winning, high-end restaurants, feasted on delicacies from around the world.  But the meaty sandwich, made from two patties of ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, cheese, and bacon with some sort of sauce and a sesame seed bun had a flavor that was unlike anything he’d tried before.

            “Good, huh?” Dean asked, smiling as he talked with his mouth full.

            Castiel smiled back.  “This?” he called.  “Makes me very happy!”

            Dean’s smile widened, and for the first time, Castiel felt himself relax. He tried the potato strips, savored them.  Maybe, he dared to think, just maybe, his new bodyguard would work out after all?

            “Couple things we should establish,” Dean was saying.  “One is what I told you, that you can be yourself.  Two is what I hope you already figured out.  I won’t take your shit, ok, Cas?  I really don’t care that you’re an Angel because I didn’t want your detail in the first place.  So I’m here to finish out my probation until Luc finds you a permanent bodyguard.  Now I’ll do my job because I’m damned good at what I do.  But don’t get all high and mighty with me.  It’s not gonna fly.”

            “Alright,” Castiel said humbly.  Apparently this wasn’t going to work out after all.

            “Now for the next big question.  Why are you so locked in?”

            “I have a tendency to wander off,” Castiel confessed.  “I imagine you’ll see soon enough.”

            “I already saw.  But just because you wander doesn’t mean you need locked in.”

            “Yes, it does!  Naomi says that it’s for my own safety.  If I’m not locked in, then I’ll just walk out into the street and get stolen!”

            Dean looked hard at him.  “Naomi says that?  That if you walk out into the street you’ll be stolen?  She actually said that?  Does she know how scared you are of being stolen?!”  When Castiel nodded, Dean sighed.  “Holy shit, no wonder you’re such a mess!  Listen, Cas.  You can’t live like this, ok?  It’s like you spend every waking moment terrified someone’s going to come along and take you away!”

            “I do,” Castiel confessed.

            “That’s no way to live!  Cas, there are five of you, alright?  And every one of you is valuable.  Hell, if I walked off with Raphael, I’d have more money than old King Midas and could buy my own private country!  But Raph’s not locked in, is he?  None of them are!  The five of you have the top five floors of that building, but the elevator only goes to the top floor for an ID with full clearance.  They can get out with their IDs and the passcode.  But you can’t get out at all unless one of us lets you out! Why the hell is that the case? Yeah, you wander off,” Dean continued as Castiel took a breath to explain that.  “But you’re hardly going to walk out the front door of the lobby alone without someone seeing you, alright?  It’s stupid!  Do you even know the security code to get down to the lobby?”

            “No?”

            “We’re changing that.  The code is 031701.  The real trick is that you have to press pound before you plug it in, and the asterisk after.  Otherwise, it won’t take the code.”

            Castiel eyed him, wide-eyed.  “But if I know the code, it’s not useful to keep me in!  Why are you telling me this?!”

            “Because the way you’re treated isn’t right.”

            And now Castiel frowned.  “What do you care?” he challenged.  “You already said you didn’t want me!  And we both know the only reason you’re even working for the company is for that!”  He pointed a finger accusingly at the Angeli Quinque backing behind the pin on Dean’s collar.

            Dean went still.  The green eyes were unreadable as he looked at Castiel.  “This shit here?” he said, indicating their surroundings.  “The bullshit that comes with having to wear a veteran’s pin in public?  That’s just a fact of life if you’re born in the lower income brackets, ok?  Unless you can buy out your draft ticket, your chances are better than fifty percent you’re going to end up in the military. And no matter what the benefits of that are, with the health programs, mandatory hiring rates, the income supplements and the discounts?  You end up in places like this.  You’re shunned and pushed into housing that’s supposed to be just as good as anyone else’s but isn’t.  You get jobs where they have to hire a certain number of vets and pay you decent because that’s the law, but they resent you and make damned sure you know it. And you either save up fast to buy your own car, sit in the vets’ section on the buses, or do a hell of a lot of walking because cab drivers can spot a vet pin from a block away.  They’ll shut off their light to pass you buy, then turn it right back on again the next block!  Being a vet sucks, ok?  The only way you can expect to get anything resembling a normal life after the military is if you get a black-out.  Angeli Quinque seems like every vet’s dream job because the company supplies housing better than anything else you can get, pays damned well, and best of all, blacks you out.  Veterans have been known to fight each other for one of these.”  He indicated the backing on his pin.  “But I’ll tell you a secret, Castiel.  I’m not one of them.  I didn’t have to sell my soul to Angeli Quinque for a black-out.  Because I was already blacked out before I got here.”

            Castiel hadn’t expected that.  “Really?”

            “Really.”  Dean reached into a pocket and produced a pin backing, gold with black enamel, that he displayed to Castiel.  “There’s your proof!”

            “Oh.”  Castiel watched as Dean quickly put the backing back into his pocket.  “I’m sorry, I just assumed, I mean, you don’t seem like, well...”

            “I don’t seem like someone who could get the money together to afford a legal black-out, right?  Well, buddy, that’s why this is a secret.  Let’s just say there’s a reason I didn’t wear my pin backing when I applied for the job or mark that I was blacked out on my application, and we’ll keep it between us.”

            “Alright.  I don’t have any reason to tell anyone, Dean, but I’m honored you shared that with me. You could get in a lot of trouble!”

            “Believe me, I’m aware.”  He looked hard at Castiel.  “But I told you for a reason.  I didn’t need Angeli Quinque to black me out.  I’m here because I chose to be here.  So you can drop your attitude, ok?  Don’t get all high and mighty with me anymore, Angel Castiel.  It won’t fly!”

            Castiel sighed.  “You hate me.”

            “Nah.  I hate your spoiled brat attitude towards me that you gave me earlier, but I don’t hate you. Hell, I like you!”

            That made Castiel blink.  “You do?”

            “Sure!  Once you get past the entitled bullshit, you’re a pretty cool guy.  That’s why we’re out here.  Now that we both know where we stand with each other?  We can start over!”

            Castiel didn’t know what to say.  But then Dean smiled at him, and the warmth had returned to his green eyes. “Eat up, ok, buddy?  Those fries are great hot, but they’re shit when they get cold.”


	19. Chapter 1 - Angeli Quinque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following an unfortunate incident with a hairbrush, Castiel is being assigned a new bodyguard. He never does well with sudden changes in his staff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for any confusion. For some reason, AO3 keeps posting my chapters on October 25th instead of the present date. No idea why.

            The man was fingering the gold Angeli Quinque backing behind his veteran’s pin as he walked into Castiel’s office behind the Defense section Chief of Staff.  Gold pin, not silver like most of the guards, although seeing the new staff fingering the company backing was common enough.  It was, Castiel knew, the primary reason that so many veterans lined up to work for Angeli Quinque.  Lucifer claimed it was also what made their security staff so loyal.  They were even more grateful to be blacked out than they were for the high pay and benefits the job provided.  Still, there were very few who had gold pins.  They meant special ops, the Green Berets, the SEALs, soldiers with extended training and everything that went with it. Considering that, Castiel would have thought that there would be far more of the golden veterans’ pins on the Angeli Quinque staff.  They had more reason to want blacked out than any other.  It was surprising, how few there actually were.

            “I just really want to get started,” the man was saying.  “And I’m not entirely sure what we’re doing here in Research and Development.  When can I actually meet him?  The Angel Gabriel, I’m a huge fan!  I can’t wait to start working with him.”

            “Actually, there’s been a change of plans, regarding your assignment,” the Chief explained.  “Angel Lucifer has assigned you to the Angel Castiel.”

            Castiel carefully watched the man’s face.  The green eyes widened in surprise, the freckled cheeks flushed. “What?!  But that was the assignment I was promised, the one I signed on for!  My brother Sammy used to work for him, and Angel Gabriel himself said he was looking forward to my joining his staff!  You can’t just reassign me!”

            “We can, and we did.  Circumstances have changed.  Angel Gabriel rarely leaves the Heaven building anymore.  He has no need of a permanent assigned bodyguard, but Angel Castiel does.”

            “But...!”

            “You’re aware of the circumstances, what happened to Angel Castiel?”

            “I know some assholes kidnapped him and sent him into overload, and he ended up getting his control Angel killed in the process of getting him back, right?”

            “Yes, he was stolen, and his control was killed.  That’s why...”

            “How the hell does something like that even happen?  Bad enough to lose Angel Castiel, but to lose Angel Samandriel, too?  Anyway, that’s not the point.  The point is...”

            “The point is that you are assigned to Angel Castiel, for at least the duration of your probation here with the company.  Now, there are a few things you need to know.  First...”

            “I want to talk to Angel Lucifer!  This is some bullshit!”

            The Chief cleared his throat.  “First, while the general public is told that Angel Castiel is eccentric, the truth is that his condition is far worse.  He’s not actually capable of caring for himself.  He has difficulty focusing on anything outside of his work for any extended period of time, but his programming, his work is something he will focus on exclusively.  What this means is that while he will perform his duties at a high level, he will also neglect the physical care of himself to a potentially harmful degree.”

            “Um, what?”

            “As his bodyguard, you will be responsible for all aspects of his care, including feeding, dressing, bathing...”

            “Wait, I gotta give this Angel baths?!  This is a joke, right?!”

            “It’s no joke.  You will also be responsible for ensuring that Angel Castiel stays locked in his section...”

            “Locked in?  Why’s he locked in?”

            The Chief cleared his throat.  “Sergeant Winchester...”

            “It’s Dean now.  I’m out of the military.”

            “Mr. Winchester, you will find yourself the recipient of a great deal of information if you could find it within your power to close your mouth and open your ears!  Angel Castiel, as I have been trying to explain to you, is not capable of caring for himself.  He will wander, he will ignore his own needs and his own safety, because he becomes lost in his thoughts.  His base programming, the purpose for which he was initially created, takes precedence above all else.  Therefore, your responsibilities will include the following.  You will see to his personal safety in the manner of a traditional bodyguard, and take extra precautions as indicated by his condition. You will also tend to his personal needs, which could, as mentioned, include bathing.  If it makes you feel any better, I’m told he can usually keep it together long enough to at least accomplish that, provided you set everything out for him in advance.  He has, however, wandered out completely naked and dripping wet and tried to enter his lab to start work on at least two occasions I’m aware of.  The best advice is to stay close to the door when he’s bathing.”

            The man stared at him.

             “You will ensure that he is always locked in his section unless he’s accompanied by a full security detail, which will obviously include yourself.  You will personally make sure he maxes out his indicators on the jack each day.  And you will follow any and all directives he may have, providing they keep within the parameters that I have just laid out for you.  Any questions?”

            “What the hell is wrong with this guy that he needs all this?!”

            “He was damaged during his captivity to a degree far greater than that which we admit to the public.  It’s your job to keep him safe, take care of him, and make sure that the public never finds that out.”

            “Ok, I so did not sign up for this!  Assign someone else!”

            “There is no one else.  Currently, you are our only qualified candidate.  Angel Castiel has agreed to accept you, so here you are. Congratulations on your new assignment. It comes with a substantial sign-on bonus should you complete the required probationary period.  Good luck.”

            The man groaned and combed his fingers through his hair.  “Awesome.  No way I can appeal?”

            “You have your assignment.  Now go meet him.  And be careful.  He doesn’t do well with changes in his personnel and is likely to act out.  It’s not unheard of for him to go into a funk, throw a temper tantrum, have panic attacks, or even go completely catatonic. If that happens, call the handlers.”

            The man sighed.  “Awesome. Where is he?”

            The Chief pointed towards Castiel.  “Right over there at the desk.”

            The man looked.  “Um, there’s nobody at that desk?”

            “He’s obviously not in the chair!  Aren’t you former special ops, Winchester?!  If you can’t even see where your assigned Angel is, then...”

            “Holy mother of fuck!”  The man’s eyes were wide, staring hard at Castiel.

            The Chief nodded.  “Go talk to him, see if you can maybe get him to come out.  He’s been there for about two hours now and no one can get him to move. His indicator light will be on soon, so he’ll need taken to his lab.  Oh, and don’t forget to feed him lunch, because he wouldn’t eat breakfast.” He smiled, clapping the man on the shoulder as he continued to stare at Castiel.  “Complete your probation in a satisfactory manner, abide by the rules you learned at your orientation, and you’ll go far with Angeli Quinque.”

            The Chief went out without another word, leaving Castiel alone with his new bodyguard.

            The man, Winchester, apparently, came over to the desk.  Castiel watched his shoes approach.  Then the knees came down to the floor, followed by the hands, and a set of green eyes were looking at him.  “Um, hi?” Winchester called.  “Listen, I’m sorry about all that.  I, um, had no idea you were there.  I hope I didn’t offend you too much?”

            Castiel didn’t reply.

            Winchester got up, walked around the desk.  The chair was pulled back, and Winchester again got on his hands and knees. Now he was at Castiel’s back as Castiel continued to stare out from under the desk.  “Hey,” he called.  “Um, how about you come out from under there?”

            Castiel didn’t answer.

            “Ok, um...  Shit, I gotta get you out of there, it’s filthy and you’ve gotta be so uncomfortable! But it’s pretty clear you’re not coming out on your own, so what do I do?  Um, I’m allowed to touch you, right?  Yeah, of course you are, Winchester, you’re his bodyguard and pretty much the only one outside the handlers who is!  Right.  Ok, I’m just gonna...  Yeah, I’m going to put my hands on your waist, just like this, and now I’m going to slide my arms around you.  Now I’ve got you.  Easy, it’s ok, I won’t hurt you!” Winchester soothed as Castiel gasped.  “I just really don’t want you to keep lying on the cold floor under this desk, ok?  And you’ve been here for hours?  Why are you all curled up under here anyway?”

            Strong arms gently slipped around his waist, tightened, and suddenly Castiel was moving, his body sliding along the floor as Winchester drew him out from underneath the desk.  Castiel cried out in alarm, clutched at the arms.

            “Easy, easy!  It’s ok. I’m Dean Winchester, your new bodyguard, apparently.  I... Seriously, dude, what the hell were you doing hiding under your desk?  Isn’t this your office?”

            Of course it was Castiel’s office.  Castiel whined a bit, frowning as Winchester pulled him out.  He trembled, raising his hands to cover his plate.

            “Ok, um...”  Winchester seemed at a loss.  “Ok. In orientation, they said your proper address was ‘Angel’ and your name, but if we’re assigned as security detail, we’re supposed to just call you by your name, to create a more relaxing setting. And by the looks of things, you need all the relaxation you can get.  So, hello, Castiel!”

            Castiel had curled up around the hands at his waist, both of his own hands still up to cover his plate.

            “Oooookay.  Look, Cas, you’re a mess.  You’re all dirty from being under the desk.  So I’m going to get you cleaned up.  Then I’ll take you to your lab, because your indicator’s on.  That’s important for an Angel, right?  That you get your jack time?  So...  Yeah, I’ll get you cleaned up.”  He started pulling Castiel again, getting him to his feet and forcing him to start walking.

            Castiel thrashed wildly.  “Take your hands off of me!”

            “Whoa!”  Winchester immediately let him go and backed away, hands raised.  “Sorry, Castiel, I didn’t mean to...  Hey, no way!”

            Castiel had been scrambling back under the desk.  Once again, Winchester caught him, pulling him back out.  “Leave me alone!”

            “Nuh uh.  I didn’t want to be your bodyguard, but I am, so I’m not letting you climb back under that desk.  Let’s get you cleaned up.  And relax, would you?  You’re shaking like a leaf.”

            “How dare you?!  You’re help!” Castiel spat.  “You have no right to handle me!”

            “Yeah, well, I’m about to ‘help’ you get cleaned up.  Now stop squirming!”

            “No! Let me go!  You’re fired!”

            “And you’re an entitled little shit, but you don’t hear me complaining.  Plus, I’m all you got, so guess what, you can’t fire me.  Stop squirming!”

            Castiel did not stop squirming, but it did him no good.  Winchester got a better grip around his middle and dragged him into the bathroom.  “Ok!” the infuriating bodyguard announced.  “I’m going to do what I was just told and get you some towels and wash cloths and clean clothes.  You got fifteen minutes to clean yourself up.  Or I’m throwing you in the tub and scrubbing you.”

            “You would never dare!”

            “You wanna put some money where your mouth is, sweetheart?  Now close those pretty lips and start with the splish-splash!”

            “No! Security!”

            “Newsflash, I am security!  You gonna do this?”

            “No!”

            “Fine.  Strip.”

            “I will do no such thing!”

            “No problem, I can throw you in that shower with your clothes on!”

            Castiel went silent.

            “Yeah, I thought so.  Not many people say no to you, do they, Cas?  Things are about to change.  I’ll take care of you, but I’ll be damned if I’ll kiss your ass.  And whatever you went through doesn’t give you the right to treat people like shit.  Now, do I have your attention?   Good. It’s bath time.”

            Castiel scowled.  Then he obediently began to unbutton his shirt.  “I hate you,” he mumbled.

            “Yeah, join the club.”

            Castiel shuddered, and Winchester’s expression softened.  “Hey.  You don’t have to be afraid, alright?  I’m not going to hurt you, but by the same token, I’m not going to let you hurt yourself. Just get cleaned up.  I’ll be right outside in case you need anything.”

            Just like that, the bodyguard walked out and closed the door, leaving a bewildered Castiel alone.  For a moment, Castiel had no idea what to do.  He looked around.  Where was he? Toilet, sink, shower...  Oh.  There were towels and clean clothes here.  He needed to get washed up.  Alright. That was something he could manage.

            Fifteen minutes later, Castiel was clean and dressed in clothes that apparently suited Winchester.  But he’d withdrawn again, not speaking.  He barely noticed it when Winchester led him carefully to his lab.  “Um, I’m not sure what’s wrong with him,” the bodyguard called when he spotted the lab staff.  “He was under a desk, and then he was being a complete shit, and now he’s not talking again.  I’m not sure if he’s just pissed I dragged him out and made him shower, or what!”

            “Oh no, this is normal,” the lead technician explained.  “He’s barely said a word in days, unless it’s to give instructions for the work.  Angel Castiel doesn’t do well with sudden changes in his staff, and his last bodyguard just quit after he almost set his bedroom on fire with a hairbrush.”

            “Is that why he smelled like smoke?  I wondered about that.”

            “Well, honestly, her leaving was a matter of time.  Angel Lucifer put her on report two days ago after Angel Castiel got out of his section and ended up stuck in a supply closet.  She probably was going to get fired anyway.  It’s the second time Angel Castiel got out on her watch because she wasn’t paying close enough attention to him.”

            “Um, I’m sorry, but did you just say he got stuck in a supply closet?”

            “I guess he was going through the cleaning supplies, the janitor didn’t realize he was in there and locked the door.  It took three hours to find him.  The other Angels were livid!”  The staff member paused, eyeing Castiel.  “How’d you get him out from under the desk?”

            “Dragged him out, and then threatened to shower him with his clothes on.”

            “Ok, that is a novel approach, but I guess we can’t argue with results.  Um, you’re supposed to dress him in his work uniform, but I guess it doesn’t matter too much.  Just next time remember, ok?”

            Winchester was looking a little wild-eyed.  He followed as Castiel’s staff got him into his antigrav belt.  “I don’t get this.  I mean, this is the Angel Castiel, the genius inventor!  How can he be so, well, this?!”

            “He’s been like this since The Incident, but trust me, he’s still a genius inventor.”  She paused, looking at Winchester.  “You’re Sammy’s brother?  Sorry about him.  We all liked him.  It’s funny, he died last December, and then we lost Angel Samandriel in the incident at the end of January.  Now here you are, in September, joining the Angeli Quinque staff?  Lots of changes lately!”

            “Yeah.”  Winchester was watching Castiel.  “So, how’s he do this?  Can I watch?”

            “Normally, he likes to work alone.  But since you’re new, and he’s kind of out of it anyway, if you want you can watch this first session?  Just go sit in the corner over there.  He’ll probably forget you’re there fast.  When he’s like this, he doesn’t remember much.”

            Castiel had been paying no attention to anything being said.  His eyes were fixed on the wireless jack in the other staff member’s hand.  He plugged in quickly once it was handed over, activating his lab, and rose into the air to start to work.

            A variety of projects was waiting for him, but Castiel only briefly glanced over them.  The bulk of his attention was on the Epsilon generator.  The device, when complete, would provide a lasting source of clean energy, enough to power a medium-sized city.  But only if Castiel could make it work.  The problem had been weighing on his mind for days.  Now, though, he thought he may have found the answer.

            Castiel pulled up the plans, floating around them as he connected to his off-site lab.  “Angel Castiel here, am I being received?”

            “Loud and clear, Angel Castiel!  Glad you’re here early today.  When the session cut out yesterday, we damned near had an explosion on our hands! Isn’t there any way to increase your parameters?  That was scary as hell!”

            “You’ll have to talk to Angel Lucifer.”  Castiel floated around the hologram, inspecting carefully.  In the offsite lab, he knew, the hologram of his blue angel avatar would be visible, flying around the actual device. “Alright, this entire section here? Tear it out.  It’s not going to work.”

            Castiel ignored the round of groans and cursing that came with his order and called up more holograms.  These he manipulated with his hands, forming an entirely new component.  “I want to use this in its place,” he called.  “It’s got an alloy finish, which should resolve the corrosion issue.  And the components are all reinforced, which will hopefully help with the vibration issue we discovered the last dry run.  You’ll need the following...”

            Castiel continued instructing his off-site lab, and bit by bit, the generator began to take form.  By the time his indicator was nearing the top, the actual generator was a reality. Castiel smiled.  He managed to see it start up for the first time before the capacity chimes sounded and he was forced to shut down and disconnect from the jack.  Then he gently floated back down to the floor.

            The presence of a strange man in his lab startled him.  He stumbled back, staring.

            “It’s ok, it’s just me!”

            Ah, the irritating new bodyguard.  But he had an odd look on his face now as he approached Castiel.  “That was awesome!  I mean, I knew you were a genius.  But to see you doing that, and how you did it?  You were just flying around like, well, like an angel!  That had to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!”  The green eyes were wide and full of wonder as the bodyguard looked at Castiel.  “You really are awesome!”

            That was new.  Castiel cocked his head, squinting at him in confusion.  “Awesome?”

            “Awesome.  Here, um, can I help you out of that belt or something, or...  Oh, here’s your staff, I’ll just, um, get out of the way.”

            Winchester was certainly strange.  But at least he knew enough not to interfere with Castiel’s work. Obviously, he had no intention of allowing the bodyguard back into his lab.  But based on what he’d heard, Winchester wouldn’t be staying long anyway. At least he was nice to look at.

            “You know, you seemed just fine while you were working,” Winchester continued once they were alone once more.  “I think you can do a lot more than you let on, or maybe just more than you think you can?  We’ll work on that, alright?  Meanwhile, you must be starving.”

            Castiel put his hands over his stomach, which chose that moment to growl.

            “Thought so.  C’mon, buddy. Let’s get you fed.”

            Castiel followed obediently where he was led.  Winchester wouldn’t be there long, but at least he seemed competent. It would have to do.

****

            Four months later, Dean Winchester held Castiel in his arms as he leaped from the roof of the Heaven building.  But they never hit the ground.


	20. Chapter ??? - Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes a literal leap of faith, but things do not go quite as planned.

            I believed in Castiel.  I just wished that the process for sending us both back together hadn’t taken quite so long.  By the time I’d gotten the tap indication from my wristband and was able to jump with my angel, the other four bastards were there, desperate to separate us, upsetting Cas.  But I still believed in him.  I’d made that terrifying jump.  And I’m not ashamed to admit that I came perilously close to shitting my britches. But even when we were falling, when the ground was coming closer and closer, even when Castiel himself, sure he was about to die, had turned his head and buried his face in the side of my neck, I still believed in Castiel.  I’d pressed the buttons in the order Cas had instructed me just before I’d jumped.  0-1-2-4. My birthday, just one more way my sweet angel showed his love for me, even when I’d been too scared and stupid to say it back.  Now the lights on both of our wristbands were flashing rapidly.  I didn’t know if that was good or bad.  All I knew was that the ground was coming up fast, that Cas was clinging to me, the Angel the only warmth as the freezing wind whipped past. I held him tight, whispered again and again that it would be alright, that I’d never hurt him, that I loved him. My angel.  My Castiel.  I’ll save you or die trying.

            And then everything was calm and still.  I was with Cas in the cabin, the terrified Angel held tight in my arms, still burying his face in my neck.  The sudden lack of sound and wind and movement was jarring.

            We both froze.  Then we looked up, my excited eyes meeting his shocked, blazing electric blue.  “It worked,” I whispered, my smile widening.  “Cas, you did it!  It worked!”

            “I...  You...” Cas pulled free and stumbled back, glowing eyes wide and one golden hand raised as if to ward me off.  “You _jumped_ with me!  You tried to kill me!  I don’t understand.  What happened?  Is this the afterlife?”

            My smile faded.  I’d understood why he couldn’t say anything in front of the others, but the way he’d kissed me, I’d been sure he remembered something!  But the way he was looking at me now? “Cas?  You...  You still don’t remember?”

            “I remember you had me and you jumped, Dean! I remember that very well!”  He looked frantically around.  “How did we get to dad’s cabin?  Dean, what is this?!  I need to go home!”

            “You really don’t remember!” I groaned.  I hadn’t anticipated that.  Even if whatever they’d done to him meant he didn’t remember me, Project Samandriel had been so dear to my angel.  He’d done all the fancy coding shit right in the computer in his own skull!  I’d thought, when it kicked in, that he’d remember.  But those amazing electric eyes of his were full of fear and confusion. “Oh, angel, what did they do to you?! Cas, baby, I...”

            Cas turned and bolted towards the door.

            I froze like a horse's ass for half a second in surprise before giving chase.  I caught him as he was fumbling open the locks, wrapping my arms around him from behind and lifting him up, pulling the thrashing Angel back from the door. “Cas, you can’t go out there! There’s a blizzard, remember?  It took out the communications and the power. That’s why it’s so dark in here! We were on generator power, remember? And it’s why we ended up staying two extra days at the cabin, because we got snowed in!”

            “Put me down!”  Cas was struggling frantically, kicking at me.  “Let go of me!  Help!  Guards!”

            “The guards are in the outlying cabin.  They can’t hear you.  It’s just us in here.  That’s why we were together.”  I tightened my arms around my angel, frustrated as Cas cried out and struggled wildly.  “Cas, please, just listen to me!”

            “Let me go!  _Let me go!_ ”

            “I will if you listen!”

            “I’ll listen if you let me go!”

            “Alright!”  I put him back on his feet and let him go.

            Cas immediately raced to the door and jerked it open.  I barely caught him before he would have run out in the middle of a snowstorm.  Once again, I wrapped my arms around Cas, pinning the Angel’s arms.  The little shit responded by throwing his head backwards, and I dodged by the narrowest of margins.  He was using moves I’d taught him against me!  “Cas!  Dammit, stop!”

            “No, let go of me!  Please, don’t hurt me!”  Cas wouldn’t stop fighting.

            “Cas, I love you!  I’m not going to hurt you.  Shhh, calm down.  Breathe, angel.  Slow breath in, slow breath out, that’s it.”

            Cas was listening, at least, slowing his breathing in response to my instructions and relaxing a bit in my arms.  Alright, good.  In spite of everything, I couldn’t help but relish this, that I could hold him in my arms like this again.  I’d missed it.  He smelled like the shampoo and soap I’d gotten him for Christmas.  His messy hair tickled my nose as I breathed him in. His tight, strong body was still trembling, but otherwise it was still in my arms.  Alright.  Get a grip, Winchester.  There would be all the time in the world to hold Cas later.  Right now, he obviously wanted loose.  “Ok, buddy,” I called, letting him go so he could turn and face me without letting go of his arm.  “I’m going to put you on the couch now.  I need you to stay calm and help me figure this out.  Alright?”

            Accusing eyes glared at me.  “You’re stealing me again!”

            “No!”  Ok, so I was, but I didn’t need him panicking over that right now.  “No, Cas.  No one is stealing you.  You’re with me, and I’m certified Angeli Quinque staff.”

            “You’re on probation, which you failed when you tried to steal me before!”

            “Ah, but was I brought in and officially terminated? No?  Then I’m still your bodyguard!”

            This close to Cas, I could almost hear the small clicks and whirs as the processors in my angel’s incredible mind worked that half-formed load of shit over.  “Are you going to take me back to Heaven?”

            Hell no.  “One step at a time.  Now sit down.”  I assisted Cas to the sofa.  “Just stay right here and keep calm.  I need to do a little recon, figure out our situation.”

            Cas was still shaking.  His arms were wrapped around himself, his glowing eyes darting frantically around.  I couldn’t resist leaning over him and kissing the top of his head.  “It’ll be alright,” I soothed.  “I love you, and whatever happens, we’re in it together, alright?”

            Cas didn’t move.  He stayed as he was, eyeing me.  Good enough.

            I was barely in the other room when freezing cold air blasted through the cabin.  Son of a bitch.  I raced outside, kicked in the night vision, and went after him.

            Cas was outside, his trench coat flaring, wing-like, behind him as he raced across the snowy ground, ignoring the treacherous footing in favor of running as fast as he could towards the guard cabin.  For a lab nerd, he was ridiculously fast.  By the time I finally managed to catch up to him, Cas was pounding on the door, yelling for the guards.  Not good.

            I clamped my hand over Cas’s mouth and pinned his arms, dragging the Angel away from the door.  Cas immediately panicked, kicking and thrashing and doing everything possible to free himself.  If there was a guard in that cabin, there was no way in Hell I was going to be able to satisfactorily explain myself.  Fuck it. I let go of Cas’s mouth in favor of getting a better grip around his middle, lifting him partway off of his feet so I could start dragging him back.

            “Help me!” Cas howled immediately, kicking frantically at the door.  “Come out! It’s Angel Castiel, help me!  Dean’s stealing me!  Make him let me go!”

            Well, if no one had heard him yet, it wasn’t likely they’d hear him now.  Not much I could do about it anyway.  But nothing stirred in the guard cabin.  The guards didn’t seem to be there.  Odd. Didn’t matter now.  The important thing was getting Cas back.  I started back towards the cabin, half-carrying and half-dragging my terrified lover through the dark and cold. There was probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit.

            I’d hoped, by leaving his hands free, that Cas wouldn’t be in such a panic.  Yeah, right, that didn’t work.  It was all I could do to drag him back to the cabin.  He fought me every step of the way, his slender body twisting and thrashing in my arms as he screamed for help.  “Come on, Cas!  You know I’m not going to hurt you!”

            But Cas was just too scared to listen.  By the time we got back, he was completely freaked.  He was flailing at me, crying out for help again and again, kicking and squirming so much I nearly dropped him.  But at least he was back at the cabin.  I dragged him inside and kicked the door closed.  I’d lock it later.  Right now, the most important thing was for me to get control of Cas before he ended up hurting himself.  The way he was struggling now, hurting himself was a real possibility.  I was worried Cas would go back into another funk, like he’d been in when I’d been assigned as his bodyguard.  Or worse, go completely catatonic like he’d done the first time I’d taken him out here.  Cas was spooked for sure.  But why wouldn’t he be?  For some reason, Cas didn’t seem to remember anything about being at the cabin or what had happened there.  Those precious days that had come to mean everything to me had somehow been completely wiped from the Angel’s memory.  But Cas absolutely remembered the roof of the Heaven building, and my desperate gamble to free him.  No, that’s not right, I realized.  Cas doesn’t understand that I was trying to free him.  He doesn’t understand why I had to hold him like that.  Even though I repeated the words he’d said to me to try to trigger his memories, he didn’t remember ever saying them!  And he still doesn’t!  Now he’s here, trapped by the guy he thinks just tried to commit a murder/suicide off the building with him, and he has no idea why.  No wonder he’s freaked!

            Alright.  Focus, Winchester.  In the other timeline, shortly after we’d talked about the fancy wristbands and Project Samandriel, the two of us had made love all night long.  But that wasn’t going to happen here.  Fine.  Step one, get control of Cas.

            I carried the thrashing Angel towards the sofa and pushed him down onto it, but his wildly kicking feet sent the coffee table flying.  Then he nearly flipped the sofa when he tried to climb over the back of it.  That was not going to work.  Too many objects for Cas to hurt himself on.  I needed room, someplace I could pin him down and keep him safe until he calmed.  I got a grip around him again and looked unhappily towards the huge king-sized bed in the master bedroom.  When I’d first settled on this desperate plan, by now, I’d imagined that Cas and I would be well on our way to making another amazing memory in that bed. Instead, here I was, dragging my terrified, resisting lover towards the bed like a rapist in a bad romance novel.

            Cas certainly fit the part of the terrified victim. If anything, he was more freaked now than he’d been before.  He caught at the doorway, clinging frantically.  “No!  No, Dean, I don’t want this!  Please, stop!”

            “Sorry, buddy.”  I twisted around, pulled hard, and Cas was through the door.  He’d stopped making coherent words now, only voicing frightened, desperate cries as he continued to struggle.  I couldn’t imagine what was going through his head. I had to get him to calm down before anything else.  So be it. I threw Cas onto the bed and dove on top of him.  A bit of fighting later, I had both of his wrists and was straddling my lovely nerd angel, pinning him down firmly on the bed.

            Another little cry.  Cas’s back arched, his body shaking in effort as he strained to free himself.  “No! Get off of me!  Please don’t do this!”

            “Cas!  Stop, ok? Just stop!  I’m not going to hurt you.  Calm down!”

             “No! Let me up!  Help, someone please help me!”

            Cas was in a total panic, his defensive mechanisms in full swing, bringing up the nanite armoring in his skin.  Beneath my hand on his wrist, I could feel the twitching, his body trying to raise a weapon that didn’t exist.  He was so amazing, but now, to see his Angel defenses activate like this made my stomach twist, because I was the cause of it. There was nothing I could do except hold him down, let him fight and kick and struggle until he wore himself out. Finally, Cas stilled, panting, looking desperately around the room for help that wasn’t coming.  Tears streamed, glistening like diamonds in the glow of his eyes before they trailed down his face.  It was heartbreaking, and I damned near wanted to cry myself.  My angel was so afraid!  I felt like a monster.  “Cas, come on, just calm down!” I begged.

            The glorious eyes pleaded with me.  Cas strained, pulling hard to try to free his hands.  “Please, Dean!  Let me up!”

            “I will, angel, but you gotta calm down! It’s gonna be alright.  I’m not going to hurt you, ok?”  I smiled at him.  “Safe in my arms, remember?  That’s what you told me!  When I’m holding you, you know nothing can hurt you.  I would die for you!”  I leaned down, kissed him.

            That was a mistake.  Cas immediately went into another panic, kicking and trying to buck me off.  “No, stop, get off of me!  I don’t love you, Dean, and we were never in a relationship!  We never made love, and I don’t want to!  I don’t want this!  Please, let me up!”

            I blinked at him, confused.  Then it finally sank in.  This was more than just a bit of amnesia, or Cas somehow having his memory wiped about what happened in this cabin.  It was far worse than that.  Cas didn’t remember anything at all about our relationship!  I’d deluded myself into believing that my touches, the kisses and caresses that Cas had once so longed for, could somehow trigger Cas’s memories, bring back the love that had been shining in his eyes when we were here before.  But those same loving touches now felt like an assault to the Angel.  I’d dragged him into the bedroom, pinned him down on the bed. Now Cas believed he was being attacked, that I was about to force myself on him!  That cut like a knife.  Somewhere inside of Cas’s cyborg brain, the memory of what we’d shared was still there. I believed that with all of my heart. But until I found a way for Cas to access those memories, I needed to control myself.  I nodded.  “Alright, Cas,” I soothed.  “I’m not gonna hurt you, I swear it.  And I’ll leave you alone.  I promise you, I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want, alright? You’re safe.  Just calm down, and I’ll let you up.”

            Cas panted, the glowing eyes looking warily up at me.  “How did you cut me off?”

            “Cut you off?”

            “Why can’t I contact any other Angels?!”

            I had no idea what he was talking about. “There aren’t any other Angels here, buddy.  It’s ok, though.  Your head, it’s seriously messed up right now.”

            “I want to talk to the other Angels!”

            “You can’t, ok?  The blizzard took out the com towers!  It knocked you for a loop when you started going into withdrawal from the jack...”

            “What?!”

            “I’ll explain that later,” I sighed.  “Bottom line, in the end, it was a good thing, because that meant you could work on your private project.  The one you only kept stored in your internal memory, not at Angeli Quinque. Project Samandriel!  We were here when you first activated those interface wristbands on us both, and said that if it worked, it would return us here, to the time you’d set.  Remember?”

            Paydirt.  The glowing eyes went wide with surprise, and then moved to regard the wristband I was still wearing.  I smiled and nodded.  “Yes, Cas! You showed me that project, made me part of it.  And that’s what brought us here.  It worked, angel!  You said the one problem you couldn’t get past was the equation of time with acceleration, that the process required subjects to reach a velocity of at least 50 miles an hour.  You said that even if I was in a plane crash, it would work, and as long as we were in close physical proximity, we’d both go back together!  That’s why I jumped with you!  I’d already activated the wristband, but to be honest, actually jumping off that building was the scariest damned thing I’ve ever done in my life.”  My smile softened as I looked down at the now-still Angel.  “I did it anyway, I took that literal leap of faith, because I believed in you, Cas.  I trusted you with my life.  Now I need you to trust me.  Will you do that?”

            “At least 50 miles per hour, for time dilation,” Cas whispered.

            “Yes!  That’s why I got into the building!  I was trying to be close to you, so we’d go back together.  I’m sorry, angel.  I hadn’t realized, I mean, I don’t understand why you don’t remember!  But I didn’t mean to frighten you.  I only wanted to save you, the way you asked me to.  You built Project Samandriel to save someone you love, and you chose me.  And I used it to save you instead!”

            Cas went quiet.  The electric blaze of his eyes revealed nothing of his thoughts as his mind raced, processing whatever was whirling through his head.  They focused on me, studying me for a moment. But to my relief, he was calming. “No one knows about Project Samandriel,” he announced.  “I never told anyone.”

            “No one but me!  Because you did it, angel.  You gave me this wristband, told everyone it was a prototype tracking device disguised as a smartwatch so I could track you.  You’re wearing one just like it!”  I carefully shifted my hand on Castiel’s wrist, showing the matching wristband without letting him pull free.  “It pissed me off at first, because you didn’t ask me before you locked it on me or tell me what it really was.  But once you explained it, I got it!  And Project Samandriel worked!  You did it, Cas!  You really did it!”

            “I have no memory at all of the events you’re describing,” Cas declared.  “I don’t remember anything about these wristbands.  If these are really the interface devices for Project Samandriel, then why would I give one to you?”

            That hurt, but I understood.  “To protect me.”  I smiled down at the beautiful cyborg beneath me.  “Because I got shot protecting you, and you flipped!  You came into my room in the hospital and locked this onto me while I was asleep.  And then, when we came out here, you told me about Project Samandriel, that it could allow you to travel back into the past and rewrite history, undo a critical mistake.  Shhh, it’s alright,” I soothed.  “You’re shaking, Cas!  I get it, you thought I was going to kill you tonight and rape you now.  But I only jumped because I believed in you!  I knew your project would work!  And I swear, I would never, ever hurt you!”

            “I believe that you believe that,” the Angel said evasively.  “I’m, well, I’m less afraid of you right now than I am curious.  I would very much like for you to let me up now, and please don’t pin me down like this again.  But that’s not why I’m shaking.  I’m cold, Dean, it’s freezing in here!”

            I finally realized that Cas was right.  I could see our breaths in little puffs. The air wasn’t below freezing, but it was certainly too cold for comfort.  I frowned.  “Ok, why is it so cold in here?  I mean, we had the door open for a bit, but the heat’s turned way down!  Wait,” I called, looking at what we were lying on. “Why is the dust cover on the bed? What the hell?”

            Cas twisted his wrists.  “Please let me up?”

            I eyed him.  “If I do, are you going to flip out again?”

            Cas just looked at me.  Shit.  I hadn’t wanted to pin him down like this in the first place.  Now that he was calm, to keep doing it felt like abuse. “Alright,” I agreed.  “I’ll let you up.  But if you’re already cold, you need to drop the Angel armor, alright? I’m not going to hurt you, and it will only lower your body temperature faster.”

            He did, his skin returning to its natural slightly gold-tinged hue as his defenses powered down.  And almost immediately, he cried out in pain.  “You’re hurting me!”

            “Oh shit, sorry!”  Of course.  He’d been struggling so hard that it had taken all my strength to keep him pinned down, and I’d never let up.  Now that his armor was gone, my fingers were digging into his wrists.  I quickly let them go and winced at the red marks. “Aw, hell.  That’s gonna bruise.  Cas, angel, I’m so sorry!”

            He rubbed his wrists.  Then he lay there, looking expectantly up at me.  “Let me up.”

            I climbed off of Cas and stood up to take a good look around, while keeping a watchful eye on my angel.  But Cas just sat up on the edge of the bed, watching me. Good.  Time to figure out what was going on here.

            “Well, there is one thing I can show you that might make you feel better,” I said, ducking down to look under the bed.  “You carved a message down here, proof that you and I...”

            My voice trailed off.  There was nothing carved under the bed, no sign that anything had ever been carved there.  Frowning in confusion, I got back up.  “What the hell?”

            “What’s wrong?”

            “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

            In a normal situation, I would have noticed immediately that something was off.  Back in the service, my instructors would have ripped me a shiny new asshole if they’d known I’d barely taken note of my surroundings this time.  Shit-ass excuse for a bodyguard, regardless of circumstance.  Now I needed to make up for my inattention and take in everything around me.  I slow blinked twice, bringing up my enhanced combat optics.  When I looked around now, I was seeing in full spectrum, including infrared, ultraviolet, and heat signatures.

            There was a lot to process.  The master bedroom was empty except for furnishings, and dust covers were over everything.  The thermostat was in here, and it was set at its lowest point.  I turned it up, and the heater kicked in with a rattle I’d never heard before.  There was no sign of Cas’s luggage.  My own luggage wasn’t in the connecting guest bedroom, either.  None of our belongings seemed to be present.  I frowned at Cas, shook my finger at him.  “Do not run outside!”

            He looked away.  It would have to do.

            Daring to walk away from Cas, I moved back into the living room, absently locking the door.  Same situation.  The computer banks hidden behind the walls would be off, of course.  I checked the kitchen and found the cupboards empty, the fridge turned off.  The gas had been turned off to the stove.  And when I looked outside, my enhanced vision pierced through the darkness and showed me that what I’d assumed was a blizzard was only a simple heavy snowfall.  Already, it was ending.  The snow I remembered being up over the bottom step looked only about an inch deep. “What the actual fuck?”

            “Will you take me home now?” Cas asked quietly.

            I swore, startled.  I hadn’t realized Cas had gotten up and was following me.  The Angel cocked an eyebrow at me, waiting for his answer, and I sighed.  “Not just yet.”

            Cas frowned.  “Why?  I want to go home!  It’s clear that this cabin isn’t ready for me to stay here, so why won’t you just take me home?”

            “Maybe because I don’t want to get shot in the head? Don’t even try to act like that’s not what Luc and company would do the moment they saw me!”

            Cas looked down.

            I sighed.  “Ok, Cas, I need you to do something for me.  Can you access your Project Samandriel files?”

            “Of course!  They’re all contained under heavy security protocols in my internal memory banks.”

            “Ok, that’s perfect.”  I took him by the hand and led him to sit on the couch.  “I need you to sit here and go through those files, try to figure out what happened.  Because I don’t think we came back to the point in time we were supposed to.  This isn’t the week we spent at the cabin, which means it’s either after we left, which I doubt because what you carved under the bed isn’t there, or before we got here.  Something went wrong.  So I need you to puzzle this out as much as you can, off-jack, while I try to figure out when, exactly, we actually are.”

            Cas nodded, and immediately his eyes went distant. Perfect.  That should keep Cas occupied, keep his mind off of going home for a while.  I still needed to figure out exactly how I was going to explain to Cas that I had no damned intention of ever letting him go back to Heaven, or anywhere near Angeli Quinque again.  Problem for another time.

            Right now, time itself was my biggest concern.

            I stepped away from him a bit and checked my phone.  It seemed to be functioning normally.  The date was listed as the day we’d jumped, the time the same, but while there was a strong signal, the words “No service” were present in the corner of the display. Well that wasn’t useful.  I thought for a moment and then switched my phone off.  I left it powered down for a minute, and then switched it back on.

            As my phone rebooted itself, I saw Cas getting up and heading towards the wall hiding the workstation, his wireless jack in his hand.  “Whoa, hold on, buddy!” I called, grabbing the Angel.  “You can’t go on the jack.”

            “Why not?”

            I carefully steered Cas back into the bedroom, uncovered the vanity mirror, and stood him in front of it.  Then I indicated Cas’s glowing eyes.  “That’s why.  You’re already charged up!  Here, look at me.”  I turned him slightly, switched my military optics into the Angeli Quinque enhancements, and scanned him.  Immediately, the numbers lit up my vision.  “You’re at eighty-five percent, Cas,” I reported.  “You’re not done unloading from being on the jack before!”

            His face was set in an adorable frown of confusion. “I don’t understand.  Before we went on the walk and then went to see Gabriel, my indicator was back on.  And after everything else that happened, I never made it back to the lab!  I should be completely cleared!”

            “Well, you’re anything but!  You need to unload your nervous system before you go back on the jack again, alright?”

            Cas seemed to wilt.  “You’re right.  Thank you, Dean.”

            “No problem, buddy.  Just stick with your internals for now.  And just to be sure, I’ll take your jack.  So you don’t forget.  Alright?”

            “Alright.  Dean, I can contact the other Angels, make sure you’re not harmed, but you have to take me home!  Please don’t steal me!”

            “Just worry about figuring out what happened for now, ok?”  I casually took his wireless jack and shoved it into my pocket, saying a silent prayer of thanks that Cas still had some charge, or the shit would have hit the fan when I had to force him away from the jack.  In retrospect, I didn’t remember Cas’s eyes glowing before.  In fact, I was sure they weren’t.  When I’d taken him for that walk, I’d had to stop him from going into his lab.  And with everything that happened after that, when would he have had time to get on the jack? Something was off.  I hadn’t scanned him when I’d held him on the roof, as I’d obviously had other things on my mind at the time (primarily finding the balls to actually make that jump), but I was positive his indicators were close to zero.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that so much of the project was in my angel’s head? In that case, we might have gotten lucky.  If utilizing Project Samandriel had popped Cas’s indicators from near zero to eighty-five percent, then would it have put my beautiful Angel into Overload if Cas had already been maxed?  Don’t think about that.  It didn’t matter.  Cas was fine, and it gave me an excuse to keep him off the jack for now.  I’d figure out how to explain that he couldn’t ever jack in to the Angeli Quinque network again later.  The moment Cas did that, they’d know exactly where he was and come flying in with guns blazing.  The only way to keep Cas safe was to keep him secret.  I got him through withdrawal from the jack once.  I could do it again.  And I’d do whatever it took to keep him safe.

            That brought up the obvious question.  How the hell could I hide an Angel?!  I would have remembered for sure hearing about it if there was an extra version of Angel Castiel running around loose.  But I’d heard nothing.  What did that mean?  Did this timeline’s Cas even exist?  Maybe, when we came here, the timeline adjusted by somehow removing the native versions of us?  Maybe that meant the current Cas had somehow vanished?  But if he had, wouldn’t that mean that literally the entire world would be up in arms searching for the missing Angel?

            Science shit gave me a headache.  There was a reason I was a bodyguard instead of a scientist.  Whatever. Worry about that later.  I still needed to figure out when I was.  I checked my phone and frowned at the “No Service” indicator still there.  What the hell?  I knew I’d paid the bill, and it wasn’t the end of a billing cycle.  Well, actually, I had no way to know that.  I’d always been diligent about paying my bills, but only God knew when we were right now.

            “I need to get back to Heaven!”

            Cas, appearing right in my personal space yet again, making me jump.  “Holy...! Ok, buddy, did you figure out what went wrong?”

            “Yes.  It seems my condition, combined with the gaps in my memory concerning the interface devices, combined to create a fairly significant chronological targeting issue. It appears I changed the target time for your wristband and, for whatever reason, failed to change it on mine. Mine remained at the original target date, meaning both wristbands were set for different dates.  That created a conflict when they were activated together, which means an unexpected issue that needs to be addressed as soon as possible.”

            “And the issue is?”

            “That the two dates canceled each other out. The end result is that there was no set date.  Therefore, we are not in the timeframe I believed we would end up.”

            “So, when are we?”

            “Best estimate?”

            “Please?”

            “Anywhere from two days to two centuries in the past.”

            I blinked.  “Um, no way to narrow that down?”

            “Of course there is!  I just need to get back to my lab.  Please take me back to Heaven.”

            I groaned.  “Cas...”

            “I don’t want to be here!” he exclaimed, making me feel as if he’d just stabbed me in the heart.  “I want to go home!  I understand your fear of being shot in the head, Dean, but I’m sure that if you just let me communicate with Lucifer, I can arrange for your safe passage to Purgatory or wherever else you wish once you return me unharmed.  After all, we are quite likely at a point in time well before they want you dead!”  He gave me a pleading look.  “Please, Dean, take me home!  Don’t steal me again!”

            I sighed.  “Cas, listen.  Do you remember why you came up with Project Samandriel in the first place?”

            “So I could correct a mistake!”

            “And?”

            The glowing eyes narrowed.  “What are you asking me?”

            “To be honest.”  I took Cas’s shoulders, looking him in the eye.  “You told me, when we first came out here, you wanted to get away from Angeli Quinque.  You wanted out, Cas!”

            Cas immediately pulled away.  “You’re saying that again!  I told you that I don’t want to be here, but it doesn’t matter, because you don’t have any intention of taking me home!  You’re still stealing me!  You’ve already stolen me, and now you won’t take me back!”

            I quickly caught him as he tried to turn and run and forced him to sit down on the couch.  “Nope, we’re not going through this again!  Look!”  I held Cas’s arm in front of his face, making sure the Angel got a good look at the wristband.  “This is yours.  Your design. For your project.  That you put on your wrist!  And you put one just like it on mine!  I didn’t steal you, Cas.  _You stole yourself!”_


	21. Chapter ??? - Lost In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes Castiel into town to try to get help and figure out when they are

            I needed to get out, find a way to contact my friends in Purgatory and tell them I’d succeeded.  They’d go apeshit once they realized I’d beaten all the odds and gotten Angel Castiel out of Heaven!  Once they knew, they’d drop everything to help us.  But to reach them, I needed to get to a public communications center.  From what I remembered, the closest one was in town, about a ten-mile hike, through a lonely road winding through the woods in the snow.  Terrific.  Doing that alone would have been a bitch and a half.  Doing it with my angel presented a whole new world of problems.

            At least he hadn’t kicked up too much of a fuss after last night.  He’d let me help him wash up a little, took off his trench coat, suit jacket, tie, and shoes, but refused to remove any more of his clothes.  It hurt a bit that he didn’t trust me, but who could blame him? Obviously, I still had some work to do before I earned his trust.  I didn’t push it.  All I had to do was show him there was nothing to fear from me.  Eventually, I was sure, he’d remember his real feelings for me.  Until then, I had to be patient.

            I got him tucked in, not caring for the scared look in his eyes just before I shut off his light.  Door opened, or closed?  I closed it.  It might help if I showed Castiel that I valued his privacy.  He had direct access to the bathroom, as well as my bedroom through another door.  But I didn’t stay in my bedroom.  Instead, I pulled the cushions off of the couch and settled down outside his door. Then I enhanced my audio so I’d hear it if he got up and started roaming around.  This was the door that led to the living room, and therefore the outside door.  I wanted to keep myself between him and that door.  He wasn’t going anywhere without me.

            As usual, Cas was up with the sun.  I’d only dozed through the night and snapped awake with the first creak of his bed when he climbed out of it.  Then I fixed the couch again, sat on it, and waited for him to come out.

            He didn’t say anything.  He eyed me, headed for the kitchen, and gave me a look when I had to tell him I didn’t have anything for him for breakfast and we’d have to get something in town.  Then he leaned against the wall and just stared at the floor, his face expressionless, waiting for whatever I might do.  The dull, empty look in his eyes made me feel cold.

            “We’re going to have to do some walking,” I told him. “But you’re not dressed for it. So I need to go over to the guard cabin and see if I can find you any more winter gear.  I need you to just wait here for me.  Will you do that?”

            No answer.  He simply looked at me.

            I steered him back to his bedroom, firmly instructed him to stay put, shut him in, and propped a chair under the door. Hopefully that would keep him in. I hated locking my angel up, but couldn’t take the chance he’d wander off and get lost.  Then I hightailed it to the guard cabin.  Now that the weather was clear, I could see that there were other cabins here, all similar in size and shape to the guard cabin.  There were also less trees.  In fact, very little about what I was seeing now was what I remembered.  Ok, that was seriously weird.  Just how far back had we gone?  Didn’t matter.  What mattered was finding proper winter gear for Cas.

            Breaking and entering was among the least of my sins, and soon I was in the guard cabin, going through the supply closets.  Empty, just furniture, a stove and fridge, and a heating unit.  I broke into the next cabin, and the next.  Finally, I hit the jackpot.  Between a couple of the cabins was a narrow supply shed, closed with an old-fashioned lock. One hasty picking later, and I was looking at a plethora of winter working supplies.  Among the shovels, bags of salt, and tools I found some outerwear, including work gloves and several pairs of wellies.  No coats.  Well, beggars couldn’t be choosers.  I picked out a couple of pairs of gloves and wellies that should fit us both, hesitated, and grabbed a length of rope.  I couldn’t imagine tying Cas up, but he didn’t trust me.  Better safe than sorry.  Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to use it, and it might come in handy for something else. I guiltily shoved it into my pocket and headed back to the cabin with my loot.

            Naturally, Cas had figured out he’d been locked in and was upset, but I didn’t have much time to apologize.  “We need to do some walking,” I explained, all but forcing the wellies onto Cas.  “I’m sorry, but it’s a long way.  And I’ve got to make sure you’re protected, so we gotta keep you under wraps!”

            “You mean you need to hide the fact that you’ve stolen me,” Cas grumbled.  “I may have made it possible, Dean, but you’re the one who has no intention of taking me back!”

            I looked up at him.  “Cas, we’re obviously not in our own time, alright?  There are buildings outside that don’t exist anymore! So that means that Luc never gave those Huis rebels a well-deserved ass beating.  And that means they could still be out there!  No, don’t go into a panic!” I called quickly, seeing Cas’s eyes widen in alarm.  “I’m here, and I’ll protect you.  But to do that, I’m going to need you to help me, ok?  You need to stay close to me.  We need to hide the fact you’re an Angel, and let me do the talking.  Can you do that?”

            Cas looked upset, but he nodded.  Good.  Wellies on, gloves on.  I’d been wearing a good company-issued winter coat that should be adequate, but Cas was only wearing his trench coat.  I pulled some dust covers and wrapped him up, draping them around him and using them to cover Cas’s head, especially his plate.  The rope I’d taken came in handy to fasten the cloths around his middle like a kind of belt.  My utility knife made some adjustments to another cover, creating a makeshift scarf. I wrapped it around Cas’s face and neck. His eyes, naturally, were no longer glowing, his indicators down to two percent when I checked, but the telltale electric glow around the rims of his irises was easy enough to hide with the sunglasses I had in my pocket.  There. Not much I could do about the slight gold of his skin tone, but at least now most of it was covered.  When I was finished, my angel looked a bit like a sheik, all wrapped up in long, flowing robes.  He’d no doubt draw some attention, but at least his appearance didn’t scream “ANGEL” to anyone who looked.  Best I could do.  I had replaced the Angeli Quinque backing on my veteran pin with the plain black enamel. I’d considered taking it off altogether, but no.  The instant I used my ID, even the fake one Charlie had made for me, I’d register as a veteran.  Best to just go with Plan A.  I was in enough trouble without getting into any more.

            Taking Cas by the hand, I started out.  I tried to let Cas set the pace and was rewarded with a brisk stroll.  Good. Taking Cas out for all those walks was really starting to pay off now.  He wasn’t even protesting my holding his hand, although he didn’t hold mine back.  But before long, Cas started to flag.  He just wasn’t built for physical endurance.  This was, quite possibly, the longest he’d ever walked.  Truth be told, I was feeling the effects myself. Pitfalls of being a bodyguard for a lab nerd.  When we got out of this, I told myself, I would start some endurance training.  But for now, I simply had to keep going.  I put an arm around Cas, letting my angel lean onto me a bit as we walked.  It seemed to help.  But Cas was walking with his head down.  He didn’t complain, though.  I was proud of him for that.

            When I first heard the noise, my initial instinct was to push Castiel behind myself and reach for my weapon.  Then I forced my hand away from it.  No.  The last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself.  I crowded Cas off the road, my eyes on the odd mechanical device coming closer.

            It was, when it came into view, an old-fashioned truck, complete with a malodorous combustion engine.  It belched clouds of poisonous fumes right into the atmosphere from its rear as it slowed, the operator bringing it to a stop in front of us. The glass window came down.  “Hi there!  You folks break down or something?  Can I offer you a ride into town?”

            I pasted on my smile, giving Cas’s hand a warning squeeze.  “Actually, we’d appreciate that.  We were trying to get into town so we could contact some friends.  Um, no offense, but is this vehicle safe?”

            The driver’s bearded face curved into a surprisingly-pleasant smile.  “This old piece of shit hasn’t killed me yet!  Hop in, son, get your wife there in out of the cold.  Excuse my language, ma’am, not used to being around a lady.”

            It took me a moment of confusion to realize the man was speaking of Castiel.  Well, now that I thought about it, the coverings I’d created for him could potentially resemble some sort of dress.  “Yes, sir!” I called before Cas’s gravely baritone could give anything away.  “I’ll get her in.  Much appreciated, sir.”  Perfect. If anyone asked this guy, he’d say he saw a man and a woman.  One less chance that we’d be tracked.

            I led Cas around to the other side of the vehicle and waved at it, making sure to access the false ID I’d gotten from my friends rather than my own.  Nothing happened.  That was odd. Charlie had designed that ID, and I’d never known her to be anything but spot-on with her work.  What was going on?  I waved again, frowning, and the door opened with a clunk and a squeak.  The driver was inside, his hand on the metal handle in the door, leaning across the seat.  “Did that damned handle freeze shut again?  Sorry about that, son, come on in.”

            “Um, yes, thank you.”  I considered a moment, climbed in, and pulled Cas in after.  Then, taking a cue from what I’d seen, I reached across and yanked the door shut.  Huh!  An actual mechanical door latch!  I hadn’t seen one of those in years.  Well, that was convenient.  I trusted Charlie’s work, but the less any of my IDs popped up for Gabe to spot, the better.

            The driver was busy fiddling with a dial on the dashboard.  “You two mind a little music?  I find...” The man looked up, cocking an eyebrow at us.  “Um, is everything alright?”

            We had instinctively raised our arms, waiting for the vehicle’s safety harness to snap into place.  I belatedly realized that this ancient vehicle might have no such mechanism and quickly lowered my arms, pushing Cas’s down as well.  “Heh, sorry, sir.  Not used to one of these vehicles.  Um, may I ask, how do you operate the safety restraints?”

            His expression was perfectly neutral, but I didn’t miss the way his eyes studied me.  “Seatbelt’s just behind your right shoulder, ma’am.  You’ve just got a lap belt, son.  Should be under your rear.”

            “Yes, sir, thank you!”  A bit of fumbling later, I had both myself and Cas secured in the dubious restraints.  I couldn’t see much of Cas’s face, but his brows were definitely furled.  Cas didn’t feel any more comfortable with the completely inadequate safety devices than I did.  I had already suspected that this vehicle wasn’t legal for the road.  Now I was sure.  Didn’t care, so long as it got us to town.  It’s not like I was in any position to complain about legality anyway. I put my arm protectively around Cas and held him close to my side.  Best I could do.  Cas stayed quiet, although I saw his gloved hand clutching at the arm rest on the door.

            The driver didn’t say a word.  Soft music filled the vehicle.  I was pleased to realize it was late twentieth century pop and felt Cas relax a bit next to me as the driver got the ancient device moving. Then we were rolling down the road. “Can’t help but notice the way you punctuate your speech with ‘sir.’  You in the military, son?”

            Uh oh.  My scarf must have fallen over my pin again.  I adjusted it, making sure the driver got a look at my black-out backing. “Yes, sir.  I was in the army, special forces.  But it’s alright, I’m blacked out.”  I braced, ready to get out of the car without a fuss if he took issue.

            “Good for you!  I was a marine, myself.”

            I blinked in surprise, noting a complete lack of a veteran’s pin on his collar.  Then I laughed despite myself.  How lucky could I get?  Another vet, and one I could relate to!  Well, that explained his vehicle, at any rate.  If he was thumbing his nose in the face of the veteran laws, what was an illegal vehicle?  I smiled. “My father was a marine.”

            “Good man!  What do you two do for a living now, if you don’t mind me being nosey?”

            “I’m in personal security, sir, and my wife’s in technology, research and development.”  That seemed safe enough.

            “Ah!  Well, good for you both.  I own a salvage yard myself.  Just me there now, since the wife passed.”

            “Sorry, sir.”

            “Much obliged.  Thing is, I have a wrecker, and I’m happy to cut you a decent deal if you need me to pick up your vehicle?”

            “Appreciate it, sir, but it’s not necessary.”  I was thinking fast.  “Once I get a hold of our friends, they’ll make sure everything’s taken care of.  I do appreciate the offer, though.”

            “Sure.  Whereabouts did you kids end up, anyway?  I’ll admit my memory’s not as sharp as it once was, but I don’t remember seeing a disabled vehicle on the road?”

            “Not far.”  I looked ahead and brightened, seeing the town ahead.  “You can just drop us off at the edge of town, sir, no need to go out of your way.”

            “It’s no problem at all.  I’m going into town anyway.  Any place in particular you need to go?”

            “Just the nearest coms center, to make that call.”

            The driver gave me an odd look.  “Coms center?  This place got a name?”

            “Any one of them will do.  There, a Biggerson’s, that’s perfect!”

            That earned me another odd look.  But the driver didn’t say anything.  He obediently stopped in front of the Biggerson’s, letting his passengers out and smiling in response to my thanks.

            I looked around.  The parking lot was filled with ancient vehicles, all of which had internal combustion engines, few of which looked legal.  My kind of town.  Apparently, Angeli Quinque hadn’t done much for this remote location yet.  Odd, I didn’t remember the town being this backwards. We must be further back in time than I’d thought.  The air was thick with the horrible fumes.  Cas was already coughing.  Not good. I quickly put an arm around him and got him into the Biggerson’s.

            The smell of the food made my stomach rumble. “I’m hungry, Dean,” Cas said quietly next to me.

            I nodded.  “Alright.  Why don’t you go order, and I’ll get a hold of Benny?”

            “So you can take me to Purgatory?”  Even behind the sunglasses, those blue eyes were pleading with me.  “Dean, please, don’t do this!  Don’t steal me, just take me back to Heaven!”

            Shit.  I couldn’t have him make a fuss, not here.  I quickly put an arm around him, turned him away from the patrons and staff. “We’ll talk about it, but not here, alright?  Remember what I told you?  To keep you safe, I have to keep you secret!  Now please, just go order.”

            Cas drooped, nodded sadly, and moved to the counter.  I looked around, frowning.  Every Biggerson’s I’d ever been in was exactly the same, but the familiar Angeli Quinqui sign for the coms center wasn’t in its usual place.  That was weird.  Where the hell was it?  Did they have it recessed?  That didn’t make much sense, but not much about this backwater town did.

            “Dean?”

            Cas was at the counter, waiting for me to order and pay.  I jogged over, gave the worker my best grin, and ordered the breakfast special.  She blushed, batted her eyes, and apparently gave me a nice discount for being cute because the total was pretty damned sweet. The chip reader was weird, though. No matter.  I put my hand on it, let it scan my fake ID.

            Almost immediately, her register started alarming. Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “Stupid piece of junk!  That’s the third time it’s acted up this week. Here, let’s go to the other register and I’ll just enter your total.”

            “Yes ma’am!”  I put my hand on the new scanner.

            Once again, the alarms started sounding.  I frowned, peering over the counter to look at the screen, and saw a series of indecipherable symbols flashing across. “That’s weird,” I muttered.  I switched my optics into the Angeli Quinque diagnostics and took a look.

            The girl immediately started screaming.  I had Cas behind me in an instant, switching over to full combat optics, looking around for the source of danger.  She started screaming even louder, multiple other patrons joining in with her.  But I could see no sign of any danger.  All I saw were wide, shocked eyes and pointing fingers in my direction. Shit!  I looked behind me, wondering what Cas had done?  Cas only looked back at me, confused.  He hadn’t even raised his Angel armor.  I looked at the woman at the register.  “Why are you screaming?”

            “Your eyes!”  Her finger was pointing not at Cas, but at me.  “They’re glowing green!”

            Oh shit.  “Um, yes ma’am,” I said, moving my scarf and indicating my pin as I switched back to normal vision.  “I’m a veteran.  What you were seeing?  Those are my optical implants.”

            She gasped.  “You have bionic eyes from being in the service?!” she squeaked.

            I wasn’t sure what “bionic” was, but I guessed the context.  “Yes, ma’am, they’re mechanical implants from the United States Army, Special Forces. Sorry if that’s a problem.”

            I kept Cas behind me, bracing for a fight. But the mood in the restaurant had suddenly changed.  To my surprise, the girl was flushing, apologizing profusely.  The manager was there as well, apologizing right along with her.  They were honored to have a veteran among them, and didn’t the government have some wonderful things for us when we got injured?  Our breakfast was on the house.  Multiple people patted my arm or my shoulder, thanking me for my service. And two guys actually got up, offering me their table.

            Yeah, whenever we were, this was a seriously weird time.  By now it was painfully clear we’d gone far further back into the past than I’d thought. I spotted someone else’s receipt on the floor and casually snagged it up under the guise of throwing it out.  The date nearly made me fall over.  “Cas?” I murmured.  “We’re in 2018!”

            He’d pushed the cloths away from his face to eat, and I saw him frown.  “That means we’re seventy years in the past.  That is going to present some problems.”

            Oh yes.  It was absolutely going to present some serious, serious problems.


	22. Chapter Past - The New Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trapped 70 years in the past and with Castiel going into withdrawal, Dean's got a problem on his hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update for a few days while we spend the Thanksgiving holiday with our families. Happy Thanksgiving!

            By the time we finished eating and left the Biggerson’s, my heart was pounding.  I held Cas’s hand and stepped out into the cold, realizing I had no idea where we were going.  Cas was near panic.  He was pale, his breathing quick.  I got behind him, wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.  “It’s ok,” I soothed.

            “It’s not!” he hiccupped.  “I need to go home, Dean, but Heaven doesn’t even exist yet!”

            “Cas, calm down.  Breathe with me.  Don’t go into a panic attack now, angel, we’re safe!  I’ll take care of you, I swear!”

            I could feel him responding to me.  His hands clung to my arms around him, his breathing eased out in time with mine.  I could feel him shaking.  My angel was already jittery, starting to feel the effects of being off the jack. No wonder he wanted to go home so badly. But of course, in this time, the Angel jacks didn’t exist yet.  Now he had no choice but to detox!  Good. The knowledge that Cas would never go on a jack again made me smile.  We were trapped in a time long before either one of us was born.  No one would come looking for Cas because it was decades before the Angels were even created.  And for the first time in my life, it seemed my status as a veteran was actually an advantage!  Overall, I considered us to be in far better shape than I’d anticipated when I’d first made that jump.

            Now that he’d calmed a bit, I took Cas’s hand and we started walking, heading down the sidewalk towards the rest of the town. I considered my options.  Cas was walking with his head down again, looking absolutely lost as he held onto my hand, depending on me completely to guide and protect him.  That was a little sobering, considering our circumstances.  I wished I’d paid more attention to history classes in school. They had internet in this time, right? Obviously, ocular implants weren’t something they had, at least not widely used, but technology was advanced enough that these people were willing to believe they existed.  They couldn’t know that the one who’d perfected the military version and invented the Angeli Quinque upgrades in my eyes was the beautiful man at my side, decades from now.

            “Where are we going?”  Cas’s voice was barely a whisper.

            Of course he’d ask that.  I tightened my hand on his.  “Let’s just keep walking, alright?  Don’t worry.  I’ll figure something out.”

            Just like that he nodded.  He’d taken off his sunglasses and those blue eyes of his were somewhat glazed.  He was feeling the withdrawal for sure.  I needed to get him somewhere safe and warm, keep him calm, and get him through it. But where could I go?  The debacle with the credit chip reader illustrated why I couldn’t access any of my funds.  Ironic.  Working as a bodyguard for Angel Castiel was the top of the heap so far as salary in my profession.  Now that I’d passed my probation and gotten my salary bump and bonus, for the first time in my life I was rolling in money.  And when I needed it the most, I couldn’t access any of it.

            Quick inventory.  I had my phaser, my utility knife, the pair of sunglasses I’d given Cas, my cell phone, the wristband from Project Samandriel, the gold pin with the black enamel backing that identified me as a blacked-out veteran, my gold Angeli Quinque backing that announced the same as well as my employment status, half a pack of chewing gum and a packet of kleenex in my pockets, the wireless jack, the winter gear I’d stolen and the company-issued coat and suit on my back. Cas had on his suit, tie, and trench coat underneath the stolen wellies and gloves and the cloths I’d wrapped him with. A quick check of my angel’s pockets produced two different pocket toolkits, a fancy titanium, gold, and amber comb he’d misplaced God knows when, parts of the electric razor that asshole Bartholomew let him tear apart, multiple bits of paper with indecipherable figures and formulas scribbled on them in various writing media, a lighter that I immediately confiscated, a set of diamond cuff links with a matching diamond tie tack, and his wristband.  Not promising.  I took one of the toolkits, just because there were two and you never knew when it might come in handy.  The jewelry and the comb were possibilities for a little income, although I had no idea what value, if any, the materials had in this time period and would likely get fleeced.  If I was on my own, I had enough survivalist skills from my time in the service that I could have survived, but Cas needed more than a dug-out cave.

            The truth was, I had no idea what to do.  But we were free.  I’d accomplished the impossible and stolen an Angel from Angeli Quinque, right from the roof of the Heaven building in front of the other four. Take that, assholes!  Exhilaration brought a wide, goofy grin to my face. This was a time when no one knew what an Angel was and veterans were actually respected!  And best of all, from this point on, no matter what, we were free.  Free. We could have that life together we’d talked about.

            My mind swam with the possibilities.  Once I found us a safe place and got us settled in, I wanted to marry Cas right away.  Same-sex marriage had become legal somewhere around this time, I was sure of it. If it wasn’t now, I could wait. I’d marry my angel, make him Castiel Winchester.  Just thinking about that made me shiver.  I’d find work somewhere.  Cas could get a job if he wanted, probably something techie.  He'd have to lay off the inventions, of course.  If Cas started in on his incredible inventions, we’d be rich in no time, but we couldn’t draw too much attention to him. He’d have to keep things small and under wraps.  Didn’t matter.  Cas could do whatever he wanted.  I’d support us both if I had to.  I’d managed as a kid, taking care of Sammy when dad was out and we ran out of cash. I’d manage now.

            I still needed to figure out a way to explain Cas’s cybernetic enhancements.  I would never claim he’d been in the military.  Even if Cas had any sort of military bearing at all, I’d never stand for anyone claiming veteran status who hadn’t actually served.  Not that anyone would.  It was strictly the domain of the lower class, those of us who didn’t have the money, connections, or brains to get a “real” job and buy ourselves out of the draft.  It’s why the upper echelon, douchebags like Naomi Shurley, tended to look down on veterans, forgetting that, willing or not, we were the ones responsible for protecting their entitled asses.  No, the military was out.  Accident? It would have to do.  Cas’s bearing and his manner of speaking pretty much screamed “upper class.”  It wouldn’t be hard to believe that he had the connections to get himself some expensive medical implants.  I’d have to somehow talk Cas into letting me buff off the words engraved in his plate, of course.  That engraving was the primary reason idiots thought the Angeli Quinque Angels were robots. I had little doubt it would be the same here and now.  So the engraving had to go.  That made the plan as follows: Find a safe place, buff off Cas’s engraving, marry him, get a job, settle down and live out the rest of our lives in peace and happiness.

            Great plan.  Now I just had to solve the problem of what to do right here and now. We were still walking, heading out of the business district of the town now and moving into the residential areas.  Maybe I could find an empty house, break in, and keep Cas there until he finished going through the worst of the withdrawal?  Whatever I did, I was going to have to do it, soon.  I could hear Cas’s teeth chatter, and didn’t believe for one minute it was from the cold.  My angel was starting to suffer.  I had to get him somewhere safe!

            A familiar truck pulled up to the curb next to us, the bearded driver leaning out the window.  “Why don’t you boys get back in the truck?” he said quietly.  “Not to spook you or anything, but I just came from that Biggerson’s and I heard what happened.  That, combined with a few other things, got me thinking that you haven’t been exactly honest with me, son.”

            “No, sir,” I admitted, letting go of Cas’s hand in favor of putting my arm protectively around his shoulders and holding him against me.  “I haven’t. But there’s a reason I wasn’t honest. But we mean no harm.  I’m just trying to take care of him, alright?”

            “I got that impression.  Now, I don’t know what’s going on.  But we all know you need some help.  So why don’t you both get back in this truck, come back to my place with me, and let’s see if I can’t help you?”

            I don’t know what it was that made me trust him. Maybe it was just that I literally had no other choice.  But whatever the reason, Cas and I were back in the truck, heading down the road to destinations unknown.  I had my right arm around Cas’s shoulders, and held his hand with my left, not liking the way he was still shivering despite the warmth of the truck.

            “Name’s Bobby Singer,” the man offered.

            I nodded.  “Dean and Castiel Winchester.”  I expected Cas to startle at that, but he didn’t react.

            “Pleasure.  Castiel, was it?  Sorry about earlier, mistaking you for a lady.  Didn’t mean to offend you.”

            Cas once again didn’t respond, but I frowned in confusion.  “Why the hell would that be offensive?”

            Singer laughed.  “Why indeed?  Well then, do you mind if I ask if you boys are married?”

            “Yes, sir,” I lied, giving Cas’s a little squeeze. “Fairly recently, too.”  Cas’s complete lack of response was starting to alarm me, but he still didn’t react.

            “Well, congratulations!  Now, let me explain a few things.  It’s pretty damned obvious you two aren’t from around here.  I haven’t quite figured you out, but I get the impression you’re in some sort of trouble.  Why isn’t my business.  Now, I like to flatter myself that I have a fairly good instinct for people.  My gut tells me you two need help, and that you’re decent enough sorts that I won’t have to worry about you cracking me over the head and robbing me blind.  That true?”

            “We’re no threat to you as long as you’re not a threat to us,” I said evasively.

            “Good enough.  You on the run from the law?”

            “No, sir.  We’re not actually on the run from anyone.  We’re just, well, lost.”

            Singer looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.  “You need a place to stay?”

            “I couldn’t ask for anything long-term,” I said, choosing my words, “but my husband?  He’s sick.  If you could help us out for a day or so, just long enough that I can get Cas back on his feet, I’ll find a way to make it up for you.  I’m in security, or I’m a decent mechanic...”

            Singer lit up like the sun.  “Mechanic?  Now we’re talking!  You know your way around a car engine, boy?”

            I smiled.  “Actually, yes!  I worked with electric, hybrid, and even the occasional internal combustion engine as a kid, and I wasn’t half bad at it.”  That was before Angeli Quinque’s safe, reliable, and pollution-free hover vehicles took the world by storm, and internal combustion engines went completely out of production.  Now the only options outside of the AQ Hovercars were hybrids, full electrics, or cheap knock-off hovercars that were usually more trouble than they were worth. Yet another way my angel changed the world.  Of course, I was damned good with those, too.  The way I’d beefed up Benny’s car was proof positive of that.  We’d left Heaven with a dozen assholes chasing us, and my boosters had left them all in the dust.

            Next to me, I felt Cas shudder and looked over in alarm.  My angel doubled over with a groan.  One hand clutched at the dash board, the other held tight to my hand.  He’d started to shake in earnest.  “Shit, hang on, angel,” I soothed, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him against me.  “I’ll take care of you, get you through this.”

            He whimpered and clung to me.  “What’s happening to me?”

            “It’s withdrawal.  It’s alright.  I’m right here!  I got you through it before, Cas, and I can do it again.”

            Singer made a small noise of sympathy. “Addiction’s an awful thing. Opioids?”

            “Something like that.”

            “Balls! Hold tight, Castiel.  We’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

            Apparently, the ancient truck was in better shape than it looked.  True to his word, ten minutes later, Singer was pulling up to a dilapidated house in the middle of a junk yard, passing under a sign reading “Singer’s Salvage Yard.” Singer was out of the truck as soon as the engine was off, jogging around to help Cas.  My angel was in need of assistance.  He was shaking badly now as he accepted Singer’s help.  Once I was out of the truck, I got an arm around Cas, and Singer and I helped him into the house.  “Spare bedroom’s up the steps, bathroom’s right across the hall,” Singer informed me as we headed towards the stairs.  “I keep it made up, just in case.  Bed’s a double, should be fine for you boys.”

            “Thank you, sir.”  I tried not to think about sleeping in the same bed as Cas.  I had no idea if he was ready for that. Somehow, I doubted it.  Cross that bridge later.

            My angel was clinging to me, leaning his head against my shoulder.  He didn’t say a word, just held on so tight he’d likely leave marks and shivered.  Warning bells were going off in my head. Something was wrong with him, something more than the withdrawal from the jack.  I didn’t like how quiet and withdrawn Cas had become.  His blue eyes seemed miles away, like he was barely registering what was happening around him.  We got him upstairs, sat him on the bed, and I started pulling off the cloths.

            Behind me, I heard Singer gasp, and realized my mistake.  I’d just pulled the cloth off of Cas’s head, revealing his plate.  Singer’s eyes were fixed on it, moving over the writing.  I froze.

            “You need any more help with him, son?” was all he said.

            “No, sir, I can handle things from here.”

            “You can just call me Bobby.  Everyone else does.  I’ll head downstairs.  You need anything, you just call.”

            I relaxed.  “Thank you, sir.  Bobby. And I’m Dean.  Let me get Cas taken care of, and I’ll come talk to you. I’m sure you’ve got questions.”

            “Not gonna poke too much in your business, Dean. But if you need an ear, I got two good ones.”  And that was it.  He headed down the stairs without another word.

            I quickly finished getting Cas unwrapped, pulled off his Wellies, shoes, and gloves, and got him out of his trench coat, tie, and suit jacket.  Remembering how he’d been last night, I didn’t push him for more.  I just got him into the bed and covered him up.

            Cas immediately curled into a ball beneath the blankets.  He was still shivering.  I hovered, my hand on his shoulder.  “Cas? You’re addicted to being on the jack, buddy.  What you’re feeling is withdrawal.  But it will pass, ok?”

            No answer.  He stared off into space and shivered.  I leaned down closer.  “Cas? Last time, it helped you a lot when I held you, let you lie on my chest.  You said that made you feel safe.  Do you want...?”

            “Please leave me alone.”  His voice was only a whisper, and his eyes seemed to stare right through me.

            “Alright.”  I forced my voice to be neutral, to not show him how much that hurt.  “I’m going to go downstairs, then, talk to Bobby.  I’ve got some explaining to do.  But I’ll keep checking on you.  And if you need anything, you call me.  Alright?”

            No answer.  I scanned him, saw the same kind of changes in his readings that he’d had back at the cabin.  But there was more going on, an alarming drop in his processor use, like his mind was simply shutting down.  Not good, but what could I do?  I never thought I’d miss Naomi Shurley, but I did now.  My angel needed a handler badly, and they didn’t exist yet.  No way was I going to let a doctor from 2018 anywhere near him!  And that meant it was up to me.  Stay calm, Winchester.  Last time he withdrew from the jack, all he really needed was time.  Let him be, and in a day or so, he’ll be alright.  Until, then, though, I knew my angel was in for a rough time.  I fought back the urge to climb in behind Cas and hold him anyway until the awful shivering disappeared and he was snuggling against me, the way he’d done at the cabin. But my angel had clearly had enough. He needed space, and I needed to give it to him.  I kept my emotions in check and my hands to myself, left his door open a crack so I could hear him if he called, and went downstairs.

            Singer acknowledged my arrival with a nod.  “He settled in?”

            “Yeah, for now.”  I shoved my hands in my pockets and hunched a bit.  “You must have a million questions.”

            “Well Dean, I don’t like to pry.  But I think there are a few questions that I’ve gotta ask you now.”

            “I know, and you’ve got a right to know.  So go ahead and ask.”

            Bobby poured himself a cup of coffee, poured a second for me, and handed it over.  “How long do you think you boys will need to stay?”

            I hadn’t seen that question coming.  I shook my head.  “I don’t know.  Until he’s better, at least.  But I’ll earn my keep, sir.  I can do mechanic work or security, do chores around the house, whatever you want.”

            “I may just take you up on that one,” Bobby mused. “Since that idjit Dave screwed up and got his dumb ass fired last week, I’ve been pretty shorthanded in the garage. If you know your way around an engine, I’ll put you to work.  But that’s contingent on one thing.”

            “And that is?”

            “That you play it straight with me, Dean.” Bobby looked serious.  “That you tell me the truth, soldier to soldier.”

            I nodded, straightening.  “I’d already planned on that.  I’ve got no one else to turn to, so ask me whatever you want to know.”

            He hummed and took a drink from his coffee. “Castiel.  He’s a robot?”

            “Cyborg,” I confessed.  “I used to work for his company as his bodyguard.”

            He gestured, indicating my company-issued suit. “That’s why you’ve got the fancy threads?”

            “Yes, sir.”

            Bobby took another drink.  “You steal him from that company, Dean?”

            “Yeah.”  I held my coffee and stared at the floor.  “And I’m in deep shit if I get caught.”

            “I’ll bet!  So when you said you were married, that was a lie?”

            “Yes, sir.  I’d love to change that, though, make it real.”

            He gave a grunt.  “Is he, what’s the word, sentient enough to make his own decisions?”

            “He’s a human being, ok?” I snapped.  “He’s got a computer behind that plate in his head that acts as most of his brain, but he’s still human!”

            “Calm down, Dean.  All I want to know is if he can make his own decisions?”

            I took a deep breath.  “Yeah.”

            “And did he decide he wanted to come with you, or did you kidnap him?”

            The floor was suddenly so fascinating that it held my complete attention.  “That’s complicated,” I mumbled.

            “I don’t think it is, Dean.  You said you two weren’t wanted by the law, but you just admitted you stole Castiel away from that company.  And then there’s the way you both act.  You obviously care a lot about Castiel, but I have to tell you, I’m a bit concerned.  Did you hurt that boy, Dean?”

            “What?!  No, of course not!  Why the hell would you think that?!”

            “Because he’s scared.  He acts like he’s just waiting for someone to hurt him.  And he’s got a bruise on his wrist.  I noticed that in the car, when he reached forward and his arm stuck out of his sleeve a bit.  There’s a hand shaped bruise on that boy’s wrist, Dean, that looks like someone was either dragging him around or holding him down.  And I’m betting, if I checked, it would match up pretty damned close to your hand.”  Bobby casually sipped his coffee, but his eyes never left my face.

            I grimaced.  “I pinned him down yesterday, because he went into a panic attack and I was trying to keep him from hurting himself,” I confessed.  “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but that doesn’t matter.  I shouldn’t have done it.  I just didn’t know what else to do!  He’s got a condition...”

            That earned me a snort of derision.  “A condition?!  It’s like he’s scared to death of everything around him!  Even when he’s clinging to you, it doesn’t seem like it’s affectionate.  He’s just flat-out terrified!”  Bobby leaned forward, his expression stern.  “Is there a reason he’s afraid, Dean?”

            “I’m not hurting him, Bobby, I swear it!  It’s just that Cas has been through a lot.  Where we came from?  He’s this amazing inventor!  The things that have come out of his lab, Bobby, I could not even begin to describe!”

            “And that’s why you took him?”

            “No.  I took him because I’m in love with him.  And because he asked me to.  He just doesn’t remember it, and I don’t know why!”

            “Alright.  Sit right there, Dean, drink your coffee, and tell me the story.”

            I groaned.  “Where do I even start?”

            “Why don’t you start with what you were doing walking along the side of that road, and go backwards from there?”

            And then the whole story came pouring out in reverse.  I told him everything, from the night I’d jumped off the roof with Cas to the day I’d first come to Angeli Quinque and been assigned as his bodyguard.  And I held nothing back, confessing how I felt about him, the mistakes I’d made, all of it.  Bobby listened, occasionally asking questions to clarify this or that point. When I finished, he sat back with a frown, processing what he’d heard.  We’d both gone through two cups of coffee at this point and I headed into the kitchen for a third.  Bobby came to join me.  “It’s crazy,” he announced.  “But I believe you, Dean.  I’m just not sure what to tell you.  Even if Castiel wanted you to get him out, flat-out asked you to before?  If he doesn’t remember that now, you must have scared the living daylights out of him when you jumped off that roof!”

            “He wasn’t the only one!”

            “And it was a hell of a brave thing to do.  He told you he had more to do with his time machine when he was at the cabin with you?  How the hell did you know he’d managed it?”

            “I didn’t,” I admitted.  “I just trusted him.”

            “Balls!”  Bobby let me fill his cup and sipped at it.  “Talk about a leap of faith!  If that don’t prove you love him, nothing will.”

            “I hope something does,” I mumbled. “Because right now, he doesn’t even want me to touch him!”

            “I will tell you that you will not ever put your hands on that boy hard enough to leave marks again, not unless you want to find yourself out in the cold with shotgun pellets in your ass!” Bobby announced. “But honestly, I get the feeling that won’t be a problem.”

            “No sir.  I’ll never hurt him again!  I just don’t know what to do!  I was trying so hard to save him, but I just made a huge mess of everything!”  I looked pleadingly at Bobby.  “I fucked up, Bobby, big time!  How the hell do I ever get him to trust me again?!”

            “Give him time,” Bobby suggested.  “In his eyes, you just kidnapped him!  That boy doesn’t remember what the two of you meant to each other, but he obviously does remember being dangled off of the roof of a building by a lunatic who then jumped with him!  Not trying to get on your shit, so don’t get your panties in a twist, Dean.  Just stating the facts.  That’s his point of view!  And now he’s stuck with you, because you’re the only one in the entire world who understands what he is.  Nothing else is familiar.”

            A bell went off in my head.  “Nothing else is familiar!  Shit!  That’s what’s wrong with him!  His condition, he can’t handle big changes in his life, and now absolutely nothing is familiar except me, and I scare the shit out of him!  Dammit, Bobby, he’s going to go catatonic again!”

            I raced up the stairs to my angel.  Just as I feared, Cas was lying in the exact same position as I’d left him, his eyes staring blankly into space even as his body shook and trembled.  “Shit. Shit!  Cas, come back to me angel, please!”

            No response.  It was just as I feared.  Other than the tremors, Cas was like a limp noodle as I gathered him up, holding him against my chest.  I rocked him. “Come on, angel.  It’s alright, I swear it!  I won’t let anyone hurt you!”

            “Dean?  Why don’t you let me see what I can do with him?”

            My shoulders immediately hunched.  “I’ve dealt with him before, Bobby.  I can handle it.”

            “He wasn’t afraid of you before,” Bobby pointed out.  “But now, you’re part of the problem.  Let me have a try.”

            “Thanks, but no thanks.  I can...”

            “Dean?”  Bobby didn’t raise his voice, but the steel in it quieted me all the same.  “It looks like the two of you are planning on staying here for a while, so how about you make good on your word?  I’ve got two cars in that garage attached to the house that need attention.  Just go through the door in the kitchen.  The tools are out there in the boxes, keys are hanging next to the door on your way out.” He indicated my suit.  “Change out of them fancy threads and into one of the coveralls in the closet over there first, would ya?  I ain’t payin’ for your dry cleaning!”


	23. Chapter Past - Enhancements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean explains his situation to Bobby, and why veterans are looked down on in 2088

            I don’t know why I went.  But I spent the next two hours in the garage.  I kept the door open and amped up my hearing so I could hear if Cas made any sound.  But all I heard was the soft rumble of Bobby’s voice, and then music. Music!  Cas had told me it was how Samandriel used to bring him down out of overload, and I’d already seen it working in Bobby’s truck.  Apparently, Bobby had, as well.  Why the hell didn’t I think of that?

            When I finally heard that floorboard creak, I was up like a shot, racing into the house and halfway up the stairs.  Bobby was on his way down, blinking in surprise. “What’s wrong?!” I blurted, already starting past him.

            Bobby smoothly moved to block my path. “Nothing.  Those shakes are pretty bad, but it seems he’s over the worst of ‘em. Leave him alone.  I was going to make us all some lunch.  Go back to work, Dean, I’ll bring you something.”

            “But he’ll wander off!  You have to watch him, he’ll...”

            “Dean?  Go back to work.”

            I meekly went back to the garage.  Bobby came in a bit later with a tray of soup and sandwiches and set it down.  Then he turned and stared pointedly at the mess I’d made of parts all over his garage. “You sure you know what you’re doing, boy?”

            “Yes, sir.  Just about finished with this one.”  To prove it, I quickly gathered up the parts and re-assembled the mess.  I switched to my diagnostics, adjusted a bit of wiring, and nodded, satisfied.  Then I climbed into the car, turned on the ignition, and smiled when it started.

            “Balls!”  Bobby looked astonished.  He sat down on a nearby stool with a thump.  “I don’t know what surprises me more, that you got that piece of shit to start, or how I just saw you do it!  You just hefted those engine parts around like they weighed no more than a feather, and the way your eyes just glowed?  You’re a cyborg, too, aren’t ya, Dean?”

            I nodded.  “Yes, sir, I’m cybernetically enhanced.  In my time, every veteran is.”  I indicated my body.  “They implanted processors into my brain, amped up my reflexes, dulled my response to pain.  Then there’s the enhancements.  Optical and aural enhancements, joint supports, spinal reinforcements and brain and nerve splicing from the military.  They upgraded me to the more advanced versions when I joined the special forces, including more processors, bone reinforcement, muscle and tendon enhancements, my targeting systems, and wireless data processing linked through my senses so I can read data chips with a touch or scan coding on missions.  Then I got even more upgrades to my optics so I could work with the Angels.  The basic setting on the latter’s useful for diagnostics on electronic equipment.”

            “That why your eyes were glowing?”

            “Yes, sir.”

            “And all that other shit they did to you, your muscles and bones?  That’s what makes you so strong?”

            “Yes, sir,” I sighed.  “I’m stronger than standard humans, and faster and more accurate than regular army.  It’s advanced military tech, special forces issue.”

            “So you can see what the problem is in the electronics, and you’re strong enough to lift the heavy shit?”

            “Yes, sir.”  I slumped.  “Not much about me’s all mine anymore.  That’s why the last thing I want is more enhancements.  I’m already so full of hardware, I’m almost as cybernetic as Cas!” I peered behind him.  “Is he alright?  He’s still like he was?”

            “He’s sitting up eating.”

            That floored me.  “He is?!”

            Bobby nodded.  “He just needed to feel safe, Dean.  That’s why he doesn’t react well to changes, because he doesn’t feel safe. I saw it a lot in the war.  Back then we used to call it ‘Shell Shock.’ Nowadays, they call it ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.’  Label doesn’t matter.  At its heart, you got someone who went through something traumatic and, at some level, is still trapped back in that traumatic moment.  He’s terrified to go through it again.  Castiel’s shutting down the way he is when things change too much around him because he needs the stability of his familiar environment to feel safe.  But since his environment won’t come around for a while, the only thing I could do was try to make him feel safe in this environment.”

            “How?”

            “All I did was talk to him a little, play him some music like I saw him relax to in the truck, and let him see for himself that nothing was going to hurt him.”  Bobby glanced towards the house.  “He’s still scared, of course.  And the withdrawal shit isn’t helping him one damned bit.  He’s shaking pretty badly.  I put his soup in a cup for him because I don’t know that he can handle a spoon right now, but he was doing alright with his sandwich.  Still won’t talk.”

            “You’re amazing,” I sighed, trying not to feel irrationally jealous.  Cas was doing better.  Who cared that it wasn’t me who had helped him?

            Bobby indicated the second car.  “Now I have to wonder what you can do with that one?”

            “The Impala?  Oh, I’m already done with that one, I started with her.”

            He stared at me.  “Boy, that rustbucket has been here for sixteen months, and I couldn’t do shit with it!  I’d planned to start junking it today!”

            “Don’t.  This baby’s still got some promise.”  I walked over, climbed into the rusty black Impala, and started it.  It started right up.

            Bobby was shaking his head as I turned the car off and returned to him.  “Dean, I sent you out here to keep you busy.  These two cars, I brought ‘em in here intending to tear them down for parts. Then a cyborg mechanic comes along, and they’re both running!  Is everyone in your time, how did you put it, cybernetically enhanced?”

            I shook my head.  “Most everyone has a chip in their heads we get shortly after birth for ID and money transactions, but it ends there.  To work with the Angels, you need the diagnostic optics.  The optics let you see and interact with the holograms they use in their work without the use of projectors, if they share ‘em. But the biggest reason you get them is because of the high setting, so you can check them over for damage, make sure they’re not hurt if something happens.  And of course, they let you see how much processor use they’ve got left, how close their nervous systems are to maximum load.  It’s everyone’s responsibility to try to keep them from overloading, or at least that’s what they tell us.  But their building’s designed to indicate if they’re close to their limit and sounds an alert any time one of them overloads, so that’s kind of redundant unless they’re in the field.  Anyway, most people want nothing to do with cybernetic enhancements, and don’t trust those of us who have ‘em.”  I sighed. “God knows, I’d love to get rid of mine!”

            Bobby looked surprised.  “Why’s that?  You don’t like being a cyborg, with all you can do?”

            Now I hesitated to answer.  “I’m not an expert on history,” I began, “but I think it was around this time that fingerprint and face scans became common, right?  For everything from punching a clock at work to unlocking cell phones?  Well, that spreads out pretty quick, to everything from banking to unlocking your home or your vehicle.  Eventually, the ID chips came into play, implanted at the base of your skull, activated through the nerves in either hand and designed to only work with the individual person’s specific brainwave activity.  Once they came into play, they pretty much ended identity theft.  But now there really wasn’t any privacy, because anyone with access could see at a glance where you were, what you’d recently purchased, if you’d driven your car anywhere, you get the idea.  If you’ve got the cash, you could opt out of most of the tracking, cut down on the direct marketing and the invasion of your privacy.  But I still don’t care for it.”

            “Can’t say I blame you, but what’s the connection with your cybernetics?”

            “Cybernetic enhancements are worse,” I explained. “They’re super expensive, so the only way you get them is if you’re rich or you’re in the military.  If you’re rich, you can get private, untracked enhancements.  But if you’re a dirt-poor slob like me, you pretty much have to join the military to get ‘em.  And not many do that willingly anymore, not once word got out about the enhancements. That’s why nearly all of the veterans from my generation forward were drafted, like I was.  The only way to get out of a draft was if you bought yourself out, which meant, once more, that nearly all the active military was lower income bracket.”

            “But we all tried our damnedest to buy ourselves out of the draft, because here’s the problem, Bobby.  When you’re drafted into the military, you aren’t given a choice. They strap you to a stretcher, put you under, and implant their shit into you, never mind how you feel about it. As I understand it, it’s kind of like an assembly line where your stretcher goes through one room where the surgeons put in your processors, the next that does your eyes, and so forth until you come out fully enhanced.  You’re given some time to recover, depending on how much they did to you, and then it’s off to basic training and your new life as a cyborg.  The most say I got in the whole thing was when they selected me for Special Forces and I agreed to that.  I tested, made the cut, and got even more enhancements, because they’d already modified me.  What the hell does it matter if I’ve got more, right?”  I sighed.  “Of course now, they test pretty much everyone and order you to join special ops.”

            “Why?”

            “Long story, doesn’t matter,” I said.  I really did not want to get into that.  “Anyway, I mostly did it for the bump in pay, so I could save more to buy my little brother out of the draft.  Because here’s the thing, Bobby.  If the government enhances you, gets you fit to risk your life for them on their dime?  Then they feel perfectly justified in using those enhancements at any given time for keeping an eye on you.  And they do! Someone in the brass could look at a computer at any moment and see you having dinner, going for a walk, taking a shit, whatever.  Because they could tap in and look through your eyes, listen through your ears, hell, there’s rumors that there’s nanotech in our bone and muscle implants that can be used to tell exactly what we’re doing at any given moment!”

            Bobby frowned.  “That sounds a bit paranoid, Dean.”

            “It’s not paranoia if someone’s really out to get you, Bobby,” I declared.  “Trust me, this shit is real.  Veterans were being used as spies and we didn’t even know it!  But people started to get suspicious, and then about forty years before we left, right before my dad was getting out of the service, about five years before he married my mom and had me?  The truth got leaked.  And then everyone knew that every vet with standard implants was probably a transmitter for the Powers That Be, and those of us with special ops cybernetics absolutely were!  So needless to say, veterans got unpopular really fast.  It was so bad Sammy and I never even met mom’s side of the family. Her family never forgave her for marrying a vet like my dad.”

            “What the hell for?!”

            “Because people were being busted left and right when a vet happened to be passing by!” I exclaimed.  “It didn’t matter that the vets didn’t have any control over it, because everyone knew about the enhancements.  And the majority of those arrested were the vets themselves!  I once got a parking ticket three days after the fact, because someone who’d happened to check in on me through my implants saw I’d double-parked.”

            Bobby’s jaw dropped.  “Holy shit!  Dean, that’s crazy!  So in your time, unless you had the money, you could get drafted into the military, turned into a cyborg, and then used as a spy for the rest of your life?!”

            I nodded.  “That’s why they instituted the draft about the time I was born.  Because now, if you get drafted into the service, you can pretty much kiss your dreams goodbye.  And there’s no way to hide it.  If you’re a vet, it’s the first thing that shows up when your ID is scanned after your name.  Then businesses lobbied the government pretty hard, got new laws enacted that have stiff penalties if you’re a veteran and you’re out without one of these.”  I indicated my pin.  “Most of them are silver, meaning you have standard enhancements. If you’re special ops, you’re gold because you’ve got more.  And those, the more advanced enhancements?  Let’s just say that those ones are real, real special and leave it at that.”

            “I see.”  Fortunately, Bobby didn’t push.

            “Now to supposedly prevent discrimination, laws were passed requiring the minimal number of veterans any given business had to hire based on total number of employees,” I continued.  “But those laws just say businesses have to hire us and pay us fair wages.  They don’t say anything about what positions we can hold.  So if you’re looking at a career in anything other than security or law enforcement, chances are you’re going to be a janitor or maintenance, something they can keep out of classified areas where you might be able to transmit sensitive information.  And there’s nothing that says places like Biggerson’s can’t set up special veterans’ sections with partitions and loud music to make sure you can’t see or hear anything going on around you.  They can’t force you to go there, that’s illegal.  But if you don’t, you’re pretty much asking for trouble.”

            “It’s a whole new level of discrimination,” Bobby grunted.

            “You got it.  Needless to say, the demand to take the tracking ability off of the military implants once we’re out of the service is pretty high.  It’s called blacking out, shutting down all the transmitters on your implants so no one can track you.  But that takes money most vets don’t have, or selling your soul to a big corporation like Angeli Quinque by signing a contract to go work for them. Any Angel can black you out, because the one upstairs in your house is the one that perfected the system the US government uses!  Every vet around my age and younger has his version of the enhancements.  So if you go to work for Angeli Quinque, they’ll black you out on day one, give you a gold pin backing that proves it, and not even have to fill out any official paperwork to do it because they operate outside of government controls and don’t want anyone spying on their business. I did manage to find a way to get a black-out without going bankrupt before I signed on.  That’s what this means.”  I fingered the backing on my pin.  “But that’s why most people don’t have implants, and why I would hate to have anything else tacked onto me.  Because when you wire a new cybernetic into your nervous system, it resets everything, turns it all right back on again!  Even medical or surgical nanites in the hospital will put you back on the books! It’s why most of us don’t seek out medical care unless we’re literally dying.  So that’s the other fun thing about being a vet.  We typically have low life expectancies, and damned high suicide rates.”  I shrugged. “I think that’s why, if you’re a vet, you still get shit on, even if you’re blacked out.  Because it’s so easy to turn those trackers back on again, put you right back on the books!”

            “Wow.”  Bobby shook his head.  “You know, I fought in Vietnam.  When we came back, vets were damned unpopular then, too, because of some bullshit stories being spread around.  Now, I don’t want to offend you, because you obviously believe this about your implants, so maybe it ain’t such bullshit.  But what you’re telling me, and the sentiment against vets that goes along with it?  I get it. It’s like time moves in a circle, doesn’t it, Dean?”

            “Yeah.”  I sighed. “I got pretty badly injured in the line of duty not that long ago.  Damned near lost my arm.  Cas kept saying he could make me a new one, but I don’t want it.  Even though any one of the Angels could black me back out again and I’m sure Cas would do it in a heartbeat?  I don’t want to be back on the books for even a second!  Besides, I don’t want to be any less human than I already am.  I love Castiel just as he is, but I’m as much of a cyborg as he is, maybe more!  Add anything else to me, and I’ll be closer to a robot than a human.  I don’t want that.”

            There was a lot more to it than that, of course, but I’d already given Bobby a lot to digest.  I saw him stewing over what I’d told him, scowling into his beard.  “You know, I’m still reeling over this company operating outside of government controls and being able to shut down a government-issued military tracking system,” he grumbled.  “From what you tell me, it pretty much has the entire world in its grip!”

            “It does,” I confirmed.  “My friends, they’re called Hunters?  They’re a resistance group, fighting against Angeli Quinque because they question how much control Michael and the others have, for precisely that reason!”

            “That’s scary,” Bobby grunted.

            “Yeah.  There’s other resistance groups, but the Hunters are the ones who do the most work with vets.  They’re the ones who blacked me out before.  Charlie’s almost as good as an Angeli Quinque Angel when it comes to that!”

            “But you said Angeli Quinque would have done it for you for free when you started working for them?”

            I nodded.  “They actually think they’re the ones who did it.  When I joined the company, I didn’t wear my black-out backing so they’d think I was on the books and wouldn’t get suspicious.  Lucifer lined a bunch of us up, plugged a wireless jack in his plate, walked down the line of us and that was it.  He didn’t even have to touch me.  Some bored tech followed behind him, held a scanner to my head, linked up with my processors, and confirmed the blackout.  And that’s all there was to it.  They never paid a bit of attention or checked to see that I was already blacked out, so long as I was off the books when they were done with me.”

            “So that raises a fairly obvious question. You wanted blacked out, for obvious reasons, but you went about it the hard way, before you joined the company. Why didn’t you just let the Angels do it in the first place?”

            “Because I never wanted to get close enough to those sons of bitches to give them the chance to do it!” I spat.  “Bobby, I never wanted to work for that damned company, alright?  I absolutely hate Angeli Quinque and the Angels, and I always have!  I never wanted anything to do with them!  I went in for a specific purpose, and never intended to stay!”

            “You’re a Hunter!” Bobby realized.  “Your group sent you in there to spy on them, didn’t they?”

            Bobby was too smart for his own good.  But I had no reason to lie now.  I nodded.  “I’ve been a Hunter pretty much since the day I got out of the service.  I had a buddy there, Benny?  He was way older than me, and was the base commander where we were usually stationed between missions.  I saved his life in the service, nearly got myself killed in the process, and he never forgot it.  Now he’s like a brother to me.  He got me into Purgatory, introduced me to Ellen Harvelle, one of their leaders, and her daughter JoAnna.  They brought me to Charlie, and she rigged me up with a fake ID built right into my original chip.  Then they sent me into Angeli Quinque.  I knew I had an in because my brother, Sammy?  He used to work for them as a bodyguard and his old boss, Angel Gabriel, had told me I’d have a job if I just asked.  So I was pretty much guaranteed a position when I went in.  Once I got what I went in for, I was supposed to use that ID to get out, get back to Purgatory.  We were going to try to take these bastards down, Bobby!  Michael and the others, especially Gabriel?  They killed my brother!  I went in there to find out why as much as to complete my mission for the Hunters.  And if I could have pulled it off, we could have done it!  We could take down the fucking Angels, lay the network wide open and expose the whole shit show once and for all!”  I looked down.  “There was just one thing I didn’t plan on.”

            “Falling in love with one of the Angels.”

            I didn’t answer.  I didn’t have to.

            Bobby shook his head sadly.  “I hear everything you’re saying, Dean, but that boy inside? He doesn’t seem as evil as you claim the other Angels are.”

            “No, he’s not.  But that’s just one more example of how those fuckers work, Bobby. Everyone thinks Cas is eccentric because they hide his true condition.  First day I met him, he was so freaked out he was hiding under his desk!  We had, well, a rough start.  But I fell in love with him so fast, and once I realized how that company abused him?  Then the mission and everything else just took second place to getting him out!”

            “Castiel doesn’t remember loving you, Dean,” Bobby said softly.  “You risked everything for him, but he can’t remember one blasted thing about any of it! So you gotta give him some space.”

            “Space?”  I nodded. “Alright, I get that, but Cas needs care, Bobby!”

            “I’ll take care of him.  And if I need help, I’ll let you know.  Meanwhile, I got a question for ya.”

            “Alright?”

            “You want a job?”  The grizzled face broke into a smile.  “Cyborg or not, you’re the best damned mechanic I’ve ever seen, boy! I’ll pay you a fair wage and throw in room and board until you get your own place.  And of course, Castiel can stay as long as he needs.  But if you boys are here for at least the next seventy years, then by God, I could use the help!  You this good with those fancy hybrids?”

            I grinned back.  “Yes, sir, hybrids and full electrics.  And I’d love a job!  I’ll, um, watch who’s around when I use the enhancements, too.  I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

            “Won’t bother me none.  If anyone asks, you just tell ‘em it’s none of their damned business. Same thing with that plate in Castiel’s head and whatever else he’s got.  His eyes were a bit different, they glow, too?”

            “All the time, actually.  The indicator nanites in his irises are always lit up. They just rest on the edges and float in towards the pupils as he burns processor time and his nervous system gets charged up.”

            “And if he goes too far, he fries his own circuits?”

            “That’s right.  He’ll overload his nervous system, short out his processors, and basically blank right out.  Then his eyes glow blue, and we never, ever want to see that!  If Castiel goes into overload, without his control, there’s no chance in Hell of bringing him out.  He’ll stay that way until he dies, however long that takes.”  I shuddered.  “I couldn’t even imagine that.”

            “Well, not much chance of that happening when he doesn’t have those fancy-ass computers to jack into, right?”

            “No, sir!”  I smiled again.  “And I’m here to tell you, I’m glad!”

            He slapped me on the arm.  “You want to get started, Dean?  This here’s my private garage.  There’s a bigger one in the yard that I use for most of the work.  Why don’t you head on out there, introduce yourself to Lenny and Barney?  I’ll go check on your angel.”

            He said it the way I did, like Cas was something special instead of just a specialized cyborg, and that made me smile.  If I’d had any doubts before that I’d fallen in with a good man, well, now they were gone.  I got up, shook his hand.  “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t regret it.”

            “I already regret it!”  He gave me his curmudgeon face again and pointed towards the door. "Get going, show those two lazy idjits up, and maybe they’ll even step it up!  Stranger things have happened.”


	24. Chapter Past - Fitting In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to adjust in the new time he finds himself in, and reconnect with Castiel. Castiel is having a difficult time of things.

            I went out, introduced myself to Lenny and Barney as instructed.  Lenny was a short, slightly overweight Caucasian man with watery blue eyes, thinning blonde hair, and a face scarred by a teenage battle with acne.  Barney was another Caucasian man in his late twenties, who appeared to be into piercings and tattoos.  His black hair was cut into a short mohawk.  He peered at me through suspicious brown eyes.  The two of them eyed me up, shook my hand, told me their names.  “You Bobby’s latest stray?” Lenny wanted to know.  “God knows he collects enough of ‘em.  It’s like a hobby.”

            I smiled, already deciding I didn’t care much for Lenny.  “Yes, sir, I suppose I am.  But I can sling a wrench well enough.”

            Barney didn’t say anything other than his name. He just grunted and ducked back down under the hood of the Mustang he was working on, leaving me with Lenny.

            Lenny indicated my coverall.  “That used to belong to Dave.  Dave was a good man.”

            “Sorry.  Did he die?”

            Lenny spat into a coffee can on the floor. “Bobby caught him cheating a customer and fired his ass.  Dumb motherfucker.”

            “Dave, or Bobby?”

            Lenny spat again and didn’t answer.  He pointed with a wrench instead.  “You can start on that Explorer over there.  It’s a piece of shit, but the owner’s too cheap to get a new one, so we see it a lot.”

            I nodded.  “I’ll see what I can do with it.”

            “Good luck.  Just so you know, once you fix it, the owner will try to weasel his way out of paying for it.”

            “Good to know.”  I moved away and went to work.

            Lenny was right.  The Explorer was a piece of shit.  But at least the work kept me busy.  I kept on it until Bobby showed up to bring me in for supper and my co-workers went home for the night.  “He’s fine,” Bobby told me before I could ask.  “And he already ate.  He doesn’t have much of an appetite, but he did well enough.  I got as much as I could into him, helped him wash up a little, and had him lie back down.  Now you sit and eat, too.”

            “Bobby, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us.”

            Bobby grunted.  Then he jerked a thumb over his shoulder.  “We both know you shouldn’t be sleeping in with him tonight, so I got a spare bed up in the attic I made up for you.  Tomorrow if he’s up to it, we’ll head into town, spend your first paycheck on some clean clothes for the both of you.  For now, come on in, get cleaned up.  You can see him later.  Just remember what we talked about, Dean.  He’s fragile, and just starting to peek out from his shell. So sit down, eat, and compose yourself before you go up there.”

            I nodded, sat down, ate and composed myself.

            When I finally went up to check on my angel, my heart was pounding.  Castiel was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring off into space.  I came in slowly, making sure not to make any sudden moves.  I felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner that what I’d been dealing with all this time was PTSD.  Well, I never said I was a shrink.  But at least it was something I had some idea of how to deal with.  “Hey, Cas,” I called softly.

            He didn’t respond.  I moved closer, sinking to one knee in front of him so we’d be at eye level.  His eyes stared right through me, but I smiled at him anyway.  “We got lucky,” I told him.  “We found a decent man who’s letting me work for our keep.  We can stay here, and you’ll be safe, until you get better. Then you can decide what you want to do, ok?  It’s your choice.”

            No answer.

            I reached out, took his hand.  “You’re free now, angel,” I whispered.  “And you’re so strong, stronger than you realize!  You can get through this!  We’ve got a real chance here for another life.  But I won’t force you into anything.  The way I took you, forced this on you?  It wasn’t right.  I know that now.  Regardless of my reasons, even what you said you wanted before?  You didn’t want to go with me now.  So if you decide you want to go your own way, away from me?  Then I’ll let you go, Cas.  But if you’ll have me, then I will do everything in my power to protect you, take care of you, for as long as I live.”

            No response.  The blue eyes still looked right through me.  I raised his hand to my lips, kissed his palm.  He let me do it, his arm moving with a slight stiffness, letting me position it as I wished.  His fingers were as capable as my own of reading and writing to data chips.  I considered sending him a data burst, but realized he’d either not respond or go even deeper.  He wouldn’t tolerate my kiss, wouldn’t hear my words.  I felt lost.  I bent down his middle and ring fingers and pressed my hand against his, my thumb, index, and pinky fingers raised in that old symbol.  “Thumb index pinky, Cas,” I told him.  “I love you.  And I’m sorry that I didn’t say it back to you until it was too late.”

            Other than his chest moving as he breathed, my angel may as well have been a statue.  I dropped my hand.  His own remained as it was, fingers still in that old symbol.  Dejected I got up and turned to leave.

            Behind me, I heard him gasp.  I turned, saw him staring down at his own hand.  He turned it, examining it like he’d never seen the appendage before.  His face creased into a little puzzled frown.  Then his eyes slowly moved to me.  “Dean,” he whispered.

            I made the sign back at him, suddenly full of wild hope.  “I love you, Cas!  You taught me this, remember?  It was your way to tell me without letting the other Angels know.  You’d even do it over the phone, tell me ‘Thumb index pinky, Dean!’ so that I’d know you were saying that you loved me.”  I sucked in my breath, seeing his eyes go wide, recognition paint his features.  “You _do_ remember!  You do!  Oh, angel, I...”

            It wasn’t until he gasped and scrabbled backwards over the bed to fall to the floor on the other side that I realized I’d started towards him, my hand reaching out.  Now he was covering his plate with both hands, panting in fear as he looked at me.  I froze.  “Alright!” I called, backing up.  “I won’t touch you, Cas.  I’m going back out, alright?  No one is going to hurt you.  It’s ok, Cas.  I’m going.”

            Messy dark hair poked over the far edge of the bed, followed by wide blue eyes that warily marked my movement.  I backed out into the hall, where I encountered Bobby, coming up the stairs in response to the thud.  “What happened?” he asked.

            “I’m, how did you put it?  An idjit,” I confessed.  “But at least I think he remembered something.”

            Bobby patted my shoulder.  “I got this.  Go upstairs and get some sleep, Dean.”

            “Bobby, you have to watch him, alright?” I said desperately.  “He’ll wander off, get lost or hurt!  Please, you have to make sure he doesn’t get out, and...”

            A crooked finger pointed towards the attic steps. I quietly climbed up them, found the bed, stripped down to my boxers and climbed in.  I amped my hearing, listening as Bobby quietly told my angel he was going to bed, please stay here and call if he needed anything.  Then Bobby said he was putting a bell on the door, just to keep him safe.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  Cas wouldn’t wander off tonight, not without making enough noise to wake me.  Alright, then.  It had been nearly two days since I’d gotten any decent sleep, and the truth was, I was exhausted.  I closed my eyes, and almost immediately dropped off.

            Cas’s bell never rang that night.

            We went shopping for clothes the next day. I couldn’t believe how cheap everything was, until Bobby told me what my paycheck would be.  Then I had a whole new respect for Raphael.  Who could keep up with this “inflation” crap?  Bobby also told me he was going to contact a buddy of his, someone who knew a friend who knew a friend who could get “papers” for me and Cas.  Until then, I wouldn’t be able to open a bank account, drive a car, or get one of the plastic cards Bobby used to pay for everything.  The whole thing seemed crazy to me.  First off, how did anyone know if the person using the plastic cards was really the person whose name was on the card?  And with such uncertainty, why did I need “papers” to be able to get them, especially if a few phone calls and some cash could make those papers appear in the first place?  But whatever. 2018 was a weird, weird time. Cell phones were everywhere, just as they were in 2088, but they were bizarre and clunky.  You had to actually type out messages to send to people.  And people had numbers instead of personal IDs.  How the hell did that even work?  Who could remember a bunch of numbers and associate them with people?  And why was everyone content to be reduced to a number anyway?  Made no sense to me.

            At least I was able to help out a bit.  I put on my sunglasses and took a peek at how the card readers worked.  Then I took Bobby’s plastic card, linked up through my fingertips with the chip imbedded in the end of it, and altered it.  It was ridiculously easy.  Bobby didn’t seem to understand what I’d done, and I didn’t feel the need to tell him, but his card now looped right back to the credit company, dutifully paying for everything without actually putting any charges on Bobby’s account. Sure, it was probably not legal, ethical, or moral, but personally I didn’t give a shit.  Someone like Bobby was worth more than money anyway.

            Naturally, our biggest problem was Cas.  Bobby tied a blue bandana around Cas’s head and then gave him a ballcap, completely hiding his plate.  But my angel was still pretty catatonic.  Cas would walk with us, follow simple directions.  But he didn’t initiate anything.  He went where he was led, not saying a word or looking at anyone or anything.  Any time there was a loud noise he jumped, and if we were in a crowd, he pressed against me.  That would have made me feel awesome if it hadn’t been for what Bobby had said, about me being the only familiar thing.  But Bobby was great.  He kept up a running commentary in a low voice whenever he could, both to soothe Cas and to let me know what the hell was going on.  And I could see my angel responding, pressing a little less into my side.  By the time we finally stopped to eat, he was even starting to look around, taking note of his surroundings.  But he still wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t even order.

            Thank God Biggerson’s was damned near immortal. In seven decades, the place hadn’t really changed except for the addition of the Angeli Quinque com stations. I ordered Biggieburgers and fries for us both, remembering that he’d ordered that when I’d first taken him out. And once again, Bobby’s military ID got us all discounts.  Weird time, but in some ways that was very, very good.

            There were paper placemats on the trays we’d used to carry our food, and crayons at the table for kids to amuse themselves coloring.  Cas only ate about half of his burger and nibbled at his fries, and then only with prompting.  But his eyes kept straying to the crayons.  Finally, he picked up one of the crayons, pushed his food aside, and started writing on the paper mat.

            “Balls!” Bobby grunted, looking at the long string of figures being produced.  “It’s like watching Einstein or something!  Everyone in the future a genius?”

            I snorted.  “Not hardly.  I told you, Cas is behind most of the biggest tech advancements in our time, either directly because he flat-out invented it himself, or indirectly because it came through one of his satellite labs or they improved on it.  It’s what he was designed to do.  He’s awesome!”

            Cas paid no attention.  His face was set in a frown of concentration as he worked, the crayon flying across the paper.  But suddenly he threw the crayon and leaned forward on the table, cradling his head in his hands.

            Bobby and I exchanged a glance.  Then we quietly finished our meal, gathered our garbage and the flung crayon, and got my flustered angel back into the truck.

            No one said anything on the drive back.  We got our purchases and Cas inside, put the latter on the couch and the former in our rooms.  I took a moment to change, knowing Bobby was encouraging Cas to do the same.  We’d been wearing the same underwear for days now and I imagined he was feeling as uncomfortable as I was.  Sure enough, when I went back down, Cas and Bobby were gone.  And a short time later, Bobby was bringing my angel down the stairs, dressed in a new pair of jeans, a polo shirt, and loafers.  Castiel looked absolutely gorgeous.  For my part, I was feeling much more comfortable in my own jeans, t-shirt, and flannel shirt with my new work boots.  Working in the garage yesterday in dress shoes hadn’t been ideal.

            I’d surrendered the couch for the love seat, but to my surprise, Cas immediately sat next to me.  He didn’t touch me, though.  He just sat, leaning forward on his elbows with his forearms draped across his knees and his hands folded.  His hair was an adorable mess from the hat and bandana.  I wanted to comb it down a bit with my fingers, but didn’t dare.  I kept my hands to myself and kept quiet, waiting for Cas.  Bobby climbed into his recliner and did the same.

            “It won’t work,” Cas said finally.  “In this time, the technology just isn’t here! The processers just aren’t fast enough.”

            “You trying to make something, Castiel?” Bobby asked softly.

            Cas nodded.  “Project Samandriel still exists, outside of this timeline.  It’s creating a disturbance in time itself, one that I can lock onto with the correct frequency.  With a powerful transmitter, I could link up with it, use it to bring us back to the right time.”

            “Whoa, hold on a minute,” I called.  “Cas, I know you don’t remember, but you worked on Project Samandriel for a long time, before you even met me.  It wasn’t just about saving me.  You wanted out of Angeli Quinque!”  I spread my hands.  “Cas, this is job done!  You’re free! Now you can start again, live your life the way you want to live!”

            Cas went quiet again, and Bobby shot me a look. “Why do you want to go back to your time, Castiel?” Bobby asked.

            Cas licked his lips.  “My brothers will search for me, once they realize I didn’t die. That means Gabriel will be searching! He’ll push himself, trying to find me. And if he pushes too hard, goes into overload?”  He shook his head.  “I shouldn’t have left him!  I shouldn’t have left any of them behind, but the project could only have one primary and one secondary interface,” he continued, displaying his wristband.  “I obviously believed Dean could do it.”

            “Do what?” I asked.

            “Save them.  I’ve been running through all of my files, and you’re right, Dean. Project Samandriel was something I’ve worked on for months, since shortly after I lost Samandriel.  It was a way to save someone I loved.  And I think you’re right about this, too, Dean.” He raised his hand, making the old familiar hand signal.  Then he cocked his head, squinting at me in confusion.  “This feels right.  You’re very attractive.  Despite everything, you make me feel safe.  And I remember feeling something for you.  I remember telling you this symbol, pressing it against your chest under your coat when you were going away, telling you ‘Thumb index pinky’ over the phone.  And it doesn’t make sense to me because it’s all full of holes!  There’s so much that’s just missing from my memory!  But I do remember this.  And that means I trusted you, and I loved you, Dean.  I must have.”

            I couldn’t talk, so I just nodded.

            “But you’re also right when you say I had another reason for creating Project Samandriel,” he continued.  “I could use it to save one person, but that person had a purpose.  Whoever I saved would go back in time to correct a mistake.  I had to choose someone who could do that, do whatever it took to make things right.  I needed someone who could save them.  And I chose you, Dean.”

            “Save who?” Bobby asked.

            “The other Angels,” I sighed.  “When he finally told me about this project, he told me that he wanted me to get him out of Angeli Quinque so he could be free to find a way to save the other Angels.  But I didn’t understand it then, and I sure as hell don’t understand it now!” I dared to reach over and put my hand on his arm.  “Cas, the other Angels are the reason you wanted out in the first place!  They are the ones who were using you up, making you go on the jack and work until that was all you knew.  They don’t care about you, angel, they only saw you as a tool to be used!”

            “No!”  The vehemence in his voice shocked me.  “No, Dean, they do care about me!  They’re my brothers, and they love me, Dean!”

            “Bullshit!”  I spat. “Let’s talk about how much they love you, alright?  Raphael’s the money man who assigns you project after project until you’re so overwhelmed you’re a complete wreck and sobbing yourself to sleep at night. Lucifer flat-out abuses you, drags you around and bruises you when he’s in his right mind and tries to kill you when he’s not!  Michael loves you so much that, immediately following the episode where Lucifer nearly killed you, made damned sure that the only project you had to work on in the cabin where you were supposed to recover was his stupid generator he wanted to use to woo the Huis delegates!  And Gabriel?” I scoffed.  “Gabriel flat-out disgusts me with how little he cares about anyone!  Putting aside the fact that my brother, who he claimed to care oh so much about and just cried his eyes out over at his funeral, got killed because Gabriel himself sent him out on a suicide mission?!  That son of a bitch is the one who made the reservations for us at that restaurant, Cas! Did you realize that?  Tell me, how was it that they knew we’d be there, knew exactly where the security teams would be?  Because I’ve been thinking about that, and it seems to me someone had to have told them!  Gabriel monitors the communications.  How the fuck could he have missed something like that, unless he was the one behind it?”

            “Gabriel would never put me in danger, Dean!”

            “I am waiting for another explanation, Castiel!” I sighed.  “Listen, I’m sorry, buddy, but you gotta face facts here. The other Angels did not love you. All the time I worked with you, I never saw anyone but Gabe ever hug you.  They talk down to you like you’re a child!  And they would have just let the handlers tie you down and force you on the jack after Lucifer, rather than giving you any time to recover, if I hadn’t thrown a fit about it!  Frankly, I’m amazed they let you visit me in the hospital, especially when they had a war vote around them.  Or, wait, let me guess.  They all came in, stood around my bed while I was unconscious after my surgery, and did the vote then, with me as nothing more than a decoration?  Sounds like something that a group of people who treat other people as disposable would do!”

            Castiel looked away, and I nodded.  “I’m sorry, buddy,” I said softly.  “I know this has to hurt, and I’m sure it’s the last thing you need right now.  But the sooner you face facts, see the other Angels for what they really are?  The sooner you’ll realize that this is the best thing that ever could have happened to you!”

            He stayed quiet.  Bobby didn’t say a word, sitting back in his chair, watching us with a frown.  I put my hand over Cas’s.  “Cas, you’re free,” I told him.  “For the first time in your life, you’re really, truly free!”

            “I never should have given you that interface wristband,” Castiel mumbled, pulling his hand away.  “It was a mistake.  Now I need to correct it.  I have to find a way to reconnect with my time distortion generators in 2088 and reboot the project, send myself back.  You’re welcome to stay here.  But I’ll need your wristband, Dean, and your weapon, and any other tech you have with you. I need all the modern technology I can get!”

            “Let him have it, Dean,” Bobby called when I hesitated.  “Cas made his decision.  Now you gotta respect it.”

            I swallowed hard.  With a shaking hand, I entered my birthdate and unlocked the wristband, handing it to Castiel.  I felt naked without it.  I handed him my phone, as well.  Then, when he still waited, I grimaced and pulled my phaser from its holster.  I made a point of shutting it off and pulling out the power pack before handing it to Cas.  Hopefully, this wasn’t going to come back and bite me in the ass.

            Cas didn’t look at me as I handed the devices over. He simply nodded his thanks and then turned to Bobby.  “You’ve already given me so much, but might I ask you for a little more?”  Seeing Bobby nod, he continued.  “I need a place to work that’s private and secure.  And I need access to electronic equipment.”

            “You can use the private garage.  It’s got a work bench and some tools.  If you need to modify it, let me know and we’ll see what we can do.  What kind of electronic equipment are you looking for?”

            “I don’t know!” Castiel confessed.  “I don’t have Gabriel to do the research, and I can’t research myself because the Angeli Quinque network doesn’t exist here!”

            “But the internet does, right?”  When Bobby confirmed this with a nod, I went on.  “Cas, do you think you could use the internet?  You’d have to do it the old-fashioned way, but...”

            He brightened, and nodded.  “Yes, I could, if I had a device capable of accessing it?”

            “I got the computer in the office,” Bobby offered, indicating the messy desk in his office.  “When I’m not using it for work, you’re welcome to it.  And once you figure out what you need, well, you’re welcome to most anything you can find in the yard.  Let me know if I can help.”

            “I’m rusty, but I still remember the computer components in these old cars well enough, and the more I work on ‘em, the easier it gets,” I called.  “Cas, if you need something, you just ask, and I’ll find it in the stacks.”

            That earned me a small smile that made me feel warm. “Thank you.  May I look at the garage?”

            Bobby smiled.  “You go right ahead and look, boy.”

            Cas headed out.  I waited until he was gone, and then got up, heading to Bobby’s office. I rummaged around on his desk for a bit, found a post-it note, wrote on it, and taped it in a prominent place above his desk.

            Bobby wandered over to see what I was doing. “‘Do not tear apart anything on this desk,’” he read, frowning.  “That really necessary, Dean?”

            “You better believe it.  You got anything else in this house you’d mind parting with?”

            Bobby eyed him.  “My radio?”

            I handed him the post-it notes.  “You should probably put these on your tools in the garage, too.”

            Bobby took them, eyeing me.  “Is he really that bad?”

            “He took apart his electric razor and used KY to write equations on the bathroom mirror.”

            “Gimme that pen.”


	25. Chapter Past - Wandering Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Castiel goes missing, Dean is desperate to find him

            I wasn’t sure what I could do for Cas.  Just like he’d done in our own time, the only thing he really seemed able to focus on was work.  He spent a lot of time out in Bobby’s private garage, doing God alone knows what.  When I’d go to see him, he’d be surrounded by various bits of hardware, everything from car computers to the diamonds from his cufflinks to calculators to my disassembled cell phone to a broken laptop to Bobby’s microwave.  I’d had to apologize profusely to Bobby about that last one after I’d discovered Bobby, red-faced and silent, staring at the empty spot on his counter with a plate of food he’d obviously intended to heat up in his hand.  But while the mess in the garage continued to grow, Cas stayed withdrawn.  Mostly, he seemed lost in his thoughts.  While he was unfailingly polite, he rarely spoke to anyone.  If Bobby and I hadn’t been there, he would have neglected his personal well-being as much as he’d ever done in Angeli Quinque.

            He usually wore the ballcap Bobby had given him.  It looked strange, seeing my prim, proper angel running around in a work coverall from the garage and the cap, going about his business.  And Cas’s condition was presenting some problems as well. He wandered even more than I was used to, constantly roaming through the salvage yard while lost in his thoughts. Bobby had it all fenced in and he’d started insisting that we keep the front gate closed to help keep Cas in.  We’d rigged up an alarm that would sound two chimes any time the gate opened.  It irritated the piss out of my co-workers, because it went off every time they, a customer, a delivery person or even a strong wind caused the gate to open even slightly.  The result was that it was chiming frequently.  Every time it went off, I stopped whatever I was doing to check and see if it was my angel wandering out.  And frequently, it was.  Then I’d jog out after him and bring him back in.

            Lenny and Barney were amused by it at first, making comments about me making sure my lover wasn’t running away.  I’d politely explained that, yes, that was precisely what I was doing and had earned myself some quiet for a bit.  That had amused me almost as much as it had irritated me.  One thing I did remember from history was the prejudice towards homosexuals that was still common around this timeframe.  It was so stupid.  In twenty years, only the most backwater of inbred idiots still subscribed to that sort of thing, but in this time?  I was hearing Barney and Lenny joining in with the male part-timer making misogynistic comments about Julie, the female part-timer, only to turn around and have a conversation with her that was decidedly racist towards Vihaan, the male part-timer, who was of Indian descent.  Lenny and Barney had initially tried to draw me into these discussions.  I’d simply announced that I disagreed and went back to work.  Now, I had no doubt I was the subject of more than one of their little chats.  But I couldn’t care less.  When their conversations didn’t make me want to punch them in the face, I got along with them well enough.  As much as I would have loved to get into it with them over just how absurd their beliefs were, I knew it was a battle I wouldn’t win.  Besides, I couldn’t antagonize Bobby’s employees just because they were an unfortunate product of their times.

            But then came the day when Julie started hitting on me.

            I’d only worked with her three times in that first week with Bobby.  I’d realized she was attracted to me pretty much immediately.  It’s not my first rodeo, and she was anything but subtle.  The first day we met, she kept walking around where I was working, getting an eyeful of me bending over an engine.  I didn’t care, beyond having to be a bit more careful about using my diagnostic optics or my strength.  If she wanted to look, I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of.

            The second day, she kept finding excuses to come and talk to me. Unfortunately, that was also the day she’d revealed her racist tendencies and I had little to say, not giving her much beyond one-word responses or brief answers to her questions. And that, apparently, prompted her to step up her game.

            From the moment she showed up at the garage, I knew I had a problem.  Julie had selected a coverall that was a size or two too small, and had left it open at the top to reveal part of her cleavage. She’d piled on the make-up and perfume, had her hair in an upswept arrangement, and wore long earrings and a necklace that rested low on her chest.  She did look very attractive, although very little about her get-up was really a good idea for working in a garage on engines.  Lenny and Barney certainly approved, giving loud wolf whistles and grinning widely as they looked between the two of us.  From the corner of my eye, I could see that they’d stopped working altogether, turning to watch, clearly expecting a show.  I groaned inwardly, keeping my head down and my attention on my work.

            Julie wasted no time.  She sashayed up to me, hand on her hip.  “Hi, Dean,” she called.

            Another time and place, I might have responded the way she hoped.  She looked good, after all.  But she couldn’t hold a candle to my angel.  Besides, I flat-out wasn’t interested in anyone else but Cas. Time to get that across.  I looked up, smiled politely, and immediately returned to my work.  “Hey, Julie. I’ve got this Firebird, would you mind looking at the Charger?  Lady says there’s a knock in the engine.”

            She didn’t get the hint.  Instead, she leaned down over the engine block.  “You sure there’s nothing knocking in this engine?”

            I kept my eyes on my work, knowing she was trying to give me a view.  “Nope, this one’s primarily an electrical issue. I got it, thanks.”  My optics made it easy to spot electrical problems.  As a result, I’d quickly become the mechanic of choice any time electrical issues were involved.

            Once again, Julie refused to take a hint.  She leaned down even further, so her face was now inches from my ear. “You sure you wouldn’t mind a little help?  I could...”

            It wasn’t polite, but I never said I was a gentleman.  I deftly opened a valve, allowing a small stream of motor oil to splash directly onto her face.  She sputtered and stood up.  “Oh, did that get you?” I called, too busy closing the valve to look up.  “You know how these old engines are!  And thanks, if I need help I’ll call you.”

            Barney and Lenny apparently thought the whole thing was hilarious.  Their laughter nearly drowned out her sputtering as she stormed away, looking for a cloth to wipe her face off.  Hopefully most of her make-up would come off with it.

            “Dean?”

            At the sound of Castiel’s gravelly voice, I immediately popped up, smoothly banging my head off of the bottom of the hood.  I winced, rubbed at the bump, and managed to smile.  “Hey, Cas!  You need something?”

            He handed me a circuit board.  “It’s cracked, but this is what I need.  Can you solder it?”

            “Sure!”  I quickly moved to the work bench and got to work with the soldering iron.  Then I hooked up some power, took a quick glance through the diagnostic optics, soldered another nearly-invisible break in the circuitry, and job done.  I disconnected the board from power and carefully fanned it to cool the soldering. “This is going to be very warm for a bit, so be careful, alright?” I warned.  “I don’t want you to burn your fingers!”

            “I won’t.”  He accepted it.  “Thank you, Dean.”

            “Hey, anytime, angel!  You need anything else?”

            “No, thank you.  I’m going to go put this in now.”

            “Alright.  You need anything, you call!”

            “I will, thank you.”  He smiled at me, and I could feel my face splitting into a goofy, lovestruck grin. Yeah, I was kind of helping Cas to leave me, but at least he was talking to me again, right?

            I trailed after him a little, watching as my angel headed back to Bobby’s garage and whatever it was he was working on.  Then I turned to see all three of my coworkers staring at me.  My cheeks colored a little when Barney and Lenny made kissy faces at me.  “Yeah, ok, maybe I kind of fell over myself a little there, so what?” I defended as I stomped back to the Firebird.  That brought even more laughter from the dipstick duo.  Whatever.

            “Dean?” Julie asked.  “Are you, um, gay?”

            I was bisexual, but I nodded anyway.  “Yes, ma’am.  And Castiel, he’s with me.”  Not true, at least not anymore.  But if that wouldn’t discourage her, nothing would.

            “Oh!”  Her voice was high.  “Well, isn’t that nice?  He is very attractive.  Um, that metal thing on the side of his head, is that why he’s, well, simple?”

            Naturally, Bobby’s ballcap couldn’t cover all of Cas’s plate.  The bottom edge of it, just above his right ear, was still visible.  But at least most of it was covered, including the engraving.  “Cas isn’t simple,” I corrected.  “The plate’s medical, and yes, that’s why he gets mixed up and keeps trying to wander out the front gate, but he’s actually super smart. You’d be amazed at the things he comes up with!”

            “Oh.”  I couldn’t read her expression, so I just went back to work.

            For some reason, Lenny and Barney were sniggering again.  I heard her say something sharp to them I wasn’t listening closely enough to catch, and the laughter got even louder.  I ignored them all.

            Julie kept her distance after that.  Fine by me. The issue with the Firebird was more complicated than I’d thought.  I’d developed a reputation for tearing things apart the way I’d done that first day in Bobby’s garage, so no one said anything when parts started spreading out in an expanding circle around my work area.  But when I looked up, something seemed wrong with the arrangement of parts I’d set out.  From my time in the garage during my childhood, I’d learned to be methodical about placing parts out while I was working.  My time in the military had only strengthened that.  So now when I looked around, I knew immediately that something was missing.  “Did someone pick up one of my circuit boards?” I called.

            “Yeah, your boyfriend!” Julie responded.  For some reason, Lenny and Barney were trying to hide their grins. “He came in here behind you while you were working, picked up a board, and headed out back into the yard with it. Must be doing something genius, right?”

            I groaned.  “He came back out here and took one of my boards and no one said anything?!  Thanks a lot!”  Irritated, I stormed into the salvage yard.  The laughter behind me did nothing to improve my mood.  I’d jogged clear down to the end of the stacks, calling for Cas, before I realized that they’d all come out into the yard and were laughing their asses off at me.  Julie had my missing circuit board in her hand.

            “It’s so lovely to know I’m working with such hilarious practical jokers,” I growled as I snatched it back and shoved my way back into the garage.

            “Oh, c’mon, Dean, that was hilarious!  You were all up and down those rows like a lovesick puppy, all ‘Cas! Cas!  Where are you, angel?’  It was adorable!”

            “You’re an asshole, Julie.”

            Loud laughter confirmed my assessment.

            I was fairly steamed when I got back to work.  I finally found the problem, put the Firebird back together, and stood up, leaning backwards to stretch the kinks out of my back.  And that was when I finally realized something strange. “Been a while since I heard the chimes,” I called.

            My coworkers exchanged surprised looks.  “Did that damned thing finally break?” Barney asked.  He started towards the front and looked out.  “Oh!  The gate’s open, who left it open?  Aw, shit! Dean, where’s your boyfriend?  He didn’t go out while that gate was open, did he?”

            My heart sank to my shoes.  I raced for the garage.  No Cas. He wasn’t in the house either. Barney, Lenny, and Julie were already looking through the stacks in the yard, shouting back that they hadn’t found him. By now, Bobby was out of the front office.  “How long has he been gone?!” he wanted to know.

            Julie was pale and looked near tears.  “H-he must have gone out while we were playing that prank on Dean, and we didn’t hear the gate alarm because we were all out back.  But that was over three hours ago!  Dean, I’m so, so sorry!”

            “Don’t be sorry, get yer ass in gear!” Bobby ordered.  “Julie, get in your car and head down towards Hollows Road. Barney, Lenny, jump on those ATVs and check out the woods and the fields behind the yard.  Dean, grab a set of keys to one of those two cars you fixed in the main garage and head towards town.  I’ll get in my truck and check the road towards the strip mines.  And I’ll call Vihaan and have him take a ride through the trailer park.  Anyone finds anything, call me and I’ll call everyone else.  Get going, ya idjits!  The sun’s going down and the temperature is dropping fast.  It’s going to go down to the twenties tonight!  Find him!”

            I bolted towards the private garage and grabbed one set of keys.  I already knew which car I wanted.  The first time I’d laid eyes on the ancient beauty, I’d fallen in love.  The fact that she’d been on the losing end of an argument with a semi didn’t make a bit of difference.  She’d been the first thing I’d repaired when Bobby had sent me out here to work on the two “junkers” while he’d worked with Cas.  And in my spare time, I’d continued to work on her, replacing the windows, repairing or replacing the interior and the dented, rusted panels, repainting, polishing, and buffing until she shone.  Now the 1967 Impala’s engine purred as I got her on the road.  I’d already approached the subject of buying her with Bobby, who had smiled through his beard and said we’d work something out. Now my Baby – so what if I already thought of her as mine? – was eating up the road as I searched for my angel. I had no idea what to do.  Cas and I had gotten cell phones, but in less than a day he’d already torn his apart and integrated it into whatever he was building. If he was lost, hurt, or taken he had no way to call for help.  I had to find him!

            There were so many places in town that Cas could have gone, but there was one place I feared the most.  On the east end of town was a large house with a two-car garage and a wheelchair ramp leading up to the front porch.  It was, Bobby had warned us, the home of a wealthy, eccentric former college professor whose primary interest was robotics.  He was known informally around town as “The Doc.”  The Doc had lost his wife a couple years back, and lived alone with his disabled young son.  His large, wheelchair-accessible van was parked in the yard because the garage had been converted into a robotics workshop.  What would happen if the Doc got his hands on my angel was something I didn’t want to think about as I slowed down to drive past it.  How would I even know if Cas was inside?  I did a drive around the town, ending up idling outside the Doc’s house again.  My heart pounded.  What could I do?  I watched the house with my window down, full optics and enhanced hearing.  It didn’t seem anyone was home.  Should I go in, check around?  I had no issues with busting some egghead ass if this son of a bitch had laid so much as a finger on my angel!

            With my hearing cranked up, my phone ringing sounded like a gong hit right next to my head.  I swore, dropped my hearing back to normal levels, and answered.  “Dean?” Bobby’s voice told me.  “We got him.  Lenny found him lost out in the field.”

            “Oh, thank God!  I’m going to get him.”  I already had Baby turning around, oblivious to blaring horns and waving fingers as I drove right through oncoming traffic to get on the road towards the field.

            By conveniently ignoring posted speed limits and the occasional stop sign I made it out to the field in record time.  By now, the sun had gone down and it was dark and cold.  I saw Lenny, standing next to his ATV parked at the side of the road.  The lights on his vehicle were directed back towards the field where a figure was approaching, stumbling through the field on foot.  Lenny had an odd look on his face, looking from me to the figure and back. “What the hell?” I called as I climbed out.  “That field’s a muddy mess!  Why didn’t you ride him out here?!”

            “That thing got itself in there, it can get itself out,” Lenny announced. “I’m not riding on an ATV with your damned sex bot, Dean!”

            Oh shit.  I looked back at Cas and saw the lights of the ATV gleam golden off the side of the Angel’s head.  Cas had lost his ballcap, leaving his plate exposed.  It was in full view now as he stumbled closer, head down, looking like he was about to collapse any minute.  I groaned.  I’d deal with Lenny later.  Right now, the only thing I was interested in was running across the muddy field to reach my angel.

            Cas saw me and picked up his pace, stumbling and nearly falling by the time I reached him.  “I’m sorry,” he said between chattering teeth.  “I don’t know how I got out here!  He found me and he was nice at first.  He called Bobby, helped me onto his vehicle and we started driving back.  But then the wind blew my hat off.  He looked back at my plate, started swearing at me, pushed me off of his vehicle and drove off.  I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to follow him.  But I’m so cold, Dean!  My shoes got wet and I can’t feel my toes anymore!”

            It was heartbreaking, but it was the most he’d spoken to me in a week.  That, plus the way he was clinging to me, made me feel warm despite the chill in the wind.  “It’s ok, angel,” I soothed as I pulled off my coat and wrapped it around his shaking form.  Then I scooped him up into a bridal carry.  “I’m here.  I’ve got you.”

            He wrapped his arms around my neck.  “I wasn’t afraid.  I knew you would come.”

            “I’ll always come for you.  You know that, right?”

            He gave me a smile.  “Thumb index pinky?”

            “Thumb index pinky!”  Could he see just how stupidly happy that made me?

            He tightened his arms around my neck and pressed his plate against my cheek.  The metal was cool.  Not good.  I scanned him and saw no actual damage, but he was obviously hypothermic.  I had to get him warm, and fast.  I rushed back across the field, got Cas into Baby, and cranked up the heat.

            By now, Bobby’s truck had pulled up, along with Julie’s car.  Bless Julie, she had a mylar blanket in a roadside emergency kit in her car.  I saw her pause and her eyes go wide when I put Cas in Baby and she saw his plate, but she didn’t say anything.  She simply wrapped the blanket around him, helped me pull off his ruined shoes, and quietly told me to call if we needed anything.  “I’m so, so sorry Dean!” she told me.  “I only wanted to get you back for the oil in the face!  I never meant...!”

            “I know,” I told her.  I gave her a quick hug.  “Thank you for helping look for him!”

            Meanwhile, Bobby and Lenny were struggling to free the ATV.  It had sunk into the mud.  I came over, jerked it loose, and dragged it back to the road. Then I turned to Lenny.  “Let me explain something to you.  If Cas has any lasting issues from you pushing him off your bike and making him walk through that frozen field?  You and I are going to tango!”

            Lenny scoffed.  “What, you mean he’s not under warranty?”

            “Castiel is not a robot, alright?!  That plate is there because of a medical issue!”

            “His make, model, and function are carved into the side of it!”

            “And did any of that say ‘sex bot?’” I shot back.  “Next time you call him that, I’ll bust your head!  And as to you leaving him alone in the middle of that field?!”

            “Lenny, what the hell?!”  Bobby’s face darkened in anger.  “You shoved a handicapped man off your bike and left him stuck in the middle of a frozen mudfield in this weather?!”

            “Handicapped my ass!  He’s a damned robot!  What, did you buy him from the Doc?”

            I was seriously considering laying him out right there at the side of the road, preferably in the mud so he could find out first-hand just how cold it was. But Bobby was a step ahead.  He grabbed Lenny by the front of his coat and gave him a shake.  “Castiel is not a robot!  What he is is confused, scared, and halfway to hypothermia!  Only reason you don’t have my foot up your keister right now is because you did manage to find him.  So thank you for that!  Now get home, before I walk away and let you and Dean discuss this in private!”

            “My money’s on Winchester,” Julie called.

            Lenny narrowed his eyes at me, glanced at the ATV, and then looked back at me. “You’re pretty damned strong, ain’t ya, Winchester?”

            “Strong enough to kick your ass if you call my boyfriend a robot again! Bobby, I’m heading back and getting Cas into bed.”

            “I’m leaving too.  Lenny, far as I’m concerned, this ends here if you let it.  Bring it up again, well, that’ll be between you and Dean.  Now thank you for helping find Castiel.  Good night!”  And with that, my favorite grumpy old man grumped his way back to his truck.  Julie stopped by Baby to check on Cas one last time before she headed out as well. I heard the ATV starting up. Lenny gave me the finger as he drove past.  I returned it.

            I got in Baby and headed back.  The inside of the Impala was now stifling, but at least Cas was feeling better.  His plate was warm now when I touched it. His feet were cherry red, but didn’t appear to be frostbitten.  He was slumped in the seat, looking depressed.  “I’m sorry, Dean,” he said.

            “It’s ok, buddy.”

            “It’s not.”  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Then he held up his own hand, bending his middle two fingers to form the symbol for “I love you,” and frowned at it.  “Dean, this hand signal.  Did I carve ACTHUMBINDEXPINKYDW under the bed at the cabin?  Because I wanted physical proof that I loved you?”

            I nearly went off the road.  “Yes! Yes, you did!”

            “And you told me that you hoped someday you could say it back, but not until you were sure you meant it.  The day, when you tried to steal me?  You said it then.  But I didn’t remember.  That must have hurt you so much.”

            The pain of that still made me wince.  I kept driving, letting him say whatever was on his mind.

            “I still don’t remember, Dean,” he admitted.  “I’ve been pushing my processors, trying to put the pieces together into a solid memory, but I can’t.  There’s so much missing!  But I think I figured it out the common denominator in the missing memories.”  He held up his left arm, displaying the wristband. “It didn’t make sense why I wouldn’t have designed an interface for Project Samandriel, especially when a smartwatch design was such a perfect choice.  Why wouldn’t I have thought of that before?  The answer is, because I already did!  And when I try to cross-reference instances when I would have worked on the interfaces with missing segments of my memory involving you, there’s a lot that matches up.  I haven’t figured out how, but somehow, all of my memories concerning the interface wristbands have been deleted.  And since so many of them are connected with you...?”

            “That’s why you didn’t remember being in a relationship with me,” I finished with a groan.  “What the hell happened, Cas?”

            “It’s not damage,” he said.  “I’ve ruled out a virus.  It’s clean, just missing sections in my memory banks that are wiped.  It actually looks like those sections were deleted. And that means I must have done it!”

            “Why?”

            “I don’t know.  In all likelihood, it was something I did by mistake.  But I don’t know why I chose you, either, Dean.  In retrospect, the obvious choice for the main interface would have been one of my brothers, but for some reason I chose instead to give it to you.  And when I pushed through the error messages in my memory banks and retrieved my fragmented memories...?”

            He suddenly went quiet, but I felt the pads of his fingers gently brush my cheek. I reached up, closing my hand over his. “You’re beautiful, Dean,” he whispered. “You’ve treated me better than anyone outside of my brothers.  I can see myself falling in love.  And I think...”  He drew my hand in, placed against his plate and closed his eyes.  “I think I did.  I think I fell in love with you.  I think I _am_ in love with you.  I know I am.  I love you, Dean!  Did we... Did we really make love?”

            “Yeah, Cas,” I managed through the lump in my throat.  “We did.”

            He went quiet again, letting go of my hand and looking down.  I forced myself to put both of my hands on the wheel, ignoring the instinct to crush him to me.  By now, we’d pulled into Singer’s Salvage Yard.  I parked Baby outside of Bobby’s garage.  But neither of us made any move to go inside.

            Cas sat quietly in his seat, fingering his wristband.  “That’s why I gave you the main interface wristband, isn’t it?  To save you, like you said, because I was in love with you.”

            “I was pissed about it, at first, to be honest,” I admitted.  “Because you put it on me, without asking me, while I was asleep in the hospital.”  I told him about the argument we’d had, and how he’d finally agreed to take my band off. “You’d been trying to save me,” I told him.  “But you realized that my free will meant more to me than my life, so you were going to let me go.  That’s how you knew that you were in love with me, because you were willing to...” I trailed off, frowning at Cas. “Cas?  You ok?”

            Cas’s eyes had gone wide, his jaw dropped.  “Your free will means more to you than your life?  But Dean...!”  He groaned, buried his face in his hands.  “Oh, no.  Oh, no, no, no!  Oh, Dean, I’ve done something terrible!”


	26. Chapter Past - Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel confesses the truth about what really happened to Dean in the hospital, and triggers Dean's greatest fear

            Cas wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.  I took him inside, got him into his bed and Bobby and I fussed over him, making sure he was warm and no damage had been done.  But Cas wouldn’t speak.  He also wouldn’t let go of me.  He clung to my neck when I carried him up to his bedroom, and then clung to my hand when I put him down, flat-out refusing to let me go even to get his shirt changed, only switching hands.  It was like he thought I’d disappear if he dared to take his hands off of me.  He looked absolutely miserable.

            I knelt down beside the bed and held his hand, bringing both of our hands to my chest.  “Cas, please talk to me?” I pleaded.  “Whatever you did, we’ll get through it, alright?  I love you, angel!”

            “You won’t.”  His voice was flat.  “When you know what I’ve done, you won’t love me anymore!”

            I raised an eyebrow at him.  “Remember that whole ‘free will’ thing?  It’s up to me to decide if I’ll love you or not.  But honestly, whatever you did might piss me off, but I cannot imagine anything that could make me stop loving you!”

            He squeezed his eyes shut and gave a little moan.

            “Would it help if you told me first?” Bobby offered.  “We could have Dean step out, and...”

            “No!”  He clung fiercely to me, nearly dragging me into the bed on top of him.  “Dean, please don’t go!”

            “Ok, I’m here,” I soothed.  “It was just a suggestion.”

            “I know.  But if you leave now, I may never find the courage to tell you again.”  To my surprise, he reached a hand out to Bobby. “I need to tell Dean myself.  But I would very much appreciate it if you’d stay with me while I do it?”

            Bobby sat down on the bed and took Cas’s hand.  “Alright, boy.  Let’s hear what’s so terrible.”

            Cas held tight to my hand, and I saw his knuckles whiten as he held to Bobby. He swallowed and took a deep breath. “Dean, do you remember the restaurant? When the Huis rebels tried to steal me?”

            “‘Tried’ being the operative word there,” I stressed.

            Cas let go of my hand and traced his fingers over my right bicep, where I’d been shot.  “You were hurt,” he reminded.  “Your arm, you were shot.  And it was bad.”

            “I remember,” I told him.  “I remember looking down and seeing it flopping around, seeing that damage and thinking that there was no way I wouldn’t lose it.  But it all turned out just fine in the end, and I’ve got you to thank for that!  Because the nanites you invented saved the day!”

            I saw him flinch.  “No. No, Dean, they didn’t.  They couldn’t.  Your arm, the damage was just too much.  Surgical nanites can debride dead tissue and generate tissue growth in healthy cells, but your arm was burned clear through to the bone!  There wasn’t any healthy tissue for them to regenerate!  They couldn’t save your arm, Dean.  You lost it the next morning.”

            “Castiel, I think you’re a little confused,” Bobby said gently, echoing my thoughts.  “Dean’s got both of his arms, see?”

            Cas shook his head and clutched my right hand to his chest.  “He lost his right arm,” he insisted.  “It was his weapons arm, and he lost it!  My memories, they’re full of holes, and a lot of them are from that morning.  I don’t remember everything about it.  Mostly, I remember arguing with my brothers about stealing a prototype from our vaults, because it was already under contract.  Stealing it for Dean would cause a lot of trouble.  But I did it.  I know I did it because I also remember altering the records at the hospital so they’d use it on him!”

            I went still.  Something cold had settled in the pit of my stomach.  “Cas?  What are you saying?”  I looked down, saw my right hand where he clutched it against his chest, and turned on my diagnostics, dreading what I’d find.  Nothing.  Of course not.  I would have noticed fast if my worst fear had become a reality.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  “This is my natural hand, buddy.  I think Bobby’s right.  You’re just a little confused.”

            He closed his eyes, lowered his head.  “Dean, I stole a prototype I had only just created, one that was more advanced than anything else in the world!  It’s going to read normal on standard electrical diagnostics because that’s part of the requested design specifications!  You need to use the full setting, like you use on me.”

            I didn’t want to.  But I had to know.  I switched to full diagnostics.  And immediately, I saw it.  I gasped, pulling free of Cas’s hand and falling back, staring in horror at the readings I was seeing.  Mechanical joints and muscles.  Artificial nerves and synthetic flesh.  No.  I crawled backwards, never mind how absurd it was to try to crawl away from something attached from you.  Then I grasped the thing with my other arm, thinking to tear it off, but that was stupid too, wasn’t it?  The thing was fused onto me, bone and muscle and nerves and skin all meshed together just below my shoulder.  “No!” I groaned.  “No, you didn’t do this, you couldn’t have!  I have a living will, specifically stating that I never wanted anything like this! Cas, I’m a gold pin veteran!  I’m Chimera!  Don’t you know what that means?!”

            “Yes, Dean!  I read your file when I accepted you as my bodyguard, I know exactly what you are. And I invented Chimera!  I know precisely what it means!”

            “Then why?!” I exclaimed.  “How could you do this to me, especially if you knew?!”

            “Because I was selfish!”  He was crying, pale and shaking, his face full of self-loathing as he looked at me. “Because I wanted to keep you, for you to continue to be my bodyguard!  And because I loved you and I couldn’t stand to lose you, Dean! Gabriel tried to tell me it was wrong, but I didn’t understand.  And Lucifer stole the prototype for me because he didn’t understand either, and was only worried about the legality...”

            “The legality?!  That’s... Cas, how could you do this to me?!” I was on my feet now, yelling with my hands clenched.  “My living will very clearly states that I don’t want any artificial limbs and organs! There’s a reason for that, Castiel! If you know what it means to be Chimera, then you know that...”  I stilled, staring at my arm.  “This arm, you said it was a new prototype.  But you were working on defense contracts!  You said the specifications called for a prototype that couldn’t be recognized as mechanical under normal scans?”  My heart sank to the pit of my toes as I raised my arm and stared at it.  “That can’t...  It’s not... Castiel, is this arm Chimera, too?!”

            He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, as though expecting a blow.  Then he nodded.  “Yes.  That’s why I had to go to such lengths to get it for you, because it was already part of a defense contract.  I was trying to save you, Dean, but it was wrong!  It was so wrong, and I’m so, so sorry!”

            I turned slowly around in a circle, as though looking for an escape.  “No,” I moaned.  “No!!”

            “Dean, calm down,” Bobby advised.

            But I couldn’t calm down.  The fact he’d gone against my wishes was bad enough, but another Chimera enhancement?! I felt sick.  No.  Not again! My skin was crawling.  I felt like I’d just been violated.  There wasn’t enough air in the room.  I bolted out, raced down the stairs.  I could hear Bobby shouting behind me, but I couldn’t make out any words.  All I could hear was the roaring in my ears as I dove into Baby and tore out, heading into town.

            A minute later, I was at the bar, spending what little I’d received of my paycheck after our shopping trip on shot after shot.  Now the alcohol had my head in a nice little cloud to help dull the pain.  I was down to the cheapest beer in the place now, holding the bottle in my left hand and resting my right arm on the bar, staring at it.  It was impossible to tell it wasn’t real.  I’d noticed fairly quickly that my right arm was stronger and quicker than my left after my surgery.  I’d attributed it to my angel’s nanites tightening things up while they’d repaired the damage.  But the nanites hadn’t done anything more than attach this thing to me.  My arm was gone.  One more piece of my humanity lost.  One more way for someone to track me, control me the way they’d done in the military.  _Chimera._   Fuck me.

            I’d only agreed to join Special Forces and let them mutilate me even more for the bump in pay.  I’d been saving every penny I could pinch so that I could buy out Sammy’s draft.  But Sammy hadn’t taken my money.  My brother had followed the rest of the men in his family into the military and then gone to Heaven’s Angels when he got out rather than joining me in Purgatory.  Sammy was such a believer, a believer in humanity, in Chuck Shurley’s ideas, in the promise behind Heaven’s Angels.  He hadn’t seen the writing on the wall, even when the God of the Modern Age had abruptly turned the company over to the Angels and disappeared without a trace. So I’d tried to get my brother out the only way I knew how.  I’d gone into the city to meet him.  I’d had two tickets with me, my own round-trip ticket for myself, and a one-way ticket for him. 

            My foolproof plan to save my brother had included us taking off our pin backings and going for a casual stroll through the upscale neighborhood near the Heaven building.  We hadn’t been out on the street minding our own business for five minutes before the bullshit started, the hard looks, the people crossing the street to get away from us. And fifteen minutes into our stroll, on our way back, we’d been jumped by a bunch of assholes determined to kick our asses for the crime of being too poor to buy out the draft.  We’d bounced them off the sidewalk a few times before they got smart enough to stay down, getting away with only a few minor abrasions for ourselves.  Then we’d put our black-out backings back on and waited for the police.

            The police quickly arrived and immediately arrested the two of us for loitering.

            I think those few hours we spent in a cell were the closest I came to convincing Sammy.  But when Angel Gabriel showed up with an entourage to yell at the cops and get us out, Sammy had gone back into Heaven with him.  I’d gone with him as far as the lobby, listened politely as Gabe gave me a bullshit spiel about if I ever needed a job to just leave my name for him at the front desk.  Then I’d gone into the bathroom for an epic screaming match with Sam.  It had ended poorly.  He’d stormed out and gone back to Angel Gabriel, and I’d left Heaven determined to never go back again.

            Three weeks later, Sammy called me.  Then, towards the end of September, he started sending me cryptic messages. His last message to me was that he’d left me something with Gabriel.  It ended with only three words – “You were right.”

            A week after that, my brother was dead, and I was making plans.  Before my brother was in the ground for a year, I was leaving my name at Heaven’s front desk for Angel Gabriel.  Agreeing to have the Angeli Quinque optics upgrade was probably the toughest decision I’d ever made.  It had been simple, some drops in my eyes to numb them, a couple of quick, painless pokes, then a bit of a wait in complete darkness until they integrated and my vision returned.  That had been the worst part, being blind and helpless and knowing I was on the books. Then the enhancements tested well and Lucifer blacked me out again.  But the moment it was done and I was back off the books, I’d gotten into my personal records and changed my living will, using clear language to tell the whole world to never put another cybernetic enhancement into my body again.

            I’d been stupid enough to believe that I’d be safe, that the supposedly-unbreakable laws surrounding living wills would protect me.  I should have known better.  If Angeli Quinque was involved, no one was ever safe.  But I’d never imagined that my own sweet angel, my Castiel, would ever put more Chimera enhancements into me against my will.

            I heard a familiar voice, glanced over into the corner, and saw Lenny and Barney, drinking with a few other guys I didn’t know.  I looked away, not wanting anything to do with them right now. But naturally, Lenny and Barney came over to me.  “Have a fight with your boyfriend?” Barney asked me.

            “As a matter of fact, I did.”  I threw down the last of the money in my pocket and signaled for another beer. “And if you don’t mind, I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

            “Can’t you just, like, reprogram him?”

            “For the last time, he’s not a robot!” I snapped.

            Barney jerked a thumb towards Lenny.  “Lenny says he is.”

            “Lenny’s an idiot.”

            “You want to step outside and say that?!” Lenny offered.

            Fuck it.  I got up and stormed outside, gesturing for him to follow.  I turned, saw that all their drinking buddies had followed Lenny out with Barney, and nodded.  Then I looked Lenny in the eye.  “Hey Lenny? You’re a fucking idiot!”

            It wasn’t much of a fight.  Lenny, along with being an idiot, was also drunk, fat, and had no conception of how to fight.  I actually took a couple of punches that I could have dodged or blocked easily just to prolong things a little before I pounded the dumb shit.  It wasn’t even enough to activate my combat mode.  I left him groaning on the pavement and turned to the others.  “Anyone else want to be an idiot?” I offered.

            No one met my gaze.

            I went back inside, finished my beer.  I stayed as I was, staring down at my now-empty bottle, aware that someone had come up and was standing quietly next to me.  “I need some space right now,” I called.

            “No, Dean.  You need to talk to me.”  Naturally, Castiel would pick now to be a stubborn shit.  He climbed onto the bar stool next to me.

            I looked over at him, saw him looking sadly back at me.  Bobby had given him another hat.  He was back in the coverall he’d been working in, but at least he’d changed his ruined shoes.  The tail of the familiar trench coat stuck out from under Bobby’s heavy winter coat.  It would have been comical if he didn’t look like a whipped puppy.  I looked around, avoiding meeting those eyes.  “Where’s Bobby?”

            “At the house.”

            “At the house?  Then how’d you get here?”

            He shrugged.  “I drove his truck.  I’m an engineer, Dean, I could figure out the basics of driving a truck.”

            “Yeah, I guess you could.”  I was pretty damned impressed.  He’d not only figured out how to drive, but he’d even managed to stay focused enough to find me, apparently.  But it made no real difference.  I’d raised my right hand and was staring at it again, opening and closing the hand. “Castiel, I’m not ready to forgive you for this, alright?  I don’t know when I will be.  Or even if I will be!”

            “I know.  And I’m not here to ask you to forgive me.  I have no right to ask that.”

            “Then why are you here?”

            “Because I love you,” he said simply.  “And because you’re hurting, and you appear to be intoxicated, and it’s not safe for you to drive in this condition.  Dean, what I did to you was unforgiveable for a lot of reasons.  I disregarded your wishes, your free will. I didn’t know how you felt about Chimera, but that doesn’t matter because I know what it means.  Whatever you agreed to in the military, you didn’t agree to this.”

            “You’re damned right I didn’t agree to this!” I snarled, turning on him. “And truth is, I didn’t agree to it in the service, either!  They told us that we’d be further enhanced, that they’d make us stronger, faster, give us all these advantages.  But they never told us what we were giving up in return!  You turned us into monsters, Castiel!  And you never even thought about what it meant, did you, when you invented those enhancements?  You were just fulfilling a contract!  But your so-called brothers?  They knew exactly what they were doing!”

            He never even flinched, watching me with his sad, unblinking gaze.  “Come and talk to me.  We need to talk this over, so it doesn’t fester and grow worse until it tears us apart.  Please, Dean?”

            I sighed.  Then I nodded, got up, and followed him out the door and into the streets.


	27. Chapter Past - Chimera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean try to talk things out and discuss the ghosts of their past

            For once, it was me that was wandering aimlessly, trudging through the streets and alleys near the bar with no real destination in mind while Castiel trailed after me.  He walked with his head down, one hand gently holding my sleeve and the other shoved into the pocket of Bobby’s coat, not saying a word.  He didn’t try to push me.  He didn’t try to break the ice.  He was just there.  And it was the best thing he could be.  My anger, my hurt, and the incredible sense of betrayal I was feeling rolled and boiled inside of me.  I was like a volcano ready to erupt.  If he’d tried to push me now, I knew, chances were high I’d lash out, say something I might not mean and sever that fragile thread that linked us forever.

            “What you did to me?” I finally said.  “It’s sickening.”

            “I know.”

            “That’s all you have to say?!”

            “Yes.  And you’re wrong about me.  Dean, I created the Chimera system and the implants before I lost Samandriel and became, well, this.”  He indicated his head.  “I was different then.  Even now, I never just do a project when I don’t understand exactly what it is the requested specifications are, but back then, I was always very methodical.  I understood exactly what it was that I was making.”

            Something twisted inside of me.  “And you still did it?”

            “Yes.  We’d accepted the contract.”

            “You son of a bitch!”  I stopped, faced him.  “You knew what you were doing, and you still made Chimera?!”

            His eyes were empty as he looked back at me.  “Yes.  I knew exactly what I was making.  Chimera is an Angel interface, designed for human soldiers to allow them to be directly linked to either an Angel, preferably Lucifer, or the battlefield computer systems his section utilizes.  Chimera soldiers can be closely monitored.  Orders can be directly transmitted through the network or battlefield coms with little or no risk of interception because they use our Defense section coding.  The enhancements offer the highest level of speed, strength, coordination, and resilience on the market.  And they are capable of being utilized to directly enforce orders.”

            “Directly enforce orders,” I whispered.  “That’s the real selling point, isn’t it?  Lucifer or anyone on his payroll can get on a computer and link right into my enhancements at any time!  And they did, Castiel!  They sent us on a mission, counterterrorism.  We’d already captured the terrorists behind the bombing, but the brass wanted more.  They wanted an example made, terrorism against terrorists, so that no one else would ever try it again.  So they sent us in, told us to take out everyone in this building.  Except when we got there, we didn’t find any combatants. There were a few guards that we took down easily, but the rest was just family members, mothers and kids and elderly. That’s who they wanted us to kill, Castiel!  Innocent family members, just to send a message!  And when we refused those orders, right down to the last man? That’s when they activated us, and we found out what Chimera could really do!”

            I stalked forward, breathing hard with my fists clenched at my side to glare down at the Angel.  “They took me over, Castiel!  I felt numb, like I was watching myself starring in a movie, shot through my own eyes. I watched myself gun those innocent people down!  And when they let me go and I came back to myself, realized that my enhancements had just let some asshole at a computer terminal use me like a puppet?!  How do you think I felt then, huh?!  You know, they had to re-activate the Chimera controls almost immediately to extract us, because three guys promptly blew their own brains out?!  And the rest of us needed extensive psychological treatment!  We were the first, Castiel, the Guinea pigs, the first successful use of Chimera in the field to directly enforce orders.  And despite those three loses, we were considered a massive success!  They kept right on using us, keeping an eye on us through the implants to make sure no one else did away with himself, sending us on mission after mission until I was just numb to it.  And the irony of it was that they never had to activate Chimera and force us again! We were all so broken by the knowledge that they could take us over at any time that we obeyed any order given to us! We were the poster boys for the success of the Chimera program.  Now all the special ops soldiers get Chimera, and until you’re blacked out, every one of us could be activated again with the click of a button, just like that!”  I snapped my fingers.

            Castiel never flinched.  He stood as he was, mutely watching, and my anger, my rage, only grew.  “You knew!” I roared.  “You knew what you were doing, what it would do to us, and you did it anyway! You made those enhancements, turned us into puppets Lucifer could activate with a thought, and you never batted an eye!  Why?!”

            “Because I’m a machine,” Castiel said quietly.  “I had little concept of empathy, no understanding of free will. It made perfect sense to me that soldiers be capable of falling completely under control of the Defense section because that would make them better soldiers!  If anything, I thought it was an advantage.  After all, by removing any human hesitation, ensuring Chimera soldiers would immediately follow orders, the war would end quickly, saving lives and reducing damages.  I never once considered what it would be like for the individual soldiers because that’s not how I’m built!”

            “And not one of you even questioned it?!”

            “Yes, one of us did.”

            “Let me guess.  Samandriel?”

            “Gabriel,” Castiel corrected, surprising me.  “He questioned it, said he was uncomfortable writing the codes for the project because they would allow for human free will to be completely overwritten.  And he went to Samandriel, and Samandriel protested.  Samandriel doesn’t contract the way we do.  He didn’t know anything about the project until Gabriel came to him with his concerns.  But by then we’d already accepted the contract, and I’d already had the prototypes made, ready for Gabriel to code for Lucifer.  Of course he did his job, and by the time Samandriel made a formal protest, the prototypes were already sent out.”

            “And that was that.  The new enhancements went into me and my unit, and the rest is history.”

            He never looked away.  “Yes, Dean. And once Samandriel was gone, I never gave it another thought.  When I knew you would lose your arm, I never hesitated about putting a Chimera arm onto you, implanting the new processors into your head, just so I could keep you as my bodyguard.”

            “And now what?” I demanded.  I was breathing hard, standing with my face inches from Castiel’s.  “What happens now, if I go back on the books?”

            “Now?  With the new processors I had installed for your arm, and so much of your body modified for Chimera?  I believe it will be easier than ever to completely override your free will.  With the sensors we have built into our fingertips, we wouldn’t even need the wireless jack.  I could take you over just by holding your hand.”

            My hands came up, both my own and the abomination that he’d latched onto me, and closed around his throat.  Castiel offered no resistance at all.  His Angel armoring that could have easily saved his life stayed down.  He simply closed his eyes and waited.  One of his hands came up, not to clutch at mine and try to tear them away, but to hover in front of my face.  Thumb index pinky.  American Sign Language for “I love you.”

            I shook, my hands tight around his throat.  All I had to do was squeeze, and here he was, letting me do it, accepting the fate he deserved.  Already, I could hear the rasp in his breathing as his body fought for air.  A little more, and he’d stop breathing altogether.  The faces of the dead flashed before my eyes.  Those people we’d murdered for being related to terrorists.  The fellow Green Berets in my squad who’d killed themselves immediately after that first mission.  Those who’d killed themselves later when we finished our tour and the military finally let us go and stopped watching us closely enough to keep us from doing it.  In the end, the only ones still alive from that first Chimera squad were me and Adam Bartholomew.  I didn’t know why Bartholomew had stayed alive, maybe just because he was too big of a bastard to kill himself.  I’d lived for Sammy.  Then, when I’d lost Sammy, the only thing that had kept me alive was revenge.  But now, when I could take it, when I had my hands wrapped around the throat of the one who had created the implants that destroyed my life, I simply couldn’t do it.

            I let him go with a groan and turned away, covering my face with my hands in a futile attempt to stop the sobs from escaping.  “Damn you, Castiel,” I whispered.  “Damn you!”

            Behind me, I heard him coughing harshly.  But then a pair of gentle hands took my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face.  His hands were cold as they brushed the tears from my cheeks.  “Project Samandriel will only work once more, to bring us forward. After that, my personal timeline will be altered too much to tap into it again.  I can’t change what I’ve done to you, Dean.  Likewise, I cannot change who, or what, I am, no more than you can.  But I love you.  I think it’s possible that I may never stop loving you.”

            My resolve broke.  I grabbed him, crushed him to me and pressed my lips to his, one mortally flawed, broken man kissing another.  I kissed him, over and over again until the sobs finally eased.  Then I just stood there, holding him tight against my chest, and breathed him in.  “My angel,” I whispered.

            “I’m no angel.”

            “I know.  And I think I love you even more because of it.”

****

            I held Cas’s hand in my pocket, keeping it warm.  He seemed to like it.  He walked closely pressed against my side with a little smile on his face. His eyes kept looking over at me. “I can do it,” he told me.

            “Do what?”

            “Connect with the time distortion from Project Samandriel.  I was able to get readings on it this morning.  So long as we don’t make any major changes to the timeline, I shouldn’t have any problem connecting.”

            That made me pause.  “So, you can go back?”

            “No. I can get readings on it, but that’s it. The technology in this time just isn’t there.  I need Angeli Quinque tech, and right now, most of that is here.”  He tapped his head.  “If I link my device to my computer and attain the correct velocity, I can, in theory, connect to Project Samandriel and return to a preset time. But to use my own computer with the processors available in this timeline would almost immediately put me at approximately 50% on my indicators.”

            “Not seeing the problem?”

            He sighed.  “The problem, Dean, is that’s too much,” he explained patiently.  “Do you recall how, when we first got here, my indicators were at 85% even though I hadn’t been on the jack?  Well, the reason why is that Project Samandriel’s control framework is still in my computer.  That’s something I never accounted for when I set the project up.  Since I couldn’t count on being near a jack when I had to use it, I never included the use of a jack and therefore didn’t consider my own capacity. But an unexpected side effect of the device activating is that it charges my nervous system in a manner nearly identical to the jack.  That’s why it triggered my indicator.  My new device will absolutely require me to be on the jack because there is no other way to integrate it with my computer.  But with those old processors, it’s going to create a massive load on my nervous system just to boot it all up, even before I obtain the correct velocity!  My calculations are that it will bring my indicators to approximately 50%, and that, combined with the 85% we know I’ll trigger when the actual device activates, means...”

            “Overload!”  I shook my head.  “You’re right.  You can’t do this, Cas!  That’s a massive overload!  So how do you drop the figures to only, what, 15% from 50%?”

            He slumped.  “I can’t,” he admitted.  “There just isn’t enough modern technology with the advanced processors I need available in this time.  And I simply don’t have the resources available to create it!  Maybe, in a few decades, I can manage something, but right now?”  He spread his hands.

            “It’s not so bad,” I assured him, slipping an arm around his shoulders as we started walking back towards the bar.  “You can keep working on it, and we’ll stay with Bobby until I can get us a place. That is, if you want to stay with me?”

            “I do.”

            His choice of words made me smile.  Fuck it.  I dropped to one knee, right there on the wet pavement in the dark and cold and clutched at his hands.  “I love you,” I told him.  “I still haven’t forgiven you for what you’ve done to me, and maybe part of me never will. But I knew when I started as your bodyguard that you were the one who made the Chimera implants.  It was something that I reminded myself of on a damned near daily basis, trying to keep myself from falling for you. Soldiers were being modified every day, turned into puppets and sent through the war machine to be ground up and spit out. Hell, I was there when you guys went to war against the Huis rebels!  I even approved of it, knowing Luc would no doubt be using Chimera, because I was so pissed they’d hurt you!  So I honestly have no business judging you for your part in it, because I knew all about it and I fell in love with you anyway.  I don’t know what’s going to happen, ok?  Maybe this will end up tearing us apart, but right now, you’re all I want. Marry me, Angel Castiel?”

            His eyes grew wide.  “M-marry? You want to marry me?”

            “Yeah, that would be the point of being down here on the ground, Cas, getting soaking wet with freezing cold dirty water.”  I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.  “Please say yes?”

            “I...”  He swallowed hard.  Then he grabbed my hand and put it on his plate, almost like a ritual.  “Yes!  I’ll marry you!  Yes, of course!”

            I jumped up, grabbed him, kissed him some more.  Did I forgive him, hell no.  I hadn’t lied about that.  I had no doubt it would hit me later and cause no end of problems.  But the truth was, it was done.  I was already full of Chimera enhancements.  What the hell difference was one more?  And even though Cas had betrayed my trust in a way I honestly didn’t know if I could ever really recover from, I’d done the same thing to him up on that roof.  Maybe now we could just start over?

            “Put your hands in the air, and no one gets hurt!  We just want the robot!”

            “Oh, you have got to be shitting me!”  I looked up, saw a group of idiots with stockings over their heads and pistols in their hands waiting for us at our vehicles.  “Seriously, Barney?  You didn’t learn from me beating the shit out of Lenny, and you seriously want to try this shit right now?!”

            Barney swore.  “Just give us the fucking robot!”

            “He’s not a robot.  He’s my fiancé!”  I was on Barney in an instant, and this time, I wasn’t holding back.  I grabbed his gun arm and gave it a squeeze and a harsh shake. I could feel the bones snap even before he screamed.  Then I was moving, tearing through the other three assholes.  It was actually a little cathartic to be venting frustration.

            Still, I had been drinking, and even with my hyped-up reflexes in full combat mode, I was an instant too slow to see the flash of the knife coming towards my chest. I managed to block it by throwing up my right arm, and ended up with the blade sticking out of it.  “Son of a bitch!” I yelled, yanking it out and throwing it away.  It may be synthetic, but my new arm still hurt like hell.

            “Holy fuck, what the hell are you?!” the man howled.

            “I’m the guy who’s going to pick you up and snap you in half if you don’t get the hell away from my fiancé!”

            “Stop, you piece of shit, or I’ll blow your fucking brains out!”

            I looked up, saw Barney was back up.  He’d retrieved his weapon and was aiming it at me from where he crouched at the ground.  Too far to grab it.  Nothing to throw at him since I’d just stupidly thrown that knife away.  Shit, this was going to hurt.  I got up anyway.  “Don’t miss!”

            I have to admit, I was surprised the son of a bitch actually fired.  I instinctively twisted to the side, trying to dodge even as my optics registered the blur of another figure racing forward, jumping between us just as the gun went off.

            Cas yelped and fell back.  I caught him, set him back on his feet, and snarled.  I raced around my angel, grabbed the weapon out of a shocked Barney’s hand, and belted him across the face with it three times.  Then I dragged him up, intentionally holding tight to his broken wrist, and twisted him around, catching my hand under his chin.

            “Dean!” Cas yelled behind me.  “Don’t kill him!  Remember when we are!”

            I grimaced.  Turning him back around, I threw Barney roughly on the ground.  “If you ever come near Castiel again?” I snarled.  “I will fucking kill you!”

            Everything in me wanted to kill him anyway.  But this was 2018.  I had no idea what Barney might have in his future, or, more importantly, who he might affect.  If I took the miserable piece of shit out of the food chain now, I had no doubt that the lives of those living in 2018 would be significantly improved.  But I couldn’t take the chance that his death, while no-doubt satisfying now, could have unforeseen effects in seven decades. It could be a major change in the timeline, one that we simply couldn’t let happen if Cas had any chance to get Project Samandriel to work again.

            He’d clearly had enough anyway.  Barney managed to struggle to his feet and start limping away.  I looked at his asshole buddies and saw them already running, shooting terrified glances back over their shoulders at us.  Based on the heat signatures, one of them had literally pissed his pants.  That made me feel awesome.

            I turned to Cas.  “You alright, Cas?  That must have hurt like a bitch!”

            “It did not feel good,” he admitted, rubbing at his chest.  “There may be a bruise.”

            I came around the front of him, quickly opened the front of his coat and the shirt under it, and pressed a kiss to the gleaming golden Angel armor. “Sorry, angel.  You shouldn’t have done that.”

            “Projectile weapons are little threat to an Angel, but they might have killed you,” Cas pointed out, closing his coat again.  Then he grabbed my right arm, pushing back the sleeve to inspect the damage.

            “No blood,” I noted.

            “I didn’t include that in the specs, so it’s expected.  No real damage, either, other than to the synthflesh.  But it was a clean cut and should heal with little to no scarring.  Looks like it didn’t hit any major components.  That’s very lucky.”  He kissed my arm and pushed my sleeve back down.  “None the less, we have a serious problem on our hands, Dean.  It’s unlikely that this will be the last attempt to steal me, nor is it likely that we will be able to convince them that I’m not actually a robot.  Even if they do understand my true nature, my presence in this time is a significant anomaly.”  The blue eyes were solemn.  “I can’t stay here.”

            “We. We can’t stay here.  We’re engaged to be married now, so it’s we all the way from here on out.”  I took his hand.  “The problem is that you don’t have enough modern tech to keep from stressing your systems, right?  Well, how about top-of-the-line Angeli Quinque tech, already set up so you can jack into it with no modifications?”

            “What do you...”  He paused, his eyes widening in understanding as I raised his hand, still caught in my right hand.  “Dean! You want me to...?!  But I’d have to put you back on the books to be able to fully access your enhancements!”

            I shrugged.  “So?  The books don’t exist right now, Cas!  You’re an Angel and I’m Chimera, which means you can tap into my processors easy with just the wireless jack, right?”

            “I’d have to be in fairly close proximity, but yes.  In fact, if I returned the interface wristband, wired your arm directly into the device and then activated your Chimera implants, I could, in essence, turn you into the activating interface!  But it would be very difficult for you, Dean.  That kind of strain on your processors could potentially do lasting damage to your body!”

            “Chance I’m willing to take.”  I looked at him, suddenly serious.  “Cas, Chimera turned me into a killing machine.  If you can use it now to turn me into something else, something that can save you?  I’ll call that karma.  Bottom line. Will it work?”

            He frowned, his eyes flickering as his computer ran the figures.  Then he nodded.  “It could, potentially, bring the load on my own nervous system down to a minimum of 10%, well below the 15% threshold I’d have to maintain to prevent overload.  But we’d still need to obtain a velocity that’s a bit more than we did the first time.”

            My mind flashed back to a movie I’d watched with Bobby, one involving a young man traveling back in time and meeting his parents.  “Eighty-eight miles an hour?”

            “No, where would you get a speed like that?  I’d have to check, but the speed is likely to be closer to ninety-five miles an hour.”

            I grinned, still thinking of that movie.  “I got just the thing!  We load your device in Baby and you wire me up.  Then we get Bobby to drive her someplace nice and flat and open, and poof! Back to the future!”

            Cas was frowning at me with his head tilted and his eyes squinting in confusion. “Dean?  Did you just refer to your car as ‘Baby?’”

            “Yeah, so?”

            He sighed.  “You’re a very strange man.”

            “Yeah,” I agreed, taking his hand again and resuming our trip back to the vehicles.  “But you’re marrying me, so what’s that make you?”


	28. Chapter Past - Timelines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean must do whatever it takes to maintain the timeline.

            We were ready.  Cas’s wild-looking contraption was loaded into my Impala, wires snaking through openings it had broken my heart to drill through the back leading from the trunk to wind their way up to the cigarette lighter.  My lovely old girl was set to go, full of gas, well oiled, and purring like a kitten as I parked her in front of Bobby’s house.  I switched off the engine and just sat there, enjoying the feel of the driver’s seat for the last time.  “You did good, Baby,” I crooned, running a hand reverently over the dash. “You served me real well while I was here and I was damned proud to have you.  Now you’re gonna get us back.  And they’ll never make anything as perfect as you again!”  I put a kiss on my fingers and planted it on the dash.  Holy hell, would I miss this car.  Sorry, Cas, but the AQ Hovercars just couldn’t hold a candle.

            Yeah, ok, I was getting overly sentimental about a car.  So what?  I’d fallen in love with my Baby.  Now, it almost felt as if I’d be leaving a little bit of my soul behind when I left her.

            I was still feeling sentimental when I climbed out and headed towards the house. That’s my excuse, the only one I’ve got for why I wasn’t doing my job, paying attention to my surroundings. Because the next thing I knew, something was jabbing into my side and electricity was shooting through my system. I went down like a ton of bricks. 

            “Ha! Knives and bullets don’t work, but the taser sure as hell does!”

            Naturally, my implants were all shielded, so no harm done there, but my brains sure got rattled for a few seconds.  By the time I came back to myself, my arms had been dragged back behind me.  Something hard, heavy, and cold closed around one wrist, and something similar was in the process of closing around the other.

            I pulled my arms around quickly, getting free of the hands holding me to get my palms down on the ground, push myself up.  Cursing erupted around me.  “He’s getting up!  Hit him again!”

            Holy fuck did that shit suck.  Once more, electricity flashed through me, scrambling my brains and laying me out. I groaned, struggled, and realized they’d succeeded in locking up both of my hands, chains dragging them behind my back.  No.  I was caught, heavy metal manacles confining my arms.  More cuffs trapped my ankles.  My attackers lifted me up a bit, wrapped the chains from the manacles on my wrists around me, dragging on my wrists back, crossing them behind my back and further confining my arms to my sides.  Then the chains were secured with a padlock.  I twisted around, saw it was heart-shaped.  The manacles on my wrists, I realized, had some sort of purple velvet lining.  A jungle leopard print covered the cuffs at my ankles.  The fuck?!  What sort of kinky-ass sex shop had they gotten these things from anyway?  I didn’t want to know.  No matter how stupid they looked, the problem was that they were effective.  No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get out of the stupid things.  That was a serious problem.  Of course, my primary concern was what they had planned for Cas. “Leave him alone!” I yelled. “Just stay the hell away from him!”

            “Where’s the other one?”

            “Inside with Singer, but never mind!  This is the more advanced version anyway.  Drag him in and let’s get the hell out of here!”

            What?

            I was being lifted, thrown into the back seat of an SUV.  Then the vehicle was squealing away.  By now, I’d largely recovered from the double attack.  I’d already recognized the voices of Lenny, Barney, and at least one of their idiot friends from the bar.  I should have known they’d pull something stupid after Bobby fired their sorry asses.  But I couldn’t figure out why they’d taken me.  My first thought was they were trying to neutralize me, clear the way for an attack on Cas.  But what Barney had said, calling me “the more advanced version?”  That confused the hell out of me.  It seemed that I was actually the intended target!  What the hell did they want me for?  Didn’t matter.  Regardless of why they’d taken me, I was furious that they’d done it. We did not have time for this.  I couldn’t leave Cas undefended!  Once Bobby realized something had happened to me, I had no doubt he’d take precautions to defend my angel.  But Bobby was an old man, and these bastards had already proven they weren’t above using deadly force to get what they wanted. I had to get out!

            I snarled, twisted around on the seat, drew back and kicked hard at the side of the vehicle.  The cheap plastic covering shattered, the glass in the window cracked, and the car jerked a bit.  “Let me go before I bust your heads!”

            “Holy shit, you’re right!” Idiot One whooped.

            “Strong as hell and glowing green eyes, just like you said!” Idiot Two agreed.

            “I told you!” Lenny crowed.  “I fucking told you, Mark!  Singer found two of ‘em somewhere, but the other one’s not nearly as advanced as this one. You can tell it’s a robot just by the way it acts and talks, plus it’s missing part of the covering on its head. But this one?  Hell, we worked with the guy and had no idea!  I mean, I suspected when he pulled that ATV out of the mud and how he knocked me around at the bar that he was maybe something more than human.  But if Barney hadn’t tried for that other one and saw his eyes glowing, and then saw him pull a knife out of his arm without a drop of blood?  We never would have known for sure!”

            Of course.  The glow from my combat optics would have been easy to see in the darkened streets during my fight with Barney and his friends.  But the rest of it made me laugh.  “Wait a minute.  You think I’m a robot?!  Whatever, get this shit off of me!”

            Idiot Two, Mark apparently, ignored this.  He was looking thoughtfully at me.  “How much do you think he’s worth?”

            “Millions, easy!” Barney predicted.  He waved his arm, now in a cast, back at me.  “I’ll have more than enough to make up for this after I sell your robot ass, Winchester!”

            “To who?!” I countered.  “What, you idiots actually think you can sell me?  That’s what this is about?!  I’m not a robot, alright?  I’m just a soldier, enhanced by the government!  I’ve got cybernetic components, but my body’s human!”

            “The government?!”  Barney was eyeing me in the rearview mirror now as he drove.

            “Would you stop with your paranoia about the government, Barn?!” Lenny exclaimed. “He’ll say anything to get us to let him go!  Relax, we’ve got him!”

            Unfortunately, they were right.  Until I could get out of these chains, I was very much at their mercy.  Fine.  I’d just have to wait for my chance.  Meanwhile, I’d twisted around on the seat again and I launched another kick, this one to the rear corner of the seat in front of me.  The seat shuddered and Idiot One was propelled forward to slam into the back of the driver’s seat.  “Next time, wear a seatbelt,” I told him.  “Safety first!”

            “Can’t you shut him off or something?” Idiot One wanted to know, climbing back up amid a mixture of swearing and laughter.

            “I’ll shut you off, you son of a bitch!”  I struggled with the chains.  They didn’t budge.  “Come on, dammit!  I’m not a robot!  Let me go!”

            “Hit him with the damned taser again!”

            “No! You’ll damage him!  Lucky you didn’t already, you dumb shit!”

            “I didn’t hear any other suggestions when we were talking about taking him!”

            “Where the hell are you taking me?!” I roared, kicking the seat again and making Idiot One jump with a curse.  “You can’t sell me because I’m not a robot!”

            “Yeah, we’ll see what that damned prof says.”

            I had no idea what a “Prof” was.  I imagined it was some sort of salvage buyer or pawn broker, if they really thought I was a robot and they could sell me.  But it seemed clear they had no intention of letting me go. Fine.  I let loose with a series of kicks, destroying the seat in front of me, the back of the seat I was in, the panel, and the window.  The result was a loud argument about the merits of using the taser on me again, followed by a dog pile where they dragged me out of the seat, threw me onto the floor, and dove on top of me.  I gave them one hell of a time.  By the time Barney pulled over and turned off the SUV, he was driving a vehicle with a badly damaged interior and three sore, sorry douchebags.

            I thought they’d let me up when we got where we were going, but they didn’t. The douchebags three kept me pinned down, straining to hold me in place.  Already, they were panting and sweaty, holding me down with all their strength as they braced against the seats or the sides of the vehicle.  Meanwhile, I was just lying there on the floor, not struggling at all while they wore themselves out.  I’d turned up my hearing a bit, listening as Barney went in the house and talked to someone.  Now two sets of feet were coming towards the SUV.  Alright.  I couldn’t get free, couldn’t get the douche patrol off of me, so I wasn’t going anywhere. But I wasn’t out of options.  I’d learned how to do more than just fight in the special forces.

            When the door opened, revealing a smiling Barney and a frowning, grey-haired, elderly Asian man, I was ready.  “Help me!” I cried.  “I’ve been kidnapped!  Please, call the police!”

            My instructors had told me I was a hell of an actor.  Now I’d managed to put a little tremor of fear in my voice.  I strained, looking up at the older man with big, pleading eyes, the picture of a terrified kidnapping victim.

            It worked.  The old man’s eyebrows flew up, his hands raised and he backed away.  “What is this?  I want no part of any kidnapping scheme!  You told me you were here to sell a highly-advanced robot prototype!”

            “That’s it!”  Barney wasn’t smiling now.  He looked a little wild-eyed as he pointed at me.  “Come on, professor!  Look at what he did to the inside of the car!  No human can do that!  I’m telling you, Doc, this guy’s an advanced robot!”

            Now I’d figured it out.  This was the Doc, the retired professor who specialized in robotics.  I’d heard the guys in the garage mention him, that he’d inherited a lot of money from his family and was independently wealthy.  No wonder they’d brought me here.  I should have known.  Well, nothing for it now but to keep up the act.  “Please!” I pleaded.  “They’re crazy, get them off of me!”  I bit my lip, making sure to draw blood.  “Look, see?  Human blood! Please, just get help, call the police!”

            Now everyone was shouting.  My little stunt had even thrown some doubt into some of my captors.  “Robots don’t bleed!”

            “He didn’t bleed before!” Barney insisted.  “He had a knife stuck clear through his arm, and no blood!”

            “He’s bleeding now!”

            “Just how drunk were you, Barn?”

            “This is nuts!  He’s obviously human!”

            “Get him into your lab, Doc, and check him out!” Lenny yelled over everyone else. “He’s a robot, but he’s obviously designed to mimic humans, so no surprise he’d have some kind of synthetic blood.  Just open up your lab, let us drag him in, and run some tests!”

            I did not care for the sound of tests.  But now I’d trapped myself.  I couldn’t let on that I was stronger than a regular human, and that meant I couldn’t put up too much of a fight.  I amped up my act instead, screaming for help, doing my very best Terrified Kidnap Victim impersonation.  Meanwhile, I squirmed and twisted, careful to curb my strength while at the same time making it as tough as possible for them to carry me in.

            The “lab” in Doc’s repurposed garage was loaded down with electronic equipment, diagrams, bits and pieces of circuit boards and wiring.  Cas would have had a field day.  There was a large work table in the middle of the room.  I was put there.  They unlocked the chains around me, dragging hard on them to pull my arms down to the sides of the table despite my struggles.  Then they secured the chains, wrapping them under the table and then around my waist.  The result was that my arms were pulled off the side of the table and held down, while my body was fastened to the table.  They got more chains from somewhere, used them to further secure my legs. Not good, but even if I’d fought my hardest, five determined men dragging on the chains probably could have overpowered me.  Meanwhile, I was still going on the whole time about how I’d do anything they wanted, don’t hurt me, please call the police, let me go, and please, professor, how could you just stand by and let them do this to me?  That last bit was a nice touch.  I saw the old man wince.  “Um, are you absolutely positive he’s actually a robot?” Doc ventured meekly. “He seems quite adamant he isn’t, and I have to say, I haven’t seen anything so far that indicates he’s anything but human!”

            “Just run some fucking tests, Doc!”

            Doc jumped.  He swallowed hard and moved to one of his shelves, where he selected a weird device. I didn’t know what it did and didn’t want to find out.  I cringed. “Don’t hurt me,” I pleaded, giving him my best terrified victim eyes.  “Please, just let me go and call the police!”

            “This won’t harm you in any way.  It’s only a flashlight.”

            Oh. I felt kind of stupid as he shone the light on my lip where I’d bitten into it.  I let him look.  He frowned. “This looks very real,” he announced.

            “He’s real advanced, Doc!  Worth a fortune!”

            “I’m a human being, you crazy son of a bitch!”

            “Never mind his mouth, Doc,” Barney urged.  “Check his eyes!  Every so often, they’ll glow!”

            Oh shit.  I winced and squeezed my eyes shut as the flashlight moved towards them.  “Knock it off!  They... they hit me in the head, I’ve got a headache!”  I wasn’t lying.

            But the four amigos had already sensed that they’d stumbled onto something. They held my head still, pried my eyelids apart.  And when the light shone directly in my eyes and they started cheering, I knew it was over.

            “Told you!”

            “Did you see them flash?  Just like a cat’s eyes, reflecting the light back!”

            “That’s why he could see so well in the dark!”

            “Told you he was way advanced!”

            “They’re ocular implants,” I tried.  “I’m a veteran.  That doesn’t mean I’m a robot!”

            “Ocular implants like this don’t exist.”  Doc was no fool.  His eyes had gone wide with interest.  He’d picked up a magnifying glass and was peering into my eyes, angling the flashlight for a better look.  “The eyes themselves look human, but there’s something implanted into the irises, and the retina is lined with microelectronics!  You can see the circuitry!  This is incredible!”

            “Told you, professor!  He’s worth a fortune, and you’re not getting him for free!”  Barney named a figure that would have been outrageous in my own time.

            Of course, the Doc laughed.  He countered with a much lower figure.  Son of a bitch was really going to buy me!  I tested the chains.  I was held fast.  I could raise or lower my arms a bit, which in turn tightened or loosened the chains around me, holding me to the table.  I could squirm around, twist a bit to one side or another and raise my head. That was pretty much it.  I was caught unless I could convince the Doc to unlock my chains.  “Come on, Doc, this is crazy!  I’m not a robot!  Let me go!”

            But he didn’t seem to have any intention of letting me go any time soon. I had a bit of satisfaction at the way he managed to pay far less than what Barny had initially asked for me. But then he was heading into the house with the assholes to pay them, leaving me alone.  I immediately started struggling, straining with all my might to get free.  The table creaked, but it was solid.  I was every bit as trapped as I’d thought.  Well, shit.  I enhanced my hearing, heard the asshole brigade leaving.  Then Doc was coming back in.  “Let me go!” I demanded.  “I’m not a robot, you just paid off my kidnappers!”

            To my surprise, he smiled at me.  “Hello!  What’s your name?”

            “Winchester.  Staff Sergeant Dean Winchester, United States Army Special Forces.  And I’m not a robot, ok?!  There’s an explanation for...”

            Doc waved a hand in dismissal.  “Dean, I’m not going to hurt you.  But there’s a reason I just bought you from them, even though it’s painfully obvious they’re not your owners.  Now, you’re obviously incredibly advanced, far beyond what should be possible with any technology I’ve ever heard of.  And you actually seem sentient!  Are you?”

            I pulled on my chains.  “I’m a human being!  Let me go!”

            “I won’t hurt you,” he repeated.  His eyes were shining with excitement.  “I just need to study you, maybe take you apart just a little...”

            “What?!  Take me apart?!  What do you mean, take me apart?!”

            “But I won’t take anything apart I’m not sure I can put back together!” he said quickly.  “You’re remarkable, and I have no desire to harm you in any way.  All I want is to understand.  And there’s a reason, Dean.  My son, Charlie?  He’s already at the peak of what medical science can do.  His body can’t be healed, but through robotics?  I can repair him, make him whole again!  For that, I would spend all of my family’s fortune, even pay criminals for stolen property!”

            I struggled.  “I’m not property!  Nobody owns me!  I’m telling you, I’m a person!  Just let me go!”

            “We’ll discuss that, once I’m finished with you.”  He waved his hand in dismissal.  “I don’t intend to keep you permanently.  I’ve too much respect for your creator for that.  And I would very much like to meet your creator!”

            Meet John Winchester?  He hadn’t even been born yet.  I snorted. “That’s going to be a little hard, since he’s not alive right now.”

            The Doc’s face fell.  “Unfortunate, but it does explain why you were out on the street, I suppose.”  He brightened.  “That means you’re right!  No one owns you!”  His eyes shone as he looked at me.

            “My friends are going to be looking for me,” I said quickly, not wanting him to think he could get away with keeping me.  “You have to let me go!”

            He didn’t seem concerned.  “Well, just know that I will treat you respectfully, only take apart what I’m sure I can put back together, and then I have no intention of forcing you to stay, especially if you’re sentient.  Work with me, Dean, and I promise you’ll be safe, and with all your wires intact.  Do you understand?”

            No, this was not good.  If this guy took me apart, not only would that suck for me, but he’d see technology that was decades in the future.  That could change the future, alter the timeline!  I had to get loose.  I struggled wildly, straining to twist myself free.  “You are the one who doesn’t understand!”  I insisted.  “You have to let me go!  You can’t take me apart because I’m not a robot!  I’m a soldier, modified by the US Army to...”

            “Dean, please do not insult my intelligence any further by continuing this ruse,” the Doc said calmly.  “I have multiple contacts in the armed forces.  I’ve personally designed the majority of the top-secret cybernetic technology they use.  And I can tell you for certain that nothing like you exists!”

            I froze, looking hard at the Doc.  “You designed the military’s cybertech?  What’s your name?”

            “Professor Kevin Tran.  Sorry, I should have told you that when you gave me your name.  Now Dean...”

            “My right arm,” I told him.  “It’s fully mechanical from just below the shoulder through to the fingers.  What you want to look at are the joints.  Now if you cut into me, it’s going to really suck because I’m a cyborg, not a robot.  It’s not like I can switch off my pain receptors.  But you’ve got anesthesia, right doc?  You can put me under?”

            Tran blinked.  “Yes?”

            “Alright, then put me under and go to town.  The synthetic skin will heal, but try not to mess me up too badly.  Now you’re going to see some things in that arm that don’t exist yet.  And they work by connecting through my nerves back to processors implanted in my brain. A quick x-ray will show you where.”

            Tran’s jaw dropped, but I wasn’t finished.  “There’s something you should know, Dr. Tran.  There’s no copyright on my tech, ok?  When you reverse engineer it, you’re free and clear to take it to the public sector.  But be careful!  There’s going to be a hell of a lot of people who are going to come looking for it. And once you implant it in your son and he’s able to walk again?  He’s going to be in real danger!  You need bodyguards, security to keep him safe!  You hearing me, Doc?”

            Dr. Tran nodded.  “O-of course! I hadn’t thought about that, but of course you’re right.”

            “One more thing.  Your son, Charles?  He’s every bit as smart as you are!  He may not be related to you by blood, but he’s always going to know that you loved him enough to not give up and let him spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair after that accident that killed his mom.  You loved him enough to go out on a limb to help him walk, even when everyone else thought you were crazy!  And all the shit that happened to you, how the military labs threw you out and the universities called you a quack and turned their backs on you?  One day, that’s all going to change.  There will come a time when you finally get the recognition you deserve, ok?  So don’t give up!”

            Tran was staring at me.  “H-how do you know all of this?  How can you know so much about me and my son?”

            “That’s not important.  What’s important is that you do what you have to do with me fast!  I’ll cooperate, whatever you need.  But then you need to let me go.  You’ve got one hell of a future ahead of you, Doc, but so do I! So take what you need from me, and then _let me go!”_

            Dr. Kevin Tran would one day be known as the Prophet, the man whose remarkable vision had paved the way for the God of the Modern Age.  And the stepson he’d raised as his own, Charles Shurley, would not only walk again, but he’d take his father’s inventions, the Tran processors and implants, and expand on them until one day he founded a company that would take over the world.  In my time, Tran’s name was revered as one of the greatest inventors who’d ever lived. But where had his incredible designs come from?  How had he made such an amazing leap, designing the first implanted cybernetic joints that had repaired his son’s mangled legs, utilized the body’s own nervous system and implanted processors to function, and changed the course of cybernetics forever?

            Maybe now, I knew the answer.

****

            Two days later, Dr. Tran dropped me off at Bobby’s place.  I’d called ahead, and Bobby was waiting with what was very obviously a shotgun just inside the door when I stepped out of Tran’s car.  Cas pushed dangerously past him and came running out to greet me, throwing himself into my arms.  “Dean!  Where have you been?  I thought something had happened to you!”

            “It did, angel, but it’s over now.”  I kissed him.  “You ready to go?”

            “Yes, I just needed...”  He frowned and snatched my right hand.  “There’s damage to the flesh on your hand, fingers, wrist, and elbow!  Dean, these are cuts!  Someone hurt you!”

            “Didn’t hurt me.”  That was true.  I’d been under anesthesia when the Prophet had carved into my right arm and examined my cybernetic joints.  Now my angel’s amazing synthetic flesh was already healing, leaving behind only faint lines of scars.  Small price to pay.

            Had I done the right thing?  Had I changed history, or simply kept it on the track it was meant to be on all along? And what did this mean for what Cas and I were planning to do?  Was changing history even possible?  I’d done what I’d always done my entire life.  I’d gone with my gut, done what I believed was the right thing.  And the one sure glimpse I had of six-year-old little Chuck Shurley, out motoring around in his electric wheelchair in Tran’s backyard, made me feel secure in my decision.  Tran would make sure his little boy walked again.  And Chuck Shurley would go on to invent the technology that would eventually lead to the beautiful man in my arms.

            In the end, that was the only thing I cared about.


	29. Chapter Past - Save Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel rigs Dean into his time machine and attempts to make the jump back to their own time.

            Letting Cas put the interface wristband back on me was something of a ritual for the two of us.  I was sitting in the back seat of my Baby, surrounded by wires and bits of machinery, with another wire trailing from my right sleeve, connected to my arm.  I was already connected to my angel’s contraption.  The wristband would largely seal it.  His eyes kept meeting mine as he carefully fastened it around my left wrist, a shy smile on his face.  “Thank you for trusting me,” he said as he punched in the code.

            “Thank you for trusting me,” I responded.  “You chose that first.”

            “Only because you had no idea I’d done anything to abuse your trust.”

            “Cas, you thought I was trying to kill the both of us!”

            “You thought my nanites saved your arm, and that I had no real idea what I was doing when I made Chimera!”

            I nodded, acknowledging this.  “We’re both a couple of sons of bitches, aren’t we?  Sad part is that we deserve each other.”  I narrowed my eyes.  “Did you double-check your figures?  You’re sure you can do this and stay beneath 15%?”

            “Yes, but it’s going to be close,” he confessed. “My best estimate, assuming all goes well, is that I’ll be from 10-13% when we jump.  That, plus the 85% that we know having the framework in my head is going to bump my indicators to, puts us...”

            “Way too close to overload for comfort!”  I shook my head.  “Cas, maybe we should wait, hold off until you can shave that down just a bit more?”

            “We can’t, Dean.”  His eyes were sad as they looked at me.  “Bobby keeps saying that Barney and Lenny and their friends won’t be a problem once they realize we’re gone.  But the fact is that they already tried to break into Bobby’s house and steal me while you were away!”

            I stiffened.  “Did they hurt you?!”

            He shook his head.  “Bobby is a very good shot with that shotgun.  I suspect they’re going to need to heal up a bit more before they try anything else.  But it shows that we can’t stay here, Dean.  We’re risking ourselves and him if we do!”

            “I know,” I sighed.  “But we’re still just way too close for comfort.  If I lost you now, Cas?  Frankly, I don’t know what I’d do.  I cannot imagine my life anymore without you in it.”

            He lowered his eyes.  “I love you, Dean,” he said simply.

            I smiled and gently stroked the pads of my fingers along the engraving on his plate.  “I love you too, Castiel.”

            He shivered, blushed as prettily as any girl, and leaned for a moment into my hand.  Then he ducked his head, going back to his work.

            Bobby ambled over, put his hands on the roof of the car, and peered anxiously at me.  “You boys doing ok?”

            “Yeah.”  I carefully lifted my right arm, revealing the dangling wire that hung from my sleeve. “I’m plugged in, but nothing’s happening yet.  It won’t until he activates me.  Then, well, then it’s going to suck.”  Cas hadn’t been able to tell me what it would be like, but he’d already said it wouldn’t be fun.  I was bracing for a rough ride.  Whatever it took.

            Bobby put a fatherly hand on my shoulder.  “You’re doing one hell of a brave thing, Dean,” he said softly.  “I honestly don’t know if I could do it, if I was in your place.”

            “Not even for your wife?”

            That brought a small, sad smile to his face. “Love makes us all do crazy things, doesn’t it?  But Dean, I want to know that you’re sure about this.  You’re letting him reset you again, and take you back to a time when that matters.  Even though he can black you out again...?”

            “I’ll be on the books, as Chimera.  I know.  The only good thing is that it shouldn’t matter too much.  Cas fixed the dates on the wristbands.  We’ll be going back to the cabin, so I shouldn’t trip too many alarms.  As long as he disconnects me and blacks me out fast, I’ll be alright.”  I looked towards Cas.  “Cas says that we should instantly replace the current version of ourselves, creating a brand-new timeline from that point on.  It’s why we won’t be able to use Project Samandriel again, because from then on, we’ll be chronologically displaced, and our personal timelines won’t line up with the natural one.  But we’ll be us, with every freckle and scar, and have full knowledge of everything we’ve experienced.”  I smiled.  “Honestly, it’ll be nice to go back to the cabin again.  The blizzard takes out the coms, which means we’ll have time to just sit quietly together and talk a bit.  I’m shit at the chick flick moments, Bobby, but even I know we need to talk some shit out.”

            “I’m just worried about you, boy,” Bobby admitted. “I’m worried about you both!  I know Castiel knows what he’s doing, but every time I see that damned wire sticking out of your sleeve, well, it turns my stomach a little.  The idea that the government will one day hardwire its soldiers right into the war machine, take free will right out of the equation?  That’s a damned nightmare!”

            “Maybe it’s a nightmare we’ll be able to do something about?”  I put my hand on Bobby’s hand as it rested on my shoulder.  “I went into Angeli Quinque to try to put a stop to any more shit like Chimera.  Now I’ve got a real chance to maybe make a difference, with my angel at my side! That’s one hell of an advantage.”

            “That it is,” Bobby admitted.  He squeezed my shoulder and stepped back.  Then he seemed to reconsider, bent down, and hugged me fiercely.  “I’ll miss the hell out of you, boy!  And I’ll take good care of your Baby for you.”

            “Thank you, sir.  Bobby.  Thank you for everything.”

            Neither of us really wanted to let go, but we both knew it was time.  Cas was coming over, wireless jack in his hand and worried blue eyes locked on me. “Dean?”

            I nodded.  I climbed back into the seat, fastened the lap belt.  Then I leaned back and nodded at Bobby.  “Alright, strap me in.”

            Bobby leaned over me, carefully fastening the safety harness he and I had designed.  It was similar to the normal safety harnesses we used in modern cars and would hold me in place in my seat with my right arm against my side.  That, combined with the sleeve of my coat, should keep any involuntary movements I’d likely make once the machine activated from dislodging the wire in my arm.  I hadn’t given it much thought, since I was used to this type of harness any time I drove in a car.  But when Bobby fastened me in and tightened the straps, it dawned on me that getting out of it on my own would be difficult, if not impossible.  I was pretty much trapped there in my seat until the wristband dragged me forward in time.  That made me feel uneasy.

            But then Bobby stood up and my angel was there, kissing me fiercely.  “Are you sure about this, Dean?” Cas asked anxiously.  “Your enhancements were never designed for this.  I can’t promise it won’t be painful!”

            “I’ve been hurt before.  I’ll be fine.”  I pulled him down for another kiss, my left hand twisted into his hair.  “I love you.  I trust you. Get us home, angel.”

            He nodded.  “I’ll need to reset you by hand, Dean, so I have to do that now.  But I won’t activate Chimera until I have to, alright?”

            “Do whatever you have to do.”  I hated the tremor in my voice.  This was Castiel.  I knew he’d never intentionally hurt me, but the knowledge that the Angel could, and would, take me over through my Chimera implants soon filled me with even more anxiety.

            Cas gave me a look, but he nodded.  He did something with his contraption, and my right arm suddenly went numb.  I blinked at it, and a moment later, it jerked, sending a pins and needles sensation that made me wince.  I’d expected it, though.  The easiest way to remove my black-out was to simply deactivate and then reactivate my arm, which would then reset my whole system.  Now my arm felt normal again.  Everything felt normal again.  But my skin was crawling.  The knowledge that I was back on the books was enough.

            “Dean!”  Cas had my shoulders.  “You’re so pale, all your freckles are standing out!  Are you alright?”

            “I’m not going to lie, I’m scared to death,” I admitted.  “But I’ll do this.”

            He closed his eyes for a moment.  “Dean, will you promise me one thing?  You have the primary interface band.  That means, if only one of us should go back, you will be the one.  No, I’m not saying I won’t go back,” he called over my sputtering.  “But I have always had a purpose for Project Samandriel. I need you to do something for me.”

            “What?”

            “Save them.”

            Of course he would ask that.  I sighed.  “Cas, I promise that I will do what I can, ok?  But especially if I go back and you don’t?  There’s only so much I can do.”

            “Just do what you can, Dean,” he urged, looking me in the eyes again.  “That’s all I ask.  Please, save them!”

            Who could look into those big blue eyes and refuse? I grimaced, and nodded.  “I’ll do as much as I can to save them, Cas.  I promise.”

            That made him smile a bit.  He got out, got a massive bear hug from Bobby, and climbed up into the front passenger seat.  Then Bobby started my Baby up, and we were on our way.

            Bobby had picked an actual racecar track for our trip.  He’d apparently pulled some strings and greased some palms to get us private access. Now the gate was conveniently unlocked, letting him quickly pull the chain free and drive Baby in.  He moved us out onto the track and looked from me to Cas and back.  “Alright, boys.  I want you to know it’s been a damned pleasure to get to know you both, and I want you to take care of each other.”

            “Yes sir,” I said.  “But the pleasure’s all ours.  If you hadn’t been there for us, God knows what we would have done.  So thank you, Bobby.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”  I saw Cas nod and smile, agreeing with me.

            Bobby grunted into his beard.  “Enough of this feelings shit.  If you idjits are really going to do this crazy stunt, now’s the time!”

            “Dean?”  Cas was looking intently at me.  His wireless jack was already in his plate.  Now or never.

            I nodded.  “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!”

            I figured Cas wouldn’t get the reference, but Bobby did.  I heard him chuckle.  Then all I could hear was static.  My optics went completely berserk, switching between modes and levels of magnification until I had no idea what I was looking at.  My entire body was jerking and twitching.  And worst of all, I could feel it happening again, how I was being shunted aside, watching what was happening with no control at all.  I tried to scream, but with my audio a mess and my nerves haywire, I had no way to know if I’d succeeded.

            _“Dean? Can you hear me?”_

            That was new.  Cas seemed to be somehow behind me.  I instinctively shifted my awareness towards the sound of his voice.  _“Cas?”_

_“Oh good, it worked!  Welcome to Angel Radio, Dean.  This is a private frequency we use to communicate with each other.  I’ve modified you, brought you into it so I can talk to you. I need to know if you’re alright?”_

            I considered the question.  _“I’m not alright,”_ I admitted.  _“But I can do this.  Finish setting me up, and let’s go.”_

            “How is he?” I faintly made out.

            “Not good.  He’s talking, but his heartrate and blood pressure are spiking, and I’ve only just switched him on!  His enhancements were never meant to take this kind of load!  We need to get this done fast, Bobby, Dean can’t last!”

            “You got it.”  From somewhere in the distance, Baby’s engine roared, and then it was nothing but static again.

            I could feel it, feel my nerves tingle as my entire nervous system was realigned, brought into a new configuration with the processors implanted in my brain.  It was so much, too much.  I could feel myself thrashing, struggling in my restraints.  Among the electronic feedback, I could faintly hear my own panicked cries.

            Everything whited out for a moment, and then went black. I had a moment in darkness and silence before the chaos returned.  It was odd, though, somehow muted.  And once again, my angel was there.  _“I’m dulling your access to your senses now, Dean,”_ he explained.  _“I had to block you completely for a moment, because you were being overwhelmed.  Your body is much less tense now.  You were fighting quite a bit before.  Bobby had to stop, strap you in tighter.”_

_“Sorry.”_

_“It’s natural, Dean, and something I should have anticipated, but it’s going to take a bit more work than I thought.  Your senses should eventually return after the machine activates and we’re thrown into time, but it’s likely to be a rough landing.  You’ll have very little control over your body, Dean, and I can’t say for sure that you’ll stay conscious!”_

_“Got it.”_  Something about what he’d just said alarmed me for some reason, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Too much chaos to focus.  Whatever it was, I’d have to puzzle it out later.

 _“Alright Dean, stay strong,”_ my angel was urging.  _“Bobby is speeding up now.”_

            I could faintly make that out the sound of Baby’s engine.  I felt a bit of a pang that I couldn’t really experience my last ride in her.  _“We almost there?  My Baby shouldn’t take long to hit top speed!”_

_“Reaching launch speed right about...  Now!”_

            I had no idea what to expect.  When I’d jumped with Cas off the roof, we’d instantly been transported to the cabin.  But this time it was very, very different.  I was moving through somewhere black and empty, but at the same time full of light and chaotic motion.  It had little to nothing to do with my altered senses.  A massive river of everything and nothing at once had me in its grip and I was tumbling, helpless, in its midst.  But I wasn’t alone.  He was here, my angel, floating near me.  I desperately wanted to reach out, but I couldn’t.  “Cas!”

            No answer.  Cas seemed frozen as we were swept along, the blue eyes gradually changing as his indicators moved closer to full.  And that was when it hit me.  _It’s natural, Dean, and something I should have anticipated, but it’s going to take a bit more work than I thought._   That was what he’d said, as he’d been busy adjusting my senses to keep me from being overwhelmed.  But he’d had to do that while on the jack, using outdated technology that put a strain on his processors!  We had so little margin of error.  Would the extra work he’d had to do to shut down, dull, and then reactivate my senses push him over the edge?

            I could only watch, seeing the electric blue indicators in his eyes moving closer and closer to his pupil, wiping out that deep ocean blue.  By the time the world roared back into existence bringing with it the full chaos of my battered nervous system, my unenhanced vision could see no trace of that blue.

            I felt like every nerve in my body was on fire. In a way, it wasn’t far off from the truth.  I was lying on the floor of the cabin, flat on my face with my head turned to the right side.  And my cybernetics were going haywire.  My right arm was jerking as if in the throes of a massive seizure, fingers, wrist, and elbow joints twitching and bending without dislodging the broken cable that still jutted from my right sleeve.  The rest of my body, though, wasn’t any more in my control than my prosthetic arm.  I had no control over my muscles.  All I could do was just lie there and twitch. My optics and aural implants were fried as well, assaulting me with static, random sounds, and weird, unfocused sights in various colors and magnifications.  But it was getting better.  Slowly, everything was fading.  Not good.  I was losing consciousness fast.  I strained to stay awake.  “Cas!”

            “Save them.”

            My angel’s voice, coming through the static and feedback and sounding oddly robotic. I could briefly see him, lying close beside me.  He didn’t seem to be moving.  He lay on his back, facing up towards the ceiling of what could only be the cabin, his eyes wide and unseeing and, to my dismay, full electric blue.  Just how close was he to total capacity?  Then he was lost in a mishmash of optical feedback. My head was spinning.  My body twitched, jerked hard.  My right arm pounded rhythmically on the hardwood floor.

            “Save them.”

            I got a vague impression of movement.  Cas was getting up.  Thank God.  My breath hitched, my heart pounding as I tried to focus, to get a grip on the overload of sensations from my abused implants.  I managed to clear my vision for a moment and caught sight of the jack still in his plate.  Not good. That meant everything I was feeling was likely still being transmitted to Cas.  No wonder he looked so dazed.  He was sitting up now, still staring off into space.  “Save them,” he repeated.  “Save them.  Save them. Sa-...  Sa-...  Same. Same.”

            What the hell?  I fought through another wave of confused optical and aural input, straining to focus on my angel.  “Cas? You gotta disconnect and get that jack out of your head, buddy, it’s frying your processors!”

            “Saman.”  Cas’s voice was changing, moving from a robotic monotone to just a note of panic. “Samandriel?  Samandriel!  _Samandriel!_ ”

            My vision mercifully went out again, but not before I saw the worst thing I could imagine.  My angel’s eyes were glowing a deep, horrifying blue.  Overload.  Cas was in overload!  I cried out, fought to get control of my body.  “Cas!  Cas, come on, angel!”

            But Cas wasn’t answering.  He was trying to get to his feet.  The terrified, glowing blue eyes were looking at me when I lost my vision again.  My nerves sizzled, my body twitched.  Heat, cold, pain and pleasure flashed through me all at once, making me cry out.  Then I was panting, my brain trying desperately to deal with the overabundance of stimuli coming from the implanted processors.  Was this what overload was like for an Angel?  In their case, it was their nervous systems, not their computers, that was overtaxed.  How much worse was it then what I was feeling now?  “Cas!” I cried.  “Oh, Cas!”

            “Help me, Dean!”

            I fought to control my optics.  Cas’s voice had sounded so far away, but a moment later every sound was magnified. I cried out again, trying to cover my ears with my hands and failing before the audio mercifully returned to normal.

            “You promised you’d protect me!”

            Cas was near.  He was touching me, his hands on my chest.  “Cas,” I whispered.  “I’m so, so sorry!”

            “You lied to me, Dean!  You can’t protect me!  You can’t save me, Dean, I’ve been stolen!  They’ve stolen me!  Help me, Dean!  I need Samandriel!  Where is he? Where’s Samandriel?!”

            So this was the hell he was in now.  I sobbed, fought to stay awake even as the world grew darker and darker. “He’s gone, angel, and I’m sorry! I...”

            Cas’s right arm drew back, his hand flexed sharply back.  Then he drove the heel of his hand hard into my chest, making me grunt.  “You lied to me!  Where is Samandriel, Dean?  I need Samandriel, why won’t you save me?!  Why won’t you help me, Dean, please, please help me!”

            “Cas!”  Cas’s arm drew back, drove forward again.  And I realized with dismay what he was doing.  He was stabbing me, driving his nonexistent Angel blade into my chest over and over again even as he cried out in terror and begged me to bring him Samandriel.  I closed my eyes and wished with all my might that he still had that blade.  When my ears worked properly, I could hear him, begging me to bring him Samandriel, begging me to help him, asking why I’d let him be stolen.  Accusing me of failing him.  Oh, I did fail you, angel.  I failed you. Now I can only pray that you won’t have to suffer like this for long until someone finally comes and grants you mercy.  And I can’t even tell you one last time that I love you, can’t even make my body work enough to form the ASL sign.  I just hope, in some part of you, that you know.  And I hope even more that there’s no part of you that realizes what you’re doing now.


	30. Chapter One - The Broken Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Castiel suddenly vanishes from a moving vehicle, chaos rules

            I was hitting the manual override to get out of my safety harness and through the door before the vehicle stopped, my weapon in hand.  _“I’m at the cabin,”_ I sent over Angel Radio.  _“No sign of any activity outside, but I hear something inside.  I’m going in to check it out.”_

 _“Be careful!”_ Michael warned. _“We’re still a few minutes out with the security team, so you don’t have any backup!”_

            _“Understood!”_   I moved in, keeping low, my weapon at the ready.  My ears pricked up at the sound of a voice, a male voice that sounded like he was in pain.  A familiar voice.  My heart sank even as my blood boiled.  _“I can hear him.  Castiel?  Cas, come on, brother, say something!  What’s your situation?”_

            Nothing over Angel Radio, but from within the cabin, I heard him cry out again.  I ground my teeth and forced myself to take a deep breath.  I needed to calm down, focus.  Whatever was happening in that cabin, I would do Cas no favors if I charged in now.  I needed recon.  Otherwise, I could startle these fuckers, cause them to hurt Cas.  My brother needed me.  I had no damned intention of letting him down.  _“Gabe?”_ I called.

            _“I’m listening!”_

            _“I need you to stay in the vehicle, alright?  No matter what happens here, stay there until I tell you it’s safe!”_  I was already moving, heading towards the entrance.  I’d always been uneasy about there being only one outside door on the cabin, but it didn’t matter much now.  I had no intention of using it anyway.

            Gabe sputtered.  _“Are you out of your fucking mind?! I’m not staying in this car!  That is our brother in there!”_

            _“Enough, Gabe!”_ Mike snapped.  _“He’s in charge of security for a damned reason, so listen to him!”_

 _“I need you to keep trying to get through to Cas,”_ I directed as though nothing had happened.  _“Check the signal, look for anything blocking it.  There’s got to be some reason he’s not responding.  Raph, what’s your ETA?”_

_“Should be there in less than five minutes.”_

_“We’re pushing the vehicles, and they’re already clearing the roads ahead of us,”_ Mike reported.  _“At this rate, we should get there at about the same time as Raph.  You want us back at the security perimeter?”_

_“Absolutely!  Stay there, and if I give the word, you turn around and you head straight to the closest safehouse, no questions asked!”_

            I knew they wouldn’t like that, and the sudden silence over Angel Radio proved it.  _“Acknowledged,”_ Michael said finally.  _“What about Gabe?”_

            _“Don’t worry about me,”_ Gabe called.  _“I can hear the sirens already. I’ll be buried in security any minute now.  Listen, there’s something weird about Cas’s signal.  It’s like it’s just off frequency.”_

 _“Of course there is!”_ Raph’s voice suddenly sounded panicked.  _“Naomi says his overload indicator is on!”_

            Oh shit.  I had already moved into position, switching to my combat optics and checking heat signatures.  To my surprise, I only saw two people inside.  One was still, lying on the floor.  But the other was on his knees, standing over the figure on the floor. As I watched, I saw the kneeling man’s hand come down, clearly impacting with the figure on the floor.  The son of a bitch was the only one in the cabin, and he was beating Cas!

            Oh no.  That would not fly.

            I picked up a length of firewood from the pile stacked outside and hurled it through the window next to the door, racing after it and leaping into the main living area of the cabin.  I was on the fucker attacking my brother in half a second, knocking him away from Cas and slamming him to the ground, my weapon under his chin.

            I blinked down into a pair of terrified glowing blue eyes in a tearstreaked golden face.  “Cas?!”

            “H-help me!” he cried.  “Please, they’re stealing me!  _Samandriel!_ ”

            Chagrined and horrified, I gathered him up.  “Shhh, he’s coming, just hang on!”  I looked back at the figure on the floor.  The man hadn’t moved.  He was lying there with his face away from me, his body giving little twitches.  I had no idea what was going on.  At the moment, I didn’t care.  The only thing I cared about was that, for the first time since he’d somehow vanished out of a moving vehicle, my brother was safe.  I crushed him to my chest.  _“I’ve got Cas.  Have security stand down.  He’s safe, but he’s in overload!  Alfie, you better get your ass in here!”_

_“I’m coming!  Hang on, Castiel, I’m coming!”_

            “Cassie!”

            I should have known Gabe wouldn’t stay in the vehicle, especially not once he’d learned Cas was in overload.  He was racing through the door, nearly tripping over the silent man on the floor in his eagerness to reach us.  I let him in, putting Cas into his arms.

            Then I got up and checked the man on the floor. And the instant I saw his face, simultaneously everything and nothing made sense.

            Behind me, Cas thrashed wildly in Gabe’s arms. “No!  Don’t steal me!”  And before I could do a single thing, he’d twisted around and slammed his Angel blade into Gabriel’s chest.

            My heart stopped, horror freezing me in place. Cas screamed for Samandriel and drew back for another strike.  That snapped me out of it enough to race over and seize his arm.  And that was when I realized two things.  Gabriel was fine, blinking in stunned bewilderment at our brother.  And Castiel’s Angel blade was missing.  His arm was cocked back, clearly intending for it to be extended, but the blade itself simply wasn’t there.  I drew back his sleeve, stared at the awful twisted line of scar that marred the narrow silicone channel where his blade should be.

            “I don’t understand,” Gabriel whispered.

            I didn’t either, but I had no time to think too much about it.  Cas was still in a panic.  Now he was screaming at me and Gabe, begging us to not let him be stolen, begging for Samandriel, and the entire time, over and over again, he tried to stab us with his missing blade.  Gabe looked sick, and I didn’t feel much better.

            And then Cas stiffened.  “Rebooting.  Rebooting. Samandriel?  Alfie, Cassie needs you, Alfie, please come!”

            I breathed a sigh of relief, felt Gabe sag against me.  “He’s coming, Cas,” I assured him, hugging both of my brothers to me.  “He’s nearly here.  I promise you, you’re safe.”

            Samandriel made an absolutely epic entrance.  He came charging through the door, promptly tripped on the still figure we’d pretty much been ignoring on the floor, sprawled flat on his face, and then crawled the rest of the way to Castiel. When this was all over, I knew, we’d tease him about that for days.  But right now, the only thing I cared about was that Castiel had stopped shaking and crying the moment our clumsy brother seized his hand.  Raphael followed, making a much smoother entrance.  And less than a minute later, everyone was there, all six Angels gathered together in the living room.

            I got on the com, ordered the security teams to stand down and form the perimeter.  Then I moved to the still man on the floor and gathered him up. “Dean?” I called, gently tapping his cheeks.  “Dean, what happened?  What are you doing here, and how did Castiel end up here, and like this?!”

            No response.  I sighed.  Then I let him down a bit, hauled off, and cracked him sharply across the face. “Sergeant Winchester, report!”

            Dazed green eyes blinked open, fixed on me. The pale face went even paler.  He made strangling sounds and clutched at my jacket.  “You... You’re...!”

            “Dean, focus!  What happened to Castiel?”  I shook him harshly.  “What the hell did you _do_ to him?!”

            “Cas?  Cas!”  He twisted, strained around, and then froze, staring wide-eyed at the still, silent group of Angels around Castiel.  “Holy fuck, they’re all in overload!”

            “No they’re not!” I scoffed.  “They’re all just linked up with Alfie, helping bring Castiel down out of overload faster.  They don’t even know we’re here, ok?  And any minute now...  There’s the music.”  I smiled, hearing the cheerful sounds of the old pop music Cas favored playing over the cabin’s sound system.  “Now you and I are going to go outside and talk, and let them keep at it.  Because Dean?  You have got one hell of a lot of explaining to do!”

            For once, Dean didn’t argue.  He let me help him up, still looking incredulously at the group on the floor.  I smiled fondly at them.  Violet, gold, silver, red and white eyes ignored me, still fixed on the wide blue eyes that looked back up at them.  My Angels were beautiful.  And no one, not even the big brother who had basically raised me, was going to threaten them.  I gave Dean a little push.  “Let’s go.”

            “Sammy, I...!”

            “Now, Dean!  We need to talk, and we’re not doing it near them!”

            I saw Dean swallow hard, looking back at my Angels one more time.  Then he nodded and let me push him out the door.  I walked quickly, moving away from the cabin.

            “What year is this?” he wanted to know.

            “Really, Dean?  You’re going to go with an amnesia angle now?”

            “Just answer the question, would you, Sammy?!”

            I sighed.  “It’s 2086, alright, Dean?  September 3rd, 2086.  You only just left yesterday, after your little experiment landed us both in jail and we had that lovely conversation!”

            Dean sighed.  “I figured it had to be around that time.  You still have that cut on your face, and you’re, you know, here. Also explains why it’s so damned warm. I gotta get out of this coat.”  He pulled off a heavy winter jacket with the words “Angeli Quinque” stamped on the front.  Then he casually pulled a wire out of his right arm.

            I blinked in surprise.  Dean hadn’t told me that he’d lost his arm.  But at the moment, that wasn’t my primary concern.  “Never mind the date, the time, or the weather, Dean,” I said.  “I have something to say to you.”

            We’d stopped, and Dean turned to me.  My roundhouse caught him in the face, sending him sprawling on the ground.  “Oh, I did not need that,” he groaned.  “I’m still rattled from the trip!”

            I gestured.  “Get up, Dean!”

            “No thanks.  I’ll just stay right where I am.”

            I grabbed him by the collar and hauled him back up, slamming him into a tree.  “You son of a bitch!” I hissed.  “What the fuck are you doing here, Dean?!  And what did you do to Castiel?!”

            “Couple of things.  One, do you realize that by calling me a son of a bitch you’re saying the same thing about yourself?  You’re supposed to be the smart one, Sammy!  And two, I didn’t do shit to Cas!  He pushed himself too hard to get us back here and put himself into overload! Thank God he brought us to a time when Samandriel was close by!”  He looked at me, and got an odd expression on his face.  “Sammy, I...”

            I belted him again.  “I cannot believe you, Dean!  I thought you’d sunk as far as you could sink when you went and wallowed with that shit in Purgatory, but you just had to prove me wrong, didn’t you?!  What was your plan, huh?  You couldn’t get me to leave and go there with you, so you tried to abduct Castiel instead?!”

            “Dammit, Sammy, would you just shut up and listen to me for...  Stop!” My shithead older brother had blocked my next blow, catching my fist in his hand.  Then he quickly caught my other when I swung my left around.  My eyes were blazing, but now so were his, whatever had rattled his brains apparently clear enough to bring up his combat mode.  “Knock it off and listen to me!”

            I snarled, jerked myself free, and came at him again.  Dean and I had sparred frequently when we were growing up, but I’d never really tested him since we’d both been drafted and augmented.  I knew I was strong, and my height gave me reach on him.  But the prick was Special Forces.  A few blocks, some well-aimed hits and a leg sweep and I was down on my stomach, my arms twisted up behind my back.  He gave them a jerk, making me yelp.  “Sammy!  I did not come here to fight you!”

            “No, you came here to fuck with my Angels, and I refuse to let it happen!  I don’t want to see you get hurt, Dean, but I swear, if you don’t let me up and get the hell out of my sight...?!”

            Dean scoffed.  “Come on, Sammy!  You can’t beat me!”

            “No, but Lucifer and the rest of the security team sure as fuck can!” I spat.  “They’re already on high alert from whatever the hell you did that made Cas vanish.  I called them off because you’re my brother. But do not make me choose again between you and my Angels, Dean!  I swore I would protect them, and I meant it!”

            He blinked.  “ _Your_ Angels?”

            “Yes, Dean, _my_ Angels!  I refuse to let anyone hurt them, not even my brother!”

            He let me go, got up, and offered me his hand. “Sammy?  Let’s talk.”

            I swatted his hand away, getting up on my own. “Start talking.”

            “Ok, first, there’s something I have got to tell you, something I never really said before.”  I saw him swallow hard.  “I love you, little brother.  I always did.”

            It was the last thing I’d ever expected to hear from my brother, and it rattled me far more than his blows.  For a moment, I just stood there and stared at him with my jaw hanging.  Then I scowled.  “What the hell do you want from me, Dean?  You made your point about vets, rather vividly, I might add.  And while I still call bullshit on Project Chimera, I’ll concede that you went through hell in the service and then got treated like shit when they finally let you go.  But Dean, you are dead wrong about my Angels!”

            “I was dead wrong about Cas,” he admitted, surprising me again.  “And right now, I’m not so sure anymore about the rest of ‘em.  Sammy, sit down.  I got a story to tell you.”

            I sat down on a fallen tree, gestured for him to sit next to me.  “Fine. Start talking.”

            Dean told me an unbelievable story involving time travel, desperation, and some sort of connection with Castiel that I picked up on, but I didn’t quite understand.  Lucifer’s overload made me pale.  Dean’s fight with the Huis rebels made me feel sick.  But when he told me what Cas allegedly told him at the cabin, about Cas being kidnapped and what had happened to Samandriel, and I had to excuse myself and walk away for a moment.  Samandriel, my sweet, eternally cheerful blue-eyed blond cheerleader of an angel Angel dead?  Castiel a wreck of his former self?  Lucifer was the only one I understood.  My powerful Angel of Defense would have been absolutely crushed if that had really happened to his two youngest brothers.  I knew Luc got paranoid and aggressive when he went into overload, and just the sight of Gabriel would bring out the waterworks.  The one time Gabe had been slow to arrive, Luc had turned on me, insisting that, since I was Gabe’s bodyguard, I was the one who had taken Gabriel from him.  Not even the other Angels could convince him it wasn’t the case.  If Gabe hadn’t finally gotten there, I had no doubt Luc would have started fighting with me.  When he went into overload, Luc’s blitzed-out mind turned to the first explanation for why Gabe wasn’t immediately there.  Naturally, if what Dean told me was true, he’d turn on Cas.  Dean was vague as hell about why, exactly, he’d jumped off the roof to activate Project Samandriel the way he did, when I could think of about half a dozen ways he could have reached the required speed. But I sensed I wasn’t going to get any real answers and didn’t push it.

            We sat there quietly together as I processed what he’d told me.  Then I shook my head.  “Dean, none of this makes any sense!  It can’t be true!”

            “You saw the scar on Cas’s arm, where he tore out his Angel blade,” Dean pointed out.  “It says ‘Angeli Quinque’ right on my coat there on the ground in front of me. And if all that isn’t enough, did you see me pull that wire out of my arm?”

            “Yes?”

            He held up his arm.  “Scan it.  You won’t be able to tell it’s synthetic until you do a deep scan.  And a quick check will tell you that this sort of tech doesn’t exist yet.  It’s the latest Chimera cybernetic!”

            I sighed.  “While normally I’d laugh at the idea of time travel, I know what Castiel can do.  If anyone could build an actual time machine, he would be the one.  And if he really lost Samandriel, especially the way you claim he did?  Then it’s absolutely what he would do!  But there’s a couple things I don’t understand.  The biggest among them is, where the hell was I, Dean?!  You said Gabe sent me on a suicide mission? That’s just not possible!”

            “I proved it, Sammy!  I had everything on data chips, and when I confronted Gabe with it, he admitted it!”

            “And where are those data chips now?”

            He sighed.  “In 2088.”

            “Of course.”  I took a moment to compose my thoughts.  “Dean, Gabe would never, ever do that to me,” I began, carefully choosing my words.  “He and I have a very close relationship.  He brought me into this family, Dean!”

            Dean scoffed.  “Family?  That’s the last thing this is!”

            This conversation was going downhill fast. “You really are an asshole, Dean, and you have no idea what you are even talking about!  The last time I saw you was yesterday, after we both got arrested and we had that fight in the bathroom of the Heaven building.  You had just given me this bullshit story about your implants being able to override your free will and send you on missions where you were basically a puppet on a string.  But the man who owns that cabin?”  I jerked a thumb over my shoulder.  “Chuck Shurley’s vision is world peace!  Nothing about Chimera meshes with that vision, ok?  If Chimera could do what you claim, Gabe would never have coded it! But it wouldn’t have even gotten that far, Dean!  Mike never would have agreed to it, Raph never would have contracted for it, Cas never would have built it, and Samandriel would have had to clear his schedule to keep Luc from ganking whoever even suggested it!  I say it then, and I will say it now - Heaven’s Angels does not work that way!”

            “It won’t be Heaven’s Angels for much longer!” Dean insisted.  “Unless I can change the course of things, Angeli Quinque is just around the corner, and everything will get one hell of a lot worse!  And Sammy, I think that’s why Cas brought us here, to this time.  He must have picked the last time that you and the Angels were all together at this cabin, because you were the first domino to fall!”

            “No,” I corrected patiently.  “If what you’re saying is true, then the first domino to fall is falling tonight.  And that’s why Castiel brought you back here.  Because tonight’s Chuck’s goodbye party.  That’s why they’re all out here, Dean.  He’s leaving tomorrow!  And since you never mentioned him again, is it safe to assume that, after tonight, he’s never seen again?”


	31. Chapter Two - Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy struggles to control his emotions when Dean finally admits the real reason he came to Angeli Quinque.

**Sam**

            For some reason, my question hit Dean like a ton of bricks.  Dean’s freckles were suddenly clear as his face paled, his eyes going wide.  “Holy shit...  Holy shit, Sammy, you’re right!  That’s why Cas took us here, not just to save you and Samandriel, but to save Chuck, because after tonight, Chuck Shurley leaves and no one outside of the Angels ever knew where he went!  We gotta talk to Cas, find out what happened.  And we can’t let Chuck leave until we do!”

            I snorted.  “You don’t have to worry about that, Dean.  He would never leave Castiel in the shape he’s in right now!  I have no doubt he’s already postponed his travel plans.  He and Naomi were pretty far out, dealing with lawyers and setting things up for the Angels to take over, but they should be here any minute.”

            “Then we’ve already changed history!”  My brother sagged in relief.  Then he looked at me, intense green eyes staring into my own. “Sammy, I need your help.  There is more, so much more, going on here than either of us knows!  But you found something out!  The next time you called me, you told me that you were looking into something.  So I guess the thing to do right now is let you be you!  Something got that big nerdy brain of yours thinking, Sammy, got you asking questions and poking around.  Your snooping is the reason that Gabe finally...”

            “Gabe wouldn’t send me on any damned suicide mission!”

            It came out far harsher than I’d intended, and I saw Dean react.  He leaned back, raised his hands in surrender, even as his eyebrow cocked in confusion.  “Ok, ok, calm down, Sammy.  For your sake, I’m going to say that I could be wrong.”

            “You’re dead wrong!” I barked.  “You don’t know Gabe, alright?  He would never do that to me!”

            Even when I tried to curb my emotions, they were just too strong.  The idea that Gabe could ever even consider doing what Dean claimed he’d done was making my blood boil.  And it obviously showed in my face.  Dean was nodding.  “Fine, we’ll drop it for now.  Alright, all that aside, what was it about what I told you that bothered you the most? And where would you start investigating it?  Because something made you start looking, Sammy.  Do you know what it was?”

            I flinched.  There had indeed been one thing about Dean’s story that had been weighing on my mind, something I’d fully intended to look into once Dad Shurley was gone.  I was the Defense Section Chief of Staff, and Lead Bodyguard.  If there was any threat to Heaven’s Angels, it was my job to check it out and I’d fully intended to.  But I wasn’t quite ready to trust Dean yet.  “Let me sleep on it, ok, Dean?” I said.  “What you’ve told me is a lot to digest!  Besides, you haven’t told me the whole story!”  My eyes narrowed.  “You’re a Hunter, Dean.  You hate Heaven’s Angels and everything that goes with it!  The last time we talked, you were pulling every string, using every dirty tactic, anything you could do to convince me to leave the company and go back to Purgatory with you!  To listen to you talk, Chuck and the Angels were pretty much on the same level as Satan and his demons!  So why the hell, in a year’s time, would you apply for a job there?  What made you decide you wanted to be Gabe’s bodyguard?”

            Paydirt.  I saw him grimace and squirm and knew he really, really did not want to answer that. But I gave him my bitchface, staring him down until he finally relented.  “I had a mission, two of them, really,” he confessed.  “They kind of coincided.  The first was personal.  The last thing you’d told me was that you’d left something for me with Gabriel, something that could explain whatever it was you’d found.  I wanted to try to find it.”

            “And the other reason?” I pressed.

            I saw him take a deep breath and braced for impact.  “Steal Angel Gabriel.  I was supposed to get close to him, get him out into a set location so we could kidnap him, take him back to Purgatory.”

            My vision went red.  The next thing I knew, Dean was on the ground and I was on top of him, determined to make him a permanent part of the forest floor.

            “Hey, hey!  Enough!”

            Powerful hands caught hold of me, prying me off of my brother with ease.  I looked back and grimaced.  “Luc.  Sorry you saw that.”

            Luc let me go and helped a groaning Dean get back up.  His confused blue eyes were moving between the two of us.  “Um, do you guys need to talk to Samandriel?”

            I was breathing hard, but I was back in control. I saw Dean look at me, but he didn’t say a word, waiting to find out if I’d tell Luc the truth and seal his fate. If Lucifer realized Dean was a Hunter, we both knew he’d quite likely kill Dean right here and now.  “We’re fine,” I said instead.  “Dean and I just needed to finish up an argument we’ve been having for a while.”

            “Nothing like a little therapeutic beating,” Dean groaned, rubbing at his bruised jaw.  That one looked like it hurt.  Apparently, I’d gotten at least one good hit in.

            Luc looked confused as hell, but he shrugged. “Hey, so long as everyone’s happy.”

            “How’s Cas?” Dean and I both asked in unison.

            Luc smiled.  “He’s completely out of overload, but he’s exhausted.  Alfie’s staying with him, and Raph, of course.  We put him in bed to rest, listen to music and finish calming down.  I actually wanted to talk to the two of you, but especially you, Dean.  Can I call you Dean?  Great!  Dean, look at me.”  He jerked his head back towards the cabin, his expression serious.  “Today my second youngest brother disappeared from a moving car. And when we found him, he was in overload, and worse.  Alfie’s got him over the worst of it, but he says that there’s something seriously wrong with his mind.  His Angel blade is missing and that’s bad enough, but Gabe said he actually tried to stab him?!”

            “He tried to stab me, too,” I admitted. “Dean here knows something about it, but suffice to say, Cas is probably going to indulge his stabby impulses any time he goes into overload.  It’s probably best his blade stays gone.”

            “But his arm!”  Luc shuddered.  “What butcher dug that blade out?!”

            “Cas,” Dean said softly.  “He did it himself, after he... hurt someone.”

            “Why?!”

            “Because he was kidnapped, forced into overload for way too long.  It damaged him.  He hasn’t been the same since.”

            I saw Lucifer’s face crumble.  He groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Something happened, didn’t it?  I don’t know how, but that scar’s not new. Somehow, Castiel is missing time!” He looked up suddenly.  “Dean, were you with him?”

            Dean shook his head.  “I wasn’t there when he was taken, or when he did his arm.  I met him later.  But I’ve been with him for a bit now.”

            “So no one was there?  My brother was stolen and damaged to the point that he mangled his own arm, and absolutely no one was there to help him?!  He may be an Angel, but he’s still human!  He could have bled out so easily!  We could have _lost_ him!”

            “There wasn’t anything you could have done, Luc,” I sighed, realizing where he was going with this.

            “No, I’m sorry, but I don’t accept that!” Luc snapped.  “I’m the one who is supposed to be ultimately responsible for keeping my brothers safe! It’s my job to make sure something like _that_ never happens to them. And I failed!  I failed Cas!”

            “Hey, Luc, calm down!” I called.  I wrapped my arms around him.

            I’d never seen Lucifer like this before.  My most physically powerful and dangerous Angel was on the verge of tears, almost as if he was in overload.  He was shaking, leaning on me with his hand over his plate and his eyes pleading as he looked at Dean.  “I need to know who hurt him, Dean!  I need to make them _pay!”_

            I watched my brother’s face.  Dean was a good actor when he wanted to be, but normally, his face was an open book.  I saw a range of emotions flash over his features, including surprise, confusion, and finally a wide-eyed understanding.  Dean looked hard at Luc, who was still waiting for an answer.  “None of them are alive,” Dean said at last.  “And the ones who tried to hurt him while I was around?  I already made them pay.”

            Luc pulled away from me and, to my surprise, embraced Dean.  Dean’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates.  He made a little “oof” sound as Luc’s strength squeezed the air out of his lungs, and then winced as his ribs protested the treatment.  Lucifer had lifted Dean clear up off of his feet. “Thank you!” the Angel was saying. “You protected him when I couldn’t!”

            “You’re welcome,” Dean gasped.  “Please put me down?”

            Lucifer let Dean go, holding his shoulders at arm’s length.  “Dean, I want you to stay, join my security team.  You and your brother can help me keep them safe!  Because something is going on, Dean.”  Luc’s eyes were serious as they flicked to me.  He let go of one of Dean’s shoulders, took mine, and pulled us both a bit closer.  “I didn’t want to tell you before, Sam, because I didn’t want to spoil tonight with dad.  But someone with access to the company has been manipulating things.  Gabe already spotted it, and Mike and Raph said they’re finding things, too.  Someone’s been approving orders before Mike sees them, transferring funds that Raph didn’t authorize, and moving troops without my orders!  Cassie just builds whatever he’s handed and Alfie always wants to think the best of everyone, but the rest of us are starting to compare notes.”

            “Why the hell does everyone call Samandriel ‘Alfie’ anyway?” Dean wanted to know.

            “Because that’s his name,” I explained with a roll of my eyes.  “Samandriel Alfred Shurley!”

            Dean looked confused.  “I thought his name was Angel Samandriel?”

            “It is,” I said patiently.  “But Alfie’s a bit different from the other Angels.  He got that name after he became an Angel. Originally, it was Samandriel Alfred Shurley.”

            Dean still looked confused, but he was nodding. “Oh.  Sorry, Luc, you were saying?”

            “I was saying that something’s going on!” Luc insisted.  “I can’t bring dad into this when he’s leaving, and Naomi will want hard evidence and names to take to the board so she’s out until we get them.  But the two of you?  Sam already knows how I feel about him.  And Dean, from what he’s said about you?  I feel like I already know you!”  Luc picked up Dean’s hand, put it on his plate.  “I need you, Dean.  If you join us, I know we can get to the bottom of this!  Say yes?”

            I felt cold.  Lucifer was normally very perceptive and a fantastic judge of people. But here he was, letting Dean touch his plate, asking my brother to join the highest ranks of security, when he’d just admitted to me that he’d come in to steal Gabriel?!

            I had just opened my mouth, about to suggest we talk this over when Dean beat me to the punch.  “I’m happy to help,” he announced.  “In fact...?”  He took Luc’s hand and put his own against it, so Luc’s fingertips were on his.  He was, I realized, letting Luc read his ID.

            Luc’s eyes went wide.  “That’s my authorization!  You’ve already got highest clearance?  How...?  Oh, this is to do with that missing time!  That’s why you’re here with Cas, because I assigned you to him?!”

            “I’m his bodyguard,” Dean confirmed, not looking at me despite the look I was giving him.  “The way Cas is now, he needs constant care.  I provide that.”

            And that earned Dean another rib-crushing hug. I held myself firmly in check, waiting for Luc to let him go.  Luc slapped Dean on the back, nearly knocking him over, and once again took my shoulder. “Sammy, fill him in on anything he needs to know.  Since he’s already got my authorization, I don’t even need to clear him or do a background check.  I’ll just have Raph get him on the payroll.  Dean, welcome to Heaven’s Angels!”

            Dean smiled, and I resisted the urge to knock it off of his face with a hard right cross.  “If you don’t mind, I’d really like to go in and see Cas now.”

            “No, go right ahead!  Please, go see him!  You’re his bodyguard, and by the sound of things, we’re all going to need your help in adjusting, especially if dad and Naomi can’t fix whatever’s been done!”

            “The handlers already cracked his plate, replaced most of his computer,” Dean said quietly.  “Sorry, Luc.  What happened to him, it’s not fixable.”

            “We don’t know that,” I called quickly, seeing Luc’s stricken expression.  “After all, we have certain advantages here, with _everyone_ present, that Dean didn’t have where he came from.  Don’t lose hope, alright?”

            Lucifer took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “If I just stay here and do nothing I am going to lose my mind, Sammy.  But Alfie doesn’t need me hovering over them, worrying about Cas. Mike’s got the right idea.  He said he and Gabe and I should step back, leave Raph and Alfie alone with Cas to do their job.”  He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, let it out, and then looked at me.  “I’m going to go for a little stroll, clear my head.  I won’t wander far.  Call me if anything changes, ok?”

            “I will.”  I put my hand up to Luc’s plate.  He immediately closed his eyes, covered it with his hand, and leaned into it for a moment.  Then he smiled at me, patted Dean on the arm, and started out.

            “What.  The. Fuck?” Dean said as soon as he was out of earshot.  “I’ve never seen him so...  So... It’s like he really cares!”

            I whirled on him.  “Dean?  He just let you touch his plate!  Do you have any idea what that means, what an intimate, trusting gesture it is for them?! I’m amazed you could fool Luc, but you did not fool me!  Go and see Cas, because it seems like you do actually care about him.  But I am watching you!”

            “Yeah, well, hope you like the view.”  He stormed off, his bowlegged gait quickly bringing him to the cabin and nearly running down the figure coming out.

            The sight of Gabe made me smile, even as it did nothing at all to ease my tension.  Gabe jogged out to me and practically pounced.  “Sammy, it’s awful!  What Castiel did to his arm...?  And Samandriel’s right there, working on calming him down, but Cassie keeps saying that he’s dead!”

            I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was worse to be seen when our brother woke up.  I simply held Gabe, let him rest his head against my shoulder. “Gabe, listen to me.  Something very strange is going on.  We’ll get to the bottom of it.  But meanwhile, I do not want you to be alone with Dean, ever! Do you hear me?”

            He frowned up at me.  “Why?”

            “I don’t trust him,” I insisted.  “Not around you.”  Not after what he’d admitted to me.

            The amber eyes were troubled.  “I know you two quarreled, Samoose, but he’s your brother! All those things you’ve said about him, how great he is?  We could really use his help, especially now!  Did Luc tell you what we found?”

            “Yeah.  And Luc already offered him a job, and Dean took it.  But Gabe, listen to me, alright?  When I was a kid, I worshipped the ground my brother walked on.  I would have cheerfully followed Dean right through the gates of Hell, but when he got out of the military, things changed.  You know he actually believes that the government hacked his military implants and turned him into a brainless kill bot?  He’s messed up!”

            Gabe quickly looked away.  “Maybe you shouldn’t judge him quite so harshly, Samoose. You have no idea what he might have gone through.”

            I’d never told anyone, not even Gabe, that Dean was a Hunter.  Now I was starting to wonder if that had been the wrong decision?  I sighed and tightened my arms around him.  “Bottom line, will you please just make sure you never go anywhere alone with him?  For me?”

            He smirked up at me.  “Who could say no to those pretty green eyes?  Alright.  Just for you, I’ll keep my urges to run away with your ungodly handsome older brother in check.”

            I couldn’t help but smile, even as I tried to frown.  “You saying he’s better looking than me?”

            “Well, you clearly have him beat in the hair department.  Look at those luscious locks!”

            “Not bad yourself,” I called, twirling a finger in one of his curls.

            That made him laugh.  “Hey, not to kill the mood, but dad sent me a private message a bit ago, just before Cassie disappeared and everything went to shit. Apparently, Naomi’s pretty bent out of shape over the new set-up for the company.”

            I groaned.  “The usual reason why?”

            “You know it.  And he’s got some plans for you, as well.”

            The way he smirked at that made me groan again. “Perfect.  But let me guess.  We have to delay our announcement even longer?”

            He reached up and cupped my cheek.  “I want the whole world to know as much as you do, alright?  More than anything, I want to tell our brothers!  But we need to respect dad’s wishes.  He’s asking that we hold off on the announcement at least until after Christmas.”

            “Christmas?!” I complained.  “Gabe, it’s September!  That’s another three months!”

            “Yes, Sam, I have a computer in my head, I am capable of basic math.”

            “Don’t be a dick, Gabe!  I wanted to tell them tonight, while we were all together, before Dad Shurley left!  What if one of them gets upset?  What if they object, or...”

            “Sam!”  He gave my hair a yank, earning himself a yelp and a glare.  “Did anyone object when dad told them he was unofficially adopting you and you were now one of our brothers?”

            “No,” I admitted.

            Gabe reached back and tapped the area of my skull that covered my military processors.  “And did anyone protest when he altered your processors so you could access Angel Radio?”

            “No,” I grumbled.

            “So what the hell makes you think they’re going to object now?”

            “Because the fact I consider them my brothers and I can communicate with them over Angel Radio doesn’t quite stack up to the sure knowledge that I deflowered their brother!”

            “And quite thoroughly, too!” Gabe announced. “I am so completely and utterly without flower now that it is as though I were never flowered in the first place! Indeed, such a grand lack of flower have I that it is as if I am a virtual flower black hole!”

            I couldn’t help but laugh.  “You’re an idiot.”

            “Who’s the bigger idiot?  The idiot, or the handsome, overly-tall broad-shouldered long-haired idiot who fell hopelessly in love with him?”

            “I hate you.”

            “No, you don’t.  I’m just too damned loveable for you to hate me.”

            “Fine.”  I leaned down, kissed him, and held my hand against his plate.  “Just so you know, I am not willing to wait much longer, alright?”

            He leaned into my hand and booped my nose with a finger.  “Me either. I love you, Samoose.”

            “I love you too, angel.”

            Gabe winked at me, squirmed free, and did this little hip-shaking walk back to the cabin.  At the door, he stopped, raised one foot, leaned back and blew me a kiss. I grinned, mimed catching it, and planted it on my rear, cocking an eyebrow at him in challenge.  He waggled his fingers at me.  Then he went inside.

            I watched him go, feeling a little ache in my chest.  If I’d needed any more proof that Dean was delusional, the fact that he’d just accused my husband of sending me on a suicide mission was plenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, but sometimes AO3's tagging system really spoils, so hell with it.


	32. Chapter Three - Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the bonds of family are more like chains

**Samandriel**

            _“You’re dead.”_

_“No, brother, I’m not.  I’m right here.”_

_“I killed you.”_

_“I’m alright.  I’m with you, Castiel.”_

_“I’m a monster.”_

            That was the one that bothered me the most.  I lay in the bed on my right side, looking into the exhausted eyes of my brother as he lay facing me.  My right hand was clutched tightly in both of his.  My left hand rested on his plate, my fingers gently stroking the golden surface.  _“Castiel.  You are my brother.  Nothing that did or did not happen will change that.  And I know you, brother, better than anyone else.  So believe me when I say, you are not a monster!”_

_“Where is Dean?”_

_“He’s outside with Sammy.  He’s fine.”_

His eyes finally closed.  _“I missed you, Samandriel.”_

_“I’m here.  I’m with you. And I won’t leave you.”_

            He clutched my hand with a fierceness that made my heart ache.

            I smiled.  _“Castiel, let me put you under, so I can check you.”_

 _“You’re not supposed to be on the jack for twenty-four hours after an overload,”_ he reminded me grumpily.

            _“Yes, but I think today we’ll make an exception.  Will you give me permission?”_

            He nodded.  _“Yes.”_

            I jacked into him and put him to sleep.  He went down quickly.

            Behind him, Raphael was silently watching us.  He hadn’t been party to our conversation, but was obviously aware we’d been talking.  He was also lying on his left side, Castiel pulled tight against him, one of his arms around Castiel’s waist and the other tucked under his neck, bent at the elbow to cross his chest.  I had little doubt that Raphael’s mothering instincts wouldn’t let him leave Castiel’s side until at least morning.  Good. After the terrible shock we’d all received today, I knew Castiel wouldn’t be the only one of my brothers who needed me.  I was especially worried about Michael.  He’d ordered the rest of our brothers out and then had gone out to wait for dad to arrive, not really speaking to or looking at anyone.  I had an idea of what was going through his head.  And Lucifer, I knew, had gone out to talk to the Winchesters. No doubt he’d try to recruit Dean. Good.  We’d all heard Sammy’s stories, and Dean was a gold pin veteran. We had very few of those.  Having him on the security team would be an unexpected yet welcomed boon.

            There was a quiet knock on the door.  I looked up and saw Dean Winchester himself peeking in. I invited him in with a smile. “He’s been asking for you,” I told him quietly.  “I just put him to sleep.”

            That earned me a look.  “I thought you just did psychology!  You can do that?”

            “Of course!  I can jack into any of my brothers.”

            “That’s what he does,” Raphael added.  “Alfie’s way more than a psychologist.  He can scan, analyze, and repair our computers over his wireless jack much better than the handlers can with their diagnostic jacks. He’s also got a license to practice medicine.  That’s why he leads the handlers.”

            “Awesome!”  Dean leaned over me, reaching out a hand to stroke Castiel’s hair.  “Cas?  I’m here, angel.”

            Almost immediately, the little worried lines that had marred my brother’s features smoothed.  His body relaxed, going into a deeper sleep with no urging from me.

            Raphael gave a low chuckle.  “He knows you’re here!  You’re good for him.  Will you stay?”

            Dean nodded.  “Yeah.  I’ll stay.” He got settled in a chair.

            Careful to close my eyes so Raphael wouldn’t catch on right away to what I was up to, I tapped into Castiel again.  I nudged him down a bit further, bringing him to the same level he’d experience if he’d been under anesthesia.  Now I could do a deep scan.  I pushed my jack and went in, moving into a level four diagnostic scan. What I found was horrifying.  My brother’s brain seemed to have large gaps in it, like parts of it had simply burned out.  I couldn’t believe that he could sustain this much damage and survive! But amid the chaos, I found something strange.  _“Gabriel?”_ I called over a private link.

            _“Yeah, what’s up?”_

_“I need to jack into you, have you look at something.”_

_“Oooh, yeah, Alfie, jack me, baby!”_

            Normally, my brother’s antics would make me smile, but not today.  I quickly jacked into him.  Then I drew him in, diving back into Castiel’s mind to show Gabriel what I’d found.  _“Do you see this?”_

            All the humor had left Gabriel.  _“Yeah, it looks like memory data, but it’s not reading as his!  How the hell could he have someone else’s memories?”_  Gabriel paused.  _“Wait... Samandriel, look at this one, right here.  Do you see the date on it?  That’s from this morning, but the next one is dated for two days from now!”_

_“Do you think you could get playback from these?”_

_“Sure, if I copied a few and jacked into the computers to decode them.  You want?”_

_“I want.  Castiel keeps saying he’s a monster and he murdered me.  Maybe there’s something in these memory files that explains why that is, what’s wrong with him?”_

_“You got it, doc!  I’ll get started as soon as I can!”_

            I thanked him and let him go.  Then I went back to work, doing as much as I could to repair Castiel’s shattered psyche.

            I’d barely made any progress at all, it seemed, before the wireless jack in my plate sounded my capacity warning. “Dammit!” I hissed.  That’s what I got for linking everyone together earlier to help bring Castiel out of overload.  I never would have considered not doing it, but the result was that my indicators were pushed pretty high before I even got in here.  Gabriel had made more than one joke about my “staying power,” because the amount of time I could spend on the jack wasn’t nearly what the other Angels could do.  But working in a human mind, even one that is mostly comprised of a computer, is not easy. I tended to max out my indicators fast.

            I frowned.  I still had a bit more to go before I hit full capacity.  For a moment, I was tempted.  But no.  We weren’t even supposed to be on the jacks at all for at least twenty-four hours after someone overloaded.  That was a rule I’d insisted on myself, due to how upset we all got when it happened. The chance of someone being careless and resulting in a second overload was just too high.  And here I was, about to prove myself right!  Disgusted with myself, I disconnected, leaving the jack still in my plate but not active.

            “Samandriel Alfred!”  Raphael was giving me his mother glare, making me cringe.  “I understand putting your brother to sleep, but look at your indicators!  You are not supposed to be doing any heavy work on the jacks for twenty-four hours after an overload!”

            “I was just checking!” I defended.

            “Your eyes say you were doing more than just checking,” he countered.  “I can barely see your natural blue!  Where’s Sam? I want to know what your indicators are!”

            “I can check them,” Dean offered.

            Raphael and I both looked at him in surprise. “You have diagnostic optics?”

            “Yup.  Let me look.” He leaned over us, peering into my eyes. “Ninety-six percent?  You need to back off, buddy!  I thought you guys were supposed to get warning chimes at ninety-five! Don’t you get them in the cabin?”

            “I’m sorry!” I hissed, getting the mother glare again from my brother.  “Yes, I got the chimes, but...”  I sighed. “Yeah, ok, I messed up.”

            “You’re damned right you messed up!”  Raphael growled.  “You should have waited for Naomi to get here!”

            “I said I messed up!  And I’m out, ok?  As soon as... Oh, here she is.”

            Mom rushed in and immediately pushed her way past Dean to reach us.  Her eyes narrowed when she saw my indicators.  “I see you’ve misbehaved, Angel Samandriel!  Status report?” she whispered.

            “He’s got damage, a lot of it,” I told her.  “I started some work on it, but...”  I indicated my eyes.  “This is going to take a lot of time, and I’ll need help.”

            “Of course.”  She gently brushed back Castiel’s hair, resting her hand for a moment on his plate.  She squeezed Raphael’s arm, earning herself a smile.  Then she looked at me, immediately going back into her professional mode.  “Come and talk to me about it, Angel Samandriel, and Angel Raphael can stay here with Angel Castiel.  Let him back up into normal sleep for now.”

            “Already doing that.  I was just waiting for you.”  I quickly moved Castiel back into normal sleep and gently disentangled myself from him.  Then I leaned over and kissed his plate.  “Rest well, brother.  Raphael?”

            “I’m not going anywhere,” Raphael said softly. “You go do what you do.  Dean and I will watch over him until he wakes up on his own.”

            Mom eyed Dean, as though noticing him for the first time.  Her eyes lingered on his gold veteran’s pin with its enamel black-out backing.  He was eyeing her back.  When he saw her eyes on him, he nodded.  “Ma’am.  I’m Dean Winchester, Sammy’s brother.”

            Mom was looking at Dean like she would something stuck to her shoe.  “Um, hello, I’m Naomi Shurley, Deputy Lead Handler and Company Spokesperson.”  Her eyes returned to his pin.  “Gold pin veteran?  You’re, um, authorized, I assume?”

            “He’s fine, mom,” I sighed.  “I’m sure we’ll hear the whole story eventually, but for now, trust me, he’s fine.  And it’s better that he’s here when Castiel wakes up.  Castiel has been asking for him.”

            Dean was giving me a look now.  “Mom?” he whispered.

            “Angel Samandriel is my biological son,” Mom explained.  Now she was staring at Dean with clear distaste.  “That’s not something we let the general public be aware of, in order to foster the image of the unity of our Angels, but Angel Samandriel is the natural child of Mr. Shurley and myself.  I’d appreciate it if you kept to your confidentiality agreement?”

            “Oh!”  Dean was looking at me in surprise.  I shrugged, and he looked back at mom.  “Well, I don’t intend to post your personal business or anything, so don’t worry. I’m just trying to be here when Cas wakes up.”

            She frowned in disapproval.  “His name is Angel Castiel, especially to hired help.”

            “I’m his bodyguard.  He’s Castiel to me, Cas for short.”

            “That’s rude to shorten his name!”

            “He hasn’t complained yet.”

            She waved a hand dismissively at him.  “Stay for now if Angel Castiel wants, but please do remember that you are hired help?”

            “Yes, ma’am, I’m sure I’ll be frequently reminded of that.”

            I cleared my throat, seeing the instant dislike getting ready to boil over between my mother and Dean.  “Mom, let’s just step out and let Castiel sleep, alright?” I whispered, casually taking her arm and steering her out of the room.

            Fortunately, she went without argument.  By the sudden lowering of temperature when dad rushed past, heading in to see Castiel, their trip here had not been a good one.  I mentally braced for impact.  If she was already upset, and already having friction with Dean, that meant trouble ahead.  Very few could get under people’s skin like my mother could.  I knew next to nothing about Sammy’s brother, but Sammy himself was so easygoing that Dean’s sharpness had come as a surprise. This was going to take a bit of work. Not going into overload over the next few days was going to take a minor miracle.

            Mom put her arm around my shoulders and drew me to the side.  “Tell me about Angel Castiel?”

            “It’s bad,” I admitted.  “I cannot believe how bad it is!  It’s like something burned through his computer and only part of it was repaired.  I’m surprised he can even function!  Mom, there is no way he’s going to be anything like what he was.  And did you notice he doesn’t even have an ounce of styling product in his hair?!”

            She pinched her lips.  “That’s not our Angel Castiel!  I did notice his hair was a mess, but I assumed it was because he’d been lying down. What kind of readings did you get?”

            “I did a full level four scan,” I admitted. “Do you remember those three spikes in brainwave activity I told you about, that I found in Lucifer when he ran off and we found him in that drug den?  The addiction spikes?  Castiel’s aren’t nearly as high as what he had, but they’re there, mom.  Castiel, he was recently addicted to something! Seems like he’s off of whatever it was, but if he’s exposed to it again...?”

            She hummed.  “We’ll work on that when he wakes up.  He might be able to tell us what it was.”

            “I’m scared, mom,” I admitted, dropping my professional act to admit the truth.  “I just... I don’t think I can fix this!”

            She immediately hugged me, her professional demeanor gone with the wind.  “Don’t give up, darling!  We’ll get him back to Heaven once he recovers and do what we can.  If anyone has a chance to help him, it’s my brilliant Samandriel!”

            It was nice, but it still made me wince inwardly. I’d just given her the perfect segue into a discussion that I knew was coming but really did not want to have.

            Naturally, she didn’t disappoint.  “Samandriel, I need you to talk to your father,” she began. “We’ve been having a discussion about some of the business decisions he made with the company lawyers today for most of the trip.”

            “I see.  And approximately what decibel level do you believe your discussion reached?”

            She hummed.  “I may have yelled a bit.  And I know, that is not conducive to clear communication,” she called, raising a hand to cut me off when I was about to point that out.  “But Samandriel, your father is...!”  She closed her eyes, took deep breaths.  “You know about the guardianship plans?”

            “Yes, mother, I signed the papers and I’m not willing to discuss it right now.”

            “Then can we at least discuss the company?  Your father is making plans for this company that are questionable, at best!”

            I cocked my head.  “Would that over-volumized discussion happen to involve the new leadership plans for the company?  Because I’m already aware.”

            She clasped her hands together, drew them apart, fluttered them a bit, and then put them on my shoulders.  “Has he told you that you’re all getting executive votes, but he’s giving the main leadership role to Michael?”

            “Yes?”

            “But you are his natural heir!”

            “Actually, if you’re going to espouse that draconian ruling, as the youngest I’m the last in line.  And once again, Michael, as the eldest, takes the leadership role.  In that case, the order would be Michael, then Lucifer, then Raphael, then Gabriel, then Castiel and then me!”

            She waved her hands dramatically.  “Be serious!  You are his natural son!  The first Angel, the only one capable of jacking into and controlling the others...”

            I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “Three things.  First, and I am really tired of having this discussion with you, the fact that I am my father’s biological son does not mean that my brothers are in any way lessened.  I was born his son, but they were chosen and adopted.  In his eyes, as well as the eyes of the law, dad now has six heirs who should all share equally in his company, and that is precisely what is happening.  Second,” I called loudly before she could interrupt and protest, “Michael was literally built to lead us.  And third, I don’t want it!”

            “Samandriel Alfred Shurley, this is your father’s legacy!” she hissed.  “And your father is giving all six of you equal votes!”

            “As he should!”

            “But you should have the deciding vote!” my mother insisted.  “Michael’s perfectly suited for the day-to-day running of the company, but you have four doctorates...”

            “That’s not as impressive as it sounds once you consider that my brain is a computer and I just downloaded my textbooks.”

            “You’ve written and published dozens of articles, you literally wrote the book on the integration of psychology with modern technological advancements...”

            “Mother, I am not asking dad to give me the deciding vote!” I exclaimed, exasperated.  “I do not want to run the company!  Why do you keep trying to push me like this?!”

            “Because this was all for you!” she exclaimed. She caught my head between her hands and fiercely kissed my forehead.  “Samandriel, my sweet, sweet angel, everything your father and I have built here was for you!  From the first day we were told that you’d be born with most of your brain undeveloped, your father swore to me that he would not let you live your life as a vegetable in need of constant care.  He built your computer, we surgically integrated it with your brain with our own hands, we kept up the updates as you grew, and look at you now!  We made you everything you are, both through birth and through technology!  You are the first Angel!  And once he realized your potential, he adopted your brothers and specialized them to form the company.  But it was always, always for you!  Your brothers were designed around you, my darling Samandriel, because you were always intended to be the true leader, not Michael!”

            “Mother, that is not true!  You know that dad always intended Michael to be the leader!”

            “He may have, but not I!  I always intended for it to be you.  You are my reason for living, the beautiful child I nursed at my breast...”

            “I really do not need the Freudian Oedipal complex, mom!”

            She beamed.  “Listen to my brilliant boy!  You make me so proud!”

            I ground my teeth and pushed her hands away, taking a step back.  “Mother, did you hear yourself?  You talked about how dad adopted my brothers.  You adopted them, too!”

            “Of course I did!  And you are all my Angels, but...”

            “And do you also realize that my brothers are all too aware that you favor me?” I challenged.  “You know that’s why Lucifer went through his acting out stage and ended up in that drug den, right?  Because he knew you never loved him!”

            She sighed.  “Samandriel, you know that I care very much about your brothers.  They are my Angels, the most incredible and rewarding things in my life!  But nothing changes the fact that you are my one true son!”

            “I don’t know why I bother,” I complained, holding up a hand to ward her off as she reached for me again.  “I love you, mom, but I hate the way you put me on a pedestal and try to elevate me above my brothers!  Listen.  Dad and I have already discussed his plans for the company, alright?  I resent the fact that he had one talk with the six of us, and another with me privately, just to be sure it was what I wanted! But at the first meeting, the _real_ meeting?  I was the one who suggested that you get the deciding vote in the event of a tie, specifically so no one of us is above any other!  Michael leads us, we vote on the big stuff, and any one of us can call for a vote and challenge any decision he makes.  So once again, the answer is no.  I am not going to talk to dad because I completely support his decision!”

            She huffed.  “This is because I was a bad mother.  I was so busy with my work that I didn’t take the time to properly raise you!”

            “You know, sometimes I wish my plate covered my entire head, just so I could pound it into a wall?”

            “I’m glad Raphael stepped in for you and Castiel,” she continued, not taking the hint.  “Only five years old, and the two of you only ten and eleven months old when they all came to live with us and we made them Angels, but Raphael was still a better mother to you both than your nannies!  He should have been a girl.  He would have made a wonderful mother!”

            “That’s gender biased.”

            “Why didn’t we adopt any girls?  I’m constantly surrounded by men, is it any wonder I have little or no maternal instincts?”

            “And that’s sexist.”

            “Castiel would have made such a pretty girl!” she mused. “All big blue eyes and dark hair?”

            “Oh, my giddy aunt!”  I buried my face in my hands.

            “Samandriel, you’re such a handsome young man!  You should get out more, maybe even date?  I’m sure you could find a nice girl, maybe get married, have kids?”

            I groaned.  “I knew it!  I knew this was going to come up!”

            She seemed suddenly flustered.  “I do have some motherly instincts!  I was a terrible mother, but who knows?  I might make an acceptable grandmother!”

            I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at her.  “And I suppose the fact that dad’s new instructions for the company provide an equal share in the company’s holdings to any spouse any of us might take has nothing to do with anything, right?”

            “Well, Samandriel, your brothers’ brains are almost all computer, but you have about five percent more of your human brain than even Gabriel!  Michael’s natural brain is little more than his brainstem!  Castiel isn’t much better.  And for all Raphael’s mothering instincts and Lucifer’s ability to judge character, Gabriel’s the only one who has the empathy portion of his brain!  It’s no wonder they’re all so, well, mechanical. If it weren’t for you, they’d all be little more than machines, and they’re certainly not capable of falling in love!”

            Now I was angry.  “That’s not fair.  And mother, I do not appreciate you poking into my personal life, especially not in a thinly-veiled attempt to find a way for me to wrest more power from my brothers! Now, I am going to walk away because if this conversation continues, I am going to forget my manners.  That would reflect very poorly on my parentage, wouldn’t it?”

            It was a cheap shot, and I immediately regretted it.  But I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad when she flinched.  “Go,” she said quietly.  “Go back to your brothers, Angel Samandriel.  When Angel Castiel wakes up, call me and I’ll come help you examine him.”

            “Thank you, mother,” I said politely, kissing her cheek.  “I do love you, you know.  But your plans for me do not coincide with my own.”

            She smiled.  “A woman can dream!”

            I was in a foul mood when I returned to the master bedroom.  Dad got up and met me at the door with a fierce hug.  “How was she?” he asked me quietly.

            “She thinks Castiel would have made a pretty girl and that she might make an acceptable grandmother.”

            “Oh dear.”  Dad rubbed his hands over his snowy-white beard and looked longingly past my shoulder.

            I smiled.  “I wouldn’t try to talk to her yet, but give her a little time to cool down and then go out of your way to be nice to her.”

            “Making one of my Angels a psychology expert was totally the best idea,” he announced.  “So glad I thought of it!”

            “I thought it was mom’s idea?”

            “Shut up, Alfie.”


	33. Chapter Four - Family Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Castiel tells his story, plans and new rules are set for the future. The Angels have a major decision to make.

**Sam**

            When we’d been on our way out to the cabin, we’d all been in a great mood.  Gabe and I had come in from finishing up with another com tower, planning to get there early for a little alone time.  Mike and Luc had been coming up in one transport, wanting to talk a few things over with each other on the trip.  Raph had taken a second transport with Cas and Alfie.  Everyone was sad that Dad Shurley was planning on leaving, confused as to why, and anxious that the company was really going to be officially turned over to the Angels.

            Then Castiel had vanished right in front of the eyes of his brothers, and chaos had ruled.  Gabe had instantly spotted the wireless jack in use at the cabin, we’d nearly burned out the engines getting there, and the rest was history.

            Now we were quiet, listening as Cas told us a nearly identical version of the story Dean had told me.  Once again, I had a feeling something was left out.  Just like Dean had, Cas glossed over their time here in this cabin, saying only that Dean brought him out here to recover after he’d gone into some sort of catatonic state following an attempted kidnapping and Luc’s overload.  That had hurt Lucifer.  He’d gotten up and gone to lean his face on his arm against the wall of the cabin, his hand up to cover his plate.  That was never a good sign.  Samandriel was there in an instant, and naturally so was Michael.  I was glad to see dad get up and go over to him too. The old man wrapped his arms around Luc, and that seemed to do more than anything else to soothe our brother.

            Naomi was looking at Dean.  “I don’t understand how this could have happened.  Angel Lucifer’s security teams are highly trained and dedicated.  How could a group of foreign rebels even know we were at that restaurant, much less be able to take out the security and actually put their hands on one of my Angels?!”

            “I never did find out for sure,” Dean replied. “I had a guess, but it doesn’t matter. Never happened, not yet.”

            I did not care for the way Dean’s eyes rested on Gabe.  Gabe was sitting in his chair next to me with his feet up and his knees at his chest. He had his arms wrapped around them, his face pressed into his knees, and his hand over his plate.  I could hear how hard he was breathing.  My angel was fighting to control his emotions.  I rubbed his back to try to soothe him, glad he couldn’t see the way Dean was looking at him.  My hackles immediately went up.  I caught Dean’s eyes and glared daggers at him.  He stared right back at me, the accusation as clear in his green eyes as if he’d said it aloud.  He and I were absolutely going to have words.

            Cas waited until Luc composed himself enough to come back.  Then, at a nod from Mike, he started talking again, telling the rest of the story, telling of their amazing trip to the past and how he’d utilized Dean’s implants, integrating my brother into his time machine and going into overload.  That upset everyone.  It wasn’t like Castiel to be so careless.  Of the six Angels, he had always been the least likely to push himself past his limits.  But Gabe had told me a bit about how much damage Cas’s computer had sustained in what he referred to as The Incident.  And one look at the messy hair that Cas still hadn’t paid one bit of attention to was enough to see that our second-youngest brother had been drastically changed.

            “Charles, you can’t leave now,” Naomi was saying. “You have to stay and fix this!”

            Dad shifted uncomfortably.  “I’ll postpone my trip, of course, make sure Castiel is alright. But Naomi, I can’t stay.  That group I told you about?  I can make a real difference with them, one that I can’t make from inside of Heaven’s Angels!  If I help them, they can get out from under a government that has oppressed them for years.  I’m an old man, and I’d like to try to do one more good deed for the world before my time is over!”

            “I don’t understand why you don’t just convince them to join the network!”

            “The network isn’t for everyone, my love.  No, this cannot involve the company.  It’s something I have to do on my own.”

            Naomi narrowed her eyes.  She obviously wasn’t done with this argument.  I wasn’t sure what, exactly, she had in mind, but I had no doubt she was just trying to get more for Alfie.  The look on Alfie’s face largely confirmed my suspicions.  How someone as humble and down-to-Earth as Samandriel could have ever been born from the likes of Naomi Shurley was a mystery of cosmic proportions.

            “I have a question,” Luc called, raising his hand. His eyes were still bloodshot and damp. “Why the hell did you guys jump off the roof in the first place?  You two weren’t in any danger, so why take the chance?”

            I saw Cas about to answer, but Dean beat him to the punch.  “Because something else happened to Cas while I was gone, something that made him lose his memory and regress way back!  I didn’t know what it was, but I knew he was in danger.  So I grabbed him and jumped.  It was the only way I could be sure to keep him safe.”

            “Why the hell didn’t you just come to me?” Mike wanted to know.

            “Because you guys, you’re way different with only five of you!” Dean admitted.  “Maybe it’s because you lost your Emotional Stability Angel, or some other reason, but you aren’t, well, like this in my time.  Here, you guys all act like you care about each other, but in my time, you couldn’t be bothered!”

            “That isn’t true!” Cas snapped, surprising everyone. “We always cared for each other, Dean.”

            Dean pinched his lips together and didn’t say anything.  His face was a thundercloud as he stood at parade rest just behind Cas.

            “So now, you’re, well, damaged?” Naomi clarified. “How, exactly, did they handle your vote?  Because as your control Angel, the logical...”

            “I’m capable of making my own decisions, Naomi,” Cas growled.  “I still had my vote, even after The Incident.”

            Naomi had her poker face on.  “Oh,” was all she said.

            Samandriel sighed loudly.

            “Alright, this is unexpected, but we’ll adjust,” Dad Shurley announced.  He’d gotten to his feet with a slight squeal of his mechanical joints and stepped closer to Mike, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “We’ll deal with any issues as they come up.  But we need to keep things as normal as possible in the meantime, and that means business as usual!  Which brings me to the reason we’re all out here.”

            Everyone was paying attention now.  Dad gave Mike’s shoulder a squeeze.  “As of midnight tonight, which is five minutes from now, I will have officially relinquished control of Heaven’s Angels to the six of you.  With Michael at the helm, I know that you’ll be able to move this company forward and realize my dream.  So, Sammy?”

            I was already up, grabbing the bottles of sparkling grape juice in the fridge and starting to pour and pass out drinks. Dean, I was pleased to see, joined me. He didn’t even make a face when he saw that the drinks were non-alcoholic.  I still didn’t have much to say to him now, but at least he seemed already accustomed to the role we’d play.  He blinked at me in surprise when we’d passed out all the personalized glasses, including dad’s special “World’s Greatest Dad” tumbler, and he saw one in my own hand as well, bearing my name.  But I made no move to hand him a glass, and he knew better than to ask.  He simply moved back to his place with Cas.

            Dad moved to the center of the room, holding up his glass.  We all held up our glasses with him.  “To the Angels of Heaven’s Angels,” he announced.  “May this company bring peace, prosperity, and happiness to the whole world!”

            We cheered and took a drink.  I saw Dean shift uncomfortably, even as a small smile graced his features.

            “Now, I believe we all know how this is going to go,” dad continued.  “Michael, you know my vision, the direction I want this company to move in.  And the rest of you boys know it, too!  You all know your roles.  Michael’s in charge, with all six of you having an equal executive vote.  And if there’s a tie, well, that’s where my lovely Naomi comes in.”

            Naomi gave a small smile.  Dad gazed adoringly at her for a moment and then continued. “I built and raised you boys to work together.  Six Angels, all working for the good of humanity as a whole.  And boys, it’s time to fulfill your promise.  That means it’s time to grow up.”  He suddenly looked serious, meeting the eyes of each Angel in turn.  “I love how close the six of you are.  I love how you look out for each other, how affectionate you are.  And I know exactly where all six of you are going to be tonight!” He paused, seeing the glances at Castiel, who smiled and looked at the floor.  “This family has suffered a terrible blow.  It’s going to take some time to adjust.  And that’s why I’m going to give you the ground rules I originally planned, and add a few.  First, no more being affectionate in public.  This may be a family business, but the world will be looking at the six of you for guidance, and they need to see professionals.  So, no more public displays of affection!  Understood?”

            A chorus of “Yes, sir” sounded unhappily in the room.  I was frowning myself.  That was going to be a tough one, especially if everything Dean told me about Cas was true. Raph especially was going to have a hard time.  I saw him take his hand off of Cas’s shoulder and place it in his lap and hoped he didn’t end up becoming cold to Cas and Alfie to compensate.

            “Second, along the same line and for the same reason, no more fighting in public!” dad continued.  “We all know Michael’s bossy, Lucifer’s a bully, Raphael’s a scrooge, Gabriel’s a snoop, Castiel’s a nerd and Samandriel is a quack.  I’ve heard you all yell that at each other about a million times.  Unfortunately, so has the general public.  Knock it off, boys!”  He paused. “That being said, I see no issue with continuing to refer to Sammy as ‘Sweetbuns.’”

            “Hey!” I protested amid laughter.  Dean was giving me a look.  I ignored him.

            “Speaking of Sweetbuns,” dad continued, looking at me, “you may be hired help, but I think I speak for us all when I say you are part of this family, Samuel Winchester.  To that end, unless you commit what an executive vote among our Angels constitutes a major crime against them or the company, you will never be turned away.  You will always have a job and a place in Heaven among the Angels until you decide you want to leave.  And if you leave, you’ll leave with full pension and benefits.  You’re family, Sammy.  And you’ll be treated like family!”

            Now Dean was outright gawking at me.  There was more applause, smiles directed at me. Naomi was the one exception.  Her smile was clearly forced, even as she politely applauded.  No surprise there.  Gabe was giving me heart eyes when no one was looking.  I glanced at him, then back at dad and saw him smirk as his eyes flicked between us.  Then the old bastard came over, reached up to throw an arm around my neck and dragged me down for a noisy kiss on my temple.  I grimaced.  Way to set me up, dad, even if for some reason things don’t work out between me and Gabe.  I couldn’t imagine anything coming between me and my angel, but hey, you never knew.

            Dean looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Naomi looked more like she was seeing a rotting corpse in her living room.  Chances were I’d never win her affection, but at least I had her respect, most of the time.  She never did like it when dad lavished affection on me like this.  Now that he’d just dropped this little bombshell, though, I had to wonder if things were about to change between us.

            Now dad’s eyes turned to Dean.  “If it’s not obvious by now, Dean, your brother is damned important to this family,” he began as he walked over.  “I hope, in time, you’ll be just as important.  For now, know that I’m glad you’re here.  I know, with the two of you looking over them, my Angels will be in good hands.”

            More applause and whistles as dad embraced Dean. Now Dean looked like he’d just awakened from a dream and had no idea where he was.  He blinked at dad, managed a smile and received a pat on the back.

            “Now on to some new business,” dad announced, moving back to the middle of the room.  “Angels, I do not have to tell you that we have suffered a serious setback.”

            “I can still work!” Cas called, obviously getting upset.  I saw Dean move to put a hand on his shoulder.

            I blinked at him.  “Cas, if you can work or not isn’t even the issue!”

            “He’s right.  There is more to you than your ability to work, Castiel,” dad said patiently, earning himself another surprised look from Dean.  “Now, you and Dean have been dealing with this for a while, but it’s new to the rest of us.  Naturally, Naomi and Samandriel and I will continue to work, try to find ways to help you.  But in the meantime, what do we need to do for you?”

            I saw Dean and Cas exchange a long, silent look. To my surprise, it was Cas who spoke. “I get lost in my thoughts and wander. You have to lock me in my section,” he said quietly.  “If you don’t, I’ll wander out.  I’ve gotten stuck in janitorial supply closets or gone into dangerous areas.  I constantly lose focus, start thinking of something and forget entirely what I’m supposed to be doing or fail to take necessary safety precautions.  Someone needs to watch me, so I don’t do things like set my hairbrush on fire.”

            “That’s my job,” Dean said softly.  “I’ve been acting as his bodyguard and his caretaker.”

            “Then you should continue to do so!” Naomi declared. “Sam will assist, of course.”

            “Yes, ma’am,” I agreed.

            “Wait, no offense to Dean, but why can’t we just take care of Cas ourselves?”  I’d expected the question, but it was Luc, not Raph, who had spoken.  “I’m happy to take care of him!”

            “I think we’d all be happy to take care of him,” Mike agreed, looking around at the nodding heads.  Even Gabe was nodding energetically, his gaze locked on Cas.

            Cas smiled.  “You do, sometimes.  And you take wonderful care of me, but when you do, you tend to focus on me and your work suffers.  It’s best that I’m with caretakers.”  He reached up and put a hand over Dean’s.  “Dean is a wonderful bodyguard.  He takes very good care of me, and I’m sure Sammy can help him when he’s not busy with Gabriel!  I just...” His shoulders slumped.  “I’m a burden now.  The only thing I’m really good for is work.”

            That upset everyone.  Dad finally silenced the yelling with one of his horribly sharp, piercing whistles and we all covered our ears, wincing.  “Ok, clearly we have some work to do here.  Cas, I don’t know who brought you down to this point, where you seem to actually believe that complete and utter load of shit, but Samandriel, talk to your brother, please.”

            “Yes, sir.”  Alfie’s electric eyes were full of concern as he looked at Cas.  “If it’s alright, dad?  I’d like to add a few more of those ground rules, specifically towards that end.”

            Dad gave a grandiose flourish.  “You have the floor.”

            Alfie stood up.  “We’re all in shock,” he announced.  “This future that Castiel and Dean told us about is one we are all going to do everything in our power to change.  Now, I’m not the expert Castiel is, but it seems pretty clear to me that we can’t just use his time machine to change what happened to him, because his being here already altered that timeline.  So, we need to go forward from here.  As to myself and Sam?”  His eyes moved around the room and landed on me.  “Let’s start with you, Sam.  You have a dangerous job.  You’ve had a lot of near-misses already, you’ve been hurt before.  At any time, you could go out to one of those com towers with Gabriel, or anywhere, and be killed in the line of duty.  That’s your job.”

            “And I accept that,” I announced.  I saw Dean stiffen.

            “Intellectually, we all know that,” Alfie agreed.  “It’s easy to understand why losing me might be a harder pill to swallow, because I’m not supposed to be in that same sort of danger. But what’s been happening cannot continue.  I think I’ve actually experienced it less, because I’ve been spending so much time with Castiel and Dean’s right there.  But brothers, I have seen you all watching Sam, checking up on where he is, staying near the windows any time he’s out so you could watch him, and Lucifer, do you think no one noticed you keeping so close to him?”

            I looked up at Luc in surprise, saw the guilty expression and just how close he was actually standing to me, and frowned. “I am the bodyguard, not the other way around!” I announced.  “I don’t want to get killed any more than the next person, but you have to let me do my job!”

            “Agreed!” dad announced.  “New rule - let Sammy do his job.”

            “And stop hovering over me,” Alfie insisted. “I won’t have this constant checking up on me, and Lucifer?  I know you keep steering me back to Castiel because Dean’s with him!”

            “It is my job to protect you!” Luc exclaimed, throwing up his hands.  “I want you with him or Sammy or me if you’re not surrounded by security.  Especially once we go public that we’re officially taking over the company, we’re going to need to increase security anyway!  What’s the problem?!”

            “The problem is that you’re suffocating me! Your job is security, but mine is emotional stability.  And for that, I need to be able to move freely as I’ve always done.  Even if we do have to lock Castiel up, which I still am not convinced is necessary, you cannot lock me up!  Let me go, brothers.  Lucifer, I trust in your security, which includes the Winchesters. But as much as I hate to bring this up, and honestly believe we’re missing something?  Castiel said I was with the handlers when...  It wasn’t a break in security that caused my death, alright?  Stop blaming yourself for me!”

            Everyone looked immediately at Cas.  Cas only bowed his head and clung to Dean’s hand, but Dean was frowning at Alfie.

            “Alright,” dad said quietly.  “New rule, stop hovering over Samandriel and let him do his job.  What else?”

            “Castiel,” Alfie said immediately.  “We’re all feeling the same sort of things here, and we’ve all got the same sort of questions running through our heads.  How could this happen?  Why didn’t I stop it?  Where was I when Castiel was taken away?  How could it have taken so long for us to get to him, and why didn’t we go to him instead of whatever it was we did, no matter how haywire a network might have gone?  Well, brothers, I can at least answer that last.  If those bastards left an Angel in overload running a makeshift network, then people were dying!  You did what you had to do!  It was my job to go to Castiel, and whatever happened after that?  It happened, and I have only myself to blame for it.  The takeaway from this is that we don’t let anyone steal one of us ever again!  And meanwhile, we find it in ourselves to forgive ourselves.  Lucifer, I am sorry to single you out again, but I know who among us feels the most guilt, closely followed by you, Sam Winchester!”

            “Sam wasn’t even alive when it happened!” Mike protested.

            “Which is precisely why I feel so guilty,” I mumbled. Damn Alfie and his perceptiveness anyway!

            “But we are all feeling guilty,” Alfie called. “We’re all feeling wounded beyond anything we have ever felt before.  And our natural instinct is to fall over ourselves for Castiel.  That, brothers, is the worst thing we can do. I suspect this whole business of locking him up for his own protection came about because of over-reaction, this paranoid thought that we’d lose him again.  And what he just said, about how it’s better he has caregivers because we’ll neglect our work to care for him?  It’s all part of the same thing.  Therefore, I propose a new rule - don’t spoil Castiel!”

            “Good rule,” Cas called, giving Alfie a faint smile. “Because they do.  Horribly.”  He missed the incredulous look Dean gave him, but it made me frown.  I could absolutely see my Angels spoiling him.  I could see myself doing it.  Dean had raised me and wouldn’t spoil anyone, but in this room, he was very much in the minority.

            “Alright, the rule is that no one spoils Castiel,” dad called.

            “I call for an executive vote,” Naomi said, raising her hand.  “By the clock, our Angels now officially are in charge of the company, because it just passed midnight.  The company is yours, along with all the respect and responsibility that goes with it. Therefore, let’s resolve one last issue concerning Angel Castiel.  Do we, or do we not, modify his section in Heaven to lock him in?  Because if we are, then we should have the work started on that.  We’re clearly spending at least the night here, which will give the workers time. Assuming Angel Lucifer and Angel Gabriel work on coding, Angel Castiel’s section could be secure by the time we return to Heaven tomorrow night.”

            I shifted, feeling uneasy.  I had a lot to say, and could see that Dean did, too. But already, he knew the rules.  Naomi had just called for an executive vote, which meant that normally, we would have to step out.  Only my personal status with the family and the way Cas was clinging to Dean kept us from having to leave.  As mere bodyguards, we were absolutely not permitted to speak during an executive vote unless specifically called on to do so by either one of the Angels, or one of the majority shareholders.

            Fortunately, one of the majority shareholders spoke up. “Dean?” dad called softly. “You’ve been caring for him.  What do you think?”

            “I say no,” Dean said immediately, looking down fondly at Cas.  “Bobby rigged up an alarm system that alerted us any time he tried to wander off.  The same sort of thing can work in Heaven! If he triggers it, then I or whoever is available comes running to get him.  Don’t lock him in.”

            “No system is foolproof.  What happens if someone doesn’t hear the alarm?” Naomi asked. “You said this ‘Incident’ where Angel Samandriel was killed took place because he was actually stolen!  What is an alarm to prevent that?!”

            “It’s the Heaven building!” Dean exclaimed. “It’s full of people twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!  If he wanders out of his section, someone is going to see him!”

            “Someone missed him when he got into that janitor’s closet,” Lucifer pointed out, looking unhappy.

            “That’s why I need to watch him,” Dean insisted. “Don’t lock him in!  It’s unnecessary, and it’s cruel!”  He got to his knees in front of Cas and took his hands. “Listen to me, angel.  You can do this.  You don’t have to be locked in!  You won’t wander off and be stolen, no matter what anyone says!  Vote no!”

            If Castiel voted against his own imprisonment, I knew, no other Angel would vote for it.  And I was agreeing with Dean.  Really, how bad could Cas be?  But Cas was shaking.  He clung to Dean’s hands and rocked back and forth, the picture of distress. “I...  I...”  He shook his head, raising a hand to cover his plate.  “I abstain.  I’m sorry, Dean.  I can’t make this decision.”

            Dean looked as disappointed as we all felt.  I saw him smile at Cas, stand back up, and move back to his place, putting a hand on our brother’s shoulder.  Cas reached up and clung to it, his eyes fixed on the floor.

            Immediately, every eye went to Chuck Shurley.  But the God of the Modern Age stood as he was, looking silently back at them.  It was clear he was taking no part in this decision.

            Now the other Angels were exchanging looks, realizing they were being left to make this difficult decision alone.  “I vote no,” Alfie called.  “Castiel needs normalcy, and there’s nothing normal about being locked in!  Whatever the damage to his computer might be, he’s our brother.  He’s got dignity.  We can’t lock him in!”

            “I’m sorry, Samandriel, but I disagree,” Luc said. “I vote yes.  If Cassie is so lacking in safety awareness that he’ll wander out of his section, then what’s to stop him from going with someone?”

            “Me,” Dean immediately called.

            “Dean, you are an absolutely amazing bodyguard. And if I could somehow staple you to my brother, so that you’re always with him?  I would do it in a heartbeat,” Luc declared.  “But you’re only human, just like the rest of us.  I vote we lock him up, and lock Dean in with him, put his quarters right in Castiel’s section!  Dean should have access to be able to get out, of course.  But not Cas.  I vote yes.”

            “Well, I vote no,” Raph said.  “Especially if we do put Dean right in with him, that should be enough to keep Cas protected.  Between the Winchesters, Luc’s security team, any temporary caregivers we may need for whatever reason and the fact that I personally intend to visit every damned day, there’s no reason to lock him in.  He cannot be that hard to take care of!”

            “He’s not,” Dean said softly.  “Thank you, Raphael.”  Raph nodded.

            Gabe and Mike were looking at each other now. Mike gestured to Gabe, who sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said.  “But I vote yes.”  His eyes met mine, pleading as I stared at him in shock.  “I have heard everything everyone said, and while it’s great in theory, practice is a different story.  And yes, Samandriel, I’m aware that my own insecurities, that I somehow managed to miss a plan to steal an Angel and let this happen to him, are likely playing a part.  Dean, I have no doubt that you’re just as good a bodyguard for Cassie as Sammy is for me. But Dean, I also see that you watch him constantly.  You almost always have some physical contact.  It’s sweet, but it tells me that you aren’t exaggerating when you say that Cas needs to be constantly watched.  Like Luc said, you’re human.  I want you right in his section with him, but I want him locked in. Sorry.”

            The vote was now two to two, with Cas abstaining. The final decision was Mike’s.  I winced, aware that our oldest brother’s first real decision as head of the company was probably the most painful he’d ever faced.

            Mike paced around in a small circle, chewing on his lower lip.  “Everyone made some good, valid points,” he began.  “It’s not hard to see that this is a tough decision for us all.  And no matter what, half of us are going to be unhappy, and probably blame the other half when something inevitably goes wrong.  So I’m glad the vote turned out this way, with the final decision falling on my shoulders.  I need to get used to this anyway.”

            I saw dad and Naomi nodding.  Dad’s eyes were full of concern for his oldest son, even as obvious pride shone from them.  He’d reached for Naomi’s hand.  She took it, watching as Michael agonized over his decision.

            “In the end, for me, it comes down to one thing,” Mike continued.  “How much am I willing to risk?  Brothers, I love you all.  I would give anything, anything at all, to take Samandriel’s place as the one to die, or Castiel’s place as the one hurt.  But I can’t do that.  All I can do is weigh my options and decide what I think is best.  And this is my decision.  If we lock Cas up, he loses his independence and freedom, and I lose the respect of Raph and Alfie.  If we don’t lock him up, Luc and Gabe are upset with me, and I’m taking a chance that Cas wanders off and gets hurt or worse.  And that is not a chance I am willing to take.  I vote yes.  We lock him up with his bodyguard, and he doesn’t get out unless someone is available to take him out.  Afterwards, he’s locked up again.  That is my decision.”

            I was stunned.  I could not believe that my Angels had just agreed to lock one of their own up like a prisoner!  I looked at Cas, saw his head bow and his shoulders droop.  But he just nodded.  Dean, however was glaring daggers at everyone.

            “This is wrong,” Alfie called frantically. “It’s wrong!  Dad, you can’t let them lock up Castiel!”

            “Samandriel!”  Dad’s voice was sharp, his eyes narrowed in disapproval.  “I am leaving, and Michael is going to be in charge.  I will not say what my opinion would have been because it doesn’t matter.  The vote was made.  In the end, Michael, you were strong enough to make a difficult decision.  I’m proud of you, son,” he said, his voice going soft as he looked at the slumped, dejected figure of the eldest Angel.  “I’m proud of you all, but today you proved that you can lead.  And Samandriel?”  His eyes were hard again as his gaze moved to his youngest.  “Make this the last time you look to me to challenge your brothers’ decisions!”

            Samandriel flinched, his face reddening in shame. He jumped up and stormed out. Lucifer immediately moved to follow him, but I raised my hand to stop him.  Then I went out to find Samandriel.


	34. Chapter Five - Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samandriel has a heart-to-heart with Dean

**Samandriel**

            I wasn’t sure what I was more, angry, embarrassed, or disgusted.  I was angry with my brothers for voting to lock Castiel up, something that seemed so morally repugnant to me that I still couldn’t believe it had really happened.  I was embarrassed that I’d whined to daddy like a petulant child when I didn’t get my own way.  And I was disgusted with myself because I knew, I _knew,_ that my mother would seize on my moment of weakness tonight and use it against me later to try to get me to ask dad for more power.  “Your brothers need to give more weight to your emotional guidance, Samandriel.  You need to act as their moral compass.  This is why you should have a veto!”  I could almost hear it.

            Miserable, I roamed through the darkness outside of the cabin, waving off the guards who came to see what I was doing.  I sank down next to the frog pond on my haunches, looking moodily into the water. The electric light of my own eyes competed with the stars, reflected in the still water.  No wonder the guards had noticed me so easily.

            “Alfie?  Mind if I join you?”

            I closed my eyes and sighed.  “I’m fine, Sammy.  I just needed some time to decompress before I go back in there, apologize to my brothers, and figure out what I can do to make sure Castiel doesn’t feel like a prisoner in his own home despite being exactly that!”

            “That vote was a tough one.”  The lanky bodyguard sank down on an old bench near me, his long legs nearly at the water’s edge.  “A lot of emotions resting on it.”

            “No, there weren’t, and that’s the problem!  How can anyone claim to care about Castiel and still vote to lock him in his section?!” 

            “I don’t think that’s fair, brother,” Sammy said, choosing his words carefully.  “Gabe, Luc, and Mike voted the way they did because they love Cas and want him to be safe. We’re all pretty freaked out by what happened, and we’re all trying to process who Cas is now.  All we really have to go on is what Cas and Dean told us we did for him in their timeline.  Locking him in his section for his own safety seems like a reasonable precaution.”

            “So you agree with it?!”

            “No,” Sammy said immediately.  “No, I disagree entirely.  But it doesn’t matter what I think.  It wasn’t my decision to make.”

            I got up, moved back to sit next to him on the bench, leaning closer to him for comfort.  It helped. “Sammy, why did Gabriel vote to lock Castiel up?” I asked.  “I thought I could count on him and Raphael!”

            “I don’t know, brother.  But it’s not like you to miss things like that.  You called out me and Luc, but you missed Gabe.”

            “They were all feeling guilty,” I mumbled.  “Gabriel was feeling it too, but I thought...?”  I shook my head.  “This isn’t something I can talk about with you.”

            “Why’s that?”

            _Because you’re sleeping with him and you have yourselves convinced that no one knows it, that’s why!_ I thought.  But I didn’t say that aloud, of course. Instead, I said, “You’re his bodyguard, and you spend the most time with him.  Right now, my thoughts are decidedly unbrotherly and you don’t deserve to have to feel torn.”

            “Would it help to talk to me?”

            We both looked up in surprise.  “Dean!” Sammy exclaimed, getting up.  “What are you doing here?  Why aren’t you in with Castiel?”

            “Because Raph wanted to get him ready for bed, and I thought I should let him.” Dean shrugged.  “He wanted to know what Cas was like, how much care he needed. I figured no time like the present.”

            “Good choice,” I called.  “We’re all basically in mourning for our brother, taking time to get used to this new version of Castiel.  The sooner we acknowledge the differences, the better.”

            Dean moved closer.  “Sammy, do you think maybe I can talk with Samandriel for a bit?”

            I felt Sammy tense up next to me and frowned.  I’d already picked up on the clear signs of tension between the two brothers, especially when it came to one of us Angels.  “Thank you for coming out here, Sammy,” I said, warding off any hostilities.  “But I should probably talk to Dean anyway.”

            Sammy got up with obvious reluctance and moved closer to Dean.  “We’ll talk later,” I heard him whisper in a low growl.

            “Count on it,” Dean growled back.  Then Sammy was stomping his way back to the cabin and Dean was moving to sit on the bench in the spot he’d just vacated.  “I heard a lot about you,” he said.  “Cas, in a way, was more broken by losing you than he was by the overload. He never stopped mourning for you. Even the purple lights on the Christmas angel on the Heaven building got him thinking about you.  He named his time machine after you, too.  You were a huge part of his life.”

            “I’m not dead, Dean,” I called moodily.  “Please stop talking about me like I am.”

            I felt him shift uncomfortably.  “Sorry. This whole thing, it’s a little weird for me yet.”

            “How do you think it is for us?!” I snapped.  Then I grimaced.  “I’m sorry, Dean.  This whole day has just been a lot to process.”

            “Yeah, I’ll bet, especially if your job is emotional stability!”

            I sighed deeply.

            Dean chuckled.  “You know, I like you, Samandriel.  Maybe it’s the whole psychology thing, but you’re the most, well, human Angel I’ve ever met!  Cas said you brought the humanity back to the others, and he wasn’t kidding!  They’re all so...  Normal!”

            “My brothers and I are anything but normal, Dean,” I corrected.  “I’m an Angel.  Because of that, I’ve been given very little choice in my life, my brothers even less.  What’s engraved on our plates defines us as much as it defines our roles because anyone can jack into us and our brains will start to work.  It’s easy to override our control.  Because of that, we place a great deal of value on keeping what control we have.  That’s why I’m so upset that we just voted to lock Castiel up!”

            “Yeah” he said.  “Me, too. And you said it perfectly, buddy.”

            I looked at him.  “The reason I seem more human than the others is because I am.  I have the most of my human brain.  Without my computer, I’d be severely mentally challenged, probably not continent or able to feed myself, but possibly capable of some low-level communication.  With my computer, I’m an Angel with four doctorates including a medical license, but I’m still more ‘human’ than my closest brother.”

            Dean looked impressed.  “Just out of curiosity, the next most human is Cas?”

            “Gabriel,” I explained.  “All of our brains are severely, irreparably undeveloped, but mom and dad found certain parts more developed than others.  In Gabe, it’s the empathy portion.  That’s why he tends to be the one who considers the other side of a situation, and why I’m so shocked at how he voted tonight!”

            Dean grew still at that, but he didn’t say anything.

            “For the record, the one with the least amount of developed human brain is Michael, closely followed by Castiel.  That’s why, of all the Angels, they act the least human.”

            I felt him startle.  “Cas? But he...”

            “He loves you.  Yes, he does. And he shouldn’t be able to. Science tells us that he’s missing that portion of his brain.  He and Michael have little more than their brain stems, but it’s enough, it seems, for them both to feel brotherly love for us, and for Castiel to fall in love with you.  Maybe it’s proof that love comes from somewhere deeper?”  I smiled, hearing him take in a quick breath.  “Dean, my specialty is Emotional Stability.  In order to do my job, I have to be able to get an accurate read on emotional states.  That means I’m an expert at reading body language.  And what I’m seeing from you and my brother is two people who are madly, desperately in love, and just as desperately are trying to hide it.  It’s a wise choice.  Dad would understand and most likely welcome you with open arms.  My brothers may be a little more receptive than you might think. But mom and the general public? Well, they’re not ready for that yet. Let them get used to the idea of us Angels being in charge before dropping that one, will you?”

            “I...  You...” Dean seemed at a loss for words.

            I studied him.  “Are you two in a sexual relationship yet?  Ah, you are!  That’s interesting.  Obviously, Castiel is different now, and he tends to take a backseat when it comes to making most decisions among us Angels or with me.  But he’s very much in control in his labs.  You seem the dominant partner, but I think...  Yeah, my money is on you being the bottom.”

            Dean swore.  “I feel like I’m talking to a damned mind reader!  You’re getting all this shit just from body language?!”

            “You want to know what else I picked up about you, Dean?” I went on, ignoring his sputtering.  “That we surprised you.  What you said, about how my brothers are different when there’s only five of them? Once again, I would like to remind you that I am not dead.  Whatever you remember from your time in the future, it isn’t true now.  So do me a favor and don’t judge us until you actually get to know who we really are!”

            Dean went quiet.  “I’m sorry,” I sighed.  “I’m upset, and I’m taking it out on you and that isn’t right.”

            “Hey.  I haven’t heard you say anything that’s not true.”

            I slumped, miserable.  “I’m not ready,” I admitted.  “I’m twenty-seven years old, I have four doctorates and a medical license, I’ve trained for this all my life, and I’m still not ready!”

            “I’m thirty-two and I know exactly what you mean,” Dean said quietly.  “It doesn’t matter how much training you have, how many drills you run, or how well you do on simulations.  When it’s time to finally step on the battlefield, you’re never ready.”

            I shivered a bit in the cool air, heard him shift, and suddenly the flannel overshirt he’d been wearing was settling around my shoulders.  I glanced back at his softly-glowing eyes, realized he was using his night vision, and accepted it, pulling it around my much thinner frame with a smile.  “Thank you. I’m glad you’re here,” I told him. “And not just for Castiel.  Sammy missed you.”

            “Could have fooled me,” he grumbled.

            “You two had a fight when you came to visit.  He was upset.”

            “Well, Samandriel, we’d just been arrested after defending ourselves on the street and waiting peacefully for the police.  That does tend to put one in a foul mood.”

            “No, it was more than that.  He wasn’t just angry, he was sad.  Why?”

            “Are you using your shrink stuff on me, Samandriel?!”

            “Yes.”

            He sighed.  “I feel like I’m being theraped!”

            “If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s up to you.  But you came out here for a reason, and it wasn’t because you were worried about me.  You knew Sammy came after me.  Therefore, the only reason you’re here is because you wanted to talk to me.  I suspect it has less to do with my position and training and more to do with the fact that you find me, as you put it, the most human?”

            He chuckled.  “What you said back there, about why we shouldn’t lock Cas up?  It’s exactly what I was thinking, only you said it a lot better. And you don’t like him being locked up any more than I do.  So, I was wondering if we could maybe join forces, try to convince the other Angels to let him go?”

            “Of course I will.  After you tell me the real reason you and Sammy fought.”

            I could practically hear his scowl.  “It’s not what you want to hear, buddy, and I’d prefer to keep this good relationship between the two of us going.”

            “Don’t tell me what I want to hear.  I’m a shrink, Dean.  I have to keep anything you tell me when I’m in that role confidential.  So, as a shrink whose primary purpose is to maintain emotional stability, what were you and Sammy fighting about?”

            At first, I wasn’t sure if he’d answer me.  I knew he wanted to talk, but wasn’t sure how much to trust me.  So when he finally let out a big sigh, it felt like a small victory.  “Chimera,” he said quietly. 

            I looked over at him.  “You’re a Chimera vet?”

            He nodded.  “I was in the original group.  I told Sammy about Chimera, what it did to me, what it made me do.  Sammy didn’t believe me, because he knew Heaven’s Angels were the ones who invented it!  He couldn’t believe you guys would create something like that!  Even when I came back with this arm, he just refused to believe it.”

            I shifted uneasily.  “He has a valid point.  That isn’t something that we would make because it can, in practice, override the free will of a human being.  If you weren’t blacked out, with that arm I could send you a databurst, take you over with a single touch, and keep you under my control as long as I maintained contact.”

            He immediately jerked away.  “Yeah, and with a wireless jack, you could do it remotely, just like Lucifer’s guys did on that mission!  You obviously know all about it!  What I don’t get is, if it was so bad and you really were against it, why the hell did you do it?”

            “I don’t know,” I confessed.  “It’s actually what started my brothers looking harder into things at the company. That ended up being a bit of serendipity, because they started finding things they never authorized.  It’s something we’re looking into as we speak, especially now that we’ve taken the company over.  But Chimera?”  I shook my head.  “They all remember doing that.  But it’s still strange.  Normally, a top-secret military project like that would have its own special contract, with Michael and Lucifer digging into all the fine print and Gabriel double-checking every word.  But that’s actually the reason Gabriel got so upset about it.  The project was almost buried inside of a routine construction contract for a roads and bridges project.”

            He stiffened.  “You’re telling me Mike and Luc didn’t even know about it?”

            “They knew about the overall contract.  They saw the specs for Project Chimera, but they thought nothing of them and signed off on the original contract.  When I went back and pointed it out, they were kind of upset.  It’s not like them to miss something like that. But by then, Castiel had already built it, believing it was fully authorized.  And you have to understand something, Dean.  My brothers do not have most of their brains.  They have some version of empathy, but it’s not highly developed.  Michael and Lucifer and Raphael were upset because they’d missed those specs.  They would have insisted Project Chimera be its own separate military contract if they’d seen it, which would have required a vote like any other military contract.”

            “So, if they hadn’t backdoored it in, it wouldn’t have happened?!”  Dean’s eyes were intense.

            “I’m not saying it wouldn’t have happened,” I corrected carefully.  “I’m saying it would have had to go to vote, with presentations made on the pros and cons, just like you saw us vote tonight. I won’t speculate on how that vote would have gone.  Just know that by the time it came to Gabriel for coding, the fact that he is the only one of us besides me with a well-developed sense of empathy is the only reason I even learned of its existence.  He came to me, and I filed a protest.”

            “And he coded it anyway.”

            “Which has bothered me to this day!”  I rubbed at my face.  “See, Dean, this is one of those things that makes me think I’m not ready for this.  I confronted Gabriel, asked him why, if he had a moral objection to the project, he would still code it?  And all he did was shrug and say, ‘It needed to be completed.’ Three different times I tried to bring the subject up, and all three times, I got the exact same answer.  I don’t understand it, Dean.”

            “It’s almost like he didn’t know himself why he’d done it,” Dean mused. “Hey, the way you can jack into the other Angels, like you did with Cas tonight?  How much control do you really have over them?”

            “A lot, actually.  I can go in, alter their moods, their perceptions, change their reactions. It’s how I can protect them from trauma, and I’ll be doing quite a bit of it now!  At my level four, they won’t even remember exactly what it was I did. But I can’t actually alter their memories, even at level five.  And I’d never jack into them in the first place without their consent, not unless it was the most dire of emergencies.”

            “Why?  If you could just change how they feel about it so they agree with you, why not just take ‘em all over?”

            Quick as a snake, I shot out my hand and seized his right wrist.  “For the same reason why, if Lucifer hadn’t blacked you out, I still wouldn’t take you over right now.”

            He froze, going stiff.  Then he twisted his wrist out of my hand, cradling it against his chest.  His breath had quickened.  “Point taken.  Sucks to have a built-in access port anyone can use.”

            “Yeah.  It really does.”

            “Could anyone else do what you do, though?”

            “No,” I insisted.  “I know what you’re probably thinking, Dean, but no one can jack into my brothers the way that I can.  Even mom’s diagnostic jacks can’t do what I can do.  She’d need me for that.”

            “And you’re against Project Chimera.”

            “Completely.”  I looked sadly at Dean.  “Dean, if I could shut it all down permanently, burn out your processors so no one could ever take you over again?  I’d do it in a heartbeat.  But that’s not in my power.  What is in my power, though, I will do.  I’ll talk to Sam, tell him the truth about Chimera.”

            He smiled.  “Thank you.”

****

**Sam**

            My head was spinning.  “Then... Dean was telling the truth?”

            Samandriel nodded, watching me carefully, gauging my reaction in that eerie way he had.  “It’s not something I’m proud that we did.  In fact, I’m still confused about why, exactly, we did it.  But we did, Sammy.  And it seems Dean was a part of it.  He still is.”

            “Why?  I-I-I don’t understand,” I stammered.  “That’s the opposite of what Dad Shurley wanted!  How could this happen?”

            “I don’t know, and I’m sorry, but I’m just too exhausted to think about it anymore.”

            I looked at him.  My youngest brother’s shoulders drooped.  The electric glow from the indicators in his eyes accentuated the shadows under them. I grimaced.  “Aw, Alfie, you’re exhausted!  Come on, get cleaned up and climb in with the others.”

            Fortunately, Alfie was quick.  He was yawning widely by the time he came to the crowded king-sized bed in the master bedroom.  His eyes closed the moment he climbed in and snuggled down with Cas.  I shook my head.  Raphael, Castiel, and Samandriel with their heads towards the headboard. Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel with their heads towards the footboard.  How to cram six full-grown men into a single king-sized bed.  How any of them could sleep like this was a mystery, but I’d known from the start that none of them would sleep any other way.

            Naomi and dad had taken the second bedroom.  That left the couch for me and Dean.  I expected to rock-paper-scissors for it, but Dean had already built himself a thin nest of old blankets and was just waiting for me to leave the bedroom to move it in front of the door.  “What are you doing?” I asked him.  I kept my voice low, the way they’d taught me in the military, so that only someone standing right next to me or with enhanced audio could hear it.

            In my night optics, I saw Dean jerk a thumb towards the bedroom and the sleeping Angels.  “If Cas gets up and goes anywhere but the bathroom, he’ll have to trip over me. That way I can catch him.”

            “Dean, he cannot be that bad!”

            “Yeah he is.”  Dean stretched out on his blankets and got as comfortable as a guy could on a hardwood floor.

            I considered.  Then I pulled the cushions off of the sofa and dropped them next to my brother. “Get up on these.”

            “No way the two of us can sleep on them.”

            “They’re yours, jerk,” I told him.  “You were already sleeping on this floor once today.  Now it’s my turn.  Now get on these cushions.  That’s an order!”

            He scoffed.  “You don’t outrank me, bitch!  You never went above private, and I’m a staff sergeant!”

            “I may not have made the Special Forces cut, but yes, I do outrank you, Dean, because we are not in the military anymore!” I told him smugly.  “We both now work for Heaven’s Angels.  And you are an executive bodyguard, who now falls under the jurisdiction of the Defense section Chief of Staff and Lead Bodyguard. Who happens to be...  Oh!  Me!”  I jerked a thumb towards the cushions.  “On the cushions, Winchester, double-time!”

            Dean grumbled and obeyed.  “Bitch.”

            “Jerk.”  I stretched out my long frame on the blankets.  They were every bit as uncomfortable as I’d imagined they’d be. Thank God we were only staying here for one night.

            “Sammy?”  Even with my enhanced audio, Dean’s voice was quiet.  “I’m sorry we fought.”

            “I am too, Dean, because I should have believed you.  I should have trusted you, and I didn’t.  And tonight, I just learned you were right all along! Chimera, it’s real.  And I can’t believe it!  I mean, it makes no sense that my brothers would sign off on something like that!”

            He grunted.  “Now that I’ve seen a bit of what being with these guys has been like for you, I can see why you wouldn’t want to believe me.  They’re actually pretty awesome.”  He paused. “You call them your brothers?”

            I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at Dean.  My brother was lying on his back, facing up towards the ceiling. The green glow of his optics showed nothing of his thoughts, but I thought I knew them anyway.  “Dean?  I never replaced you because that isn’t possible.  And I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I’m sorry we fought, and I’m sorry we fought again when you showed up here.  It kind of seems like we were both only seeing one side of the whole picture.”

            “Yeah, well, the whole picture kind of sucks,” he grumbled.  “Sammy, I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore. But there are three things I do know. The first is that I love you, brother, and there is no way in hell I’m going to let anything happen to you, or to Samandriel.”

            “‘Heaven’s Most Adorable Angel,’” I mused.  “That’s what his fans call him.”

            “Well, you sure as hell aren’t Heaven’s Most Adorable Bodyguard, especially not now I’m here!”

            “Oh, ok, Mr. Gold Pin!  You know, I don’t think I ever told you how proud I am about that, Dean, that you made it into Special Ops.”

            He rolled his eyes.  “For the record, I’m so damned glad you didn’t make the special ops cut!  When you were drafted, I was terrified, and I couldn’t reach you to warn you!”

            I hadn’t thought of that.  “Thank God I wasn’t good enough, huh?”

            “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough.”

            I smiled.  “What’s item two?”

            “Two, something is wrong with this company.  I came in thinking it was the Angels.  Now, I have no idea what it could be.  I don’t even know where to look!”

            “Then how about we work together and find out?”

            Dean and I weren’t particularly tactile.  But I felt no hesitation about reaching up and taking his hand.  He squeezed it fiercely for a moment before abruptly letting it go.  “Enough chick flick moments,” he announced.

            I smiled.  Dean never changed.  “Fine,” I said.  “What’s the third thing?”

            “That these cushions were a hell of a lot more comfortable seventy years ago.”

            I blinked, and then had to bury my face in the blankets to stifle my laughter. “Are you saying that these are the same cushions they had seventy years ago?!”

            “Close enough that it doesn’t matter.”  He turned on his side to speak to me.  “What’s up with that?  Who the hell keeps the same furniture for seventy years?  I get they don’t come out here often and they want the rustic look, but come on!  You know that end table in the living room had that same nick when we popped in here in 2018?  Dr. Tran had enough money he should have at least got some new furniture!  Eh, he wasn’t exactly a fashionista.  The guy even had a pocket protector!  It’s amazing he ever got laid in his life!”

            I gaped at him.  “Wait... You met Dr. Tran?!”

            “And his hair was wild, I mean, all shaggy, he looked like he hadn’t had a proper haircut in nearly as long as you, Sammy!”

            “Don’t be jealous, Dean.”  I rolled over to face him.  “Seriously, what was he like?”

            “Eccentric.  And get this, Sammy!  I’m the reason that Chuck is walking!  Because Doc Tran reverse engineered my arm!”

            I scoffed.  “You are so full of shit, Dean.”

            “True story!  I’ll tell you all about it on the ride home.”

            “You better!”

            “I will!  Wait until you hear about my Baby.”

            “Dean, I swear, if you had a kid in the past...!”

            “No, dipshit, I had a sweet car!  I fixed her up in Bobby’s garage...”

            “You went back seventy years into the past and worked as an auto mechanic?!”

            “Yup!  And I had me a 1967 Chevy Impala.  Holy shit do I miss that car.”

            “You’re an idiot, Dean.”

            “Bitch!”

            “Jerk!”

            We were both smiling in the darkness now.  Tomorrow I’d have a sore back and aching joints and would have to put up with Dean’s outrageous stories the whole way home.  But for now, I was just content to be at peace with my brother again.


	35. Chapter Six - Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go back to Heaven, make the announcement, and face the consequences of the Angels' decision

**Sam**

            Castiel wandered off after breakfast the next morning, while Dean was in the shower. I couldn’t believe it.  We’d all been in the living room, arguing about something inane, when Raphael had looked up and asked where was Cas?  Cas had apparently walked right out of a room full of people, gone out the door, and wandered off.  We were all stunned.  Despite what Cas and Dean had told us, none of us had been ready to believe our brother really was that bad.  But now the awful proof was staring us in the face, and Castiel was missing.

            Dean hadn’t said a word.  He’d come out, hastily dressed and with his hair still wet, and gone running out the door. We all split up and went racing through the woods frantically searching before one of the perimeter guards radioed that Dean had found our missing Angel.  Cas had wandered clear out to the road just inside the perimeter and had been walking on it, straight down the middle of the road, lost in his thoughts and completely oblivious to any traffic there may have been if the perimeter hadn’t been detouring it.

            I hadn’t known what to expect when I ran towards the road and found them.  But Dean was smiling, chatting with Cas as though nothing at all was wrong.  I fell into step with him, watching as Dean skillfully maneuvered around Cas, letting the still-bemused Angel be guided back to the cabin simply by virtue of crowding him slightly.  That hit me like a blow.  Castiel was chatting away about some project or another, talking about how he could improve his designs now from last time.  He didn’t seem to have any idea he’d wandered off or what was really happening. He’d been walking down the middle of the street, and hadn’t even realized yet that he’d actually been in any sort of danger at all.

            Naturally, that changed the moment we got in sight of the cabin and everyone came racing to pounce on Castiel.  The end result was six upset Angels, one humiliated Castiel, me apologizing over and over and vowing to do better, and Naomi yelling at dad that this was proof positive he couldn’t leave, he had to stay and help Castiel, how could he even think of such a thing?

            “He’s fine!” Dean called for about the twentieth time.  “I told you, he does this, and that’s why you have to watch him. He’ll wander off, just like this. But he’s fine!  Cas, you’re fine, don’t be embarassed.  They didn’t know, but I’m here, alright?  I’ll take care of you, just like I always have.”  Castiel nodded, clinging to him, still red-faced and humiliated.  But we all relaxed a little.

            “Dean, how did you even find him?” Luc wanted to know.  He still hadn’t let go of Cas, but none of us had.

            Dean showed off his Project Samandriel wristband.  “It functions as a tracking device, too, so we can find each other.  I just ran out to him and brought him back.”

            “Then I should have one,” Luc declared.  “Me and Sammy both!  Why didn’t anyone think of this before?”

            “Because the guy who invents this stuff is the one who needs it!”  Gabe reminded.  “I say we all get tracking devices!”

            Loud calls of ascent.

            “It’s something to consider,” dad yelled over the din.  “But for now, we need to get home.”

            “I’m just glad we voted to lock the Research and Development section,” Gabe declared.  “Luc, is it ready?”

            “Yeah,” Luc said into the sudden stillness.  He wouldn’t look at Cas.  “There’s still work to do.  The cameras aren’t up yet and there’s some coding to do for access, but the locks work. He won’t be able to wander out of his section like he just did this cabin!”

            “Good,” Mike said.  He was looking steadily at Cas, who finally looked up at him.  “I’m sorry, brother.  But I think today illustrates how important it is that we make sure you’re safe.”

            Cas just nodded.  My stomach churned.

            It was, without a doubt, the quietest, most painful ride I’d ever taken with the family since I joined Heaven’s Angels.  I was dreading how we were going to handle the announcement. If Cas started wandering while we were all under the unforgiving spotlights in front of the cameras, the whole world would know about his condition.  That terrified me.  I didn’t want anyone to know just how vulnerable my Angel brother really was. By the time we were lined up for the announcement, I’d already thrown up twice.

            Despite my concerns, the actual announcement went off very well.  We flanked the Angels, me on one end with Gabe, and Dean conveniently located on the other next to Cas, ready to grab the broken Angel if he started to wander off.  I saw his hand shoot out and catch hold of Cas twice during Naomi’s announcement and once more during Michael’s follow-up speech.  It made my heart ache that my quiet, studious, fussy Angel couldn’t even keep his focus long enough to hold still during a press conference. Still, in spite of everything, I was glad Dean was there.  He was, I’d come to realize, the perfect bodyguard for Cas.  Dean always was at his best when someone really needed him. I’d benefited from that as a kid, when Dean would go above and beyond to keep me fed, clothed, sheltered and protected. Now Cas was feeling the full force of the care my brother could provide.  Thank God.  Whatever else Dean was, he was one hell of a bodyguard.  His eyes scanned the crowd for any sign of danger, yet he responded the instant Cas tried to stir from his chair.  If it was anyone else but Dean, I would have felt inadequate in comparison. But that was just Dean’s way.  Six years in the military had hardened him, but he was still so gentle.  He kept Cas safely in his chair without upsetting him at all.

            Finally, it was over and we could relax.  We gathered in Michael’s section for a victory drink, more of the sparkling grape juice, naturally.  Tomorrow, my Angels would be back to work.  After that, I knew, Dad Shurley would be leaving.  That made my heart hurt a bit.

            Finally, dad and Naomi left to go to their apartment, and Lucifer cleared his throat and broached the subject we’d all been avoiding.  “Dean, the locks are in place in Cas’s section,” he began, “but there’s still work to be done.  Making the modifications really messed up the security systems.  All the cameras in his section are down.  And we don’t have the exemption list set up for who can open the locks, so they can only be opened by me.  We should have everything up and running properly tomorrow, but for now, you’re going to be locked in, too.  Sorry, buddy.”

            “Not a problem.”  Dean had a funny look in his eyes that I couldn’t place as he stood with one hand on Cas’s shoulder.  “Cas and I will be just fine.”

            “Are you sure?” Michael asked anxiously.  “Dean, once you step off that elevator, you won’t be able to get out! And if something happens, we won’t see it on the cameras!”

            “If something happens, I’ll call,” Cas said.  “We’ll be fine.”

            “You forget, I’m used to being locked in his section with him,” Dean explained.  “While normally I can get out, I’m used to being in there.  I’m not worried.  We’re good.”

            “Maybe Alfie should stay with you two tonight?” Gabe suggested.  “Dean’s in his room, but he can stay in with Cas?”

            “Or I can?” Raph offered hopefully.

            Alfie cleared his throat.  “Guys? We need to let Dean and Castiel go. They’re going to have to be alone eventually, and they’re already used to being locked in.  So how about we show them that we trust them?”

            There wasn’t much to say to that.  We all walked Dean and Cas to the elevator, which Luc unlocked for Cas’s section using his personal security code.  Then he turned, grabbed Cas and Dean one in each arm, and pulled them both in for a bone-crushing hug.  “Call me right away if you need anything, anything at all!” he insisted, oblivious to the pained sounds they were making.  “I don’t care if it’s a glass of water in the middle of the night, just call me!”

            Alfie cleared his throat again.  “Lucifer? You’re hurting them.  And remember the rule about not spoiling Castiel?”

            Luc let them go with obvious reluctance.  They were both a little wild-eyed and short of breath.  But they were smiling at him.  “We need anything, you’ll be the first one we call,” Dean promised.  “C’mon, Cas. Let’s get going.”

            And just like that, without a backwards glance, the two of them entered the elevator and let the doors close.  We watched the lights above the door as the elevator rose, saw it stop in Castiel’s section.  And that was that.  The two of them had just willingly let themselves be locked in.

            “Lucifer, I was planning to stay in your section tonight,” Alfie said cheerfully, as though nothing of importance had just happened.

            “Sure, buddy, go ahead,” Luc said absently.  His eyes were still on the elevator lights.

            “I’ll head there now.”  Alfie pushed past Luc to press the button for the elevator.  “How about you come with me, Lucifer, instead of standing there thinking of an excuse to go up to R+D?”

            Luc glowered at him.  “I’ll be up in a few minutes, alright?”

            Alfie gave him a side eye, but didn’t say anything.  He got on the elevator and was gone.

            Luc waited until the elevator stopped at the Defense section and pressed the button again.  “I’m going up there.”

            “Me too!”

            “I’m coming, too.”

            “Sam, you coming?”

            “No, I’m not coming!” I exclaimed.  “And I’m sorry, but none of you should be going up there, either. Samandriel’s right.  We have to let them go, we can’t keep spoiling Cas, and we’re not going to accomplish either of those goals if we run up there five minutes after they’ve left!”

            “We’ll wait five more minutes!”

            “Or ten minutes!  Ugh, come on, brothers, we have to let them go.  We cannot keep stressing ourselves out over Castiel!  Dean’s with him, and he’s capable.  He’s been great so far!  Do you think that we can just trust him?”

            That got some sour looks.  But eventually, even Luc was nodding reluctantly.

            “We’ll leave them alone,” Mike announced.  “No one goes up there tonight.”

            I nodded.  But then I saw the glint in his eyes and groaned.  “What are you thinking?”

            “That if Gabe and Luc work together, I’m betting you could get at least one of those security cameras working again?  Say, the one in Cas’s living room?”

            I groaned again.  But my brothers were grinning wildly at each other.  And before I knew it, they were shoving me into the elevator and taking me to Gabe’s section.

            It didn’t take Luc and Gabe more than a minute to hack into the camera in Cas’s living room, complete with full audio.  But what came up on the holo was something we never expected.

            There were Dean and Castiel.  They’d taken off their suit jackets, their ties, and their shoes and were standing close together.  Castiel’s hands were on Dean’s waist.  Dean had one hand on Castiel’s shoulder.  The other rested on his plate, his fingers stroking the engraved letters of the Angel’s name in a way that made their unseen audience go still.  The lights were dim, but music was playing from the speakers, an old song the two might have picked up during their stay in 2018. The two danced slowly together to the music as Dean sang.

_“I found a love for me!  Darling, just dive right in, and follow my lead.  Well, I found someone beautiful and sweet.  I never knew you were the someone waiting for me, ‘cause we were like kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time! But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own, and in your eyes, you’re holding mine!”_

            I stared in astonishment.  I’d heard my brother belt out a tune or two, usually the late twentieth century classic rock he was fond of.  But I’d never really heard him sing.  His voice flowed effortlessly through the phrases of the song, full and rich and emotional.  And the way he sang this, especially the way his eyes looked deep into Castiel’s, made it perfectly clear that he meant every word.

            “Alright, I knew you idiots were doing something stupid!” Alfie complained as he stormed in.  “What are you...?  Oh. Um, we should turn this off!”

            “That’s all you have to say?!” Mike exclaimed.  Then he narrowed his eyes.  “Wait.  You _knew_ about this?”

            “Of course I did!  The way they stood together, looked at each other, spoke to each other?  Especially how they touched!  Those two couldn’t wait to be locked in together with no cameras, so how about you turn this one off?”

            We ignored him in favor of continuing to watch the dancing couple.

_“Well I found somebody, stronger than anyone I know. He shares my dreams, I hope that someday, I’ll share his home!”_

            Dean’s face was intent and serious as he looked at Cas.  _“We are still kids, but we’re so in love, fighting against all odds!  I know we’ll be alright this time.  Darling, just hold my hand.   Be mine, and I’ll be your man.  I see my future in your eyes!”_

            Even Alfie was watching now, a goofy grin on his face.  Luc and Mike were watching in awe-struck wonder.  Raph was sniffing and dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief.  But my eyes locked with the amber eyes looking up at me.  As Dean continued to sing, Gabe stepped closer, reached for my hand. I closed my own around it, held it to my chest.  My other hand moved to his waist.  His went on my shoulder.  And then we were swaying as if on instinct, our eyes locked with each other.  Dean, I’d realized, had opened the door.  By unknowingly revealing the truth about his relationship with Castiel, he’d given me permission to finally, finally let my brothers know the truth about me and Gabriel.

            I heard a gasp, a surprised laugh.  I didn’t know who it was.  I didn’t care.  All I saw was Gabe.  He’d let go of my hand in favor of wrapping both of his arms around my neck, leaning against my chest.  I held him close, one hand in his hair, leaning down to press my lips to his plate.

            “Hey Mike, you think they have any more brothers?”

            “Never mind that, do they have any _sisters?”_

            “Ooo, I call the sister!”

            “Screw you, Luc, she’s mine!”

            I glanced up to see Alfie giggling, Raph openly sobbing, and Mike and Luc with adoring expressions, still bickering even as their eyes were moving between us and Dean and Cas on the holo.

            Dean was singing his heart out now, no idea that anyone could hear him other than the one intended for his song.  He was putting all the love he clearly had into the words, holding on with his fingers in Castiel’s hair and his forehead touching the Angel’s as if he could somehow force his words into Castiel’s mind by sheer will.  _“I have faith in what I see!  Now I know I have met an angel in person, and he looks perfect!  I don’t deserve this, you look perfect tonight!”_

            Dean finished his song with a deep kiss.  If there had been any doubt, that kiss removed it now.  Then, to my surprise, Cas grabbed him, throwing my brother over his shoulder.  Both of them were laughing as Cas carried Dean in the direction of his bedroom.  The music changed, going into something light and quick, featuring a woman singing something about turning back time.  In spite of myself, I couldn’t help but think of how appropriate that was.

            “Oh! Gabe, quick, we gotta switch cameras!” Luc was already on his jack, his eyes bright.

            “No!” Alfie, Gabe and I yelled at the same time.  I dove for the holoprojector and shut it down.

            Alfie pushed a disappointed Luc and Mike out of the room.  “No more spying on our brother!  He wants his alone time with Dean, he’s going to get it!”

            “But I want to know what happens!”

            “Me, too!”

            Alfie sighed.  “I’ll have Gabriel send you one of his pornos.”

            “Pornos?  Wait, are they having sex?!”

            “Holy shit, Mikey, Cas is having sex!”  Luc gasped, looking at us.  “Wait, is Gabe going to have sex?”

            “Of course Gabe’s going to have sex!” Raph yelled, finally able to stop crying long enough to talk. “He’s going to go right now and have sex, and we should leave, right?  It’s not polite to stay if someone’s having sex, is it?  What’s the protocol here?”

            Alfie came back, collected Raph, and pushed him towards the door as well. “Yes, they are going to have sex, and yes, we are all leaving!”

            Mike and Luc were staring at us with identical grins as they were pushed out the door.  Then Mike frowned.  “Wait, Alfie, did you know about them, too?”

            “Yes.  Now get out!”

            “Oh, that prick,” Gabe grumbled as Alfie succeeded in pushing everyone out.

            “Which prick?  Alfie, or Cas?”

            “Both!  Alfie, because we were so careful, and somehow that little bastard still figured out that we were together.”

            “He is really good at that whole body language thing,” I grumbled.  “For Heaven’s Most Adorable Angel, he sure is a little shit!”

            “The public doesn’t know him like we do.  But Cas is a prick, too!  I cannot believe he’s with your brother and he didn’t tell me!”

            “Did you tell him about us?”

            “No, but that’s different!  And there’s a bigger issue here.  Those two went seventy years into the past.  If they screwed while they were there, that means Castiel lost his virginity before I did!”

            I groaned.  “Ok, two things.  One, we were together and we were already in a physical relationship before Cas even met Dean.  Two, who cares?!”

            “This is important, Samoose!  Yes, we were together before they met, but then they went seventy years in the past, which is way _before_ we met.  So if they did the nasty in the past-y, that means Cas was doing the deed before I was even born!  How can I compete with that?!”

            “Why are you competing with that?”

            “Did you lose your virginity before your brother?”

            “I have no idea when Dean lost his virginity, Gabe.  That is information I do not need to know.”

            “Yeah, well, I do!”  Gabe was scowling fiercely at the ceiling.  “That little bastard is up there right now, balls deep, riding your brother like a wild stallion...!”

            I grimaced.  “I really do not want to think about that, Gabe!”

            “This cannot stand!” Gabe yelled, shaking a fist at the ceiling.  “That’s it.  C’mere, big man, I’m screwing your brains out!  If I cannot outfuck my little brother, then I cannot call myself a man!”

            I tried not to laugh.  I didn’t succeed.  And the look on my angel’s face only made it worse.  Eventually, all I could do was kiss him between giggles.  “I’m sorry.  But you’re so crazy, Gabe!  I love you, angel.”

            That did wonders for his mood.  He pressed close against me, pulling me down for another kiss.  “Think you could be as romantic as Dean?”

            “If I sing, it’s going to be anything but romantic, Gabe.”

            “Fine.  Sweep me off my feet!”

            I swept him off of his feet, carried him to the bedroom, knowing he’d alter the tapes later.  Maybe I couldn’t sing as well as Dean, or be half as romantic as what we’d just seen. But I knew how to make my angel feel good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDDMYw_IZnE  
> And of course, "Turn Back Time" by Cher again!


	36. Chapter Seven - Means, Motive, and Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfie finally succeeds in getting the Winchesters to use their words

**Samandriel**

            I was unanimously nominated without my input or consent to be the one to break the news to Dean and Castiel that we’d seen them the night before.  Castiel took the news of our invasion of his privacy with his usual grace.  Dean broke two vases, a ceramic mug, a picture frame, and a chair.  Overall, I thought it went very well.

            Once Dean stopped swearing and breaking things, I called for Gabriel and Sammy.  That resulted in some more swearing, especially when Sammy admitted he and Gabriel were actually married.  Another chair sailed across the room into crash into the wall near the breakfast bar where I sat with my fellow Angels, calmly drinking tea.  “It’s funny,” Gabriel noted as more yelling came from the other room. “Sammy always said that Dean has trouble expressing his emotions.”

            “He seems to be expressing them quite eloquently right now,” I noted, taking a sip.

            Castiel frowned.  “Samandriel, is it really your professional opinion that calling Sammy a sneaking, lying, peeping sasquatch is the best way to express his emotions?”

            “Right now, most likely,” I assured, wincing at Sammy’s response to that one. “Kind of seems that way for them both. Let the boys get it out of their systems.  Then we can talk.”

            Sure enough, the Winchesters soon came in, poured their own cups of tea, and quietly sat with us.  I gave them a smile.  “Work everything out?”

            “Yeah,” Dean grumbled.

            “We’re going to try to be a little more open with each other,” Sammy agreed. “He’s pretty upset that I got married and never told him.”

            “Eh, the way I felt about the Angels at the time, I probably would have disowned you,” Dean admitted.

            Sammy stared into his tea.  “I never should have shut you so much out of my life.”

            “Same here.”  Dean reached over and clasped his brother’s wrist, earning himself a smile.  Dean smiled back, but it faded as his gaze fell on Gabriel.  “The thing is, you guys got married three months ago, which means you were already married before we had our fight.  And it also means, in my timeline?  It was your husband who sent you on that mission!”

            “Dean, I would never!” Gabriel exclaimed as Sammy’s smile turned immediately into a frown.

            “You did, Gabriel.”  Castiel’s voice was quiet and immediately drew everyone’s attention.  “I was there when Dean brought you that data chip.  I never saw what was on it, but you knew what it was.  You admitted it, Gabriel.  You told me that you never intended for him to die, but that he’d been looking in places he shouldn’t have been and you sent him on that mission as a sort of punishment.  And you even covered it up!  Dean proved that, too!”

            Gabriel’s face had gone stark white.  “No,” he said, shaking his head and reaching for Sammy’s hand.  “No, I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that.  I can’t believe it!  I would never...!  I _love_ my husband!”

            “You loved him then, too,” Dean said quietly.  “You were a complete mess at his funeral.  I should have guessed then that he was more to you than a bodyguard. I mean, you guys were all crying, but you damned near fell into the casket with him!”

            Gabriel bolted for the bathroom.  I winced as I heard the unmistakable sound of him vomiting. Sammy quickly went after him.  “I think we should maybe steer clear of his funeral,” I told Dean and Castiel.

            “Fine by me,” Dean said.  “I never intend to let it happen again anyway.  But this is something that Cas and I were talking about right before you came in, Alfie.  Full disclosure.  Sammy and I fought and, in my timeline, never spoke in person again because we were each operating on only half of a story.  We need the whole thing.  Because the whole point of Project Samandriel was to go back and correct a mistake...”

            “...And we can’t correct it until we know what that mistake was,” Castiel finished. “We need to talk, all six Angels, the Winchesters, probably dad and maybe Naomi, too.”

            “Start with the five of us right here, then,” I suggested, nodding as Sammy returned with a shaken Gabriel.  “The question is where to begin?”

            “Sammy,” Dean insisted.  “We start with Sammy.  Think you can handle that, Gabe?”

            “No,” Gabriel immediately said.  “Alfie, do you have your jack with you?  Please!”

            I quickly plugged my wireless jack into my plate, jacked into Gabriel, and made some quick adjustments.  “There you go.  Better?”

            “Yes, thank you.”  The color had returned to Gabriel’s cheeks, and most of the tension had left his shoulders.

            Dean was staring at him.  “It’s still hard for me to remember you guys aren’t in overload when your eyes show your colors like that.  But maybe that’s actually a better place to start.  Is it really that easy to change your reactions to something like ordering Sammy on a suicide mission?”

            I saw Sammy stiffen, saw Dean shoot him a look of apology.  But Gabriel pinched his lips.  “I would have to have one hell of a good reason,” he said.  “I still can’t imagine knowingly sending him to his death, but ordering him on a dangerous mission to prove himself?  I suppose I might do that.”

            Dean did a double-take.  Sammy, though, was used to this.  “What sort of reason?” he asked.

            Gabriel considered the question.  “Some sort of threat against one of us, maybe, because you are the lead bodyguard.  That’s about the only thing I could really think of.  Cas?”

            “You said he was looking into something too closely,” Castiel recalled. “That you’d tried to warn him off, but he wouldn’t stop.”

            Dean nodded.  “And the last thing Sammy said to me was ‘You were right.’  I assumed he’d figured out you guys were corrupt, but now I’m thinking that he found out the truth about Chimera.  Alfie said you originally objected to Chimera, Gabe.  What changed your mind?”

            Gabriel shrugged.  “It needed to be completed.”

            Dean and I exchanged a look.  “Gabriel, every single time anyone asks you why you changed your mind about Chimera, you respond that exact same way,” I told him.

            “That is really strange,” Sammy agreed.  “The single biggest reason that Dean and I fought was because I couldn’t believe my Angel brothers would ever agree to complete that contract!  And Gabe, you protested initially?  I can see that.  You always had the most empathy of anyone outside of Alfie, so why in the hell would you change your mind?”

            Gabriel shrugged.  “It needed to be completed.”

            Dean leaned forward.  “Gabe?” he called.  “At Sammy’s funeral, you were crying so hard that you nearly fell into his casket with him. You watched as they put your husband into the ground.  He was killed on a mission to assess a group that had threatened you and your brothers, a mission that you ordered him to go on!  How do you feel about that?”

            Gabriel frowned.  “Not good! Are you trying to put me into a depression, Dean?  It’s working!”

            Sammy opened his mouth to protest, but Dean held up his hand.  “A moment ago, just the thought of Sammy being in a casket had you losing your breakfast!  Now, you’re feeling depressed, but otherwise you’re sitting here just fine!”

            “That’s what Samandriel does,” Castiel explained.

            Dean nodded.  “Exactly! Samandriel works his mojo, and Gabe goes from puking his guts out to feeling down about losing his husband. Gabe, you got upset enough over Chimera that you went to Alfie about it, right?”

            I blinked.  “Excuse me, but are you accusing me of something?”

            “No,” Dean immediately replied.  “But I think you had something to do with it all the same.”

            “Yeah, I think I see what you’re getting at,” Sammy said slowly.  “It’s the same type of thing, isn’t it? Because Alfie can’t control minds, but he can alter how any Angel feels or reacts to any given situation!”  He turned to Gabriel.  “Gabe, I’m going to ask you a question.  And I want you to say the first thing that comes to your head, with one exception.  Do NOT say ‘It needed to be completed,’ alright?  Now.  Why did you change your mind about Project Chimera?”

            Gabriel shrugged.  “It needed to...  Um...” He frowned and shook his head. “That is, it needed...  No, it...  I...  Well, the prototype was already made, after all, and it just needed to be...  Dammit, Samoose, that is the reason why!  It just needed to be completed!”

            I felt cold.  I saw the Winchesters exchange a look, and then everyone was looking at me.  I shook my head.  “I’ll need to do a deep scan, see if there’s anything off.  But I don’t know what could do that.”

            “Besides you, you mean?”

            Dean’s voice was quiet and without a trace of accusation.  But it still hit me like a punch to the gut.  I took a breath and let it out slowly, forcing myself to calm. “There is one thing that could potentially do it,” I admitted.  “It’s something I’ve been working on since I was a kid and we really started to get busy when the company was picking up.  Gabriel, you’ve made some crude comments about my ‘staying power,’ but you’re right that I can’t stay long on the jack, especially when I go deep to try to help one of you.  And that’s also why I go into overload more than any other Angel!  So my handlers and I created a new diagnostic jack that can replicate what I can do.  Now it’s only a prototype, but it’s done very well in simulation.  The biggest problem with it is that it’s, well, robotic.  In simulation, while it is theoretically capable of altering emotional perception, it creates a loop.  Repetitive thinking.  I was thinking about asking Castiel...”

            My voice had trailed off.  I knew everyone was staring hard at me, but I couldn’t meet their eyes.  I was kicking myself for not making this connection before. But at the same time, I knew exactly why I’d refused to even consider it until now.

            “Alfie?” Sammy was asking.  “Who knows about this prototype?”

            “Not many,” I managed.  “I’ll look into it.  But even if it could do a level four scan, which is what it would take to create that kind of a loop, Gabriel wouldn’t remember exactly what was being done, but he’d certainly remember being on a diagnostic jack around that time!”

            “I was,” Gabriel said quietly.  “When we were looking into Chimera, I kept getting headaches, remember?  I got a bad one while Sammy and I were out working on one of the com towers.  Naomi was with us and used the diagnostic jack on me, said they were stress related. Then she had you come and help me once we got back home.”

            “Naomi,” Dean growled.  “Sorry, Alfie, but that woman has always treated Cas like a machine!  When he went catatonic after Lucifer overloaded, she insisted he still go on the jack.  Her handler told me to tie his hands down when he wanted it out of his plate!”

            “Mom’s pretty much centered her entire world around me,” I said weakly. “If she believed Castiel was responsible for my death, then I can see how she’d have a lot of anger towards him.”

            “She cracked all of our plates after you died, Samandriel,” Castiel recalled. “No one could get us to go on the jacks without you to help us.  So she cracked our plates, altered our hardware and programming, and made going on the jacks feel good.”

            “She addicted them,” Dean growled.  “Which is why I have no damned intention of letting him get on that jack today!  He’s addicted!”

            I gasped.  “You’re right, you really are addicted to the jack!  That’s why you have the addiction spikes!”  At the blank looks this produced, I explained.  “When Lucifer was a teenager, he went through an acting-out phase, ran away from Heaven and wound up in a drug den.  Mom and I found three spikes in his computer, in the brainwave interface, that we were able to correspond to addiction.  We had to crack his plate, change some of his processors, and reprogram him to get rid of them.”  I shook my head.  “Castiel’s were lower, like he hadn’t used in some time, but they’re still there!”

            “Which means Naomi recreated what you discovered in Luc to get you all addicted to the jacks,” Sammy said.  He was clinging tightly to Gabriel’s hand.  “That’s how she got you back on the jacks without Samandriel!  And she used that new diagnostic jack to give Gabe that loop!”

            “That isn’t possible!” I protested.  “To do that would take, well, me!”

            “You again, huh?” Sammy mused.  “And you’re the one who fixed Gabe’s headaches?  Alfie, exactly what effect would this new jack have on you?”

            “Probably none,” I admitted.  “We never ran simulations on me.  I’m built to be able to jack into my brothers, and that’s what we emulated with the diagnostic jack.  They’re built to allow it.  But the only one who can jack into me is Raphael, during an overload.”

            “A control Angel can’t affect us like that,” Gabriel declared.  His eyes were on Castiel, who had risen, lost in his thoughts, and started wandering around the room.  “The portion of our computer that’s dedicated to our control function isn’t one we can access, in order to avoid any chance of cross-corruption. Raph couldn’t affect Alfie if he tried.”

            Dean had moved to casually block the doorway, keeping Castiel contained to the room. “So we’re all completely, one-hundred percent sure that no one can jack into Samandriel?  If that’s the case, then what could have souped up this diagnostic jack to the point where it could affect Gabe as much as Samandriel could?”

            “Samandriel,” Castiel called.  “Samandriel could do all of it!”  He hurried back to the table, dipped his finger into my tea, and started writing in tea all over the table.  “You said you were thinking about asking me for help with your new diagnostic jack. You wanted something that could do what you could, to keep you from going into overload so much.  The only thing that could work for that is you. That is, your computer!  It’s designed specifically for the purpose. Why reinvent the wheel when all of Samandriel’s specifications for his computer are right there in the Heaven’s Angels files?  I would take those specifications, remove the biological interfaces and the personality sections, remove most of the then-redundant memory, and maintain the rest. It’s precisely what I tried to do when I thought to re-create my own control, but it couldn’t work because bringing me out of overload is about more than rebooting my computer.  Rebooting each other so that our nervous systems could reconnect was only half of it.  The other half was the personality of our control Angel.  We all had to _learn_ how to bring each other out of overload, how to talk to each other, what worked.  We’re all programmed to seek each other out for precisely that reason!  But what we do on the jacks?  That’s all mechanical, and it’s why I can work even while catatonic! Samandriel’s always kept accurate records of all of our care right here in the Heaven’s Angels computer banks. Feed that information into a new diagnostic jack designed off of his computer, and what you have is essentially a robotic Samandriel, capable of doing everything he does, that anyone with the knowledge and the access could use!”

            We all went silent, staring at the tea stains that now covered most of the table.

            “Naomi’s got more than enough tech knowledge to pull that off,” Gabriel noted.

            “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that!” I exclaimed.  “Why would she do something like that?!  I wanted it in the first place to keep me from overloading! Chimera was nearly ten years ago! If she had that all this time, then why...?”

            “Because if you knew about it, you’d insist on being the only one to use it,” Castiel guessed.  “And you’d know pretty fast if she used it for anything nefarious.”

            “Alfie, there’s a lot of things that you wouldn’t do, even if she asked you,” Sammy pointed out.  “With that jack, she had your computer without your conscience.  It explains why Gabriel changed his mind about Chimera for certain!”

            I groaned and rubbed at my face with both hands.  “I’ll talk to her.  But meanwhile, we should look at other possibilities.  Because even if, for whatever reason, mom has been using this thing to influence my brothers, why would she want Sammy dead?”

            “Because he started looking into things after I talked to him,” Dean theorized. “Sammy’s smart.  Eventually, he would have found out the truth about Chimera and Naomi.  Even after he died, I think you would have kept looking, Alfie, if Cas hadn’t gotten stolen.”  He frowned at me.  “Why the hell do you guys talk about being stolen instead of kidnapped?”

            “Property laws,” I sighed.  “Most countries have policies against dealing with terrorists, bargaining for hostages.  But paying to retrieve stolen property is allowable world-wide.  So if someone takes us, we’ve been stolen because someone has stolen our computers, which are company property, right?  It’s a way to get around ransoms and get us back.”

            “It’s dehumanizing!”

            “I agree.  But it’s better than the alternative.”

            Sammy snapped his fingers and pointed at Gabriel.  “Gabe, I meant to ask you, but I got distracted with what was happening with Cas.  There was one thing that Dean said that made me think.  He said a name, Adam Bartholomew.  He was the only other soldier in Dean’s unit that’s still alive. Why is that name familiar?”

            “Bartholomew?”  Gabriel frowned.  “You’re right, the name is familiar, but it’s not something I stored in my memory banks in any detail.  I’ll have to look in the main computers.”

            I was only partially paying attention.  The bulk of my awareness was fixed on Dean.  I’d noticed immediately how Dean’s shoulders hunched, how the corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes narrowed, and how he’d immediately reached for Castiel, drawing my brother back around the table to sit not in his own chair, but in Dean’s lap.  Now Dean had his arms snugly around Castiel’s waist.  His entire body radiated defensiveness.  “Dean?” I called.  “What is it?”

            “Well,” he began, “if we’re really going to be open and honest with each other? Then there’s something I need to tell you all.”

            I had already suspected that Dean had an ulterior motive for going to the company when he’d so clearly not trusted my brothers.  But I was shocked to learn he was a Hunter.  When he admitted he’d come to Heaven with the intention of stealing Gabriel, Castiel struggled and pulled on Dean’s arms until Dean let him go.  Castiel quickly moved away, standing just behind Sammy in a manner that I immediately saw put the younger Winchester between Castiel and Dean.  It was telling, and I winced in sympathy even as I saw Dean give a sad, understanding smile and nod.  “I don’t blame you, Cas,” Dean called.  “I can’t blame any one of you for being afraid or angry at me.  But I didn’t know you then.  Being assigned to Castiel instead of Gabriel was the best damned thing that ever could have happened to me, alright?  And none of you are in any danger from me now.  I’m here, doing the job I was hired to do here. I’ll protect you all.”

            “I know you will, Dean,” Sammy called.  I was pleased to note he hadn’t reacted to Castiel moving or even Gabriel clinging to him.  “Especially if you’re with Castiel, then you’re part of this family now.  But we’re going to have to figure out a way to break this to the others, especially Luc!”

            “I’ll deal with Lucifer,” I sighed.  “Castiel, take my seat.  I’ll go sit by Dean for now until everyone gets to process this.”

            It took a certain amount of self-control to force myself to sit next to the man who had just admitted he’d come to Heaven to steal my brother, but I did it.  Dean, I was sure, was sincere about wanting to protect us.  And the fact he’d admitted all of this at all spoke volumes about his intentions.  But as terrified as I now knew Castiel was of being stolen himself, I knew my brother would need some time.  Yet another problem I had to deal with.  Was it any wonder I overloaded so much?

            “Now that the worst of that’s out, let me tell you the rest of it,” Dean said. “Benny, my old base commander, was the one who brought me into the Hunters.  But I wasn’t the only one.  Bartholomew joined up right along with me.  Thing was, he didn’t stay in the group long.  They blacked us both out and he seemed enthusiastic at first about what we were trying to do, ending the monopoly Heaven’s Angels and later Angeli Quinque had.  But Bartholomew always was a power-hungry bastard.  He started saying that maybe we had the wrong idea.  Maybe, instead of breaking the hold the company had on the world, we should work instead towards seizing that power ourselves?  Of course, that was pretty much the opposite of what Ellen and the rest of us were trying to do, so he didn’t last long with the group. But in my time, he showed up later out of the blue at the same place I was, working for Angeli Quinque as a bodyguard. And Naomi pushed hard as hell to have Bartholomew assigned in my place as the bodyguard for Castiel.  Sorry, angel, but if that had actually happened?  I would have stolen you, just to keep him from doing it first!”

            “But Dean, he took care of me for days,” Castiel pointed out.  “If he wanted to steal me, then why wouldn’t he have done it then?  He wouldn’t even take me outside for walks, just had me walk on my treadmill or up on the roof instead.  The thing he seemed the most concerned about was that I max out my time on the jack!”

            “Then that makes no sense,” Gabriel complained.  “If I was trying to steal Cassie, I’d be taking him out for walks all the time, just to get security used to it before I grabbed him and ran!”

            “He never took me out,” Castiel stressed.  “He kept me locked in my section pretty much the entire time Dean was gone.  And then Dean made sure that when he went back to Purgatory for a week, Bartholomew wasn’t the one to take care of me.  I suppose I understand why now.”

            “The thing that makes the least sense to me is what Dean said, about mom pushing to have Bartholomew assigned to Castiel in his place,” I said.  “Mom hates veterans!  She’s from a high society family, and she’s said more than once that it’s a good thing the poor end up in the military because they’re too stupid to not have kids they can’t afford to take care of.”

            “Yeah, I’ve heard her say that a time or two,” Gabriel sighed.

            “Well, Bartholomew sure charmed the pants off of her,” Dean growled.  “She actually went behind Luc’s back to try to get me reassigned so she could get that bastard assigned to Cas!”

            “None of this makes any sense!” I complained.  “Alright.  Gabriel, would you please look into this Bartholomew, see if you can find any connection to my mother?  I’ll go and talk to her, after I speak with the rest of our brothers.  Along with everything else that we just talked about, I need to re-stress that they not let on that you guys are in a relationship, especially you, Sammy and Gabriel!  I cannot imagine that my mother is really behind any of this, but there’s a lot of suspicion and potential evidence against her.  And I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet, but that means the Winchesters are in real danger.  Dad’s instructions provide for an equal share of the company to any spouses we Angels might have.  Gabriel already has one, and if Castiel marries Dean, that’s another piece out of the pie.  That would give two low-class veterans the opportunity to join forces and use their shares to give executive control to Gabriel or Castiel.  Since mom’s goal has always been that I get the lion’s share of everything, that gives her a fairly significant reason to want them both gone!”


	37. Chapter Eight - Business As Usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Angels return to work

**Samandriel**

            I had to crack Castiel’s plate to switch out the processors I knew were associated with the addiction.  Castiel was completely relaxed when I switched on my sterile field, put him under, carefully removed his plate, and went to work.  The whole thing was done and he was sitting up and stretching in less than five minutes.  I spent about twice that with Dean, who had taken one look at the computer exposed in my brother’s head and promptly passed out.  It was something I’d been told about during my medical training.  Guys like Dean could handle blood and gore and pain, and yet pass out at the first sign of vulnerability in someone they loved.

            While Dean sheepishly iced his bruise, I spent two hours carefully removing all trace of the addiction spikes from Castiel so he could work without danger. Finished, I left them to talk things over alone and spent two more hours in Lucifer’s section, conferencing with Michael and Raphael to catch them up, tell them the truth about Dean, let them explode, and then calm them back down enough to think rationally.  Then I opened Angel Radio so that Gabriel, Sammy, and Castiel could join in.  That was very helpful.  Lucifer actually took it very well.  He was understandably upset that Dean was a Hunter, and disappointed that he’d “let those radicals brainwash him to the point he’d be willing to come in here to try to steal Gabe,” but still very much ready to trust Dean.  Raphael was worried about Castiel, and was helped immensely when Castiel joined our conversation and assured him that Dean was trustworthy.  Obviously, the two had settled their differences.

            The biggest holdout was Michael.  _“I need some sort of trial period, I guess,”_ he was saying.  _“I see how well he takes care of Cas, and it’s obvious that Cas is head over heels.  But how do we really know we can trust him?”_

_“You don’t.  So let me earn it.”_

_“I, um, brought him into Angel Radio,”_ Castiel called, considerably later than would have been helpful.  _“I forgot. I’m sorry.”_

 _“No no, don’t be!”_   Lucifer’s voice was warm.  _“Dean, welcome to Angel Radio!  Michael, he wants to earn it, let him earn it.  What would you like him to do?"_

Michael’s sigh carried over our channel.  _“Honestly? Keep doing what you’re doing, show me you’re not a threat.  It’s painfully obvious that Luc still trusts you despite everything!”_

_“Of course I do.  I trusted him before!  I was shocked to hear you were a Hunter, Dean, but I know a lot of Chimera veterans are.”_

_“That’s something I’d like to talk to you about at some point, Luc,”_ Dean said.

            _“Sure, no problem!”_

 _“I think I should be there for that conversation,”_ I called.  _“It’s likely to be a bit volatile.”_

            _“Why?”_ Lucifer sounded confused.

            I grimaced at my brother’s complete lack of empathy.  _“That’s why.  Conversation for a later date.”_

            _“You just be careful, Dean Winchester!”_ Raphael warned.  _“Don’t you hurt our brother!”_

            _“He won’t,”_ Sammy assured at the same time Dean did.  _“They’re engaged, so Dean is about to become your brother, too!”_

            That had done wonders to lighten the mood.

            Following our chat, I’d moved from section to section, checking up on my brothers as they worked.  By now it was well into the day, but I still did very little, as they’d been off the jacks for two days now.  Everyone was hard at work, the Heaven building’s massive banks of computers humming along as the six of us did what we did best, seamlessly working together. We always did our best work when we were all on the jacks at the same time.  All six indicator lights above the doors would be out before dinner at this rate. Good.  That should make the board of directors happy.  They always got ants in their pants any time we weren’t maxing out the jacks and raking in the money.

            When I got to the Information section, though, Gabriel had some news for me. “I cracked those memory files you found buried in Castiel’s computer,” he told me as he continued to work and I nudged his stability on the jack.  “Alfie, they’re your memories!  I put them on data chips for you, if you want to grab them out of the computer there. Take a look.  The first one showed our day as it probably would have been if Cassie hadn’t vanished out of that car and ended up in the cabin with Dean. And the second one was just you working, like you are now, today, without our earlier conversation.  The part where you go up to tend to Cassie’s on there, and his hair’s perfect, his uniform’s spotless and wrinkle-free, he’s got his projects all perfectly lined up, just like he always did.  Have you seen him yet?”

            “No?”

            “Go check him out!”

            I quickly finished with Gabriel, grabbed the data chips, ran my fingertips over their titanium surface and viewed the data.  Gabriel was right, these were clearly my memories.  It gave me an odd sense of doubling, seeing things through my own eyes.  Even my jack data was on the file.  Disturbed, I headed up to Research and Development, tapping a security guard for a check on my indicators.  Eighty percent.  Dammit. Once again, I found myself longing for the new diagnostic jack.  But until I could rule out some of the things we’d theorized about this morning, I didn’t dare do any more work with it.

            Then I stepped out of the elevator and into utter chaos.

            Castiel’s staff was racing through the halls, carrying papers or components, shouting and pushing equipment from one lab to the next.  As I watched, two frantic techs collided in the hall in an explosion of paperwork.  The two hastily apologized even as they scrambled to reclaim their paperwork.  Castiel’s lead assistant saw me and pounced. “Angel Samandriel, thank God!  I was just about to call for you.  You’ve got to do something!  Angel Castiel’s gone insane!”

            “Calm down,” I soothed.  “He’s had an accident and he’s going to need some patience...”

            “Patience?!  He’s turning the entire section upside-down!”  She pushed me towards Castiel’s lab.  “His bodyguard’s in there, but Angel Castiel won’t listen to him! Please, you have to do something!”

            Oh shit.  I ran to the lab, unlocked it with my override code, and went in.

            Castiel’s lab made me pause.  He had five different projects out at once, their holographs all crowded into the space of his lab at the same time with none of his usual order or efficiency. My brother was flitting from project to project like a bee buzzing from flower to flower.  He was, I realized, giving instructions to three different satellite labs for prototypes while completely changing the designs for two other projects on site.  Castiel himself was a mess.  He had the top of his uniform on inside-out.  His hair looked like a bird’s nest and seemed to still have a bit of shampoo in it.

            Dean was on the floor of the lab, looking like he was ready to tear out his own hair.  He brightened when he saw me.  “Samandriel! Do you see this shit?!  I sent him to the shower like normal and Luc wanted to talk to me about setting up security perimeters so I can take him on walks. And while I was talking to Luc, Cas came running out of the shower looking like that!”  He pointed accusingly to Castiel, who was oblivious to us both.  “Little shit ran out and straight into his lab and locked the door.  By the time I got the lock overriden, he was already doing this, and now he won’t listen to me!  He’s gonna overload, his people are going berserk, those outside labs are flipping out, and I can’t reach the son of a bitch because he’s flying on that damned belt!”

            I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.  Then I waved Dean into position under Castiel, moved to the antigrav generators, and switched them off.

            Castiel dropped like a stone to land in Dean’s arms.  He immediately started squirming.  “Let me go, Dean, I’m busy!  Vermont, you’re going to have to watch the temperature indicators or you’re about to have an explosion on your hands.  Tennessee, increase voltage in section D by 15%.  That should solve the conduction issue.  Lab B, where did you get that piston?  No no, that needs to go to lab A, not lab B!”

            “Dean, hold him, please.  Castiel, may I jack into you?”

            “Sure, go ahead.  Alright, Vermont, your temperature indicators are still rising, that is getting dangerous. Please vent off some of that heat, yes, thank you!  Perfect, Tennessee, now please run the testing protocol.  Ohio, looking good, try increasing the capacity.  What is going on in lab A that we can’t get the right parts?  Lab B, what are you even doing?  I have no idea what that is!  Oh dear, I think it’s about to...  Yes, yes it is.”

            Fire alarms blared outside.  Dean swore and started for the door, dragging my resisting brother with him.  “What are you doing?  Let me go!  Vermont, your temperatures are still too high, shut down, now!  Yes, I know, we’ve got a fire here, too.”

            “Dean, stop, please, before we end up with three more fires,” I called.  “Castiel? You need to sign off on everything for now, alright?  Your people in your labs cannot keep up with you!  You have to slow down!”

            Castiel squirmed, his eyes still on the holograms of his projects floating above our heads.  “Ohio, I want to start a testing protocol on...”

            “Castiel!”  I had already jacked into him, and could feel his excitement.  I tamped it down a bit and caught his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.  “You’re very excited.  Is it because you have a chance to correct your past mistakes on these projects, make them better, and I’m here in case you overload?”

            “Of course it is!  It’s been so long since I could work to capacity and I’ve got so many ideas!  Dean, let go of me.  Samandriel, I’m a year ahead!  I can do so much, make so many improvements...”

            “Castiel!  Look at me. Your people in your lab cannot keep up with the speed of these holograms, remember?  You are doing too much at once!  Look, lab B’s hologram is on fire, Vermont’s hologram is on fire, and Ohio’s is starting to shake.  Lab A still can’t find that piston and you’re three instructions ahead of where they’d be if they had it.  Tennessee can run on their own now.  Stabilize Ohio, let lab A find that piston, let lab B and Vermont put out their fires, and then take a break!”

            Castiel slumped in Dean’s arms.  He was much calmer now as he gave out instructions.  Then he meekly shut down his lab.  I was sure I heard cheering from out in the halls.

            Dean was red-faced and upset, but his voice, and his hands as he removed my brother’s belt, were gentle.  “Did you put this antigrav belt on yourself?  Cas, it’s not even properly fastened!  You could have fallen out of it!  Oh, angel, I should have realized how excited you’d be and paid more attention to you instead of setting up that perimeter with Luc.  No no, shhh, don’t be upset.  This is my fault.  I’m the only one here who knows what you’re like.  I’m sorry.  Come on, let me get you taken care of.”

            Dean had said exactly the right thing, and Castiel responded immediately. I trailed along, still jacked into Castiel as Dean led the chagrined Angel back to his private quarters.  I waited while Dean took Castiel into the bathroom and got him cleaned up.  “Castiel?” I called through the door.  “I found some rogue files in your head.  I wonder if I can take another look, see if I can’t find more?”

            “Sure!” he yelled back.

            I took a quick peek while Dean finished making him presentable and picked the file with the latest date.  I quickly copied it and sent it to the computers to record to a data chip.  I’d grab it later.

            I was pleased to see that Castiel was smiling again when they returned. Dean sat him down, produced a familiar golden and amber comb, and started to comb down Castiel’s hair.  I cocked an eyebrow.  “That’s something I’m going to have to speak with Gabriel about,” I announced.  “He’s breaking a rule.”

            Dean kept combing.  “What’s that?”

            “That comb,” I explained.  “We made a rule that no one is supposed to spoil Castiel, so Gabriel gives him his best comb?”

            “It’s not like that,” Castiel called.  “This isn’t Gabriel’s comb, not exactly.  I had, um, an accident with my hairbrush and we made a rule that I’m only allowed non-flammable combs.”

            My other eyebrow rose to join the first.  “Non-flammable?”

            “This is hardly the first time I’ve started fires,” Castiel sighed.  “At any rate, I kept losing my combs, so I’m actually glad this was in my trench coat.  Gabriel gave it to me after we got back from Sammy’s funeral.  He said I was the one who was the fussiest about my hair anyway, so I should have it.  Somehow, it ended up in my trench coat.  So that’s actually Gabriel’s from the other timeline.”

            Dean paused.  “This is Gabe’s comb?”

            “Gabe’s pride and joy, actually,” I explained.  “That’s why I’m surprised he has it.  That comb, the reason it’s gold and amber is because it’s for Gabriel, to match his eyes.  Sammy got it for him, I suspect as a secret wedding present.”

            Dean froze.  “Sammy got him this?”

            Castiel nodded sadly.  “It would have been the last thing Sammy gave him before he died.  So yeah, in retrospect, I suppose it is odd he gave it to me.”

            Dean began to comb Castiel’s hair again.  But I could see he was making himself do it.  His green eyes were distant, flickering with his private thoughts. Something was obviously on the bodyguard’s mind.  But right now, I needed to tend to Castiel.

            “Castiel, I don’t have to tell you that the damage to your computer is bad,” I began.  “I checked when I cracked your plate.  What’s in there now is the best we’re going to get.  So, I have to see what I can do with it.  I don’t suspect it will be much.”

            “Anything you can do for me is helpful!” Castiel exclaimed. “Samandriel, I know I’ll never be what I was, but I can’t even use a brush, and I can’t imagine what my lab assistants think of me!  How bad was the fire damage?”

            “Never mind,” I told him.  “I need to put you back under and do a really deep scan to affect repairs, alright?  Go lie down on the couch.”

            “Your shrink wants you to lie on the couch,” Dean announced.  His attention, I saw, was still elsewhere as he helped Castiel to lie on the couch.  “Ok, now tell the doc about your mother!”

            “I have no idea who my mother is.  Dad adopted me from a group home.  I was born missing most of my brain and should have been little more than a vegetable.  It’s understandable why my biological parents didn’t want me, so I never had any interest in finding out who they...”

            “Castiel, he’s making a joke,” I explained, seeing Dean wince.  “Do I have your permission to put you under?"

            He closed his eyes and relaxed.  “Yes.”

            I will admit that I was careless.  I fully confess that seeing yet another example of just how bad my closest brother had become had rattled me.  As a professional, I am aware that I should have taken a step back, given myself room to process my own emotions, and brought mom or another handler or two in to help me.  And I most certainly should not have kept going, trying to go just a little further when my capacity chimes sounded.  But in retrospect, I’d been burying my own emotions.  More than any other of my brothers, I was closest to Castiel.  We were only a month apart in age.  Raphael had raised us together from infants. Even though we didn’t resemble each other, our brothers had frequently referred to us as “the twins.”  It was a title we’d embraced, even frequently dressing alike when we were young.  As our paths diverged, we’d remained close.  I knew everyone’s secrets, but Castiel knew mine.  And no one knew Castiel better than I did.  To see my brilliant, somewhat vain, fashion-conscious, fastidious brother reduced to what I’d seen in his lab today had shattered something inside of me that I had quite simply refused to acknowledge.  And now I was paying the price.

            Any of us will tell you about overload in exactly two words - overload sucks. The first symptom is dizziness, followed by repetitive thinking.  Later, I learned I’d started repeating the words “without representation” over and over for about five minutes straight for some inane reason that I still cannot puzzle out.  I’m told that I got up and started walking around in a circle, repeating that phrase over and over.  And of course, the single biggest problem with my overloads is that mine nearly always happen while I’m jacked into another Angel, which frequently puts them into a pseudo-overload right along with me.  But by the time I’d tripped both of our overload indicators, I didn’t even know Castiel was there.  I couldn’t think, couldn’t process what I was getting through my senses.  I had no idea where I was, what was happening.  Only a few things really stay with me from any overloads.  The first is that it hurts.  Every nerve in my body feels like it’s being electrocuted.  My nervous system and the computer that makes up my brain are in full revolt, fighting against each other in a way that no human being could understand without experiencing it.  And it’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  It was something beyond pain, beyond confusion, beyond any words I have to describe it.  It was enough to knock me out of any sense of myself, out of anything except the awfulness of it, the intense, all-consuming desire for it to end.  There was nothing I wouldn’t have done to make it stop.  I was desperate for Raphael.

            Fortunately, Dean understood immediately that I’d gone into overload. I later learned he’d seen my indicators reaching max and had tried to stop me, but by then I’d gone too deep, going into a level five scan, and had little awareness of anything outside of my work.  When “Music Box Dancer” started playing and my violet light had flashed, immediately followed by Castiel’s blue, he hadn’t understood what was happening and thought Castiel had somehow gone into overload as well.  So he’d grabbed me, pushed Castiel up on the couch and climbed on with me so he could hold us both close together, and had started yelling for Raphael.  Naturally, he was already on his way, and so were all the rest of my brothers.  The instant the overload indicators went off, they’d been up and running, obeying our programmed instinct to get together.

            That, I knew for a fact, had been programmed into all six of us by one Naomi Shurley, specifically for me.  Because the one thing that I needed most any time I went into overload was Angels, as many as I could have near me.  I needed my brothers like I needed air.  Ironically, when I went into overload, my emotions were completely out of my control. I could vaguely remember sobbing uncontrollably, crying for Raphael, and struggling to get away and get to him. Dean’s instincts were great.  He did exactly the right thing.  When he brought me close to Castiel, I reached for my brother, latched onto him.  And when the rest of my brothers got there and immediately surrounded me, Castiel was already there.

            Since none of my brothers was capable of linking us all together the way I could, it took a much longer time for Raphael to bring me out of overload than any of my brothers could with me helping.  And naturally, because any time I screwed myself I never used lube, since I’d pulled Castiel down into a level five scan, no one could wake him up but me. And guess what, I’d already maxed myself out and beyond.

            That’s why I couldn’t believe it when I finally opened my eyes post-overload and found myself in what could only be my own elaborately-decorated bedroom, in the overly fluffy, ridiculously expensive bed that I never ever slept in unless I couldn’t avoid it.  The room was loaded down with trophies, awards, plaques, diplomas, and framed articles featuring me.  It was, in essence, a fucking _shrine_ to me.  And that meant only one thing.  I groaned. “Dammit, mother!”

            “You’re awake!  Oh, my angel, what have you done to yourself again?”

            “But Castiel!” I cried, trying to get up.  “He’s...”

            Mother’s hands were on my shoulders, pushing me back down onto the bed. “Castiel is fine.  That Winchester boy can take care of him until you’re back on your feet.”

            “How could you take me?!” I accused.  “You know that I need my brothers!  Why the hell would you take me again?!  You promised me that last time would be the last time!”

            “I know, but that was before what happened to Castiel,” mom insisted, pushing me down again as I tried to get up.  “I’d like to remind you that you have overloaded twice since I made you that promise, and I have left you alone as agreed.  But Castiel actually _killed_ you in that other timeline! If you think for one moment that I am going to leave you alone and helpless...!”

            “I wasn’t alone and helpless, I was with my brothers and the Winchesters!”  I pushed at her, trying again to sit up.  “Let me up!  You know I do not want to be here!”

            “Samandriel, enough.  You just woke up from an overload, and you’re exhausted.  That’s why I had the handlers bring you here!”

            “And it’s why I’d like them to take me back!  I need to be with Castiel, mom, you know that!”

            “He’s with his bodyguard.  Samandriel...”

            “Don’t, ok?  Just don’t!” I rubbed at my face, hating the dizziness and weakness I still felt.  Then I looked at her.  “That new diagnostic jack we were working on.  You said you were going to do some work on it.  Did you?”

            She smiled, pleased.  “Yes, I did! It’s still got a ways to go before it can do a level four scan, and I’m afraid level five is out of our reach, but we’re very close to a level three!”

            “So you have been working on it.”  I narrowed my eyes.  My parents were the only ones I’d never been able to read, but I was sure she was hiding something now.  “Have you been using it?  Have you been using that jack on my brothers?!”

            Her face suddenly went blank.  She pulled the blankets up to my chin, tucking them tightly around me.  “You need to rest.  Don’t worry, mommy’s right here!  I won’t ever let anything happen to you, no matter what the future might bring.”

            I narrowed my eyes, struggling with the blankets.  “You know I signed that paper this morning, mother.  You’re not the one I chose to make legal decisions for me if anything happens!”

            “That will change.”  Her voice was suddenly colder than I’d heard it in years.  “Samandriel, I am your mother.  No one on this Earth loves you more than I do, no one knows you better, and no one has fought and sacrificed more for you than I have!  And I will _not_ allow anyone to take you away from me!”  She was holding me down now, even as she gave me a reassuring smile.  “Relax, angel.  I’ve already called for my legal team.  We are going to make some changes!”

            “Mom, even if I was in any condition right now to deal with this bullshit, my answer would still be no!  I signed the papers and I’m not changing my mind!”

            “We’ll see.”

            I pushed at her, straining to get up when my body wanted nothing more than to slip back into unconsciousness.  “Let me up! I want to go back to my brothers!”

            “No, my son, this time you are _not_ leaving!”

            “Naomi!  What are you doing?!  You’ve brought Samandriel down here again?!”

            Her face flushed.  “Stay out of this, Charles!”

            I breathed a sigh of relief.  “Dad, please help me get back to my brothers?”

            “Of course.  Come here.”

            I gratefully reached for him, but mom threw her arms around me.  “Charles, no!  He needs...”

            “He needs his brothers, Naomi, and they need him.  Now let him go!”

            For a moment, I thought mother would refuse.  But she let me go.

            The old man was already helping me climb out of the bed.  I was mortified to realize I was in my pajamas.  “Mom, where are my clothes?!”

            “Never mind, I’ll bring them up,” dad assured me.  “Come on.  Security can only delay your mother’s lawyers for so long.”

            “Charles, don’t you take him from me!” mom shrieked.  “Don’t you dare!  Charles!”

            “Enough, Naomi!”

            “No! Samandriel!”

            She was reaching for me again, but I jerked my arm away.  “Let me go!” I yelled.  “I’m not changing my mind, and I swear, the next time I overload, if you take me away from my brothers again, I’m done speaking with you!  I mean it!  Leave me alone!”

            She collapsed as though she’d been struck, falling onto my bed and clinging to my pillow.  I could hear her sobbing as dad helped me out.  My heart ached.  “Maybe I was too rough on her?”

            “You weren’t,” dad insisted.  “We love your mother, but that was long overdue, son.  I’m leaving now, and you’re going to have to learn to deal with her on your own.  Michael will be your best ally there.  You need to teach him that it’s alright to stand up to her!  He never should have let her take you.  None of your brothers should have!”

            I nodded.  “You’re right.  Michael’s the leader, and...  Wait, you’re leaving now?!"

            The old man was still spry.  He had no trouble supporting me, even in my weakened state.  We were already at the elevator.  “I can’t do any more for Castiel than you and your mother can. And now that your brothers fixed the access codes for the Research and Development section, none of us should have any trouble getting in and out to help him.”

            “Except for Castiel!”

            “That’s for you and your brothers to work out.  It’s the Winchesters I want right now.  Let me get you into Cas’s section, so you can wake him back up once you’re able.  Meanwhile, I need to have a chat with those two brothers.  I’ve got some very important instructions for them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the biggest, baddest guys are the one who pass out when their loved ones are in distress in real life. Trust a nurse on that one.


	38. Chapter Nine - A Mission From God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck has a mission for the Winchesters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I wrote this chapter to is "Fare Thee Well (Dink's Song)" sung by Rob Benedict, who plays Chuck on the show!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLRZFLKEXS4

**Sam**

            Dad Shurley took us to, of all places, the roof.  Summer was rapidly coming to an end, and the wind had a bit of a bite to it.  It stirred his snowy white curls and beard, put roses in his cheeks, and caused all three of us to huddle into our company jackets.

            “I wanted you boys to know that I’m leaving,” he began.  “I’ll be going into a literal warzone, heading into the middle of a civil war that’s been going on for well over a decade.  And I don’t expect that I’ll be coming back.  In fact, I’ve already made arrangements to have my ID chip removed.  No one will be able to prove that I’m Chuck Shurley, specifically so I can’t ever be used against Heaven’s Angels.  I’ll be going out without access to my company, my connections, my money, or my influence for that reason.  I won’t be used as a pawn against my boys.”

            “Why?!” I blurted out.  “Dad, I know you were planning to go and try to work in an unnetworked country, but this? D-does Michael know about this, or Lucifer?”

            The old man’s lips curled into a smile.  “Sammy, I’ll say goodbye, but my Angels are in charge of the company, now. While I designed the company to be neutral, the truth of the matter is that it’s available to anyone who can afford it.  Raphael’s careful to adjust our prices, only charging what each member client can afford. But in this particular instance, the ruling government is resistant to joining and the rebels don’t have the collective leadership or resources to negotiate a contract.  If I can reach them, organize them?  I can help those rebels band together to finally overthrow a government that has been a yoke on their necks for generations.”  He moved closer to the edge, looking out at the city with his back to us.  “They claim to have seen atrocities committed by their ruling government that I can scarcely imagine,” he called, “but there’s no proof, no evidence, because their government holds all their communications in an iron grip.  Michael has only started working with that government, trying to get them in the network so we could try to end both the war and any atrocities.  But even if he succeeds, Gabriel’s going to have his hands full trying to see what’s really happening there.”

            “So, you only want Heaven’s Angels to contract with these assholes so you can watch them?” Dean called.  “Then what, they misbehave and Luc goes in and spanks ‘em?”

            “That’s not how it works, Dean,” I corrected.  “Heaven’s Angels tries to improve the quality of life for member clients to the point where there’s no need for civil war, violence, and atrocities.”

            “Sammy is correct,” Dad confirmed.  “But until they contract, Heaven’s Angels cannot interfere.  And if these atrocities are really happening now, they won’t contract until they’ve crushed the rebellion.  And meanwhile, the people are suffering.  That’s why I’m going there.  I’ll do what I can on my own, try to either expose any atrocities so that those responsible can be brought to justice, or negotiate a peaceful surrender.”

            “Hey, Chuck, that’s cool and all, but I gotta ask why?” Dean asked. “What’s so special about this place?”

            In answer, the old man held up a folded, wrinkled, often-perused envelope. “Because a little girl from that country wrote to me and asked me to help.  She’s the only survivor of her family after a government raid that took away her parents, her older siblings, and her aunt and started a fire that killed both of her younger siblings.  This letter, it’s her prayer for my help.  I have to give it to her, boys.  I have to.”

            That made me speechless, and I could see it had the same effect on Dean.  My chest swelled with pride.  Chuck Shurley, the God of the Modern Age, was choosing to walk alone into a war-torn country somewhere in response to a plea for his help from a child he’d never met.

            Dean was watching dad, chewing on his lower lip as dad tucked the letter back into his pocket.  “What do you need from us?” he asked quietly.

            Dad turned and came forward.  His old joints creaked softly as he moved, walking until he was standing close to us. Then he reached out his hands, taking our outside shoulders as we faced him.  “I’m giving my company to my Angels.  But I’m giving my Angels to the two of you.  Sammy, you know how I feel about you.  In my eyes, you’re like my own son.  And Dean, between what Sammy told us about you, what Castiel said, and what I’ve seen?  I know you’re the same.  It took some last-minute calls and some pissed off lawyers, but hey, pissing off lawyers is practically my hobby.  Bottom line, the two of you are now the legal guardians for my Angels.  If anything should happen to them, where they’re incapable of making decisions for themselves, the responsibility falls to Sammy, and then to you, Dean.  I know I can count on you to make the best decisions for them.”

            I nearly fell over.  My brain was a whirlwind of emotions.  My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

            Dean didn’t seem to have that problem.  “You don’t even know me!” he exclaimed.  “You know nothing about me except what you’ve been told.  You don’t know my background, or what I believe in, or anything!  I could be anyone!”

            Dad let go of me to grasp Dean’s head with both of his hands.  “You are Dean Winchester,” he announced.  “That’s all I need to know.”

            I saw my brother go pale, saw his eyes squeeze shut.  “I’m a Hunter!” he blurted.  “Chimera destroyed my life, and then this company killed my brother, so I came here wanting to steal Gabriel and shut the whole thing down!  I thought it was too powerful, that it’s all about control and money and you and your ideas are just propaganda, but you’re not! You’re real, and you can’t do this! You can’t trust me this much!”

            Chuck laughed.  “Dean, do you think that I didn’t already know you’re a Hunter?  I was keeping tabs on you and your activities in Purgatory, son!”

            That shocked us both.  “Gabe didn’t know anything about it!” I exclaimed.

            “And who, exactly, do you think taught the Trickster everything he knows about intelligence?  Gabe is the best in the world at monitoring electronic communications, but your old man still has some old-school tricks up his sleeve!”  Dad was still smiling as he looked at Dean.  “I will admit I was stunned when you showed up in the cabin with Cas.  If anyone could have found a way to travel through time, though, he’s the one!  And he trusted you, Dean, to travel with him. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough.”  He took one hand off of Dean’s head and reached back over to me, drawing me closer. Then he pressed all three of our foreheads together.  “I’m trusting you boys to take care of my Angels.  I know you’re up to the task.”

            “I won’t let you down!”

            “I’ll protect them!”

            “I know, boys, I know.”  He pulled our heads down a bit more, pressed a kiss to the tops, and then let us go.

            Dean and I stood awkwardly, looking at each other.  Both of us were all too aware of the responsibility that had just been put on our shoulders.  “Does Naomi know?” I asked.

            “I told her about it on the way back to the cabin.  And she’s already informed me that she fully intends to take legal action to break your guardianship, especially of Samandriel.  She looked me right in the eye and said she’ll see you rot in hell before you gain control of her son, Sammy.  But Alfie already signed a paper revoking both of our parental rights over him in favor of you, and this morning he signed the amendment adding Dean. I told her late last night.”

            “That’s why she came storming into Cas’s section and took him this morning,” Dean groaned.

            “And why she yelled at the both of us that we’re not his parents and she was,” I realized.  I shook my head in disgust.  “I’ve never seen her so angry at me before.  If looks could kill, we would have both dropped dead right on the spot!”

            Dean stirred at this.

            The old man’s face hardened.  “If anything happens to him, I have no doubt she’ll fight tooth and nail.  Don’t let her win.  I love my wife, boys, but she cannot be objective about our sons. She’ll favor Alfie and neglect the other five and they cannot work that way!  The only way that Heaven’s Angels can be truly impartial and have any chance of bringing lasting peace to the world is if the Angels themselves are impartial.”  He glanced at Dean, and then at me.  “Sammy, is Dean aware of the other complication?”

            “I know he’s married to Gabe,” Dean admitted.  “And I’m engaged to Cas.”

            Dad’s face lit up.  He embraced Dean, laughing and planting a kiss on my startled brother’s cheek. “Welcome, Dean!  Welcome to the family!  I knew you’d be part of it one way or another, but I never suspected it would happen like this!  Now I’m sure I made the right decision.  Here!”

            I saw dad pull something out of his coat pocket and got a lump in my throat. It was a glass, identical to my own that I’d used at the cabin to toast with the family, but with Dean’s name on it. How in the hell had the old bastard had time to get it made?  I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

            But Dean recognized what it meant.  He accepted the glass, looking awestruck.  “Th-thank you,” he managed.

            “Let’s see how grateful you are when you really have to start dealing with Naomi on your own,” dad sighed.  “Unless and until your legal guardianships kick in due to one or more of my Angels becoming incapable of making decisions for himself, you’re still just bodyguards. That means Naomi outranks you. She’ll milk that for all it’s worth to try to separate the two of you from the boys.  But she’s still an employee, just like the two of you, and the Angels absolutely out-rank her!  They’ll need reminded of that.”

            “Mike gets it eventually,” Dean assured.  “But sir, I have to ask you.  This place you’re going, this country in the middle of a civil war? Where is it?”

            He smiled, a mischievous light in his eyes that made them look still youthful despite the wrinkled face they were in.  “I never said it was a country.  And it’s best, in the interest of continued impartiality, that you don’t know.”

            “Then let me tell you something else you may not know,” Dean said.  “In a month, in my timeline, Sammy’s dead.  And you said you had Samandriel sign paperwork revoking the parental rights of you and Naomi before that trip to the cabin, which means you did it in my time, too.  Between that and Sammy’s marriage to Gabe giving him an equal share of the company, well, Naomi’s got plenty of reason to see Sammy go on a suicide mission is all I’ll say.”

            “And now she’s got the same two reasons for you, as well, Dean,” dad pointed out just as I was about to.  “I cannot imagine my wife going so far as to arrange such a thing, but I know how she is with Samandriel.  She’s never loved anything, or anyone, more than she loves that boy.  And he just threatened to cut ties with her this morning if she doesn’t leave him alone!  That crushed her, boys.  If she’s desperate enough, I don’t know what she’s capable of.  I won’t rule out anything, so watch yourselves.”

            “Yes, sir, but there’s more.”  Dean licked his lips.  “The Hunters aren’t the only enemies of Heaven’s Angels.  Not long after Sammy died, a group called the Men of Letters tried to set up a jerry-rigged network and kidnapped Cas to force him to run it. That’s what The Incident was, where Samandriel died and Cas got hurt.  After that, everything changed.  And shortly before Cas and I went back in time, another group tried to kidnap Castiel, presumably for the same reason.  They were from a country called Huis, rebels against the government there. Mr. Shurley...”

            “Chuck,” dad insisted.  “If you’re not ready to call me dad, then at least call me Chuck.”

            Dean gave a slight smile.  “Chuck, those rebels somehow beat Lucifer’s security team and actually got their hands on Cas.  I was able to fight ‘em off, but I don’t think anyone expected that.  Either way, the result was the same – Angeli Quinque, the new company Heaven’s Angels became, went to war against the Huis rebels on the side of the government.  And Lucifer wiped the rebels completely out down to the last man to retaliate for what they’d done to Cas.  Now, I know you can’t tell me where you’ll be or who you’re helping,” Dean said carefully, “but when Cas was telling you all this story back at the cabin, he said something I hadn’t heard before.  He said that one of his kidnappers said they were desperate to save their families. And what you said, about what was in that letter?”  He paused. “Chuck, if that’s where you’re going, then it’s another piece of the puzzle of why this all happened.  Because with Sammy dead, guardianship would have reverted to you and her.  And if you were also out of the picture for good, maybe because your own son unknowingly wiped you out along with every other rebel he believed was responsible for attacking his brother?  Then she would be the sole guardian.”

            “But Dean, guardianship doesn’t mean anything unless one of them becomes incompetent,” I pointed out.

            “Yeah, and Samandriel was already gone in my time,” Dean admitted.  “Plus, I honestly believe she was terrified when those men came into that restaurant and grabbed Cas.”

            “She favors Alfie, but she won’t give up any of the Angels without a fight,” Chuck agreed.

            “There’s still more to this than what we’re seeing,” Dean agreed.  “But Chuck?  Be careful.  Because wherever you’re going, you’re going in blind, and in real danger of being on the wrong side of Lucifer’s wrath!”

            I saw dad’s jaw work as he nodded.  “I’ll keep that in mind.  But it’s honestly one more reason that I cannot delay this trip any longer.  I need to get out there, do what I can to try to keep that future from happening.”  He paused, looking at Dean.  “Dean, having some foresight into future events is a good thing, but don’t let it blind you to the present.  Remember, from the instant you arrived in this timeline, you’d already changed it. What is to come will not be the same as what already happened to you.  Keep your eyes, and your mind, opened.”

            “Yes, sir.”

            I was chewing on my lip, trying to bite back the words I wanted to say.  But I couldn’t hold them back any longer. “Don’t go!” I cried.  “It’s too dangerous, and we need you!”

            “No, you don’t, Sammy.”  Dad’s voice was gentle as he smiled at me.  “You don’t need me, and neither do your brothers.  Because they’ve got you, and you’ve got them.  You all have each other.  It’s all you really need to go on from here.”

****

            I stopped downstairs in one of the stores, heading up to Research and Development with a six-pack of cold beer.  I put them in the fridge, took two of them, and handed one to Dean.  My brother was sitting at the table with his head in his hands, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I knew exactly how he felt.

            “Dean?” I began.  “I can’t do this without you.”

            He reached across the table for my hand.  “I’m here, Sammy.”

            “I know.”  I glanced towards Castiel’s room, where I knew the Angels had gathered.  “Alfie and Castiel, they call their brothers by their full names.  It’s just what they do.  But they always call me ‘Sammy.’  Do you know why?”  When he shook his head, I continued.  “Because it’s what you always called me.  When they decided to unofficially adopt me, they started calling me that because it’s my ‘brother’ name.  But Dean, I think, before they even met you, they were ready to adopt you.”

            “I gotta admit, it bothered me at first, that you called them brothers,” Dean said quietly.  “But you didn’t replace me.  You just expanded the family.  I get it now, Sammy.  And by God, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect all of you.”

            I smiled.  Then I glanced again towards Cas’s room.  “No one is going to be able to wake him up but Alfie!  It’s too bad they couldn’t just use that...”

            Dean straightened, looking hard at me.  “What’s wrong, Sammy?”

            “That new diagnostic jack,” I realized.  “If Naomi really does create one that can do what Samandriel can do, is there really any reason she couldn’t use it to alter or even incapacitate any Angel that stands in her way, especially if it means she’ll have legal guardianship over them?  She could make them all like Cas, or even worse!”

            He looked at me, his eyes fierce.  “Sammy, we need to change this shit, prevent it all from happening!  Now dammit, you got sent on that mission that killed you because you were poking around, and someone, Naomi or someone else, fucked up Gabe to the point where he agreed to send you out.  And you started poking around after I left.  So what was on your mind?”

            “Adam Bartholomew.  Gabe!” I called.  “Can you come out here a moment?”

            Gabriel quickly jogged out to join us and nodded when I asked if he’d found anything.  “Adam Bartholomew was familiar because of his family,” he explained.  “His family had money and were among the original investors in Chuck’s first company, Heaven, Incorporated, which eventually became Heaven’s Angels.  Bartholomew’s parents died when he was a teen, leaving him the sole heir at a young age. He made a lot of bad investments and decisions, lost all the money, and couldn’t buy out his draft when his name came up. That’s how he ended up in the military. The reason he’s familiar is because he filed suit against the company for his family, wanting a controlling interest in Heaven’s Angels based on his family’s initial investment.  But he lost because he’d signed off on liquidating his family’s stock right before the company really blew up.  He’d made some minor threats against us in a nasty letter, nothing substantial.  But the fact he made threats is what put him on your radar, Samoose, because you went and talked to him.”

            I snapped my fingers.  “That’s right!  I went to his apartment and talked to him, but he was this friendly, charming guy who was embarrassed as hell that he’d gotten tanked and sent a crazy letter.  I left there feeling that he was no threat, and he actually asked me for some pointers on getting a job with the company. He understood he had to wait at least fifteen months after making those threats per company policy, but I honestly expect to be seeing his name showing up on the rosters somewhere about next Christmas.”

            Dean immediately bristled.  “You do. Believe me, you do!  But I don’t get it.  What’s the problem then?”

            “You tell me,” Gabe said with a shrug.  “I’ll keep digging.  I was able to find a bit of activity on his accounts, money going to a new lawyer. Seems like he might be gearing up for a new lawsuit for some reason, but against who and for what is anyone’s guess at this point.”

            “Yeah, keep looking, angel,” I sighed.  I pulled him down for a kiss.  “Thank you.”

            “Anything for you!”

            “Hey, something I wanted to ask you, Gabe,” Dean called.  “If it’s too personal or private, I get it, and you obviously don’t have to answer, but I’ll ask anyway.  Sammy gave you some fancy gold and amber comb?”

            I could feel my cheeks flame even as my angel grinned.  “Right here!” he called, producing the comb with a flourish. “Here, Dean, give it a go!”

            Dean accepted the comb, confused.  “You think my hair needs combed?”

            “No, dumbass, it’s not actually a comb!  It’s a data chip!  Here, you’re a gold pin veteran, so you can read it.  Hold your fingers right on the rim there, above the teeth, on the side that doesn’t have the amber.  There’s a thin gold plating, but you should be able to read it.”

            “Dammit, Gabriel!” I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

            Sure enough, my brother was laughing as he traced those damned special ops sensors in his fingertips over the portion of the comb that hid the data chip. “Aww, Sammy, you sap!  You actually recorded yourself saying your wedding vows?!  That’s adorable!”

            “Shut up, Dean!” I snapped, snatching the comb away from him and giving it back to Gabe.  I gave Gabe a dirty look.  Gabe made kissy faces at me.

            “Alright, but that really begs the question then,” Dean said.  “Gabe, why the hell would you give something like that up?”

            All of the humor went out of my angel’s face.  “I wouldn’t!”

            “You did!”  Dean jerked a thumb toward Cas’s room.  “He has that same comb in the pocket of his trench coat.  He said you gave it to him after Sammy’s funeral!  You didn’t even seem to care when it got lost in the pocket of his trench coat.”

            Gabe’s face darkened in anger.  He stormed back to Cas’s room and came out clutching Cas’s comb to his chest.  “I’m taking it,” he announced.  “I’m sorry, Dean, and nothing against Castiel.  But there’s no fucking way that I would ever give up this comb, especially not right after I lost Sammy!  And if I couldn’t remember that in your timeline, then that other me didn’t deserve to have it!”

            “Gabe!”  I jumped up, went to my angel.

            But Gabe held up his hand, warding me back.  “I’m sorry.  I need some fresh air.  Let me go up on the roof, clear my head.  Then I’ll come back down to Cassie, alright?  But I’m keeping this comb.”

            I raised my hands.  “No objections.  Dean?”

            “Hey, it’s technically yours in the first place,” Dean agreed.

            Gabe nodded and stormed off towards the roof.  I returned to my brother and my beer, both of us returning to our silent, troubled thoughts.


	39. Chapter Ten - Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Naomi strikes back, Samandriel tries to help his brothers deal with the emotional fall-out

**Samandriel**

            I’m the first person to admit that I’m not nearly the judge of character Lucifer is, especially when it comes to people I care about.  I’d believed that once I told my mother I wasn’t changing my mind about the guardianship, she’d back off.  And she had.  I’d learned that she’d been to all of my brothers, even telling Castiel and Gabriel right in front of Dean and Sammy that they were making a huge mistake in putting their trust in the Winchesters.  And when every Angel had uniformly refused to revoke the guardianships, she’d stopped trying to get us to change her mind.  She’d just gone after the Winchesters directly instead.

            Mom’s lawyers were picking their lives apart, desperately searching for anything at all they could use to try to claim they weren’t fit to be guardians. Fortunately, dad had anticipated and planned for this.  He had lawyers already briefed and on retainer, ready to do battle.  Michael and Gabriel were with them, wireless jacks and portable network access at hand, ready, willing, and eager to fight for the terms we’d all agreed to.  They’d remained up front with the lawyers and the two brothers. 

            Our biggest worry had been exactly how we’d explain what happened to Castiel. But mom’s lawyers hadn’t wanted to go anywhere near the time travel factor.  They’d passed off Castiel’s condition as an “unfortunate accident,” and acknowledged that Dean had been taking adequate care of him.  Then they’d turned right around and claimed Dean was only doing it to ingratiate himself to Castiel and the rest of us for financial gain. His time in Purgatory had been another worrisome item we’d discussed.  Mom’s lawyers pounced on it, and held it up as proof Dean couldn’t be trusted.  Our lawyers countered by asking for proof Dean had done anything nefarious while in Purgatory.  When, for obvious reasons, they could produce none, that line of questioning was dropped.

            I was anxiously watching the faces of the Winchester brothers, wondering how they’d react to all this.  Sammy looked irritated, but calm.  Dean’s face was a thundercloud, looking like it would erupt into a tornado at any moment. Not good.

            The six of us were taking the stand, taking turns repeating how wonderful the two of them were.  Raphael was up there now.  The fact we were all sticking up for them had probably been the biggest factor in keeping Dean from exploding.  But the problem was that no one was disputing how well the brothers cared for us.  Over and over again, mom’s lawyers focused back to the same thing.

            “They’re poor!” I exclaimed to Castiel.  “That’s the big claim, that Sammy and Dean want our guardianships for the money!  We already said they didn’t even know about it until the papers were already signed!”

            “Why is she doing this?” Castiel asked.  “She’s fighting for all six of us, but the two she’s fighting for the most are you and me!  I understand her wanting you, but she’s never really wanted me.”

            “That isn’t true!” I countered.  “Yes, she’s always favored me, which is something I will likely never forgive her for. But she cares about all six of us.”

            “No,” he said.  “She never wanted me.  And after The Incident, she hated me.  It’s alright, Samandriel.  I’ve had time to come to terms with it.”

            “Castiel, it didn’t happen, alright?” I said patiently.  “And we’re all going to work to make sure it doesn’t! But listen to me, brother.  You said you’ve come to terms with things, and maybe you have.  I know she played favorites and she was neglectful.  But you suffered the least from it because you had Raphael, just as I did. Raphael was too busy being a parent himself to suffer too much, and Gabriel coped in his own highly-questionable fashion.  But Lucifer and Michael were so desperate for her attention that Lucifer acted out and Michael tried to be absolutely perfect!  They’re going to have the toughest time with this today, alright? And the last thing they need, when she’s fighting hardest for the two of us, is to hear you talking about her hating you!”

            He squinted at me.  “I don’t understand.”

            “Lucifer and Michael would have given anything when they were kids to have her love,” I explained.  “Now Michael is in there, sitting behind a table to represent the six of us in our efforts to revoke her parental rights to us.  After all this time, he’s finally being offered some semblance of her love, and he’s sitting in there fighting to reject it!  Can you imagine how he must feel?  The amount of courage it must be taking him to stay in there and do this is staggering!”

            I saw understanding dawn in my brother’s eyes.  He straightened, frowning towards the courtroom.  “Should we go back in there, support him?”

            “We’ll go back,” I assured him.  “But right now, Michael’s focused on fighting.  The one I’m worried about is Lucifer.  Once again, he’s getting that he’s among the least loved of the six of us. Is it any wonder he keeps roaming around the courthouse?”  I sighed. “Come on, let’s look for him.”

            Castiel immediately started following me.  He was doing much better now at keeping his focus, but I still reached back and caught his wrist to keep us from being separated.  Castiel, I was pleased to see, never flinched, even when the crowd surged towards us.  I’d been steadily working to reduce my brother’s fear and restore his self-confidence and was finally seeing some progress.  Castiel was reasonably cautious, but the crippling fear he’d had of being stolen was manageable.  He still wandered, but wasn’t nearly as oblivious to his surroundings as he’d been. He was even starting to take an interest again in his personal appearance, choosing clothes for himself that usually matched and were much closer to the neat, fastidious brother I remembered.  His hair, though, was still neglected.  It was clean and combed when we’d left Heaven, but his new habit of combing his fingers through it had quickly tended to that.

            The foyer was full of people.  Since the announcement and dad’s subsequent disappearance, we Angels were hot topics. Somehow, the news we were having a court appearance was leaked.  Now cameras flashed and questions were shouted as Castiel and I came in sight. I squinted, looking for Lucifer.

            “Are you looking for the other one?” one of the courthouse guards asked.  He jerked a thumb towards the left.  “Said he needed some air.  Side entrance, leads out to an alleyway.”

            “Thank you!”  I gave him a smile and pulled Castiel along after me, heading towards the side entrance.

            Fortunately, the alleyway next to the courthouse had been cordoned off, with only a small group of courthouse guards apparently having a smoke break when we came out.  We walked up to the closest guard.  “Excuse me, but have you seen Angel Lucifer?”

            He smiled and pointed down the alley.  “Went around the corner just a minute ago.  Looked upset.”

            “Thank you.”  We headed down the alley, moving quickly.  I was very worried about Lucifer now.  It wasn’t like him to be so far away from us while we were out in public like this.  He must be very upset!  I tightened my grip on Castiel’s wrist and moved a bit faster.

            We hurried around the corner, where I stopped, blinking in confusion at the waiting vehicles and men.

            Then Castiel was pushing me back, screaming for me to run, screaming for the guards, shoving me back and putting himself, in full Angel armor, between me and the strange men.  I brought up my armor more on instinct than anything else, my Angel blade tearing through the sleeve of my dress shirt and jacket.  Castiel had gone insane, hitting, kicking, and, to my complete shock, _biting_ the strange man who had taken hold of him even as he continued to push me back.  It took a moment for my brain to catch up.  I’d known that on at least three different occasions, people had tried to steal Gabriel, necessitating his taking Sammy or another bodyguard any time he went out.  And I knew, intellectually, that security had blocked attempts to steal other Angels as well.  I’d even learned of an attempt by a crazed fan of mine to obtain me!  But never before had anything actually reached me. Now I didn’t know how to react.  I was frozen in shock, stumbling back as Castiel shoved me and kept fighting.

            When the courthouse guards took hold of me, I was relieved.  I actually leaned into them, not resisting at all when they picked me up, held my arm with my Angel blade and started carrying me forward, towards the men Castiel was still fighting with.  It didn’t even occur to me that this was wrong until Castiel came charging into the man carrying me, turning his head so his plate impacted solidly with the guard’s head.  Then he grabbed my arm and stabbed my blade into the other guard.  And the whole time he was screaming.  “Fight them!  Fight them! Don’t let them take you, he’s coming! Dean!  Help us!”

            Chaos, my brothers screaming over Angel Radio, frantically trying to find us. I was still too shocked to tell them where we were.  Castiel fought like a tiger, slashing at our attackers with my Angel blade and forcing them back.  “You won’t take Samandriel!” he was yelling.  “I’ll fucking kill you if you touch him!  Get away!”

            It was a stand-off, but it couldn’t last.  Castiel slashed at one and another grabbed his arm.  My brother once again put his titanium plate to use, just grazed the man’s cheek as he hastily pulled away, and then stomped hard on the man’s foot. I could hear toes break even as the man howled.  But there were just too many.  They’d realized Castiel didn’t have a blade of his own and were on him, dragging him away from me.  Someone caught my arm, picked me up again.

            In a panic situation, people usually choose one of three options – fight, flight, or freeze.  I’d frozen for sure.  But when the men seized me, carrying me forward even as they pulled Castiel away from me, I snapped out of my frozen state and started trying to fight.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I had my blade, but even though Lucifer had wanted us all to get some training, it had never happened.  We’d been assured that security would be able to prevent any problems. Now I had no idea how to fight and was flailing ineffectively.  They were forcing us into the cars, taking us away.  I screamed and kicked desperately.

            _“Get the hell away from my brothers!”_

            I’d never seen Lucifer in full battle rage before.  He was racing towards us with the Winchesters, all three in combat mode and looking absolutely furious.  Lucifer’s combat optics were blazing blood red.

            My brother was unstoppable.  He stabbed his Angel blade through the first man he reached, not even pausing as he raised his arm and threw the body over his shoulder.  Then he grabbed two more and brought them sharply together.  There was a sickening crunch.  He shoved past them as they fell, grabbing the next enemy, crossing his arms before the man to seize his left shoulder and right hip. He jerked hard, twisting the man’s body sharply.  And the Winchesters were right there with him, fists flying as they battled their way towards us.  Except for Lucifer’s Angel blade, he and the Winchesters had been unarmed for their day in court.  But the three of them weren’t even hesitating, diving on our attackers even before the armed security forces arrived and opened fire.

            Blood.  Shrieks of pain.  Broken bones and falling bodies all around.  I could feel myself shutting down, watching as though from a distance as Lucifer and the Winchesters were joined by the security team, making short work of the remaining attackers.  But Castiel had hold of me again, my furious, amazing brother holding my head down protectively against his chest even as he flailed with a fist against a man struggling with Dean.  I clung to Castiel until he shoved me at another familiar golden figure.  Raphael, out in the middle of all this fighting, just as crazy as Castiel and Lucifer and fighting just as hard even as he held me to his side.  But Michael was here too, and so was Gabriel, both standing protectively over us, attacking anyone who came near.  They were all here, all of my brothers, Angel and otherwise, together as one.  And in some small portion of my mind, I dimly realized that I was the only one who wasn’t fighting.

****

            My job was Emotional Stability.  It was engraved on my plate for the whole world to see.  And yet, I was the only one who seemed to be emotionally unstable. I couldn’t stop shaking as I clung to Raphael.  My brother hadn’t let go of me since he’d arrived at the scene and didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so now.  Lucifer sat on my other side, his arm around me.  We were all here, all six Angels and the Winchesters, crowded together in the big transport, heading back to the Heaven building.  I felt safe, protected.  And I still couldn’t stop shaking.

            “It was a resistance group called the Demons,” Lucifer informed us. “They’re real pains in my ass on a good day, but usually they stick to blowing up buildings and knocking down com towers.  This is the first time I’m aware of that they tried to grab an Angel!”

            “From what I could find, it was spur-of-the-moment,” Gabriel reported. His indicators filled half of his amber eyes as he worked on his portable network access.  “We kept the details of this case out of the press, but obviously the fact that we were here got leaked.  They took advantage of an opportunity to get close to us and then just watched for their chance.  We’re lucky. If they’d been more organized, they might have actually gotten away with Cas and Alfie!  Good thing the Demons learned to fear Lucifer today!”

            “I see what you did there,” Lucifer groaned.

            “I don’t remember hearing anything about this happening in my timeline,” Dean was saying.  “Cas?”

            “No,” Castiel agreed.  “We went to the courthouse and helped Sammy fight for his guardianship, but no one attacked us.  Of course, we didn’t go looking for Lucifer, either.  I remember him being upset, but he just paced around outside the courtroom. He never left.”

            “I was directing a sweep of the building with my team.  We’d found a bunch of guards tied up in one of the records rooms downstairs,” Lucifer reported.  “Ironically, I was tightening up security when Cassie started screaming over Angel Radio.”  He grinned at Castiel.  “Our hero!”

            Cheers erupted from my brothers as Castiel gave a shy smile.  “I only did what Dean told me to do!”

            “You did perfectly, angel.”  Dean had his arm around Castiel.  Now he pressed a kiss to his plate.

            “Awwww!” rang out all around.  Dean smiled and gave everyone the finger.

            “You really were amazing, Castiel,” I said quietly.  “You saved me today.  They grabbed me, and I just froze up!  If you hadn’t been there, they would have taken me, and I wouldn’t have even fought or called for help until it was too late!”  In fact, the only one I’d really fought against was my mother. She’d tried to pull me away from Raphael, wanting me to ride with her so she could be sure I was “safe.”  I’d dug in my heels, Raphael had held tight, Castiel and Gabriel had yelled at her.  Then both Michael and Lucifer had stepped up, finally using their rank to back her off. It was, I was sure, a huge turning point for them both, the first time they’d stood against mom when she’d really insisted on something.  I was proud of them.  I was proud of them all.  And I was ashamed of my own weakness.

            I fingered the bloody tear in my sleeve.  “Castiel?” I called.  “You did more to protect us both with my Angel blade than I did.  And I think you should have it.  When we get back, I want to give you my blade.”

            “No!”  Castiel grabbed hold of me, shook me fiercely.  “No, Samandriel, I can never have an Angel blade!  Not ever!  That’s how I killed you, when I was in overload!”

            “That doesn’t make sense!  I’ve brought you out of overload how many times, and never, not once, have you ever made any attempt to stab me!  The basis of our psychosis doesn’t change, alright?  If you’re stabbing now when you’re in overload, it’s because something was altered!”

            “He was in overload for hours, Alfie,” Dean said quietly.  “Think that might have done it?”

            “No. That would have done damage to his computer for sure, maybe even his physical brain.  But I don’t believe it would do this.”  I snapped my fingers.  “I pulled a new file out of him, another of my memories from before. Gabe, remind me to get it to you when we get back.”

            “Sure,” Gabe agreed.  “Oh, speaking of files, I was able to dig a bit more, find out what Bartholomew was up to with those lawyers.  Turns out, he was digging into the Chimera contracts!  Now isn’t that interesting?”

            “Yes, it is,” Sammy agreed, frowning. “Especially considering the questions we’ve got about those files.”

            “He’s Chimera, too,” Dean reminded.  “Much as I hate that bastard, it could be something innoculous.  But if this is where you were looking last time, then it’s definitely worth persuing again.  Cas, was Sammy asking about Chimera?”

            “Yes,” Castiel confirmed.  “I remember him coming to me, asking why I’d agreed to it.  And I told him what I’d told you, that it seemed like a good idea, like something that could save lives.  I didn’t have much concept of free will, not until I met you.”

            “Still on the right track,” Dean insisted.  “Keep looking, Gabe.”

            “I will.  So far, there’s only one other thing that’s interesting.  They were actually filing motions for the records of two contracts. One had Chimera, and the other was some sort of private deal involving one hell of a lot of money between some government official high up the ladder in the US military and someone here at the company.  Someone paid big to make sure Chimera became a reality for the US military!”

            “What?!” Raphael exclaimed.  “That makes no sense at all!  Any sort of deal like that would have had to come through me!  I’ll do some digging.”

            Sammy was looking at Dean.  “Do you think maybe Bartholomew was trying to expose whoever this was at the company?”

            “Maybe,” he mused.  “They say follow the money, right?  Raph, who would stand to profit the most from Chimera?”

            “Us,” Raphael responded immediately.  “Once we Angels took over, the profits from that and every other deal would have come to us.  And that contract was pretty damned pricy, way more than our usual for a construction contract.  It’s why I still don’t understand why I didn’t take a closer look at it, saw the Chimera plans wedged in between the bridge work and the road repairs!”

            “Find out who this person was inside the company, Gabe,” Michael ordered.  “I want answers!”

            We all wanted answers.  Unfortunately, right now, no one had any to give him.


	40. Chapter Eleven - Conspiracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the day Sam died grows nearer, discussions center on how to save him. Gabe finds something interesting in Castiel's memories.

**Sam**

            “You have to admit this looks much better on me!”

            “No, I don’t.”

            “Come on, Cassie!”  Gabe held up his new wristband, admiring how it looked on his arm.  “We all look fabulous, but this looks smokin’ hot on me! Don’t you think so, Samoose?”

            “No comment,” I called with a smile.  My own wristband was still an unfamiliar, yet welcome weight on my wrist. The knowledge that I could use it to track any of my brothers would certainly help me sleep better.

            Dean chuckled as he walked next to me, both of us following closely after our Angels as they walked.  Going out for a stroll with Dean and Cas had been a great idea.  Along with the exercise and fresh air, just spending time with them felt great.

            “It’s too bad that we can’t use ours to travel through time,” Gabe was saying. “I would so love to see what dad was like as a teenager!”

            I shuddered.  “No way, Gabe!  Have you honestly thought about the implications of that, that they traveled through time and interacted directly in the past to influence the future?  If dad’s cybernetics really are based off of Dean’s arm that Cas crafted a year from now, that smacks of predestination. And I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that I’m not responsible for my own actions, that everything I do was preordained before I was born.  Dean may have helped Dr. Tran along, but the guy was a genius, well ahead of his time even before he got his hands on Dean!  I have no doubt that he would have invented the Tran cybernetics on his own.”

            “We’ll never know,” Dean agreed, “but I agree with you on the predestination thing.  Things are already different here in this timeline.  There’s no reason to believe the trend won’t continue.  And that’s what I’m holding on to.”

            I felt him looking at me, felt the mood among us change.  I avoided meeting Dean’s eyes, keeping alert for any threat to the Angels, but I knew what he was thinking.  If things kept going as they’d gone in Dean’s time, my death was fast approaching.  It wasn’t something I liked thinking about, but I couldn’t deny the danger I was in. It was obviously much on Dean’s mind and, I suspected, Luc’s.  I hadn’t missed the way he casually asked if he could use the new wristbands to track any one of us, and how both he and Dean had smiled when Cas explained they could.

            “Alright, let’s talk about it,” I said at last.  “In the old timeline, I’ve got, what, a few weeks to live?  Where was I sent?”

            “You know how groups like the Demons have been making a lot more threats lately, since the announcement?" Dean said.  "It was one of those groups, the Stynes.  Luc’s people believed it to be a legitimate threat, so you were assigned to lead a team and investigate.”

            “The Stynes are a paramilitary group,” Gabe called.

            “And they were waiting for you.  As soon as you approached their location, they opened fire.  Your guys won, but it was a heavy firefight, lots of casualties. You were one of them.”

            I chewed my lip, considering this.  “If it was the Stynes, that’s why I’d take the mission.  They’re bad news.  In your time, they were waiting to ambush us, which meant they knew we were coming.  If I suspected that, my job would have been to go in first, draw the brunt of the attack away from my men.  So yeah. I can see how it happened.”

            “But why send you?” Dean asked.  “All I could get was that it was some sort of test, that you’d been put on probation and were close to losing your job over some bullshit or another.”

            “Punishment detail,” I mused.  “I must have pissed someone off.  The thing I can’t see is how to keep it from happening again.  Because if they become a threat.  I won’t let them hurt my Angels!”

            “Yeah, well, this time you won’t go in alone,” Dean growled.

            “Neither one of you can go!” Cas insisted.  “The point is to keep Sammy from dying, not kill you both!”

            “It’s his job, Cassie,” Gabe said quietly.  He’d shoved his hands into his pockets, obviously to keep from reaching back for my hand in public.  “Sammy and Dean are going to go into that ambush because that’s their job.  We just need to find a way to keep them alive through it!”

            “The other issue is that it might not even be the Stynes this time,” Dean pointed out.  “The Demons didn’t attack in my time.  And that makes this harder.  We don’t know who we might be facing, where the ambush might be, or if there’s even an ambush!  But you guys remember the rule Chuck made at the cabin, about letting Sammy do his job? It applies to us both, alright?”

            “Dean’s right,” I agreed.  “You cannot put us under a glass dome and keep us hidden because, at the end of the day, we’ve got a job to do.  We’ll do it, even if it kills us.”

            “I can’t save you,” Cas whispered.  “Project Samandriel won’t work again!  If you die...?”

            Dean reached out and squeezed his shoulder.  “This is how life is, angel.  You’ve got to let us live it.”

            I saw both Angels slump and cleared my throat.  “The thing is, we don’t even know anything bad’s going to happen, right? So, instead of being upset and worrying about something we can’t control, how about we focus on what we can control?  Namely, wedding plans?”

            The mood immediately brightened.  “You’re standing with me, right Sammy?” Dean asked.

            “You’d have to chain me down to keep me away, Dean!” I announced.  “I know how much I wished you’d been there when dad married me and Gabe!”

            Cas nearly tripped.  “Dad married the two of you?”

            “Who else?”  Seeing that we were getting near the perimeter, I quickened my pace, moving up beside Gabe and crowding him to move him over.  He smiled, crowded Cas, and we all turned, moving down a different street.

            “Why don’t the two of you get married again, with us?” Cas offered. “It would mean a lot to our brothers, if they could witness that!”

            I had to take some deep breaths to keep calm.  Gabe had no such hesitation.  He pounced on Cas, nearly bowling the other Angel over.  “Yes!  I would love that!  We could invite everyone except Naomi!”

            “She’d want to be there,” Cas said.

            “Maybe not, since it’s not Samandriel getting married,” Gabe grumbled. “He’s the only one she really cares about anyway.”

            “Not true!” Dean called.  “She just loved Bartholomew!  It was weird, too, come to think of it.  It was almost like how she was acting in the cabin with Samandriel.  But seriously, guys, Naomi’s technically your mom. Yeah, she’s been difficult lately, but she’s still your mom.”

            That settled everyone.  Gabe let Cas go with a shy smile.  Then he reached into his pocket and produced a familiar comb.  “Here,” he said, handing it to Dean.  “This one’s the one from your time.  Since I’ve already got mine, why don’t you take this one?  Maybe you can record something of your own?”

            Dean smiled, accepting the comb.  He brushed his fingers over the hidden data chip and chuckled.  “You really are a sap, Sammy!” he called.  “I don’t know if I can do something that corny.”

            “Says the guy who was singing!” I exclaimed, my cheeks flaming.

            “Whatever, dude.  I’m romantic. This is just sap!  It’s...”

            When my brother stopped walking, it took me a moment to realize it.  Then I caught the Angels, looking back to where Dean stood, seemingly frozen in place.  His face had gone white, his green eyes wide and his mouth open in an O of surprise.  I frowned. “Dean?  What is it?”

            He blinked.  He closed his mouth, his jaw working.  “Nothing,” he grunted as he shoved the comb into his pocket.  “Come on, let’s finish up and get back.  I need to talk to Raph.”

            “Raph?”  I glanced at my Angels, saw they looked as confused as I felt.  “Dean, what’s going on?”

            “Nothing, alright?  I just need some information, is all.  Gabe, thanks for the comb, buddy, I really do appreciate it.  Means a lot to me.”

            Gabe smiled, but it morphed into a frown.  “That’s another thing I don’t get.  Cassie, you said that comb was in your trench coat?  Did I know you’d lost it?”

            “Yes, but we knew it had to be somewhere in my section, so you weren’t angry. You actually never asked about it.”

            He shook his head.  “So weird!”

            “We’re all different in our time, without Samandriel.”  Cas’s eyes were constantly flickering back to Dean.  Dean had lapsed into a moody silence, his hands in his pockets, seeming lost in his thoughts as we headed back to Heaven.

            “Yeah.”

            I glanced at Gabe, not liking the flat tone to my angel’s voice.  “What is it?”

            “Just a memory file Alfie gave me that he found in Cas’s head.  The last one, apparently.  How he died.”

            That got Dean’s attention.  “And? How did he die?”

            “We know how he died, Dean!” Cas snapped.  “I killed him!”

            “It was awful.”  Gabe’s voice was quiet.  “Alfie keeps asking about it, but I don’t want to show him.  And I don’t understand it!  It’s just like it was at the cabin, Samoose, how Cas was in overload and he just lashed out?  He’s never done that before!  Yeah, he was in awful shape in that memory, but why, why would he do that?  Aw, come on, Cassie!  It wasn’t your fault.”

            “That’s what he said, but it was!  I killed him!”

            “You’re sure that’s what happened?” Dean urged, looking intently at Gabe. “You’re sure it was really him?”

            Gabe nodded.  “I’ll show you if you want, Dean, but I never want to see it again, ok?  I still need to decide what I’m going to do about Alfie.”

            “Give it to him, tell him what’s on it, and let him decide,” I told him. “I’ll come with you.”

            “I’ll come, too,” Cas insisted.  “I want to be there, to let him say whatever he wants to say to me.  Dean?"

            “Hmm?”  Dean was still distracted.  “I’ll come if you want, but I need to talk to Raph.  Think you can just go with Sammy?”

            That surprised all of us.  “I can take you, Cas,” I offered.  “If it’s really that important, Dean?”

            “It is.  We’re here, so Cas, will you go with Sammy and find Alfie?  I really need to find Raph.”

            Cas looked at him in confusion.  “A-alright, Dean.”

            “Awesome.”

            We got off the elevator at the Defense section, leaving Dean to go to Finance alone.  Alfie was in with Luc, the two deep in quiet conversation when we arrived.  Luc stayed while Gabe handed over the data chip and explained what was on it.  Then my angel excused himself while we played the data over the holo.

            It was just as awful as Gabe described.  The image was full of static, but we could see Cas through Alfie’s eyes, struggling and crying, still in overload even though, by the readings that scrolled through Alfie’s vision, he’d already been working remotely to bring him out. Cas’s voice was hoarse from screaming as he fought against his restraints.  “It’s alright, Castiel!” Alfie was soothing on the holo.  “I’m sorry you were alone for so long, but we’ve been fighting to reach you.  We’re here, and you’re safe now.”

            “Let me go!” Cas rasped.  “Please!”

            “Of course!”  Alfie hurried to free the distressed Angel, even as more static caused the image to waver.

            “It’s my jack,” Alfie explained quietly.  “Castiel was in overload, so I was jacking into him.  This memory has my jack data as well as visual and audio, but naturally that won’t translate well across the holo.  I’ll look at it when we’re done.  It will be attuned to my brainwaves, so I’m the only one who could interpret it.”

            Meanwhile, Alfie and the handlers he’d brought with him were rushing Cas into the waiting transport.  Alfie was bent down close to Cas, trying to soothe him, clinging to his hands.  “It’s ok, you’re safe,” he called.  “Castiel, you’ve been damaged, and I want to try to help you as much as I can.  Will you let me?”

            “Help me!”

            “I’m going to take that as consent.  Alright...”

            The image grew worse as much more static suddenly filled the screen. “Alfie!” Cas was saying.  “Alfie, help me!”

            “I’m working on it, Cassie, hang on!  Wait...  Castiel, what’s this?”

            “Help me!”  Cas was rising slightly, pushing himself up on his elbows.  Even though I knew it was a hologram, I recognized what was coming and couldn’t stop myself from grabbing Alfie, turning him away as though I could shield him as Castiel’s hologram drew back and slammed his Angel blade forward.

            Cas screamed, just as his holo did at the same time.  I looked back, saw the holographic image of him draw back for another strike, and held tight to a struggling Alfie.  “Luc, turn it off!”

            “I am, it’s off!  Castiel!” Luc held tight to Cas.  “It’s ok, brother, stop, Alfie’s fine!”

            “He’s not!  He’s not because I killed him, I killed my brother, why couldn’t it have been me, why why?!”

            Luc held Cas to him as Alfie struggled free from me and went to comfort. Gabe raced in at the sound of screams and immediately went to Cas as well.  Luc looked hard at me and mouthed “Where’s Dean?”  Where, indeed?

            Meanwhile, Alfie was frantically trying to calm Cas, eventually asking to jack into him and calm him that way.  “I said something on that holo.  I found something, just before...  Anyway, I need to check that file, look at what’s there, and see what it is I found.”

            “Go ahead, but be careful!  Remember what the end of it was, alright?”  I’d joined Luc and Gabe, holding on to Cas.  Cas was calmer, but tears still poured down his cheeks.  I moved to Alfie.

            Alfie picked up the data chip, traced his fingers over it.  I saw his pale face go even paler as he viewed his own memories of the final moments of his life.  I saw him sway, caught hold of him.  “Alfie, you don’t have to do this!”

            “Yes, I do!”  His eyes were distant, so like the way he looked on the jack that I was almost surprised his eyes weren’t changing.  He clung to me with one hand, keeping his other on the data chip.  “I was in his head, trying to repair the damage.  And I saw something.  A loop...  A loop!” His eyes went wide.  “Castiel had a loop, just like what the diagnostic jack does, and I recognized that!  I knew it was the diagnostic jack, so I dug into it...”  He squeezed his eyes shut.  “Oh, no.  No, Castiel, it wasn’t your fault!”

            “It was!  I stabbed you, you saw it, I...”

            “No!”  Struggling free of me once more, Alfie moved to Cas and, to my shock, their eyes went violet and blue.  I was surprised.  Alfie never jacked into another Angel without first asking permission, but he did now. “Look!  Look at what I found, what I _did!_   This isn’t your fault, Castiel, it’s mine!  I was careless.  I tried to clear up that loop, and in doing so, I accidentally created another. That’s why you kept stabbing me, why you kept trying to stab Gabriel and Sammy, over and over, because I’d created another loop!  And that’s what I was trying to tell you, in the end.  It’s not your fault, Castiel.  It’s mine!  I did this, alright?  _I did it to myself!”_

            Cas stared at him.  “You... I...  I don’t understand.”

            “Me either,” Luc called.  “I mean, I understand what happened, but why was there a loop in the first place?”

            “Because someone used a diagnostic jack on you,” I realized. 

            Alfie frowned.  “It would have had to have been at least a level three scan to make that kind of change, but for you to not remember it means it must have been level four!  Castiel, who was it?  Who used that jack on you before you were stolen?”

            Cas went still.  “Naomi, with one of her techs.  A couple days before I was stolen.  Gabriel, you’d been having nightmares again, about Sammy?  Samandriel was spending nearly all of his time with you.  So Naomi was using the diagnostic jack to keep tabs on the rest of us.”

            “Yeah, they used that jack on me, too, for kind of the same reason,” Luc admitted.  “Because Alfie’s been so busy with Cas!”

            “And me,” Gabe added.  “When Alfie overloaded.  Naomi, and one of her techs.”

            “Let me see!”  Alfie’s eyes flashed violet, once again without permission.  I saw Gabe and Luc stiffen, their eyes glowing gold and red.  Then their eyes went back to normal, and Alfie nodded.  “It’s there. You both have it.”

            “What do you want to bet you all do?” I asked quietly.

            We all went still, staring at each other.  Then Lucifer growled.  “Where is she?”

****

**Samandriel**

            “It’s not your fault,” Michael said again.  “I’m just glad they confessed!”

            “Three of my handlers!” I exclaimed.  “I can understand one maybe getting greedy, but three?”  I shook my head.  “You know, for a bit there, I really thought it was mom!  But I should have known better.  Whatever else mom might be, her family is everything to her.”

            “So it was the handlers all along,” Sammy declared.  He shook his head.  “Bartholomew had nothing to do with it?”

            “I’m not so sure about that,” Dean called.  “There’s still questions that we don’t have answers to.  For instance, why was she so eager to push him as Cas’s bodyguard when we all know she hates veterans?”

            “It didn’t happen in this timeline, Dean,” Sammy reminded.

            “Not yet!” Dean retorted.  He looked like he wanted to say more, but he turned away.  Tense shoulders, furled brow, pressed lips, tense jaw.  Dean’s body radiated tension.  Granted, we’d all had a scare tonight, but somehow, it seemed like there was something more bothering Dean.

            Raphael was quiet.  Based on their body language, he’d been deep in private conversation over Angel Radio with Michael and Lucifer a moment ago, about what, I didn’t know.  But I didn’t like the serious looks on any of their faces. Michael came over now and put his hand on my shoulder.  “Hey, buddy, why don’t you stay with me tonight?”

            “Actually, I was hoping he’d stay in with us,” Dean called.  “I’m a little worried about Cas getting nightmares.”

            I cocked an eyebrow at him.  “Really? He’s so relieved to learn he wasn’t really responsible, and since I cleared up that loop, he was even talking a little about getting his Angel blade back!”  I was still reeling from what had happened.  It hadn’t even been the only loop in my brother’s head.  Once I started looking, I’d found three more. Tomorrow, I was going to have to start on my brothers in earnest.  It was troubling, and proof that the diagnostic jacks could indeed do a level four probe.  Good thing the loops were easy to find at level five.  But of course, Castiel was still my most pressing problem. Fine.  Castiel first, and then the loops.  I had my work cut out for me.

            “In that case, would you maybe consider staying with Gabe?” Sammy asked. “He’s still pretty shook up over what was on that data chip.”

            “No,” Michael immediately called.  “Alfie, stay with Cas tonight.”

            “And I’ll stay with Gabe,” Lucifer announced.  “Don’t worry, I’ll take the couch.”

            That was definitely weird.  Even as I nodded in agreement, I saw Sammy and Gabriel exchange puzzled looks.  But Raphael, Michael, and Lucifer had all taken oddly-defensive postures.  Lucifer was actually pushing me, steering me towards not Castiel, but Dean.  Dean gave a slight smile and put his arm around me, but his eyes were hard as he looked at Lucifer.  Lucifer refused to meet his eyes.  I glanced at Castiel, but he looked as confused as I felt.

            A short time later, I was in Castiel’s room.  I’d expected to be in my usual room, the one that had been commandeered for Dean, but Dean insisted I share the bed with Castiel.  “What’s going on?” I asked Castiel.  “I understand Dean not sleeping with you, at least until the announcements are made.  But he’s not sleeping in my old room, either.  I saw him setting up the couch.  I don’t think he’s planning on sleeping tonight, Castiel, I think he’s keeping watch!”

            “Dean is very protective.”  Castiel seemed somewhat confused, but otherwise unconcerned.

            “That’s the other thing!  What was he doing, while you were watching that file?  He had to have known how upset you’d get, so why wasn’t he there?”

            “I don’t know.”  My brother had wrapped his arms defensively around himself.  “He’s been upset ever since, protective, but he didn’t say anything.”

            I didn’t know what to think.  I headed out to brush my teeth, vowing to speak with Dean about it in the morning. But when I came out, I heard him talking softly.  Curious, I stepped out.

            Dean was on the phone, speaking to someone named Benny in a low voice.  He saw me, abruptly finished his call, and came over, smiling in a way that didn’t reach his eyes.  “Hey, Alfie, you need something?”

            “I was just brushing my teeth,” I told him.  “Is everything alright?”

            “Yup!  Hey, what do you say to a picnic, just the eight of us?  After today, I think we could all use a little R+R.  With a little work, I could probably even set it up for tomorrow afternoon, after you guys are done working.  What do you say?”

            “I say it sounds like a good idea,” I replied carefully.  “Dean, what’s wrong?  You’re on edge.”

            “Yeah, I am,” he admitted.  “I had a talk with Raph today and it didn’t go how I’d hoped.  But I’ll deal with it, alright?  Go get some sleep.”

            There was more to this than what he was saying, that much was obvious. But it was also clear I’d get no more from him.


	41. Chapter Twelve - Family Outing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean puts a desperate plan into motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author has been advised to start reinforcing her missile-proof bunker. Ignore the sounds of construction.

**Samandriel**

            Very little in life was better for me than being in a group of happy Angels. My ears were ringing with good-natured bantering, everyone teasing everyone else for whatever we could think of. My brothers were excited and energetic, glad to be going out.  After all, we hadn’t had a real outing since dad had gone.  We’d maxed out our jacks as soon as we could and were raring to go. We were loaded down with picnic baskets, blankets, sunscreen and insect repellent, glad we had a nice warm day for our outing.  There was only one dark spot.  My three oldest brothers were still acting oddly, and I’d realized that there was a common cause – Sammy.  For some reason, Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael were all acting suspiciously towards the younger Winchester.  Sammy, fortunately, seemed largely oblivious.  He was laughing and joking, clearly looking forward to being out with us. I didn’t push it.

            Dean had made some sort of frightful concoction that he’d loaded into a large thermos and was passing out, pouring the red-orange mixture into plastic cups and all but pouring it down everyone’s throat.  So far, Lucifer was the only one who’d been able to chug the mixture directly. Gabriel tried, and ended up choking and sputtering.  Even Sammy’s eyes were watering.  “Dean, what did you put in this, anyway?” he gasped.

            “Pure sulfuric acid,” Dean told him.  “Feel the burn!”

            “Dean, having us drink pure sulfuric acid would result in severe burns and...” Castiel paused, seeing the amused looks. “Oh.  That was a joke.  I don’t understand, why would causing excruciatingly painful chemical burns be considered amusing?”

            That only made it funnier.  Dean laughed, gave him a cup, and laughed again when Castiel took a drink and his eyes bulged.  “Now you’re a man!” he announced.

            “Is this mixture capable of changing gender?”

            Now it was just hilarious.

            When Dean came to me with my cup, though, I caught his arm.  “What’s wrong?” I asked him quietly.  “You’re tense, Dean, and you look upset. Something’s on your mind.  Do you want to talk about it?”

            I saw him flinch, saw a shadow pass over his eyes.  “Not yet,” he told me.  “There’s something we need to talk about, but now isn’t the time.  Later, alright?”

            I nodded, respecting that, and took the drink from his hand.  I’d been determined to guzzle it, just to show up Lucifer and Gabriel.  Yeah, that was a mistake.  Dean might not have actually been kidding about the stuff being made from pure sulfuric acid.  I seriously thought my eyes would pop out of my head and I’d be belching flames any minute. That brought about some roaring laughter from my wonderful, sympathetic brothers.  Assholes.  But even as I glared at them, I had to laugh at myself.

            Whatever Dean had put into that crap, it was strong.  After only a single drink, we were all feeling the effects. Lucifer was actually humming, leaning on Michael’s shoulder, much to my oldest brother’s irritation.  Gabriel had draped himself over Sammy, who was trying hard to convince him to be a little less inappropriate even as he was looking down at Gabriel with glazed eyes.  Castiel smiled and clung to Dean’s belt. Raphael was strolling aimlessly around us, smiling happily.  And I was mostly just trying to focus.  My head was pleasantly spinning.

            Naturally, when Dean checked his thermos and announced there was enough for one more round, we all clamored to accept.

            By the time we climbed into our transport, we were all giggling and goofy and clearly under the influence.  It was the big transport, able to fit all eight of us.  Eight grown intoxicated men in a single hover transport was a seating nightmare.  Once we convinced everyone that sitting on laps was not appropriate and no, no one was just going to lie on the floor, we were all in our safety harnesses and on our way.

            “You know what I don’t understand?” Lucifer complained.  “I don’t understand you, Sammy.  We Angels never touch alcohol, so yeah, we’re all the lightest of lightweights.  But you look drunker than all of us combined!  What’s your excuse?”

            “We may have been pre-gaming before we came down,” Dean admitted.  “You’ve got the security at the park so tight not even a fly will get through.  Sammy and I don’t get to just relax and enjoy ourselves too much, so we had a few in my room.”

            A chorus of “Ooooooh!” rang out in the car.  Sammy had his eyes closed and his head tilted back.  He waved dismissively at us.

            I was definitely feeling the effects of the two drinks.  Whatever Dean had in that thermos, it must have had some serious alcohol content.  I leaned against the window and watched the scenery, enjoying the buzz and listening to my giggling brothers.  Wherever we were going seemed pretty far out.  We were making good time, the scenery flashing by.  I turned in my seat, my eyes tracking an elaborately-decorated scarecrow in a cornfield.  And that was how I saw the vehicles diving down from above to drop silvery, electrified nets onto our security escort.  The hovercars went down, skidding along the ground, one of them spinning like a top until it came to a halt in a spray of dirt and dried-up corn plants.  “Hey, Lucifer?” I called.  “I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.”

            “Hmm?  Oh!” He grew silent, watching like the rest of us as more nets took out the security escort vehicles ahead of us, too. Our driver swerved wildly to avoid the crippled hovercars, moving around them and increasing speed.  “No, that is not supposed to happen,” Lucifer said. “Driver?  Have you called for backup?”

            “Y’all just hold tight,” he called in a thick Cajun accent.  “Everything’s under control.”

            “Excuse me, but that doesn’t seem like the case.”  Now Michael was looking around, watching like the rest of us as the attackers moved into place, surrounding our vehicle as we raced faster and faster away.  I could see his eyes widen, see his hand reaching towards his plate, and caught myself doing it as well.  We were all doing it now, even Lucifer.  Something was very, very wrong.

            Gabriel was shaking Sam, but Sam was just too far gone, only mumbling incoherently without opening his eyes.  And then Gabriel’s eyes went to the same place as my own.

            Dean sat slumped in his seat, not at all under the influence.  In retrospect, I realized the elder Winchester hadn’t consumed any of the potent potion in his thermos.  “Dean?” I called.  “What have you done?”

            Dean didn’t answer, but Castiel gave a little whimper.  “He’s stealing us!  He’s stealing us all!”

            Silence and stillness in the vehicle.  Dean closed his eyes.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  “But I have no other choice!  Please, just stay calm, ok, guys?  I promise no one will hurt you!”

            I heard Lucifer growl from his seat next to me, saw him strain to free himself from his safety harness.  But the harness held him fast.  Normally, my brother’s enhanced strength could have freed him, but whatever Dean had given us all had sapped his strength.  His Angel armor was up, his Angel blade extended to try to cut through the harness.  But he couldn’t focus, couldn’t seem to manage enough coordination to free himself. Already, his eyes were drooping. “Dean!  Don’t do this!  I trusted you!”

            “I know, Lucifer, and I’m sorry, but believe me, I’m trying to help you!”

            We were all struggling now, fighting against whatever had been in the drink to stay awake.  I threw myself against my harness, sawed ineffectively at it with my Angel blade, desperate to get out.  But Castiel was still.  He simply looked at Dean, hurt and betrayal shining from his drooping eyes.  I saw Dean look at him, take his hand.  And the last thing I saw before the world went dark was Castiel pulling his hand away.

****

            “He’s waking up.”

            “Angel Samandriel?  Can you hear me?”

            I groaned, trying to push my way through the darkness and open my eyes. All I could see was a blur of light. I blinked a few times and my vision cleared.  A pretty blonde-haired girl was leaning over me, smiling reassuringly down at me.  I groaned again, tried to reach up and rub my eyes.  And that was when I realized I’d been restrained.  Something was around my wrists, fastening my hands to whatever I was lying on.  I pulled hard, trying to twist them free, and tried to extend my Angel blade.  But something metal had been fastened around my right forearm.  I could feel my weapon strike it and then stop.  I wasn’t getting out that easily.  I tried to sit up.  Something was across my chest, holding me down.  Something was around my ankles.  I was trapped.  Frightened, I tried to activate Angel Radio.  Nothing.  We were out of the network.  With a sinking heart, I realized where we must be - Purgatory.  I started to struggle, fighting back panic.  “What is this?  Let me go!”

            “Shh, please, just calm down and listen!”

            The speaker was an older woman, another blonde.  She was either a mother or had mothering instincts because her hand was moving out to stroke my hair, the other resting gently on my chest, and she didn’t seem aware of either one until I snarled and shook my head. “Don’t touch me!”

            “Mom, don’t touch him!  He’s scared to death!”

            “Thank you, Joanna Beth, I can see that!”

            Mother/daughter team, then.  I raised my head as much as the strap across my chest allowed and looked around.  I was lying on some sort of gurney, complete with what appeared to be leather restraints.  There were several monitors facing away from me, so I couldn’t see what they were for.  But most alarming was the wire that draped into my vision when I turned my head, one that could only be connected to a jack in my plate.  I gasped.  “Take it out! Take it out of me!  Please, take it out of me!”

            “Easy!”  It was the daughter, Joanna Beth.  “Nothing’s happening.  No one is going to hurt you!”

            “You’re already hurting me!” I snarled, straining at the restraints. “You’ve stolen me, tied me down! Now you’ve plugged a jack into my plate without my consent, and I have no idea what you’re connecting me to! It’s like raping me!  Take it out!”

            I saw Joanna’s eyes go wide.  “Mom, maybe we should...”

            “Ladies!  Oh, good, he’s awake!” The man who had been driving the cab had apparently been wearing a wig and fake mustache, but I recognized the thick Cajun accent. “Angel Samandriel, welcome!”

            I shook my head frantically and tugged at my restraints.  “Get this jack out of me!”

            “Whoa, calm down, mon cher, nothing’s happening, and you don’t even know what it does!”

            “I don’t care!  I never agreed to it and I want it out!”

            “Benny, he said it was like raping him,” Joanna called nervously.

            “He’s just being dramatic,” her mother insisted.  She stepped closer and smiled at me.  “I’m Ellen Harvelle.  This is my daughter, Jo, and our friend, Benny.  We won’t hurt you.  We just need your help.”

            “Take this jack out of my plate!” I insisted.  “This conversation is going nowhere until you take it out of me!”

            Ellen sighed.  “What did Charlie say?”

            “That she can’t touch any of them,” Benny reported.  “Dean says he’s the only one who isn’t affected, and that something’s seriously wrong with Angel Castiel.  Angel Samandriel’s our only real chance.  We gotta do this!”

            More and more, I did not like what I was hearing.  “Whatever you’re planning?” I called.  “Whatever it is you want from me, I won’t cooperate!  I’ll fight, and I’ll keep fighting until you take this jack out of my plate!”

            “You don’t understand,” Jo insisted.  “We’re...”

            _“Take it out of me!”_ I roared.  I’d turned my head sideways and was banging it against the padded surface of the gurney, fruitlessly trying to dislodge the jack.

            “He is not going to listen to one word we say until we take that jack out of his plate,” Benny declared.  “May as well do it.  We can always plug him back in later.”

            And that was the horror of it.  All of our lives, the worst thing about being an Angel was the fact that anyone could hold us down and plug jacks into our plates without our consent, treating us like robots.  When we were kids, it happened frequently.  No human could understand the violation of the practice, the way anyone could take away our control simply by pushing a metal pin into an opening in the side of our heads.  In time, we’d learned to sort through the various handlers who would do that to us, either retraining them or firing them altogether.  When we got older, the addition of the Angel blades made us all feel more secure and largely ended the problem.  But the trauma of it, having our bodies restrained while uncaring hands shoved the jacks into our plates and connected us to whatever computer they wanted to use with us at the time, had lasted.  Now, even Lucifer would cover his plate if he got scared or self-conscious. That awful sense of violation had never gone away.

            But at least they were taking the jack out of me now.  Ellen was pulling it from my plate, and I breathed a sign of relief. Then I tugged again on my restraints. “Let me go,” I called.  “You’ve blocked my blade, made me helpless. There’s no need to keep me tied down!”

            “You’re not going anywhere, cher,” Benny sighed.  “Listen, we got a lot to tell you.”

            I grimaced.  I wanted loose, wanted a way to be sure no one could plug another jack into me without my consent, but that wasn’t going to happen now.  Alright.  They’d taken it out, so cooperate with them a bit.  See what they wanted, and maybe I could convince them not to force another jack into me.  I nodded. “I’m listening.”

            “Then listen to this.”  Benny had Gabriel’s gold and amber comb and was sliding it under my fingers for me to read. “Dean somehow brought it back with him from the future, that alternate timeline he came from.  I think it will answer a lot of questions.”

            It did.  I stayed silent as I scanned the data chip, letting the full impact hit me, letting it wash over me, giving myself time to process it all.  They were quiet as well, watching me, waiting for my reaction.  “I need Gabriel,” I said at last.  “He needs to see that, and make sure it’s real. Let me go, bring my brother in here, and if this is true, I’ll help you.”

            “I’m sorry, but we can’t let you go,” Ellen said.  “If you get your blade out, the only way we can stop you is by seriously damaging you, and we need you too much to risk that!”

            I ground my teeth in frustration.  “You honestly expect me to help you while you keep me strapped down and helpless?!”  I closed my eyes and counted to ten.  “Fine. Just bring Gabriel in here, let him see that.”

            A moment later, Benny was wheeling Gabriel in.  Gabriel was strapped down just as I was.  My brother’s Angel armor was up, his face full of terror as he struggled.  His eyes fell on me and widened.  “Alfie! Are you alright?!  What’s happening?!  Let him go!”

            “Gabriel, please stay calm.”

            Gabriel jerked frantically on his restraints.  “Let my brother go, and I’ll do whatever you say!”

            “Gabriel!” I yelled.  “Calm down! I need you to check something and tell me if it’s real.  Will you do that?”

            Gabriel eyed me.  Then he nodded.  “Alright. What is it?”

            “Data chip,” Benny explained.  “Dean Winchester got it to us.”

            “It was allegedly in your comb,” I told Gabriel as Benny moved towards him. “A titanium gold plated and amber comb. Sound familiar?”

            I could see that, despite his obvious fear, my brother’s interest was piqued.  He watched warily as Benny held the data chip to let Gabriel scan it.  Then his amber eyes went wide, and my suspicions were confirmed.


	42. Chapter Thirteen - Future Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to the other Angels, while Samandriel and Gabriel view the chip on the comb Castiel brought back from the future

**Sam**

            I shook the bars of my cell, watching helplessly as the big bastard took Gabe.  My angel’s eyes were wide and panicked, looking frantically back at me as he was wheeled out.  I could see him struggling, straining against the leather straps that held him.  But he didn’t say a word.  My heart filled with pride even as it pounded in terror.

            But my brothers were anything but silent.  Mike, Raph, and Cas were screaming, struggling as they cried out for Gabe.  Luc’s howls of fury and frustration nearly drowned them out.  From my cell I could hear the metal clamps they’d used to lock him down creaking as he strained to free himself.  I’d been sickened to see jacks lying next to them all.  What had these bastards been doing to my Angels?! How could Dean do this, especially to Castiel?!  If I couldn’t see Cas struggling against his restraints with my own eyes, I never would have believed Dean could be that cold.  Cas was already broken from being stolen before.  He might never recover from a betrayal like this!  But there was nothing I could do now except try to reach them.

            “Calm down!” I yelled.  “I’ll get us out of this, I swear it!  They’ll make a mistake, alright?  We just have to be calm and wait for it.”

            “What’s it to you?” Raph snapped, shocking me.  “You betrayed us well before your brother did!”

            “Maybe.”  Mike’s eyes studied me, even as I froze in shock.  “It was Dean that drew your attention to those accounts, wasn’t it?”

            “It was,” Raph confirmed.  Now he was staring at me, too.

            “Ok, I’m going to ask you straight out,” Luc said.  “Sammy, have you been stealing from us?”

            “What?!  No!” I sputtered.  “Why the hell would you even think that?  I’m your _brother!_   I’d never steal from you!”

            “I’ve got evidence that proves otherwise,” Raph accused.  “Your brother Dean came to me yesterday, asked me to check on your finances.  And when I did, I found millions of company dollars that had been diverted into your personal accounts!  He seemed to think it was proof of something, but Sammy, when I checked those accounts, all I saw was proof that you’d been embezzeling from us!”

            “You used your access to channel a tiny, almost unnoticable percentage off the back of every transaction into your own accounts!” Mike accused.  “How could you do that?!”

            “I didn’t!  Wait, how the hell would Dean know to even look?”

            Naturally, that was when Benedict Arnold himself came slinking in.  I threw myself at the bars, reaching for him. “Dean!” I roared.  “I swear, if these fuckers so much as touch Gabe, I will...!”

            “Dammit, Sammy, would you calm down?!” Dean exclaimed.  “Guys, all of you, please, calm down!  No one is going to hurt any of you, I swear it!”

            “You’ve stolen us, Dean!” Michael yelled, straining.  “We’re strapped down, there are jacks next to our heads, Alfie’s missing, and they just took Gabe!  Would you be calm?!”

            “They’re safe.  And I didn’t want any of you tied down, but I got outvoted, primarily because no one wants to face those damned Angel blades!  Now I’m here to try to calm everyone down, explain what’s really going on, and as soon as I possibly can, I’ll let you all go.”

            “Why, Dean?!” Luc yelled.  “We knew your brother was a traitor, but we trusted you!  You’re the one who helped us find that out!  I was counting on you to protect us from him!  Why would you do this to us?!”

            “That’s why!” Dean exclaimed.  “Because you’re all willing to believe something that isn’t true about someone you used to call your brother!  You’ve been influenced, and I knew I’d never be able to convince you, and it was a matter of time before I ended up in the same boat. I had to get you safe!  Listen, I know you don’t believe me right now, but all seven of you are in terrible danger!”

            “Dean, how long have we been unconscious?” I asked.  “Their indicators were full when we left, and now they’re almost at zero!”

            “It’s been nearly ten hours,” he admitted.  “You’re all in Purgatory.  And if you just stay calm and listen to me, I can explain everything!”  He combed his fingers through his hair, seeming to be at a loss.  “I don’t even know where to begin with all this.”

            “Start with our brothers,” Mike ordered.  “Where are Gabe and Alfie?”

            “They’re with the Hunter leaders, learning what I’m about to tell you.  And I know you’re not going to believe me.  I know that, alright?!  Even if I brought in what they’re showing Alfie and Gabe right now, you wouldn’t believe me because you’re influenced and Alfie was so busy working on Cas that he never had a chance to fix it!”

            His eyes went to Cas.  Cas’s blue eyes were full of pain and betrayal, quietly accusing Dean.  Dean flushed and looked away.  “Guys, you’ve been manipulated.  You’ve all been toyed with and made to dance on strings by Naomi Shurley and a piece of shit named Adam Bartholomew.”

**Samandriel**

            “Dean, if you’re seeing this, it means I’m probably dead,” Sam said in the recording on the data chip.  “I’m recording it on a chip I hid in Gabe’s comb, after the wedding vows I recorded for him.  Normally, I’d believe it’s the one thing Gabe would never let go.  But Gabe’s been influenced, had his emotions altered against me.  They all have except Alfie, so just to be sure, I’m going to instruct Gabe to give this to Cas after my funeral as my final wish.  Cas is so fussy about his hair that he’ll use it all the time and you’re bound to see it.  It’s fancy enough that I hope you’ll ask about it.  If he gives it up, you’ll know for sure that my angel’s been corrupted. Because I know that you’ll come into Heaven’s Angels after me, Dean.  And you’ve got to find this!  You need to know what I found out.  It concerns two people, and the first is Naomi Shurley.”

            “Whatever else you can say about Naomi, she loves Alfie and everything she does is for him.  She built her new diagnostic jack using a replica of his computer, probably because she was trying to keep him from overloading as much as he does.  I believe, at first, it was just to protect him. I don’t think he even knows about it, but once she realized its potential, she got greedy.  That’s why, when the single biggest contract Heaven’s Angels had ever taken came up, she used that jack on the Angels, altered their feelings about it, and almost succeeded in passing Project Chimera right through. The only problem she had was Gabe’s empathy.  It wasn’t easy to sway him off of his feelings about it.  In the end, she wound up with a logic loop.  That’s the telltale mark of her jack, when she makes big changes.  The Angel always ends up with a logic loop, some sort of repetative behavior.  Once you figure out where to look, it’s easy to spot!”

**Sam**

            “So Naomi pushed Chimera through and earned herself a huge pay-off on the side, through an illegal, unethical bonus,” Dean explained.  “She did that for Alfie too, reinvesting in the company through a shell company that she’d later use to increase his share.  But it was the opening Bartholomew needed.  He found out about it and started blackmailing her, forcing her to keep using that jack and sway you guys, a contract here, a loophole there.  It was all geared towards one thing - keeping the company rolling, expanding its power and influence on a worldwide scale.  He was trying to get the whole world under contract, and make the Defense section powerful enough that no one and nothing could really stand against the company. And Chimera was his golden ticket!”

**Samandriel**

            “Bartholomew had the Chimera enhancements himself, knew what they could do,” Sammy explained.  “And you were right.  Every soldier in your division was broken by them.  You and the rest drew back in horror from what you’d become.  But Bartholomew was already broken.  He saw what had been done to him and embraced it, saw it as a way he could control others.  All he had to do was get control of the company who’d made the enhancements in the first place.  And Naomi’s crime gave him the chance.”

**Sam**

            “So you believe that this man figured out a deception by Naomi that Gabe and Luc both missed?” Mike was asking skeptically.  “Dean, this is a stretch!”

            “No, actually, it’s not,” Dean countered.  “She’s probably done other shit before, because I doubt that a massive deception like Chimera and how she pulled that one off was the first thing she’d ever done.  But Chimera was certainly her biggest to date!  And Bartholomew specifically had his eyes on Naomi, watching for his chance. He had his own special reason to go after her.”

**Samandriel**

            “Naomi was much younger than Dad Shurley when she married him, but she’d still done some living,” Sam explained.  “She bases her whole life around Samandriel now, but when she was still in college and became pregnant with her first child, prior to marrying Chuck? She was focused on her career. She arranged for a private adoption with her wealthy roommate in college, who then invested heavily in Heaven, Incorporated.  And I believe they either told Bartholomew, or he found out, because he knows who his biological mother is.  Given her mothering skills, putting Bartholomew up for adoption at the time was the best option.  But he’s still her biological son, and Naomi knows it!”

**Sam**

            “In hindsight, I’m kicking myself,” Dean grumbled.  “He always did act a lot like her.  And she hates veterans and the poor, but she acted like Bartholomew hung the moon and stars and even risked pissing off Luc to try to get him assigned to Castiel instead of me!  I think, at first, she resisted, which is why he was blackmailing her.  But with Samandriel gone, he would have been all she had.  Given what I know now about how she is with Alfie, it makes sense that she’d give him all the access she could, especially after she blamed Cas for Alfie’s death. But of course, that all happened later, and Sam, you didn’t know that then!”

**Samandriel**

            “I don’t know how far she’ll go, how much access she’ll give him to the company,” Sam admitted.  “But she’s already tampered with the Angels, and I believe he’s already inside with a false ID.  I can’t prove it, but someone’s inside the company pulling strings besides Naomi. And when I started poking around too much in the personnel files, that’s when I must have drawn attention to myself. Because when I started really looking into the Chimera mission files, poking my nose into classified files from the Defense section I know I shouldn’t have been accessing, I got caught quick.  I know Gabe tried to cover for me at first, but Naomi came to him as company spokesperson and said his actions to protect me violated international laws and jeopardized the company.  She said the company would cover for him, but he needed to either put me on some sort of probation and make me prove myself, or call for a vote to fire me.  So that’s where I’m at.”

            “Dean, I know how much ridicule, how much disbelief, you faced when you and what was left of your squad tried to tell the world what Chimera was, and I bought right into it.  I’ll never forgive myself for that!  All I was trying to do was prove what happened to you, get the evidence you never had to prove your story!  I should have known Gabe would catch on and try to cover it up instead of coming to me about it.  But the Angels have all been corrupted except for Samandriel, and now Gabe’s just discovered that a tiny percentage off the back of every transaction the company does is being funneled into an account in my name!  It’s insidious, happening just before the money’s actually deposited into the company’s accounts, and obviously an inside job because otherwise Raph would have spotted it fast.  I can’t help but feel that this was the original plan to get rid of me, to call for a vote to fire me for embezzlement.  Gabe got rid of it, of course.  But it’s too late.  I gave them the perfect opportunity, put my own head into the noose, when I looked in those Defense section files.”

            “Gabe just told me that, as a condition of my continued employement, he was sending me on mission to check out the Stynes.  I don’t think he knows it, but I’m fully aware this is probably going to be an ambush.  I know it’s a test, but it’s also a real threat.  So I’ll go, and I’ll watch my back and try to stay alive so I can come back and maybe find a way to undo what’s been done.  But if I don’t make it back, then Dean, it’s up to you.  Because Bartholomew wants my Angels, Dean!  They’re in danger, especially Samandriel! Bartholomew will basically enslave the others, but if he can’t control Alfie, then he’ll find a way to get rid of him. Save them, Dean!  Please, save them!”

**Sam**

            “In the end, he did manage to get rid of Alfie,” Dean explained.  “I don’t know if he was behind Cas’s abduction or not, but it didn’t matter because Alfie was dead.  Then Naomi ended up cracking all of your plates, getting you all addicted to the jack so you’d keep working.  And that’s what you did in my time.  You worked.  It was your whole life, to max out those jacks every day.  And Cas, I know at least you were miserable, angel.”  His eyes and voice softened as he looked down at Cas.  “I’m sorry, Cas.  I know how much this had to hurt you, which is why I was too big of a coward to be here and face you when you woke up.  It makes me sick to see you strapped down like this, and I’ll let you go as soon as I can.  But angel, I did this for you!  You built Project Samandriel, did this incredible thing for one chance to save your brothers.  Now is your chance!”

            Cas didn’t respond.  We were all quiet, watching him as he squinted up, seeming to consider Dean’s words.  “I went to Raph and asked him to check for any accounts in Sammy’s name because if that was the original plan, then I knew it had to have already started.  And it was! But Sammy never even knew about those accounts, alright?  And he didn’t know what I was going to do here, either.”  Dean took his hand, bowed his head almost as if in prayer.  “Cas, angel, please believe me?  I fought and bled for you, jumped off a building for you, and I know damned well what the penalty is for stealing all six of you the way I did.  And it’s worth it!  It’s worth it, if I can at least save you!”

            That produced some grumbling from the others.  I frowned as I saw Cas’s hand close around Dean’s.  The story my brother had just told was pretty incredible, and I didn’t trust violent terrorist groups like the Hunters any further than I could throw them.  But this was Dean.  I remembered all too well what had happened the last time I hadn’t believed him when he told me an incredible story.

            Dean’s eyes were full of pain as they looked down at Castiel.  But they suddenly went wide.  The green glow of his optics began to show.  Then Dean’s eyes changed to a baleful, glowing red.

            I froze.  Dean was standing as he was, holding onto Cas’s hand – with his right hand.  His Chimera arm.  In the hand of an Angel.

            Lucifer gasped.  “He had a black-out pin, and he’d already worked for us!  How can he not be blacked out?!”

            “Cas used him for his machine!” Raphael reminded.  “That would have reset him, but I assumed Luc blacked him back out again!”

            “I didn’t know that!  I don’t do tech, I just use the stuff!  I saw his pin and assumed he was blacked out!”

            I stared.  “Is that... Chimera?”  Dean was standing stiff and still, his face blank as he looked down at Cas.  But those glowing red eyes were proof.  _Chimera._   Intellectually, I’d come to understand he’d been telling the truth.  But seeing my brother now, seeing how completely his implants could control him, made me feel sick.  “Cas, don’t do this!  Please, let him go!”

            “Don’t let him go!” Mike ordered.  “Do not let go of him, Cas!  You’ve got control of him now, so use him!  Make him unstrap you, then bring him over, free Luc, and let him have Dean.  Luc can use him to find our brothers and get out of here!”

            I could see the emotions flashing over Cas’s face.  His eyes were fixed, horrified, on the red eyes looking down at him.

            “Castiel!” Mike barked.  “This is our one chance to save our brothers!  Use Dean!  Do it!”

            Cas flinched.  Then he nodded, his eyes nearly as blank as Dean’s.

            Dean made a small sound.  He shuddered, reached out with his left hand, and started undoing Cas’s restraints. Cas got up amid the cheers of his brothers, clutching Dean’s hand as he moved to free Lucifer. 

            Luc caught Dean’s wrist as soon as he was freed.  “Perfect, I’ve got full control!  Cas, how did you know...?”

            “I didn’t,” Cas confessed.  He moved like a robot to free the rest of his brothers.  “I just was upset, wanted him to stop, and he suddenly froze with red eyes. It took me a moment to understand.” There was no pleasure in Castiel’s face or voice.  His eyes were full of pain as he looked at Dean.  “I never wanted to see him like this.”

            “None of us did,” Michael called softly.  “But you did the right thing.  We’ll use him to get out, and then black him out and make sure he gets a fair trial.”

            A fair trial?  Dean had stolen six Angels!  The best lawyer in the world couldn’t keep him from a firing squad now.  My heart was pounding as I gripped the bars.  If the Angels took Dean with them, kept him under their control until they were rescued, then my brother was dead for sure!

            “The only problem is that I’ll have to keep holding on to him to keep him under control,” Luc said.  “That’s going to limit how well we can both fight.  What we really need is a jack.”

            “There’s these?”  Raph picked up the wired jack on his gurney.  “Cas, can you do anything with it?”

            Cas took it without a word.  He checked his pockets, found them empty.  Naturally.  Dean likely got rid of anything in all of our pockets the same time he removed our tracking devices, long before we got to Purgatory.  But Cas quietly got into one of Dean’s pockets and produced a tool kit. He cut the jack loose, leaving a long wire, sorted through some more parts lying scattered around the room and went to work.  A moment later, he’d produced a makeshift plug at the end of a wired Angel jack.  The Angels cheered as Cas carefully inserted the plug into a hidden port at the base of Dean’s cybernetic arm and handed the jack to Luc.  I noticed he hadn’t been able to actually look at Dean the entire time.

            “You?” Luc called as he plugged the jack into his plate, “are a genius!  Ok, Dean, I never, ever wanted to do this to you, but you’ve left me with no choice.  So no pulling on the wire, ok?”

            Naturaly Dean couldn’t respond.  His eyes stared straight ahead, waiting for orders.

            “What about him?”

            Raphael was standing at my cell, looking at me through the bars as I’d been quietly watching.  I licked my lips.  “I didn’t betray you.  Let me out, and I’ll help you get our brothers back so we can all get out of here!”

            “Can we trust him?” Mike asked, looking at Luc.

            Luc was looking hard at me.  “He may be a thief,” he said at last, “but he’s been nothing but protective towards us. This is your test, Winchester.  Do not let us down!  Follow my orders, don’t try anything funny, and do not even touch your brother!”

            I breathed a sigh of relief as the cell door opened and stepped out, looking at Dean.  It was killing me to see him like this, but what could I do?  If I pulled the wire out of his arm, they’d only grab him again, and I’d be locked up as well.  No.  I had to play along for now, watch for my chance to save my brothers.  All of them.

            Dean’s glowing red eyes seemed to be watching me.  His face was absolutely blank, but a single tear ran down his cheek.

**Samandriel**

            “It’s real,” Gabriel said softly.  “I don’t understand.  Alfie, Naomi was controlling us, using the diagnostic jack to influence us, from a decade ago when we passed on the Chimera project?!”

            “Seems that way,” I said softly.  “She must have had a diagnostic jack capable of level four for at least that long, maybe longer.  It explains why there were so many loops in Castiel’s computer, because she’d been controlling him the longest.  It makes sense, too, that she’d want tight control over him.  Castiel is the reason that most clients want to join, after all. In retrospect, I have to wonder if that has something to do with why she fought so hard to keep guardianship of him.”

            I was trying hard to keep my emotion out of my voice, but failing.  Jo was with me, dabbing at my face with a kleenex. I frowned and turned my face away from her.  “Let me jack into Gabriel and clear up the loops in his head.  Then I can work through my brothers.  I should probably start with Lucifer, huh?”

            “I know I’d appreciate it,” Benny agreed.  “I have no desire to face that one!”

            “Heads up, bitches!” a female voice called from somewhere.  “We got trouble in the holding area!”

            The holoprojector started up, displaying a view of the holding area. My brothers were all getting loose, which brought a cheer from Gabriel.  But my heart sank at the sight of Dean’s red eyes.

            “Chimera?!” Benny exclaimed.  “They’ve taken him over!  How the hell can they do that if he’s blacked out?!”

            “I don’t know, but it’s gotta be hell for Dean!” Ellen exclaimed.  “We need to act fast!  Charlie, can you lock everything down?”

            “Already done,” the unseen woman called.  “But that’s not going to hold them for long, especially if they keep that up!”

            On the holo, Lucifer had stabbed his Angel blade into the door, peeled back a bit. Now he, Dean, and Sammy were working together to literally tear the door open.  I stared hard at Sammy, stunned that he’d be party to using his brother like this.  But then I realized that the younger Winchester likely had no choice.  With the recent coldness towards Sammy, he was almost as helpless in this as Dean.  I struggled.  “Let me go! I need to repair Gabriel, and then the two of us need to try to reach them.”

            “You’re not going anywhere, but yes, you need to fix Angel Gabriel.”  To my dismay, Ellen had the jack in her hand. “We’ll plug you both in, let you fix him with Charlie monitoring you.  Then you need to work with Charlie, alright?”

            My heart was pounding as she came closer with the jack, and I saw Gabriel tensing up as well.  But what choice did we have?  I couldn’t help but flinch away when the jack was pushed into my plate.  But then came the surge of data, and suddenly I was looking at the holograph of a red-haired woman, standing next to Ellen.  A fanfare played.  “Hello, boys!” she called.  “I’m Charlie, the Angel of Purgatory!”

            “A false Angel,” I groaned in dismay.  “I should have known.”

            “Yeah, well, fuck you, too!” she spat.  “I don’t like you conceited assholes either, but that doesn’t matter.  Because it’s Angel against Angel now, and the shit just got real!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive ****PLATINUM STAR**** to Tem! I asked her not to mention it in her comments, but as my test reader who had early access to this story, she is the only one who picked up that Dean was never actually blacked out since he returned to the cabin. It's too bad, really. She was screaming BLACK HIM OUT!! repeatedly. Too bad the characters refused to listen to her!
> 
> Ever heard of the Milgram Experiments? I had them in mind while writing this story. For those who may not be aware, these videos explain them very well.
> 
> https://www.khanacademy.org/test-prep/mcat/behavior/social-psychology/v/milgram-experiment-on-obedience
> 
> https://www.khanacademy.org/test-prep/mcat/behavior/social-psychology/v/what-can-we-learn-from-the-milgram-experiment


	43. Chapter Fourteen - Angel Warfare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hunters reveal their plan. Samandriel and Gabriel make a desperate play to try to save themselves and their brothers. Castiel makes a decision.

**Samandriel**

            Making an Angel isn’t easy.  It’s more than just implanting a computer into someone’s head.  Mom and dad made me out of desperation, then created my brothers once they’d realized my potential.  But until we’d proven our worth, and even afterwards, our lives were shadowed by controversy.  Castiel and I had been babies and had developed fairly well.  Raphael and Gabriel had some issues, but generally did well.  Michael, who had been nearly seven years old when he became an Angel, had so little of his natural brain that he only suffered some minor issues as he developed. But Lucifer, only four months younger than Michael, had responded poorly to the implantation of his computer.  The earliest pictures of us as a family showed dad cradling my brother’s flaccid body in his arms, tubes running from Lucifer’s stomach and throat leading to the machines that fed and breathed for him. The enhancements that made Lucifer so powerful were originally developed to try to keep him alive.

            Unfortunately, other companies were quick to try to copy dad’s ideas, but weren’t willing to put in the time to raise infants or young children.  Looking for moneymakers fast, false Angels had been created from adults who had been born anencephalic or had part of their brains removed due to accident or illness.  There had even been some highly-publicized cases where people had parts of their brains surgically removed specifically so computers could be inserted.  But our computers worked because our physical brains had been given time to literally grow into them.  It was a process that couldn’t be rushed.  And the unfortunate truth was that even in the rare case where an Angel was raised as we were, no one cared enough to do as much for them as dad had done for us.  I’d never heard of a single false Angel as capable as we were.  Most of them were confined to wheelchairs, some to beds. Precious few of them were capable of much social interaction.  And Charlie was the first I’d ever known who could think as well as I could.

            I had no idea what to think of Charlie.  I could tell nothing from her hologram about what she was really like, but it was clear her mind was very sharp.  Unfortunately, she was completely unprepared for my brother.  The moment a jack was in his plate, Gabriel started hacking her system, and a moment later, his hologram joined hers.  Her wails of dismay alarmed all three of the Hunters in the room, who immediately swore and pointedly looked away from Gabriel’s avatar.  Jo was actually hiding her face in my shoulder. I groaned and irritably shook her off. “Gabriel?  What are you doing?!”

            “You like?”  The life-sized golden angel spread his wings and struck a pose.  “I’m thinking of switching my avatar to this.  What do you think?”

            “It would use up too much data, and probably cost us clients,” I told him. “Gabriel, is the loincloth really necessary?”

            “Fine.”

            More cursing.  Benny looked ready to throw up.  “Put it back on!” Charlie shrieked.  “I do _not_ want to see that!”

            The nude image of my brother shrugged, and the tiny loincloth thankfully reappeared.  “No accounting for taste.  Listen, sweetheart, if my manhood is too much for you...?”

            “I assure you, it is not,” Charlie spat.  “First of all, I’m not into men.  Second, I can see you lying over there on that gurney and you have absolutely exaggerated certain features!”

            Uh oh.  The last thing I wanted was to draw any attention to Gabriel’s physical form.  “Moving on!” I called.  “As much as I hate to admit this, I cannot repair Gabriel right now.”

            “Why not?” Ellen challenged.  “That’s what you’re built to do!”

            “Two reasons.  First, this network you’ve jacked me into is completely inadequate.  That level of precision needs way faster processing speeds than I’m capable of here.”

            “So sorry that the work mom and dad did all alone, without billions in financial investments and government backing, isn’t good enough for you, Samandriel,” Charlie grumbled.

            Mom and dad?  I glanced at Benny and Ellen.  “Wasn’t us, cher,” Benny corrected.  “But Charlie’s parents set this whole thing up.  It’s what got ‘em killed.”

            “Yeah, so watch your mouth!” Charlie snapped.

            Gabriel sniffed.  “Calm down, honey, he’s just answering the question.”

            Charlie stared at my brother’s smirk.  “You enjoy being an abrasive prick, don’t you?”

            “Every minute of every day!”

            Jo looked strained for patience.  “Angel Samandriel, what can be done to correct this?  We really need Angel Gabriel to lose that corrupting influence!”

            “Actually, this network isn’t bad,” Gabriel called, earning himself a double-take from Charlie.  “the biggest thing slowing it down is the halfwit redhead sitting like a spider in the middle of it, trying to spy on us.”

            Charlie’s avatar was amazing.  Her flush of fury was lifelike.  “Oh, you son of a...!”

            “Gabriel’s rudeness aside, he’s right,” I sighed.  “Charlie, your filtering slows the processing time.  You need to let us go.”

            “Let the Trickster run loose on my network?”  Charlie scoffed.  “Not a chance!  I wouldn’t even let you do it, much less him!”

            That was a setback.  I dared to glance at Gabriel.  He gave me a slight nod even as his avatar gave a near-perfect sneer, keeping everyone’s attention to it.  Good. I could already see the indicators in his eyes starting to spread as he continued to quietly work.

            “What’s the second problem?” Ellen asked.

            “Time,” I replied.  “It takes a deep scan to repair him, complete unconsciousness...”

            “I like this plan already!”

            I rolled my eyes at Charlie.  “It will take at least a couple of hours.  Lucifer and the Winchesters are going to break in here before I’m done. How do you think they’ll react to seeing the two of us, unresponsive, strapped down with jacks in our plates?!”

            “He’s got a point there,” Benny agreed.  “Dean’s trapped, and we know Sam’s loyal as hell to those Angels and hates us.  He sees this, he’ll fight.”

            “My husband will never stop fighting for us!” Gabriel’s avatar declared. “Just let us go, we’ll go home, and everyone can try to forget this ever happened.”

            “We can’t,” Ellen said.  “We need Angel Samandriel, and Charlie can’t hack your network.”

            “That’s what this is about?” I exclaimed as Gabriel groaned.  “You want us to give you an illegal license?! That’s not going to happen!  Just let us go!”

            Jo took my hand, ignoring the fact that I tried to twist it away.  “Angel Samandriel, we need you,” she told me. “You’re a doctor, and people are dying! We need you to break into your network so we can save them.”

            “Save who?”

            “The veterans!” Benny exclaimed.  “The ones stuffed full of your shit and then kicked out onto the street, used by the government they just fought for to spy on everyone else.  The poor saps like Dean who can be completely taken over just like he was, straight down to the pencil pushers who still were enhanced just in case they’re needed.  Vets in every country around the world on your damned network, that society shuns until they find a way to get a black-out.  Then they can’t even get basic medical care for fear they end up back on the books!”

            “But Charlie can shut them down,” Jo urged.  She was still holding my hand.  “One good pulse over the network, and every vet gets their processors blacked out for good!  We just need a good hour on your network, and it’s all over!  That’s what Purgatory is for, a safe haven for veterans all over the world.  They come here and Charlie blacks them out, but it’s not enough.  We need to black them out for good!  And the only way to do that is from inside your network.”

            “Bullshit!” Gabriel scoffed.  “That would require access to the actual processors.  If there was any way to do that, between me, Luc, and Cas, we’d have found it!”

            “Sorry, but the great omnipotent Angels were just too close to see it!” Charlie boasted.  “There’s a way alright, but only someone trying to hack in from outside of your network would have caught it.  And I did! Suck it, Trickster!”

            Gabriel rolled his eyes.  “Everyone knows Purgatory is a bunch of terrorists.  Besides, if you really have a way to permanently shut down the tracking and control functions on vet implants, why didn’t you do it to Dean when he was here?”

            “Because I can’t touch them!” Charlie exclaimed.  “Your network is too secure, and those enhancements are tagged into it.  You made it possible for major businesses to be able to black vets out for a fee, and that’s how I got the ability to black people out, by hacking one of them.  But to do a permanent block, I need in the network.”

            “And that’s why her parents are dead,” Benny said.  “Because someone in our own ranks found out about the real goal behind Purgatory and went after Charlie and her folks, blew up their house to stop her.  Only reason Charlie’s alive is because the computers around her shielded her, and it took us months to set back up before she finally cracked it.  But it’s no surprise you don’t believe us.  The governments do not want their soldiers blacked out permanently, so they’ve been seeding lies about us for years.  We’re blamed for half of the acts of terrorism they do themselves on their own people to hide their secrets!”

            “That someone in your ranks, would it be Adam Bartholomew?” I asked.

            “We never found out,” Ellen admitted.  “But it would have been about the time he left.”  She waved a hand.  “Here is the bottom line.  We have the ability to remove the tracking functions, and the ability of the Chimera implants to override free will.  But that is the _last_ thing that the world governments want!  So if Bartholomew went shopping among them for support in destroying us and gaining control of the six of you, he would have had plenty!”

            “Only reason we’ve lasted this long is the vets,” Benny admitted.  “Those men and women will fight to the death for us.”

            “And they’re doing it right now!” Charlie exclaimed.  “Those Angels are fighting their way through to here. That’s why you have got to help us!”

            “Afraid not, sis!”

            Finally.  I breathed a sigh of relief as the lights in the room suddenly flickered.  Charlie screamed and blinked out.  Gabriel smiled.  “They don’t call me the Trickster for nothing!  Alright, ladies and gentleman, I have now taken control of both your network, and the life support systems I see are keeping your precious Angel alive.  Let us go. Or else!”

            It was a bluff, of course.  One look at Gabriel’s face and I saw the flash of guilt.  No one with as much empathy as he had could actually hurt Charlie. But the Hunters didn’t know that. And their attention was focused on the proud, haughty avatar that was smirking at them over his crossed arms, looking like he was perfectly capable of doing exactly what he’d implied.

            Everyone froze.  Then Benny raced forward, grabbed the jack in Gabriel’s plate, and ripped it out.

            Once again, the lights flickered.  My brother’s eyes went wide as his body convulsed.  My screams joined those of Ellen and Jo, the women running over too late as Gabriel’s body jerked once more and then went suddenly, horribly still.

**Sam**

            I’d heard about the terrorist cell that occupied Purgatory and how fiercely devoted they were to their cause.  Captured members had been known to resist even the most brutal of interrogations, leaving frustrated governments thwarted again and again.  I was seeing more of that now.  Even when we were able to remove the metal cuffs and free our weapons, the deadly Angel blades seemed little deterrent.  Fortunately, they didn’t seem to have weapons capable of piercing Angel armor, or at least no desire to use them.  But there were nets and blunt weapons in abundance.  Obviously, the goal was to capture us.

            I kept my Angels close together to protect them, even as I watched for my chance to help Dean.  To the unknowing eye, Dean was fighting like a tiger, brutally attacking anyone who tried to stop us as we battled our way through the building, searching for our missing Angels. But Dean’s face was perfectly blank, his eyes still blazing red.  I kept a close eye on the wire tethering him to Luc.  Luc was guarding it, making sure no terrorist could sever him from Dean. But that occupied much of his attention, and I finally saw my chance.  A terrorist came charging Raph, swinging what looked like a piece of pipe. Raph took the blow harmlessly on one armored arm and I ducked down, got my shoulder under her, and threw her awkwardly behind me.

            My aim was good.  She slammed into Dean’s back, sending him stumbling forward, and the line went taut. One more step, and I knew it would have snapped.  But it didn’t happen.  Dean’s fucking special ops reflexes restored his balance, and Luc turned to glower at me. “Watch it, Winchester!”

            “Sorry,” I called.  Then I went back to fighting, trying hard to think of another option.

            Cas, I noticed, hovered close to Dean.  Even with no blade, I’d seen what a fierce fighter he was.  But he wasn’t fighting now.  He mostly just dodged, and occasionally moved to shield Dean from a flying object.  His eyes were fixed on my brother.

            Then, to my absolute shock, Cas’s hand reached out, grabbed the wire, and yanked it out of Dean’s arm.

            Dean gasped, even as Luc yelled in negation and grabbed his arm.  “No!” Dean yelled.  “Stop, please!”

            Castiel was there again, shoving himself between Luc and Dean, pushing Dean away. And then the red glow vanished from Dean’s eyes.

            Luc lunged for Dean, caught his arm.  But Dean only glared at him.  “Let go of me!”

            “Cas, what the hell?!  You blacked him out!”

            “Yes!  Because this isn’t right, Lucifer!  I had no right to take away his free will, and I will never, ever let it happen again!”

            Mike swore.  “You just got us all killed!”

            “Dean’s free will means more to him than life!”

            “It means more to all of us!  _STOP!_ ” Dean thundered.  “Everyone just stop, ok?  Let me talk to them!”  He turned to Luc.  “Lucifer, you cannot win this!  There are literally thousands of people here, and every single man and woman will throw themselves at you physically, pile on top of you to prevent you from leaving.  If necessary, they’ll even kill me if you manage to take me over again!  They were already trying!  You need to stop, and listen!”

            Dean was right.  Already the halls were full, people shoulder-to-shoulder determined to stop us. All around were nothing but hard faces. I’d moved on instinct, pushing Cas back and getting between the terrorists and my Angels.  Now I had my arms out, pressing them back towards the wall, trying to watch everywhere at once.  Even Lucifer had gone still, his red eyes narrowing as he saw the impossible odds against us.  He reluctantly let go of Dean, stepping back to guard his brothers.

            Hurt green eyes met mine.  “Sammy, I know you think everyone here is nothing more than a terrorist,” he began. “I used to believe it myself. Hell, everyone did until we realized we couldn’t trust what our own governments were telling us!  But once you realize that, you take a closer look behind that curtain, and you start to see the truth.  These people?  They’re all vets, Sammy, just like you and me!  And we’re all here for the same reason - because they have a plan to black us out forever.”

            “What plan?” Mike asked, suspicious.

            “I don’t know,” Dean admitted.  “And that’s why Sammy wouldn’t believe me!  They don’t tell us because we can’t be forced to tell what we don’t know.  But Sammy, the reason I wanted you to come here was to meet the one who blacked me out.  Once you meet her, you’ll understand why I believe them.”  His eyes moved to Mike.  “Will you do that, Michael?  Will you trust me one last time, long enough to meet Charlie?  Because I gotta tell you, right now, from where I stand?  I have absolutely nothing else left to live for.”

            I could see Cas’s face crumble, but Dean’s attention was fixed on Michael. Michael regarded him through narrowed eyes.  Then his eyes moved, taking in the crowd of people around us, with more still arriving. “It seems we have little choice. But before we meet this person, I need to see my brothers.”

            Dean sighed.  “They’re not going to let that happen, not while you’re still influenced by that damned jack!  That’s probably why they took Gabe, so Alfie can start repairing him.  Now will you please just come with me, talk to Charlie, and then decide for yourselves?”

            “I believe you, Dean,” I said softly.

            “So do I.”  Cas reached tentatively for Dean’s hand.

            Dean jerked his hand away, taking a step back.  “Don’t.  Don’t touch me.  Don’t anyone fucking touch me, ok?!”

            I saw Cas’s eyes widen, and then go alarmingly blank.  He swayed on his feet, would have fallen if Raph hadn’t been there to grab him.  “Cas?” Raph called, pulling Cas away.  “Let Dean be, and stay with us.”

            Luc was eyeing Dean.  “I think he’s sincere, Mike, or believes he is.  Your call.”

            “Show us what you want to show us,” Mike decided.  “But if this is some sort of trick?”

            “If it’s a trick, stab your blade right through my heart!” Dean snapped. “Not like I need it anymore anyway.” And with that, he started forward, shoulders hunched, pushing his way through the crowd without ever checking to see that we followed.


	44. Chapter Fifteen - Rebooting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean introduces the Angels to Charlie. Samandriel reaches the end of his patience.

**Samandriel**

            My world collapsed, condensed to the sight of my brother lying limply on the gurney as Ellen quickly checked his pulse.  “He’s alive,” she announced.  “But that’s all I can tell you.”

            “I had no choice,” Benny said weakly.  “If he’d killed Charlie...?”

            “He never would have!” I yelled, struggling.  “Let me go!  I’m a doctor, and I’m also the only one who can jack into him and repair him!  You’ve got to let me go!”

            There was a burst of static that made me wince, and Charlie’s hologram reappeared.  “What the hell happened?”

            “Angel Gabriel hacked your network and took it over, threatened to kill you, and Benny pulled his jack,” Jo explained.  Once again, she was trying to hold my hand.  “Angel Samandriel wants...”

            “He never would have hurt her!” I exclaimed, twisting my hand free.  “It was a bluff!  We were just trying to get you to let us go!”

            “Shit, shit, shit, plug him back in!” Charlie ordered.  “Samandriel, I’m giving you a dedicated line, and I’ll stay off of it.  See what you can do with him, and hurry the hell up!”

            “And no tricks!” Benny warned, starting to regain his composure as Ellen plugged the jack back into my brother’s plate.

            I eagerly jacked into Gabriel.  What I found made me dizzy.  My brother’s computer was a mass of error messages and corrupted data.  He’d completely crashed.  “Oh, not good,” I called.  “I can stablize him for a while, but I can’t fix this.  He needs rebooted, and only his control Angel can do that!”

            “Which one is his control?”

            “Castiel,” I told him.  “We need Castiel in here, or at least on the network, and we need him fast!”

            “Charlie, where is he?” Ellen asked.

            Charlie froze for a moment.  Then her avatar gave a soft smile.  “Here,” she said.  “He’s with me!  Hello, boys!”

**Sam**

            I’d had no idea what to expect.  Dean had mentioned Charlie, the genius hacker who had blacked him out.  But that’s what I’d believed she was - a hacker.  So when Dean pushed open a door and we all filed in, I was stunned by what I saw.

            The room was obviously a hospital ward.  A respirator worked rhythmically.  Feeding solution dripped into a tube.  Wires snaked around from multiple different sources.  And in the middle of it all was a young girl in her late teens.  A shock of red hair covered one side of her head, where Dean leaned down and planted a gentle kiss.  The other was an exposed computer.  There was no plate, no jack, just a mass of exposed wiring and processors.  Wires trailed from the computer nestled in her skull, leading to more computer banks that formed a partial wall around the bed. Worst of all, she appeared to have been burned.  Her withered, contracted arms were covered with recently-healed scars.  So was part of her neck and her chin.

            “It was an explosion, her parents’ house,” Dean explained, indicating the scarring.  “I had no idea who’d done it at first, but now I’m sure it was Bartholomew.  Killed her parents.  She would have died if Benny hadn’t run through the flames and saved her.  He got burned pretty bad himself, which is why he always wears long sleeves.”

            “Hello, boys!” a woman’s voice called from hidden speakers.  A fanfare played.  “I’m Charlie, the Angel of Purgatory!”

            “A false Angel?” Raphael asked.  He was still holding Cas and looking upset.  “This is what you wanted us to see?”

            “Wow, you’re all just a bunch of conceited pricks, aren’t you?” Charlie spat. “Dean, show them the picture!”

            Dean reached up and pulled down a picture, slightly damanged by flames.  It showed a happy, smiling couple holding a red-haired infant in their arms.  “Charlie wasn’t born anencephalic,” Dean told them.  “She just had a seizure disorder.  Her parents were too poor to be able to afford the medical treatment she needed. So they brought her to Champion Medical for the free programs they offered low-income families.  And the so-called doctors there talked them into signing her up for what they were told was a new, experimental treatment for children like her.”

            I looked at the Angels, confused.  Raph was nodding.  “Champion Medical is one of our affiliate companies,” he explained.  “They do outreach, trying to help the underprivileged with an excellent rate of success.”

            “That’s the company line,” Dean growled.  “Because that’s what they did to Charlie!  They dug out most of her brain and made her an Angel, her and a bunch of other kids!”

            “Not possible,” Mike declared.  “We’d know about it, and put a stop to it.”

            “Um, I’m still in the room?” Charlie’s voice called.  “And just how old are you, Mr. Know-It-All?  Because this happened to me when I was two!  Think about the time frame and you’ll see it was just about the time you six were finally showing what you could do.  Everyone wanted to make more Angels, including your own board of directors. But Chuck Shurley said no!  He didn’t want Angels running around that he couldn’t control.  So they went through one of their affiliates, one that had a stellar reputation, the technology and skill to replicate Shurley’s little experiment using poor kids. Guess what, I’m the only one who survived!  And it’s a damned good thing my dad worked for Heaven’s Angels and was a blacked-out veteran, because that’s the only reason he was able to steal me back and get away!”

            “This is what your company is really like,” Dean insisted.  “The six of you and Chuck, you all have a goal, a vision, and it’s a good one!  You honestly do want to make the world a better place!  No, it’s true, Charlie,” he continued as Charlie scoffed.  “You’ve seen nothing to prove it, but I have. These guys, they’d never do the shit we know their company is doing.  And this is only the start!  Behind your backs and under your noses, using affiliate companies like Champion Medical, they’ve been doing things like this to the poor for years.  But the biggest moneymaker is the war machine.  That’s why they’ve been pushing projects like Chimera, making better and better soldiers with no regard to what might happen to them. In that aspect, at least, they’re similar to you.”

            I winced and glanced at Cas.  Cas didn’t react.  His face was worrisomely blank as he leaned against Raph, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings.

            “Dean, I’m sorry,” Mike began.  “We’d been stolen, we were tied down, we had two of our brothers taken from us, and we were surrounded by terrorists.  I saw using you as our best option, and maybe Cas was right about it being wrong...”

            “It was dead wrong, Mike!” I exclaimed.  “What if, when you woke up, those jacks had been in your plates instead of lying next to you?  What if these so-called terrorists were using you without your consent, which is precisely what I would have expected if they were actually terrorists?  That alone made me wonder, but just think about it for a moment, alright?  I know, brothers, I know that it’s hard for you to understand empathy without Alfie to help you, but try!  Think about how you would have felt if you woke up plugged into a network.  That’s how Dean felt when you took him over!”

            I saw their eyes widen in dismay as they finally understood, but my eyes were still on Cas.  Cas already knew this.  He’d come to understand both empathy and the concept of free will, and yet he’d still acted to take my brother over.  I could see his side, of course.  By stealing him, Dean had turned Castiel’s greatest fear into reality.  And Cas hadn’t been aware Dean wasn’t blacked out. He’d discovered it by accident while at his most vulnerable, and then had immediately received orders from Michael. Alfie had told me once about an experiment, where it had been proven that normal, ordinary people would continue to follow the instructions of an authority figure, even when they believed what they were doing was hurting another person.  For Castiel, programmed to work as part of a team, the instinct to obey his brothers must have been overwhelming.  That he’d been able to act and free Dean, that his love for my brother had been enough to break through that programming, was nothing short of a miracle.  But Dean, fresh from his worst nightmare, wouldn’t be able to understand that now.

            “The point is, this is what your company’s been doing behind your back,” Dean growled.  “It was ripe for the taking, and now someone has!  Naomi’s corrupt as hell, but at least she was only trying to set up her kid. Barthlomew is a whole different story. He wants the whole world under his control, and he’s willing to use that greed, Michael’s influence, Lucifer’s armies, Raphael’s money, Gabriel’s access, and Castiel’s tech to get it!”

            “He’s right on the cusp of having it all, too,” Charlie added.  “The only thing he needs is a way to control you all. If he gets Samandriel, he gets all of you!”

            “Which is why Angeli Quinque was what it was in my time,” Dean growled.  “With Alfie gone, all he needed was that special jack hooked up to the replica of Alfie’s computer.  In my time, the company wasn’t even trying to pretend it was about anything but conquest anymore.  And the only ones who didn’t know it, at least according to Cas, were you guys.  By the time I left, there were only two major hold-outs left before your company had pretty much the entire world under contract - Purgatory, and a country called Huis.”  He held up his right arm.  “I lost this defending Cas when rebels from there attacked us, trying to steal him. At the time, I couldn’t figure out how they knew where we’d be.  But I get it now.  Bartholomew was already on Luc’s staff, and had actually already been assigned as Cas’s bodyguard until Cas protested.  Naomi would have told her darling son what was happening, and probably where.  Gabe made the arrangements, but it was Bartholomew who set us up!”

            I glanced at Cas, but he still wasn’t reacting.  Meanwhile, Dean was shaking his head.  “Sammy would have figured this out, but not me.  The big clue was them talking to Cas, telling him they were from Huis.  Why do that, especially before they had him?  The answer is that they _wanted_ him to know, _wanted_ Cas to be able to tell someone later who it was who had taken him.  Because the whole thing was all a set-up.  Bartholomew got to them, maybe even actually did put their families in danger, manipulated them into attacking knowing they’d be killed for it.  Because before they took Cas, you were offering your services to negotiate their civil war, just like you are now, but not taking sides.  But once you found out it was the Huis rebels who attacked Cas?  The Defense section contracts got the lion’s share of everything, and Lucifer crushed everyone who had taken part in that rebellion!”

            “Which meant only Purgatory stood against us,” Luc realized.  He looked interested now.

            Dean nodded.  “I think Bartholomew expected I’d get killed, he’d lead a team to rescue Cas and come out a hero, and everything would fall into place.  When that didn’t happen, he was left in kind of a lurch.  If I hadn’t taken Cas when I did, I suspect he’d have found another way to get rid of me, maybe even the same way he was getting rid of Sammy, by setting me up as an embezzler?  Doesn’t matter.  The point is, you went to war against Huis anyway.  And that was another thing.”  He paused.  “Guys, I think Huis is where Chuck went, to help those rebels.”

            “Dad had a letter he showed us, from a little girl, who wrote to him asking for help,” I told them.  “She claimed her government had killed her family.  Dean’s right, it could easily be Huis!”

            “There’s a couple countries with rebellions right now,” Luc corrected.  “Most of them are power plays, one powerful group fighting against another.  But Huis is the only one where we really don’t know what’s happening inside.”

            “And that’s why dad went,” I argued.  “He cut all ties to the company and went in alone to try to help.  And if you really did go to war against those rebels, well, you probably unknowingly killed him!”

            “Which would leave Naomi the legal guardian of all of you if you became incapacitated,” Dean finished.  “And with that jack, she had the ability to make sure you all fell in line, or incapacitate you!  Because your computers still work even when you can’t, right?”

            “They do,” Charlie said softly.  “That’s exactly why I’m like this.  I’m aware, can communicate over the network.  But that?”  She indicated the twisted, burned figure on the bed.  “That’s pretty much what you’d become too, if Dean hadn’t done what he did to save you!”

            I could see the looks my Angels were exchanging, the way their eyes betrayed their suspicions.  Now they were nodding.  At long last, they were believing what Dean was saying.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

            “Speaking of incapacitated?” Charlie called.  “Are you guys willing to listen enough to not freak completely out when I tell you that we really, really need Castiel to jack into Gabriel?  We’ve got a bit of a problem!”

**Samandriel**

            I breathed a sigh of relief when my brothers and the Winchesters finally arrived, looking upset but reasonably calm.  Charlie had told Ellen, Jo, and Benny to let us go, although Jo still lingered close and kept touching me for some reason.  Now I was bent over Gabriel’s still figure, monitoring his vitals. Sammy nearly knocked me over, rushing past me to reach Gabriel.  I was expecting that.  “Great, you’re here!” I called.  “Castiel, you need to jack into him and exercise your control function!”

            I was holding up a jack, expecting my brother to take it.  But to my surprise nothing happened.  I looked up, blinking at Castiel, and saw him standing as he was, staring off into space.

            “Alfie, you need to fix Cas first,” Raphael announced, pushing my blank-faced brother towards me.  “I don’t understand what’s wrong!”

            “He’s shutting down,” Dean muttered.  “Going catatonic.  He does that when he doesn’t get his own way.”

            I frowned.  “That’s cruel, Dean!  Castiel is...”

            To my surprise, Dean actually whirled on me.  “Samandriel, I do not give a fuck how broken he is anymore.  I don’t care that he’s programmed to follow orders and didn’t know I wasn’t blacked out when he took me over.  He did it!  And he used the arm that he put onto me, knowing it was against my wishes!  He knew exactly what he was doing, knew how much it would hurt me, and _he did it anyway!”_

            “And I cannot excuse that,” I shot back, bristling.  “You’ve got every right to be angry, Dean.  But you also knew that being stolen was Castiel’s worst nightmare!  You spent the night with us last night, and you didn’t tell us?  Why?  Ah,” I said, seeing the guilt flash across Dean’s face.  “You didn’t trust me not to insist on telling our brothers.  And if Castiel knew, he might feel obligated to tell them!  You knew enough about how his mind works to keep this from him and traumatize him again! That was your choice!  Now you want to hate someone whose brain is a computer for doing precisely what that computer is programmed to do?  Go right ahead!  Just don’t do it here and now because I don’t have the time for it!  Right now, I am the only thing keeping Gabriel stable.  I can’t tap into multiple Angels over this network, and I can’t stop unless Castiel’s going to step right in with his control function.  He is the only one who can save Gabriel now!  You stole all of us to bring us here with no warning, so this?"  I pointed an accusing finger at Gabriel. “This is your fault, Dean Winchester! Now if you want us to help you, that means you help me with Castiel so he can help your brother-in-law, because until Gabriel is rebooted?  I guarantee you that none of us will cooperate!”

            “We never intended to hurt you!” Jo exclaimed.  “Just help us, and we’ll let you all go, take you back safe and sound!” To my annoyance, she was trying yet again to take my hand.  I jerked away.

            “Dean, help him!” Raphael pleaded pushing Castiel towards him.  “What’s wrong with my brother?”

            “He did this at the hospital when I rejected him,” Dean growled.  His face was flushed, his jaw working as he carefully avoided looking at Castiel.  “Doesn’t matter.  If you just plug him in, he’ll start working!”

            “No, he won’t,” I corrected over the disapproving frowns of my brothers.  “Control function is automatic, but even if I was willing to plug a jack into Castiel without his consent?  It will only activate if Gabriel is in overload.  He isn’t, Dean!  He just needs rebooted because he had a jack removed before he disconnected!  And to do that, Castiel has to manually exercise his control function!”

            I saw Dean’s eyes widen as he understood, saw them flick to Gabriel, still cradled in the arms of a frantic Sammy.  “Dean!” Sammy yelled.  “Please, I’m sorry about what happened to you, but it’s not Gabe’s fault!  If you can help, then please!  Do it!”

            Dean flinched.  “You don’t know what you’re asking, Sammy.”

            “I’m asking you to save my angel,” Sammy said.  “Please!”

            Dean flinched again.  His eyes closed, his head tilted so he was looking up, almost as if he were in silent prayer.  Then he turned and moved to Castiel.

            Castiel was still standing there, silent and still, looking more like a robot than any of us had ever looked before.  Dean paused, staring at him.  Then he raised a hand.  I saw it tremble as he gently stroked Castiel’s cheek.  “Cas?  Come back, angel.  It’s me. I’m here.”

            Castiel’s eyes slowly blinked.  They moved slightly, finally seeming to focus on Dean.

            “Yeah, it’s me,” Dean said.  His voice was soft, his fingers moving as he continued to touch Castiel’s cheek.  “I haven’t left you.  I’m right here.  Come back to me, please?”

            “Dean?”  Castiel’s voice was a faint whisper.  “I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!”

            “You’re sorry again,” Dean said.  His voice was soft, but bitter.  “You keep doing this to me, and this time, you took me over!  It was awful, Castiel, worse than the military, because this time, it was you!  How could you?”

            “Brothers,” Castiel whispered.  “Can’t let them be stolen, Dean.  I had to save them.  It was always about saving them!  Dean...”

            Dean scoffed.  “You’d do anything for them!  Hell, you fought off a group of Demons with your bare hands to save Samandriel.  I suppose it’s not much of a stretch to think you’d do this to me to save them all, is it?  Dammit, Castiel, there wasn’t anything, anything I could imagine, that would have been worse than what you did to me today!”

            Castiel drooped, and Dean sighed.  “Your brother Gabe needs you, alright?  Can you jack into him, reboot him?”

            Castiel’s eyes moved to Gabriel, widened in alarm.  He stepped forward, took the jack I still held, and plugged it into his plate.  I breathed a sigh of relief, transferred control to him, and removed my jack.  And a moment later, Gabriel gasped.  “Rebooting.  Rebooting.”

            “Will he be alright now?” Sammy asked, looking anxiously at me.

            “It will take a few minutes, but it’s not like an overload,” I told him with a smile.  “He should be just fine once he reboots.”

            “Awesome.”  Dean turned and started towards the door.

            “Dean!”  Castiel was standing with his fists clenched, staring after Dean, bound by the jack to Gabriel.  “Don’t go!  Please, don’t go!  Let me help my brother, and then talk to me!  Please!”

            “I got nothing to say to you.”

            I stared, flabbergasted, after Dean as he headed out the door.  Then I quickly excused myself and started after him.

            To my surprise, a powerful hand shot out and grabbed my arm.  “Don’t,” Sammy called.  “Let him go.  He needs time.”


	45. Chapter Sixteen - Turn Back Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel decides he's given Dean enough time

**Castiel**

            I sat at the bar, glass in one hand, and stared at the holo.  “In international news, trials are starting today for the deposed former leaders of Huis,” the news anchor announced.  “We take you live to this small African nation with our roaming reporter, Jessica Munroe.”

            “Mark, I’m standing near the courthouse, where a large group of people have gathered to await the trial of a number of the former government leaders,” Munroe explained.  “Since the now-famous global blackout originated by the freedom fighters in Purgatory, the rebellion here in Huis was finally able to easily overthrow those who once held them under an iron heel.  Now, viewers may remember that, despite not being part of the network, the Huis leaders were using a modified version of the infamous Chimera cybernetics. While they lacked the control that Chimera was known for, the implants were capable of stimulating the pain centers in the brains of those they controlled, all but ensuring obedience. It was through this system that the Huis tyrants maintained their control over their military, but in a happy twist of fate, the global blackout also affected nearly all of the off-brand military enhancements.  Once freed, the tyrants were quickly overthrown by their own military.  Now, those who survived will be facing justice.”

            “Justice,” I mumbled into my drink.  “About time.”  I raised my glass in salute to the image, spotting a familiar elderly imp making his way into the courthouse.  His hand was wrapped around that of a young girl, not much older than ten, who was chatting excitedly at him as he went in to testify against the tyrants he’d been helping fight against.  Dad looked happy, peaceful.  We’d already decided not to try to contact him.  If the old man wanted to contact us, he knew where to find us.

            I wasn’t surprised we hadn’t heard from him.  The entire world had its eyes on Heaven’s Angels now, watching as we completely restructured the company.  We’d gone on a regular tear, rooting out all of the corrupt members of the board, gouging our finances to pay reparations, and putting poor Raphael into overload twice when he tried to balance the currency after stocks world wide crashed in anticipation of the company’s collapse.  But we all knew we wouldn’t collapse.  The company teetered, but never went down, and before long, it stabilized once more, and the world’s markets with it.  Heaven’s Angels, after all, may have profited greatly from war, but war had never been our goal.  That’s why the loss of a massive amount of income from militaries worldwide was something we were more than willing to bear.

            In retrospect, while we’d all praised Charlie for her discovery, privately we’d agreed it should have been obvious.  Every processor Heaven’s Angels produced all had the same signature, a tiny bit of code that identified it as coming from our factories.  For the most part, even today the world believed it was there to prevent pirating, and that was partially true.  But Gabriel had confirmed what it really was - a tightly packed bit of code that was capable, for a short period of time, of opening a secret back door, allowing anyone who used it the ability to alter the base program of any tech that used the hardware.  Every processor we’d ever designed, built, and sold had that secret back door.  And Gabriel, who’d seen it before, recognized what it was - Samandriel’s brain patterns. Gabriel claimed, with a bit of work, he could have replicated it, unlocked that back door that allowed Charlie’s program entrance.  He probably could.  After all, that’s why, in the other timeline, the Hunters had sent Dean to steal Gabriel. But Samandriel had needed nothing more than his own thoughts.  Once we’d connected Purgatory to the Heaven’s Angels network, Samandriel had linked up with Charlie and pulsed her signal through the entire network, to every processor. All over the world, those processors had responded.  Most of them were unaffected, Charlie’s program only acting to close that back door forever.  But the tracking capability, as well as the ability of the Chimera implants to take people over, was completely shut down.  It didn’t even matter if the veterans were blacked out.  If the processors existed, they responded.  And now they never would again.

            Had dad known about that bit of code?  I doubted it.  I’d inserted it into every bit of tech I’d produced in my life, as part of the anti-piracy measures and I’d had no idea.  It had taken an outsider like Charlie, someone who had been trying to hack into our network for years, to recognize that common bit of coding on every processor and figure out what it was.  How she’d made the connection to Samandriel, I’d never know.  But my brothers and I, especially once we’d recognized the full extent of Naomi’s greed, should have guessed that she’d have one more trick, one more way to give control to her unwilling son.  If Samandriel had been anything like her, he could have had the world in his hands.  Had Adam Bartholomew learned of the code, he would have had no need of Naomi or the six of us to take over.  But here, at least, Naomi had kept her secrets.

            I finished my drink and signaled for another, sternly telling myself that it needed to be my last.  When it arrived, I stared into it, my thoughts lingering on Naomi.  I still remembered the look on her face when we’d gone with Lucifer’s security and arrested her.  Seeing that Samandriel wasn’t with us, she’d sneered at Michael. “So this is how you’ll keep your control?  By removing anyone who would get in your way!”

            But Michael hadn’t risen to her challenge.  All he’d done was look at her sadly.  “You should have come to me, back when Bartholomew first started blackmailing you,” he’d told her.  “I would have helped you.”

            “There wasn’t anything he could have done to hurt you if you had,” Lucifer agreed. “If you’d just come to us, told us what you’d done, we would have protected you and made it right!”

            I remember the way her eyes widened, her jaw dropped.  The way her eyes moved amoung our faces, seeing nothing but sorrow and regret.  And finally the tears that welled in them as she realized, too late, that the son she favored could no longer stand to face her, and the sons she’d neglected would have done anything to protect her.  It was only a couple of months ago that Samandriel had finally gone to visit his mother in prison.  But all of the rest of us had been visiting her every week since she’d been arrested.

            For his part, Samandriel would likely never be the cheerful, eternally happy Angel he’d once been again.  His eyes had a sadness that had never been there before.  He was still quick with a smile, eager to see the best in others, and most people couldn’t detect the change.  But my brothers and I had noticed a slight dimming of his bright smile, and he still confided in me.  “I know it’s not my fault,” he’d said.  “But all of this, everything that happened?  In some way, shape or form, it happened because of me.  And that is a burden I need to carry for the rest of my days.”

            There was one thing that never failed to make him smile, though.  We’d moved Charlie into the Heaven building, putting her into dad and Naomi’s old living quarters just below our sections. Her bright, smiling hologram greeted visitors as the new company spokesperson when she wasn’t busy in my section.  Charlie had no indicator light above the doors because she was in no danger of overloading.  Samandriel had done all he could for her, but she was a false Angel.  She could never push her processors the way we could, never even approach half of what we could do.  But she was a tremendous help.  I’d been quick to name her Deputy Lead Researcher.  In fact, she was in charge of my section while I was away.  I knew it was in capable hands.  My only real concern was Gabriel.  But he’d willingly put a hard limit on his own jack, assuring me he wouldn’t overload while I was away.

            All in all, I could look back on the past year and count it mostly as a huge success.  Only two things stood out in my mind.  The first was that the real culprit, Adam Bartholomew, had never been captured. Gabriel was still following up every tantalizing lead, and we knew we were closing in.  It was a matter of time before he was brought to justice now.

            The other thing was of a far more personal nature.

            Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him.  The scruff over his face did little to hide his finely-sculpted features. Those features seemed to be rather badly bruised.  Apparently, he’d had some sort of disagreement, complete with bruises and scrapes on the knuckles of both hands.  Some things never changed.  His green eyes looked harder, certainly sadder, but they were the same as I’d seen in my dreams for the past year.  His short hair and muscular frame were much as I remembered, right down to the bowed legs that hooked on the base of the stool.  When the global blackout became known, we Angels were seen as heroes by some for our part in it, and villains by just as many for the role our company played in causing the very issues we’d then helped solve.  Ellen, Jo, Benny and Charlie were hailed as leaders and instigators of what was now known as the Great Revolution.  But Sam and Dean Winchester were viewed by pretty much everyone as the real heroes.  Since we didn’t dare try to explain, Sammy was credited for putting together the mystery of the company, precisely as he’d done in the other timeline.  He was the mastermind, and Dean was the soldier who’d fought all odds to save his fellow veterans.  It wasn’t entirely accurate for either of them.  Poor Sammy had found himself hiding from the spotlight, especially once he and Gabriel had finally announced their marriage.  But Dean?  Dean Winchester had simply disappeared.

            Or at least that was what he thought.  Dean had no way to know just how easily Gabriel had been tracking him, or how closely we’d been watching over him, ensuring he was safe.  The fact that he’d obviously been in a fight was actually surprising.

            I finished my drink, the burning “liquid courage” making my eyes water and doing little to actually bolster my courage.  Then I got up, and went to Dean.

            As I drew near, I stopped, reached into the pocket of my trench coat and triggered the gadget Charlie and I had made.  Dean blinked in surprise when his phone started playing “Turn Back Time.” He pulled the phone from his pocket, frowned at it, switched off the music and replaced it.  I triggered my device again, and again Dean drew out his phone and frowned.  This time, he left the music playing, his eyes sweeping the bar.  I saw his eyes shift to me, pass me by.  But then suddenly he looked sharply at me, those green eyes seeming to bore into mine.

            I moved closer, my hands in my pockets and my head ducked.  It was all I could do to force myself to look up at him, to meet the intensity of that gaze.  “Hi,” I managed.  “Nice song.”

            “It’s alright,” he said.  “I heard it from someone I thought I knew once.  Don’t know how it got on my phone, though.”

            “It’s not about literally turning back time, so much as it’s asking for another chance,” I offered.  “Maybe just a walk together, so we could talk?”

            His face could have been made from stone.  I couldn’t read body language like Samandriel, but I recognized the way Dean hunched his shoulders, the way he stared at me.  My mouth was suddenly dry.  I reached over and put my hand over the scanner next to him, paying his tab. He cocked an eyebrow, surprised that I finally had money of my own.  But he didn’t say a word.  All he did was look at me.

            I licked my lips and took a deep breath.  “Please.  I only want to talk to you.  I have no right to ask it, but I can’t just let things lie like this between us. Talk to me, and if you want me to leave you alone, never speak to you again, then I’ll do it.  Will you give me that much?”

            He stared at me a bit longer, and I was sure for a moment he’d say no.  But he didn’t say anything.  He just got up and headed towards the door.

            I tagged along after him, moving up to walk at his side.  After the heat of the bar, the bitter cold of the December air took my breath away.  I pulled my heavy winter trench coat closed around myself, keeping stride with Dean as he walked with his head down.  “Second time we went for a walk and talk after you found me in a bar,” he noted. “Think I was just as pissed off at you then as I am now.  This won’t end the same way, Castiel.”

            “I’d prefer you didn’t choke me again.”

            “Not what I meant.  Although to be honest, that part still could happen.”

            I kept close to him as we moved around a group of laughing young people. “You’re angry.”

            “Don’t I have the right?”  He slowed, finally stopped, and turned to me.  “Twice I risked everything for you.  Twice I was ready to die for you.  Twice I saved you, Castiel, and twice you betrayed me!  I’m only a man, alright?  I’m not capable of infinite forgiveness!”

            “I don’t want your forgiveness.  I know I don’t deserve it.”

            “Damned right!”  His eyes moved, taking in the right side of my head.  “What is that, a wig?  What’s covering your plate?”

            “It’s something Charlie designed, so we could go out in public and not immediately get recognized as Angels.”  I touched the flap of false hair and skin that exactly matched my own and perfectly camouflaged my plate.  Then I indicated my eyes.  “Contact lenses, too.  They work even if our indicators are full.  We’ve been going out a lot lately.”

            “Doing what?”  He’d started walking again.

            “Well, Michael and Lucifer have been dating twin sisters they met,” I explained, keeping up with him.  “Raphael’s been doing a lot of work with children’s charities and claims he’s too busy to date.  Gabriel and Sammy have this network, strictly low tech, of people in shady places that feed them information.  Gabriel’s even more of the Trickster now than he ever was.  And Samandriel, well, he’s seeing someone, too.”

            “Anyone I know?”

            “Jo Harvelle.”

            Dean stumbled and nearly fell.  “Seriously?! Ha!  Hope that kid knows what he’s getting into!”

            “He does.  She pursued him rather aggressively for about three months before he finally agreed to go out with her.  Now they’re fairly serious.  We’re glad, they’re good for each other.”

            “What about you?”

            “The dates Sammy and Samandriel died in the other timelines were hard,” I said quietly.  “Sammy told us you’d called him on his, so you know we all just kind of shut down and closed ranks on those two days.  But once the days were past, we were all just grateful to have them, you know?  Christmas was tough for me.  I did make some changes, though.  This year, everyone’s decorated their sections.  It’s nice.”

            Dean didn’t look at me.  “You seeing anyone?”

            “No. You?”

            “Oh, I’ve, um, got someone I’ve been seeing, you know, casually.  Nothing too serious.”

            It was a lie.  He wasn’t seeing anyone either, I knew.  Gabriel made sure of it.  I wasn’t sure why Dean would lie to me, but I didn’t react.  “Samandriel did a lot of work with all of us, undoing the damage that was done,” I said instead.  “Especially me.  I don’t wander anymore, Dean.  They stopped locking me in my section a few months back, on the day you first became my bodyguard in our other timeline, actually.”

            “Hey, that’s great!”  He sounded genuinely happy.  “You back to normal then?”

            “No. I’ll never be back to normal.  I don’t wander, but I still get lost in my thoughts and just sort of stop.  My brothers call it ‘Zoning Out.’  Unless it’s important, everyone just leaves me alone when it happens because I’ll come out of it eventually.  I still need caregivers, though, because I still forget to eat or rest or take care of myself.”

            “So where’s your caregiver now?”

            “Heaven,” I explained.  “And I’m still currently without a bodyguard.”

            He suddenly paused.  “Wait, I never saw security teams come through to check everyone.  You’re not in a security perimeter?  Castiel, what are you doing?  Don’t tell me you’re out here alone and unprotected!”

            “Alone, yes,” I told him.  I raised my right arm, letting my Angel blade protrude just enough from my sleeve for him to see the tip.  “Not unprotected.  We’re all experts in how to use them now.  Lucifer says he’s the only one better than I am, but none of us will ever be helpless again.”

            He bumped gently against me, letting me feel the unmistakable bulge of his phaser hidden beneath his coat.  “Just so you know, I’m protected, too.  So don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.”

            “I’m not here to fight you, Dean.”

            “Then what the hell do you want?”

            “You.”

            He stopped, shoulders hunched, his handsome face twisted into a scowl.  “It’s over between us, alright?  I can’t move past what you did to me.”

            “Do you hate me, Dean?”  That was an important question.  I found myself holding my breath as I waited for his answer.

            Dean seemed to think about it for a moment.  “No,” he said at last.  “No, I don’t hate you, Castiel.”

            “I miss you.  I never stopped loving you.  But I have to know, why didn’t you just tell me what you were going to do?  You knew I wasn’t corrupted, and I would have believed you.  So why did you steal me, terrify me like you did?”

            “I should have told you,” he grumbled.  “It just all happened so fast, and all I was thinking about was that I needed to get you all to Purgatory and safe before Naomi or Bartholomew could hurt you anymore!  I didn’t think about telling you, just about how I was going to protect you.”

            “You loved me.”

            “You know I did.”

            “I still love you, Dean.”

            He froze again, back stiff.  “Why are you doing this to me, Castiel?  It’s been over a year!  I’m not coming back!  Why won’t you just leave me alone and go on with your life?!”

            “Because my life is missing the best thing in it!”  I dared to move closer, but didn’t quite dare to touch him. “Dean, I spent my entire life learning how to be an Angel.  You taught me how to be human.  You taught me love, free will, empathy, the best parts of being a human being!  Even this!”  I pointed, indicating an angel in lights.  “Christmas.  I couldn’t stay away.  I had to take the chance and come to see you.  And you were right here, living just a few blocks from the Heaven building!”

            “I never left,” he said gruffly.  “And don’t get sentimental, Castiel, it had nothing to do with you. I just knew the stupid press would leave me alone and move on once they didn’t find me.  But that apparently didn’t stop Gabe!”  He scowled.  “How long has that asshole been tracking me?”

            “Since the day of the global blackout,” I confessed.  “Charlie helped, gave us your other ID a few months ago. So it wasn’t hard to figure out...”

            “Charlie gave you my other ID?!  Holy shit, is there anyone I can trust?!”

            “Yes!  Dean, she gave me your ID because she wanted me to find you.  She said you’d never been so happy as you were when you were with me, and now you were just a shell of yourself.  She said she’d been hoping you would come to me, but when you didn’t...” I shrugged.

            He sighed.  “Son of a bitch!”

            And now I dared to touch him, to place my hand on his chest in that old sign. He stared at it.  “Dean, I would have searched the entire world for you,” I told him.  “I would have done anything, whatever it took to find you.  Because I love you.  And I can’t let it end like this.”

            He looked away, but I reached up and gently turned his head back until his eyes met mine.  “I hurt you,” I told him.  “I know that.”

            “And I know why you did it.  I get it, ok? Castiel, after that first time they took me over in the service, I started obeying any order just to keep it from happening again!  That’s how awful it was, but at the same time?  I still think I should have fought.  I should have made them force me again, but I didn’t.  I just followed orders!  I’m a Special Forces soldier, and I didn’t have the strength to stand against a direct order.  So how the hell could you have done it, when following your brothers’ orders was what you were programmed to do?”  His eyes moved away from mine.  “Except you did.  At the end, you defied your brothers and you let me go.  You did what I never could.”

            My hand was still on his cheek.  “I love you, Dean.  In the end, that broke even my programming.  Because I’m not a machine.  I have free will, and I couldn’t hurt you anymore.”  My hand moved to the back of his head.  “I won’t ask you to forgive me...”

            “I forgive you.”

            I made a choked sound.  “Come back to me!”

            He looked away.  “No.”

            “Why?!”

            “Because I don’t love you, Castiel.  That’s what my forgiveness costs.  I can forgive an Angel who was only obeying programming.  But I can’t forgive someone I love!”

            I closed my eyes and lowered my head.  “Dean, you used to call me your angel.  I told you then it wasn’t true.  But calling you my bodyguard, or even my lover was wrong, too.  You’re the Righteous Man!  Everything you did, you did it because you believed it was the right thing to do.  You were willing to take whatever consequences came to save me, to suffer or even be executed for the crime of stealing an Angel, because you loved me. That kind of love doesn’t just go away!”

            “Dammit, Cas, this isn’t a fairy tale!” he snarled, pulling away and giving me a hard shove that sent me stumbling back.  “You don’t always get a happy ending, alright?!”

            “Cas,” I said.  “All this time, you’ve called me Castiel.  But just now?”

            His face flushed, something flashing in his eyes for just a second that I’d been longing to see.  Before I could decide if it was real, he was pushing past me, moving rapidly down the sidewalk.

            I quickly went after him, running until I caught up with him and grabbed his arm. “Dean!  Look at me!”

            “Son of a bitch!  You said you’d leave me alone if I talked to you, and I did!  Now leave me alone!”

            “Look at me!” I insisted.  “Look into my eyes right now, and tell me that you don’t love me!”

            The green eyes met mine.  His face was pale, and beneath my hand on his arm, I could feel him trembling. “I...  I don’t...”

            “I love you,” I told him, moving closer.  “I love you, Dean.  I’ll never stop loving you.  You said you’d hurt me again, that we’d hurt each other, and we have.  But Dean, I’ll take the pain, I’ll take the heartache, I’ll take whatever the future brings as long as you’re a part of it!  Please!”

            He closed his eyes and lowered his head.  “Damn you, angel!  Don’t do this to me!”

            “What do you want?  What is it going to take to make you see that you and I belong together?  Some sort of sign, a message from above?”  As I spoke, I’d looked up.  Then I froze.  “Dean?”

            “What?”  He followed my gaze, looking up at the sprig of plant that hung from the archway where we were standing.  He sucked in his breath.  “Oh! We’ve been here before.”

            “We have,” I agreed.  “This exact same place, at this exact same date and time, in a timeline that will never happen now.  And I never did get what I asked you for.”

            I saw him swallow.  His eyes went back up to the mistletoe, and then returned to me.  “You shouldn’t be out without security.”

            “No, I shouldn’t, especially with Bartholomew being spotted just outside the city.  Did you know that?”

            “I did, actually.  He came to meet with someone just last night, someone he thought had a grudge against the six of you.  But I hear that meeting didn’t go so well for him.”

            I looked at him again, noting once more the bruises on his face, the cuts on his knuckles.  I remembered the phaser on his belt.  My heart skipped a beat.  “Should I be concerned?”

            “No. Not about him.  He will never hurt you, not now, and not ever again.”

            I sucked in my breath, seeing this hard, powerful man in front of me.  I knew only too well what Dean Winchester was capable of.  For him to lure and murder Adam Bartholomew was well within the scope of possibility. But when I considered my own feelings, I found nothing but a sense of deep satisfaction.  “Good,” I said.

            His lips curled into a slight smile, and I stopped hesitating.  I moved forward, pressed my lips to his, and kissed him beneath the mistletoe.  Part of me cringed in terror, fearful he’d pull back, that what I’d so desperately wanted to believe wasn’t true.  But if Dean really had done this, had lured the last real threat against us to his death, then surely it meant Dean still loved me, right?

            When Dean’s hands caught my arms and pushed me back, I nearly sobbed.  But Dean was still smiling.  “How was that?” he asked.

            I nodded like a fool.  “Good,” I managed.  “It was good! Dean, does this mean...?”

            His eyes dropped.  His hand went to my chest, lying flat over my heart.  Then he tucked down his middle and ring fingers, and I gasped.  “I never stopped, angel,” he admitted shyly.  “I stayed close, watched over you, made sure Bartholomew couldn’t hurt you.  But I couldn’t stay with you, not after what you did to me!  I needed time.”

            “I need you, Dean.”  I pressed the sign back at him.  “Please. Come back?”

            He still wouldn’t meet my eyes.  I saw his tongue appear briefly, licking his lips.  “This won’t be like it was,” he warned.  “If I come back, I’m going to need you to give me some space, let us get to know each other again.  We’re both so different now, especially you!  I can’t believe how much progress you’ve made!”

            I smiled shyly.  “I did it for you.  Because if you ever came back, I wanted you to be proud of me.”

            “I am!”  He was leaning closer, his eyes closing.  “I’m so very proud of you, angel!”

            He was proud of me.  Dean was proud of me.  It was the best Christmas gift I could ever get.

            All around us, people were moving, up and down the streets in search of a deal. They paid little attention to two men standing beneath the archway, in the exact same way we’d stood here once before.  I didn’t care.  I wrapped my arms around my Righteous Man and pulled him closer, content to stand forever right here, kissing Dean beneath the mistletoe.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout-out to Tem for being such a wonderfully obsessive (and reasonably violent) test reader! Thank you to everyone who stayed with me on this wild ride, and Merry Christmas!


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